This story was written about five hours after Why the supreme kai thinks there are only 28 planets in the universe by kidvegeta, esquire was, and it was the main reason why The Big Book of Very Important Things exists, as after creating this story, and the one following it in the collection, these one-shots needed to be collected into a larger collection.
In any case, I remember tun being stressed out by me creating this story. I did not care then, and I do not care now. His counsel did lead me to creating The Big Book of Very Important Things, but otherwise, he had no power to stop me from doing this. He did try, and that made me laugh more.
I wrote this story entirely on the wiki. I never created a google doc for it or anything like that. This story was written the same night as I had written the previous Supreme Kai 28 planets story, just several hours later, so I was a lot drunker when I did it.
The only thing I remember about this story is that I wanted to have it be another way of describing why Shin is so stupid, and why he believes there are 28 planets inhabited in u7 (an erroneous belief). I wanted to use more of a texting style, that of Shin and the Supreme Kai of Time exchanging messages through a phone conversation. In any case, my analysis of this story will not be long, so let's get it over already.
Story[edit | edit source]
--hi hello supreme kai here, he said politely on the phone --bitch what u want, it was the galactic king what a portly fucker --pls can u tell me how many planets in the unvierse have people --ur a right cunt ya know that --yea i am --lets see galatiking sounded rather spineless to the supreme kai --get on with it then --shut up ya wallaby
The phone call decommenced abruptly.
The Supreme Kai, having felt long enough and been long enough, seen long enough, done long enough, but there were many shrimp in his own private forest, decided to run. It was horrible Kibito approaching him that guy was so ugly. The Supreme Kai jumped away from approaching Kibito the horror and turned into a pond stone whereupon he sunk to the bottom of the pond like a stone.
It was a quarter past breeding time.
The Galactic King had an acute case of cephalophobia; it is said that in Galactic Habitable Planet #27, a Galactic King cannot and will not and shall not and wants not to be seen in public without a squidbaby slut clung to each of his rubbery tentacles.
It was a terror deeper than a mudfilled pond in the middle of a cave in Ecuador. A patrol dude named Winnipeg Flemsong, Jr., was on duty today. "Get me that list of planets ya shit"
"who u callin shit u blob of fuckmatter"
"i can stop asteroids u dingecunt get off me noggin u bog goblin"
"alright cunt chill"
he was a fancy boy his father was mayor of Galactic Habitable Planet #12. when winni had been a mere lad his father had thrown him off an eight hundred foot wall of ice. he was a bug so he lived but he was never the same afterwards sometimes he could be seen.
"yo this niġġa Space Alphonso Sebastian Wilcox was like niġġa imma fill out this planet list"
"yea i ppay good money for scrubs like u" gronaed galactic king.
"he wrote down 27 planets"
"oh good thats not too many my paperworks not so bad this year haha last year was a rough one i nearly blew my brains out and now i only got 27 to worry about"
"oh ya it's 28 since ur supposed to make sure the supreme kai knows there's around 28 inhabited planets in the universe"
"thats a loada fuckin winge tits, we're not the whole universe we service a very select and refined group of classy individuals who just so happen to own exactly 28 planets or so"
"does he know that" the bug was so royal it pissed hte king off
"go get killed by an ice demon fuckin peasant" and he sent the kid away.
"supreme kai honey ok im reddy"
"not yet grunt supreme kai from other side as he shines kibitos sword lookit that ugly fuckers face its like the grand canyon smdh son howd that fucker get on the show
"28 of these fuckers"
"ok sounds good bye"
"and u know theres really billions and billions of inhavited planets right"
"no not at all im retarded"
"oh okay bye"
oh he had drops o pearl alright
Endnotes[edit | edit source]
- In terms of the name of this story, I've always felt that 'raisin' sounds a lot like a british person trying to say reason.
- Shin was very polite in the opening paragraph.
- It's a canon fact that Shin is a right cunt.
- Cephalopods are, in general, spineless.
- I had a very clear image in my mind of that deep pool, isolated and devoid of even pond scum.
- Kibito is awful. He has at least some level of self awareness.
- "It was a quarter past breeding time." - this is probably the greatest line I've ever written.
- "it is said that in Galactic Habitable Planet #27, a Galactic King cannot and will not and shall not and wants not to be seen in public without a squidbaby slut clung to each of his rubbery tentacles." - I think this line of thinking was influenced by Squidbillies.
- "It was a terror deeper than a mudfilled pond in the middle of a cave in Ecuador." - I have thalassophobia to a severe degree and have watched several videos of people exploring central and southern American caves, and it's like being tortured, man.
- I am aesthetically interested in bog goblins. Not to say I find them beautiful.
- The wall reference was an A Song of Ice and Fire reference, veritably. Also, bugs are weird, strange creatures.
- "Space Alphonso Sebastian Wilcox" - this name was influenced by me having been watching Parks & Rec at the time I wrote this.
- 28 planets is pure nonsense if you think about it for more than 2 seconds. Toriyama did not.
- Kibito is aesthetically a 1/10 for me.
- This story is perhaps the most critical of the three Shin-28-planets stories, as in this story, Shin admits that that the 28 planets number is not true.
- The drops of pearl, as anyone could guess, is a reference to semen.
This story was a pivotal moment in KidVegeta's development as a writer. Certainly, anyone should consider akin to a rare candy. Not a single EV was gained.
<---- Part 119.1
Part 119.3 ---->