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Tail Don't Lie was the first story I worked on during the second thrust of Somewhere Between The Ocean and The Bottom of This Glass. It was an early idea—one I had had since the days before I Wouldn't Want to Be a Fish Right Now had been completed. Indeed, before starting my rewatch of Dragon Ball Z, four out of the six ideas had already been chosen (Tail Don't Lie, Chi-Chi's Got Talent, Feeding Time, and Divine in Maturity). I had wanted to do this one during the 14 one-shot collection, but there had simply been no room for it, and it would in fact require a rewatch of the series with it specifically in mind to be done properly.
I didn't know the answer to "what was the moment Bulma fell in love with Vegeta?", and of course there is no single one moment, but there is that first true spark—and that's what I was looking for. As I watched through Dragon Ball Z, I catalogued a variety of scenes and quotes that I wanted to utilize in the dream sequence section. I compiled more notes for this story than for any other in the collection. These notes are fairly interesting to me, and unless I post them here, they will be deleted, so what the hell:
10/23/21 notes:
- bulma first saw vegeta as a great ape; she later saw him fighting gohan, with kid gohan putting up a good effort (she didn't see very much of his fight on earth)
10/25/21 notes:
- bulma collapses in fear when krillin mentions vegeta's name in episode 44, at around 15:40
- 7:20 into episode 49, Bulma is in a bath, she should think of vegeta before calling her father i think
10/26/21 notes:
- THE BULMA/VEGETA/ZARBON SCENE HAPPENS FROM EPISODES 56-57; Bulma is attracted to Zarbon, and calls him her hero as Vegeta fights for his life against him 5 minutes into #57;
- vegeta meets bulma for the first time ~18:00 into episode 56 of dbz
- "And I wouldn't attempt to escape with it, either, because if you tried something like that, the sniveling girl behind you would suffer the consequences. Now hand over that ball." [then, Zarbon enters in a glorious aerial flip] - first time Vegeta addresses Bulma ---> vegeta, unlike goku, knew bulma was a girl at first glance, so a bit of hngggh going on there amirite?
- Bulma thinks Zarbon is extremely attractive even in episode 56, she never has such a visceral reaction to Vegeta, so her attraction to him has to come from somewhere else for the main pulses
57 stuff:
- 5:40 into it, Vegeta rains ki down upon Krillin and Bulma; had a single drop hit, Vegeta would've killed Bulma; she sees the wall of plasma
- Bulma thinks Zarbon becomes a monster in his second form and discards the idea of dating him
- Vegeta punches zarbon in the back, shattering his armor (13:25), and Bulma is shocked
- at 18:15 into #57, Vegeta leads into the line: "Don't worry. I don't think you'll be around long enough to see what happens to her." - this definitely should make her wet, if not cum
- Bulma is smart enough to realize that Vegeta could've killed them in #57; he chose to order Krillin to hand over the Dragon Ball instead, showing him softening up and also showing preference to Bulma at this early stage
10/27/21 notes:
- Bulma dreams of Vegeta in the beginning of episode 59, so use that as a frame
- in Episode 61, ~16:00 in, Bulma sees that Krillin and Vegeta are working together as they take the 4 star Namekian Dragon Ball from her
10/30/21 notes:
- have the second scene, after she wakes up, involve her going downstairs and seeing a bottle of midori, which reminds her of the green skies and oceans/lakes of Namek, where she first came face-to-face with her lover
11/1/21 notes:
- Scene 1: dream melding the first time she saw vegeta with the first time she knew she loved him
- Scene 2: she wakes up, prepares a bath, notices she's dripping wet, and grabs her dildo on her way in
- Scene 3: Bulma meets with her father and gets his pink badman shirt from him, thinking that she'll give it to vegeta
11/9/21 notes:
- in episode 102, 6:53 in, Bulma sees Vegeta for the second time; bulma is frightened and very clumsy around Vegeta here, falling over and hurting herself in panic upon hearing his voice
11/10/21 notes:
- perhaps have her dream feature some of Gohan vs Vegeta (end of episode 106)
- episode 107 is very important here, as it's where Bulma first talks to Vegeta and starts to like him (opening scene); also, with about 3 minutes to go, Bulma reunites with Yamcha ---> should he have any presence in this story?
11/11/21 notes:
- 5:15 into episode 117, Yamcha openly flirts with maron, enraging Bulma (this is the final episode before the Trunks Saga)
- 9:20 into the same episode, Bulma catches Maron trying to seduce Yamcha
- bulma tells yamcha that she dreamed of vegeta and kissed him in that dream in episode 118 ---> PINK SHIRT SAGA STARTS ABOUT 12 MINUTES INTO THIS EPISODE
11/15/21 notes:
- episode 119: Vegeta calls Bulma a stupid woman as she bickers with yamcha at frieza's landing site (trunks saga), but Bulma doesn't seem to have much of a reaction at all, let alone a negative or scared one, so she has already sort of fallen for him by this point
- I originally wanted the story to take place before Frieza's death, but after watching episode 119, I decided to have the story take place afterwards, as Bulma still seems to be with Yamcha, just slightly flirty with Vegeta
- In episode 122, Trunks confirms that Bulma and Yamcha are still dating
- The story must take place before episode 124, as that's when He's a Baaad Man takes place (which is a story after this one in the sequence); additionally, Bulma is already in love with Vegeta as of the start of this episode
scenes to intermingle in the dream:
- Vegeta vs Zarbon
- Vegeta vs Gohan (Earth)
- Vegeta in the pink shirt/showering and calling her a serving woman
- Bulma teaching Goku to shower and learning about his tail ---> this should morph into being Vegeta
- Krillin eyeing her as they fly back to Roshi's ship on a helicopter after escaping from General Blue with the diamond
- One or more scenes with her father (probably that weren't featured in the series)
- a quick Yamcha reference, perhaps indirect ones throughout
- scene with her sister as a young girl reading bulma fairy tales about knights in shining armor
- Vegeta telling the Z Fighters how to wish Goku back to life from Namek, prompting Bulma to thank him for his suggestion
second outline idea:
- Scene 1: dream sequence with various memories overwhelming one another
- Scene 2: Bulma wakes up and prepares a bath, noticing vaginal discharge
- Scene 3: later that night, while working, Bulma does something that rejects Yamcha
That pretty much outlines my entire thought-process leading up to the first draft, which I began the day after my last notes, on November 16, 2021. I began writing at 4:01 am and finished at 4:59 am, making it the ninth story first-drafted (first of the second thrust). The first draft went fairly smoothly because as seen above, I planned the scenes I wanted to intermingle in advance and had quotes or time-stamps in the various episodes ready. This was an unusual first draft to write, as I was constantly switching between a slew of tabs, going from video to video, to copy dialogue word-for-word from certain scenes. So taking that into account, the writing went extremely quickly.
I began editing Tail Don't Lie on December 21, 2021. Editing went slowly that day and the next, but on 12/23/21, I finished the second draft. The third and final draft was completed on 12/24/21. A midday final edit to both this story and In Search of Pork Buns led to this story being finalized before that one on a technicality, but in reality, In Search of Pork Buns had been for the most part edited and completed before I even began editing this story. Either way, it was the tenth story finalized overall.
Anyways, with all that out of the way, let's move on to the endnotes.
Story[]
Canonical dialogue from the Funimation English dub of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z is in bold.
The deeper they drove into the mountains, the bumpier it got. Her parents were shit-talking some reality show bimbo (her father’s limp cigarette dancing around the corner of his mouth as he prattled on) while Tights read aloud from a fairy tale picture book about some knight in shining armor rescuing some lost princess and giving her a…
“And I wouldn't attempt to escape with it, either, because if you tried something like that, the sniveling girl behind you would suffer the consequences. Now hand over that ball,” Vegeta said, flashing his teeth. He hadn’t even needed to pat her down.
Morphing from smoke into his cracked armor, the Saiyan Prince looked more the villain than his pursuer; landing with a graceful flip, the warrior with smooth green skin and long hair, her savior, swore to slay that savage simian for her sake. Giggling, Krillin sniffed the diamond, so she slapped him upside the head. Try as he might, her emerald prince could not vanquish the filthy monkey. Energy rained down around them as he fell from the sky. Her heart was beating madly. The fate of Earth hung treacherously in the balance. Tights’ voice breathlessly continued, barely audible over the hum of the engine.
Bulma would never forget when he transformed into that ghastly monster. The first time it had happened, she had been trapped in Pilaf’s castle. The great ape bellowed, shaking the ajisa trees. She urged Krillin to run. He wouldn’t budge, even after Vegeta swatted the alien aside like a gnat. His eyes, red as rubies, ensnared her in his psychic hold. She began to spiral, the scenery slipping out of sequence, tearing like scraps of paper in a windstorm as the colors dulled to grey.
Krillin may have said something, but she wasn’t paying attention.
“Don't worry. I don't think you'll be around long enough to see what happens to her,” Vegeta scoffed. He had wiped out entire civilizations without breaking a sweat, and yet, he had spared her. A calm befell Bulma, and there again was that old urge to squeeze her legs together.
“Oh, isn’t it a lovely story?” Tights asked, hugging the book to her chest.
“I’m telling you, Bulma, you won’t find a man like him every day. That Vegeta’s tenacious, and handsome to boot!”
“I don’t know, isn’t he somewhat of a lunkhead?” her father quipped. “Seems to me all he’s good at is pummeling those he disagrees with.”
She blinked, and there were Namek’s skies again, the faded green of an aging stoplight. Krillin was begging her to make a run for it.
Cackling, Vegeta punched through the monster’s armor, into his back. “You can bleed us to the brink of death, crush every bone in our bodies–it only makes us more powerful!”
“He’s just like Goku! No matter how much of a brutal beating Vegeta takes, he gets stronger every time that he fights.”
The room was spinning, and the lights flickered twice, and everything pulsed out of place and back in again, but when it did, nothing quite went back together the way it had been before, and the wind was picking up, and it was becoming harder to breathe…
The jeep came to a stop right before the top of the next hill. Her father shrugged, chewing on his ciggy nervously, and asked if she wanted to go any further. Tights and her mother had vanished. If she blinked, she would have lost it.
“Well, dear, I’m afraid I can’t take you any further than this… what do think about going on by yourself?”
“B-by myself? But why, Dad? Can’t you come too?”
As her father exhaled a puff of smoke, his head morphed into a pterodactyl’s. Shrieking, Bulma dove from the car to avoid a peck and fled up the dirt road. By Goku’s house, she found the prince. Blood ran down his forearm; he had firmly lodged his fist in the alien’s stomach.
“Hey, what’s that horrible smell?! Ugh, Goku, you need a bath!”
She hadn’t had any mosquito bites yet that night. He hadn’t heard of a bath before. At least Vegeta’s armor was machine washable.
“Servant woman, bring me a drying cloth at once! Woman, can you hear me?!”
The bathroom was bright and warm. It was just the two of them. The shower door opened. Vegeta’s face cut through the swirling avalanche of steam. Bulma took a step back. He took three steps towards her and unwrapped his tail.
“What in the world? Whoa… How does this thing stay on, kid? I thought it was attached to your pants. What do you do, superglue it to your butt?” She gave it a gentle squeeze.
Vegeta’s hair shot up. “Ow! What are you doing? That hurts!”
His tail took the shower scrubber from her hands and began washing his back with it.
Falling onto her ass, goosebumps spreading over her body, Bulma mumbled, “N-no way, it moves! That means it’s… it’s… real!”
He folded his arms, narrowed his eyes, and was about to say something (assuredly) rude when she felt a tickle of fur brush across her cheek. Gasping softly, the girl blinked and lost her dream.
Though the sun had not yet risen, Bulma awoke with a start. Peeking out her window, she noticed the lights were still on inside the Capsule Corp. spaceship.
“Ugh, the nerve of that Saiyan!”
After making a cup of coffee and preparing a bath, she returned to her room with a towel, glancing at the half-empty bottle of Midori on the desk. Its shade of green reminded her of the skies of Namek, and her vision pulsed, blood rushed to her cheeks, and as she grabbed onto a chair to maintain her balance, fragmented dream memories, sugary and nostalgic, returned with great force.
A sticky liquid that left behind a cold trail of slime slowly slid down her thigh. Without missing a beat, she snagged that little black bag in the back of her panty drawer and marched off to her bath with newfound urgency, her breathing coming sharply, her face flushed.
Endnotes[]
- The name of this story refers to the climax of Bulma's dream where kid Goku morphs into adult Vegeta still with a tail. In the end, some of the canonical quotes I chose hint at Bulma having gained a Saiyan lust from being around Goku (but of course not being attracted to him), and so the fact that Vegeta cannot hide his Saiyanness and her being attracted to its similarity to Goku's personality is also at play.
- In the first six stories, the Dragon Ball batch, Master Roshi was prominent in both the first and last to set a certain tone. This tone was shifted for the Dragon Ball Z era by instead doing that with Bulma and her family (albeit, they are unseen significant characters in In Search of Pork Buns).
- Despite what my notes say, this story almost certainly takes place after episode 124 of DBZ, but before episode 125.
- This is the second story of mine that Tights has appeared in (The One Where Bulma Goes Looking For Goku's Dragon Balls was the first), and the first canon-following one, even if she appears in the form of a distorted dream-memory.
- It was the knight comment that got her thinking of Vegeta. Tights sure is good at painting a picture.
- Krillin sniffing the diamond is one of my favorite things that happens in Dragon Ball, so I had to reference it here. As well, the setting callback is nice, for Kame House, and the surrounding ocean, is prominent in this collection. Beyond that, the fact that Bulma actually stashed that diamond inside her vagina canonically is just magnificent. I'll never get over her doing that. And finally, the direct tie to the diamond plotline in Hard as Diamonds felt thematically strengthening for the collection as a whole.
- "The fate of Earth hung treacherously in the balance." - this little line emphasizes the distortion and degradation of her memories while in the dream-state. A lot of false things are occurring, even if the dialogue is accurate.
- "Bulma would never forget when he transformed into that ghastly monster. The first time it had happened, she had been trapped in Pilaf’s castle." - this marks the first time that Bulma begins to mistake Vegeta for Goku. The lines are blurring together.
- Bikini's comments are based on what she says to Bulma in the living room in episode 124 of DBZ. She loves Vegeta even if the rest of her family doesn't, and I think even if Bulma didn't want to admit it in the moment, she respects her mother's judgment, so deep down (such as, in a dream-state), she knows she's right.
- "She blinked, and there were Namek’s skies again, the faded green of an aging stoplight." - a specific stoplight on my road home from the next town over has a very faded look to it, and it has long reminded me of the Namekian skies. The symbolism of Midori that comes up later is built upon this.
- The Zarbon death scene was something Bulma needed to see again before she could imbibe the Saiyan spirit. It's a way for her to let go of her childish fancies for that lesser warrior. And really, is he all that beautiful, because I'm not seeing it.
- Personally, I think it was when Krillin said Vegeta was just like Goku, but to each their own.
- The pterodactyl is most likely the one that snatched her up in the very first episode of Dragon Ball just down the road from Goku's house.
- "She hadn’t had any mosquito bites yet that night." - I doubt she was a virgin, but people tend to romanticize the past.
- "“Ow! What are you doing? That hurts!” " - in the story, Vegeta says this, but canonically, Goku says it. This is the only instance of a different character saying a canonical line in the entire story, and is the climax of Bulma realizing her attraction for Vegeta has a lot to do with him being a Saiyan.
- I drank a lot of Midori around the time of writing this episode, and I remember buying a celebratory bottle to drink while finalizing the edits. Great stuff. Extremely tasty. Goes best with pineapple juice, methinks.
The thought, research, and execution is on-point. Good balance between cheekiness and restraint. I'm extremely happy with how this one turned out.
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