This page, The KidVegeta Anthology/The Big Book of Very Important Things/The Part Where He Actually Blows Himself, is property of KidVegeta.


This story was written on April 1, 2017, being completed at 5:39 pm, a little less than two hours after I had created the page for The Big Book of Very Important Things. Indeed, this story conceptually existed before I created The Big Book of Very Important Things, but it was not written until after that was a thing. It is one of four chapters in this story to be written after I created the page.

This is the deleted scene of The Man Who Blue Himself, a story written by TUN. Unfortunately since TUN left DBF, his story is no longer on the site. But anyways, in that story, at some point, General Blue performs autofellatio, and TUN had me write that scene. This story is that scene in its entirety. It makes references to Blue's first name being Klaus (it is Lukas in my universe), and other references to characters and whatnot in TUN's story.

However, a good deal of my own personal experiences are embedded in this story. The first time I ever sucked my own dick was in 6th grade, so the surreal terror of that was flavored with Klaus' characterization up to that point in TUN's story. He's not really broken, but his determination is highly internalized, and highly concentrated on certain areas that he can still control, such as sexual release.

I won't say this is a serious story, and I won't say it's a comedy. It was slightly based on two poems: [in Just-] and The Waste Land. The Waste Land again becomes a major inspiration for the last chapter of Dragon Ball Supper, but we'll get to that in a few anthologies from now. This story's scheme was more experimental, but it is one of two stories (the other being Dragon Ball Supper) that I actually care about in this collection.


Story[edit | edit source]

When I was in sixth grade,colored a pic of hindu god rumoosh. saw of myself in the mimrror and i could see how i could strech out. this the day I called myself lukas blu

klaus tore the postcard and threw it in the bin. a tosser

arsenal were reamin chelsea on the tele

中の自信過剰な心だと

when my friend, the Earl, said to me. "the union bonesetter cancelled afternoon tea"

and nothing, the pain of nothing

if a coward dies a thousand times

there's a graveyard in my head

O O O

if we could go to the water, in the water,

drinking of the spring, the stone floor never dry

the ghost gave answer, under a snore or three,

and the ragged tomcat, little Orange, yowling in the dark.

n he wished he didnt have a camera

nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak

the mattresses should have been tossed three months ago, the baker's boy had told him.

but I smell their blood

For Klaus to stretch, to become ol st. sebastian

circle ring ring triangle square

Slow to process and quick to unwind the spine

curling and uncurling again.

Hating filth, never clean, the imprint of toes on the ceiling

and he swayed, nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak

tereu


lala la

---------------the balloonman came round again,


-----------------------d a n c i n g

in the -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------rain.

A bright light,


---pumping ---with his

hips


A raccoon on the windowsill.


black--------------- in just, slow down

s o u n d l e s s----------- w o r k i n g--- w o r m i n g

Dirt in the ceiling - ----------moonlight over---------------round the back

It's

Midnight

and

Klaus uncurled------------------- jumped out of bed

wiping---his---mouth

to let the tomcat out the

clawed and

foggy window


Endnotes[edit | edit source]

  1. The opening quote sets the scene of my own experience.
  2. Notice the "O O O" here, in line with what Eliot wrote. Instead, I use "oh oh oh oh oh" for the scene in Dragon Ball Supper that references this part of The Waste Land.
  3. The coward quote is a Radical Face quote, and one of my favorites.
  4. My orange yowler is named Little Dexter, and he's a great cat, but he's an annoying bitch too.
  5. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a camera.
  6. The process of curling and uncurling the spine was always the trickiest part for me, as flexibility is often key in these scenarios.
  7. Footprints on the ceiling is something I never thought I'd learn about firsthand.
  8. Tereu is such a fantastic word.
  9. The poem only gets like [in Just-] when Klaus starts succin. I wanted his sexual excitement to somehow affect the poem, and in a way, it shatters it, fragments it, focuses it on the most specific, yet blunt descriptions, and also shows how Klaus is looking this way and that, his mind wandering even in a moment like this (it could be paranoia) - such as when he spotted the raccoon on the windowsill.
  10. The part that begins with "It's midnight and..." is the moment after his orgasm. This is an important moment, but I didn't want to happen in the words - it occurs between lines, between the words, suddenly, powerfully, but it does not last. The fleeting euphoria of what Klaus is doing, compared to everything else that is brought out, is a nice contrast. Also not mentioned is that your back can get sore for a day or two after if you were really straining hard, so yeah, that could be relevant.
  11. The last line is rather sly, of course, perhaps too cheeky in how it goes about it, but one must remember that there's nothing worse than a cat meowing incessantly in the deep of night, and if you were Klaus, fully spent and such, you'd let him out too.

This is one of two stories in The Big Book of Very Important Things that I think has actual quality to it, so woohoo, I got to pat myself on the back again. Great job!


<---- Part 119.6

Part 119.8 ---->


The KidVegeta Anthology
1: Were It So Easy2: Ground Up3: So Lonely At The Top4: Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem5: Sixth6: Slaved7: Womanhood8: A Mother's Love9: Derelict10: Dragonball KC11: The Redacted Scenes12: Dragon Ball Z: Cold Vengeance (Original draftFinal draft)13: Spindlerun: The Tale of Yajirobe14: The Anonymous Series15: Speedball16: Second-best17: Strength18: Separator19: Skulk20: Soup21: Scelerat22: Serial23: Slick24: Sovereign25: Dragonball lies in the old hat26: Ode to Dodoria27: Bitterly Bothered Brother28: KidVegeta's Theogony: From Silence to the Greater Kais‎‎29: Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten (29.1 Prince Vegeta Saga29.2 Outbreak: Paved In Blood29.3 Lauto Saga29.4 Stomping Grounds Saga29.5 Planet Earth Saga29.6 Reunion Saga29.7 Forever Alone29.8 Fulfillment Saga29.9 Characters29.10 Who Are The Forgotten?29.11 Miscellaneous Information)30: Sink to the Bottom31: Bluestreaker32: Lionheart33: From Magic to Monsters34: Tyrant35: Be a Man36: Brave37: Yellow38: Sleep39: Prideful Demons Black40: The Watcher41: The Perfect Lifeform42: Ain't No Hero43: Dragon Ball: The Great War44: Glory45: Monster46: Burning Man47: Bonetown Blues48: Ergo Sum49: Suicide Missionary50: We'll Never Feel Bad Anymore51: Before Creation Comes Destruction52: Midnight City53: A Soundless Dark54: Scourge55: The Ballad of Dango56: Zarbon and Dodoria: A Love Story57: Thank the Eastern Supreme Kai for Girls58: A Shadow on the Wind59: I'm a Candy Man60: Down the Well-Worn Road61: Cool Cat62: Starfall63: Crushing Blue64: Black Dawn65: The Great Sushi-Eating Contest66: The Adventures of Beerus and Whis...IN SPACE!‎‎67: The Guacamole Boys Hit the Town‎‎68: Fin69: Nowhere to Go70: Not So Far71: Ice Age Coming72: Small73: Shame74: Untouchable75: A Demon Tale: Running Gags and Memes: The Movie76: Superior77: He's a Baaad Man78: Sandboys79: This is a contest story 80: A Space Christmas Story81: The One Where Bulma Goes Looking For Goku's Dragon Balls82: The Ginyu Force Chronicles83: Country Matters84: Chasing Oblivion85: Bardock's Some Hot Space Garbage and You're a Cuck86: The Story Without Any Cursing Except For This One Fuck And It's In The Title or (Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll Except Without Any Of The Sex)87: A Flap of the Wings88: Broccoli Tail89: Black as Blood90: Bi Arm or the One Where Baby is Actually A Rich Man or the Last One Of All the BYARMS91: One Chop Man92: Girl93: Twelve Majestic Lies94: Spaceball95: The Monster and the Maiden96: Mountain Bird97: A Quest for Booty98: Yaki the Yardrat's lecherous crime cartel, can Jaco and Strabbary stop it?99: Across the Universe100: His Majesty's Pet101: Destroyer of Universes102: The One with Several No Good Rotten Space Vermin103: The Scouring of Paradise104: To Kill a God-Emperor105: Extragalactic Containment Protocol106: Appetent Justice107: The Naptime Championships108: Really Big Scary Monsters109: Old Nishi110: He Needs Some Space Milk111: Filthy Monkeys112: The Mortal Flaw113: Leap114: Dyspo Sucks115: The Royal Exception116: Mushin117: Doctor Piggyboy118: The Space Taco Bandit119: The Big Book of Very Important Things (119.1: Why the supreme kai thinks there are only 28 planets in the universe by kidvegeta, esquire119.2: The raisin why supreme kai thinks theres only 28 planets119.3: Supreme kai why do you think there are only 28 planets pls respond119.4: Vegeta: The Tale of Chiaotzu119:5. Sweet Nothings About Cuber by KidVegeta and Destructivedisk119.6: ☉‿⊙119.7: The Part Where He Actually Blows Himself119.8: The truefacts tht hhyperzerling ssahhy119.9: Dragon Ball Supper119.10: A list of people yamcha's been intimate with)120: Memories of a Bloodless Thrall121: Lights of Zalama122: The Deathless Scraps123: Time-Eater124: Dragon Ball: The Mrovian Series: Hidden Memories of Chaiva125: Nineteen Assassins126: Welcome to Rapture127: Bean Daddy128: Zeta Male129: One Word From The Crane130: The Big Ugly131: The Legend of Upa132: Trickster is Meaningless133: Three Foolish Monkeys134: Killing General Copper135: One of Them136: The Swindler137: Softpetal138: How To Act Like a Professional Mercenary139: Insatiable140: The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization141: Dragon Ball: Heart of the Dragon142: The Last Saiyan (141.1 Skyscrapers/Cloudchasers142.2 Roshi142.3 Edge Of The World142.4 Hail to the Thief142.5 Long Road Home)143: Community Roleplays (143.1 Dragon Ball: Future Imperfect (2nd Saga)143.2 No Way Out143.3 Vacation143.4 Cool Runnings143.5 What Role Will You Play?)144: Deleted Stories (144.1 Dragon Ball: Short Story Project)145: Final Thoughts
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