Dragon Ball: The Mrovian Series is Hyper Zergling's main story. He had been working on that story since before I joined wikia. But it wasn't really until February 2019 that he started finishing up his sagas. He had written a majority of the chapters for his first saga, Dragon Ball: The Mrovian Series: Genocide Escape saga, over the years (8/14), but starting in February of that year, he picked up his pace considerably, finishing the remaining six by mid-April. I believe I helped HZ write some of that saga, but I think for the most part, I was mostly helping him fine-tune ideas.
For the second saga, Dragon Ball: The Mrovian Series: Nitro saga, he continued the revamp as soon as GES was completed. Up until May 8, 2019, the first six chapters were written and posted. That was some tremendous progress. However, at around that time, HZ got the idea to show what was happening to Chaiva since she disappeared at the beginning of the Nitro saga (part of the way through chapter 2). We had come up with the idea to have her spend some years in the Galactrix Arena, an intergalactic gladiator show based on Ratchet & Clank that was featured in some of my stories, in order for her to get a lot stronger before Nitro finds her, which would allow her to somewhat keep up with Cuber's power spikes. Since most of HMOC dealt with the Galactrix Arena, HZ thought it best that I write most of the story. He did Chaiva's most important fight scenes.
Anyways, after chapter 6 of the Nitro saga was posted, HZ delayed publishing any more of that saga until HMOC was done. This was to guarantee consistency with Chaiva's backstory in the upcoming chapters, as well as letting us clearly define how powerful she was going to be before getting to her reunion with Cuber.
Hyper Zergling had a fairly clear idea of what he wanted for Chaiva's backstory. There was some tinkering that went on, and I probably contributed some minor things to the plot, but overall I followed his outline and did what he asked of me. The outline for the first four chapters is as follows:
(Chaiva’s space pod malfunctions from the explosion of Nitro 297 and she lands on a planet occupied by slavers. They capture her and put her up for auction, where she is bought by an elder female Faereth named Sowrspot. Sowrspot puts Chaiva up against Tarofky, the weakest of her gladiators (no specific design to this character), and Chaiva beats him. Chaiva then beats several others until she is defeated by Jelsun (no specific design).)
(Chaiva is then put into the arena’s league two; the first full fight is shown)
(and then a montage of multiple fights and victories, until a more detailed fight is shown of her defeating Pukco, as an adult) - [spans six years]
(Too strong for the league, Chaiva starts training with Hikain, Sowrspot’s strongest gladiator, and by now, the two respect each other and are friends. Both Chaiva and Hikain are entered, and both meet each other in finals, forcing Chaiva to kill Hikain (I will write the fight). Nitro, having observed the tournament, wants to buy Chaiva, and after continuous disagreements in haggling, he kills Sowrspot.)
The outline wasn't super detailed, which forced me to come up with all the small-talk and characterization for the most part, but overall, following each paragraph led to about a chapter's worth of content.
I wrote chapter 1 on May 13th. A decent portion of chapter 2 was also written in that time, in the chapter 1 document. It was transferred over to chapter 2 after HZ established the word count per chapter. I then continued chapter 2 on May 18th and finished it two days later. Of note is the fact that HZ came back to edit Chaiva's fight versus the her first arena opponent on June 27th. From May 19-28, we worked on chapter 3. We continued editing chapter 3 in the coming days and weeks, though most of that stuff was minor. Chapter 4 was written from May 27th to June 11th with some minor editing taking place afterwards. HZ wrote the fight between Chaiva and Hikain on June 7th. It was originally part of chapter 3, but was was moved to chapter 4 the next day. I believe that this scene remained unwritten until after other parts of chapter 4 had been written due to HZ not having time to write it until on the 7th.
In any case, once those chapters were completed, we moved onto the second arc of HMOC (though these notes were given to me at the same time as those for ch1-4):
- Nroop and Nitro conversation about creating Yuki (not named yet in this conversation)
- Chaiva sent on various missions, whether alone or with groups
- Various dialogue between Nroop and Chaiva before and/or after missions; Nroop is Chaiva’s doctor
- Kaesh (Srief’s niece)-Chaiva rivalry; shown between and during missions
- Fassfu wants Chaiva (determinant)
- Kaesh likes Fassfu - possible ‘love triangle’ where Kaesh futilely tries to impress Fassfu and is jealous
- Nroop and Chaiva scene similar to Hikain and Chaiva scene, except scene is actually shown without detailed descriptions
- Conversation about other powerhouses (important to give stronger Mrovians incentive to train down the road) take place here
- Chaiva’s assassination attempt that leads into her finding out about Yuki
There was a solid nine day break between chapters 4 and 5. I don't find that particular surprising, as Chapter 5 is essentially the beginning of a new arc (though debatably, the end of chapter 4 was). This part of the story was a little trickier to write because it dealt more with characterization than with battles. It wasn't terribly easy for me to come up with Nroop's personality as it related to Chaiva, nor to add in Fassfu and Kaesh. This was by far the most difficult part of HMOC to write. And truthfully, right now I can't tell you a single thing that happens other than the final scene of chapter 7, so I'm going to have to re-read to give any meaningful commentary on these chapters.
Chapter 5 was written from June 20th to June 23rd. Overall, a pretty brisk pace for that chapter once I got down to it. HZ added a few lines to that one. Chapter 6 was written from June 25th to June 28th. Once more, HZ added in a few lines, but overall the chapter was left for me to do. Once chapter 5 was completed, I had worked out a lot of the stuff for this second arc, and the writing for the remaining chapters came easier.
Chapter 7 was written from July 1st to July 9th. This one took a little bit longer than the other two because I came up with the idea to have Chaiva attempt the assassination of Nitro that leads to her finding out about Yuki. This was a major development as it relates to the plot of Dragon Ball: Cold Vengeance. I wanted Chaiva to at least know about Yuki before CV, for otherwise she might have killed Yuki when she finds her drifting amongst the ruins of Typhon after the end of chapter 7 of that story. This scene was the most difficult for me to write in all of HMOC, especially the dialogue for Chaiva and Yuki. We'll get more into that in that chapter's endnotes, though.
In any case, I don't expect to have too much more to say about this one. I had fun writing it, and I hope that HZ likes how it turned out. His additions with the fight scenes were much appreciated. Let's get this one done. Onto the endnotes.
Everything Hyper Zergling wrote is in bold.
Chapter 1: Unfortunate Divergence
<THE CAMERA SHOWS PLANET NITRO 297 EXPLODING FROM SPACE; THE ANGLE IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT THAN THE ONE SHOWN PREVIOUSLY; A SPACE POD IS SHOWN BARELY ESCAPING FROM THE SURFACE BEFORE THE EXPLOSION OVERTAKES THE PLANET; THE CAMERA PANS BACK SHARPLY AS IT SHOWS THE SPACE POD BEING SOMEWHAT OVERTAKEN BY THE OUTER EDGE OF THE SHOCKWAVE AS THE PLANET EXPLODES; THIS CAUSES THE POD TO VEER SHARPLY OFF COURSE>
<CUTS TO SEVERAL MONTHS LATER; THE SPACE POD IS SHOWN ENTERING THE ATMOSPHERE OF A SWAMPY, OVERCAST WORLD; IT STREAKS ACROSS THE SKY IN THE DISTANCE; AS THE CAMERA PANS BACK, IT REVEALS SEVERAL SINISTER-LOOKING ALIENS WEARING STRANGE MAKESHIFT ARMOR ENCIRCLED AROUND A GROUP OF OTHER CHAINED-UP ALIENS, NONE OF THEM MORE THAN ONE AND A HALF METER TALL, WITH BLUE AND BLACK SCALES, BLACK FINS INSTEAD OF HAIR, AND DARK, UNSEEING EYES; ALL OF THE SLAVES ARE WEARING THIN BLACK NECK COLLARS WITH RED LIGHTS ON THE BACK>
<A JOLEAN SLAVER WITH A SCAR ACROSS HIS CHIN WHISTLES, AND HALF OF THE GROUP TEARS OFF INTO THE SKY AFTER THE POD WITHOUT HESITATION; WATCHING THEM FLY AFTER IT, HE LOOKS AROUND AT THE OTHERS, EXCHANGES A LOOK WITH ANOTHER SLAVER OF HIS SPECIES, AND THEN FLIES OFF AFTER THEM>
<CUTS TO THE SPACE POD, WITH THE CAMERA LOOKING DOWN ON IT FROM OVERHEAD AND TO THE LEFT; THE POD HAS LANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF A MUDDY MARSH; THE DOOR POPS OPEN, AND THE CONFUSED FACE OF CHAIVA PEERS OUT OF IT A MOMENT LATER; SHE YAWNS, CLIMBING OUT AND FLYING INTO THE AIR SO AS TO NOT GET HER BOOTS ALL MUDDY; HER FLIGHT IS SOMEWHAT AWKWARD, AND SHE HAS SOME TROUBLE BALANCING IN THE AIR AT FIRST; STRETCHING HER BACK AND NECK, SHE LOOKS AROUND, SOAKING IN THE NEW SURROUNDS>
Chaiva: <MUTTERING TO HERSELF> This is a miserable place. Figures… I wonder where Cuber is. Without a scouter, I’ll have to find him the old-fashioned way.
<CHAIVA EXHALES, THEN TAKES A DEEP BREATH; A FAINT BLUE-WHITE AURA MUSTERS AROUND HER FORM; SHE RAISES ONE HAND INTO THE AIR, PALM FACING THE SKY; A YELLOW BALL OF KI BEGINS FORMING OVER IT; JUST AS SHE PREPARES TO SHOOT IT INTO THE SKY, A DARK FUR BOOT COMES FLYING INTO FRAME, KICKING HER SAVAGELY IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD; CHAIVA SAILS HEAD-FIRST TO THE MARSH, LANDING IN A POOL OF BRACKISH WATER>
<SPITTING WATER, THE SAIYAN GIRL JUMPS UP, STUMBLING BACK, FISTS RAISES, A STREAK OF BLOOD RUNNING DOWN HER RIGHT EAR; TWO ALIENS LAND IN FRONT OF HER, WEARING MISMATCHED ARMOR THAT SHE DOES NOT RECOGNIZE; THE SHORTER, STUBBIER ALIEN IS A SPACE-BADGER WITH BROWN-AND-BLACK FUR, WHO WILL BE KNOWN AS SALMAN BEHR; THE OTHER IS A MATURE CAT-LIKE NYARIN WITH AQUA FUR AND BLACK STRIPES AND THREE PAIRS OF LONG MUSTACHIOS DYED WHITE; THIS FELLOW’S NAME IS BAQUILIA>
Baquilia: Easy now, girl. Easy. We’re just here to help. You don’t want to end up Salmy over there, do ya? <SALMY POLITELY SMILES FOR CHAIVA, REVEALING HIS BROKEN AND CHIPPED TEETH; THE NYARIN RAISES HIS FIST AT CHAIVA AGAIN> Now, are you coming with us, or not?
Chaiva: Where? <SHE TAKES ANOTHER STEP BACK, EYES NARROWING> Who are you?
Salman Behr: <IN A HIGH, WET, SNIVELING VOICE> We’re your only ticket off this dump, you little shit. <HE CACKLES, THEN SHOOTS A RED FINGER BEAM AT HER SPACE POD, DESTROYING IT> The ticket ain’t free, neither. So you better come with us.
<SHE SPINS AWAY FROM THEM, SHOOTING A SMALL KI BLAST INTO THE WATER AND CREATING AN AFTERIMAGE THAT BACKS AWAY AS SHE SHOOTS INTO THE CLOUD COVER OVERHEAD>
Chaiva: <IN HER HEAD> They aren’t wearing scouters, either… but they hit hard. I don’t know if I can beat both of them.
<IN HER HAND, CHAIVA STARTS CHARGING UP AN ENERGY BEAM; SWOOPING BELOW THE CLOUDS, SHE SEES THE SPACE-BADGER SCOURING THE MARSHLANDS FOR HER BELOW; PAUSING, SHE AIMS TO FIRE HER ATTACK WHEN SOMEONE COMES UP BEHIND HER AND GRABS HER, PUTTING ONE OF THOSE SAME BLACK COLLARS AROUND HER NECK AS WAS SEEN ON THE ENSLAVED ALIENS BEFORE>
<CHAIVA GASPS, AND HER ENERGY ATTACK DISSIPATES IN HER HAND; THE CAMERA PANS BACK, REVEALING THE GREEN-SKINNED JOLEAN FROM BEFORE; LET’S CALL HIM TANGHOR; AS THE CAMERA PANS BACK FURTHER, THE REST OF HIS SQUAD IS SHOWN IN THE AIR, SURROUNDING HIM IN STAGGERED LINES SEVERAL TENS OF METERS APART; CLEARLY, THERE IS NO WAY FOR CHAIVA TO ESCAPE NOW>
Chaiva: <STRUGGLING, BUT TO NO USE> What the… get off of me!
Tanghor: That thing I just put around your neck… that’s a power regulator. It prevents you from powering up… <HE SMILES, REVEALING HIS BROWN TEETH> So you see, little girl, you’re helpless now. If I were to let go of you… you’d fall all the way to the ground. <CHAIVA GIVES A DISTRESSING LOOK AS HE ALMOST DROPS HER, GIGGLING TO HIMSELF> So then, what’ll it be? Do you want to come with us, or do you want to die?
Chaiva: <STRUGGLING AGAIN, THIS TIME MORE HALF-HEARTEDLY> I’ll kill you!
Tanghor: I like your spirit! You’ve got the heart of a warrior in you. But, that may be cheating on my part… for you see, I can sense your energy, and I sensed how strong you got earlier, trying to get away from Salmy and Baquilio. You didn’t even power up all the way. <HE SMILES AGAIN, LOOKING AROUND TO HIS FRIENDS; HE RAISES HIS VOICE> She’ll fetch a good price in the fighting pits, eh boys? <HIS MEN ROAR IN APPROVAL> Heheheh, alright then.
<WITHOUT WARNING, HE LEANS IN AND HEADBUTTS CHAIVA UNCONSCIOUS>
<CUTS TO TUHAK ECLI, HOME OF THE GALACTRIX ARENA; FROM SPACE, THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON THE NORTHERN POLE, REVEALING A LARGE SERIES OF BUILDINGS, ARENAS, SKYSCRAPERS, AND VARIOUS BUILDINGS ALL CRAMMED TOGETHER INTO A PORT KNOWN AS NALNARATH’S HOLD>
<THE CAMERA CUTS TO THE CITY, SHOWING THAT IT IS A GRIM PLACE AND DIRTY, WITH POLLUTION RISING INTO THE AIR FROM MANY BUILDINGS, AND BRIGHT FLOATING BILLBOARDS ADVERTISING ALL SORTS OF THINGS, SUCH AS BETS, SLAVES FOR SALE, PIT FIGHTERS FOR SALE, AND OF COURSE ADVERTISEMENTS FOR FOOD AND SEX; THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WALKING AROUND, ALTHOUGH THOSE WITH BLACK COLLARS ON ARE BEING ESCORTED BY THOSE IN MORE ORNATE AND COLORFUL CLOTHING, OR BY SLAVERS IN THEIR ROUGH, UNWASHED ARMOR; MANY ARENA BOTS FLY AROUND, SURVEYING, WATCHING, SCANNING SLAVES’ VITAL SIGNS, ASSISTING VISITORS WITH FINDING THE NEAREST RESTROOM, AND THE LIKE>
<AS THE CAMERA DROPS INTO THE THRONGS OF PEOPLE, MANY OF WHOM ARE OPENLY SMOKING NIL STICKS OR DRINKING ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, LAUGHING AND JOKING AND BLOVATING TO THEIR FRIENDS IN LOUD VOICES, A FLOATING SIGN APPEARS AHEAD FROM BEHIND A VEIL OF SMOKE AND PEOPLE THAT SAYS ‘NEW STOCK - JUST ARRIVED TODAY’; BELOW THIS IS A HOLDING CAGE WITH MANY OF THE BLUE-SCALED ALIENS SEEN BEFORE; THE SLAVER BAQUILIO IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE CAGE, TRYING TO COAX POTENTIAL BUYERS IN, BUT NOBODY’S BUYING; MEANWHILE, IN THE CORNER, SALMY AND A FEW OTHERS ARE PIGGING OUT ON MEAT KEBABS AND FOAMING DRINKS>
<THE CAMERA PANS TO THE LEFT, REVEALING TANGHOR WITH CHAIVA STANDING NEXT TO HIM; THEY ARE TALKING TO A PURPLE-SKINNED FAERIN WEARING LONG BLUE ROBES; THE FAERIN, WHO IS NAMED SOWRSPOT, LOOKS OVER CHAIVA; EVERY TIME THE SAIYAN BOWS HER HEAD, SHE RECEIVES AN ELECTRICAL SHOCK FROM THE COLLAR THAT MAKES HER LOOK UP AGAIN; THERE IS A DETACHED LOOK IN HER EYES; SHE WILL NOT LOOK AT THE FAERIN, BUT INSTEAD STARES OFF BEYOND HER AS THE SLAVER AND HER CONVERSE>
Sowrspot: Eighty? Why, I could find a girl like this three stalls down for a quarter of that price!
Tanghor: <COOLLY> Don’t think so, lady. Bots say she’s a Saiyan. You know about Saiyans?
Sowrspot: <GETTING ALL OFFENDED> My word, you are rude. Of course I know about the Saiyans. Do you take me for some backwater harlot? Frieza destroyed their homeworld. Last I’ve heard, he has a couple working for him… but they’re all that’s left.
Tanghor: <SHRUGS THEN REACHES FOR SOMETHING IN HIS POCKET> If you want the DNA tests, I’ve got them right here. It’s authentic. You can trust me.
<THE WOMAN SNATCHES UP THE PAPERS; A MOMENT LATER, SHE PEERS OVER THE TOP OF THEM, FIRST TO CHAIVA, THEN TO TANGHOR, THEN BACK TO CHAIVA>
Sowrspot: I… see. Yes, these are authentic. But, she doesn’t have a tail.
Tanghor: Must’ve lost it running away. I’ve heard they grow back. Just expose her to the moon. Take her out tonight, even. It’ll grow back. If it doesn’t, you can return her and get your money back. <HE RAISES HIS HANDS, SHRUGGING AGAIN> Otherwise, I’ve got other buyers lined up…
Sowrspot: <QUICKLY; SHE PULLS OUT A SPACE CREDIT CARD TO PAY WITH> No, no, no… that’s quite alright. I think I’ll take her. Your name is Tanghor, is it not?
Tanghor: That’s right.
Sowrspot: I remember you - you used to fight. What happened? Got tired of it all?
Tanghor: I still fight every now and then. You’ll see me out there at the start of next season. But I don’t do it too much anymore.
Sowrspot: Oh, why’s that?
Tanghor: I’m too good at what I do now. <RAISES HIS ARMS AGAIN GRANDIOUSLY> If I were gone, you wouldn’t have all this lovely stock to choose from…
Sowrspot: Ah, very good. If she proves to be a capable warrior, I shall return. Until then, good day, sir.
<HE HANDS HER BACK HER CARD, BOWING SLIGHTLY; THEN, THE SLAVER GIVES SOWRSPOT THE CONTROLLER FOR CHAIVA’S POWER RESTRAINT, AND THEY BEGIN WALKING OFF BACK INTO THE CROWD; AT FIRST, THE GIRL IS UNSURE OF IF SHE SHOULD FOLLOW, BUT SHE GETS AN IMMEDIATE SHOCK, SENDING HER RUNNING AFTER THE OLD WOMAN, WHO DOESN’T SO MUCH AS LOOK BACK AT HER TO SEE IF SHE’S FOLLOWING>
<THEY REACH THE END OF THE STREET AND GO DOWN A SHORT ALLEYWAY LEADING INTO A BUILDING; ONCE INSIDE, CHAIVA, ADJUSTING HER EYES TO THE ARTIFICIAL BRIGHTNESS, STOPS; THERE IS NO ONE ELSE INSIDE EXCEPT FOR AN ARENA BOT ATTENDING TO A MONITOR IN THE FAR CORNER; SOWRSPOT CONTINUES INSIDE, BUT WHEN CHAIVA DOESN’T FOLLOW HER, SHE ZAPS THE GIRL>
Chaiva: <GRITTING HER TEETH> N-no… stop!
<SIGHING, THE OLD WOMAN CLICKS IT AGAIN, GIVING CHAIVA A MORE FORCEFUL SHOCK THIS TIME; THE GIRL FALLS TO HER KNEES, BUT REFUSES TO MOVE, FORCING SOWRSPOT TO RETURN BACK TO HER; UPON REACHING CHAIVA, SHE FINALLY RELEASES THE BUTTON; THE GIRL IS SHAKING ON THE FLOOR, BREATHING HARD, UNABLE TO LOOK UP>
Sowrspot: <IN A WHISPER IN A SWEET VOICE> Now, now, my dear monkey, you can’t do that.
Chaiva: I’m not… going with you…!
Sowrspot: Oh, you are. I could have someone carry you, or you could come yourself. It’s happening either way. The more defiant you are, the more pain there will be. There doesn’t have to be any pain. <SHE REACHES DOWN, STROKING CHAIVA’S HAIR SOFTLY> It’s time to get up. We cannot be late.
Chaiva: <BARELY HAS THE ENERGY TO LOOK UP; HER EYES FIRST DART TO THE CLICKER IN SOWRSPOT’S HAND, THEN TO THE WOMAN’S FACE; HER JAWS ARE CLENCHED, BUT HER LIPS ARE PULLED BACK; FINALLY, SHE EXHALES FORCEFULLY, AND HER BREATHING SLOWLY DIMS; THE WOMAN RUBS HER SHOULDER, CAUSING THE GIRL TO FLINCH BACK, BUT THEN RELAX; HER FROWN SOFTENS> Where… where are you taking me?
Sowrspot: Why, to the other side of the planet. This teleporter will get us there in a flash. <SHE GESTURES TO THE DEVICE STANDING NEXT TO THE COMPUTER MONITORS THAT THE ARENA BOT IS WORKING AT> Come now, my sweet little monkey. We must be going.
Chaiva: <STRUGGLING TO STAND; THE OLD WOMAN DOES NOT EVEN ATTEMPT TO HELP HER UP> But… what’s on the other side of the planet…?
Sowrspot: There are the training grounds… and many of the arenas. <SHE SMILES, STEPPING ONTO THE TELEPORTER PAD, WAVING THE GIRL TO JOIN HER> But one thing at a time.
<CHAIVA STEPS ONTO THE OTHER PAD, AND BOT BEGINS PRESSING MANY OF THE IMPORTANT SCREEN BUTTONS; RUNNING HER HAND THROUGH CHAIVA’S HAIR AGAIN, SOWRSPOT LOOKS DOWN ON CHAIVA, A THOUGHTFUL LOOK IN HER EYE; SOON GOLD LIGHT BEGINS TO ENWRAP THEM AS THE TELEPORTER HUMS TO LIFE>
Sowrspot: Don’t disappoint me out there. If you want to survive for a long time and make me lots of money, you have to be a Saiyan - you have show us all what your species is really capable of. Or else, you’ll die, and that would be quite a shame.
<THEY DISAPPEAR IN A GLOW OF LIGHT, LEAVING THE TELEPORTER AND BOT BEHIND>
- Hyper Zergling named all of the chapters. As far as divergences go, considering the trajectory of Chaiva's life, this one is perhaps not as unfortunate in retrospect as she thought it was at the time.
- The opening of this chapter was meant to evoke a similar image to that of Cooler watching Planet Vegeta explode at the start of Dragon Ball Z: Cooler's Revenge.
- I added in the natives just to showcase the collars, which are the most important tool in keeping the slaves in Galactrix. This foreshadows, a bit, Chaiva becoming enslaved.
- Salman Behr is a pun on Salmonberry. Baquilio is a pun on boquila. Tanghor is a pun on tangor.
- It was interesting to write for Chaiva in this first chapter. I felt a little shaky writing her fight scenes, as Hyper Zergling has a clear fighting style in mind when he writes for her, based on a Super Smash Brothers game that I've not played enough of. As such, I tried to not have head-on confrontations in the opening scene, instead opting for guerilla warfare, as when things get messy, one must not be expected to perform smash combos.
- Chaiva has her usual confidence and stubbornness about her in this opening chapter, but it was important for me to quell that quickly, for she's entering a new period of her life, and those she is dealing with are a lot stronger than the PTO soldiers she's dealt with in the past, and are less disciplined too. The PTO is a fearsome group of aliens, but she's out in the wild now, and these guys are a lot more reckless. Their depravity is on a different level altogether.
- Tanghor being a Jolean was key to this scene, as the slavers don't usually have scouters. The fact that he can naturally sense ki allowed him to give a good assessment of Chaiva's potential to her buyer. Had he not been a Jolean, she might've been sold for a lot less.
- Coming up with the scenery, atmosphere, and alien composition for Tuhak Ecli was very fun. This is a side of the planet that was not seen in any previous story of mine, so the world building here was something I spent a good deal of time on.
- The DNA test was necessary because Chaiva lost her tail during the Genocide Escape saga.
- The small-talk between Tanghor and Sowrspot kind of revealed a bit of each of their characters and backstories, which was fun. It wasn't fun writing it, though. The only thing I feel when engaging in or writing small-talk is anxiety. It's not easy for me to guess what people will say, so getting that dialogue to where it is today (which, having read it for the first time in more than a year just now, I think is fairly strong) took a lot of time and effort.
- The way Sowrspot treats Chaiva shows that she's done this dozens of times before. She has no patience for the slave that does not know their place.
- Chaiva's stubbornness, particularly in not wanting to go with Sowrspot, and accepting the pain for her defiance, is one of her traits that makes her my favorite HZ Saiyan. Her strong will is one of her greatest attributes, but as seen in this chapter, sometimes she resists authority to her detriment.
- I tried to write Sowrspot being not entirely unlikable, though dunno if I succeeded in that. She views Chaiva as a commodity, but there is some level of empathy too.
Chapter 2: Gladiator
<CUTS TO SOWRSPOT’S TRAINING GROUNDS>
<THE TRAINING GROUNDS ARE STAGED LIKE A SMALLER FIGHTING ARENA IN AN OVAL SHAPE, ALTHOUGH ONLY ONE SIDE, THE ONE OVERLOOKING THE CENTER OF THE STAGE, HAS SEATING; HERE, THE FAERIN SOWRSPOT AND SEVERAL OF HER ATTENDANTS, FRIENDS, AND GUARDS (ALL OF WHOM ARE EITHER FAERETH OR JOLEANS THEMSELVES) WATCH HER GLADIATORS PRACTICING>
<CHAIVA IS STANDING NEXT TO HIKAIN, A GEOMOGEO WHO HAS REDDISH BROWN SKIN, AMBER EYES, AND DARK BROWN HAIR THAT COVERS HIS CHEST, BACK, ARMS, AND LEGS; WHILE HE IS SQUAT AND SHORT, HE LOOKS HUMAN-LIKE, EXCEPT FOR HIS DECIDEDLY APEISH FACIAL FEATURES; HIKAIN WHISTLES TO THE REST OF THE GLADIATORS TO GATHER AROUND; ALL OF THEM SURROUND CHAIVA, LOOKING HER OVER, MUTTERING TO EACH OTHER; THERE ARE SEVERAL GEOMOGEOS AMONGST THE GROUP, BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS OF A DISTINCT SPECIES, MANY OF WHICH CHAIVA DOES NOT RECOGNIZE>
Hikain: This is Chaiva. She’s #17 now. Hasn’t fought yet.
Jelsun: <HISSING; HE IS AN ORANGE-SKINNED SIMIAN ALIEN WITH WHITE FUR> And what is she? Just a girl! Won’t last long in League Two, I’d wager!
Hikain: We’ll see. <USING AN EXAGGERATED TONE> Tarofky, step up! It’s time for the placement trials!
<THE GROUP HOOTS AND HOLLERS; FROM HER BOOTH, SOWRSPOT APPLAUDS POLITELY; HER LADIES ONLY START DOING THIS AFTER THEY REALIZE SHE HAS, ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A SECOND OR TWO PAUSE WHERE ONLY SOWRSPOT CLAPS; SOWRSPOT TRIES TO WHISTLE, BUT HER LIPS ARE TOO DRY, SO SHE CAN’T; THE CAMERA CUTS BACK TO THE ARENA, WHERE FIFTEEN GLADIATORS HAVE SURROUNDED TWO OTHERS; CHAIVA TAKES A WARY, DEFENSIVE POSTURE, GLANCING ONCE UP AT THE ONLOOKERS BEFORE EXHALING AND FOCUSING ON THE TASK AT HAND; TAROFKY, A SCRAWNY, BRUISED, RED-SKINNED ALIEN WITH LONG BLACK HAIR AND A SINGLE CURVED HORN PROTRUDING OUT OF HIS FOREHEAD AS WELL AS A FLESHY TAIL, STANDS OPPOSITE OF CHAIVA, RAISING HIS FISTS ALMOST EQUALLY AS UNWILLINGLY>
<THE GROUP BEGINS CHANTING FOR THEM TO BEGIN, THEIR SHOUTS GETTING LOUDER AND FASTER TO THE POINT WHERE TAROFKY EVENTUALLY BREAKS; SHOUTING WILDLY, HIS VOICE BREAKING, THE LITTLE GLADIATOR RUNS AT HIS OPPONENT WITH HIS HEAD DOWN, FISTS SWINGING; CHAIVA SIDESTEPS AND SIDEKICKS HIM WITH BRUTAL EFFICIENCY; THE OTHER GLADIATORS ROAR IN APPROVAL AS TAROFKY FALLS OVER ON HIS SIDE, UNCONSCIOUS>
Hikain: <RAISING CHAIVA’S RIGHT ARM INTO THE AIR> Winner! <LOOKING DOWN AT HER> Now you are #16. You’ll be able to use your full power now.
Chaiva: My full power?
Hikain: Your power regulator has been turned off. But so are ours. Behave yourself. <LOOKING UP, HE WHISTLES AGAIN> #15, step up! The placement trials will continue until one of you defeats this monkey!
<A FEMALE INOVIAN NAMED OZELI STEPS FORWARD; SHE IS A REPTILE BIPED WITH GREEN AND BLACK SCALES; AS BEFORE, THE REST OF THE GLADIATORS SURROUND HER AND CHAIVA (SANS TAROFKY, WHO HAS BEEN TAKEN TO THE REJUVENATION TANKS) AND START CHEERING THEM ON>
Jelsun: Monkey? <SCOFFS> What… is she a Saiyan?
Gladiator 2: Impossible, the Saiyans are all dead!
Hikain: You’ll be fighting her soon enough, if the slavers are to be believed.
Gladiator 3: How strong is she?!
Gladiator 4: Can’t be too much. She’s just a kid.
Hikain: We’ll find that out for ourselves soon enough.
<OZELI IS MORE DEFENSIVE THAN HER FELLOW GLADIATOR, AND THIS TIME, SHE LETS CHAIVA ATTACK FIRST WHILE BOUNCING ON HER HEELS AND PLAYING COY; FINALLY, CHAIVA ATTACKS, SMASHING HER IN THE MOUTH WITH A LUNGING RIGHT HOOK; THE INOVIAN FALLS ONTO HER BACK; THOUGH SHE IS NOT DEFEATED, SHE TAKES A MOMENT TO GET UP, AND THIS IS ENOUGH TIME FOR CHAIVA TO COME DOWN ON HER CHEST WITH A FLYING KICK, KNOCKING OUT OZELI>
<THE CAMERA CUTS TO SOWRSPOT, WHO IS WATCHING THIS WITH GLEE WHILE SUCKING ON A NIL STICK; CUTS BACK TO CHAIVA, WHO IS NOW FACING OFF AGAINST A SPACE-BADGER; SHE EASILY DISPATCHES HIM WITH AN ELBOW TO THE GUT FOLLOWED BY A BACKHAND FIST TO THE SNOUT; CUTS TO CHAIVA BREAKING OUT OF A GRAB THAT A YELLOW-SKINNED ALIEN OF APPULE’S SPECIES HAD HER IN; SHE KICKS HIM IN THE LEG WITH THE BACK OF HER HEEL, SPINS AROUND AND STRIKES HIM THREE TIMES IN THE CHEST, CATCHES A DESPERATELY-THROWN PUNCH, AND THEN CRASHES IN ON HIS NOSE WITH HER ELBOW>
<CUTS TO CHAVIA DODGING AN ONSLAUGHT OF PUNCHES AND KICKS FROM ANOTHER GEOMOGEO (WHO HAS BLACK HAIR) BEFORE FRONT-FLIPPING OVER HIM, SHOOTING HIM IN THE BACK WITH A SLEW OF YELLOW KI BALLS BEFORE LANDING; RIGHT WHEN SHE DOES, HE COLLAPSES>
<CUTS TO A FIGHT BETWEEN CHAIVA AND SOME GREEN DUDE WITHOUT A CHIN; SHE BLOCKS SEVERAL PUNCHES, THEN KNEES HIM AWAY; HE BLASTS HER IN THE FACE WITH A BLUE ENERGY WAVE; PAUSING, THE SAIYAN GRIMACES IN PAIN BEFORE SHOOTING A YELLOW FINGER BEAM RIGHT THROUGH THE ALIEN’S CHEST; CUTS TO CHAIVA USING AN EXPLOSIVE WAVE TO KNOCK OVER A LEQII DRONE, WHO IS COVERED IN A PROTECTIVE RED AND YELLOW ARMORED SHELL AND HAS FOUR YELLOW BUG WINGS, PUMMELING HIM MERCILESSLY>
<CUTS TO CHAIVA ROLLING OUT OF THE WAY OF AN INCOMING HOOK KICK; SHE BLASTS AT HER FOE WITH A TORRENT OF KI, ENGULFING THE SURROUNDINGS IN SMOKE; THE RING OF GLADIATORS SURROUNDING THEM IS MUCH SMALLER THAN IT WAS AT THE START OF THIS AFFAIR; UP IN THE OWNER’S BOX, SOWRSPOT AND HER GALS ARE SMOKING AWAY AND GETTING DRUNK OFF LEIMA BIVO, AN ALCOHOLIC DRINK PRODUCED ON FAERI THAT MAKES THE DRINKER’S TEETH TURN PURPLE; THE SMOKE DISSIPATES AND A MUSCLED, HUMANOID HAND SHOOTS OUT TO GRAB HER; CHAIVA TRIES TO JUMP BACK, BUT THE GEOMOGEO CATCHES HER BY THE ANKLE AND PULLS HER BACK; HE GETS TWO OR THREE GOOD PUNCHES IN BEFORE CHAIVA IS ABLE TO SPRING TOWARDS HIM WITH HER UPPER BODY, PALM OUT, PLASMA ARCS FORMING AROUND HER HAND; A SECOND LATER, THE GEOMOGEO, FIST RAISED TO STRIKE HER IN THE MOUTH, SQUEALS IN PAIN AND FALLS OVER, WRIGGLING AND CLUTCHING AT WHAT REMAINS OF HIS REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS>
<CUTS TO CHAIVA NOW FIGHTING THE WHITE-FURRED ALIEN KNOWN AS JELSUN; SHE KNOCKS HIM AWAY WITH A SAIYAN BOLIDE; THE ALIEN RETALIATES BY SHOOTING TWO ENERGY BEAMS AT THE GIRL, AND WHEN SHE GOES TO BLOCK THEM, HE RUSHES HER, FEINTING WITH A LUNGE TO THE RIGHT BEFORE DROPPING TO THE GROUND AND KICKING HER LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HER; BEFORE HE CAN POUNCE ON HER, SHE JUMPS UP IN A BACK-FLIP, KICKING HIM HARD ACROSS THE FACE; AS THE MUNOPHIN STAGGERS BACK, CHAIVA IMMEDIATELY POUNCES ON HIM HERSELF, GRABBING HIS FACE WITH HER HANDS; AT ONCE, BLUE-WHITE KI EXPLODES OUTWARDS, UNLEASHING ITS POTENT FORCE UPON JELSUN IN A MASSIVE EXPLOSION OF HEAT AND ENERGY>
<BEFORE THE SMOKE CAN EVEN CLEAR, HOWEVER, A WHITE-FUR ARM GRABS CHAIVA AROUND THE NECK AND THROWS HER TO THE GROUND; HOWEVER, JELSUN DOES NOT LET GO, PROCEEDING TO SLAM HER AGAINST THE STAGE FLOOR FOUR MORE TIMES BEFORE FINALLY DROPPING HER; THEN, HE POINTS TWO FINGERS AT THE GIRL, A SPARKLE OF GREEN LIGHT FORMING ON HIS FINGERTIPS>
Chaiva: <CLEARLY EXHAUSTED, COVERED IN BRUISES AND BLEEDING WOUNDS> Alright… fine, I give u-
Jelsun: <LAUGHING AT HER NAIVE NATURE> That’s not how this works, kid.
<HE SHOOTS HER WITH THE TWIN ENERGY BEAMS AT POINT-BLANK RANGE, FLINGING HER TO THE FAR SIDE OF THE STAGE, WHERE SHE LANDS IN A CRUMPLED HEAP AND DOES NOT MOVE>
Hikain: <STEPPING FORWARD FROM THE OUTER CIRCLE> Well, #7, you’ve proved to be a killjoy.
Jelsun: <DRAWING HIMSELF UP PROUDLY> No way that kid’s better than me.
Hikain: She’ll be put in League Two - same place you’re in, isn’t that right? Maybe you two will meet up again…
Jelsun: <SPITTING> Bah, it’s a pity we can’t kill outside of the Premier League. She wouldn’t last one day out there if they could, I tell ya!
<HIKAIN IS ALREADY WALKING OFF, HOWEVER, WAVING BACK AT JELSUN NONCHALANTLY, MAKING A SHOW OF PRETENDING TO ACTUALLY LISTEN>
<CUTS TO THREE DAYS LATER>
<THE CAMERA PANS OVER A MODERATELY-SIZED ARENA WITH SEVERAL THOUSAND ATTENDANTS WATCHING IN DOZENS OF ROWS OF SEATS, AS WELL AS MORE EXPENSIVE (AND COZY) LUXURY BOXES SITUATED OVER THOSE; FLYING ALL AROUND THE ARENA, BOTH INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE BUBBLE-LIKE METAL CAGE SEPARATING THE GLADIATORS FROM THE AUDIENCE, ARE CAMERA BOTS WHICH CATALOGUE THE ENTIRE FIGHT FROM EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE>
<BILLBOARDS AND ADVERTISEMENTS FLOAT AROUND THE ARENA, ABOVE THE FIGHTING STAGE, THE LARGEST OF WHICH BEING THE ARENA SCOREBOARD, INDICATING THE FIGHTERS ON EITHER SIDE - CHAIVA ON THE LEFT, HWANINBUM ON THE RIGHT, WITH PICTURES OF EACH OF THEM BELOW THEIR NAMES, AND BELOW THAT, THEIR RECORD IN ARENA FIGHTS; CHAIVA’S RECORD, OF COURSE IS 0-0, WHILE HWANINBUM’S IS LISTED AS 5-2; THE BOARD ALSO LISTS THIS FIGHT AS A ROUND 1 FIGHT, INDICATING THAT THIS IS THE FIRST FIGHT EITHER ONE OF THEM IS PARTICIPATING IN FOR THE SEASON>
<AN ELECTRICAL CONTAINMENT FIELD ENGAGES AROUND THE ARENA TO PREVENT ANY GLADIATOR FROM ESCAPING; THE SAIYAN AND HER FOE ARE SUDDENLY TELEPORTED IN ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE ARENA (TWO ARENA BOTS FLY OFF WITH THE TELEPORTER PADS AFTERWARDS)>
<HWANINBUM IS A BIPEDAL ALIEN WITH LIGHT BROWN SKIN, RED EYES, AND A CROWN OF THREE HORNS GROWING OUT OF HIS HEAD; AS IS CUSTOMARY IN LEAGUES ONE AND TWO, THE GLADIATORS DO NOT WEAR ARMOR; BOTH HWANINBUM AND CHAIVA ARE WEARING ONLY LIGHT TRAINING CLOTHES; CHAIVA LOOKS AROUND IN BEWILDERMENT AS THE CROWDS CHEER AND BOO FROM THE SAFETY OF THEIR SEATS; HWANINBUM’S DEMEANOR IS MUCH MORE CALM, ALTHOUGH HE IS FOCUSED ON CHAIVA, NEVER TAKING HIS EYES OFF HER>
<THE SCOREBOARD OVERHEAD LIGHTS UP WITH A COUNTDOWN TIMER FROM TEN; THE MOBS OF ALIENS WATCHING ON CHANT THE NUMBERS DOWN ALL THE WAY; AS SOON AS THEY REACH ZERO, THE LIGHTS ON CHAIVA AND HWANINBUM’S COLLARS CHANGE FROM RED TO BLUE, INDICATING THAT THEY CAN NOW USE THEIR FULL POWER>
<CHAIVA’S OPPONENT LUNGES AT HER, HORNS POINTED IN HER DIRECTION; SHE IMMEDIATELY SIDESTEPS, CAUSING HER OPPONENT TO FLY PAST HER; KNOWING THAT HE MISSED, HWANINBUM AIMS HIS HEAD AT THE GROUND, STOPPING HIS MOMENTUM WITH HIS HORNS, AND THEN FLIPS HIMSELF UPRIGHT; THIS TIME, CHAIVA ATTACKS AND FLIES AT THE DEMONIC ALIEN WITH A RIGHT AERIAL SIDE KICK; HWANINBUM SIDESTEPS CHAIVA AND THEN RIGHT-ROUNDHOUSE-KICKS HER IN THE FOREHEAD, SENDING HER SKIDDING ON HER BACK ACROSS THE GROUND; THE PALE-BROWN ALIEN LEAPS OVER CHAIVA AND GRABS HER SHOULDERS, PREVENTING HER FROM CONTINUING FURTHER, AND THEN LEANS DOWN TO BITE THE RIGHT SIDE OF CHAIVA’S NECK; THE SAIYAN YELLS IN PAIN, BUT THEN THROWS MULTIPLE LEFT HOOKS TO HWANINBUM’S RIGHT RIBS; THE FOURTH PUNCH LOOSENS THE GRIP OF CHAIVA’S OPPONENT ENOUGH FOR HER TO PUSH HIM OFF; BOTH ARE ABLE TO STAND, WITH CHAIVA CLUTCHING HER BLEEDING NECK WITH HER RIGHT HAND>
<HWANINBUM CHARGES AT CHAIVA ONCE MORE, THIS TIME WITH A RIGHT SUPERMAN PUNCH; CHAIVA, WITH HER RIGHT ARM, SLAPS HER OPPONENT’S FIST AWAY AND THEN WITH HER LEFT PALM SUPPORTING HER RIGHT FIST, SHE THRUSTS HER RIGHT ELBOW INTO HER OPPONENT’S ABDOMEN; BEFORE HWANINBUM IS SENT FLYING OUT OF CHAIVA’S REACH, SHE GRABS HIM BY THE SHOULDERS BEFORE RIGHT-KNEEING HIS ABDOMEN; CHAIVA THEN HOPS OVER HER OPPONENT FOR A DOWNWARDS RIGHT-ELBOW, SLAMMING HWANINBUM INTO THE GROUND; SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO PUNCH HIM WITH ALTERNATING FISTS, ENLARGING THE NEWLY-FORMED CRATER WITH EVERY STRIKE>
<THE SCOREBOARD LIGHTS UP, AND CHAIVA IS DECLARED THE WINNER; THE CROWD GOES CRAZY; CUTS TO ONE OF THE LUXURY BOXES WHERE SOWRSPOT IS WATCHING CHAIVA’S FIGHT WITH HER RETINUE; SHE LOOKS RATHER PLEASED WITH HERSELF AS SHE SIPS A DRINK>
<CUTS BACK TO CHAIVA, WHO IS STILL PUMMELING HWANINBUM MERCILESSLY, EVEN AFTER HE HAS CLEARLY LOST CONSCIOUSNESS; SUDDENLY, HER COLLAR’S LIGHT TURNS RED AGAIN AND SHE FEELS A SHOCK, BRINGING HER TO HER KNEES AS SEVERAL ARENA BOTS FLY OVER TO ATTEND TO HIM; CHAIVA’S COLLAR CONTINUES TO ZAP HER UNTIL THEY TELEPORT THE ALIEN AWAY; SHE SITS UP, GRABBING HER NECK, BITING BACK THE URGE TO SCREAM AS SHE LOOKS AROUND AT ALL THE PEOPLE CHEERING FOR HER; THE SCOREBOARD, OF COURSE, NOW LISTS CHAIVA’S STATS AT 1-0>
- HZ came up with the concept for Hikain (as well as his species). I believe he also came up with most of Sowrspot's other gladiators in terms of names and designs.
- "FROM HER BOOTH, SOWRSPOT APPLAUDS POLITELY; HER LADIES ONLY START DOING THIS AFTER THEY REALIZE SHE HAS, ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A SECOND OR TWO PAUSE WHERE ONLY SOWRSPOT CLAPS; SWORSPOT TRIES TO WHISTLE, BUT HER LIPS ARE TOO DRY, SO SHE CAN’T" - with stuff like this, I tried to inject a little bit of awkward humor, as is my style, into the story, for I didn't want it to be tonally flat (only being a dramatic series, emotionally exhaustive in that way). I don't think HZ would put in something like this, but I also hope he doesn't dislike it. Dragon Ball was more comedic before King Piccolo's introduction, and I kind of miss that during most of DBZ and DBS (although Super did bring a little bit of it back, and Z did have Mr. Satan and the Great Saiyaman), so I tried to inject a little more of the "old flavor" of Dragon Ball into the prose whenever I could.
- Since Chaiva is fairly strong, it wasn't so bad to write her first few fights. She only needed a move or two to take out the gladiators. I tried to use combos when I could, but as stated before, I'm not an expert on her fighting style. It was a little stressful whenever I had to string more than two attacks together. HZ might've re-written some of my fights (I don't remember), but I think overall he was fairly satisfied with them.
- I didn't want Chaiva to be too overpowered, but her power level is already fairly high when she was captured, so it made sense to have her take out several of the weaker gladiators. This still allowed her room to grow, but importantly, she gives off an impressive first-impression to Hikain and Sowrspot, which is crucial for her development. Had she been the #16 or so in the group, I don't think she would have been given as many opportunities to succeed.
- Having Chaiva fight off the gladiators in a montage style allowed me to somewhat mask not knowing Chaiva's fighting style really well.
- The green guy that Chaiva defeats is probably a little underrated by Sowrspot's crew. He was the first to land a blow on her, and the guy ranked above him didn't so much as do that, so I think he should rank up, too.
- I tried to vary the ways that Chaiva knocks out each foe, for repetition is a most boring thing. She doesn't use the same finishing move twice. With that said, these fights go by so quickly that it doesn't really matter, but I still had to put a good amount of time into coming up with different ways for her to take out everyone. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do.
- Leima Bivo is a drink that appears a few times in The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization. It's mainly used by members of the "Order of Melrin", an underground nationalistic group intent upon setting Faeri free from the PTO. I still haven't resolved that plotline in PTO as of writing HMOC (or even as of doing this commentary), so I'm not sure if it's only them who drink that drink, but Sowrspot could very well be a member.
- I believe HZ told me that Jelsun would be someone whom Chaiva meets later on, so we set up his brutal takedown of her here to give her extra motivation the next time they see each other. Additionally, Chaiva learns just how ruthless the gladiators are after Jelsun refuses to acknowledge her concession. Overall, a very instructive moment for her.
- I came up with the specifics for League 2, such as the no killing rule and the general power level range for the fighters, during the making of this story (especially during chapter 2). That league did not show up in any previous story of mine. It was fun to be able to explore the lore of the Galactrix Arena here. I didn't think that the League 2 should allow killing, for otherwise, there would need to be millions of gladiators. It didn't make sense that so many capable warriors could exist in the universe, in my opinion, let alone having so many of them on Tuhak Ecli. Plus, the no killing rule allowed for Chaiva to lose some fights, which she is not able to in the Premier League. I didn't want her League 2 run to be entirely the same as her Premier League run.
- While the sparring sessions were valuable for me to get more comfortable with writing for Chaiva's fight scenes, it still felt like it would be best for HZ to write her first full fight in the arena, not only because he's better at that than me, but because this is his character and it's one of the most significant moments in her life. This is HZ's first major writing contribution to the story.
- I liked how HZ wrote Chaiva vs Hwaninbum. The brutality of his style was instructive for her, and his neck bite was the most memorable part. Very much sets the tone for the types of fights that will be coming up.
- Chaiva is somewhat mystified by the crowd at the end of the chapter, not knowing exactly whether she likes the praise or not. Of course, praise is good, but being trotted out as a slave to entertain paying customers has to be humiliating to some degree. I tried to keep her emotions understated, but present enough so that her distress and elation would be obvious.
Chapter 3: Rising Star
<CHAIVA IS FACING OFF AGAINST A CRIMSON BLOB-LIKE CREATURE WITH MULTIPLE TENTACLES, A PUBBO; THE CREATURE HAS ITS LIMBS WRAPPED AROUND CHAIVA, WHO IS GRABBING ONTO WHERE THE SHOULDERS WOULD BE WITH HER HANDS; SHE KNEES HER OPPONENT SEVERAL TIMES WITH HER RIGHT LEG UNTIL THE PUBBO LOOSENS HIS GRIP, AND THEN SHE RIGHT-VERTICAL-KICKS IT STRAIGHT UP; THE BLOB-LIKE CREATURE IMPACTS THE ENERGY-BUBBLE CEILING, CAUSING IT TO FLICKER, AND THEN FALLS BACK DOWN, UNCONSCIOUS; THE SCOREBOARD LISTS CHAIVA’S STATS AS 5-1>
<CUTS TO ANOTHER FIGHT WITH CHAIVA DEFEATING AN ORANGE FURRY ALIEN WITH A LONG NOSE, A THEKAR, WITH A RIGHT REVERSE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE ELECTRICAL WALLS, AND THE SCOREBOARD LISTS CHAIVA’S STATS AS 25-6; CUTS TO ANOTHER FIGHT, WITH CHAIVA KNOCKING OUT A YELLOW ALIEN WITH TUSKS, THREE EYES, SIX ARMS, AND DIGITGRADE LEGS, WHO IS ALREADY ON THE GROUND, WITH AN ELBOW DROP JUST BELOW THE STERNUM; THE SCOREBOARD LISTS HER STATS AS 67-7; CUTS TO YET ANOTHER FIGHT, WITH CHAIVA STRIKING A DODORIA-LIKE ALIEN WITH FEATHERS WITH A LEFT JAB FOLLOWED BY A RIGHT KNEE; CHAIVA THEN RAISES BOTH OF HER HANDS, LEFT HAND GRABBING RIGHT FIST, ABOVE HER HEAD IN PREPARATION FOR A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE>
<CUTS TO CHAIVA, NOW AN ADULT AND WEARING GALACTRIX GLADIATOR ARMOR, BRINGING HER DOUBLE AXE HANDLE DOWN ONTO A YELLOW LIZARD-LIKE ALIEN, WHO IS SUBSEQUENTLY SENT FLYING BACK (A MOVE THAT WILL BE CALLED THE MAMBA STRIKE); THE YEAR IS AGE 745; THE SCOREBOARD DISPLAYS THE NAME OF THE ALIEN: PUKCOLÄSIC; CHAIVA THROWS AN AURORA BOMB AT THE FLYING PUKCOLÄSIC, WHO CLAWS HIS RIGHT HAND INTO THE GROUND, STOPPING HIMSELF FROM GOING TOO FAR AND LANDING ON HIS FEET WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY DUCKING UNDER CHAIVA’S ENERGY SPHERE>
<BY THE TIME HE STANDS FULLY UPRIGHT, CHAIVA IS ALREADY UPON HIM WITH A RIGHT OVERHEAD HAMMERFIST; JUST AS SHE HITS PUKCO OVER THE TOP OF THE HEAD, SHE PLACES HER LEFT HAND BELOW HIS FACE AND FIRES OFF A SMALL AURORA BOMB (A MOVE THAT WILL NOW BE CALLED SLIDING AURORA MORTAR); THE RESULTING EXPLOSION VERTICALLY PROPELS CHAIVA’S OPPONENT AND SHE JUMPS UPWARDS AFTER HIM; CHAIVA FLIPS UPSIDE DOWN TO KICK PUKCO WITH BOTH HER LEGS, BUT HE TWISTS OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE FIRING OFF OFF A PAIR OF ORANGE-WHITE ENERGY WAVES, ONE FROM EACH HAND, PROPELLING HIMSELF BACK AND AWAY FROM THE BUBBLE CEILING WHILE ALSO BLASTING CHAIVA AWAY; AS THE LIZARD-LIKE ALIEN DESCENDS, SEVERAL AURORA SPHERES FLY THROUGH THE SMOKE OF HIS PRIOR ATTACK, EACH OF WHICH PUKCO DODGES>
<EVEN AFTER BOTH COMBATANTS HAVE LANDED, CHAIVA CONTINUES HER VOLLEY, LIGHTENING UP THE ENTIRE STADIUM; PUKCO JUMPS BETWEEN THE ENERGY SPHERES TO GET TO CHAIVA, WHO PROMPTLY HALTS HER ENERGY SPHERE VOLLEY AND JUMPS AT THE APPROACHING YELLOW ALIEN WITH A LEFT FLYING SIDE KICK KICK, WHICH CONNECTS; CHAIVA FOLLOWS UP WITH A RIGHT ROUNDHOUSE KICK, ANOTHER LEFT SIDE KICK, AND THEN A RIGHT VERTICAL KICK (A TECHNIQUE NOW KNOWN AS FLUTTERING VORTEX), THE FIRST OF WHICH HITS, BUT THE LATTER TWO OF WHICH PUKCO BACKS AWAY FROM; THE LIZARD-LIKE ALIEN FIRES AN ORANGE-WHITE ENERGY BLAST BEHIND HIM TO PREVENT HIMSELF FROM HITTING THE WALL, AND THEN LANDS BACK ON THE GROUND>
<CHAIVA RUNS AT PUKCO WITH ANOTHER RIGHT OVERHEAD HAMMERFIST, BUT THIS TIME, PUKCO SIDESTEPS; AS CHAIVA TURNS AROUND, THE YELLOW ALIEN TRIPS HER WITH A RIGHT SWEEPING REVERSE ROUNDHOUSE KICK AND IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS UP WITH A LEFT ROUNDHOUSE KICK; NOW CHAIVA’S TURN BEING SENT TO THE WALL, SHE STOPS HER MOMENTUM BY FIRING OFF A BLUE-WHITE ENERGY BLAST>
<THE MOMENT SHE IS BACK ON HER FEET, CHAIVA SEES PUKCO FLYING AT HER WHILE READYING A RIGHT PALM STRIKE; CHAIVA, HOWEVER, IS READY AND CATCHES HER OPPONENT BY THE WRIST AND THEN POSITIONS HERSELF BEHIND HIM BEFORE PINNING HIM IN A SLEEPER HOLD; CHAIVA THEN SPINS COUNTER-CLOCKWISE 180 DEGREES AS SHE SLAMS PUKCO INTO THE GROUND, SCRAPING HIM ACROSS IT; THE LIZARD-LIKE ALIEN ROLLS HIMSELF BACK ONTO HIS FEET TO SEE CHAIVA JUMPING AT HIM AGAIN; HE HIMSELF JUMPS STRAIGHT UP TO GET AWAY FROM HER, BUT SHE FOLLOWS HIM INTO THE AIR AND STRIKES HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A RIGHT AXE KICK, SENDING HIM BACK DOWN AND TOWARDS THE WALL BELOW>
<AN INTENSE ELECTRICAL CURRENT COURSES THROUGH PUKCO’S BODY AS CHAIVA LANDS BACK ON THE GROUND, AND THEN THE YELLOW ALIEN FALLS PRONE, UNCONSCIOUS; THE CROWD CHEERS AS THE SCOREBOARD DECLARES CHAIVA THE WINNER, UPDATING HER WIN/LOSS RECORD TO 523-47>
<ON THE GREAT FLOATING SCOREBOARD, CHAIVA’S NAME IS LISTED AS ‘MUKHTARI REGION CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER’; WHILE THE CROWD CHEERS AND BILLBOARD ADVERTISEMENTS FLOAT AROUND DESPERATELY IN FRONT OF THE TENS OF THOUSANDS GATHERED TO WATCH THIS FIGHT, PUKCO IS TELEPORTED OFF THE STAGE; BEFORE CHAIVA CAN SOAK IN THE MULTITUDES OF ALIENS CHEERING FOR HER, SHE TOO IS TELEPORTED AWAY>
<CUTS TO THE HOLDING CELLS; PUKCO’S MASTER IS BERATING HIM IN THE CORNER; HOWEVER, THE YELLOW ALIEN IS TOO TIRED TO LISTEN, AS HE IS SLUMPED OVER AGAINST THE ENERGY BARRIER INSIDE HIS HOLDING CAGE; INSIDE HER OWN CAGE, CHAIVA IS SHOWN LOOKING OUT AT SOWRSPOT, WHO IS FLANKED BY A PAIR OF FAERIN GUARDS>
Sowrspot: You had me worried there - leaving it until the last round. But you’ve finally done it, my Saiyan. Congratulations!
Chaiva: <LOOKING AWAY> Will I fight in the Premier League now?
Sowrspot: Why, of course, my dear. Being the winner of this season’s Mukhtari Championship qualifies you for the Premier League. You know what that means, don’t you? Look at me, girl.
Chaiva: <HASTILY> I might have to fight Hikain in a battle to the death.
Sowrspot: <LOOKING TO ONE OF HER GUARDS, HER FACE SCRUNCHED UP LIKE SHE HAD JUST EATEN EXPIRED SPACE TUNA> N-no… not exactly what I was thinking, girl, but I suppose you are right.
Chaiva: So he will be in next season’s Premier League?
Sowrspot: Naturally. He won this season’s Premier League, so he’ll have to defend his title. That is, unless a buyer steps in first. But don’t look so glum, dear. His - and yours, now - is the fate of all elite gladiators. The Prem is elegant that way: fighters win, or they die. There is no middle ground. 1024 fighters go in, and ten rounds later, only one of them remains. Do try to make me good money, dear. Try to reach the third round for me.
<SOWRSPOT AND HER GUARDS MARCH OFF; CHAIVA SIGHS, CRACKING HER KNUCKLES AND STARING OFF AT PUKCO AND HIS OWNER, WHO ARE STILL GOING AT IT; WHEN SHE LOOKS AWAY, THE CAMERA CUTS AWAY>
<CUTS TO SOWRSPOT’S TRAINING GROUNDS; CHAIVA AND HIKAIN ARE SHOWN TO BE SPARRING WITH EACH OTHER AWAY FROM THE REST OF GLADIATORS; THERE IS NOBODY IN THE AUDIENCE SEATS WATCHING THEM; CHAIVA HITS HIKAIN WITH A SPINNING KICK THAT KNOCKS HIM BACK; HE STOPS HIS MOMENTUM BY PIVOTING OFF THE GROUND WITH HIS LEFT ARM, ALLOWING HIM TO FLY BACK AT THE SAIYAN WITHOUT WARNING; CHAIVA ONLY MANAGES TO RAISE HALF A BLOCK BEFORE BEING BATTERED BACK; SHE TRIES TO KICK OUT HIS LEGS FROM UNDER HIM, BUT THE GEOMOGEO FRONT-FLIPS OVER HER, HEEL KICKS HER AWAY, AND TURNS, AND THROWS UP HIS HAND TO BLOCK CHAIVA’S DOUBLE-FIST LUNGE, AND KNEES HER IN THE GROIN>
<CHAIVA FALLS TO THE GROUND, BITING HER LIP IN PAIN; HIKAIN STEPS BACK, WIPING HIS FACE WITH A TOWEL BEFORE MOTIONING FOR HER TO STAND AGAIN>
Hikain: Not bad, #2, but if you’re going to compete in the Prem, you’re going to have to be faster than that. Let’s go again.
Chaiva: <NARROWING HER EYES AS SHE GETS TO HER FEET> Are you just testing me in case we meet in the next season?
Hikain: Not since we’re owned by the same wrinkly old Faerin. No, we can’t meet until the final.
Chaiva: So we could meet then…
Hikain: You have no chance of getting out of the first round with footwork like that. Now that’s enough stalling. We only have two weeks until the new Prem starts. Let’s go again!
<THE ALIEN LUNGES AT CHAIVA, WHO DODGES TO THE RIGHT; THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT, SHOWING ALL OF SOWRSPOT’S GLADIATORS SPARRING WITH ONE ANOTHER; HIKAIN AND CHAIVA FIGHT EACH OTHER RELENTLESSLY, NEVER USING ANYONE ELSE AS A SPARRING PARTNER; CUTS TO CHAIVA PUNCHING HIKAIN ACROSS THE JAW; SHE BACKS AWAY, DODGING A FLYING KICK WHILE PEPPERING HIM WITH ENERGY BLASTS; CUTS TO HIKAIN BATTERING CHAIVA WITH SEVERAL RIGHT HOOKS; SHE IS FAR MORE BRUISED AND SCRAPED UP COMPARED TO THE PREVIOUS SHOT; CHAIVA BACKS UP, SPITTING BLOOD, STRETCHING OUT HER JAW BEFORE RUNNING AT HIKAIN AGAIN; CUTS TO A SERIES OF RAPID CUTS BETWEEN HIKAIN AND CHAIVA FIGHTING IN THE ARENA, TRADING KICKS AND PUNCHES AND KI BLASTS; IN MOST OF THESE, HIKAIN OVERPOWERS CHAIVA, BUT SHE GETS SEVERAL GOOD HITS IN; REGARDLESS, AT THE END OF EVERY TRAINING SESSION, CHAIVA IS PUT IN A REJUVENATION TANK TO HEAL>
<AT THE END OF ONE SUCH TRAINING SESSION, IN WHICH IT IS NIGHTTIME AND THERE ARE NO OTHER GLADIATORS STILL OUT TRAINING SO LATE, THE CAMERA REMAINS WITH AN AERIAL VIEW OF THE TWO LEAVING THE TRAINING ARENA TO RETURN TO THEIR SLEEPING QUARTERS; AS THEY GET THERE, HIKAIN LOOKS AROUND SUSPICIOUSLY, THEN LEANS IN FOR A KISS, BRUSHING HIS LIPS AGAINST CHAIVA’S LIGHTLY AT FIRST; AS HE GOES TO PULL AWAY AND WALK TO HIS ROOM, CHAIVA PULLS HIM BACK FOR A SLIGHTLY LONGER KISS, BUT INDEED, AS THEY ARE SPOOKED BY THE NOISE OF A SPACE RAT RUMMAGING THROUGH GARBAGE, THE TWO HASTILY SPLIT APART AND BEGIN WALKING OFF TO THEIR OWN ROOMS; HOWEVER, AS HIKAIN REACHES THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM AND UNLOCKS IT, HE FEELS THE WIND STIRRING AND SPINS AROUND IN SURPRISE ONLY TO FIND CHAIVA STANDING THERE BEHIND HIM WITH A WRY SMILE ON HER FACE; AS HE GOES TO SPEAK, SHE COVERS HIS MOUTH WITH HER HAND AND PUSHES HIM INSIDE>
Hikain: <IN A HUSHED TONE, LOCKING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM> Chaiva, what are you doing? They could kill us if they found us in here together.
Chaiva: <SHRUGGING> We’re going to die soon, anyways. Let’s have a little fun before we do, alright?
<SHE APPROACHES HIM; HIKAIN GULPS AS THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON HIS FACE; HE IS SWEATING, BUT HE IS NOT NERVOUS>
<CUTS TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE>
<CHAIVA VERTICALLY LAUNCHES A DODORIA-LIKE ALIEN, AN UTTOVELM, WITH A SLIDING AURORA MORTAR; BEFORE THE UTTOVELM HITS THE ENERGY CEILING, CHAIVA THROWS AN AURORA BOMB FROM BELOW, VAPORIZING HER OPPONENT; CUTS TO HIKAIN, WHO SIDESTEPS TO THE LEFT FROM A THEKAR’S RIGHT PUNCH, GRABS HIS OPPONENT’S WRIST WITH HIS RIGHT HAND, AND THEN PULLS THE THEKAR TOWARDS HIM AS HE DESTROYS HIS OPPONENT’S HEAD WITH A LEFT STRAIGHT PUNCH; CUTS TO CHAIVA, WHO SENDS A HUMANOID WITH INSECT-LIKE FEATURES, A LEQIR, AWAY WITH A MAMBA STRIKE; AT THE OPPOSITE END OF THE ARENA IS A HOVERING AURORA BOMB, WHICH CHAIVA’S OPPONENT FLIES INTO, DETONATING BOTH THE ENERGY SPHERE AND THE LEQIR’S BODY; CUTS TO HIKAIN, WHO DECAPITATES A FOUR-ARMED FURRY ALIEN WITH WEBBED FINGERS, A HEOLIK, WITH A RIGHT FLYING FRONT SNAP KICK>
<CUTS TO CHAIVA, WHO IS FACING OFF AGAINST YET ANOTHER UTTOVELM, DROPKICKING HER OPPONENT THREE TIMES IN A ROW, WITH THE THIRD CAUSING THE BULKY ALIEN’S TORSO TO CAVE IN; CUTS TO HIKAIN, WHO SLAPS AWAY THE RIGHT FRONT KICK OF HIS OPPONENT, A TALL HUMANOID ALIEN WITH YELLOW SKIN, TO THE LEFT WITH HIS RIGHT HAND, AND THEN IN ONE SWIFT SUCCESSION WITH THE SAME HAND, HE STRIKES HIS OPPONENT IN THE GROIN WITH A RISING HAMMERFIST, ELBOWS THE OPPONENT’S STERNUM, AND THEN BACKHANDS THE OPPONENT’S ACROSS THE FACE, SNAPPING HIS NECK; CUTS TO CHAIVA, WHO IS FACING OFF AGAINST A CAT-LIKE HUMANOID WITH AQUA FUR AND BLACK STRIPES, A NYARIN, FLYING AT HER; CHAIVA THROWS AN AURORA BOMB AT THE GROUND BELOW THE NYARIN, BLASTING THE CAT-LIKE ALIEN UPWARDS; FROM BELOW, CHAIVA JUMPS UP AT THE NYARIN WITH AN UPWARDS DROPKICK, WHICH BISECTS THE CAT-LIKE ALIEN AT THE WAIST; CUTS TO HIKAIN, WHO IS FACING OFF AGAINST A RAPTOR-LIKE OPPONENT WHO LOOKS LIKE CLEN, A CYREN, WHICH CLAWS AT THE GEOMOGEO WITH HIS RIGHT HAND; HIKAIN STOPS THE CYREN’S CLAW WITH AN OUTWARD BLOCK OF HIS LEFT HAND, AND THEN USES THIS HAND TO PULL THE RAPTOR’S HEAD INTO HIS RIGHT ELBOW, CRUSHING IT IN AN ORANGE-WHITE EXPLOSION (A TECHNIQUE WE WILL NOW CALL THE HEAD MUSHER)>
<CUTS TO HIKAIN AND CHAIVA, BOTH OF WHOM ARE STANDING IN THE SAME ARENA; ABOVE THEM, ON THE FLOATING ARENA SCOREBOARD, IS A NOTICE THAT SAYS: ‘PREMIER LEAGUE FINALS: HIKAIN VS. CHAIVA!’; THE CROWD IS GOING ABSOLUTELY MENTAL; THE TWO WARRIORS ARE STANDING APART FROM ONE ANOTHER, THOUGH NEITHER HAS ASSUMED A FIGHTING STANCE>
Hikain: <CHUCKLING, IN SPITE OF HIMSELF> I guess ironic isn’t exactly the right word for this, is it?
Chaiva: <BITING HER LIP AGAIN, VOICE QUAVERING> Fight with honor, Hikain. Don’t go easy on me.
Hikain: Heh, no problems there. It’s you I gotta worry about! Don’t throw the fight! I’ll know if you do! They’ll kill us both if-
Chaiva: <BLINKING RAPIDLY; APPROACHING HIKAIN> Goodbye.
- HZ wrote the majority of this chapter. I believe this is the only chapter of HMOC that that is true for.
- The process for writing this story was well-illustrated in this chapter. HZ wrote whatever he knew he could write without much trouble, so a lot of Chaiva's fights were his content for that reason. I wrote all the connecting scenes and dialogue. It was nice not to have to stress out about coming up with some complicated, beautiful combos for Chaiva, even if as a kid, she isn't based on a smash character. With that said, the sparring that I wrote between Hikain and Chaiva was difficult because she was 18 at the time. I think that technically makes her adult Chaiva, but not 100% sure on that. I'm positive that HZ assisted me on how to write her combos if that was the case.
- Pukco was chosen to fight Chaiva because he will be a major villain Heart of the Dragon. Having some prior history between the characters makes for a more interesting reunion. Also, the fact that Chaiva destroys Pukco would leave him feeling raw and having a very poor opinion of her, which gives him extra motivation to play dirty during HOTD.
- On this re-read, I was a bit surprised at how easily Chaiva dominated Pukco. He barely landed any hits.
- The way that Sowrspot deals with Chaiva is a stark reminder that she is a slave, a mere commodity for the noblewoman to use as she wishes. Since Chaiva is much older by this part, I didn't want her to react in a headstrong or emotional way. She's been through this kind of stuff too many times already. Her victory over Pukco is thus bittersweet, for she knows that she has a very small chance of getting out of the Premier League alive. Not that she can really do anything about it, though. As Chaiva became a better warrior, stronger and more experienced, her agency suffered in an almost completely opposite way. There had to be some consequence for getting this strong, but more so than that, it was not ideal to have her go through the Galactrix Arena completely mentally unaffected.
- I wanted to set up Hikain's relationship with Chaiva just a little bit before she kills him, to give that scene a little emotional weight. We probably could've written more scenes with the two of them, but in the long run, that didn't seem overly relevant to the story.
- Hikain really beat the shit out of Chaiva during their sparring sessions, which was an error on his part, for she ended up getting enough quasi-zenkais to become stronger than him.
- The romance subplot was HZ's idea. It makes sense, given that they believe they could die at any time. I like how Chaiva doesn't care if anyone finds them. That's very much what I'd expect of her in a situation like that - one last, small rebellion against those who have enslaved her.
- Writing Chaiva's last words to Hikain was not particularly easy. I didn't want to go overboard, but wanted to show that she cared for him. It was a tight rope to walk. He tries to joke with her to relieve the tension, but really, he's feeling just as bad about the matchup as she is. Chaiva, on the other hand, cannot bring herself to joke, for she doesn't want to become emotional. She has to have a clear head to fight at her best. A mix of strategy and coping was going on here for both characters.
Chapter 4: Champion of the Arena
<CHAIVA THROWS A QUICK ONE-HANDED AURORA BOMB AT HIKAIN, WHO JUMPS OVER IT AND THROWS A BLUE-WHITE ENERGY BALL OUT OF HIS RIGHT HAND AT CHAIVA LIKE A BASEBALL; CHAIVA BLOCKS THE SPHERE WITH A BLUE ENERGY SHIELD AND THEN LEAPS FORWARD WITH BOTH HANDS EXTENDED IN FRONT OF HER, ALL FINGERS POINTED AT HIKAIN, INTENDING TO DOUBLE-SPEARHAND HIS LEGS; THE GEOMOGEO BACKS AWAY FROM CHAIVA, CAUSING HER HANDS TO EMBED THEMSELVES INTO THE GROUND, BUT SHE IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO A FORWARD ROLL TOWARDS HIKAIN AND PREPARES A RIGHT OVERHEAD HAMMERFIST WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CHARGING UP A SMALL AURORA BOMB IN HER LEFT HAND; HIKAIN BLOCKS CHAIVA’S FIST WITH HIS RIGHT FOREARM AS SHE THROWS HER ENERGY SPHERE STRAIGHT UP; THE GEOMOGEO IMMEDIATELY RESPONDS WITH A SIMULTANEOUS RIGHT BACKHAND TO HER FACE AND LEFT SNAP KICK TO HER ABDOMEN; AS CHAIVA IS PUSHED BACK, HER AURORA SPHERE COMES DOWN ONTO HIKAIN’S HEAD AND DETONATES IN A COLORFUL EXPLOSION>
<WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS, HIKAIN LETS OUT A QUICK SIGH AS IF ACKNOWLEDGING THAT HE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE ATTACK COMING; CHAIVA, WHO WAS ALREADY ON HER FEET, THRUSTS HER RIGHT KNEE AT HIKAIN, WHO STOPS IT WITH HIS RIGHT PALM AND THEN PUNCHES CHAIVA RIGHT IN THE MOUTH WITH HIS LEFT FIST; ONLY FLINCHING SLIGHTLY FROM HIKAIN’S PUNCH, CHAIVA THROWS A LEFT JAB AT HIM, BUT HE CATCHES HER WRIST WITH HIS LEFT HAND THAT WAS ALREADY OUTSTRETCHED, PULLS HER TOWARDS HIM, AND THEN THROWS A RIGHT RISING HAMMERFIST INTO HER GROIN; CHAIVA IS PROMPTLY SENT UPWARD AND HIKAIN CHARGES UP AN ENERGY SPHERE IN EACH HAND AND THEN THROWS THEM RIGHT AFTER LEFT AT CHAIVA, WHO TWISTS OUT OF THE WAY OF BOTH BLASTS; BY THE TIME CHAIVA LANDS, HIKAIN GOES IN FOR A RIGHT STRAIGHT PUNCH, BUT CHAIVA CATCHES HIS WRIST, GETS BEHIND HIM, AND HOLDS HIM IN A REAR NAKED CHOKE; SHE SUPLEXES HIM INTO A CRATER AND RELEASES HIM ON IMPACT, ALTHOUGH HE ATTEMPTS TO ROLL AWAY SHORTLY AFTER BEING SLAMMED INTO THE GROUND; CHAIVA REACHES OUT AND CATCHES HIKAIN TO PUT HIM IN A REAR NAKED CHOKE ONCE MORE; THIS TIME, HE TWISTS TO THE RIGHT AND THRUSTS HIS RIGHT ELBOW INTO CHAIVA’S FACE, BREAKING HER GRIP AND FLINGING HER BACK INTO THE AIR>
<AS CHAIVA COMES BACK DOWN, SHE THROWS OUT A FLUTTERING VORTEX, ALL OF WHICH HIKAIN DODGE; CHAIVA THEN JABS AT THE GEOMOGEO WITH HIS LEFT FIST, BUT AS WITH THE CYREN HIKAIN INTERCEPTS CHAIVA’S FIST WITH THE BACK OF HIS LEFT HAND AND TRANSITIONS INTO A HEAD MUSHER; CHAIVA’S HEAD, MUCH MORE DURABLE THAN THE CYREN’S, IS NOT CRUSHED BY THE ATTACK, WHICH HIKAIN EXPECTS, SO HE TRIPS CHAIVA WITH HIS RIGHT LEG IN AN OUTWARD SWEEP AS HE SLAMS HER HEAD INTO THE GROUND; HIKAIN TRIES TO FOLLOW UP WITH A DOWNWARD RIGHT PUNCH, BUT CHAIVA IS ABLE TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY AND END UP BEHIND HIKAIN; THE SAIYAN PERFORMS A MAMBA STRIKE, KNEEING HIKAIN IN THE BACK AND CLUBBING HIM OVER THE HEAD, SENDING HIM TOWARDS THE WALL; HIKAIN, ONCE RECOVERED FROM THE PAIN, FIRES AN ENERGY WAVE IN THE DIRECTION OF THE WALL TO STOP HIMSELF FROM COLLIDING WITH THE INVISIBLE ELECTRIC FENCE; HOWEVER, CHAIVA IS ALREADY PREPARED FOR WHAT HIKAIN JUST DID AND KICKS HIM IN THE ANKLES WITH A RIGHT SWEEPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK, SENDING HIM INTO WHAT HE HAD JUST TRIED TO AVOID; AS WITH OTHER GLADIATORS WHO HIT THE ENERGY BUBBLE, INCREDIBLY VIOLENT ENERGY COURSES THROUGH HIKAIN’S BODY FOR SEVERAL SECONDS>
<HIKAIN FALLS AWAY FROM THE WALL AND ONTO HIS KNEES, EXHAUSTED; CHAIVA WALKS UP TO HIM AND PLACES HER PALM JUST IN FRONT OF HIS HEAD, WITH HER LEFT ARM GRABBING HER RIGHT BICEP; HIKAIN LOOKS UP AT CHAIVA AND NODS IN ACCEPTANCE OF HIS DEFEAT; CHAIVA UNLEASHES A MASSIVE BLUE-WHITE ENERGY WAVE OUT OF HER PALM, LIGHTING UP THE ENTIRE ARENA, BLINDING THE MAJORITY OF THE SPECTATORS; WHEN THE SAIYAN’S FINISHING ATTACK DISSIPATES, THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF THE GEOMOGEO>
<CHAIVA LOOKS AROUND AT THE ROARING CROWDS OF SPACE ALIENS; A MINORITY PORTION OF THEM START A RAGGED CHANT OF HER NAME (MISPRONOUNCING IT, OF COURSE), BUT BEFORE SHE CAN SOAK IT ALL IN, SHE IS ONCE AGAIN TELEPORTED BACK TO HER HOLDING CAGE>
<WEARY FROM THE BATTLE, CHAIVA SITS ON THE FLOOR WITH HER KNEES UP, WHICH SHE RESTS HER HEAD UPON; SHE HAS HARDLY THIRTY SECONDS OF PEACE BEFORE THE SOUND OF SEVERAL PAIRS OF BOOTS ENTERING THE ROOM CAUSES HER HEAD TO JERK UP; SHE LOOKS UP ONLY TO SEE HER OWNER APPROACHING, AND INSTANTLY LOWERS HER HEAD AGAIN, NOT NOTICING THE OTHER MEN FOLLOWING HER AND HER GUARDS (THIS TIME SIX OF THEM - ALL FAERETH, NATURALLY) - NITRO, IN HIS GARGOYLE-LIKE THIRD FORM, AND THE SCHOLAR-IMP, KIRKA>
Sowrspot: <WITH A GLOWING SMILE> Oh, marvelous, Chaiva! You’ve done so well for me tonight! I’ve made a fortune, oh it’s, hic, wonderful! I’ll be celebrating all night. <SHE HOLDS UP A BOTTLE OF CHEAP SPACE WINE THAT IS CLEARLY MISSING ITS CAP> And look at this, even more good news! It appears we may have a buyer… a non-Galactrix-affiliated one, at that.
<CHAIVA’S HEAD SHOOTS UP AGAIN AND SHE LOCKS EYES WITH NITRO, WHO IS SMIRKING COOLLY AT HER; THE SAIYAN GIRL’S FACE GOES PALE>
Chaiva: <IN SHOCK> Y-you…! It’s you!
Nitro: <AMUSED, BUT OBLIVIOUS> Ah, it appears you’ve heard of Emperor Nitro after all. See, Kirka, all across the universe they know my name… even in lawless cesspits such as this.
Kirka: <TAPPING AT A WRIST-PAD> Sire, considering this gladiator is a Saiyan who - if her bio is to be believed - grew up in your brother’s region, I think it’s perfectly normal that she might know who you are.
<NITRO GROWLS AT KIRKA, CAUSING THE OTHER TO WHIMPER>
Chaiva: <IN A RAGE> You bastard! You’re the one who ki-
Sowrspot: <VOICE CRACKING, JOWLS SHAKING> That’s quite enough out of you! <TURNING BACK TO NITRO, LOWERING HER VOICE> I do apologize, my good… emperor. Pit fighters should never backtalk their masters! Please forgive me for my beast’s rudeness. She’s only a monkey. They are prone to being feisty.
Nitro: So I’ve heard.
Sowrspot: You can keep her collar if you wish… it may help control her.
Nitro: <STARING AT THE GIRL WRITHING IN PAIN ON THE FLOOR INSIDE HER CELL> I won’t need it. She’ll learn proper manners soon enough.
Sowrspot: You know, I heard the Saiyan homeworld was destroyed not long ago… there aren’t many of these left out there. You walk out now… not sure you’ll ever find a quality Saiyan like her ever again. She could be the last one of them monkeys to ever win a Prem.
Kirka: You want to sell her now because you’ll get maximum profits. If you have to enter her in another season of this league, she could die at any time, and all that valuable potential will be gone in a flash.
Nitro: Shut up, Kirka.
<KIRKA WHIMPERS AND BOWS>
Sowrspot: <SMILING WIDE> Let me tell you what… you look like a handsome Arcosian, has anyone ever told you that? What can I do-
Nitro: You’re pushing your luck, Faerin.
Sowrspot: <GLANCING AT HER GUARDS IN AGITATION> Alright, alright! How’s three million sound?
Nitro: <STIFFENS IN DISGUST> Three million?! Are you out of your mind, you old space bat?
Sowrspot: She’s a Prem League Champion with an impeccable record! And she’s a member of an endangered species! She’s a valuable warrior. I certainly can’t let her go for less than that. <FOLDS HER ARMS, LOOKING AWAY IMPUDENTLY> No, no, no. That won’t do.
Nitro: I could buy a tropical planet paradise for that price. Outrageous. You’re insulting my intelligence.
Kirka: K-king Nitro…
Nitro: Shut up, Kirka! Another word out of you, and I’ll leave you as a burn mark on the floor.
<THE OCARAN GULPS AND COWERS, BOWING AGAIN WITH SOME SHAKING>
Sowrspot: Hmph. <SHE STICKS HER NOSE UP AT HIM> You won’t even dare to counter-offer? What kind of a negotiator are you? You call yourself an emperor?
Nitro: I was going to offer five hundred thousand… but now…
<WITHOUT WARNING, NITRO SHOOTS RED EYE LASERS THAT EXTEND SEVERAL METERS OUTWARDS FROM HIS FACE BUT DO NOT FIRE OFF; BEFORE ANYONE CAN REACT, NITRO LOOKS FROM LEFT TO RIGHT, AND IN SO DOING, DECAPITATES SOWRSPOT AND HER GUARDS>
<AT ONCE, THE ROOM’S LIGHTS GO RED, AND AN ALARM STARTS BLARING NOISELY THROUGHOUT THE ROOM; NITRO KICKS THE REMOTE FROM THE LIFELESS HAND OF SOWRSPOT, THEN CRUSHES IT UNDER HIS HEEL; THEN, HE SHOOTS A PURPLE FINGER BEAM AT CHAIVA’S CELL, BLOWING A HOLE IN IT; HE REACHES IN AND VIOLENTLY PULLS HER OUT BY THE HAIR, SETTING HER DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM>
<CHAIVA STARES UP AT NITRO WITH HATRED IN HER EYES>
Nitro: <LOOKING AROUND NONCHALANTLY> It looks like they’ll be coming for us. We better get moving. I am Emperor Nitro, and I am your new master, monkey. You will obey me, or you will end up like them.
<NITRO NODS TO THE CORPSES, WHICH ARE BLEEDING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE>
Chaiva: <IN HER MIND> He doesn’t recognize me…
Nitro: Swear loyalty to me this instant, or die.
<HE POINTS AT CHAIVA, A TINY PURPLE BALL OF KI JUST BEGINNING TO FORM AT HIS FINGERTIP; AFTER TAKING A DEEP BREATH AND CLOSING HER EYES, CHAIVA OPENS THEM AGAIN AND FALLS TO ONE KNEE>
Chaiva: <SPEAKING AWKWARDLY AND SLOWLY, AS IF SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S DOING> I, um, swear to serve you, my emperor, without question, um, loyally, for the remainder of my days.
Nitro: <SMIRKING; HE REACHES FORWARD, GRABS HER COLLAR, AND RIPS IT OFF CHAIVA’S NECK, SIMULTANEOUSLY MAKING HER STAND AGAIN IN ONE MOTION> Good. For a monkey, you’re not that stupid. You’ll be of use to me in the wars to come, I suspect.
<IN THE DISTANCE, THE WHIRRING OF SECURITY BOTS CAN BE HEARD; NITRO SHOOTS A FATTER FINGER BEAM INTO THE CEILING, BLOWING A HOLE THROUGH IT, AND THEN FLIES OUT; KIRKA GLANCES AT CHAIVA, GIVING HER A BEADY-EYED LOOK BEFORE FLYING OFF AFTER NITRO; CHAIVA LOOKS DOWN THE HALL, SEEING THE GALACTRIX SECURITY APPROACHING; AFTER A MOMENT’S HESITATION, SHE FOLLOWS KIRKA OUT THE HOLE>
<CUTS TO PLANET NITRO 01>
<THE CAMERA FLIES OVER NITRO’S CAPITAL CITY, SHOWING DOZENS OF BUILDINGS AND SKYSCRAPERS; ZOOMING IN ON ONE SUCH SKYSCRAPER, THE CAMERA CUTS INSIDE THE TOWER, AT THE TOP FLOOR, WHERE NITRO IS PACING BEFORE A WINDOW LOOKING OUT OVER THE REST OF THE CITY>
Nitro: … I need it done soon, before she has a chance to die on me. Tell me, Nroop, is such a thing possible?
<THE CAMERA CUTS TO A DIFFERENT ANGLE FROM BEHIND NITRO’S SHOULDER, REVEALING A GEOMOGEO IN PLANET TRADE ORGANIZATION ARMOR AND A CAPE STANDING BEHIND A DATABASE TERMINAL; THIS ONE IS NOTICEABLY YOUNGER THAN HIKAIN AND POSSESSES AN OCULAR IMPLANT IN PLACE OF HIS LEFT EYE>
Nroop: <CALMLY; LOOKING DOWN AT THE TERMINAL SCREEN AS HE SCROLLS THROUGH IT> It’s never been done before, emperor, as far as I can tell. I can’t guarantee success. <NITRO GIVES HIM A RANCOROUS LOOK> I-I-I will try my best - do whatever I can!
Nitro: You’ll do more than that. Should you fail in your task… <TURNS TO FACE NROOP SUDDENLY, TAIL TWITCHING IMPATIENTLY> well, you’re a genius, I’ve been told. You’re smart enough to know what’ll happen should you fail.
Nroop: <TRYING TO REMAIN CALM, BUT NOT BEING SO SUCCESSFUL AT THAT> As you command, my king. I will complete my task.
Nitro: <SLAPS HIS TAIL ON THE GROUND AS HE WALKS OVER TO THE TABLE TO POUR HIMSELF A GLASS OF THE FINEST ICE WINE> Take the blood samples only after she returns from her combat assignments. I would prefer if she were unconscious when you do it, but that may not be possible.
Nroop: Here’s to hoping she gets beat to a pulp on her next mission!
Nitro: <PLACES HIS EMPTY WINE GLASS ON THE TABLE, GAZES AT NROOP FOR A MOMENT, THEN STOPS, BUT DOES NOT TURN BACK AROUND> You are not to tell anyone. No one can find out about this.
Nroop: They won’t, my king.
Nitro: She is by all accounts the last female Saiyan in existence. Nroop,l make sure she is treated with the best of care. It is ironic, I suppose, that it was my own brother who tried to exterminate them. But they are warriors - known throughout the universe for their strength and stubbornness. They have a certain ferality to them that my own species does not possess. This will be done. Do you understand me?
Nroop: Yes sir, of course sir.
Nitro: She is not to know about any of this - she can never know. I will require her loyalty and strength if I am to succeed in invading the Mrovian Empire. You will not jeopardize that for me, scientist.
<NROOP BOWS, NOT SHAKING TOO BAD; NITRO’S TAIL WIGGLES ABOUT IN WILD IRRITATION AS THE CAMERA PANS BACK AND SLOWLY FADES TO BLACK>
- Hikain vs Chaiva was certainly the highlight fight of the story so far. Good combos from HZ, and I especially liked how each character reacted with pragmatism after taking a punishing blow. They were each aggressive, but not reckless, and it felt like the fight could have gone either way until Hikain pressed his advantage slightly too much after his Head Musher attack. Such a small error to make, but this is the highest level, so there's no excuses. Not sure if HZ intended that or not, but I think it was a great move to write the ending out like that.
- Perhaps the crowd who mispronounced Chaiva thought her name was "chay-vah" or something similar. Dunno, it's not that easy to mispronounce her name. This bit of mild humor was meant to reinforce the bittersweet nature of Chaiva's victory. I'm sure it's not what she imagined when dreaming of this day.
- Sowrspot is, of course, a horrible no good rotten drunk.
- Writing the scene where Nitro purchases Chaiva was satisfying, for it tied up her arc starting since the first chapter of the Nitro saga. It suddenly becomes apparent how important it was that Chaiva saw Nitro in the first chapter, that she knew exactly who killed Cuber's brother. And of course, she can't say anything, for her collar will shock her if she does. It was very convenient to have her meet Nitro under these circumstances. It's almost like we planned it, or something.
- Kirka and Nitro together isn't something that was seen very often in either Hyper Zergling or my stories. I had fun coming up with the dynamics of their relationship in this chapter. Kirka does his best to keep the good emperor humble, and though Nitro gets annoyed by his attitude, he sort of puts up with it, which implies that this kind of back and forth has been going on between them for many years. Kirka was less authoritative with Nitro than with Yuki, though that's not to say he acted with casual indifference around his lord.
- Sowrspot's age was probably a leading factor in Nitro being pissed off by her compliments to his physical appearance. She's also drunk, so she's acting really reckless right there. A bad move on her part. She's really overextending.
- Sowrspot, being a member of Cooler's Empire, should have known better. Alcohol is a helluva drug.
- Yuki was one of our ideas that we originally didn't put that much depth of thought into. Going back to re-write CV was one way of expanding her character. But before we got there, this story had to be completed. Thus, there was an opportunity to show how Nitro comes up with the idea for his daughter and how Nroop goes about executing that idea. Not the most difficult scene for me to write, but it wasn't the easiest thing, either. I didn't want Nitro to appear insane with his request. He had to approach it in a cool, collected way to make it seem less crazy of an idea.
- It was a unique experience writing for Nitro. I think I did alright with the dialogue, but it's always tough when dealing with another user's character. His speech is somewhat similar to Frieza and Cooler's, though I tried to differentiate him in some ways. The way he acts with his servants is overtly similar to them, but there's also an implied desperation and impatience when he talks to them. He's the youngest brother with the smallest kingdom. He's living in his brothers' shadows to some extent, so to make a name for himself, he has to go above and beyond what would be expected. That is part of the reason why he takes the Yuki project so seriously. He sees an opportunity to outdo his brothers, and to be honest, he's entirely correct, for Yuki becomes far stronger than Frieza and Cooler's offspring.
Chapter 5: The Jealous Partner
<THREE SPACE PODS ARE SEEN ENTERING THE ATMOSPHERE OF A DESERT WORLD; CUTS TO THE SURFACE; GENERAL FASSFU, THE RED-SKINNED ARCE-ALBUMIAN WHO IS WEARING PTO ARMOR IN RED COLORING WITH YELLOW LINING AND A BLUE JUMPSUIT, IS HOVERING HIGH IN THE SKY, WATCHING CHAIVA THROUGH HIS RED SCOUTER; HIS ARMS ARE CROSSED>
<THE CAMERA SHOWS THE LIVE FEED OF HIS SCOUTER FOR A MOMENT, SHOWING CHAIVA FLYING BELOW, WITH ANOTHER ARCE-ALBUMIAN, FEMALE AND WITH SHORT BLACK HAIR, WEARING THE PAULDRON VARIANT OF PTO ARMOR COLORED ALMOST ENTIRELY BLACK, FLYING BESIDE HER; THE TWO APPROACH AN ABANDONED PTO OUTPOST, MANY OF THE BUILDINGS RIDDLED BY BURN MARKS, SHATTERED WINDOWS, AND SEVERAL COLLAPSED WALLS; AS THEY APPROACH, HOWEVER, A YELLOW KI BALL GOES FLYING PAST CHAIVA, BARELY MISSING HER HEAD; SHE PAUSES FOR A MOMENT, THEN DIVES TO THE RIGHT, WHILE HER COMPANION FLIES TO THE LEFT>
<A SPACE PIRATE, WEARING NON-IMPERIAL ARMOR, SHOOTS UP FROM A WINDOWLESS BUILDING, APPROACHING KAESH, BUT SHE SIMPLY REMOVES HER SCOUTER AND SHOOTS A BLUE-WHITE EYE BEAM AT THE BUGGER; HE PROMPTLY EXPLODES; THE PIRATES UNLEASH A WAVE OF ENERGY BLASTS FROM MULTIPLE BUILDINGS, FIRING AT BOTH SOLDIERS; CHAIVA AND KAESH WEAVE BETWEEN THE INCOMING BLASTS, DODGING THEM WITH SHOWMANSHIP, WHILE STARING AT EACH OTHER; CHAIVA DOESN’T BETRAY A HINT OF EMOTION; KAESH, WHOSE EYES ARE GLOWING BRIGHT BLUE, IS CLEARLY ANNOYED, AND SPEEDS UP, EFFORTLESSLY REACHING THE OUTPOST BEFORE THE SAIYAN; AS SOON AS SHE COMES TO A STOP, THE ARCE-ALBUMIAN UNLEASHES ANOTHER, BUT MORE POWERFUL BLUE-WHITE EYE BEAM THAT ARCS FROM ONE END OF THE CITY TO THE OTHER, CUTTING THROUGH ALL OF THE BUILDINGS AT NO HIGHER THAN THE THIRD FLOOR>
<A MOMENT LATER, THE BUILDINGS EXPLODE; CHAIVA, NOW HAVING NOTHING TO DODGE, FLIES RIGHT OVER TO KAESH, WHO IS SMIRKING TRIUMPHANTLY AT THE SAIYAN>
Kaesh: Looks like you weren’t needed this time.
Chaiva: <REALIZING WHAT KAESH DID, BRINGING OUT HER ANGER> You should have left some of them for me!
Kaesh: <SHRUGS> There’s always the next outpost. But don’t worry yet, monkey… <LOOKING UP AT THE SKY, WHICH IS CLOUDLESS; A BURNING STAR CAN BE SEEN IN THE SKY> this system’s star is yellow. But I’m not complaining. I take it as a challenge - like wearing weighted clothing. But it’s only fair when I’m paired up with you to give you this sense of hope. Savor it for now, monkey.
<FASSFU APPEARS IN THE AIR OVERHEAD AND WHISTLES, GETTING THEIR ATTENTION INSTANTLY>
Chaiva: <CLICKING HER SCOUTER TO REFOCUS ITS TARGET, THEN KICKING OFF INTO THE AIR> Looks like you left some stragglers! Hah! Don’t worry, I’ll clean up your mess.
<KAESH SWEARS UNDER HER BREATH AND FOLLOWS CHAIVA INTO THE AIR; THEY DASH TOWARDS THE SMOLDERING RUINS OF THE OUTPOST; THE CAMERA PANS BACK, SHOWING SEVERAL SURVIVING SPACE PIRATES FLEEING FROM THE OUTPOST IN ALL DIRECTIONS, MANY OF THEM IN THE AIR; AS THE SCREEN FADES OUT, SEVERAL FLASHES OF LIGHT - BLUE-WHITE AND ORANGE-WHITE - OVERTAKE THE DARK SPECKS OF THE PIRATES, ELIMINATING THEM SWIFTLY>
<CUTS TO PLANET NITRO 01; THE CAMERA CUTS INTO NROOP’S LAB; NROOP, WEARING HIS FINEST ARMOR, IS INSPECTING CHAIVA, WHO IS WEARING NOTHING BUT UNDERWEAR, FOLLOWING THE EVENTS OF HER LAST MISSION; HER BODY IS MOSTLY FINE, ASIDE FROM A FEW CUTS AND BRUISES HERE AND THERE; NEVERTHELESS, THE DOCTOR IS LOOKING HER OVER CAREFULLY, EVEN GOING SO FAR AS TO STICK HER IN THE ARM WITH A NEEDLE AND COLLECT A SAMPLE OF HER BLOOD>
Chaiva: What was that for?
Nroop: This is standard procedure for all of King Nitro’s elites… just to make sure you haven’t picked up any alien viruses that could harm you or the others.
Chaiva: Oh, alright.
Nroop: <CONTINUING TO INSPECT HER BODY; HE REACHES HER TAIL; AS HE IS LOOKING IT OVER FOR ANY CUTS, HE BECOMES SURPRISED THAT SHE IS NOT REACTING> Do you feel that?
Chaiva: What? Is something wrong with my tail?
<SHE FLEXES IT, WRAPPING IT AROUND NROOP’S WRIST>
Nroop: <STILL SURPRISED> No, not at all. It’s just curious… I was under the impression that a Saiyan’s tail is extremely sensitive… that it hurts quite a bit to be squeezed.
Chaiva: <NONCHALANTLY> Sensitive spots are weak spots. I toughened up my tail years ago.
Nroop: <SMILING AWKWARDLY> A wise move. <HE STANDS UP, PULLING AWAY, AND SHE UNWRAPS HER HER TAIL FROM HIS ARM TO PREVENT HERSELF FROM BEING DRAGGED OFF THE EXAMINATION TABLE> In any case, you are perfectly healthy. You are free to resume your duties, Chaiva.
Chaiva: <PUTTING ON HER CHEST ARMOR, THEN GOING FOR HER BOOTS> As you command, my lord.
Nroop: I’m not a- <HE PAUSES, SWALLOWING, AND THEN TILTS HIS HEAD, RAISING HIS EYEBROWS> N-nothing. Forget it. You may go.
<CUTS TO A DESERT WORLD; A PIRATE OUTPOST, BUILT IN THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN, BEING SEVERAL THOUSAND METERS (ROUGHLY A THIRD OF THE WAY) UP; THE CAMERA SHOWS A WIDE SHOT OF THE DESERT AT NIGHT; IN THE DISTANCE, A BUS-SIZED FLYING MANTA-RAY-LIKE ALIEN IS GLIDING THROUGH THE MOONLIGHT>
<THE PIRATES ARE ROUGHLY FORTY TO FIFTY STRONG, AND THERE ARE FIRES GOING IN FRONT OF ALMOST EVERY TENT; FROM THIS DISTANCE, THEY ARE BARELY LARGER THAN CANDLES; SUDDENLY, KAESH AND CHAIVA ENTER FROM THE UPPER LEFT CORNER OF THE SCREEN, FLYING INTO VIEW AS THEY DESCEND FROM THE UPPER ATMOSPHERE; SOON, THEY BECOME LITTLE MORE THAN DOTS AS THEY APPROACH THEIR PREY>
<THE CAMERA ABRUPTLY CUTS TO A JOLEAN PIRATE WHO IS PISSING OUTSIDE OF HIS TENT, A SAVORY SPACE KEBOB HELD IN ONE HAND AS HE RELIEVES HIMSELF ALL OVER THE CLIFF, THE SPLASH DAMAGE OF HIS PISS FALLING DOWN UPON ANOTHER POOR MARAUDER’S FIRE, QUELLING IT INSTANTLY; IN THE NEXT MOMENT, HE IS TAKEN OUT BY ONE OF CHAIVA’S TELEPORTING INVERTED SPINNING KICKS; ANOTHER PIRATE COMES WALKING ALONG THE CLIFF’S EDGE, HOLDING A CASK OF UU’GOC; CHAIVA IMMEDIATELY FIRES TWO ORANGE-WHITE ENERGY BALLS AT THE JOLEAN; THE FIRST RIPS OPEN HIS CHEEK, CAUSING THE MAN TO SCREAM, CLUTCHING AT HIS WOUND; BEFORE HE CAN DO MUCH ELSE, THE SECOND ENERGY BALL TEARS THROUGH HIS CHEST, DROPPING HIM>
<THE CAMERA TAKES CHAIVA’S POINT-OF-VIEW; SHE IS LOOKING OFF TO THE OTHER FIRES IN THE DISTANCE; WITHOUT WARNING, TWO THIN PARALLEL BLUE-WHITE ENERGY BEAMS CUT THROUGH MANY OF THE TENTS, DESTROYING HALF OF THE MOUNTAIN ENCAMPMENT IN A FLASH; SHE NOTICES A BLUE AURA SURROUNDING A FIGURE HOVERING IN THE AIR, WHICH IS CLEARLY KAESH; SUDDENLY, THREE BEINGS, ENSHROUDED IN GREEN AURAS OF THEIR OWN, AIR DASH OUT OF THE RUBBLE AND DUST OF THE COLLAPSED MOUNTAINSIDE TO ATTACK HER>
<THE CAMERA CUTS TO KAESH, WHO SHOOTS ANOTHER EYE BEAM AT THE FIRST OF THE INCOMING JOLEANS, WHO BLOCKS THE ATTACK, BUT IS NONETHELESS STUNNED BY THE BOLTS; HOWEVER, THE OTHER TWO DASH UP ON EITHER SIDE OF HER, SWINGING DOWN WITH THEIR FISTS; AFTERIMAGING OUT OF THEIR ATTACKS, KAESH STEPS UP AND INSTEAD ATTACKS THE OTHER JOLEAN, WHO IS CLEARLY NOT READY FOR HER, AS HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE HIS GUARD UP WHEN SHE SMASHES HER FIST INTO HIS CHIN>
<KAESH FOLLOWS UP WITH SEVERAL MORE PUNCHES FROM HER RIGHT FIST TO THE JOLEAN’S FACE, WHILE HER LEFT FIST BATTERS HIM IN THE COLLARBONE; FLYING BACK, THE JOLEAN IS UNABLE TO STOP HIS MOMENTUM, SO KAESH DASHES AROUND BEHIND HIM, PUNCHING HIM HARD IN THE SPINE; ONCE AGAIN, THE JOLEAN SAILS AWAY, BLEEDING AND SCREAMING, AND KAESH AIR DASHES IN FRONT OF HIM AGAIN ONLY TO PUNCH HIM IN THE THROAT; THIS TIME, THE ALIEN IS THROWN BACK, THOUGH HE MAKES NO MORE SOUND AS HE PLUMMETS TO THE BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN, HIS ARMS AND LEGS FLAILING LIFELESSLY AS HE FALLS>
<JUST AS KAESH EXECUTES THE WARRIOR, ANOTHER APPEARS BEHIND HER, GRABBING HER AROUND THE NECK AND CONJURING A SMALL ENERGY DAGGER BETWEEN HIS INDEX AND MIDDLE FINGERS THAT HE HOLDS UP AGAINST HER THROAT; INSTANTLY, HIS COMPANION TELEPORTS IN FRONT OF KAESH, GRINNING>
Jolean Pirate #2: Gotcha.
Kaesh: <STRUGGLING TO NO AVAIL> Get off of me!
<SHE ELBOWS THE PIRATE IN THE RIBS, CAUSING HIM TO WINCE AND SCOWL, PRESSING HIS ENERGY DAGGER AGAINST HER NECK, SEARING HER SKIN; SHE EXHALES IN PAIN, CONTINUING TO STRUGGLE, BUT BEING UNABLE TO BREAK FREE OF THE JOLEAN’S GRIP>
Jolean Pirate #2: Careful now. Another move like that, and maybe I dig this right into your flesh. How’s that sound? <HE PRESSES THE DAGGER DEEPER INTO HER SKIN BEFORE PULLING IT AWAY> Don’t do that again. I’ll kill you. I will. Don’t think I will?
<THE PIRATE, WHOM WE SHALL CALL ORSICON, LAUGHS, BUT KAESH STOPS STRUGGLING REGARDLESS; AS HER POSTURE SLUMPS, HE DRAWS THE BLADE AWAY FROM HER NECK>
Kaesh: Alright… what do you want?
Orsicon: Well… <GIGGLING> Etreggy over there wants you. <ETREGGY WHOOPS AND FIST-PUMPS THE AIR LIKE A REAL MAN> I, personally, would rather have your monkey companion. So bring her over here and no one gets hurt.
Kaesh: <SCOFFS> No one? Do you think I would ever mate with that… pissant of a pirate? <SHE NODS TO ETREGGY, WHO LOOKS RIGHT PROPER FLUSHED IN THE FACE> No chance.
Orsicon: We weren’t asking. It’s either this, or death. And, personally, I’m not much of a necrophiliac. Etreggy, though…
<ETREGGY LOOKS AT KAESH LIKE GENERAL BLUE LOOKED AT OBOTCHAMAN; SUDDENLY, THE WIND PICKS UP, AND CHAIVA’S BLUE-AND-WHITE AURA CAN BE SEEN APPROACHING THE THREE AT GREAT SPEED; SHE REACHES THEM BEFORE THE JOLEANS CAN SAY ANYTHING>
Chaiva: Hey! What are you bastards doing?
Orsicon: What the hell?! Ya spooked me!
Chaiva: Let her go.
Orsicon: <ONCE AGAIN BRINGING THE ENERGY DAGGER UP TO KAESH’S THROAT> Hey, hey, hey, whoa. Easy there. One more move, and I’ll slice your friend’s throat. We don’t want that now, do we? Come over here… surrender, and no one has to die.
Chaiva: No, I think you’re going to die.
<THE SAIYAN RAISES HER PALM, A BLUISH BALL OF ENERGY GLOWING AND GROWING BEFORE HER HAND; SHE AIMS HER BLAST DIRECTLY AT ORSICON>
Orsicon: <WITH A CREEPING GRIN> So, that’s how you want to play? <WHISTLES> Etreggy… get her! Remember, monkey: if you resist, I’ll cut your friend’s throat.
<KAESH LOOKS TO CHAIVA, WHO IS LOCKED IN HER POSE, CHARGING UP HER ENERGY ATTACK AIMED AT ORSICON; FINALLY, ETREGGY ATTACKS HER WITH A HOOK KICK, BUT HIS HEEL GOES RIGHT THROUGH HER BODY, REVEALING THAT IT’S AN AFTERIMAGE>
<BEFORE ORSICON HAS TIME REACT, HE IS KICKED IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD, A STREAM OF BLOOD ERUPTING OUT OF HIS LEFT EAR; THE JOLEAN’S LIFELESS BODY FALLS TO THE DESERT; ETREGGY SPINS AROUND, NOTICING THE ATTACK; HE YELLS IN HORROR, BUT BEFORE HE CAN SO MUCH AS FINISH HIS SCREAM, CHAIVA HAS CHARGED AT HIM WITH HER RIGHT BOOT EXTENDED, CRASHING INTO THE MAN’S CHEST; HE CATCHES HIMSELF IN THE AIR, EVEN AS HIS ARMOR CRACKS, AND RELEASES A TORRENT OF ENERGY BEAMS AT THE SAIYAN>
<CHAIVA EFFORTLESSLY TELEPORT-DODGES THROUGH THE ENERGY ATTACKS, REACHING ETREGGY IN SECONDS; AS HE GOES TO PUNCH HER, SWEATING HARD, CHAIVA ONCE AGAIN TELEPORTS, THIS TIME BEHIND THE JOLEAN, KICKING HIM IN THE BACK, SENDING HIM FLYING UP HIGHER; SHE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWS THIS UP WITH A PUNCH, SENDING ETREGGY EVEN FURTHER INTO THE SKY; THEN, SHE TELEPORTS INTO HIS PATH, KICKING HIM DOWNWARDS; SHE AIR DASHES UP TO HIM, BACKFLIP-KICKING HIM BACK UP INTO THE SKY; THE JOLEAN IS BARELY CONSCIOUSLY, SPEWING OUT BLOOD, TUMBLING ALMOST LIFELESSLY; THEN, CHAIVA APPEARS IN FRONT OF HIM, CATCHING HIM BY HIS HEAD WITH HER RIGHT HAND; IMMEDIATELY AFTER, A MASSIVE BLUE-WHITE ENERGY WAVE MATERIALIZES ALL OVER THE ALIEN, VAPORIZING HIM INSTANTLY; MUCH OF THE ATTACK REACHES THE GROUND, DECIMATING IT IN AN ECHOING BOOM, WHICH LEAVES A SMOKING CRATER BEHIND AT THE BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN>
<THE CAMERA CUTS TO A WIDE SHOT OF THE DEVASTATION, SHOWING THE SMOKE BEING BLOWN AWAY BY THE WIND BEFORE CUTTING TO A CLOSE-UP OF KAESH LANDING; CHAIVA LANDS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER; THE CAMERA REMAINS BEHIND KAESH AS CHAIVA SPEAKS>
Chaiva: That didn’t take too long.
Kaesh: <RAISING HER VOICE SUDDENLY> Y-you… you bitch! You’re just a show-off. You’re just trying to please General Fassfu, aren’t you? I know you want him! Admit it! Admit it already!
Chaiva: <STARING AT HER WITH A BLANK EXPRESSION> I don’t know what you’re talking about…
<THE CAMERA CUTS TO FASSFU, WHO IS HOVERING HIGH IN THE ATMOSPHERE, OBSERVING THE FIGHT FROM GREAT DISTANCE; HE CAN’T HELP BUT SMILE AS HIS OWN AURA APPEARS AROUND HIM AND HE DASHES DOWN TO THE TWO BICKERING WOMEN; THE CAMERA CUTS BACK TO THEM AGAIN>
Kaesh: You’re just trying to humiliate me in front of him! I won’t stand for that!
<A BLUE ENERGY BALL FORMS IN HER GLOVED HAND; BEFORE SHE CAN POINT IT AT THE CONFUSED SAIYAN WOMAN, HOWEVER, FASSFU LANDS, SENDING A SPIRE OF SAND INTO THE AIR>
Fassfu: <TIDYING HIMSELF UP NICE BEFORE SPEAKING> Excellent work, you two. Those pirates have been wanted dead or alive for nearly half a decade. <HE LOOKS AT CHAIVA, SMILING IN AN UNABASHED LOOKED> You’ve done quite well today.
Kaesh: <GETTING ON ONE KNEE> Thank you, General! I live to serve King Nitro!
<THE MALE ARCE-ALBUMIAN RAISES AN EYEBROW, THEN PERFORMS THE LONG, LABORED TASK OF TURNING AROUND TO FACE HER; CHAIVA, MEANWHILE, STANDS THERE, HER EXPRESSION BEING THAT OF CONFUSION MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE>
Fassfu: <SURPRISED; CURTLY> Oh… yes, yes, well done. Good job. Co-come on, you two. <HE TURNS QUICKLY TO FACE CHAIVA AGAIN> There are other pirates to hunt down. We serve King Nitro, do we not?
Chaiva: Aye, my lord.
Fassfu: Then let’s go; we aren’t paying you by the hour, after all.
<WITH THAT, FASSFU KICKS OFF INTO THE AIR, SHOOTING OFF INTO THE SKY, HIS AURA BEING LOST IN THE SUN ALMOST IMMEDIATELY; CHAIVA FOLLOWS HIM AFTER A SECOND; KAESH, LOOKING UP AT THEM BOTH, GRINDS HER TEETH FOR A MOMENT BEFORE KICKING OFF INTO THE AIR AND DASH OFF AFTER THEM>
- Kaesh is a bitch, and bitches love drama. Having the rivalry between the two start off hot was the most natural way, I felt, to introduce her character. She hates Chaiva from the get-go, allowing for some classic DB villain over-the-top boasting. All of this is build up for Kaesh's death. I hadn't really written a pairing like this before, so it was good experience for me. It's like if Ledas and Vegeta had hated each other during the Prince Vegeta Saga missions. Fassfu being there was necessary to keep the two in line. If he hadn't been, I'm sure they would've fought to the death at some point.
- The way I described Chaiva in Nroop's office left it ambiguous as to if she's wearing a bra or not.
- "Nroop: I’m not a- <HE PAUSES, SWALLOWING, AND THEN TILTS HIS HEAD, RAISING HIS EYEBROWS> N-nothing. Forget it. You may go." - this line is the first hint of Nroop's infatuation with Chaiva. He probably got a kick out of her wrapping her tail around his arm, too, but all of that was innocent from her perspective. I don't imagine he gets much pussy, aside from perhaps paid whores, so any physical contact he receives from a woman is something he'd misinterpret as intimacy.
- The space pirate pissing into another's fire, quenching it, shows not only how unlucky the space pirates are in this chapter, but that that guy had had so much alcohol to drink that even if he had been paying attention, he would not have sensed Kaesh and Chaiva approaching. Since he's a Jolean, he should've sensed them, but he was too drunk for that.
- The Orsicon and Etreggy scene was a way to have Chaiva apply what she learned in the Galactrix Arena out in the wild. There is some part of her that views these two as Tanghor and his crew. Also, she's not one to fall into the trap Kaesh did. She's made that error before, in the fighting pits, and has much better awareness than the Arce-Albium as a result.
- Kaesh believed that Chaiva was going to let her die, for that's what she would have done had their positions been reversed.
- One thing I've noticed about HZ is he likes those vertical launches, so when studying how he wrote for adult Chaiva, that was one of the things I tried to incorporate that I don't do so much with my own fights. Of course, this is not to say that I got adult Chaiva's fighting style accurate, but it's one thing I've noticed. Writing this fight scene was not easy, for now I really had to take smash into mind. I vaguely remember watching some videos on youtube to help me with this fight scene, but I don't remember exactly if that's true or not, or if that was for a different story/chapter.
- Fassfu absolutely is aware of Kaesh's sexual interest in him, and he also heard what she said to Chaiva about the Saiyan having a thing for him. I didn't want him to acknowledge that, for it felt like it would weaken his position as their leader if he did so. Also, he's not interested in Kaesh, so there would be no need for him to bring that up. The first implication of him having a thing for Chaiva is in how he talks to her whilst ignoring Kaesh. Then, when Kaesh speaks to him, Fassfu is somewhat curt and dismissive, implying he has never liked her much, even as a warrior.
Chapter 6: The Doctor's Revelations
<THE CAMERA SHOWS A SHOT OF PLANET NITRO 01 FROM SPACE>
<CUTS TO THE THRONE ROOM; THE ROOM IS QUITE LARGE, WITH A CEILING, SUPPORTED BY SPARSELY-ADORNED WHITE STONE PILLARS, THAT IS NO LESS THAN TWENTY METERS HIGH; IT IS EMPTY EXCEPT FOR EMPEROR NITRO, AND HIS SYCOPHANT, KIRKA; NITRO IS STANDING ONE STEP BELOW HIS THRONE, LOOKING DOWN AT KIRKA, WHO IS STANDING FEEBLY TWELVE STEPS BELOW, ALREADY ANIMATED IN SPEECH>
Kirka: … and, dare I say, my king, your own father is not someone you want to slight…
Nitro: I’ll do as he commands, for now. But if he thinks I’ll bow down to Cooler or Frieza, once he’s gone, he’s gotten even drunker than usual. I’ll send them into the afterlife to join him before I-
<A DOOR A LITTLE BEHIND AND TO THE LEFT OF THE THRONE OPENS, REVEALING NROOP; HE HASTILY MAKES HIS WAY TO THE THRONE; NITRO DOESN’T SAY ANOTHER WORD, INSTEAD USING THIS TIME TO STARE DOWN AT KIRKA MENACINGLY AND STRETCH HIS NECK>
Nroop: <BOWING UPON REACHING THE STONE STAIRS LEADING UP TO NITRO’S THRONE> My king!
Nitro: <TAIL FLAPPING IN IRRITATION> What is it, Nroop?
Nroop: Well, I, uh… <HE GIVES A SIDE-GLANCE TO KIRKA>
Nroop: It’s done, my king.
Nitro: <HIS STATURE BECOMES MORE ERECT> Oh… that project?
Nroop: <EXCITEDLY> Yes, my king.
Nitro: <SMILING WITH GLEE> Take me. Now.
Nroop: At once, my lord. <HE STANDS UP, GESTURING TO THE DOOR HE CAME IN FROM> This way.
Nitro: <EYEING KIRKA ONE LAST TIME> Keep this warm for me, will you? <HIS TAIL SLAPS THE SEAT OF THE THRONE, CAUSING KIRKA TO JUMP IN FRIGHT, BARELY HUSHING A SCREAM OF PANIC>
Kirka: Y-yes, milord…
<THIS TIME IT IS KIRKA WHO EYES NROOP AS THE DOCTOR USHERS THE EMPEROR AWAY; THE CAMERA PULLS BACK, FADING TO BLACK>
<CUTS TO A SPACE SHOT OF AN OVERCAST, SWAMPY WORLD SOMETIME LATER; THE CAMERA CUTS TO A LOW SHOT ON-PLANET, HOVERING JUST OVER A BOG, THE VAGUE OUTLINES OF DAMAGED PLANET TRADE ORGANIZATION BUILDINGS BEING BARELY VISIBLE THROUGH THE FOG; WITHOUT WARNING, A HOST OF ALIENS OF VARIOUS SPECIES COMES FLYING INTO VIEW FROM THE RIGHT SIDE; SOME ARE WEARING PIECES OF PLANET TRADE ORGANIZATION ARMOR, ALTHOUGH ALL ARE ALSO WEARING A MOTLEY ASSORTMENT OF ARMOR, CLEARLY INDICATING THAT THEY ARE PIRATES>
<AS THEY FLEE, A SUDDEN BLUE-WHITE BEAM OF ENERGY SHOOTS THROUGH SEVERAL PIRATES, PUNCTURING THEM FATALLY; THEN, A SLEW OF MEDIUM-SIZED BLUE ENERGY BALLS DESCEND FROM ABOVE DOWN ONTO THE PIRATES, VAPORIZING MANY OF THEM AND SENDING THE REST OF THEIR LIMBS SPLASHING INTO THE SWAMP>
<CUTS TO KAESH AND CHAIVA, WHO ARE HOVERING OVER THE STILL-RIPPLING BOG; KAESH LOOKS UTTERLY DISGUSTED>
Kaesh: Vermin. This is an imperial outpost! They have some nerve.
Chaiva: <YAWNING> They grow bolder by the day.
Kaesh: Don’t mock me, monkey. The growing population of space pirates is a real issue - one the General takes as seriously as I do… <SHE LOOKS TO THE SKY, BUT THERE IS NO SIGN OF FASSFU> It’s not like I’m surprised at your lack of awareness, though.
Chaiva: <NOT AT ALL BOTHERED> What are you trying to say?
Kaesh: Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I mean. You’re not loyal to Emperor Nitro!
Chaiva: You really think that? How exactly will you prove it to anyone?
Kaesh: <VOICE RISING; POINTING AT CHAIVA AS SHE SPEAKS> Shut up. How dare you question my loyalty? The General knows that I am his servant!
Chaiva: He also knows you’re weaker than me.
Kaesh: <A VEIN NEARLY POPS IN HER FOREHEAD> Arrogant bitch…
<SHE THROWS HERSELF AT CHAIVA, WHO PARRIES HER PUNCHES AWAY WITHOUT MUCH EFFORT; ENRAGED, KAESH SCREAMS OUT, HER AURA COMING UP AROUND HER AS SHE ATTACKS CHAIVA AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH MUCH MORE SPEED AND FORCE; THE SAIYAN IS CAUGHT UNAWARE, HER GUARD BEING BROKEN INSTANTLY, ALLOWING THE ARCE-ALBUMIAN TO GRAB HER BY THE THROAT, PUNCH HER TWICE IN THE NOSE, AND FLING HER AWAY; AS KAESH GOES TO PURSUE, FASSFU APPEARS, THROWING OUT HIS ARMS TO STOP HER>
<CHAIVA CATCHES HERSELF IN MIDAIR, DASHING BACK, WIPING THE BLOOD FROM HER NOSE, BUT FASSFU TURNS TO THROW OUT ONE OF HIS ARMS TO STOP HER AS WELL; JUST LIKE KAESH, SHE OBEDIENTLY HALTS HER ATTACK>
Fassfu: That’s enough out of you two. I will not ha-
Kaesh: <IN A WAILING VOICE> She started it!
Fassfu: <GRABBING KAESH BY THE THROAT, PULLING HER CLOSE> You’re one of the emperor’s elites. You will not shame your rank again. I don’t want to be forced to find her <HE NODS TO CHAIVA, WHO HAS PLUGGED HER NOSE AND IS NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM> a new partner.
Kaesh: <HER EYES WELL WITH TEARS, BUT THAT ONLY MAKES HIM THROW HER ASIDE; SHE QUICKLY FLIPS BACK OVER TO STABILIZE HERSELF IN MIDAIR> Please forgive me, Lord Fassfu. I was wrong to bri-
Fassfu: <LOOKING KEENLY AT CHAIVA> That’s enough of your palaver; there are more pirates to kill.
<HE SHOOTS OFF INTO THE CLOUDS ABOVE, CARVING A HOLE THROUGH THEM WITH HIS AURA; THE WOMEN REMAIN FOR A MOMENT, CHAIVA SMIRKING AT KAESH BEFORE FOLLOWING THE GENERAL UP; KAESH GIVES A LOOK OF PURE RANCOR AS THE CAMERA CLOSES IN ON HER FACE; THEN, SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH, AND THE HATE FADES FROM HER EYES SOMEWHAT, AND SHE KICKS OFF INTO THE AIR AFTER THE OTHER TWO>
<CUTS TO PLANET NITRO 01 SOMETIME LATER>
<CUTS TO NROOP’S LAB; CHAIVA IS INSIDE, SITTING ON AN EXAMINATION TABLE, THOUGH THE GOOD DOCTOR IS NOT INSPECTING HER; SHE IS WEARING ONLY HER BLACK UNDERGARMENTS; NROOP IS STANDING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, TYPING SOME INFORMATION INTO HIS COMPUTER>
Chaiva: No blood tests anymore?
Nroop: <SURPRISED; LOOKING UP> Blood tests?
Chaiva: I’ve just noticed that you haven’t been giving me those blood tests anymore.
Nroop: <EXCITEDLY; HE WALKS OVER TO HER WITH HIS ARMS BEHIND HIS BACK> Ah yes… those tests. Indeed, we haven’t done any of those for a few months now.
Chaiva: You have ears, don’t you? That is what I said.
Nroop: Ah, yes, well… recently, um, the systems have been upgraded, you see. A great convenience, in my opinion, that we can get all your readings in the rejuvenation tank now!
Chaiva: Huh… it’s that simple now?
Nroop: <REACHING HER> As I said, Chaiva, we don’t need to be doing that anymore. Not since the machines were upgraded. Now, if you would please come with me, I would like to check over your body one last time. As you haven’t taken enough damage to require a rejuvenation tank, I’ll just do a quick look-over myself…
<HE BEGINS FEELING OVER HER BODY, STARTING WITH HER SHOULDERS, THEN MOVING DOWN TO HER CHEST WITH LITTLE WARNING; CHAIVA DRAWS BACK AT THAT, A LOOK OF CONFUSION ON HER FACE AS SHE HUGS HER SHOULDERS>
Chaiva: <DRAWING HERSELF UP; SHE HAS A LOOK IN HER EYE, BUT NROOP ISN’T LOOKING AT HER FACE> What are you doing…? You’ve never-
Nroop: <SPEAKING QUICKLY> Just checking for broken bones, torn muscles… you know, the usual.
Chaiva: <NARROWING HER EYES> Isn’t there a machine for that?
Nroop: <GLANCING BACK AT HIS COMPUTER HASTILY> It’s, well, it’s broken…! Yeah, that’s it.
Chaiva: <UNFOLDING HER ARMS> Uh-huh. Fine, then; get on with it. I don’t have all day. General Fassfu wants us to leave before sundown.
<NROOP GOES BACK IN FOR A SQUEEZE, THIS TIME MAKING HIS INTENT CLEAR; WHILE CHAIVA BLUSHES AND LOOKS AWAY, SHE DOES NOT STOP HIM FROM GROPING HER FURTHER; WITHIN SECONDS, HE HAS PULLED HER BRA OFF>
Nroop: What is it…? Are you okay?
Chaiva: <BLINKING RAPIDLY, LOOKING BACK AT HIM> I-I’m sorry, I got distracted. What did you say?
Nroop: <BREATHING HARD, LOOKING AROUND NERVOUSLY> I mean… are you okay with this? Do you know what’s happening?
Chaiva: <FACE CONTORTING IN ANGER> I’m not as stupid as the bitch.
<HE LEANS IN RECKLESSLY, KISSING HER WITH GREAT PASSION; CHAIVA DOES NOT STOP HIM, BUT IT IS CLEAR FROM HOW SHE IS KISSING HIM BACK THAT SHE’S NOT NEARLY AS AROUSED AS THE GOOD DOCTOR IS; NEVERTHELESS, THEY GO AT IT FOR A BIT, WITH NROOP SQUEEZING ONE OF HER BREASTS AS HE BEGINS KISSING DOWN HER NECK, THEN CHEST, UNTIL HIS LIPS REACH HER NIPPLE; USING HIS OTHER HAND, HE STARTS FUMBLING WITH HER TRAINING SHORTS; CHAIVA HOLDS HIM, HER POSTURE RIGID, HER GAZE NOT ON HIM>
<THE GEOMOGEO PUSHES HER BACK, FINALLY GETTING HER UP AGAINST THE WALL; THE CAMERA SHOWS AN OVERHEAD SHOT FROM BEHIND HIS BACK AS HE PUSHES HIMSELF FORCEFULLY INTO HER; WHILE HER BODY REACTS TO HIS THRUSTS, CHAIVA REMAINS UNFOCUSED ON THE TASK AT HAND>
Nroop: <SLOWING HIS PACE> What’s… the matter…?
Chaiva: Nothing, it’s just I was thinking about th-
Nroop: You shouldn’t… call her a bitch… She’s your teammate…
Chaiva: Doesn’t make her less of a bitch.
Nroop: <HE PICKS UP HIS PACE AGAIN, WITH ONE HAND ON HER LEFT BREAST AND THE OTHER HOLDING HER BY THE ASS> They’re all cunts… the general, the emperor, even that worm, Kirka… every one of them… but if you go around saying that…
Chaiva: <TAKING HIS THRUSTS WELL, SHE LEANS IN, HER ARMS WRAPPED AROUND THE ALIEN’S NECK> I know. I shouldn’t be thinking about such things now…
Nroop: Heh. <THRUSTS INTO HER DEEPER> Don’t like it? Maybe you don’t even know what this is…
Nroop: You have nothing to worry about… you’re the lucky one, not her…
Chaiva: <KISSES HIM; IN HER HEAD> This is what you call luck? <OUT-LOUD> She’s in love with him. I don’t see why. The General’s not as clever as he thinks. I’ve killed dozens of pit fighters who were more of a threat than him.
Nroop: <LAUGHING> So then what do you care…?
Chaiva: She thinks I do.
Nroop: <LEANING IN, BUT DOES NOT KISS HER> Then tell her the truth. <HE THRUSTS HARD INTO HER, CAUSING THE SAIYAN TO GASP, HER CHEEKS FLUSHING> The whole truth.
Chaiva: I’m stronger than her anyways, but it’d be better for her to feel conflicted. She’s weaker that way.
<NROOP GRUNTS, TURNING CHAIVA AROUND AND DOING HER DOGGY-STYLE NOW, THROWING HER ONTO THE GROUND; CHAIVA GETS ON HER HANDS AND KNEES AS THE DOCTOR ENTERS HER AGAIN, HIS ENTIRE BODY DRIPPING WITH SWEAT; CLEARLY HE’S ABOUT READY TO GET THIS OVER WITH; CHAIVA, MEANWHILE, WHILE FLUSHED IN THE FACE, IS NOT NEARLY AS AROUSED; CHAIVA WRAPS HER TAIL AROUND HIS WAIST AS HE PERFORMS HIS ACT UPON HER>
Nroop: <CONFIDENTLY AS HE HITS A GOOD PACE> You won’t have to worry about her… nor the general… the ones you should really fear… those are the rest of Nitro’s family… his father, Cold… his brothers, Cooler and Frieza… and even Frieza’s son, Kuriza… not to mention the uncles, Arcterial and Icer… they are the real threats out there, baby… You don’t have anything to fear with your team… they’re just trying to survive… under the royal family’s tyranny… just like you… just like me…
Chaiva: <LIPS PURSED> I won’t get in trouble for this, will I?
Nroop: Of course not… I’m King Nitro’s head doctor… I can do what I want…! I can take whomever I want…!
<HE GRIPS HER BY THE NAPE OF THE NECK AS HE THRUSTS DEEP AND HARD INTO HER, GRUNTING LOUDER, PUSHING HER TO THE FLOOR; CHAIVA TAKES IT ALL, OFFERING UP A LITTLE IN THE HIPS DEPARTMENT, BUT NOT SAYING ANYTHING AS THE DOCTOR GROWS MORE DESPERATE WITH HIS MOVEMENTS>
<CUTS TO TEN MINUTES LATER, JUST OUTSIDE NROOP’S LAB>
<CHAIVA, IN HER FULL ARMOR, WALKS OUT; GOING DOWN THE HALL, SHE RUNS INTO GENERAL FASSFU, WHO COMES AROUND THE CORNER AT GREAT SPEED; AT ONCE, HE PUSHES HER UP AGAINST THE WALL>
Fassfu: Where have you been? I’ve been calling your scouter for fifteen minutes!
Chaiva: <CALMLY, ALTHOUGH HER EYES ARE WIDE OPEN> I was getting treatment from the doctor. I only just got out, sir.
Fassfu: <PRESSING HER; LEANING IN, BREATHING DOWN HER NECK> Is that so, soldier?
Chaiva: You can ask the doctor himself if you wish.
Fassfu: That won’t be necessary. We have an hour until take-off.
Chaiva: Yes, sir.
Fassfu: And so I intend to use that hour as best I can before it disappears. <HE JERKS HER BY THE NECK, THROWING HER ASIDE; THE SAIYAN IS ABLE TO KEEP HER BALANCE, BUT COUGHS NONETHELESS, RUBBING HER NECK> Come with me, and turn your scouter off. I don’t want any distractions.
Chaiva: <MORE DISTANTLY> Yes, sir…
<HE WALKS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING FOR HER TO FOLLOW; TAKING A DEEP BREATH CHAIVA GLANCES BACK FROM WHERE SHE CAME FROM AND THEN FOLLOWS THE ARCE-ALBUMIAN TO HIS QUARTERS>
- The opening conversation between Nitro and Kirka gives a little more insight into Nitro's mindset. It also provides a reason for him to have Nroop combine Chaiva's genes with his own to create the perfect warrior. Though Nitro won't admit it to the Ocaran, he knows that he is not stronger than either of his older brothers. If he wants to defeat them, he will have to use his secret weapon.
- Nitro didn't tell Kirka about the Yuki project yet, given how Nroop has to dance around the issue in the throne room. While Nitro considers Kirka to be a valuable advisor, that doesn't mean he'll get to know the emperor's secrets. I don't think Nitro would tell a single soldier in his empire about Yuki before she is fully operational, but HZ might think differently.
- Fleshing out Yuki's backstory was my favorite thing to write in the second arc of HMOC. It was convenient that Chaiva's story tied into that plotline, otherwise I don't think any of this stuff would've been written out in a one-shot or the like.
- The outpost that Yuki and Kaesh visit is Zryggheympe, Kirka's homeworld.
- I don't particularly like how I wrote Kaesh's dialogue in this chapter. Much of what she says is unrelated to Chaiva's dialogue.
- The shortness of this arc is what prompted the Kaesh and Chaiva fight. If I had, say, 12 chapters to work with, they would not have fought so soon, but pace-wise, it had to happen before the end of the story, and there were already so many other scenes that were needed that there wasn't any time to put that off further.
- Nroop has a relatively poor poker face. With that said, the lie he comes up with about the blood tests is not terrible. He's a smart guy. Yet, he's not the best at lying, nor he is the best at hiding his emotions. He was pretty visibly flustered there. This part was added in to characterize him a bit, and it also implies that Yuki is now complete - that Nitro was satisfied with Nroop's work, so they don't need Chaiva's DNA any more. Also, it felt logical for Chaiva to ask about those tests, for she had been doing them routinely for four years straight.
- Wasn't so easy to write for Nroop, I have to admit. I find him to be quite the creep, so the sex scene was tricky for me to get through. The entire scene is very aesthetically distasteful. I mean, it's difficult enough to write these awkward scenes with characters I like.
- Nroop's advice to Chaiva about not openly calling everyone bad names is good advice, but ironically he dies in Cold Vengeance because he mouths off about Chaiva while in Yuki's presence.
- It is very difficult for me to re-read this sex scene. At least there's a parody of Game of Thrones in the way I wrote it (sexposition). But yeah, it's not very fun to re-read Nroop having his way with wonderful Chaiva.
- I don't remember whose idea it was to show so much of the sex scene. In HZ's notes it says that that shouldn't really be shown, so I wonder what happened during our convos to change that. I personally don't remember even writing this scene, let alone discussing it, so yeah.
- "Nroop: <CONFIDENTLY AS HE HITS A GOOD PACE> You won’t have to worry about her… nor the general… the ones you should really fear… those are the rest of Nitro’s family… his father, Cold… his brothers, Cooler and Frieza… and even Frieza’s son, Kuriza… not to mention the uncles, Arcterial and Icer… they are the real threats out there, baby… You don’t have anything to fear with your team… they’re just trying to survive… under the royal family’s tyranny… just like you… just like me…" - I remember discussing this line with HZ. I wanted Chaiva to know about the other PTO threats so she could tell Cuber about them when she reunited with him. When Kuriza and Icer get involved in the Mrovian storyline in HOTD, Chaiva and Cuber will know about them, and to some extent, will be expecting them.
- Fassfu gets done dirty by Nroop, and he never knows. Poor Chaiva. I only hope that it's canon that Fassfu ate her out.
- I don't remember if this is the first time that Fassfu and Chaiva had sex, but logically, it probably is not. The way he treats her indicates that they may have done this before. Also, it would be too coincidental for her to have sex with two officers for the first time within an hour of each other.
Chapter 7: Biding Time
<IT IS AGE 758; THE CAMERA SHOWS A DESERT WORLD FROM SPACE; CUTS TO THE PLANET’S SURFACE>
<KAESH COMES ONTO SCREEN FROM THE LEFT SIDE, DODGING PUNCHES FROM A PARTICULARLY IRATE SPACE PIRATE; HE IS A WHITE-FURRED SPACE-BADGER; DUCKING UNDER HIS ONSLAUGHT OF ATTACKS, SHE SINGES HIM ACROSS THE ARM WITH AN EYE-BEAM THAT STAGGERS HIM, ALLOWING HER TO PUNCH HIM HARD IN THE CHEEK, SHATTERING HIS BONES; AS HE GOES TO FALL, SHE CATCHES HIM BY THE NECK AND SNAPS IT BETWEEN TWO FINGERS>
<HIGHER ABOVE, CHAIVA CAN BE SEEN BATTLING TWO PIRATES AT ONCE; BOTH ARE JOLEANS; THE FIRST COMES SCREAMING DOWN ON HER FROM ABOVE WITH BOTH HANDS INTERLOCKED; CHAIVA USES AN AFTERIMAGE TO JUMP BACK, ALLOWING THE PIRATE TO SLIDE RIGHT THROUGH HER FORM WITH HIS ATTACK; HOWEVER, AS SOON AS HE DOES, SHE REAPPEARS TO HIS LEFT, HER AURA ORANGE-WHITE, AND FLIES AT THE ALIEN WITH HER LEFT KNEE OUT, BLUE-WHITE PLASMA SPARKS AROUND IT; WHEN SHE MAKES CONTACT WITH THE ALIEN, HE IMMEDIATELY EXPLODES INTO CHUNKS OF FLESH, HIS BLOOD VAPORIZING FROM THE FORCE OF HER HIT; WHAT REMAINS OF HIM FALLS IN CHARRED BITS TO THE DESERT FLOOR>
<THE SECOND JOLEAN, IN THIS TIME, HAD CHARGED UP A GREEN-WHITE ENERGY BLAST, WHICH HE PROMPTLY FIRES AT CHAIVA AS SOON AS SHE KILLS HIS COMRADE; WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO DODGE, CHAIVA BARELY HAS TIME TO SEE THE BLAST COMING AT HER FROM BEHIND BEFORE IT IMPACTS, ENSHROUDING HER IN SMOKE; THE CAMERA QUICKLY PIVOTS TO KAESH, WHO IS ON THE GROUND, RUBBING HER NECK; AS THE CAMERA ZOOMS BACK, IT REVEALS THAT THERE IS ANOTHER SPACE PIRATE, THIS ONE A BALD SOBREN; HE GRINS, CONJURING A PURPLE ENERGY SWORD IN ONE HAND WHILE FIRING A CONTINUOUS ENERGY BARRAGE AT THE ARCE-ALBUMIAN AS HE WALKS TOWARDS HER>
<BACK IN THE SKY, CHAIVA AIR DASHES OUT OF THE CLOUD OF SMOKE, HER AURA DISSIPATING IT; WITH A LOOK OF ANGER, SHE RUSHES AT THE JOLEAN, WHO, IN A PANIC, FIRES OFF A BARRAGE OF HIS OWN; CHAIVA EASILY DODGES THROUGH THE ATTACKS AND PUNCHES THE ALIEN TO THE GROUND; HE LANDS IN A MASSIVE CRATER THAT SENDS A SHOCKWAVE THROUGH THE AIR; CHAIVA LANDS, GLANCING OVER HER SHOULDER AT KAESH’S FIGHT, NOTICING THAT HER COMRADE IS HAVING A HARD TIME DODGING THE SOBREN’S BLADE; SHE SHRUGS AND STEPS UP TO HER PREY>
<BLOODY AND BRUISED, THE PIRATE STANDS, HIS KNEES SHAKING, HIS FOCUS GOING IN AND OUT; ANOTHER BALL OF GREEN ENERGY BEGINS FORMING IN HIS HAND, AND CHAIVA TAKES THAT AS HER CUE TO ATTACK; RUSHING FORWARD WITH BLINDING SPEED, SHE PUNCHES THE ALIEN IN THE CHEST, KNOCKING HIM BACK; HE FIRES THE ENERGY BALL AT HER, BUT SHE BATS IT ASIDE WITH LITTLE EFFORT; THEN, THE SAIYAN LEADS WITH A SPINNING KICK, BREAKING HIS BLOCK AGAIN; AS SHE GOES TO ATTACK HIM, HE RUNS AT HER, SHOUTING HEROICALLY AS HE DODGES ONE BLOW, TAKES ANOTHER IN THE EAR, AND DODGES THE THIRD BEFORE GETTING A CLEAN HIT INTO HER ABDOMEN; THE WOMAN DOESN’T SO MUCH AS FLINCH AS SHE ELBOWS HIM ACROSS THE FACE, SENDING A TRAIL OF BLOOD AND TEETH INTO THE AIR>
<AS THE JOLEAN GOES TO PUNCH HER WILDLY, CHAIVA JUMPS OVER HIS ATTACK, COMING DOWN ON HIM WITH SEVERAL KICKS FROM EACH FOOT, STAGGERING HIM BACK; BUT BEFORE HE CAN EVEN GAIN HIS FOOTING, SHE THROWS AN AURORA BOMB AT HIM, WHICH VAPORIZES HIM IN AN INSTANT>
<KAESH, MEANWHILE, IS DODGING THE AGGRESSIVE SOBREN, BUT SHE SEEMS VERY TIRED IN COMPARISON TO CHAIVA; HER OPPONENT SEEMS TO HAVE THE EDGE, AS SHE IS UNABLE TO GET VERY MANY ATTACKS OF HER OWN OFF BEFORE NEEDING TO DODGE HIS BLADE; FINALLY, HE MANAGES TO CUT HER DOWN THE BACK OF HER HAND; KAESH LEAPS BACK, AUDIBLY SEETHING>
Sobren: What? Afraid of a little blood? Come here, sweetie! I’ll make ya feel all better!
<SNORTING, THE WOMAN FLIES AT HIM AGAIN, THIS TIME DIRECTLY AT HIM; AS HE PULLS BACK HIS HAND TO SLICE HER CLEANLY IN HALF, KAESH SUDDENLY FIRES AN ENERGY BALL INTO THE GROUND IN FRONT OF HIM, SPRAYING SAND EVERYWHERE; AS THE PIRATE JUMPS BACK, SHIELDING HIS EYES, THE ARCE-ALBUMIAN DASHES EVEN FASTER, SPINNING OUT OF THE WAY OF THE SAND; THE PIRATE DOES NOT NOTICE HER FLYING UP ON HIS SIDE; BY THE TIME HE GLANCES TO HIS RIGHT, HIS HAND, FROM THE WRIST UP, IS ALREADY FALLING OFF HIS ARM, THE WOUND CAUTERIZED BY KAESH’S PIERCING EYE-BEAM; HE CRIES OUT, SWINGING WITH HIS LEFT FIST, BUT SHE CATCHES THAT, TWISTING HIS ARM AROUND VIOLENTLY, DISLOCATING IT FROM HIS SHOULDER BLADE; THEN SHE GRABS HIM BY THE COLLAR OF HIS ARMOR, HOLDING HIM AT ARM’S LENGTH>
Sobren: You bitch! You cut off my arm! My bloody arm! My good arm! I use that arm t-
Kaesh: You’re nothing.
<SHE TAPS HIM ONCE ON THE FOREHEAD WITH THE BACK OF HER HAND, AND HALF OF HIS BRAIN MATTER SPEWS OUT OF THE BACK OF HIS HEAD; THE CAMERA SWITCHES TO AN OVERHEAD SHOT, SHOWING CHAIVA APPROACHING KAESH, THE LATTER OF WHOM IS LEANING FORWARD ON HER HANDS AND KNEES, BREATHING HARD>
Chaiva: Looks like you’ve been slacking with your training.
Kaesh: Shut up. Don’t lecture me, monkey.
Chaiva: <WITH A WRY GRIN> I’m sure the General would be very interested to hear about this…
Kaesh: <RAISING HER VOICE; STANDING UP TO FACE CHAIVA> Hey! I’ll have you know that the last system’s star was yellow!
Chaiva: What does that matter?
Kaesh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sure the General already told you, but you forgot. I knew it. Stupid bitch.
Chaiva: <RAISING A FIST AS SHE REACHES KAESH> What did you call me?!
Kaesh: Stupid bitch. That’s all you are. The General’s already explained it… he’s an Arce-Albumian too. Or is that news to you too?
Chaiva: So? What does that have to do with anything?
Kaesh: So… I need a hotter star than that to fully power me up.
Chaiva: That’s a shame. You should have gone and found a hotter one before coming here. That’s not my problem.
Kaesh: <EXASPERATED> The General gave us direct orders to come here immediately!
Chaiva: <SHRUGGING AGAIN> Well, there are more pirates down that way… <SHE CLICKS HER SCOUTER, LOOKING PAST KAESH> Are you coming?
Kaesh: <CONJURING AN ENERGY BALL IN ONE HAND> Let’s just blow the planet away and get this over with.
Chaiva: <DISBELIEVING> This is one of Emperor Nitro’s outposts…
Kaesh: <ROLLING HER EYES> We’ll say one of them did it.
Kaesh: <IGNORING HER; AIMING HER ATTACK DIRECTLY AT THE GROUND> I don’t take orders from you.
Chaiva: Do it, and I’ll leave you here with them.
Kaesh: <LOOKS UP AT CHAIVA; THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A LONG WHILE> You’re weaker than me.
Chaiva: Want to find out?
Kaesh: <CONTINUING TO STARE AT CHAIVA WITH PURE RANCOR> Hmph… go on, then…
Chaiva: I’m telling General Fassfu about this.
Kaesh: <SPITTING INTO THE SAND> You would, you space rat.
Chaiva: <KICKING OFF INTO THE AIR; LOOKING BACK AT KAESH OVER HER SHOULDER> And to think… he told me he really liked you. I wonder what he’ll think now.
<SMIRKING, CHAIVA TURNS AND DASHES OFF>
<CUTS TO PLANET NITRO 01; OUTSIDE SHOT OF NITRO’S PALACE, SLIGHTLY ZOOMING IN ON ONE OF THE HIGH TOWERS SURROUNDING IT; THE CAMERA CUTS TO INSIDE FASSFU’S OFFICE>
<CHAIVA WALKS IN; FASSFU LOOKS UP>
Chaiva: There are fewer pirates today than yesterday, sir.
Fassfu: Good. And how did the two of you fare without me?
Chaiva: <SMILING SOMEWHAT UNNATURALLY AS SHE APPROACHES THE GENERAL AND SITS ON HIS LAP> We missed you terribly.
Fassfu: <FINDING THAT AMUSING> That’s cruel, Chaiva. If you’re going to lie, you shouldn’t-
<CHAIVA LEANS IN TO KISS HIM; THE CAMERA PANS BACK THEN ABRUPTLY CUTS TO KAESH’S ROOM SEVERAL FLOORS DOWN; SHE IS LOOKING UP, HER SCOUTER ON, ALIEN CHARACTERS FLASHING ACROSS ITS SCREEN AS SHE BITES HER LIP>
<CUTS TO PLANET NITRO 01; IT IS MARCH, AGE 766>
<TWO SPACE PODS APPROACH FROM THE LEFT, ENTERING THE ATMOSPHERE TOGETHER; CUTS TO THE POD LANDING PADS; AS CHAIVA AND KAESH ARE GETTING OUT OF THEIR PODS, FASSFU CAN BE SEEN APPROACHING THEM>
Fassfu: I trust everything went according to plan.
Kaesh: <EAGERLY; SHE KNEELS, WHILE CHAIVA MERELY LOOKS AT HER STRANGELY INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING SUIT> Yes, General! We have rid Planet Nitro 133 of those pirates, like you commanded.
Fassfu: Good. In that case, follow me. I have a rare treat for you both.
Kaesh: <JUMPING UP TO RUN AFTER HIM> Yes sir!
<THE SAIYAN FOLLOWS THEM INSIDE THE NEAREST TOWER, ALTHOUGH SHE DOES NOT RUN TO CATCH UP; INSIDE, AROUND A DOZEN SPACE TRAFFIC CONTROL SOLDIERS ARE HUDDLED BEFORE A MASSIVE SCREEN ON THE WALL; A FEW OF THEM ARE TALKING IN HUSHED WHISPERS TO THEMSELVES; WHEN CHAIVA ENTERS, SHE FIRST NOTICES FASSFU OFF TO THE SIDE WITH KAESH POINTING TO THE SCREEN; THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON CHAIVA’S FACE AS HER EYES MOVE TO THE SCREEN; HER PUPILS DILATE, DESPITE THE BRIGHTNESS, AS SOON AS SHE SEES THE LIVE FEED>
<THE CAMERA SLOWLY PANS AROUND CHAIVA, REVEALING NONE OTHER THAN CUBER STANDING AGAINST NITRO ON SOME FOREIGN WORLD ON THE VIDEO FEED; CUBER HITS NITRO WITH A STUN BOLT AND THEN DRILL KICKS HIM, FOLLOWING UP WITH AN EXPLOSIVE SHINE, SENDING NITRO STRAIGHT UP; CUBER FLIES ABOVE NITRO AND KICKS HIM BACK DOWN, BUT AS THE SAIYAN FOLLOWS NITRO, THE ARCOSIAN THROWS OUT A LEFT BACKHAND CHOP; NITRO’S HAND STRIKES CUBER JUST BELOW THE EAR, SENDING THE SAIYAN OFF TO THE SIDE; MANY OF THE SOLDIERS GASP AND WHOOP, THROWING FISTS INTO THE AIR; CHAIVA LOOKS AWAY>
Chaiva: <IN HER MIND> So you did make it… I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into…
<SHE APPROACHES FASSFU, WHO IS IN RARE FORM, HIS CHEEKS ROSY WITH PASSION>
Fassfu: It’s not every day, is it, that you get to see our emperor showing off his power?! <HE CLAPS CHAIVA ON THE SHOULDER> Take note, Chaiva… this is what a real warrior can do.
Kaesh: <GLEEFULLY> Kill the monkey!
<SEVERAL OTHER SOLDIERS TAKE UP THE CHANT; CHAIVA BARELY SUPPRESSES A LOOK OF DISGUST; CHAIVA GLANCES UP AT THE VIDEO MONITOR AGAIN, WORRY ON HER FACE; NITRO NOW HAS HIS TAIL WRAPPED AROUND CUBER’S NECK; BEFORE THE ARCOSIAN CAN FINISH CUBER OFF, THE SAIYAN DISAPPEARS IN MROVIAN TELEPORTATION; NITRO REMAINS BEHIND, BEWILDERED, LOOKING AROUND FOR HIS FOE>
<SUDDENLY, THE VIDEO FEED SHAKES VIOLENTLY AND TURNS TO STATIC BEFORE COMING BACK ON AGAIN, THIS TIME FROM THE CAMERA OF ONE OF THE PROBES IN SPACE; WITHOUT WARNING, THE SCREEN LIGHTS UP AS MANY WARSHIPS CONVERGE ON THE PLANET, SHOOTING ENERGY BEAMS DOWN AT IT; WITHIN SECONDS, THE PLANET EXPLODES, AND THE FEED GOES OUT WHEN THE SHOCKWAVE OVERTAKES IT, THIS TIME TURNING TO STATIC FOR GOOD>
Chaiva: What was that?
Fassfu: <UNPERTURBED> Damn Mrovians. Blowing up their own planet so we couldn’t get it. They’ll be in for a surprise. That won’t do anything to our emperor.
Kaesh: Sore losers! They’ve only gotten a taste of what’s to come. Soon we’ll overrun Mrov itself.
Chaiva: <TURNING AWAY FROM THEM; IN HER MIND> He’s not strong enough to face Nitro again… and if he’s with these Mrovians, it won’t be long before they find him… I have to put a stop to this myself. <SPEAKING TO FASSFU> When will Emperor Nitro be returning, sir?
Fassfu: He’ll be back in a few days. Sit tight. We’ll be joining him in this campaign soon enough.
<CUTS TO SEVERAL DAYS LATER; FROM THE SURFACE OF PLANET NITRO 01, THE CAMERA PANS UP TO THE SKY, REVEALING NITRO’S ONLY SURVIVING SHIP FROM HIS ATTACK ON KULUDUG; CUTS TO NROOP’S TOWER; CHAIVA IS PEEKING OUT OF THE WINDOW DOWN AT THE SHIP; NROOP CAN BE SEEN ASLEEP IN THE BED BEHIND THEM; SHE SIGHS AND STANDS, REACHING FOR HER BOOT>
<CUTS TO THE PALACE; CHAIVA, IN HER FULL ARMOR, MARCHES THROUGH THE EMPTY THRONE ROOM (SANS THE EIGHT OR SO GUARDS) TO THE DOORS ON THE BACK WALL; GOING THROUGH THOSE, SHE HOOKS A LEFT DOWN ONE HALLWAY, A RIGHT DOWN ANOTHER, AND ANOTHER LEFT; SEVERAL GUARDS AND OFFICERS (MOST OF WHOM ARE NOT WEARING THEIR ARMOR, PROMPTING SUSPICIOUS LOOKS) PASS BY CHAIVA; SHE NOTICES THE DIMINUTIVE KIRKA WALKING DOWN A HALLWAY FROM THE RIGHT, CAUSING HER TO PAUSE>
Chaiva: <IN HER MIND> That’s the little space weasel who’s always tagging along with Nitro… he should know where the bastard is.
<KIRKA, NOT NOTICING HER, CONTINUES DOWN THE HALLWAY INTERSECTING HER OWN; SHE FOLLOWS HIM UNTIL HE GOES INTO A ROOM ON THE RIGHT, CLOSING THE DOOR HASTILY BEHIND HIM; SHE PAUSES BEFORE THE DOOR, SCANNING THE ROOM WITH HER SCOUTER; THERE ARE ONLY TWO READINGS INSIDE, BUT HER SCOUTER STARTS SOUNDING ITS ALARM BELL BEFORE SHE CAN READ THE POWER LEVEL OF THE SECOND PERSON IN THERE>
Chaiva: <IN HER MIND> That must be Nitro…
<SHE GRIPS THE DOOR HANDLE, LEANING IN TO LISTEN; WHILE SHE CAN HEAR VOICES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR, EVEN WITH HER SUPERIOR SAIYAN HEARING, SHE CANNOT MAKE OUT WHAT THEY ARE SAYING>
Chaiva: <IN HER MIND> I’ll only have one chance. I can’t let it go to waste.
<CHAIVA WAITS PATIENTLY UNTIL SHE HEARS FOOTSTEPS RETURNING TO THE DOOR; FEELING KIRKA GRIP THE HANDLE ON THE OTHER SIDE, SHE RELEASES HER GRIP; AS SOON AS HE OPENS IT, THE SAIYAN DISAPPEARS; STANDING IN THE DOORWAY, KIRKA, WHO IS HOLDING A PAPER BAG, SQUINTS, LOOKING AROUND>
Kirka: What’s with the draft? <HE PULLS A BLACK AND GREEN MUSHROOM OUT OF HIS BAG AND NIBBLES ON THE END OF IT> Don’t tell me the AC’s acting wonky again. Damn it all! Oh, Captain Tayon’s going to be hearing from me again!
<HE MARCHES OFF INDIGNANTLY>
<AS THE DOOR SHUTS BEHIND HIM, CHAIVA LANDS ON ONE FOOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT, FOLDING HER ARMS; THE CAMERA FACES HER AS SHE LOOKS TO THE OTHER PERSON IN THE ROOM>
Chaiva: You aren’t Nitro.
Unknown Alien: <TAKING A FEW SECONDS TO RESPOND; A LONG, DRAWN-OUT, SARCASTIC VOICE> Oh, so you can tell the difference between Father and I. What gave it away? Was it the hair? <THE CAMERA PANS AROUND SHARPLY, REVEALING A PALE-SKINNED ARCOSIAN WITH LONG BLACK HAIR>
Chaiva: <TAKEN ABACK> Sorry, I thought you were someone else.
Unknown Alien: Wait; stop. Are you telling me you don’t know who I am?
Chaiva: I’ve never met you before, my lady. <SHE BOWS STIFFLY AND HASTILY> You must be the emperor’s daughter.
Unknown Alien: <SCOFFING; SHAKING HER HEAD> My name is Yuki. I’m your daughter.
Chaiva: <CONFUSED; BACKS UP AGAINST THE DOOR> What the hell are you talking about?
Yuki: <APPROACHING CHAIVA> Father made me, yet half of the DNA he used was from a Saiyan. Never told me who, but it’s obvious. There aren’t very many Saiyans left, are there, mother? And Father keeps only one.
Chaiva: I never slept with him!
Yuki: <SHRUGGING> I doubt my father and you could have bred in the normal way. Don’t even make me think about that! Gah! All he would need is some of your DNA, and then Nroop and the others could work out the rest.
Chaiva: I see.
Yuki: So why did you come here, mother?
Chaiva: <STILL SEEMS AFFECTED> Mother…? <BLINKING RAPIDLY TO CLEAR HER HEAD> I was coming down to see the emperor, now that he has returned, I am going with him on his campaign against the Mrovians.
Yuki: <SMILING> Good luck out there. Pity I won’t be able to come along.
Chaiva: You’re a warrior?
Yuki: <PROUDLY> Stronger than you, if Nroop is to be believed. Perhaps when you return, we can spar.
Chaiva: <CAN’T HELP BUT CHUCKLE> You really are a Saiyan, aren’t you?
<YUKI WALKS TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT FOR HER, POINT DOWN THE HALL TO THE LEFT>
Yuki: Father is down there, third door on the right. He’s having a meeting with some of his officers.
Chaiva: <STILL LOOKING SOMEWHAT EMOTIONAL> Right.
Yuki: Feel free to stop by any time. Just don’t let anyone see you. Father doesn’t want word of me getting around yet.
Yuki: And don’t worry - I won’t let him kill you, mother.
Yuki: I know he treats you like any other soldier around here, but I’m the princess of his empire. You have nothing to fear.
<A COUPLE OF GUARDS CAN BE HEARD COMING DOWN THE HALLWAY AND THE DOOR SHUTS ABRUPTLY BEHIND YUKI; CHAIVA STANDS THERE FOR SEVERAL MOMENTS, AS THE GUARDS PASS HER WITHOUT A LOOK, CLENCHING HER FISTS, LOOKING DOWN THE HALL TOWARDS WHERE NITRO IS; AFTER BREATHING HARD FOR SOME TIME, SHE PROMPTLY TURNS ON HER HEELS AND WALKS DOWN THE HALLWAY IN THE OTHER DIRECTION>
Chaiva: <IN HER MIND> She couldn’t be my daughter, could she? Nitro doesn’t have hair… Frieza didn’t either. I guess anything is possible. But she would never go against her father, would she? I have to find a way to save Cuber and her both…
<AS CHAIVA WALKS DOWN THE HALLWAY, A SMALL SMILE CREEPS ONTO HER FACE; THE CAMERA PANS BACK BEHIND HER AND FADES TO BLACK>
- Kaesh's desire to blow up that outpost was quite the serious offense. Had Fassfu heard her say that, he could have executed her for treason. And to think that in the previous chapter, she ranted about how much more loyal she was than Chaiva. Her laziness with that decision is a critical character flaw. She doesn't truly have a warrior's spirit.
- I put in the explanation for the Arce-Albumians because it hadn't been explained so far in the story (although it had been alluded to earlier). I don't think the readers should be forced to check out the species page to understand what Kaesh was talking about. A bit expositional, but worth it, I think, for the sake of clarity.
- One of the more satisfying things to write in this story was how Chaiva constantly trolls Kaesh. She explained why she did so in the previous chapter, so in this one, I went a bit deeper with that strategy.
- Chaiva may be a troll, but she's no space rat. There's not a chance in hell that she'd tattle on Kaesh, even though she threatens to do so. Again, this is her trolling method to get Kaesh into an emotionally reckless state of mind.
- Notice how Fassfu didn't accompany Chaiva and Kaesh to the outpost. By this point, Chaiva has been with the PTO for 13 years, so they trust her. Fassfu stated in the last chapter that if either Chaiva or Kaesh attacks the other, there would be severe repercussions, so they would be damn fools to fight each other again.
- I don't remember if it was always the plan to have Chaiva see Cuber so early. I think probably not? This, however, was necessary for Chaiva to come up with her assassination attempt idea, for she would have no reason to try to kill Nitro otherwise.
- Chaiva intended on sacrificing herself for Cuber. She knew she had only a small chance of success against Nitro, but she couldn't sit on her hands and do nothing. To me, it's actions like this that show just how deeply she loves Cuber. This is even more striking as it occurs while she is in relationships with Fassfu and Nroop. Obviously, she doesn't love those aliens, but she was still having sex with them. Her assassination attempt is the confirmation that they are nothing to her compared to Cuber.
- The Yuki/Chaiva scene was very difficult for me to write. It was by far the most difficult scene of the whole story for me. Not only are conversations difficult for me to write in general, but for this one, several things had to be accomplished. Yuki had to explain who she was, how she had come to be, and how she knew Chaiva was her mother. All of this had to be revealed in a natural way. That was tough. More importantly, I needed Chaiva and Yuki to start off on good terms, so there were very small moments in the dialogue that became critical, as this is their only meeting before Cold Vengeance. I worked on this scene for a long time, editing it extensively. This conversation ultimately influenced how I wrote Yuki's scene with her mother in CV. Yuki is basically begging her mother for affection here (which she brings up in CV), but it's a bit harsh, as Nitro had not told Chaiva about Yuki. Had Chaiva known, she would've been more involved in the girl's upbringing. It's unfortunate timing, as she's focused on saving Cuber from the emperor. Even so, it is this scene that makes Chaiva decide against sacrificing herself. Knowing that she has a daughter changes things for me. She still ultimately abandons Yuki by the end of the Nitro saga, but that is partly due to the fact that she assumed Yuki would want to kill her for letting Cuber kill her father.
- "Yuki: I know he treats you like any other soldier around here, but I’m the princess of his empire. You have nothing to fear." - this is the line that makes Chaiva spare Yuki after chapter 6 of CV.
- Chaiva's final thoughts were a way to explain why she doesn't return to Planet Nitro 01 to retrieve Yuki after Nitro's death. It's unfortunate, for she doesn't know her daughter well enough. It is true that Yuki wanted to kill Cuber (as seen in CV), so perhaps she made the right call, but she could have probably influenced Yuki if she had visited her every now and then in the years following.
This was an interesting way to write a story. It was basically HZ's story written by me. I added in some things of my own, of course, and even some of the plot and scenes were mine, but for the most part, I was following HZ's notes. These notes were fine-tuned over many conversations, so the plot is exactly what we wanted it to be. I had a lot of fun with the Galactrix stuff. Getting to explore the world of Tuhak Ecli was good stuff. The fights were also very good. I was glad that HZ wrote the major ones, though. It gave the story a TMT flare. The second arc was fun too, though it was a bit more stressful to write, as I had to characterize all of these soldiers. The Chaiva/Yuki scene at the end was important to set up CV, but it was by no means easily completed. Overall, for me, the most rewarding part of this story was how it showed Yuki's backstory. I think this strengthens CV a lot. Chaiva's story here strengthens the Nitro saga a lot too, after she is reintroduced to the plot. That is the main value of HMOC, though I do like its plot and I think we did well. There are only a few instances that were a little weak for me. Perhaps a bit more time could've been spent on Chaiva's Premier League exploits, and I could've written Kaesh better in chapter 6, but overall I'm happy with how this one turned out. It was a good experience for me to get into the groove of collaborating with Hyper Zergling in preparation for HOTD.
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Part 125 ---->