This is the oldest story in The Big Book of Very Important Things. It's one of the main reasons I made that story, as for the longest time, I wasn't sure what to do with ☉‿⊙. If I hadn't made that collection, ☉‿⊙ would have probably been deleted at some point.
Anyways, I wrote this one on July 14, 2013, from about 4:15 pm - 5:02 pm. It was written very quickly after I returned home from an appointment at the dentist. It was entirely written on wikia - I didn't make a word or google doc for it. I felt buzzed from the dental anesthesia or whatever I had been given, and that was the inspiration for the story.
I made TUN a co-writer, but he did not write a word of this story. The "☉‿⊙" smiley came from epicmafia.com, and I think it's a smiley of Plank from Ed, Edd n Eddy. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I dunno. Anyways, that's all the relevant information I can think of, so onto the endnotes!
Story[edit | edit source]
chapert 1: rivers Cuomo is a stupid guy for pretending only in dreams is all deep. also say it ain't so[edit | edit source]
one upon a time i saw chiaotzu and he turned into a dancing leprechaun and then i got hard and fucked him and made some cheese. then we went to go see the crane hermit and he sent us back in time or some shit but i don't remember because yamcha was drunk and then we died but it was the past and everyone went back to the future.
- This section was a parody of the horrific fanon character Cheese mixed with a parody of the premise of A Front, which was written by DD.
- The undercurrent parallelism between Rivers Cuomo and DD was intentional.
chapter 2: the return![edit | edit source]
At this point, KV was waiting for TUN on chat to write more chapter but Tun didn't come on chat. So then after chiaotu had a child named cheese even though he's a man midget, I believe that was when we had our first fight. Cheese was a growing girl, and she had aged very well (peter dinklage was proud of her for putting up with the vampire baby). She fought against King Buu and King Broly but King Broly survived with his fake kamikaze, which only fake killed himself. Then years later, bRoly came back to fight her. Cheese was ready this time, since Tien had been teaching her through telepathy to fight and beat any Broly who would come knocking at the door. Broly grabbed Chiaoztu and ripped his head off. This caused Cheese to get made and go Super Saiyan because she had Super Saiyan genes from being pregnant with Goten the 4th. The Broly went Legendary Super Saiyan 3 and did the eraser gun but cheese dodged and when "kyaa!" with a flying kick into his massive abs. Broly was like 15 feet tall like in raging blast 2 where he's huge compared to everyone else. then she flipped over him and did a "kapung" hit to his adams apple causing him to cough up some breakfast. She held his mouth shut and he died like that fucking piece of shit joffrey.
- This is again more parodying of the Cheese character. God I hate that shitty character.
- Broly vs. Goten in Raging Blast 2 was always a bitch for both players, due to the size difference of the player models.
- This part got a lot more graphic than I remember. Went from 0 to 100 really quickly there, eh, KV?
chapter 3: summary of A Front[edit | edit source]
Krillin: He's a warrior, a lover, a husband. But most imprtaontly he's a human. That means he needs to get a job in an office. So he grows his hair to become passable in public and then he's sitting in his office doing the rubber pencil and hating his job like any self respecting American. He sees the furry bot get annihilated and goes to save it but then this other one cuts him up and david is the bad guy. He likes to record thoughts on tapes which is just stupid because he won't listen to them ever again. he's like any parent recroding their child's recital or whatever. Then king furry dies and that was the biggest plot twist because somehow he needs to come back. he had a will that somehow got rewritten but that took like 1000 words to explain which was too much for somethingas boring as that. krillin keeps fighting the furry bots and he gets cut, and it probably ruins his office suit thing. He can't kill them because they are tied to humans in a spiritual bond similar to krillin's love of the android pussy. yamcah is in the sand and piccolo is there too. David gets mad, and realizes people want arts and crafts and says "how's this for arts and crafts?! nananana!" then he takes the dragon balls and madly makes meteors come shooting down and chi chi gets stuck under her house (that part was so dumb). david kills krillin because the plot demands it. he suffers so much to become a human again but his warrior tendancies get him killed. It's the tragic part which is why I like that story.
- This is by far my favorite part of this story.
chapter 4: nirvana[edit | edit source]
I want to go to nirvana, it seems like it would be sparkley, and those guys are very sexual and I need that in my life. Also, it's wearing off, but I swear I can sing Perfect Situation incredibly right now.
- The more I've learned about Buddhism, the less respect I have for its tenants, so no more nirvana for KV, no sir. Also, it's true that I was able to sing "Perfect Situation" by Weezer quite well at the time. I distinctly remember that.
Endnotes[edit | edit source]
I quite like the third chapter, and the overall structure is rather like what Dragon Ball Supper became, although this story is much less ambitious. Still, it's good enough to keep around, I think.
<---- Part 119.5
Part 119.7 ---->