The Anonymous Series was an improvised story written in collaboration with Destructivedisk. We were both under the influence of alcohol while writing it. He claims that the first chapter was written a day before the rest of the story, but my memory of it is that we wrote all of it in one day. However, this wasn't correct either. We wrote the first three chapters in one day, the next two about two weeks later, and the final two eleven days after that. Since I don't have as easy access to alcohol as him, I wasn't able to write these stories as often as we would have liked. If I remember correctly, I took 10 shots; 6 of rum, and 4 of bourbon the first time, but I don't remember how much I took for the second and third times. I don't remember writing very much of the story, as after reading back on it, only small parts seem familiar.
As for the story, it wasn't originally planned to be a series. Destructivedisk was just going to write about some Super Saiyan Tien action after seeing a picture of that glorious character. After getting wasted, myself, I proceeded to write chapter 2. And then, we alternated for some time until reaching chapter 7. At that time, we agreed it was long enough, and we'd written all that we could.
Chapter 1: Power of the Third Eye
(Written by Destructivedisk)
hefollowing is a what iff story in which chaiotzu attended the Cell Games.
“Gohan, you have angere me to the last nerve!” Cel arked, angry and ready to pounce. He was ready o kill Gohan and all of his friends.
“You’re gorgetting one thing; I’m my father’s son!” Gohan responded, knowing he was stronger than Cell and he would fight to the end.
Suddenly, Cell’s tail reamed open and grefw to an amazing size. It opened so wide that even a horse couldn’tfit insinde. He released a whole army of cell Jr.s and then he told them to attack the Z Fighters.
First they went for Tien. He used his tri-beam attack and it stalled the Cell Jr. He waited for the Cel Jr to recover and get closer to Tien but then Tien kciekd him away He then charged after the Celll r and punched him. The Cel Jr. lay in teh ground and didn’t get up no more.
Nex ta cell jr kicked Kril Krllinlin. few off and wa dead though. He got up and fired offa a amehahmeha and it hit hte cell jr but didn’t too much. He was out of ki after this so he feell back down and wasn;t cool no more.
Next, two cell Jr.s attacked Piccolo. He was going to hurt him bad and wouldn’t take no for an answer. The Cells hit Piccolo square in teh face but didn’t even leave a scratch. He took the by the skulls and smashed the two’s faces against each other. His extra long arms made him a fantastic fighter.
The Cekk Jr.s then decided to go for the weakest fighter there; Chiaotzu! He was going to pay big time for showing up there. He tried to use his psychic powers but they didn’t work!He thre rocks at them bu they dodged his attacks. He threw punches at them but they dodges his attacks. They were at eye level with Chiaotzu and one Cell Jr. came and stranged Chiaotzu. He went blue from lack of xygen and fell over and died. It was sad.
Tien saw this and got really mad. he powered up really hard and suddenly his eyebrows turned golden! His eyes turned teal! It was insane! He had become a super saiyan!
“Whoa Tien I thought only saiyans could become super saiyan!” said Krillin
“Yeah, I thought so too but guess not. I mean we never really knew for sure and King Kai came up with the name super saiyan so I guess other races can go super saiyan after all.” Tien Responded
ThenTien got down to business. His power was now 50X greater! He got up and ran over to Cell and punched him in the face! Ceell was like “ow!” and tien said
“There’s awlays someone cooler than you! now die!”
He mad his hands a triange and yelled out “tribeam!” He fired off his tri-beam that was now 50X more poerful. It hurt hima lot inside but he knew it was worthless. He kepy on doing this until evey cell in cell was destroyed. Suddle Cell wad ead but Tien died too because of using tri-beam too much.
“No tien!” yelled out Gohan who went super saiyan 2 and killed the Cell Jr/s. However, Goku no longer had to die and everything was better.
- I had come up with the idea for a Super Saiyan-esque human in one of my earlier stories, Dragon Ball IP, wherein I included the form of Super Human.
- This chapter was written with no humorous intentions. Consider that for a moment.
- The part about the Cell Jr.'s not leaving a scratch on Piccolo was influenced by both Dragonball KC and Dragon Ball EG.
- Tien offers a plausible, if highly unlikely, explanation for how he went Super Saiyan. Truthfully, we do not know if only Saiyans can go Super Saiyan, because the name really was invented by King Kai... but, honestly, it's really stupid to assume otherwise.
- "There's always someone cooler than you" is a reference to There's Always Someone Cooler Than You by Ben Folds.
Chapter 2: The PerfecT Super Saiyan Sword Master Cold
(Written by Me)
Then Cell died. He went straight to hell where Frieza and King Cold and Jeice were. The blue ogre put Cell in the jail with the bmecause he was bad from Tien's death. So then the were in the jail cell and cell was calling up frieza about the hacks of super saiyan. They nodded, and then King Cold was sitting there. He had told them the idea he got.
"Well sice Vegeta had Tien have it we can too."
King Cold stood up and had alook in his eyes to make the others his bad guys. They were all standing around him when he stood up with his cape and wine in his hand and his lazy eyes looking about. He told them how he had been here thinking and watching Super Saiyan and now he knew how todo it for himself. the little guy Zarbon got batted out of the way when King Cold grunted his aura of yellow purple and gold incinerating more than a handful of them.
He was grunting and moaning like a bitch in heat when it happened. King Cold's class forehead turned golden and his spikes turned into two long flecks of gold hair with many little strands poking out to make them look like more. He grew ten times his size and fifty times his powerful.
"No fair ofather. I want the monkey's power legend." Frieez said with his tail jumping about like an annoyed cat.
Kind Cold kicked Frieza waay, "Listen to me, you piece of shit, you mess with me again I'll cut you in half."
Then King Cold went to purgatory because Tien was in heaven and he had to get there. IT was like stairs. Tien died when his power was maximum. Now he went ot heaven since Ymma had notied he was nice to the clown all the years.
Tien heard of the King Super saiyan where he had become one with the power of all hell. Tien rippedo ff his heaven swaddling clothes and shirt. It was time to get serious and beat this guy.
"Don't step closer!" he yelled at King Cold who was almost up the stairs.
"No! I am the new Super Saiayn with powers greater than you!" the Coldian screamed.
This meant WAR!!! Tien threw down the hammer on King Cold and dodged him with a double flip kick repeater. Cold re educated him with his sword of hell fire. He took a sip of Merlot before swinging the sword around and trying to cut Tien. He made a pretty X mark on Tien's old scar.
"Oh thanks, now it's complete" the three eyed man said with a laugh.
King whipped his hair back and forth to Tien's face making him angry because he's bald.
"We are a strong people said tien trying to defend his baldness. But only king cold was here not the other bald people.
SS Clld had about three energy blasts he shot but the heit Tien back and without thinking he took the sword and charged him like yajirobe did with cymbal with that one really cool move but it didn't work because Tien was a Super Saiyan too even though his hair had gone far away. Then Kind Cold tried to pick up his up the sword but Tien was too fast.
"Haha got you!"
And tribeam made and it stalled King Cold untl he had enough eenergy to make the one latst spirit bomb. Tien tried to hold it, but he was pushed back until they were both in purgatory. King Cold jumped over top of him and said "Sayanora" because he spoke japanese and Tien was dead again (double).
King Cold had another mission to do and it was to get Ymma away so he could get all his bad guys out of hell. The ogers began mobilizing an army to get him while Yemma telephoned Goku to come rescue them.
"But Yemma I'm busy," Goku explained.
"Goku it's serious!" Yemma said pounding his desk.
"Don't worry, I'll save them!" said the mysterious figure in black.
Endnotes by KidVegeta:
- The name of this chapter was reference to a poll at the time asking users about their favorite sword-wielder. Most people picked King Cold (who never really used one) so that became the chapter name.
- ""No fair ofather. I want the monkey's power legend." Frieez said with his tail jumping about like an annoyed cat.
Kind Cold kicked Frieza waay, "Listen to me, you piece of shit, you mess with me again I'll cut you in half."" is my favorite quote in the chapter.
- The clown is obviously Chiaotzu
- Tien ripping off his clothes is something I often reference, as it seems like every time he fights, he tends rip off his shirt.
- The use of Coldian is a reference to the Remembered Coldians by SuperSaiyian11.
- "This meant WAR!!!" is a reference to TeamUnitedNerds, who at one time had a character's quote as that.
- Cold giving Tien an X on his old scar and Tien thanking him for completing it is a reference to me, because I am often quite a completionist, and I've long wanted the Tien scar to be filled out.
- "King whipped his hair back and forth" is a reference to Whip My Hair by Willow Smith.
- "We are a strong people" is a reference to Lord of the Rings: The Battle For Middle Earth rts video game. In it, the faction Rohan has a unit called villagers, and upon clicking on them, sometimes they will say that quote.
- The Tribeam stalling was a reference to Tien's only use in the Cell Sagas.
- The use of Spirit Bomb is mocking the overuse and general uselessness of the move.
- Cold's speaking Japanese is a reference to Raging Blast 2, where several characters say Sayoonara randomly.
- Goku being busy was written because I'm tired of stories about Goku.
- The mysterious man was never given a persona by me. I had no idea who to make it, so I left that up to Destructivedisk.
Chapter 3: The Mysterious Hooded Man!
(Written by Destructivedisk)
The hooded hero flung off his mask! his hair was white and he was mustacehed. he was ,Mutaito the original pracitcier of the Turlte Fighting Style! Itw as amazing to see him there. He said “I can take care of a motherfucking coldian.” hen, his character;s epicness rose to such ane xtreme level that his hair turned gold! He ahad become 50X CMutaito! It was amszing.
However, he said “U will need help though. Just my moves alone will not be enough. I can’t do this by myselelef!” he said. then, double dead Tien came and said, “my power may be half now but that doesn’t maean i’m no good! Yeaaah!” he went seuper= saiyan and then Mutatio and Tien went off to fight Cell.
They were on the satiarway to heaven when they cae across yemma. He was in a stranglehold from Cell who snapped his neck. “Hhaha, everyone, get ready for all the bad guys to come!”
“You monster!” tien said
“You monster” Mutaito said at the same tie.
They charged at hum ut he was to fast for their weak attacks. He used his saiyan zenkai and became 1.5 times cell. He fired a special beam cannon at them, to which they both used kamehameha.
Whoa where’d you learn that?” tien asked?
“I created it! har har har” Mutatiot responded. His mustache tingled with elight.
They son found that 1.5 Cell was too much for the,. Furthermore, he had just created like 50 cell jr.s, and they were all as strong as id bu, so it was tmie for some requiem. Tien used his thirdeye attack and saw everything and hit eit all. However, all the villains were on earthnow and they were attacking the preganant chichi! Krillin stopped them with his kienzan.
Suddenly, Goku appeared! When he saw that tien wasd ouble dead, he went super saiyan 2! It was incredible. ighting was everywhere the stairway to heaven nearly blew up. they got ready ot attack at the same time but Goku said “hi mutaito long time no see” first. Mutato didn’t remember because filler.
They all fired their special beam cannon at the same time. It was amazingbecause 1.5 times cell countered it with his own special beam canon. Alls eemed to be lost! Je came and punched them all read hard in the face and made them look plain silly. they didn’t know what to do!
Suddenly, clown man showed up! I twas floating clown man! He said “you didn’t forget about did you? Well here I am and I discovered a new form!!” and then he went Might Human, which is where you become way stronger but only if you are a human. He fired a dodon ray and Cell died through his heart.
However, all the vilains of hell escaped? How will the living z figheters handle this tricky situation? Find out next time on The Anonymous Series!
- This is one of the few instances of Mutaito that I've ever seen in fanon.
- The name coldian is derived from the terrible fanfiction, Dragon Ball: The Remembered Coldians.
- The line "I can't do this by myselelef" is a reference to the song, Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over by Fall Out Boy.
- Stairway to Heaven is a reference to the song of the same name by Led Zeppelin. It was also referenced in A Sprint to the Top.
- "so it was time for some requiem" is a reference to Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem.
- Might Human's name is taken from Flute: The Legendary Namekian, in which there is a form known as Might Namek.
Chapter 4: Does It Look Like A Dish?
(Written by Me)
King cold was beating up ymach and ox king with the help of ymma.they were desparate for victory. then king cold who was ss by now went and gone super namek, which required yamcha to fuse with puar creating puucha puucha had the force of a thousand super saiyans and then stayed away king cold, who went back to hfil. Aft that ther was a great rucus where the new villain emerged. It couldn't be king cold since he went bac k oh hell but dishmaster supreme. He had a bitchface and a half inch penis and they called him dishmaster supreme.
"this mess. didja miss me?" he said in a deep boice with trying to be all cool, but he was only makeing a joke on himself.
the yemma and yamcha and others all gathered for the fight whic hwas going to be very hard and grueling. then puuamcha said "I'll fight him myself" and the others agreed so puuchar fought him himself. and they fought in a blaze of glory while yamcah threw dishes at dishmaster and dishmaster expertly cleaned them and put them in a neat pile in the corner. Dishmaster was unstoppable, his power was maximum. yamcha couldn't keep up and the dishes were all getting cleaned. Yamcha slipped on some bubbly water on the floor and it sent him down to the ground where Dishmaster Supreme had his way with him, which included beating him up. but thendishamster got lazy and let yamcha go and ymma came up behind him and hit dishmaster over the head with a frying pan. the bitchaface was knocked out cold! The good guys win!
but wait, there's more. The next villain came up and his name was galorius holious from the andromada galaxy where he was feared by some. he had a super high power level out of nowhere, and they didn't sense it before but they did now. he landed and blew up Yemma and his desk and all the other ogres leaving only poor vide l to clean up the mess. Too bad Dishmaster was already dead because the dishes got spilled when gh came. Tune in next time for the next graat episode of the anonyomous series.
Endnotes by KidVegeta:
- The chapter title is a reference to Pulp Fiction, with the classic line of "Does he look like a bitch?!".
- Puucha is the strongest character in the story, and is much stronger than the later fusion of Yamcha and Puar called Yamchuar.
- Yamcha and Puar fuse the most times out of everybody in this fanon.
- Dishmaster Supreme is based on the awesome political candidate, Vermin Supreme.
- Dishmaster Supreme is based on Hyper Zergling. Thus, the description of his face and penis are highly accurate.
- " He had a bitchface and a half inch penis and they called him dishmaster supreme." is my favorite line in this story.
- Dishmaster Supreme is named so because Hyper Zergling often has to "brb dishes".
- "Didja miss me" is a reference to Halo, particularly the Master Chief, which Hyper Zergling loves.
- Dishmaster's power being maximum is a reference to a newspaper article about kids' favorite super heroes. One kid put Broly, and his explanation being that Broly's power was indeed maximum.
- "but wait, there's more." - is a double reference. On the one hand, it references the classic line from most infomercials. On the other, it references unlimated, who at one point posted a similar notice on one of his chapters. Such a thing was also referenced in Dragonball KC.
- galorius holious is based on the phrase glory hole, though in a much fancier way.
- gh having a power level coming out of nowhere is mocking most fanons where villains come out of nowhere.
- Videl would have to clean it all up because she's a woman.
- The 'tune in next time' part is a reference to Dragon Ball Z itself, and, to a lesser extent, the terrible fan fictions (generally very old ones) which employ this tactic.
Chapter 5: The Happenings On Earth
(Written by Destructivedisk)
EANWHIL, ON EARHT
the villainswere attacking the earth because Yemma hda been mikilled leatting them all to reigh ferre.. Krillin was holding them off with his kienzans but it wsas no good at all. Tien and Chiaottzu were dead and so was goku so it wa stime for the rest of the planet to picthc in oro once. That was the important thing. to be with faily.
King Piccolo ran aroub and shot beams at things and was ready t destroy the wolrd with his spawsn when r. Satan came and used his sdyamaite kick on hick. King Piccolo’s lips swelleded up real big and he fell to thre ground. The he ate r. Satan whole and r stan used his sdyanite ove inside of him and they blew up together and it was really cool because r.piccolo died.
Next raditsz was attacking stan city. Yamchuar returned form his fight with king cold to fight off Raditz who was as strong as a saibamen. Yamcha said, “grr I leoost yo you once, but not again! I am the real slim yamcha!” Then he went super saiyan yamchuar who was 50000 times as powereful as a super saiyan. He used his spirit ball and he exploded himself and Raditz in an epic fight to he biteter end.
Finally, there weas nappa. Picoolo had to go fight heim. He used his extra stretchy larms techniques to grab Na-ppas bald spot and pull him away. He used his explosive fire demon breath to kill him and then Piccolo laughed as Nappa was burnt to a crisp bhy his breat. No body beliveed it but the great Raidtiz had been defeated!
Freiza had survived it but krillin’s kiensan was ineffective. broly, janemba, and frieza cae to attack Vegeta. He just used his big bang storm and went super saiyan and kiklled them becsides Janemba. Bakura appeared and was intimidating. he was ready to entrap vegeta in his pyramid. It was so cool. vegeta just went up ato him and punched him through the stpmach. janeb=mba fjust ran way because her ealized the raw power of Vegeta. VEgeata was angry about this and went might human.
It was intense. Everyone there loved. What will happen in the otherworld? It will surely be epic.
- At one point, a fight between Satan and King Piccolo was planned for Dragon Ball IP. This was eventually cut, along with many other fights. A similar fight appears in this chapter.
- Yamchuar is a fusion between Yamcha and Puar. I don't think this is ever actually explained in the story.
- "the real slim yamcha" is a reference to Eminem's alias, "The Real Slim Shady".
- Including Bakura was a reference to Dragon Ball: Yami, a terrible fanfiction which included Yu-Gi-Oh characters.
- Vegeta is the first non-human to go Might Human. It makes very little sense.
Chapter 6: Then picolo makesj a save
(Written by Me)
Super Saiyan piccoo took over for the fight and king cold couldn't do against him when he started powering up. Piccolo went super saiyan and he was fighting the bad guy who was the ogre infused iwth a drop of yemma/slash janemba who was known as the supreme, dismahsmaster supreme. He had about fifty power level and now he had him. Oiccilo had fused with other namekins wiht the powers of his grandfather namlss namkein sent him to earth to fuse iwth namkeina kami now. /He was a supersiayn namekd 4 and he fought against cell took over yemma king kai and old kai to majin form and he spoke the little curly m went on their heads and they wer e bad.
vegeta fused with gohku gohan and gotenks and then he went super saiyan 2. now vegeta killed taio that stupid motherfucker and he saw that the new piccolo super saiyan had the golden ahir on his antena. He got buff like ultra trunks and screamed, causing the space time continuum to blow up. then the human centipede crawled ian nad Piccolo had his toughest opponent yet.
They were fighting but the centipede's power level was impressively 105. Still dishmaster surpeme came back, so krillin couldn't kill him with his yajirobe sword but spare him for the fate of the universe
"I am a good guy now and didja miss me" he said, lowin his voice til it sounds lime when they do screamo music and scream and it's awful.
piccolo and dishy were fighting the centipede unitl the first one took his hand and blew himself up but the centipede grew longer. still he had about 4 more pople and about 5 peopl avfter that who were using their energy to creat teh spirit bomb of sage, parsley and thyme
"not so fast!" picli scried and made his arms long as those socks that go up to your knes and he grabbed the spirit bomb them blew it up and dishmaster got some bounty shield to protect the ogod guys from the blast when tehy were sfved.
Survive? Well, yeah they did they always do. see next time on the anonymous series!!
The end (or is it?!)
Endnotes by KidVegeta:
- "vegeta killed taio that stupid motherfucker " is an obvious reference to the character Taio, created by TeamUnitedNerds.
- The Human Centipede is based on the movie of the same name.
- Dishmaster Supreme saying "Didja miss me" again, continues the Master Chief reference.
- Krillin killing the Human Centipede with Yajirobe's sword is a reference to the end of the Saiyan Saga where Krillin almost did the same to Vegeta.
- "teh spirit bomb of sage, parsley and thyme" is a reference to the song and album by Simon and Garfunkel. However, I did not put the rosemary part in.
- Piccolo's arms were being compared to pantyhose in the second to last paragraph.
- I honestly have no idea what a bounty shield is.
- However, Dishmaster using some kind of shield to protect his allies is a reference to the Wrath of the Dragon movie.
- The part about the heroes always surviving is great commentary on how, truly, nothing in the Dragon Ball universe ever ends too badly. Everyone usually survives, and those few who don't are always wished back anyway.
- The bit of drama at the end was used to make it seem like maybe they didn't all survive even though I had just said they did. Honestly, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I was drunk.
- Of my three chapters, after reading back to do commentary, this is the only one I have absolutely no memory of writing.
Chapter 7: The End
(Written by Destructivedisk)
One occasionally has to wonder "what if chiatozu had not attended teh cell gams"? Well, none of gthi souwld have happened. Dishmaster Supremen woudl hnot have appaeard thna dcell pick0olo king coll and chiaotzu no super frors.s chiatozy no sumper human and king cold and piccolo no super saiyan but luckily this didn;t haopene because chiaotzu did attend the clel games which was good bc this entire fanons about that idea.
Dishmaster Supreme said "fck huou " picoolo qne 3f346on3 qwnt majin super saiyan and tehy fused to gether to make "kridishmasterdijamissmepiclikugetatenkuhandknsencha" abd tget used their attacks but itw as no use against the human centipede, who'sen power level was 105. It was no use! Everyone failed to hurt the human ceptipede ho was very strong. It was awesomet o watch like firweworks.
All the villains then fused trogether. It was incredibe. Freiza and cell and the human centipede and cell jr and nappa and frieza and raidtz and piccolo jr and even pilaf jr fusdd together. It was the msot bastarddyl foe to ever grace the earth. It hjad and unbeileveable powerlevel of 210. It was twicemniof just normal human centipede.
Dishmaster supreme said "fuck this, I'm washing dishes" and ten he awlke d awfa to wash dishes but his disk was half of a normal dick even that of a `54 yrear odl because hew as asian and neve rpopped no pussy but we love him ofor who he is,
Suddenly, Kirllin realized whaqt had to be done! He wentnsuper namek 3 to life, his power increasing a million times fold. Nobody believedit. Piccolo went super human 2 fir = the furst time of anyone ever and it was just incredible. Nobbody belived t, They ued their "hellzone destructive disk" to rain down a trillion destructo disk and it killed the villain fusion.
ChiChi cried many tears. roshi read many pornos and had much fun masturabted. oolong laughed and transofrmed into dabura
- "picoolo qne 3f346on3 qwnt" has absolutely no translation to coherency or any other language for that matter.
- "kridishmasterdijamissmepiclikugetatenkuhandknsencha" is a reference to Dragonball Fusion, a story in which an absurdly high number of characters fuse together to form "hero".
- Dishmaster Supreme is based upon Hyper Zergling. That is why his penis is so small.
- Krillin going Super Namek 3 indicates the first time that a human would take on a Super Namek transformation.
- The final paragraph is a reference to the final segment of Dragon Ball IP, in which Chi-Chi cries.
There isn't a lot to say about this story. Since we were wasted while writing it, we obviously wrote a majority of this to be funny. I referenced a lot of things that I had known at the time, such as a reference to Vermin Supreme, by having his cousin, and using the Human Centipede. Some references surprised even me, such as the BFME one, and the Willow Smith one. Being how drunk I was, I am surprised I was able to reference such things.
The stories themselves are quite funny, and remind me a lot of KC. However, I wasn't intentionally making them as bad as I was with KC. Sure, there was no spell-check, and I typed it without looking at the screen, but it wasn't the same as satire. I was just trying to make something that would entertain myself and Destructivedisk. Because of this, I don't really see this as a story, but more of an experience. The Anonymous Series was written only for its writers, not for any audience, so I cannot give it a rating.
<---- Part 13
Part 15 ---->