Slaved was the second and (at one point in my mind) final work of my Brady Patrick account. The writing process was simple: I had to write something short, and I had to write something interesting. For that was the purpose of Brady Patrick. It occurred to me almost as soon as I finished Sixth that although my username was KidVegeta, I had made no kid Vegeta-centric stories. Sure there was the first saga of The Forgotten, but that wasn't really Vegeta's story. After picking kid Vegeta as the point for the second one-shot, I began to formulate ideas on what would be a significant moment for him.
Though it was never mentioned in canon, I think Vegeta would have tried out for the Ginyu Force, at least when he was young. Of course, he'd lose, because he never got on the team. So a defeat was great to write about, being all angsty and stuff. I found it fun to write it without the reader knowing who it was until the last lines of the story. Of course, after knowing it was Vegeta, re-reading the story made a lot of subtle nuances come out. The play between Zarbon and Vegeta is where the name comes from. Zarbon and Vegeta always seemed to hate each other, and it felt like they were two little children vying for the favor of a relative (Frieza), but with one child (Zarbon) having power over the other (Vegeta). Vegeta's time with Frieza was not a good point in his life, as he had remarked on Namek that Frieza made him evil. So I spent a lot of time making the whole situation awful for him, like everything was conspiring against him.
The writing itself went quickly, and I don't recall it taking more than a day or so. I remember talking to Destructivedisk one day, and he was talking to me about Sixth, and I mentioned how I was already almost done with a second one-shot, which was Slaved. Slaved was made without any stimuli; no TV, no music; it was written in silence with my full concentration. I don't tend to do that much, but because of the length, it worked out for this story.
The bell sounded. The lights dimmed. The halls emptied. They left, all of them, one by one and single file; with no look, no talk, no comfort. They left me there, in my sweat and my blood and my humiliation to be alone. I didn’t move. I couldn‘t. My ankle was broken; I felt the piece of bone jutting through jumpsuit. But it was more than that. I had put my best foot forward today, and for what? Just to be taken as a joke and thrown aside, like common trash. They were much stronger, so much cooler than me… and I wanted to be just like them.
No! I was strong enough, I was good enough. It’s their fault if they can’t see that! I pounded my small fists onto the ground, cracking and breaking the robustly finished stone. I screamed out, suddenly, unexpectedly to even myself, realizing at that moment that I had dislocated my finger. I guess it was the perfect ending to another day in this hell hole.
I clenched my teeth and fumed at the thought of this, as I gingerly grasped at my palm. That stupid little four eyed freak hadn’t even hurt me as much as this. I had beat him all by myself. But there were two of them. They fought dirty, otherwise I would’ve got them. I knew I would have. I felt at my ankle again, and grimaced. There was no way I could walk on it. Man, if that’s the way it’s gonna be, then I’ll just fight as dirty as them. No rules for any of us!
I kneeled up, fixing my features for some unseen camera or audience in the darkness around. It was old habit to hold my head high, just part of who I was. I remembered back to when the King had first shown me that. He said posture makes power and gives respect, or something like that… But he’s dead now. He was weak. So what, I thought? It could still work for me.
I got up, and fell right back down; the pains shooting up and down my leg were too much for anyone to bear. It had to be. But like I knew they would have done, I went against the rules. I knew we weren’t allowed to fly inside the ship, but as long as I was alone, no one would care. I hoped that I just didn’t run into any of those posers again. As I left the room, I peered out into the hallway. It was deserted. Good, I thought to myself. It was almost better to be alone in this creepy place. A lot better than being with any of the others, and especially better than having to deal with Captain-
A light flashed on my wrist. Startled, I fell back and landed on my leg. My broken leg. But I didn’t dare yell out, I didn’t want anyone to come. Besides, I knew such a thing was gonna be a recorded message. Nobody real this time. I clicked open the device to listen and I was met with the voice I knew it would be.
“Lord Frieza needs you immediately. Do you hear me? Get up here now, you little brat. And don‘t pull any tricks this time. You know what will happen if you do. Send me back your response as soon as you get this. You will answer your captain!”
But I wouldn‘t. I fucking hated him. His threats of torture and secret “get togethers” never mattered to me; he would do them even if I was a good little boy. Fuck him. I didn’t care. The only thing I could think of was that none of them, him especially, ever called me by my name. My name. As I got up again to fly back to Frieza’s chambers, I couldn’t help myself. I had to say it, even if it didn’t help. I couldn’t let myself be like them; I couldn’t forget it.
“Vegeta. Prince… Vegeta.” I let out in a quiet breath.
But no one heard me.
- The name of this story was based on the fact that Vegeta slaved away and no one noticed his effort, as well as the fact that he's a slave to the Planet Trade Organization now.
- Referring to King Vegeta as "the King" shows that Vegeta didn't respect his father all that much, because he was weaker than the boy. It was also handy to use as a way to not tell who the main character was yet, while also explaining a deep personality trait about Vegeta for those who read the story a second time.
- Zarbon's name was never actually mentioned in the text. In truth, it could have been any captain, but Zarbon seemed like the one who hated Vegeta the most, so it was the most logical to pick, being a reader.
- Slaved will be in His Majesty's Pet as part of chapter 8.
- I do think Slaved is better than Sixth.
- The pro tip on the original page was added after Destructivedisk reviewed the story and failed to re-read it.
- The part about the Ginyu force being so much stronger and cooler was made to separate Brady Patrick's writing style from KidVegeta's.
Slaved is one of my favorite stories. I enjoyed the first person writing, especially with the detail in Vegeta's wounds and misfortune. My favorite thing about it is the ending, where it reveals it to be Vegeta, and then reading back and catching all the little things, like how he learned to stand from his father and such. I don't particularly like the use of swearing in this, and I'd probably remove the part about the Ginyu force being "so much cooler", but other than that, this story is pretty solid in my opinion. Being how short it is, it's great for a quick read, and coupling that with how good it is, I just love it. I'd give it an S-.
<---- Part 5
Part 7 ---->