The KidVegeta Anthology/Dragon Ball: Heart of the Dragon/West City Saga

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The West City Saga is the first saga of Dragon Ball: Heart of the Dragon, although it's functionally an additional saga of Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten. Not only does it take place a day after TF, but it mainly deals with Ledas and Ryori's immediate future after the end of TF. It's a story I've wanted to write for a long time and have written in some iterations in unpublished stories (for instance, a Ledas/Ryori story post-TF was shown to AkurnaSkulblaka many years ago but never posted anywhere). It took a long time to come around to what West City Saga is. Most importantly, I had to settle upon Ledas' mate. And in the beginning, I hadn't decided.

From December 7, 2019 to January 15, 2020, I wrote the first outline for the Emperor Kuriza Saga, which was at the time what I thought would be the first saga of HOTD. Ryori's only in one scene in that outline's final chapter (chapter 12), in which the following is said:

Scene 1: Ryori comes over to Ledas’ house only to find Jia with the twins; he is uncomfortable about the kids and leaves hastily

I had a feeling at the time that Ryori wouldn't be Ledas' mate. That idea persisted for a few years, but I didn't go anywhere with it specifically, as I wasn't going to write HOTD in 2019-2021. It wasn't until September 7, 2022 when I removed this scene from the outline. I believe by this time, because I was writing the WCS first draft, I knew that Ryori would in fact become Ledas' boyfriend (and later, around the time of the Golden Frieza Saga, his husband). It was truly during the outlining and writing of this saga that I figured that out. It's a major point, solidifying Ledas' mate for the rest of his life (although he will have some minor female mates as well, but I won't be talking about them here). There was a whole period of time where I had thought Ryori and Ledas would remain friends but would not be lovers and kind of drift apart. I don't want to live in a timeline where that ends up happening. I'm glad I figured out that wasn't the way to go. They're great together and writing more stories with them is something I will prioritize in the future (as of writing this in August 2024).

I made a lot of notes for this story, and they will mostly be shown in each chapter's endnotes. There are some overall notes that I will list now:

-starts on May 28, Age 774, one day after the end of TF
-school runs from May 30 to June 24, 20 days of class total
-Ledas and Ryori are put through a summer school to make up for missing the last month or so of seventh grade
-they are joined by 6 others who are also either slackers or recent transfers to town
-Seapark station is to be used as a primary get-together; Seapark Station is a downtown train station in Seikishi City (mentioned in ch7 of nineteen assassins)
-school day is as follows: 8am-11:20pm school, no recess; 11:20pm-12:00pm lunch; 12:00pm-1:30pm last hour of school; 20 total days of schooling
-school runs from May 30 to June 24 over 4 weeks, 5 days a week
-Isune's Stock, a repository of fish and clams and eels, mostly, is burned severely in Age 750, May 8; his descendant becomes a cashier at a nearby store after their warehouse is too expensive to repair, but the fish stock is still theirs at the store
-Miss Kairyupin lives at 2429 East Meringue Street, Apartment 4F
*Sumiso Park is nearby West City Middle School

*estimate is 8 chapters of content, but I don't know as of 8/5/22
*ch1 was easily plotted out, took no more than a few minutes
*West City is based on a western American city canonically, so I used the California school system as a basis for the class structure
*original third scene was bumped to second chapter after I came up with Jia's idea to visit CC while writing out the first draft of the first scene
*came up with ch1 scene 4 on 8/13/22
*timeline lines up with 2022 for the May dates
*in order to preserve them being in seventh grade, I will likely have to make Ryori ~6 months older than he was from 2010-2022, making him be born in late August 761; I later changed Ryori to simply being 1 year older instead of 6 months older so that his birthday will occur before Ledas' (in June) and he will always be considered "the older one" of the two
*5/6/23: perhaps have the theme song be "Jacked Up" by Weezer instead of "Little Greenie" by Gary Jules, as it is a song that more overtly addresses the Ryori/Ledas relationship
*7/13/23: perhaps something to add to chapter 1 ---> have an extended scene where Cardinal hires the scientist who will take out Ledas, and have this scene take place in the same world invention convention that is in DBS ep69; this guy should either win or come in second place, and Dr. Brief should be there with something ridiculous (this invention could even show up in a future episode as well!); give Cardinal a new associate for this saga named Osculplanu; he should be there in ch1; this was thought up after 7 chapters first drafted and ch8 outlined
*7/13/23: Brief's invention could be something to get rid of cigarette ash/smoke/smell
*7/15/23: name of doctor is Usuba after the usuba bōchō (chef's vegetable cutting knife)
*7/15/23: Oscalpano for the associate's name
*9/15/23: this was the date the class schedule was changed from five weeks to four weeks, as it makes more sense with only eight students and intensive workloads everyday; it was originally six weeks when I started on WCS, but that was way too much

So a lot of these notes relate to chapter 1. Beyond that, the theme song thing is mostly spelled out in the endnote. "Jacked Up" is more relevant to this story than "Little Greenie" even if "Little Greenie" is a better overall song. I will use that for another story (perhaps as the theme song for Monkeyboy's First Vacation). I also find it funny how Oscalpano was originally called Osculplanu. What an ugly version of the name. SMDH son. Drifting into tragedeigh territory there. Dr. Usuba was a late edition. I don't remember specifically when I came up with him, but I had already written at least 8 chapters (I think it was when I was writing chapter 9, but don't remember—perhaps it's in one of the chapter notes) before I realized he needed to be in the story. I went back and added additional chapter 1 scenes early on, but otherwise didn't add his additional scenes in other chapters until the second draft.

The main idea for this saga was to have a sort of chill, slice-of-life exploration of Ryori and Ledas in the aftermath of TF, specifically concerning them returning to school. I always intended for this to be a lighthearted sort of bonus saga. While it's the first saga of HOTD, it's kind of a bonus TF saga, kind of a prequel saga for HOTD because it takes place 4 years before the main story begins. I'm not going to lie—the deleted scenes were a major impetus to proceed with this story. I basically built up this saga and the characters' relationships mostly around that.

I remember specifically that while I was in college, I was working on the humans and their families. The way I went about this was heavily influenced from a web shotacon video game I was playing around that time (2016-2017 I think). It was later on that I came up with specifics for each of the six students. I spent a lot of shower time going over how I wanted each of them to act and what roles I wanted them to play in the narrative. It was fairly late in the planning stage that I came up with the Chiaki and Chiwan plot and the fact Chiaki's a main character in this saga. Him being in Dragon Ball: Cold Vengeance had a lot to do with his priority, for what it's worth.

These are the notes I had for the families and other major characters (sans the NRRA ones) before I began working on WCS:

family 1: Hareki
*ryori (13 years old) - student at the middle school; art/video games interest; he can be an alpha male if he wants to be, but is also quite shy sometimes; he makes friends easily
*ledas (12 years old) - not related to ryori but lives with his family; interests include training and soccer; he attends school despite not being human/not being able to read or write; however, ryori teaches him how to do these things
*jia (24 years old)- caretaker sent to them by Cardinal; she cooks and oversees the bots cleaning the house and gives them somewhat stern parenting; she is 

family 2: Kizushi
*mrs. kizushi (34 years old) - mother of chiaki and toshi, a carpet pattern designer; she is warm and caring and likes chiaki's friends
*mr. kizushi (36 years old) - father of chiaki and toshi, he works at a law firm; he is rarely seen and is usually tired or working, but is decently nice, albeit sometimes numb emotionally, and he loves his gin and tonics
*shuku (18 years old) - student in college; does not live at home; studies marketing; she is not very sociable around chiaki's friends, though she loves her siblings; she always seems to be busy or in a hurry and likes to drink
*chiaki (13 years old) - student at the middle school; acting/video games/anime interests; he is short, warm-hearted, friendly, kid-like, and social; he loves to hang out with his friends and play games or watch tv with them; he is very mellow and doesn't like conflict, getting in trouble, or getting hurt
(sakazushi = sake cup)
(shuku punned on shukuhai, toast/congratulatory cup)

family 3: Mabanashi
*temoto (37 years old) - tabashi's uncle who works at an auto shop; he is nice, but rough, rowdy, and dirty
*tabashi (12 years old) - student at the middle school; cars/sports interests; father works in a different city; mother is dead; helps uncle in auto shop most days; he's a tough guy who's not really so tough once you get to know him; he is competitive and doesn't like school
(name puns are in relation to chopsticks - last name Mabanashi, punned on manabashi)

family 4: Hakimoto
*mr. hakimoto (33 years old) - a police officer; he is stern, but warm-hearted, and quite observant
*mrs. hakimoto (32 years old) - works at the local grocery store as a manager; she is very friendly and likes to give the kids treats and send them on errands for her
*hizara (19 years old) - male college student
*donburi (17 years old) - female high school senior
*hachi (12 years old) - student at the middle school; video games/skateboarding interests; twin of chiwan; she is the girl; she is brash, cocky, but not mean; she is fiercly protective of her brother and likes to dye her hair; she is an alpha female who is the class president
*chiwan (12 years old) - student at the middle school; singing/video games/anime interests; he is the boy; he is mellow, gentle, friendly, and pretty good at school; he lacks confidence, but is more chill around his friends; he has social anxiety
*tsuwa (5 years old) - baby brother; in pre-school; a loving, usually quiet child, though he gets afraid when left alone
(hamono = cutlery)
(other names related to bowls)

family 5: Isune
*mr. isune (35 years) - a businessman who works late nights; he looks intimidating, but he's not seen much
*mrs. isune (33 years) - nurse at the local hospital
*anraku (23 years old) - older brother who works at a local bar; he is chill, likes to smoke weed, and can get the kids alcohol, weed, or entry into a club... for money
*azashi (12 years old) - student at the middle school; cooking/video games/anime/schoolwork interests; he's silly, creative, and talkative; he loves socializing and having people taste his food and help him with recipes; he is often teased about his mother
*kaiten (10 years old) - student at the elementary school; a class clown, she falls in love with ledas and follows him about; she is great at the stuffed animal metal claw game and gives ledas presents all the time; she composes poems and lives a buddhist zen life, even saying she'll shave her head for him
(isu = chair)

family 6: Saran
*mr. saran - airplane pilot, gone often; he is quite kind and a great cook; still, he lacks patience and demands that his daughters do well in school
*mrs. saran - elementary school teacher (fourth grade); she is a bit slow, but happy and helpful and loving and full of good advice
*kazumi (13 years old) - student at the middle school; she is one grade above the main group; plays violin and on the swim team; she has a fearsome personality and is academically-gifted; she is considered to be the prettiest girl in school; she is cold, distant, awkward, anti-social, but nice if you get to know her; she feels extreme pressure to continue her family's legacy
*ippi (12 years old) - student at the middle school; a bit of an airhead who likes to play make believe and hates being compared to her sister; despite this, she is gifted, academically-speaking; she is silly and immature usually, but knows how to be mature when the situation calls for it; she likes to go exploring with her friends, although she has trouble making friends
(puns are plates, dishes)

teachers:
*Mr. Takkuro: math teacher (geography, algebra, probabilities, graphs) 
*Mrs. Kairyupin: science teacher (earth science, physical science (including some basic chemistry), some biology/cellular stuff)
*Miss Mahobi: language arts teacher (grammar + a few essays to write on books/movies); social studies teacher (world history, with the main project being a report on some aspect of the four modern species-ending disasters)

(puns are tokkuri, kairyuubin, mahoubin, which are various types of bottles)

nurse: Mojisha (wooden spoon pun)

-East Meringue Street (lemon meringue pie)

Some of this stuff was kept, while other stuff was not. Some of the characters, like Ippi's parents and older sister, never appeared in the story, though I had somewhat detailed backstories for them. Ippi also turned out as a much different character. Tabashi's father ended up being dead instead of working in another city, for example. While the above notes aren't exactly "canon", they provided a nice framework from which to start the difficult task of integrating the eight students into the story.

In terms of the chapter-by-chapter plot, the main thing going on is that Ledas and the gang are at summer school in an accelerated class to prepare them for eighth grade in the fall. The other main plot point is that the NRRA is moving against Ledas again despite Cardinal swearing at the end of The Forgotten that he would not do so (tricky fucker). I tried to put as much comedy into the saga as possible, referencing Steven Seagal, vegans (who are almost as bad as sensei Seagal), that crazy Alabama leprechaun story, and putting in fun hijinks like stealing the ecology test, sneaking into the Guac, having the kids ride on Ledas' space ship, and the big yacht scene. Lots of diverse settings and plot points in all of the chapters kept things fresh for me.

I haven't felt like I was in the flow state like this when writing a story since A Just Edge. This is basically what I've built up to for years, what I've worked toward, what I've spent hundreds of thousands of words getting to. In the process of writing and finalizing this saga, I figured out a ton of stuff about my universe and how I want to proceed with my Dragon Ball fanon.

It was August 4, 2022 when I officially began writing this story, although it would be foolish to say that was the day I first thought of it. I had been considering it for months beforehand. I spent most of 2022 and 2023 focusing solely on this saga. I was also working on The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization, but otherwise, this was pretty much all I was working on during those years. The first drafts for the chapters were written as follows:

First Draft Timeline:
*Chapter 1: 8/13/22
*Chapter 2: 12/5/22
*Chapter 3: 1/31/23
*Chapter 4: 4/24/23
*Chapter 5: 5/20/23
*Chapter 6: 6/14/23
*Chapter 7: 7/11/23
*Chapter 8: 8/4/23
*Chapter 9: 9/6/23
*Chapter 10: 9/27/23
*Chapter 11: 10/6/23
*Chapter 12: 10/26/23
*Bonus chapter: 10/31/23

*deleted scene 1: 1/2/23
*deleted scene 2: 8/30/23
*deleted scene 3: 5/18/24
*deleted scene 4: 5/5/24
*deleted scene 5: 5/6/24
*deleted scene 6: 5/18/24
*deleted scene 7: 1/28/24
*deleted scene 8: 6/12/24

For the first three chapters, I was just writing them whenever. It wasn't my priority. It was only when I wrote chapter 4 that I switched gears and fully focused on this story. From then on, I wrote one chapter at least once per month if not sooner. I was also writing these with the aid of weed for all of them up until 10/10/23. After that date, there was no weed involved in the remaining first drafts or later drafts.

I took a break between 10/31/23 and 3/30/24 (about five months) so that when I began editing, I would do so with fresh eyes. Before I edited, I re-read the saga and came up with a list of things I wanted to change for every chapter. Most of these were implemented while editing. Each chapter went through at least four drafts, and certain scenes went through many more than that. This is the first multi-chapter story of mine where I did that. It was novice of me in previous years to only do two or three drafts for chapters. With this one, I wanted it to be as polished as possible. One of the drafts was always a voice-to-text AI reading the chapter to me so that I could be sure the dialogue wasn't unintentionally awkward (this was also a great way to catch typos I wouldn't otherwise notice). So then from 3/30/24 until 5/25/24, I finalized each chapter, working most days. The final deleted scene, which is actually a deleted chapter, took an additional month to finalize, so 6/25/24 marks the date this saga was officially completed. This was the most productive, fanon-wise, I'd been in years. My discipline shows how much I loved this story. It was hard, it was a lot of work, but I rarely procrastinated when it came time to finalize, which shows me I loved it a lot.

The interpersonal relationships were difficult to figure out. I worked a lot on them, spent time refining them and all that shit. I spent a while coming up with the Chiaki/Chiwan romance. It's the more overt romantic plotline, though it parallels the Ledas/Ryori one. The Ledas/Ryori relationship is the main point of this whole saga and yet I do not touch upon it much in the chapters. Most of that is elaborated on in the deleted scenes. There are hints of it in the ch1-13 text, sometimes explicitly, but not to the extent that I go into with the Chiwan/Chiaki relationship. For example, after Ledas saves Ryori's life and they start dating (this is made explicit in deleted scene #5), they share the same bed from then on. While I never outright show them in bed together, I only use the phrase "the bed" going forward instead of "Ledas' bed" or "Ryori's bed". This is because most people do not like homosexual relationships (especially male/male ones), so I try not to put it too much in their faces. I'm just trying to be what I am though. Ledas and Ryori are canonically together. That will happen and I am unapologetic about it. If you don't like it, fuck off. I'll do what I want. Figuring out though that Ledas and Ryori are life mates was a defining moment not only for my fanon universe but for my life. I hadn't decided upon that until writing this story. There was no way to write this story to my expectations without having that happen.

It's definitely awkward to explore a homosexual relationship explicitly in the text when I'm not entirely publicly out as bisexual. A very weird feeling to be sure. Sometimes you just gotta show your authentic self. This is also a reason why the deleted scenes were written a lot later than most of the rest of the story. I had to work on them a lot, even if for the most part they're fapping material. Even if they are primarily meant to be masturbated to, they have significant plot relevance. I made the fourth deleted scene more visible than the others with a rather overt link to the text because it's in my opinion the most pivotal moment of the story. Hyper Zergling actually read that when he looked over this saga, which was not my intention, and I'm still embarrassed about that.

While this saga is primarily slice-of-life, there's tons of important shit going on. Ledas gets Theodosius. He acquires his healing chamber. He begins the process of mastering Super Saiyan 2. Ses and Ame die (this is something I hadn't originally thought would happen, but after Dr. Usuba was added in, I decided to do it to give consequence to his presence). Ledas and Ryori gaining friendships with Chiaki, Chiwan, Hachi, Tabashi, Azashi, and Ippi is also a major point. These characters will appear in future stories (they have a cameo in Monkeyboy's First Vacation and will also appear sporadically in future HOTD sagas).

Ledas has two main arcs in this saga: getting with Ryori and mastering the energy expenditure of Super Saiyan 2. The SS2 stuff was essential, as I wanted to explain how Ledas gets comfortable in that form. He's an expert with it in Dragon Ball: Cold Vengeance, and that needed an explanation. Power has to be earned. Otherwise, there's tons of little things going on in every chapter, parodies and comedic commentaries on shit. This saga is emblematic of the KV style—using comedy to alleviate the more serious moments, and yet having plenty of those too.

The main themes at play are overcoming trauma, finding one's family, bonding through friendship and romance, love versus loyalty, and, specifically for Ledas, developing motivation to become the best version of himself he can be both with his Earth friends and in terms of being a Saiyan warrior. There's other stuff going on, but I don't want to get too specific with this category, as it always feels like giving out the answer key to the test before taking it. I will also say that the slice-of-life style was highly beneficial in terms of tackling a variety of social and cultural issues (such as veganism and dyeing one's hair), and being able to approach that in a light tone suits my writing style.

With all that said, let's jump into the story.

Chapter list[]

1. Lazy Eight

<1:43 P.M.>

Jia: Hello there…Ledas, right? <THE BOY NODS> Wonderful to finally meet you. My name is Jia. Mr. Cardinal has paid for my services to you and Ryori, as he has for the house. I will be your caretaker from this day until you reach the age of eighteen, watching over you and making sure you boys have guidance going forward.

Ledas: <YAWNING AND SCRATCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, HE STEPS BACK INTO THE HALLWAY> Uh, sure, that’s cool. Hey, Ryori, there’s someone here to see us!

Jia: Hello, Ryori. My name is Jia. It’s good to meet you. Apologies for my bluntness, but you two are in dire need of authority and structure. This past month has been extremely turbulent. You missed your seventh-year final exams. I will make sure that does not happen again.

Ryori: I don’t wanna go back to school. I’m fine as-is.

Jia: If you wish to continue living in this residence, you must graduate high school. That’s government policy, not my own.

Ryori: <SLURPING UP STEAMING NOODLES> Psh, whatever.

Jia: So that you’re ready for the eighth grade in three months and don’t fall behind your peers, I have enrolled you in an intensive twenty-day course, four weeks in total. Once completed, you will have officially passed the seventh grade. Class begins on Monday at 8 a.m. West City Middle School isn’t far from here. I’ll take you there. Any questions?

Ledas: <AGHAST> 8 a.m.? That’s so early.

Jia: It’s nothing you can’t handle. Appreciate that you’ve been given this chance.

Ryori: <WITH A SLY LOOK> Are we the only ones in the class?

Jia: There will be others, but I confess I don’t know how many. Maybe you’ll make friends.

Ryori: <GROANING> I don’t wanna meet new people, I wanna beat Regret on legendary already!

Ledas: Those banshees on the second gondola are bogus.

Jia: Get your fix over the weekend. Then it’s time for school.

Ryori: <EYES NARROWING> Whatever.

Jia: Furthermore, I must enforce a 9 p.m. curfew to keep you boys well-rested.

Ledas: No way. Sometimes my training with Vegeta goes for all hours of the night. That’s my number one priority.

Jia: Vegeta, yes. I remember that name. Is he too a Saiyan? I believe we have documented him somewhere.

Ledas: <FLASHING A SMILE> That’s right. I grew up with him.

Jia: <CLEARING HER THROAT> Ah yes, he’s the one who landed in East City with that oafish bald fellow. Does he still live at Capsule Corp.?

Ledas: Yup. He’s married to Bulma.

Jia: It’s not like I could stop you even if I wanted to. However, if Ryori fails this course, you’ll lose the house and social services will get involved. I’m sure none of us want that. Please consider this seriously.

Ledas: <CARELESSLY WAVING HIS HAND> Don’t worry, we’ll pass that stupid class, no problem.

Jia: <NODS CURTLY> Someday soon, you’ll need to take me to Capsule Corp. The rumors of their prototype CLEAN-BOT 1000 are most enticing. A self-cleaning robot maid. My, doesn’t that sound lovely? Wonder if we can snag an early copy given your personal connection with Vegeta’s family.

Ledas: I can take you to see Bulma tomorrow, Miss Jia.

Jia: Very good. I hope we can make this work. Now then, if I recall, there are two bedrooms, and you’ve been sharing the bunk bed in the master bedroom.

Ryori: We got rid of that piece of crap. We’ve got two full-sized queens now, haha!

Ledas: Mine’s a sand bed.

Ryori: I don’t know how you can sleep on that.

Jia: Where’s my room?

Ryori: It’s all the way down the hall and to your right.

Jia: I’ll spend today getting settled in. Let’s reconvene tomorrow morning. Good day, boys.

<4:54 P.M.>

<GOLD, SILVER, WHITE, AND BLACK BALLOONS FLOAT AROUND; CONFETTI COATS THE GROUND; THE MAIN HALL HAS MOSTLY EMPTIED; THOSE WHO REMAIN EAT CAKE AND OTHER TASTY TREATS WHILE DRINKING CHAMPAGNE OR WINE; THE CAMERA HOVERS BEHIND THE SHOULDER OF A BALD MAN NAMED OSCALPANO WEARING A LIGHT GREY SUIT SITTING ALONE SEVERAL TABLES AWAY FROM ANOTHER GROUP; HE WATCHES THEM, SIPPING WINE; A BLUETOOTH-LIKE DEVICE IN HIS EAR FLASHES ORANGE>

Dr. Brief: No, no, you see, it’s not a vaping device, it’s an ashless cigarette. No fuss, no mess, with the same capacity as a regular cigarette. A simple refueling and recharging make its application near limitless.

Oscalpano: Good afternoon, Dr. Usuba. I must congratulate you on your win today. <HE APPROACHES AS THE DOCTOR DRIES HIS HANDS> A self-immolating doggie poop bag. Your application of micro-reactive self-immolating plasma technology was most impressive.

Dr. Usuba: <SMILING> Thank you for your kind words, sir. Were you an entrant?

Oscalpano: I represent an association impressed by your skills. We would look forward to working with you.

Dr. Usuba: I’m not familiar with the name. Who are you with?

Oscalpano: We get that a lot. We used to be known as the Super Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program. We report directly to King Furry.

Dr. Usuba: Now that, I have heard of. <HE LOOKS AROUND, ANXIOUSLY, BUT NO ONE’S EAVESDROPPING; OSCALPANO HAS REMAINED PLACID> What would you need someone like me for?

Oscalpano: I can only reveal that information once you join us. What I can tell you is if you choose to join us, you will be well compensated.

Dr. Usuba: How well are we talking?

Oscalpano: How does Ƶ1,650,000,000 for two months of work sound?

Dr. Usuba: <BLINKING RAPIDLY> Offering me that much implies your group’s facing a dire situation. Does this have anything to do with that horrible Majin Buu monster? Or perhaps the alien invasion of East City back in Age 762?

Oscalpano: We’ll grant you access to a top-secret clearance if you join us. I cannot tell you anything else. Make your choice. Please, I don’t have time to dawdle.

<5:13 P.M.>

Ledas: But, dude, I can’t read or write. How exactly am I supposed to pull this off?

Ryori: <FLIPPING A POTSTICKER, CAUSING STEAM TO RISE AROUND HIS FACE> Use that crazy thing you showed me a couple days ago. What was it called? I don’t know, like, whatever that was.

Ledas: An afterimage.

Ryori: Yeah, that. Fly around the room and copy anyone’s answers. Don’t let them know you’re doing that, though. You’ll have to be fast. Could be interesting training.

Ledas: Yo, that’s a great idea. It’ll be fairly difficult to prevent them from seeing me. I wouldn’t be able to go Super Saiyan, either.

Ryori: Try not to copy from the same person every time. You good mimicking kana?

Ledas: Shouldn’t be a problem. Kanji’s way harder, though.

Ryori: Speaking of problems, <LOOKS AROUND BEFORE LOWERING HIS VOICE> what do you think about Jia?

Ledas: Dunno. She smells nice.

Ryori: <SNORTING> Saiyans are hella weird. I don’t trust her. Never will. Cardinal sent her. Don’t forget that, Ledas. He’s not a good guy, even if he gave us this house. I’ll never forgive him for kidnapping me. I don’t know what he planned on doing to me, but it couldn’t have been anything good. If you hadn’t stopped him, I might have been…

Ledas: I know, dude. Don’t worry, she won’t be able to do anything. I could incinerate her without powering up. If they’re planning something sneaky, I’ll snuff it out. They don’t know who they’re up against.

Ryori: She is right about us—well, me—needing to go back to school. As much as I don’t want to, it’s gotta happen, I can’t end up as a bum or with my grandparents on some island in the Red Sea.

Ledas: Huh? What’re you talking about?

Ryori: It’s a place way in the south. Super cold. There’s hardly anyone there. My grandparents live in Hosomaki. Been there before a few times when I was little. Don’t tell her about them. I’m not going back. I like it here. Shoekki did too.

Ledas: Relax, we’re not going anywhere.

Ryori: <PLUCKS A SEMI-CHARRED POTSTICKER FROM THE PAN AND THROWS IT ONTO A PLATE; CUTTING IT IN HALF, HE BLOWS ON IT HASTILY BEFORE MUNCHING IT DOWN> It’ll be a miracle if you can pass this class, bro. It’s gonna be hilarious to watch if you can do it. You gotta keep me entertained. I’ll be watching to see if that afterimage thing ever fails. Mark my words.

Ledas: I’m not lazy with training. I won’t slip up.

Ryori: We’ll see. <SARCASTICALLY> I don’t know what I’d do if you were held back. <HE EATS THE SECOND HALF OF THE COOLING POTSTICKER> Oh Ledas, I’d be all alone and friendless. It’d be so, so sad.

<5:37 P.M.>

Oscalpano: I’m on my way back.

Cardinal: Did you collect the doctor?

Dr. Usuba: <JUMPING INTO FRAME; LAUGHING NERVOUSLY> Why, yes sir, I’m here. Ready to help.

Cardinal: Excellent. <HE INHALES SHARPLY, BLOWING OUT SMOKE SECONDS LATER> Excellent. Get here as soon as possible. There is much to fill you in on, Dr. Usuba. I look forward to meeting you.

Dr. Usuba: Sir, forgive my brashness, but I must know. What are we up against?

Cardinal: Do you remember the aliens who landed in East City more than a decade ago?

Dr. Usuba: <SHUDDERS, TAKING A MOMENT TO RESPOND; CHEEKS GO RED> How could I forget? I was there that day.

Oscalpano: <LOOKING AT HIM (A RISKY VENTURE WHILE DRIVING)> Seriously?

Dr. Usuba: My professor had sent me to the docks to collect soil samples that day. I watched the city burn from a distance. I’ll never forget it, never forgive them. Cardinal, sir, you can count on me one hundred percent. I hate those aliens with a burning passion. I’ve always wanted to get back at them. Whatever I can do to help, I will.

Cardinal: That’s good to hear, doctor. Now remember, tell no one else what I’m about to tell you. Another member of that alien race has recently come to Earth. He’s in West City as we speak. With your help, we’ll take him out by whatever means necessary.

Dr. Usuba: <TAKING A DEEP BREATH> I won’t let what happened before happen again. You’ll have my utmost cooperation, sir. I’ll make the alien pay. Our planet will not be conquered.

Cardinal: Glad to hear it. Once you meet up with my team in our state-of-the-art lab, you can begin working on a way to kill our formidable foe. I’ll see you there tomorrow. We’ll discuss specifics in person.

Dr. Usuba: I look forward to… <REALIZING THE CALL HAS ENDED> meeting you too…

Oscalpano: Remember you’ve signed an NDA. Nothing we’ve discussed here leaves the car.

Dr. Usuba: <GLANCING OUT THE WINDOW AT THE BLURRING COLORS AS OSCALPANO GAINS SPEED ON A RACEWAY> Of course. I won’t breathe a word of it to anyone. <HE STROKES THE STATUE IN HIS LAP> It’s just interesting, you know? I don’t think I could have, for the life of me, predicted how today would go.

<10:17 A.M.>

Jia: The CLEAN-BOTs are the antithesis of typically dirty teenagers. They’re giving me a headache already with how they treat the bathrooms.

Bulma: Sure, I might be able to get you some of the early models, but it’s gonna cost ya.

Ledas: <GIVING HER A GLOWERING LOOK> How much, Bulma?

Bulma: <SMIRKING> I could use an extra pair of hands on a project I’m working on in the lab. Come on, I’ll show you.

Ledas: Wait a sec, exactly how long is this going to take?

Bulma: A few hours, if we’re lucky.

Jia: It’s just a few hours, Ledas. Aren’t the bots worth it? I’ve seen how filthy the bathrooms are getting. Would you prefer getting on your hands and knees to scrub the piss out yourself?

Ledas: Yeah, yeah, I get it.

<1:04 P.M.>

<DR. USUBA AND OSCALPANO ENTER A TWELVE-STORY BUILDING; CARDINAL AND THREE SCIENTISTS GREET THEM; AFTER EXCHANGING HANDSHAKES, CARDINAL LEADS THEM VIA AN ELEVATOR TO THE EIGHTH FLOOR WHERE THE NEW RED RIBBON ARMY LAB IS LOCATED; TWENTY ADDITIONAL SCIENTISTS ARE INSIDE; ITS WALLS ARE WHITE; LINES OF COMPUTERS FILL THE ROOM IN SEVEN ROWS; THE SCIENTISTS ARE ATTENDING TO MANY DIFFERENT COMPUTER TERMINALS>

Cardinal: Here, you’ll find everything you need.

Dr. Usuba: <WALKING AROUND, LOOKING OVER THE LAB> You weren’t kidding when you said this place was state-of-the-art. Kami, this is insane. Never seen a budget like this. I’ll need to review all you know about the aliens. Finding a way to defeat them will not come easily.

Cardinal: Our read-outs are available here. <HE LOADS UP A FILE ON THE NEAREST COMPUTER> We need your help in identifying any weaknesses they possess. That’s what we’re paying you for.

Dr. Usuba: <SITTING DOWN AT THE CONSOLE> I see. Sir, you have my word, I’ll do whatever I can to deal with the alien scourge. They will never conquer Earth.

Cardinal: <OBVIOUSLY VERY MOVED BY THOSE WORDS> Get to work. As soon as you find a way to deal with them, let us know. We must nip this threat in the bud as quickly as possible.

Dr. Usuba: I’ll work tirelessly to find a way. They must have a weakness. Something has to give.

<9:33 P.M.>

<JIA’S PHONE BUZZES IN HER POCKET; SHE PULLS IT OUT, REVEALING A MESSAGE FROM “MORI”>

Mori: <VIA TEXT> Update.

Jia: <SHE GLANCES THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO THE LIVING ROOM, NOTICING THE TEENAGERS STUDYING> The boys are doing fine. They don’t appear to be a threat. All’s good.

<10:43 P.M.>

Ryori: Ready for tomorrow?

Ledas: I think so. Scamming the humans’ll be hilarious. I can’t read or write really, and I haven’t completed the previous six years of education. Graduating seventh grade’ll be one of my great achievements. Working one over on your planet’s government is plenty motivating.

Ryori: You’re always so unconcerned.

Ledas: I mean, why shouldn’t I be?

Ryori: You’ve killed tons of people, right? <LEDAS GRUNTS IN THE AFFIRMATIVE> I suppose, um, I don’t know exactly how to say this, but how do you deal with that?

Ledas: What do you mean?

Ryori: During the conflict a couple of weeks ago, I had to fend for myself against Cardinal’s men. I shot one. Killed him dead. I—I still see him when I go to bed, when I close my eyes. It’s hard. I know they murdered Shoekki, but still. I can’t deal with it, dude. It’s too much. You’ve killed tons of aliens, haven’t you? How are you so carefree? How do you let it go?

Ledas: Frieza forced me to clear planets. I didn’t have a choice. If I didn’t, I would’ve been executed as a traitor. But I won’t pretend that I felt anything for those I killed. Planet after planet—billions of them. I was pretty much a toddler. Wasn’t fair to put me through that. If I could take it back <HIS VOICE BREAKS> I wouldn’t have done it. I killed so many who didn’t deserve it. I could’ve been sent to Earth, eradicated everyone here including you. And it’d be such a worse place if you weren’t here. You killed a guy who was trying to murder you. Don’t live with regret; you made the only choice you could’ve.

Ryori: I know, but seeing his blood gushing from his head—

Ledas: You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you. You showed strength. He deserved to die. I can’t say the same about many of those whom I’ve taken out. Don’t let the past consume you. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Ryori: <SNIFFLING> I’m just so glad you’re here with me. I couldn’t do this without you.

Ledas: Dude, you’re my best friend. You’re strong, feisty, never gonna give up. I respect that a lot. Listen to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. That guy deserved to die. He was trying to kill you. Some people can’t be helped. There’s nothing you could do.

Ryori: Thanks, bro. Let’s, uh, try to get to sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.

Ledas: Trolling aside, were it not for you, I wouldn’t be practicing kana and whatnot. I’ve finally found a home here on Earth. I’m not going to forsake it.

Ryori: <SNORTING> Enough with the mushy shit. This episode’s about to end. Let’s finish it off and get to bed.

<8:01 A.M.>

<INSIDE, THREE ADULTS STAND AT THE HEAD OF A WHITE DRY-ERASE BOARD; EIGHT STUDENTS SIT IN ONE ROW OF DESKS; RYORI SITS IN THE THIRD SEAT FROM THE RIGHT, WITH LEDAS TO HIS LEFT, AND A GIRL TO HIS RIGHT; A BOY SITS TO LEDAS’ LEFT>

Miss Mahobi: Chiwan Hakimoto.

Chiwan: <FORCEFULLY> Here.

Miss Mahobi: Hachi Hakimoto.

Hachi: <IN A MEEK VOICE> Here.

Miss Mahobi: Ryori Hareki.

Ryori: Here.

Miss Mahobi: L-Lettuce Hareki.

Ledas: Actually, Miss, it’s pronounced “lee-daws”.

Miss Mahobi: <WRITING THAT DOWN ON HER ROLL CALL SHEET> Got it. I’ll remember that, Ledas. <SHE CLEARS HER THROAT> Now then, Azashi Isune.

Azashi: Present.

Miss Mahobi: Chiaki Kizushi.

Chiaki: <YAWNING, RAISING AND WAVING HIS LEFT HAND; HE IS THE BOY SITTING TO LEDAS’ LEFT> Here.

Miss Mahobi: Tabashi Mabanashi.

Tabashi: Yeah, I’m here.

Miss Mahobi: And Ippi Saran.

Ippi: <IN A SING-SONG VOICE> Heeere!

Ms. Mahobi: <GETTING TO HER FEET> All right then, forgive me if it takes several days to learn everyone’s names. Now, through one way or another, the eight of you ended up here. We’re not here to yell at you or judge you. We’re here to help. My colleagues and I will work tirelessly to make sure you pass the seventh grade before the next school year. But be warned: this will not be easy. There will be plenty of homework. <A COLLECTIVE GROAN RIPPLES THROUGH THE ROOM> You won’t have much free time for the next four weeks. By the end of this, you will be ready for the next school year. I would recommend you get to know each other. You’re going to be spending a lot of time together this summer.

Endnotes:

This chapter is named after the eight students whom society may deem as lazy for not completing the seventh grade.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 1: Lazy Eight
  1. scene 1: Ledas and Ryori are playing video games when Jia comes to see them, mentioning that they have had a whole week to party since the tourney and now it was time to return to education; she becomes their caretaker (doesn't mention Cardinal) and enrolls them in a 6 week summer course to get them officially through sixth grade
  2. scene 2: ledas and ryori, alone, go over what they need to do to scam the school into thinking Ledas can read and write
  3. scene 3: Ledas and Jia go to CC and Ledas makes good with Bulma
  4. scene 4: jia contacts Cardinal while Ryori helps Ledas practice his writing the night before class
  5. scene 5: introduction of the teachers and class, which comprises eight students, including Ledas and Ryori; each class day is 5 hours long with 1 hour of lunch, it is highly intense
2. As can be seen, while all of those scenes exist in this chapter, additional scenes with Dr. Usuba were added later in the story, after I had written like 9 chapters of the original draft. Also, the scene with Ledas and Ryori discussing Ryori killing Supreme General Silver was added in during the second draft (one of the most pivotal characterization scenes in the story).
This chapter begins about a day after The Forgotten ended. I reread the last few chapters of TF to prepare for this.
My notes for the second draft of chapter 1 are as follows:
1. 1/3/24: have Jia mention that she will be their caretakers until they reach age 18
2. 1/3/24: fewer exclamation marks pls
3. 1/3/24: Jia shouldn't know how many others are in the class, but would say that there are a few at most
4. 1/3/24: the conversation between Jia/Ryori/Ledas in the first scene should be expanded ever so slightly
5. 1/3/24: Jia should end the first scene with additional dialogue related to discipline and school
6. 1/3/24: maybe slightly more from Ryori about why he doesn't trust Cardinal, which should harden Ledas' perspective
7. 1/3/24: expand the dialogue about the grandparents living in the Crimson Fingers
8. 1/3/24: add dialogue about how Ledas wants to do the seventh grade thing just because of the challenge + trolling the teachers
9. 1/3/24: the joke line in scene 3 should be changed to Jia and Bulma are laughing about something
10. 1/3/24: Jia should have a line about pissing all over the bathroom in the third scene; there should overall be a longer exchange between Leeds and Jia about him helping Bulma
11. 1/3/24: in the fourth scene, when Jia texts "all good", have her give additional details to Cardinal
12. 1/3/24: scene 5 change - vape ---> vaping device
13. 1/3/24: have oscalpano go into detail on how well-compensated he will make Usuba
14. 1/3/24: in the fifth scene, have Usuba bring up Nappa/Vegeta landing in East City, wondering if this has anything to do with that; Oscalpano refuses to answer
15. 1/3/24: in scene 6, Cardinal brings up a connection to the Vegeta/Nappa landing with Ledas, implying that the Saiyans are invading Earth
16. 1/3/24: to end the chapter, Usuba brings up specifically how much he hates Saiyans, further coloring his character with more specificity than exists currently
17. 1/3/24: specify that Kairyupin is also the science teacher
18. 1/28/24: add a scene before they go to school for the first day where Ledas and Ryori have a deep discussion about the morality of killing people, with Ryori venting about his emotions about killing Silver and Ledas talking about his tally
19. 3/27/24: add a scene at the end of the chapter where Usuba reaches Cardinal's lab and begins his work against Ledas; Cardinal informs him about the Saiyan scourge on Earthn and Usuba mentions his hate for the species after Nappa/Vegeta's previous invasion
As shown by the previous endnote, by the time I prepared to second-draft this chapter, I had come up with the Usuba plotline and had a lot of ideas for his character arc in this chapter. I ended up adding three Usuba scenes to this chapter, significantly adding to its word length. A lot of work on that was done here, although that came about after I got later into the first drafts of later chapters, realizing that Usuba needed to exist.
The first draft was written from August 4^th - August 13^th, 2022. I did some minor editing on August 19^th. I also lightly edited this chapter on November 17^th, December 7^th, January 15^th 2023, January 25^th, and January 26^th. This is atypical of how I edited the story otherwise. The remaining chapters were not treated this way. From July 13^th to July 15^th, I wrote the first two Usuba scenes (the one at the World Inventors' Awards Ceremony and the car ride with Usuba and Oscalpano). I also did minor editing on September 15^th to update the idea to make the summer course 4 weeks instead of 5 weeks. My editing began on March 30^th, 2024 and ended on April 9^th. I went through either four or five drafts during this time, writing every day, working hard to go through all the prose at a fast but deliberate pace. During the editing on March 30^th, I wrote the first draft of another Usuba scene. The next day, I wrote the first draft of the scene of Ledas and Ryori watching Jerry Springer and discussing mortality. At that point, the chapter began to resemble what it turned into. One of the drafts, as is the case for all of West City Saga, was a draft where I listened to a text-to-speech app reading the chapter back to me to confirm the dialogue was how I wanted it. This also helped me find typos and other errors I didn't catch from reading. I took the editing phase very seriously. I don't believe there is another story (perhaps only my last one-shot collection) where I did many drafts per chapter to make sure it was as good as it could be before posting it to the wiki.
The use of the exact time is something I like using. Don't care if others don't like it. I will probably only use this for Earth scenes in upcoming HOTD chapters. A keen observer would note that when Ledas and Bulma travel to Planet Frieza 173, there are no specific times mentioned. This is the style I prefer. I may or may not use this in my prose stories going forward. For example, I do this in Monkeyboy's First Vacation (at the time of writing this anthology, an as-of-yet unpublished but first-drafted story of mine that serves somewhat as an epilogue to the West City Saga), but I don't think I will do it all that often in other stories, especially not upcoming one-shots. You never know, though.
The four pillars of Dragon Ball, in my opinion, are Food, Family, Fighting, Funny, and these are thematically incorporated throughout the story. Because this is slice-of-life, the Food and Funny elements take priority, and so I do a lot of food work in the story. For example, the instant ramen Ryori eats in the first scene is symbolic of him and Ledas having no one watching over them, barely getting by on the easiest, cheapest food to eat. The food throughout the story continues to have symbolic meaning. I'll go into some of it when we get there.
Ledas is never the first character introduced in a saga of The Forgotten or Cold Vengeance, and that is true here as well. If this saga were to be drawn, Ryori would appear alone in the first panel before Ledas' introduction. This will continue throughout HOTD. Ledas will never be the first character seen in any saga or special (if I write any of those - none are planned as of September 2024).
Jia was one of the most difficult characters to write for in this saga. I had written her before in the Country Matters and Girl, but that was after she'd been living with Ledas and Ryori for over ten years. Coming up with her personality was difficult, but more so was her motivation and character arc. During the second drafts and beyond, I worked a lot on her character arc. I wasn't satisfied with it in the first draft. In the later drafts, I focused more on her fighting back against Cardinal, growing to love Ryori and Ledas, realizing they aren't the threat the New Red Ribbon Army thinks they are. After I decided to kill Cardinal (which did not happen in the first draft), her arc became clearer. I added lots of additional dialogue and moments in the later drafts to show her bonding with Ryori and Ledas as well as pushing back against Cardinal trying to kill the boy, and her internal struggle with enacting the plots against the boys, such as poisoning Ledas and rejecting killing Ryori with the paralyzing agent. However, when she starts out, she's enigmatic. I gave her arc a slower burn, only crescendoing when she refuses to kill Ryori. So in these early scenes, as she's getting to know them, a lot is left unsaid while I show her bonding with them and slowing changing her mind. She's a much different character in these opening chapters. We'll go into when her loyalties turn when that happens. It's an important thematic element of her arc.
I find it very funny and poetic to an extent that Ledas' first word of dialogue in HOTD is "Uh". Great stuff, emblematic of who he is.
Anyone who has read Country Matters and/or Girl would note that Jia only being meant to be Ryori and Ledas' caretaker until they turn 18 knows this doesn't turn out to be the case. Something must happen for her to stick around a long time after that. She's there more than a decade later. But why? This story tries to answer that, although I'll say Monkeyboy's First Vacation provides the final closure to that question.
The way Jia says "paid for my services" provides a certain distance between Jia and other NRRA operatives, almost like she was hired as an emotional hooker. Intentional phrasing.
Ledas has no problem with Jia coming into the picture because he knows he's strong enough to deal with her and Cardinal if they try anything. Ryori is not sure about her because he's just a regular human kid who, while knowing Ledas is powerful, doesn't have that inherent sense of security due to his lack of physical power.
The summer course of intensive schooling is somewhat based on me doing a semester of intensive Japanese during the summer of 2017 after I switched majors at my college. That summer semester was the hardest class I ever took, ten credits in all, and was physically and mentally draining. I had very little free time, spending most of the day either in class, commuting, or studying/doing homework. I wanted to bring a bit of that experience to Ledas and Ryori. It made logical sense since they did have some shit go down a few weeks back that implied Ryori didn't graduate from the seventh grade. For Ledas of course, this doesn't matter, but I justify his involvement later in the chapter.
"Regret" is a level in Halo 2. Probably the most difficult level overall, and one that my friend Mr. Q and I, when we were young, spent many hours trying to get through, sometimes taking us days to do a run. Good times, etc. Those banshees on the second gondola are bogus indeed, but they are not the most difficult part. With that said, that is the checkpoint in Halo 2 that we got stuck on the most, so much so that we were sent back two checkpoints after dying so many times. Only time I remember that happening in our legendary runs.
Ryori's pragmatism is masked beneath his more showy emotional state in the opening scene.
Jia learns quickly about the boys when she tries and fails to enforce a 9 p.m. curfew. She attempts a more hands-off, chill parental style thereafter so as to not immediately become public enemy #1 in the household.
The CLEAN-BOT plotline was added in not only because I don't think Jia would meticulously clean the house every week, but because these robots were shown in Country Matters. Allowed me to show off the backstory of their presence in the house while bringing Vegeta and Bulma into the narrative in a clean way.
Sand beds are terrible. I'm sure it didn't take Ledas long to realize.
The World Inventors' Awards Ceremony comes from episode 69 of Dragon Ball Super. It was during one of my rewatches of the DB series for my 17 one-shot collection that I decided to use it in the saga. Not sure which, but it fit in nicely as a way for the NRRA to recruit Usuba.
I added Usuba to the story because there was a certain lack of tension with the Cardinal plotline in the original draft. It was either chapter 8 or 9 when I came up with this, so the first drafts of one of those chapters and onward featured Usuba. I didn't feel like Oscalpano going around sneakily trying to poison or paralyze Ledas wasn't enough of a climax to the plotline. Jia's treachery had to hold more weight. When I created Usuba, I knew he had to have lasting impact, so I decided Ses and Ame had to die. Previously, they would have been featured in the Emperor Kuriza Saga.
It was a fun moment bringing Dr. Brief in with the vaping device. Nice little cameo that didn't require a bigger presence. I think in previous stories of mine, I would've been inclined to have him appear again to "justify" his cameo. That is a sign of my evolving writing style for better or worse.
Usuba's invention is humorous but implies that his area of expertise will be used against Ledas in the future.
The New Red Ribbon Army's official name in King Furry's government is SAARO, which is based on the United States governmental group known as AARO. Because this is Dragon Ball, gotta add a Super in front of the name. AARO used to be known as AATIP, which is why Oscalpano mentions they used to be known as SAATIP.
1,650,000,000 is more than $11.5 million. That's an incredible amount of money, far more than Usuba has in his bank account. He doesn't know what he's getting into, but in my opinion, his greed isn't unjustified. Nonetheless, this is the defining moment of his life. He had a chance to live on, but he ultimately decided to go down a path he didn't realize was far more dangerous than he could've expected.
Potstickers are my favorite food and so the symbolism there is that Ledas and Ryori are compatible and good for each other.
Ryori helping Ledas come up with a way to scam the school tickles them both good, showing their trolly sides. This is one of the aspects of Ryori's personality that Ledas aligns with and respects the most. He doesn't go along with it only because he finds it to be a funny scam, but because Ryori suggested it and he respect's his friend's opinion and wants to spend more time with him, serving as foreshadowing to their romantic relationship.
Jia smelling nice isn't because of her perfume. It implies that Jia's a good person.
By reassuring Ryori that he will protect him if Jia tries anything, Ledas significantly eases his mind and convinces him to go along with Jia's plan. Ultimately, Jia was plotting something. Had Ledas not been a Saiyan, he might not have been able to save Ryori. A little reckless of him, but makes sense given his power.
Ryori mentioning his grandparents living on Hosomaki is a bit of backstory that I came up with before this story was written. I plan on showing them in Crimson Shores with Ryori's mother and Shoekki as a baby. As it turned out, I ended up writing another story with them, called Monkeyboy's First Vacation, which takes place two years after West City Saga before I got around to CS. Mr. Ohano also appears in Blue Wolf, albeit briefly. In MFV, the Ohano are seen a lot. Ledas, Ryori, Shoekki, and Jia travel the Crimson Fingers with them on vacation. More about that can be seen in that story's anthology (which is admittedly unwritten as of this commentary).
"Oh Ledas, I’d be all alone and friendless. It’d be so, so sad." - while Ryori says this sarcastically, it isn't far from the truth.
The fourth scene is somewhat based on the Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero scene where Carmine drives Dr. Hedo away from the prison. I really liked that movie so decided to add a small homage in WCS.
Usuba's experience with Nappa destroying East City is a pivotal aspect of his character and one of the earliest things I came up with regarding him. It informs the way he goes at Ledas in future chapters, explaining his meticulous, almost obsessive drive to kill him.
I wanted Bulma to be a recurring secondary character in this saga, her big thing being creating a rejuvenation tank for Ledas' gravity training unit. This rejuvenation tank will be used a lot in future sagas of HOTD. Really wanted to delve into how he got it. The reason I did this is because in the "Future" Trunks Saga of DBS, Goku is briefly put into a similar device at Capsule Corp. I always wondered how Bulma developed that tech and wanted to explain it as well as giving Ledas an invaluable tool he'll use for sagas to come. Thus, Bulma needed to be around in earlier, more trivial scenes to build up to that.
Ledas wears his hoodie when visiting Bulma as a callback to him doing so in the Planet Earth Saga when he first visited Capsule Corp.
Ledas helping Bulma in the lab is somewhat based on Jaco doing so with her in the Copy-Vegeta Saga.
The fact that Cardinal doesn't have any idea how to take down Ledas should have been a clue to Usuba that he's positively screwed. The fancy lab skewed his perception.
Ryori showing Ledas how to draw certain kanji may be seen as a fruitless effort, but it helps him pass the seventh grade. On top of that, the degree to which he helps his friend here again shows that they care about each other a lot. They aren't just friends. They are very close. A romantic twist is on the horizon.
Jia's first text to Cardinal already says that she doesn't see the boys as a threat. Cardinal may consider that to be an in-the-moment declaration, but for Jia, whether she knows it or not, already feels moral tension in the fact that she's going to have to try to kill a seemingly happy-go-lucky boy. I don't think she realizes how much she cares about them yet. It's too soon. But even if she didn't know them well, the thought of killing a kid is reprehensible to her. She doesn't yet appreciate the quandary she's in.
Jerry Springer is great, and the guy's the perfect type of troll. It's no wonder the boys find his show hilarious. The world would be a lesser place had Jerry never existed or created his show.
A core aspect of Ledas' personality—getting great joy from trolling people—can be seen in the eighth scene. This explains Ledas' dedication to going to school, which I don't think he would have otherwise cared about. The training part of it is minor but not super important to him. Spending time with his friend matters more, and doing so while having fun is even better.
The eighth scene was one of my last ideas for this chapter. I didn't create it until the second draft. I wanted Ryori to reflect upon killing General Silver, since that had only happened a few weeks prior. It didn't feel realistic for him to never mention it or be affected by it. He's a 13-year-old boy who shot a man to death. He's going to feel something about that. This was a difficult sequence to write. I spent a lot of time changing the dialogue for both of them, going over different versions of the conversation to find the right one. Ultimately, I decided that Ledas would take a Saiyan-like perspective, telling Ryori he was proud of him for showing strength in that moment, for killing someone who deserved to die, who would have killed him otherwise. This doesn't remove Ryori's PTSD, but it helps, and he gains a lot of respect for Ledas. He knows he can be open to him emotionally from then on, a crucial turning point in their friendship. Ledas sharing information about his past as a slave in Frieza's Empire reinforces the sharing of vulnerabilities that Ryori appreciates. The theme of not being afraid to experience pain to help one's friend(s) comes up big here.
Hyper Zergling really liked the eighth scene. I'm glad I came up with it. The story would've felt a little off otherwise.
Ledas regretting killing all the innocent people is a turn in his character I did not expect before writing this. He's a grey character, to be sure, but that doesn't mean he enjoys wanton destruction or killing those who don't deserve it. This is consistent with his character development from the end of the Stomping Grounds Saga. He has immense hate and shame that he was enslaved and channels those emotions in his speech to Ryori.
Ledas shows atypical maturity in the way he comforts Ryori, showing that Ryori matters quite a bit to him and that he's putting more effort into this friendship than he usually does. Calling Ryori his best friend is a big moment for them. I don't think he's done that before. This conversation has romantic undertones that the boys don't consciously pick up on but are clear to outside viewers (the readers). They're spilling their hearts out, showing vulnerability around one another and not regretting it. Both of them tear up (Ryori outright cries) and they don't make fun or scold one another for appearing "weak". This is true, authentic masculinity.
Ledas mentions how Ryori's presence has helped him decide to stay on Earth for good. While he came to the planet in search of Vegeta, he doesn't have a ton in common with him anymore aside from their Saiyan desires to grow stronger. They're still friends, but they're not on the same level as they were during the Prince Vegeta Saga. Ryori has usurped that role. Their friendship and closeness is a defining feature going forward, giving both of them strength. This eventually turns romantic but is entirely platonic in this chapter, at least from the conscious level. They may have had feelings for one another that they didn't know they wanted to express. After all, they're only 13 (well, Ledas will be in a few chapters from now) and have never been in relationships before.
The little moment with Ledas correcting Miss Mahobi's pronunciation of his name is a reference to Ledas' wikia page where his name's pronunciation is clarified in the first sentence. A lot of people think his name is "Lehdas", but that's not true. It's "Lee-daws". Always has been, always will be. I can understand the confusion because his name is a pun on "lettuce", so the clarification was always necessary.
The way the kids answer for roll-call implies things about their personalities. For example, Chiwan shows her dominant side, Hachi his meek side, Azashi his professionalism, Chiaki his laziness, Tabashi his gruffness, and Ippi her bubbly nature that is only seen by those whom she's close to. Ryori didn't have much going on in this scene and perhaps could've used something more, but it wasn't necessary for the audience. Just in a vacuum, I think it may be a bit weird that he had the only response that didn't reveal anything about his personality. Maybe that's just what he's like in school? Maybe that does reveal something after all. Dunno.
Miss Mahobi's speech at the end of the ninth scene is very anime-esque for me. I feel it fits but others may disagree. I like how this went. Overall, I'm quite happy with this chapter and her speech at the end was a nice way to bring everything together cohesively. Didn't have to do a ton of character work with the other students, just laying the ground work, allowing me to think about that more deeply in chapter 2. We'll see how that went in the very first scene of the next installment of West City Saga!

2. Meat is Murder

<11:34 A.M.>

<RYORI, LEDAS, CHIAKI, AND IPPI SIT ON ONE SIDE, WHILE AZASHI, TABASHI, CHIWAN, AND HACHI FILL OUT THE OTHER; CHIWAN HOLDS COURT, INTRODUCING HERSELF AND HER TWIN; EVERYONE SANS LEDAS FOCUSES ON HER; RATHER THAN ENGAGE WITH THE OTHER STUDENTS, THE SAIYAN SCARFS DOWN HIS LUNCH, WHICH CONSISTS OF MUSHU PORK WITH PLUM SAUCE AND A HEALTHY STACK OF PANCAKES ALONG WITH A BOWL OF STICKY RICE; RYORI’S MEAL IS THE SAME, THOUGH HE HAS NOT TORN INTO IT AS HIS FRIEND HAS; CHIAKI EATS A DELI SUB WITH TURKEY, PROVOLONE, LETTUCE, AND MAYO, AND HE MAKES QUICK WORK OF IT, THOUGH HE PAYS ATTENTION TO CHIWAN; IPPI’S SALAD BOWL IS THUS FAR UNTOUCHED; SHE MUNCHES ON AN APPLE; TABASHI HOARDS A STEAK AND BEANS BURRITO THAT HE METICULOUSLY CUTS INTO THIN SLICES, SPREADING THEM AROUND HIS PLATE; AZASHI POKES A FORK AT A UNTOUCHED BOWL OF SHRIMP CAPELLINI WITH CHERRY TOMATOES, PARMESAN CHEESE, AND BASIL>

Chiwan: Yeah, so anyways, me ‘n Hachi’re from Parsely Town. I somehow caught whooping cough right after New Year’s. Couldn’t go back to school. That’s what did it.

Hachi: <ANIMATED> Aaaand, she gave it to me pretty much immediately. Thanks sis.

Chiwan: <SHRUGS SARCASTICALLY> We were sidelined for two months. Ruined the whole semester. Anyways, Daddy was transferred here after that big accident a few weeks back. <SHE TAKES A BITE OUT OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A LETTUCE AND TOMATO SANDWICH (KAMI KNOWS WHAT ELSE IS ON IT) AND WAVES AROUND HER FOOD, GETTING CRUMBS EVERYWHERE> So yeah, that’s how we ended up here. Not bad, eh?

Hachi: It’s not that interesting of a story.

Ryori: What’s your dad do?

Chiwan: <THRUSTING UP HER CHIN> He’s a policeman. I guess they needed more officers in the city after those buildings collapsed a few weeks ago.

Hachi: He strung us along, but I’m not complaining. I love it here. Hella different from Parsley. It’s so vibrant and full of people, and look at how high the buildings go! <HE GESTURES TO THE SKY, AND THE CAMERA PANS BACK, SHOWING THAT THE SCHOOL IS LOCATED IN THE HEART OF THE CITY, SURROUNDED BY SKYSCRAPERS AND TREES, ENCLOSED BY A CHAIN-LINK FENCE; THE BUSTLE OF TRAFFIC CAN BE HEARD FROM THE BENCHES> What about you guys? How’d you end up in this stupid class?

Ryori: I got caught up in the disaster. A piece of building fell on me. I was in the hospital for weeks.

Ledas: Aw, c’mon Ryori, you didn’t break any bones. It wasn’t that bad.

Ryori: <EXPRESSION DARKENING> I guess it could’ve been worse, but I still missed my end-of-year exams.

Chiaki: Weird. I don’t remember you from last year, although I wasn’t around much. <HE SMIRKS>

Ryori: I was at Seikishi Middle School before.

Chiaki: Oh, you’re from the outlands. Makes sense. That’s wild country. Never been before.

Hachi: Chiaki, right? <CHIAKI NODS, BITING INTO HIS SANDWICH> What’s your story?

Chiaki: <LEANING BACK, STRIKING A LOOSE, CONTEMPTUOUS POSE WHILE OPENING A BAG OF MANGO HABANERO CHIPS> My therapist, Dr. Fusen, calls it ‘acute type III post-modern malaise’. It’s great. I get to stay home, watch TV, and play video games all day, and nobody can say anything because I have a disease. It’s real tragic. Everyone has to pity me. <HE SNORTS> C’mon, pity me. <THEY LAUGH, GIVING HIM ENERGY TO CONTINUE> In this day and age, any marginalized group, which I’m obviously a part of, stands above criticism and parody. I’m untouchable.

Chiwan: Your parents don’t make you go to school?

Chiaki: Weeeeell, my dad’s a lawyer, so he’s busy most of the time. Mom got me the therapist. <CHEEKY SMILE> It’s nice not having to focus on ‘school, school, school’ 24/7. Dr. Fusen says society places too many burdens on young people. We don’t need to suffer like our parents and grandparents did. Blah blah blah. I eat that shit up during the sessions. Mom goes along with it. She loves me too much to question it. I’ve got a good thing going.

Ryori: Sweet gig, dude.

Chiwan: She didn’t love you enough not to make you come here.

Hachi: Chi, don’t say that.

Chiwan: <NIBBLING ON HER SANDWICH> Quiet, Hachi, it’s true. Honestly, I could care less.

Azashi: It’s ‘couldn’t care less’, actually. If you could care less, then why don’t you?

Chiwan: Whatever, dude.

Chiaki: Nah, to be fair, I did go kinda overboard. Took too many days off. Mom was right. If I don’t finish school, I’ll become a big-time dummy. That’s not happening. I’m ready. Not going to take it lightly.

Hachi: Uh, speaking of which, what’s the deal with that guy? Is he from Seikishi too?

Chiwan: He totally had the same last name as Ryori during roll call. What’s up with that?

Ryori: <GLANCING AT THE SAIYAN BEFORE SPEAKING; LEDAS HARDLY PAYS ATTENTION TO THEM> Oh, Ledas. He’s from the countryside. He’s my, uh, distant cousin. Transferring in next semester. Just needs to get caught up. You know how it is—they don’t teach much in the backwoods.

Chiwan: Backwoods? <SHE LEANS IN TOWARDS LEDAS> Yo dude, are you a backwoods savage?

Ledas: <LOOKING UP, FACE COVERED IN FOOD> A savage, what's that?

<HACHI, AZASHI, AND CHIAKI STIFLE LAUGHTER WHILE RYORI SHAKES HIS DAMN HEAD; CHIWAN NARROWS HER EYES, SOMEWHAT BEMUSED>

Ippi: <FACE-PALMING> You couldn’t make this up.

Chiwan: Where exactly are you from, Ledas?

Ledas: <WIPING HIS MOUTH WITH A NAPKIN> Uh, I’m from Vegeta… <REALIZES AS HE'S SAYING IT AND SLOWS DOWN, PANICKING SLIGHTLY WHILE RYORI GLARES AT HIM> land. Vegetaland, yeah. It’s, uh, it’s—

Ryori: <CUTTING HIM OFF IN A PANICKED TONE> South. Really, really far south of here. Like way in the outback.

Chiwan: Vegetaland? What a strange name. I’ve never heard of that place before.

Chiaki: You should invite us over for lunch some weekend. Hahah! Do they have television out there? <LEDAS BEGINS TO NOD, BUT RYORI ONCE MORE GLARES AT HIM, STEADFAST AS AN ARBOK, SO THE SAIYAN INSTEAD SHAKES HIS HEAD> Oof, maybe we should crash at Chiwan’s place instead.

Hachi: We’re no savages; we have a big screen.

Chiwan: Daddy doesn’t let us have one in our rooms, though. And only one hour of video games per night before he shuts off the wifi at 10:00 p.m.

Ledas: Bleh! What’s that horrible sauce? It’s so greasy and overpowering. Ruins the flavor of the meat and cheese. Ew, that’s foul. Really, really foul.

Chiaki: You mean mayonnaise? Who doesn’t like mayonnaise? Seriously, that’s whack.

Hachi: Anyways, Daddy doesn’t play games. He doesn’t understand.

Chiaki: <RETURNING FOCUS TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND; EYES WIDENING IN HORROR> The nerve. Bro, I don’t know how you guys put up with that. It’s absolute crap, bollocks, borderline child abuse. So glad my parents aren’t that kind of horrible, no offense. You can’t take away video games, man. That’s some bullshit.

Azashi: Video games aren’t everything in life. Who cares?

Chiaki: Spoken like a true prude. Not the point. It’s the fact their parents are acting like tyrants. I’d never treat my kids like that. That’s a surefire way to make your kids go no-contact with you once they’re adults. No offense, but that’s really awful parenting.

Ryori: Our house has a sweet 4K television. There’s no curfew. Ledas won’t be going back to Vegetaland every day. We have a good setup in the city. <HE EXCHANGES A LOOK WITH LEDAS; THE SAIYAN LAUGHS DEVIOUSLY, KNOWING THAT JIA HAD IN FACT GIVEN THEM AN UNENFORCEABLE 9:00 P.M. CURFEW> We’ve got the new ZCrate 720. Been playing lots of Smash. Sixty-eight inches, by the way.

Ledas: Oh, it’s a real big un.

Chiaki: Lucky.

Ledas: Mhm. I never knew about video games before I came to this planet—I mean place. <IPPI GIGGLES, WHILE CHIAKI LOOKS SURPRISED; RYORI SHAKES HIS HEAD> They’re super addicting.

Ryori: <TALKING QUICKLY TO GLOSS OVER LEDAS’ SLIP> We’ve been playing tons of Super Smash Triplets: Mega Ultimate Champion Mr. Satan Limited Edition. Ever heard of it? It’s the best thing ever.

Chiwan: I bet I could beat ya. I’m pretty good at Smash.

Ryori: Oh yeah? Challenge accepted. Any day, any time, I’ll destroy you.

Chiwan: Cocky, eh? You don’t know who you’re up against.

Hachi: It’s true. She smokes me almost every time.

Ryori: Maybe you’ll be more of a challenge than Ledas, but I don’t have high hopes. I’m a god.

Chiaki: Ah, I love that game. King Chappa’s my best character. His aerials are so clean. I can rack up combos with him like a motherfucker.

Ledas: <MUTTERING TO HIMSELF> Halo 2’s better, ‘cept for those damn jackal snipers and their one-frame reaction times. How’s that even remotely fair?

Chiaki: They’re not as bad if you memorize their spawn patterns. Tough still, but not unbeatable.

Ledas: Have you beaten the game on legendary?

Chiaki: Me and my sister completed it two months ago. Took a while, but yeah, we did it.

Ledas: Wow! You gotta show us your tricks. We’ve been stuck on the second gondola on Regret for like five days.

Chiaki: Sure, I can walk you through it after school. No sweat. Second gondola’s one of the more difficult sections, but you don’t know how bad it gets from there. You’re going to have to become a lot better to be able to beat Gravemind.

Ledas: What’s that?

Chiaki: You’ll see. The game’s hard but it’s not unbeatable. I guarantee I can show you how to get through it.

Ryori: I’ll hold you to that promise, dude.

<12:53 P.M.>

Jia: <SCRUNCHING UP HER FACE WHILE FACEPALMING> S-sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Oh, kami. Don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. <SHE SHUDDERS>

Jia: <IN HER MIND> How could anybody reasonably get used to this? If I put it on my resume, people would think I’ve lost it completely. Not sure I haven’t.

<1:19 P.M.>

<1:35 P.M.>

Azashi: <IN HIGH SPIRITS> No, no, the white wine’s in the marinade. I wasn’t drinking it.

Chiaki: Your parents let you cook with wine?

Azashi: The alcohol evaporates during the cooking process, so no one cares. My brother hooks me up. He works in a bar.

Ryori: Is he good for more of that if we pay?

Azashi: I don’t know, maybe. I’d have to ask him.

Ledas: What are you guys talkin’ about?

Ryori: <WHISPERING> I’ll tell ya later.

Ledas: <HANDS IN HIS HOODIE POCKETS; STILL LOOKING UP> Those ships sure are loud. How can you stand it? Gah, my ears!

Chiaki: They’re called trains. And trust me, you get used to it. I live next to Sanshō Station and I sleep like a log.

Ledas: <MASSAGING HIS LEFT EAR WITH THE BASE OF HIS PALM> I dunno about that.

Ryori: <WHISPERING TO LEDAS> You gotta get Jia to give us money for tomorrow. I’m not missing out on this again. Look at that minced katsu sandwich.

Ledas: Huh? We have to pay? They don’t just feed you?

Ryori: <SIGHING> No, Ledas, they don’t just feed you.

Ledas: Humans are cruel.

Vegan woman: <SCREAMING> Excuse me, tubby, do you know that every piece of meat you consume makes you culpable for the murder of a living being? Are you okay with having those lives on your conscience? How could you?

Tabashi: Hey, who are you calling tubby?

Vegan Beta Male #1: <STANDING UP> Watch it, kid. Subutayo’s^[2] team leader.

Ledas: <HORRIFIED> N-no meat? That’s absolute torture! I’d die before giving it up.

Tabashi: I’ll talk to her however I want, man. Why don’t you go jump on those tracks? It’ll be a fun time. Please, we’re all waiting.

Vegan Beta Male #2: Toxic! Toxic! Don’t joke about stuff like that.

Chiaki: <BEMUSED; FINISHING OFF HIS BUN; TO SUBUTAYO> Nothin’ like that authentic, savory taste of barbeque pork.

Subutayo: <SHOVING HIM BACK, WHICH ALARMS LEDAS AND NO ONE ELSE> Get lost, kid. You know what you are? A Murderer—a serial murderer. I don’t have respect for shitstains like you.

Chiaki: I mean I like a bowl of Fortuitous Trinkets every now and then, but—

Vegan Beta Male #1: I bet you have yours with milk, dontcha, you exploitative, dead-meat-eatin’ little lout?

Chiaki: <CONCEDING FACIAL GESTURE> Well, I’m not some backwoods savage.

Subutayo: <VOICE SHAKING WITH RAGE> Meat is murder, and milk is rape.

Vegan Beta Male #2: Eggs don’t belong to you. You’re stealing from poor innocent hens. Eat your own if you want any.

Ledas: <MUTTERING TO RYORI> C’mon, lemme at ‘em. They’re about to fight.

Ryori: No way, dude. Don’t draw attention.

<WELL, LEDAS HUFFED AND PUFFED AND EXHALED A PRECISE CHANNEL OF WIND TOWARDS THE VEGANS’ TABLE; THEIR PAPERS, FLIERS, AND PAMPHLETS FLY DOWN THE STATION, SCATTERING TO THE AIR, SOME LANDING ON THE TRACKS; THE TABLE IS BLOWN A FEW METERS AWAY, CRASHING INTO A VENDING MACHINE, ONE OF THE LEGS SNAPPING OFF AS IT LANDS WITH A REVERBERATING THUD; SUBUTAYO’S DRESS BLOWS ABOUT, AND INDIGNANTLY BLUSHING, SHE BECKONS HER BETAS TO HELP HER GATHER UP THEIR VINTAGE VEGAN LITERATURE>

Tabashi: One thing’s for certain: I’ll never grow up to be that pathetic.

<OUTSIDE, LEDAS AND RYORI LOOK LONGINGLY INTO THE WINDOWS OF THE VENDING MACHINES>

Ryori: That minced katsu sandwich looks amazing. I’m so hungry. And it’s only Ƶ50, too. Dude, what a steal.

Ledas: <LOOKING TO EITHER SIDE BEFORE DOING THIS; THE VEGANS ARE DOWN AT THE OTHER END OF THE PLATFORM, FRANTICALLY GATHERING UP THEIR FLYERS> Okay, okay, settle down. Where there’s food, there’s a way. Always.

Ryori: Alright, this is what I’m talking about. But we shouldn’t do this all the time. Don’t wanna get caught.

Ledas: <DETERMINED LOOK> Jia’ll cover us starting tomorrow.

<4:58 P.M.>

<DR. USUBA AND OSCALPANO ARE SEATED NEXT TO ONE ANOTHER, A TRIO OF COMPUTERS BEFORE THEM; A NEW RED RIBBON ARMY SCIENTIST IS WITH THEM; OSCALPANO SIPS RED WINE, WHILE DR. USUBA PREFERS COFFEE; THE SCIENTIST POINTS TO SOMETHING ON THE MIDDLE COMPUTER SCREEN; THE CAMERA MOVES THERE, SHOWING A RECORDING OF THE FIGHT BETWEEN NAPPA AND A NAVY BATALLION>

NRRA Scientist: This classified material comes from King Furry himself. As you can see, the alien made short work of our finest soldiers. They stood no chance.

Dr. Usuba: <SWATTING AWAY A MOSQUITO; SLIGHTLY INCENSED> Conventional weapons won’t work against the bastards, that much is clear. Poison could be an option. Have you looked into that?

Oscalpano: They possess unknown physiology, despite how humanlike they appear. We could try, but if it fails, the boy would surely retaliate and become harder to hit a second time. Don’t know what he’s fully capable of. Might destroy a city if things go wrong. I can’t have those lives on our hands.

Dr. Usuba: <BRUSHING AWAY THE MOSQUITO AGAIN> Neither can I. Damn it, what’s with the bugs? I thought this was a clean room.

Oscalpano: <LEANING OVER TO CLAP THE MOSQUITO BETWEEN HIS HANDS> Sorry about that, doctor. Must’ve snuck in when one of us went in or out. Let’s not lose focus. Poison is an option, one we should try, but in case it doesn’t work, we need a backup plan.

Dr. Usuba: <RUBBING THE TOP OF HIS HAND WHERE A RED BUMP HAS FORMED, SCRATCHING IT DESPERATELY> Play that one again. <HE POINTS TO THE RIGHT MONITOR, WHICH SHOWS FOOTAGE OF THE CELL GAMES; GOKU AND CELL FIGHT AT AN INSANE PACE, THE CAMERA BARELY PICKING THEM OUT EVERY TEN SECONDS OR SO> Do we know if the alien is as strong as these two?

Oscalpano: He’s just a boy, so logic would imply no. In truth, we don’t have the faintest clue.

Dr. Usuba: If the poison slows him down or makes him sick, it could serve as an opening. One of your operatives is with him now, correct?

Oscalpano: Jia’s looking over him. He doesn’t know she’s with us.

Dr. Usuba: We’ll need to test his limits before going in for the kill. <SCRATCHING HIS HAND> Have her put poison in his food. See if it invokes a reaction. The strongest you have. If so, that’s our window.

Oscalpano: What do you mean?

Dr. Usuba: If we cannot match his power, we’ll use his own against him. Those energy blasts are remarkably exotic. We’ll harness it for ourselves <HE LOOKS AT THE BUG BITE, REFRAINING FROM SCRATCHING THE RED-RAW AREA> by taking it from him. If we cannot beat him with the best of our technology, we’ll use his own energy reserves against him. Too many have already died from the aliens’ abhorrent ambitions. They will be avenged, I swear on my life.

<9:57 P.M.>

Ryori: You’ll be back by morning, right?

Ledas: Yep.

Ryori: You sure?

Ledas: Absolutely.

Ryori: Okay, okay. It’s just…

Ledas: Hmm?

Ryori: <AFTER A PAUSE> Since Shoekki died, I don’t have anybody else. I’m not going back to Hosomaki where my grandparents live. I can’t. You’re my only friend up here. I don’t want to lose you too.

Ledas: Whoa, I’m just going for a quick sparring session with Vegeta. I’ll be back. Besides, that’s not true. At the other school, you told me you were the one in charge. I’ll never forget that. You were hecka confident, Ryori.

Ryori: They liked me cuz I stole Shoekki’s motorcycle and let them ride it. They didn’t care about me, just the capsules. You were my only real friend there. No one in Seikishi would’ve cared about me if I didn’t show up with a ride. That was how I became popular. But it wasn’t real. They weren’t my friends. I don’t want to go back to that.

Ledas: You’re my friend too.

Ryori: A-are you staying here? I mean on Earth. I don’t know what your plan is.

Ledas: Oh yeah, I’m definitely staying. I came here looking for Vegeta. He’s my prince. There aren’t many of us Saiyans left—not since Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta. Vegeta and Kakarot and their offspring live here, so I’ll be around. Although, I may want to go check out other planets every now and then.

Ryori: <MASKING A SNIFFLE WITH A LAUGH> We gotta go for a ride in your ship. I wanna visit another planet. Nobody would believe me if I told them, though, heh.

Ledas: That’ll be fun. Let’s do it.

Ryori: Probably should wait until our classes are finished. Gotta get through them no matter what. <HE YAWNS> Well, have fun. Try not to break any bones. <THE SAIYAN NODS, SMIRKING, AND BOUNDS OFF TO THE DOOR> Ledas, hang on a second.

Ledas: Hmm?

Ryori: Can we really trust <HE LOWERS HIS VOICE> her? What if she tries to get me while you’re gone? They could take me hostage again and—

Ledas: Not going to happen. My Saibamen are out back, remember? I’ve taught them how to sense a person’s life force. They’ll know if anything’s up. You’ve got nothing to worry about, trust me. They’re elite warriors, stronger than any human outside of Vegeta’s friends. And the same goes for if I’m off the planet. I’ll leave Carawa with you. He’ll protect you no matter what. He knows you’re family. He’s smarter than he looks.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name is a sarcastic reference to Subutayo and her Chive Collective. It also references a lyric in the song "Any Friend of Dianne's" by Weezer.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 2: Monkey See
  1. scene 1: at lunch, Ledas and Ryori get to know Chiaki, Hachi, and Chiwan, while not sitting at the same table as the other three students; Ledas makes his Vegetaland comment
  2. scene 2: Jia enters the kitchen in the morning and shrieks, seeing a Saibaman getting a glass of water (causing him to drop it); she apologies and he races out
  3. scene 3: short scene of the students working; Ryori tries to see Ledas moving, but can't detect any movements
  4. scene 4: after school, the gang returns to the train station, where they are accosted by several deranged people selling things on the train platform; Ledas is introduced to vending machine food and quickly becomes a fan (Chiaki notices that he uses ki to break one of the bag of goodies out of the machine); Tabashi is slapped by a deranged man who had been trying to sell him something stupid; ledas wants to confront the guy, but Ryori asks him not to
  5. scene 5: back at home, Ledas and Ryori discuss Seikishi City and not going back, with Ryori admitting that he had put on a front before to make himself appear more popular than he actually had been (he had had no real friends, only people that liked to use him for his brother's capsules); he is fine starting again in West City, noting that he has still kept all of his brother's belongings in their storage closet; Ledas mentions that whenever he leaves Earth, he will leave at least one Saibaman to protect Ryori from Cardinal
2. The original outline did not include the Usuba scene, as he didn't exist during the first draft of chapter 2. Also, the vegans weren't originally at the train station. I don't recall specifically when I added them to the scene. Probably thought the man's confrontation with Tabashi wasn't funny enough shortly after sitting down to write it. Dunno. Otherwise, the scenes as presented are what occurred. This chapter originally had a different name. Much happier with "Meat is Murder".
My notes for the first draft of chapter 2 are as follows:
1. the Saibamen should be out and about a lot, though usually out back sunning or sparring, or in the kitchen getting water
2. 11/24/22: the jia/saibaman scene in ch2 was originally supposed to be the ch3 opener, but went better happening at that point
3. 12/1/22: azashi is describing, in the second chapter, scene 4, how to cook halibut 'Fish en Papillote' style (fancypants that he is)
4. 12/5/22: chapter 2 name changed from "Monkey See" to "Meat is Murder"
5. Subuta (sweet-and-sour pork) ---> Subutayo
6. the Saibaman sprouting juice is in a little container, and undoubtedly, Ledas has little of it left, so he should go to Bulma to have her replicate the slime
7. Ledas and Ryori have a convo about Ryori not wanting to return to Seikishi middle school after what happened to Kyokatoshi + Ryori wasn't really "the one in charge", as he had boasted, but had merely gained some popularity by stealing his brother's capsules containing motorcycles, etc. to play around on ---> he hadn't actually been friends with any of them, and Ledas was his first real one
8. Ledas mentions that Cardinal will never abduct or hurt Ryori again because even when he's gone, he'll leave at least one Saibaman to protect Ryori
9. 1/26/23: this should be noted now, in case it is forgotten later (although this occurred at least 2 months prior); the original goal for this saga was to show how the relationship between Ledas and Ryori develops, with them becoming a couple by ch3-4, but this idea was not executed in practice, as by the time the writing began (particularly by the time of the first draft of the second chapter), the relationship concept was changed to be far more gradual and to not occur until the end of the saga (or close to it); the original concept for the saga was to also be way more openly sexual and graphic (thus, making it unable to be posted to the wiki), but this is no longer the case, although there will be several deleted scenes and/or chapter(s)
My notes for the second draft of chapter 2 are as follows:
1. 1/3/24: I'd prefer if all 8 were sitting at the same lunch table from the start
2. 11/21/23: have a scene where Ledas tries mayonaise and hates it, gagging and nearly throwing up; several of the students agree with him and several do not
3. 11/21/23: have a scene where someone says "I could care less", causing someone else to reply "well then why don't you?"
4. 1/3/24: Chiaki's intro about himself is good, but it could be great ---> make it so
5. 1/3/24: name Chiaki's doctor ---> parody it on some philosopher or something
6. 1/3/24: Ledas should instead say "A savage, what's that?"
7. 1/3/24: have Chiaki go more into how Hachi/Chiwan's parents are bad people because of how they handle the wifi ---> this is commentary against HZ's family, so be careful
8. 1/3/24: no more Areole 2 ---> use Halo 2
9. 1/3/24: have Ledas rant a lil more specifically about jackal snipers
10. 1/3/24: in the third scene, have Ledas run his hand through his hair, not the other way around, which is incorrect phrasing
11. 1/3/24: in the fourth scene, name that goddamn street!
12. 7/23/23: have a scene where Dr. Usuba is accosted by mosquitos while working on his project
13. 1/3/24: add a Usuba scene right at the end where he's with the RRA scientists and begins working on his creations; emphasize how much he hates aliens/Saiyans; this could possibly be the scene where he has trouble with mosquitos
14. 1/3/24: in the final scene, have Ryori's five weeks changed to four to be consistent with the lore
The first draft was written from November 17, 2022 - December 5^th. I edited a tiny bit more that same day, editing again on December 7^th, going through all of the scenes. I didn't remember doing this. I didn't consider any of the chapters to have been second-drafted until I came back to the story in March 2024. So technically these first two chapters had at least an additional draft over what I catalogued. I also did minor editing on December 9^th, December 27^th, and January 15^th, 2023. My "official" second draft began on April 7, 2024. I edited the chapter through the fifth draft (unofficially the sixth) daily, finishing the chapter on April 9^th. I don't recall this chapter being much of an issue outside of the first scene, where I had to add quite a lot of dialogue. There were around five hundred words added to the first scene from the first to final drafts.
I wrote the second and third scenes before finishing the first scene (only getting through Chiwan's first line of dialogue before doing those other scenes), as they were much simpler to complete. When the kids reach the vending machines in the fourth scene, I took a break from that one to write some of the Ledas/Ryori discussion at night in their beds (originally the fifth scene but now the sixth scene). However, once I got about halfway through the first paragraph, I returned to the train station scene and finished that one up first. Not sure why this happened. I must've been having problems coming up with the vegan stuff.
So the outline originally had Tabashi, Azashi, and Ippi sitting at a second table, not being part of the opening scene. I didn't much like that, as it didn't give me any room to develop those characters. I wasn't sure if I wanted them to be prominent in this scene (I certainly knew that Ippi would not be, as she is by far the most minor character), but I at least wanted the option, and it also didn't really make sense for them to split up. It's only eight of them in it for the long haul. Logically, they'd at least get to know each other on the first day before splitting into sub-factions.
The students who didn't introduce themselves and their situations in this scene already did so before it began.
Chiwan holding court was important to show that she's a fairly dominant girl. She's honestly the leader of the pack, so gotta get that out there early.
I quite like mushu pork and sticky rice, so that's why I gave it to Ryori and Ledas. As well, it's more traditional Chinese food, and there's a certain symbolic contrast against Chinese/Japanese food versus more western food. Chiwan, Hachi, Azashi, Chiaki, Tabashi, and Ippi all have more western-style food. Hachi, Chiwan, and Chiaki's style could be seen as American, while Azashi's is Italian, I believe, and Tabashi's is Mexican. Ippi's could go in a lot of different directions since she only eats apples and salads for lunch, for the most part (aside from tasting Azashi's treats on occasion). Azashi's lunch is far more sophisticated than the others', foreshadowing his cooking expertise, which comes up in several minor plotlines throughout the saga.
I gave Chiwan and Hachi an illness as an excuse for not completing seventh grade because I did not consider either of them to be stupid or lazy. Tabashi and Chiaki are certainly lazy. Ryori and Ledas were injured/unavailable. For Azashi, Ippi, and Tabashi, I never divulged their reasons for being placed in the accelerated class. That's what anthologies are for, I guess. Ippi most likely suffered a severe anxiety attack that took her out for months, and through therapy, worked towards coming back into the fold (she's still very shy and quiet overall). Tabashi likely had to help his uncle at the auto shop and/or played hooky enough to the point that his uncle threatened to send him to military school if he didn't pass the summer class. Azashi is a much more difficult person to assess. Maybe he missed a month of school because he had to visit his dying grandmother in another city on the other side of the world? I don't know. It's not super important to the saga.
I made Chiwan and Hachi come from Parsley Town so that Chiaki and the others wouldn't recognize them. Plus, it interested me to create characters from a town only shown in Future Trunks' timeline. It's never really brought up though if Chiaki, Tabashi, Ippi, and Azashi know each other. Perhaps a missed opportunity there.
I began the scene during Chiwan's explanation of her family moving to West City because it ties into Ryori's reason for being sidelined too.
The first scene was terribly difficult to write. One of the most difficult overall because this is where I had to actually, finally, decide upon the seventh-graders' personalities and backstories. I spent a lot of time editing this scene. Developing their dynamics and friendships both fluidly and quickly was a challenge. Reading it back now, I have no complaints. I especially like how the conversation transitions to Chiaki's backstory. That part flowed how I wanted it to, and reading it back now, I don't see any glaring weaknesses in how I handled that, which is a relief.
I quite hate the aesthetics of post-modernism, of the concepts of the relativity of truth and the fragmenting and de-beautification of prose and storytelling in general. Chiaki mocks this by clinging to a fake diagnosis that he uses to not only scam his therapist but parents. He's none too bothered by it, instantly coloring his character as cunning despite his laziness. There's some social commentary about how in modern American society, weaponizing mental illnesses and disabilities is seen as a badge of honor, something to be sought because the victim mentality gives social points and brings on pity from those around oneself, creating a paradoxical shield of victimhood and privilege. It's quite frankly disgusting and I have no respect for the people who do this. Chiaki rightly mocks them. The idea that punching down in comedy is wrong has become a more popular opinion amongst those who wish to silence free speech, and to them, all I will say is fuck you. You don't get to decide what I joke about, you don't get to decide what's funny, and most importantly, by doing this, you're saying that marginalized groups aren't equal to other groups, can't take jokes, can't be treated with equal respect. That's positively demeaning and insulting. Equality means everyone gets made fun of, not through the lens of hate, but through the lens of seeing nobody as superior to anyone else, be they a different ethnicity, have disabilities (mental or physical), or be from a sexual minority. All is and will be fair game in my stories and I will not apologize about that because I see everyone as people and I treat everyone equally. Equality is justice; equity is authoritarianism.
Chiaki's personality of being a chill but clever dude, and the way he trolls his parents, explains how he became such good friends with Ryori and Ledas. He shares a similar sense of humor as them. I did this to show why he of all the seventh-graders is at their house when Chaiva comes to visit in Cold Vengeance. I'm positive they hung out with him more than anyone else from this group for that reason most of all.
I despise people who say "could care less". Such a brainless thing to say.
The distant cousin lie lasts for a few chapters. I don't have a specific scene detailing when the others realize he's not Ryori's cousin, but in the chapter where they go into outer space and Ledas reveals himself as an alien, it becomes very clear that he's not related to Ryori. Beyond that, Chiaki and Tabashi pretty much figure out for certain after they find that note in the boys' bedroom implying they're sleeping together in chapter 10.
The irony in Chiwan's confrontation about Ledas' identity is that he is, in reality, a savage. Him not really understanding what that means is the first of many instances of not fully grasping human culture yet, forming suspicious cracks in their minds about who he really is. Ledas isn't a good liar. He will often say things or act in ways that don't mask his alien nature very well. The theme of identity is of critical importance in the saga, and the way it parallels his alien nature as well as his bisexual nature is intentional. The latter is downplayed, of course, but is tackled in a similar manner (mostly in the deleted chapter and deleted scene #5, to be fair).
I am fond of the Vegetaland joke. The first of many instances of Ledas sticking his foot in his mouth.
I don't think it's ever a good idea to waste a moveslot on Glare with Arbok, but maybe that's only in competitive play.
Chiwan and Hachi's parents' rules about video game usage was based on HZ's family's rules for their kids. I always found this immoral, but I tried not to be super super critical about it. HZ didn't mention anything to me when he read this chapter about that, so I don't think he noticed the parallel. But it got so bad that they had to routinely sneak out at night to play while their parents slept, and as far as I can tell, that didn't negatively affect them. All of them seem to be successful adults. It's bad parenting, straight up, and if I ever have kids (which I do hope to, I have to say), I'd never impose those rules on them. It's not right. I could say more but don't wanna rock the boat.
I really, really hate mayonnaise. I was looking for a place to put in a scene of Ledas finding it hideous throughout the first draft, but never did. I added that in during the second or third draft phase of scene 1. What really annoys me is how mayo is the default on like pretty much everything. You have to special order to get rid of it on almost every sandwich. I much prefer other sauces. Mayo just tastes bad to me. I do recognize that it's just oil and eggs, both of which I like, so it's not super logical why the combination makes me retch. I dunno. It tastes foul and smells fouler. The most irritating thing is how often orders get messed up. I tell them "no mayo" and mayo will still be there like 50% of the time or so. It's always a gamble. I wish American culture was different. That shouldn't be the default. Alas that I'm in the minority on this issue because it really sucks. It's so hard to get mayo off the sandwich. Remnants of the flavor remaining no matter how many napkins I use.
Ippi is class for raising her hand.
I agree with everything Chiaki says about Chiwan and Hachi's parents. I gave him this dialogue because I love him a lot as a character, instilling some of my values upon him. Were I Hachi or Chiwan in this instance and the wifi went off at 10:00 p.m. every night even when I was 17 or 18, I would seriously consider going no-contact with my parents after moving out. I'm not joking. That's such an ignorant thing to do. Everything is on the internet nowadays. Homework, friends, games, research. Limiting a person in this way is unnecessary cruelty and only serves to alienate the child from the parent. It also blatantly shows how ignorant the parents are of the importance of the internet in all facets in modern life.
I think I added in the part about Ryori inviting everyone over to his house because they end up spending tons of time there during the saga and I wanted to explain why that tended to be their main gathering point.
The ZCrate 720 is a parody of the Xbox 360.
I like Super Smash Bros., but it's not one of the great series of all time. Not a single one of its installments is on my top 20 video games list. Still, it's a decent multiplayer series and I wanted to have some fun with the game in future scenes that Hyper Zergling would enjoy, as he's a SSB fanatic. Of course Smash in Dragon Ball is the triplets edition instead of bros because we always gotta one-up real life in this series.
Pitting Ryori and Chiwan against one another in terms of confidence was a way to show that neither will back down against each other. With that said, I think Chiwan is in fact better than Ryori at the game, but I don't believe we ever see them duel.
Using Ledas' dialogue to express my frustrations with Halo 2 (the game is great, but the difficulty balance is absurd on legendary) was quite entertaining. The fact that even a Saiyan, while trying, cannot beat one-frame reactions is a way to show just how broken that feature is.
The short Saibamen scenes were something I had planned in general terms, as seen in this chapter's first draft notes, but I didn't have a great idea about most of them until I outlined the chapters. I just kind of winged it and went for the awkward comedy angle most of the time.
There's something endearing about a red Saibaman struggling to turn on the sink. This type of humor is very much in my style, especially considering his power level, and I think it overlaps to a degree with Toriyama's comedic inclinations.
Jia's interaction with Ses is not just about the comedic factor, although that is a big bonus. She's beginning to integrate into Ledas and Ryori's lives, beginning to understand the absurdity and alien stuff that lies within, and as of now, she's not doing so smoothly. She's also not handling it poorly—apologizing to Ses and, while finding the whole thing crazy in her mind, doesn't scream or freak out. This is the first step towards joining the family. It's going to be a shock at first, yes, but how one responds to that shock shows one's character and empathy.
I don't show much of the lessons in class because that's boring shit. I think the only stuff I go into detail about are the history lessons about the 4 species-ending events that tie into Dragon Ball because I wanted to see the characters' reactions to them. There are a few shorter scenes of Ledas scamming and afterimaging, cheating his way through class, but these are never in-depth. That's on purpose. Of note is the fact that Ledas appears tired but is actually rushing around the room, showing that the way he's using afterimages, while a form of training, is not exerting him beyond his capabilities in the slightest.
Were the fourth scene ever drawn in a manga, I would write out Azashi's dialogue about the banana mochi balls.
I find the fact that Hachi and Chiwan's mother picks them up in her car instead of letting them ride the train both endearing and controlling. She's doing the right thing for the wrong reasons, basically.
The stuff about Azashi's older brother and him having access to alcohol is something that will come up later in a big way. Some intentional foreshadowing went on in the fourth scene to build up to that.
Ledas' reaction to all the people in the city is interesting. He's an introvert, so in some way this is a negative emotion. At the same time, he's feeling nostalgia for the bustling nature of the capital city on Planet Vegeta during his youth. He hasn't been to such a place (that he hasn't been assigned to conquer) since he was four. He also finds the architecture beautiful, which allows for an unsaid emotional reaction. I took from my own experiences in San Francisco, which I've visited a few dozen times, when writing this part.
Ledas has Saiyan super hearing, so the trains would be louder for him, however, I also have sensitive hearing, so I added a bit of my experiences to that part.
I spent a lot of time on train platforms during my time at college, and there's a certain desolate beauty to them when they're abandoned in my opinion. When you're the only one there, the train isn't arriving soon, and the wind is blowing—it tugs at the heart. When the train stations are busier, it's a more chaotic, dirty place, a nexus of society and human technological achievement. I delved into these aesthetics in Suicide Missionary too.
I've always loved the Japanese vending machine culture. Wanted to go into it in this story because not only is it cool, but Ledas loves food, and there's always the possibility for plot/humor developments around that idea. I remember when I was taking Japanese, there was a whole unit on vending machines and vending machine culture. I used my knowledge of that here as well as looking up several youtube videos to see exactly how train platform vending machines look to make sure I could picture them in my mind's eye when I was writing.
Tabashi's vending machine order shows why he's the big boy of the group. That's a lot of food to eat so soon after lunch.
"No, Ledas, they don’t just feed you." - this is one of my favorite Ryori lines ever. Lots of subtext going on here. Dare I criticize human culture? Am I even going against capitalism? How radical of KV. KV doesn't usually go down that path.
The vegan scene was super fun to write. I have no problem with vegans, but militant vegans, which the trio are, do not get any sympathy. They're terrible people. You can eat what you want; I will eat what I want. Do not tell me what to do. I channel Azashi in the final scene of chapter 12 with a brief monologue about this concept, so I won't go too deeply into that here, but the gist is that while butchering practices are oftentimes inhumane, that does not mean the solution is to eat no meat at all. Humans are designed to consume meat. Supplements and replacements exist, but they are simulacra at best. I will eat meat no matter what and you cannot stop me. Ledas holds this belief passionately. When it comes to food, he does not mince words.
I chose the Chive Collective because Chaiva's awesome. Wanted to reference her vegetable here. The charlatans misusing it are battered down by Ledas, so he symbolically defends her honor.
Almost all of the vegan slogans are real ones that I found online. I went for the hackiest ones, naturally.
Tabashi's response to Vegan Beta Male #1 is something my brother would've said in that instance.
Chiaki makes a really bad cereal joke when Subutayo calls him a serial murderer. Fortuitous Trinkets is meant to be Lucky Charms. Oh boy is the cringe real (and intentional).
The fight against the vegans was somewhat difficult to write, I remember, but mostly from the kids' side, as the vegans are spewing slogans for the most part. I didn't have a great grasp on Tabashi and Chiaki's characters yet, so didn't really know how offended they'd get. Went through several versions with different levels of anger presented. Importantly, Ryori doesn't react to them because he just doesn't care. He doesn't let their words hurt him because he has no respect for militant vegans. This was the case in all drafts.
When it comes to food, Ledas doesn't hold back. He goes against Ryori's plea not to get involved, though I don't think he did anything too severe here. In my opinion, what Ledas did was right. Ryori isn't the arbiter of truth and morality. He can be wrong too. He wants Ledas to hold back solely because he doesn't want the other boys to figure out he's an alien. Ledas channels his rage in a more restrained way than is typical of him, and by doing that, he tries to respect Ryori's wishes.
It was immensely fun for me to tie the vending machine back into the scene, using it as a catalyst for Chiaki figuring out Ledas isn't human (or at least, a regular human). Ledas' tail popping out is his consequence for stealing. While this story is slice-of-life, there's still tension afoot. The cliffhanger set me up to have to explain Ledas' tail in the next chapter. When I wrote the first draft of that part, I didn't know where I was going with chapter 3, but it gave me a point to build from.
Dreamland in the distance from the end of the train platform recalls a specific image in my head of the train platform I'd take home from college where the skyscrapers of San Francisco poked out in the foggy distance. I found the imagery scenic, almost like a picture you'd find on a postcard, and wanted to recreate that here to some extent.
Oscalpano sipping wine versus Usuba and his coffee shows the difference in motivations right now. Oscalpano thinks things are going smoothly and is relaxed; Usuba is beginning to realize the gravity of the situation and thinks they are woefully unprepared to kill Ledas.
Tabashi brings up the classified footage of Nappa destroying the navy in chapter 8, lamenting that King Furry never released it to the public. He only knew it existed because his father was part of that navy.
Usuba bringing up the poison option with Oscalpano fixes that in Oscal's mind and is why he tries to use that against Ledas in chapter 10 after the rest of the NRRA (not stationed on the Crimson Fingers) is wiped out.
The mosquitoes that torment Usuba inspire him to create the Kiseibachi.
Ledas is of course far above Goku and Cell during the Cell Games at this point. The poor NRRA blokes don't realize how outmatched they are. I almost feel bad for them.
Jia poisoning Ledas wasn't in draft 1. I added it in later to build her character arc more cohesively. It also seems more logical that Usuba would try a practical, cautious approach to start with to gauge the boy's power. Oscalpano goes along with this because it's seemingly low-risk (assuming Jia isn't caught) and will provide proof of Jia's loyalty to the NRRA.
Usuba lays out his plans more clearly than I remembered. Perhaps it's because I know the story that the Kiseibachi being based on mechanical mosquitoes sucking out Ledas' energy and using it against him is what happens, but the extended focus on him scratching his bites and complaining about the bugs gives it away, I think. For what it's worth, Hyper Zergling did not realize what was going to happen after reading this chapter, but his is just one opinion. Dunno if that's the common way of looking at this or not.
The tail imagery in the sixth scene is less subtle than I remembered. A Saiyan's tail and, well, the obvious appendage parallel, symbolize fighting passion versus the most intense type of passion (which should be obvious). The theme of the way and means these passions contrast throughout the saga is a major part of Ledas' character arc.
It's true that Ryori was part of a large gang of kids in the Planet Earth Saga. Explaining that they weren't really his friends, but just in it for rides on Shoekki's motorcycle, also gives a good reason as to why Ryori doesn't want to go back to Seikishi or hang out with anyone from there. Ryori's loneliness after Shoekki's death is mitigated by Ledas' presence, showing why he values their friendship so dearly. At this point it's platonic, but that doesn't diminish its value to him. He shows immense vulnerability here again, likely spurred by their conversation the previous night in chapter 1 scene 8. Because Ledas is a thoughtful and empathetic friend, Ryori feels he can open up around him and express his emotions clearly. This is a precursor to how Ryori later confesses his feelings to Ledas in chapter 9.
Ryori remembers Ledas said Earth was his home in chapter 1 scene 8 but he's looking for reassurance because he feels he cannot under any circumstances lose Ledas or he'll be all alone. He's seeking to clarify that their living situation won't change at all, because he likes how things are even with Jia's addition. Perhaps he harbors a twinge of jealousy toward Vegeta knowing he cannot provide Ledas with companionship during sparring sessions. Ledas does a fairly mature job, given his personality, to reassure him nothing's going to change. His directness eases Ryori's mind even though he's still dwelling in his grief over Shoekki.
I believe the sixth scene is the first time Ledas mentions a desire to explore the universe. Maybe he did so in some late-stage dialogue of TF, but I don't remember. In any case, this lays the groundwork for his bounty-hunting job in the future but shows he's not going to be wholly consumed by that passion. He'll always be around, not only because he wants to spend time with Vegeta and the other Saiyans on Earth, but because he enjoys Ryori's friendship too. Ledas elevating Ryori to a roughly equal status as Vegeta is a radical turn in their friendship.
Ledas and Ryori set up plans to visit other planets in the sixth scene, foreshadowing the main plotline of chapter 7 as well as the final scene of chapter 12.5 (the deleted chapter whose name should probably never be mentioned on this wiki).
Ryori's fears about Jia are logical and it makes sense he'd bring them up in multiple scenes, especially so early in the story when she hasn't really become part of the gang yet. Ledas' clarification that Carawa will always stay on Earth to protect him is a big moment, showing not only that Ledas cares about Ryori significantly, but he's basically giving him one of his Saibamen. The generosity of this act is not lost on Ryori. He knows from then on that Ledas is absolutely serious about how much he cares about him as a friend. It may be (or not, I don't know) that Ryori began to wish for a romantic evolution in their relationship because of their compatibility and the way Ledas sticks up for him. Maybe, maybe not. The possibility is at least there.
This chapter was important in terms of developing the students' personalities and Ledas' non-human tendencies. Lots of important build-up here that helped me shape the dynamics of the story to come. In terms of tone and themes, this chapter feels more developed than chapter 1. I had great fun writing Ledas accidentally acting like an alien in front of the other kids, so it should come as no surprise that there's much more where that came from. The way in which the comedic tone contrasts more serious or dramatic moments is indicative of the style I would use throughout the rest of the saga and is one of the things I am most proud of. Anyways, onto the next chapter.

3. Sweet Little Ledas Has Become a Punker

<2:02 A.M.>

Vegeta: Hmph, you won’t last long on the battlefield expending your energy so recklessly.

Ledas: Yeah, sorry about that. I’m not used to the form like you and Kakarot. I only reached it a few weeks ago. Still trying to get a feel for the power consumption.

Vegeta: That’s no excuse. First, you must familiarize yourself with the energy output, learning to endure and harness it. Your stamina will build the more comfortable you grow. These training exercises are a start. Clearly, you have a long way to go before achieving mastery.

Ledas: Is that what you did?

Vegeta: <WALKING TO THE DOOR; LEDAS FOLLOWS; THEY SNATCH UP TOWELS ALONG THE WAY> Something like that.

Ledas: <PRIDEFULLY> Soon enough, I’ll become stronger than you, prince. <HIS STOMACH RUMBLES LOUDLY> But, uh, first, could we snag a midnight snack?

Vegeta: <STERN GAZE SOFTENING SOMEWHAT> I have just the one.

<2:08 A.M.>

Bulma: So this induces them to sprout from the ground? Honestly, it’s a cruder method than I would have expected.

Ledas: Since I’m not in the Planet Trade anymore, I don’t have access to refills. Could you replicate the liquid?

Bulma: <AFTER SLURPING UP MORE NOODLES> No sweat, kid. But it’ll cost you. I could use an extra pair of hands in the lab.

Ledas: Yeah, yeah, I figured.

Bulma: Vegeta wouldn’t dare be caught helping me in there. Then again, he isn’t a fan of that spicy chicken flavor, either. I had gotten to thinking Saiyans didn’t have much of a tolerance for spicy foods, but obviously, that’s not the case.

Vegeta: What? I tolerate it. No spice can conquer the Prince of all Saiyans!

Ledas: <CHUCKLING> Growing up on Planet Cooler 92, the local food was hecka spicy. I guess I got used to it. The hotter the better.

Vegeta: Oh yeah? I can handle spicier foods than you.

Ledas: <RISING TO HIS FEET, FISTS RAISED> I’d like to see you try.

Bulma: I appreciate the boast, honey, but let’s be real—it wasn’t even a week ago that you accidentally ate that scoop of wasabi. I can still hear your begging: “Oh Bulma, make it stop! Give me a senzu bean! More milk!” It was honestly pretty pathetic.

Vegeta: <GOING RED AND LOOKING AWAY> I thought it was peas in mashed potato form like you used to give Trunks when he was a baby.

<7:25 A.M.>

Ryori: <POKING HIM> Ledas, Ledas, hey, wake up. Ledas!

<LEDAS’ EYES OPEN, AND THIS AGAIN STARTLES RYORI BRIEFLY, FOR THEY ARE GREEN, NOT THE USUAL GREY>

Ledas: <STILL DREAMING> Oh cap’n, I didn’t steal Payar’s scouter. He’s always losin’ it, I swear…

Ryori: Dude, wake up!

Ledas: What the…? How’d I end up in the kitchen?

Ryori: <TAKING TWO GLASSES FROM THE CUPBOARD, POURING ORANGE JUICE INTO THEM> I dunno, just found you standing there. Want any?

Ledas: Yeah man, I’m parched. Nothing would be better right now.

Ryori: Did you come out for a midnight snack and fall asleep?

Ledas: <YAWNING THEATRICALLY> Nah, after my training, I went to bed. Or at least, I thought I did.

Jia: Ledas was sleepwalking last night. I found him in the guest bathroom just after 3 a.m., but soon after, fell asleep and lost track of him. He must have ended up out here, probably looking for a snack.

Ryori: You’re in Super Saiyan if you haven’t noticed. Maybe that’s why you were sleepwalking.

Ledas: <YAWNING AGAIN> To be fair, I’ve always been a sleepwalker. Back home at Vegeta and even at Planet Cooler 92, although I don’t remember doing it here before. Huh. Weird.

Jia: Alright, it’s time to get ready for school. We’re going to be out the door by seven-forty. What do you want for breakfast?

Ryori: Can I have French toast?

Ledas: Ooh, ooh, bacon bacon bacon! <JIA GIVES HIM A LOOK> And some eggs too, please, Miss Jia. Thank you.

Ledas: Aw, but Miss Jia, you didn’t burn ‘em crispy like I prefer.

Jia: Can’t be late for school. Breakfast has to be quick.

Ledas: Okay, fine. <HE STARES AT THE BACON IN HIS HAND; A FLASH OF SILVER LIGHT ROLLS ACROSS HIS EYES; THE PIECE OF BACON LIGHTS UP, ENGULFED WITHIN THE ENERGY OF A TINY KI BLAST; HOWEVER, LEDAS SEVERELY OVERCOOKS IT, CHARRING IT BLACK; WHAT ONCE HAD BEEN BACON CRUMBLES TO ASH HALF A HEART-BEAT LATER, SCATTERING ACROSS THE KITCHEN TILES> N-no, my precious bacon.

Ryori: Dude, you’re still in Super Saiyan. You don’t know your own power.

Ledas: Super Saiyan 2 actually. But yeah, you’re right. <HE SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SCARFS DOWN THE REMAINING STRIP OF NON-CRISPY BACON WITHOUT COMPLAINING> I gotta be more careful, especially in the classroom.

Ryori: What? You can’t go to class like that. Come on, bro. It’s too dangerous. You could hurt someone or accidentally destroy the whole room.

Ledas: I have to. It’s part of my training. I won’t mess up. I won’t. I’m not that reckless. I’m staying in this form until I can properly handle its massive energy consumption. It’s the only way I’ll be able to keep pace with Vegeta and his friends.

Jia: You already went yesterday in your regular form, yes? If you show up today with your hair like that, the teachers will think you’ve dyed it.

Ledas: So what? I don’t care.

Ryori: You can’t dye your hair. It’s against the rules. They’ll suspend you.

Jia: Even in a modern metropolis like West City, most of your teachers will be offended when they see you, Ledas. And it will reflect badly on my caregiving. I must insist you don’t go looking like that.

Ledas: Seriously? How can this be a problem? Humans are bizarre. My hair, my choice. Nobody has the right to tell me what to do with my body.

Jia: Dyeing one’s hair blond is an act of rebellion against one’s household, or at least it’s seen that way by traditional people. Your teachers will raise an issue over this. It’s taboo. Since you showed up the first day with black hair, your teachers will think you’re acting out.

Ledas: That’s stupid. It doesn’t matter anyway. My hair isn’t dyed. Look. <HE PLUCKS A HAIR OUT OF HIS TAIL AND HANDS IT TO RYORI, WHO LOOKS AT IT IN THE LIGHT; SURE ENOUGH, IT IS BLOND; HE HANDS IT TO JIA WHO SEES THAT IT IS INDEED A TRUE BLOND HAIR; HER EXPRESSION SOFTENS> See? There’s no way they could prove it. Besides, if I actually dyed my hair, it’d be teal or pink, not blond.

Ryori: You know, I heard about a girl who was forced to dye her hair black when it was naturally brown. She sued the school for big zeni.^[5] So if she won in court, Ledas would too. The teachers can’t do anything to him as long as his hair isn’t dyed. They don’t know shit about Super Saiyan.

Jia: <SIPPING HER COFFEE> Agreed. Nevertheless, it will reflect poorly upon my parenting. Ah, but what else can I say? You’ve already made up your mind. Oh well. Your choice, Ledas.

Ledas: You humans will have to get used to that. <HIS EYES NARROW, AND HIS LIPS DRAW TIGHT TOGETHER> My hair is my business and my business alone. Nobody tells me how to keep it. Your culture is too uptight. People need to mind their own business. Even if I had dyed it, it’s not like I’m bothering anyone. People who think that just because they’re offended they can make others change something like their hair color are the worst. Be offended; live with it. Doesn’t give you the right to make me do anything. I’m not a slave anymore. They shouldn’t get offended over stuff that doesn’t matter. Anyone who dares think otherwise will get burnt to a crisp like my poor, poor first slice.

<8:03 A.M.>

Ms. Kairyupin: Actually, let’s hold that thought. It seems I must, regrettably, excuse myself for a short while. Mr. Takkuro will fill in while I’m gone. Oh, and Ledas, you will need to come with me.

Ms. Kairyupin: Sorry to bother you, Mojisha, but there’s another hair-dyer. Fetch the machine, please.

Ledas: My hair’s not dyed, Miss Kairyupin, it just gets blonder in the sunlight. West City is a lot sunnier than where I’m from, so it’s no surprise.

Ms. Kairyupin: Do you think I was born yesterday?

Ledas: No, that’d be silly. You were born like fifty years ago, or something like that.

Ms. Kairyupin: <BLUSHING, BITING HER LIP> Watch your manners, kid. I’m not that old.

Ledas: Huh? Did I say something wrong?

Ledas: <NOTICING THE LOGO ON THE SIDE OF IT; TO HIMSELF> Capsule Corp. No way.

Mojisha: Mrs. Bulma Brief made and distributed these herself to every school in the region, per the Royal Secretary of Education. We can’t thank her enough for bringing an end to the plague of rebellious children, such as yourself, who disappoint their mothers so. If I remember correctly, there hasn’t been an incident in seven years. You’re late to the party, kid.

Ms. Kairyupin: Yes, Ledas, what does your mother think about your hair?

Ledas: She’s not thinking anything. She’s dead.

Ms. Kairyupin: It’s clear why you have done this. Without a mother figure, you dyed your hair, crying out in a desperate plea for attention. Well, Ledas, let me tell you, there are much nobler cries for help. You should never ever deface your beautiful black hair, a symbol of our nation, for any reason. If you’d like, I could book you a session with the school therapist. Grief, like all things, passes with time. You mustn’t deface yourself to flaunt your pain. You must get with the times. A disobedient nature won’t get you far.

Ledas: Look, my hair’s not dyed, and even if it was—

Ms. Kairyupin: Were.

Ledas: Huh?

Ms. Kairyupin: Even if it were.

Ledas: <GIVING HER AN ANNOYED SIDE-GLANCE> Even if it were, that’s not your decision to make. I’ll do what I want.

Mojisha: That’s not how the world works. <MUTTERING TO KAIRYUPIN> This one’s got a mouth on him. <SHE PLACES THE POT OVER LEDAS HEAD AND PRESSES SEVERAL BUTTONS ON THE SCREEN; TEN SECONDS LATER, IT BEEPS LIKE A TOASTER OVEN, THEN RELEASES A CLOUD OF STEAM FROM UNDERNEATH THE POT; THE SCREEN FLASHES ‘NO DYE’ IN RED LETTERING BEFORE A GREEN BACKGROUND; THE NURSE IS TAKEN ABACK AND STARES AT THE RESULT> Well, would you look at that. What do you make of it?

Ms. Kairyupin: <LOOKING AT THE RESULTS, BITING HER LIP> It’s been years since we’ve had to use this thing. Maybe it’s not warmed up yet. Try it again.

Mojisha: Well, it appears you weren’t lying. No hair dye. I can’t believe it.

Ledas: You wouldn’t listen. I told you.

Ms. Kairyupin: Well… <SHE TAKES SOME TIME TO COMPOSE HERSELF, THOUGH HER EARS HAVE GONE RED> looks like we found that one-in-a-million case. How about that? My apologies, Ledas. You can understand that we have to follow school protocol, yes? I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Let’s return to class.

Ledas: And what if I had dyed my hair? It’s not your place to tell me what to do. Schools are supposedly a public institution. You should be focused on educating, not telling people how to look. You’ve got your priorities screwed up big time.

Ms. Kairyupin: Enough, Ledas. Once again, I apologize for embarrassing you, but that doesn’t mean what we did was wrong.

Ledas: Yes it does.

Ms. Kairyupin: Watch your mouth or you’ll end up in detention. Don’t think you know better than adults. Respect the rules or face the consequences. Don’t test me.

<11:07 A.M.>

Mailwoman: <ON THE PHONE> Hol’ up, Bon’Quisha, I done told y’all, ya’ll best get dat chil’ outta mah house. His baby daddy don’t want him no mo’. That’s it—gone, goodbye sucka. See ya. Mmhmm. You heard me. You heard me. You heard me. Shut up and listen. I ain’t playin’. Nah man, I ain’t playin’. Nah, man, nah. I ain’t playin’. Get dat lil frog-faced ni—

<11:32 A.M.>

Ledas: Well, she took me to the nurse’s station and brought out this device that could tell if my hair was real or dyed.

Tabashi: That’s official policy. Has been forever. Big mistake, dude.

Ledas: My hair’s not dyed.

Hachi: Yes it is.

Chiwan: Yo we’re not buying it. You may have tricked the teachers, but we’re not that dumb.

Ledas: I’m not lying. My hair gets lighter in the sun. Where I’m from it’s not nearly this sunny. It’s to be expected.

Hachi: But your eyes are different from yesterday.

Ledas: No they aren’t. They’ve always been green, promise.

Chiwan: Your eyes were lighter yesterday, like ice blue or something. I remember. You can’t pull that crap on me.

Chiaki: <LEANING BACK WITH SMUG, CALM ENERGY> And that’s not all—he has a tail too.

Ryori: <VERY QUICKLY> What?! No, he doesn’t.

Ippi: <BEFORE RETURNING TO HER PHONE> Neat. I’d like to have one of those.

Hachi: Look, it’s the same color as his hair.

Ledas: <LOOKING UP, REALIZING WHAT IS HAPPENING> I’ve been telling you!

Chiwan: Oh, I get it. You’re an animorphaline^[6] user.

Ledas: <GIVES A CONFUSED LOOK, THEN REALIZES HE SHOULD JUST GO WITH IT AT RYORI’S SILENT URGING> Uh huh.

Chiaki: I saw him take it out on the train platform. But, it was darker yesterday like his hair.

Ryori: <MOST DISPLEASED; SOFTLY PUNCHING LEDAS IN THE UPPER ARM> You should’ve waited until we got home, dude.

Azashi: Aha, he knew about it too. It’s real then.

Ryori: Look, it’s not a big deal. We didn’t want to bring attention to it.

Chiwan: <LEANING IN TO LEDAS> So what are you? That looks like a monkey tail.

Ledas: <SHIVERING> I’m no monkey, I’m a dirty stinkin’ ape, like my father before me. <RISING TO HIS FEET, A FIST IN THE AIR BEFORE TAKING HIS SEAT AGAIN>. It’s a common misconception.

Tabashi: The hell? Apes don’t have tails.

Ippi: And they totally aren’t blond either.

Ryori: Guys, come on. You’re doing exactly what we were trying to prevent. Ledas is real sensitive about his tail, aren’t you?

Ledas: Not anymore. My grandfather fixed that problem after intense training.

Chiaki: Haha, my mom would never. And for that matter, neither would my therapist.

Azashi: Whatever. It’s no big deal if you’ve used animorphaline. Nobody cares.

Chiwan: It’s a little weird. You haven’t gone full ape. What’s up with that?

Ledas: That won’t happen. Not unless there’s a full moon.

Hachi: Dude, you’re hella strange.

Tabashi: Did you see that gnarly white hair poking out of Mr. Takkuro’s nose?

Ryori: I don’t know how he can breathe. The old dude’s a goblin.

Azashi: Thanks, but this isn’t anything special. You guys can come over after school on Friday if you want, and I’ll make you the best dinner you’ve ever had. You’ll just need to bring a couple of ingredients if that’s all right.

Ippi: <PLAYING ON HER PHONE IN ONE HAND, WHILE FINISHING A GNAWED-UP APPLE IN THE OTHER> Sure, I’ll come.

Chiwan: Oh yeah, I’m totally down.

Ledas: Ooh, I wanna go too.

Ryori: If he’s going, you better have a lot prepared.

Azashi: Really? Ledas is the smallest guy here.

Ryori: He’s got an endless pit for a stomach. You’ll see.

Azashi: Alright, challenge accepted. I’ll fill ya up good. That’s my sacred duty as a cook.

Ledas: Great, ‘cuz I’m starving.

Ryori: He’s talking about Friday, you idiot. And you just ate your lunch.

Ledas: Well, it can’t be helped. I have a bottomless pit.

Ryori: Too bad. You’re going to have to wait until after class.

Ledas: Ah, I can’t stand Ms. Kairyupin’s lectures. They’re mind-numbingly boring. Plus, she had a problem with my hair. Even if it had been dyed, she was hecka rude to think it was her choice how I should look.

Chiwan: I know, she’s the worst, isn’t she? Just reads straight from the textbook and gives out the most homework of any teacher. I’m really not looking forward to the ecology test on Friday.

Chiaki: I’m not too worried about it. Most of it’s going to be multiple choice, and if there’s one thing my parents have taught me, it’s how to be a good guesser.

Ryori: I’m not looking forward to staying up all night Thursday studying.

Tabashi: Ugh, me either.

Chiwan: <CRANES HER NECK, LOOKING AROUND THE LUNCH AREA FOR ANY SIGNS OF ADULTS; NONE ARE AROUND; SHE LEANS CLOSER TO THE OTHERS, WHO DO LIKEWISE, AND LOWERS HER VOICE> Then what do you say we steal the answer key beforehand? We’d have to break into her office.

Hachi: Shut up. That’s crazy talk.

Tabashi: You can’t be serious.

Chiwan: <GIVING HACHI A LOOK> What are you, a pussy?

Ryori: It could also be in her house.

Chiwan: Might be. We could hit that too if it’s not here.

Ryori: I know how to get in. My brother and I have done it before.

Azashi: <SHOCKED> Tell me you’re joking. You’re not really going to break into a teacher’s house to steal test answers, are you? Sounds like pure lunacy.

Ryori: Why not? After what she put Ledas through, I think she deserves to get got.

Chiwan: That’s one way of looking at it.

Chiaki: <EATING CHIPS> I’ll help too. Sounds like a good time.

Azashi: No way, you guys are crazy. That’s a hella stupid idea.

Ryori: Screw it, let’s do this. I can get you into her apartment if needed, guaranteed. My brother taught me a foolproof way. Let’s work one over on the bitch.

Chiwan: <WITH A GRIN> So you have something more in mind for her?

Ryori: Maybe just a swap of the ol’ shampoo bottle. Nothing fancy.

Chiwan: Don’t lose focus, Ryo. We have to secure the test first.

Ryori: No sweat. As I said, I can get you into her apartment easy.

Hachi: I don’t know. Are you sure this is a good idea?

Chiwan: Shut up. Don’t be a pussy. If you’re too scared to help, you don’t have to be involved.

Hachi: I didn’t say that!

Chiaki: We’ll need someone to check her office for the answer key first. It may not be in her house. Speaking of which, anyone know where she lives?

Chiwan: One second. Okay, found her. She’s at 2429 East Meringue Street, Apartment 4F. There, happy?

Azashi: <SHAKING HIS HEAD> I can’t believe you guys are doing this. What the hell’s going on? No wonder you’re in this class.

Chiaki: Oh, that hurts deep, man. We’re going to scam the hell out of Ms. Kairyupin and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Chiwan: Don’t say anything, any of you.

Azashi: <THROWING HIS HANDS INTO THE AIR> Hey, I’m no rat. All I'm saying is it’s a bad idea.

Tabashi: Me neither. I can’t afford to get expelled. My uncle threatened to send me to military school if I screw up one more time. I can’t go to military school.

Ryori: You ready to do this tonight? We could go right after school.

Chiwan: Nuh uh, I’ve got violin practice at four, and Hachi’s got choir. We can help tomorrow after school.

Chiaki: Choir? <TO HACHI> You’re a fuckin’ choirboy? <HE FINDS THIS MOST AMUSING>

Ryori: Then let’s meet at my house, alright? I’ll text everyone the address.

Chiaki: <CASUALLY> Cool, cool. Hey, there better be refreshments when I show up. Hot apps or you have no class. I want mozzarella sticks and buffalo wings, not to mention a killer spicy dip.

Ryori: Very funny, Chiaki.

Ledas: That better not be a joke. I want that too.

Ryori: Tell Jia to cook it because I’m not.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name is a reference to Chi-Chi's dialogue in this scene of episode 169.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 3: Sweet Little Ledas Has Become a Punker
  1. scene 1: Vegeta and Ledas spar; afterwards, they talk with Bulma and eat a midnight snack together; Ledas begins using FPSS2 as much as he can to become more accustomed to the form's energy consumption; Ledas asks Bulma to replicate and replace his Saibaman juice, which she agrees to do if he helps her with something later
  2. scene 2: back in the house, Ryori finds Ledas sleepwalking in the kitchen, in FPSS2; after he wakes up the boy (Jia should be around too), Ledas discusses how he will be in SS2 during the remainder of the school classes, which annoys Ryori, since the boy had already gone the first day in his regular hair and everyone is going to notice, but Ledas doesn't budge on that; Ryori mentions that since they are in the city and not old-fashioned Seikishi, he probably won't be forced to dye his hair black
  3. scene 3: short scene in school with the teacher taking roll call noting Ledas' hair; a few of the students have reactions, too; blond hair is culturally taboo for Japanese and it makes one stick out from the crowd, so there should be some of that energy here, but not all of the city kids are of Japanese origin, either
  4. scene 4: as the mailman is delivering stuff to Ledas/Ryori's house, a Saibaman pops out of the bushes in the front yard, spooking him
  5. scene 5: at lunch, they continue to comment on Ledas' new hair, wondering if he dyed it; they touch his hair and make some comments on his new green eyes, too; Chiaki reveals that he saw Ledas' tail the day prior, causing the boy to pretend that his parents were Animorphaline users; the eight of them bond more; Chiwan initiates her plan for them to steal the answers to the ecology test on Friday
2. This outline is accurate to what ended up happening. The only major difference is the first scene was split in half, the first being Ledas and Vegeta's sparring, the second being their conversation with Bulma afterward. The Saibamen scene originally was scheduled to be scene 3, but as I wanted it to occur later in the day, I switched it to after the scene about Ledas' hair with the nurse after writing it and updated the outline to reflect that.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 3 are as follows:
1. 1/25/23: the name of the mailwoman's friend, Bon'Quisha, was taken from a top 10 most ghetto names list
2. 1/30/23: scene 6 of ch3, the scene where Jia takes some of Ledas' SS2 hair, was moved to ch4 on this date (kv note 7/12/23: this scene was actually moved all the way to chapter 7)
3. have vegeta not like spicy ramen, whereas ledas does and bulma makes a comment on this not being a saiyan quirk like she thought before; vegeta prefers miso and butter flavor, a reference to dbs e47
4. 1/30/23: azashi's lobster agnolotti from the final scene of ch3 is taken word-for-word from culinary instructor Benjamin's signature dish from Hell's Kitchen
5. 12/21/22: have ledas begin going to school in SS2, trying to hold the form all day
6. 12/21/22: have Ledas complain about having to hide his tail and then make the decision against Ryori's will to show off his tail, noting to his friend that his tail cannot be encumbered without feeling suffocated (a tail-less person could never understand); Ledas also notes that there are human animal hybrids (Animorphaline users), so he can explain himself away as being the off-spring of one and a regular human, which Ryori begrudgingly accepts ---> 3/13/23 note: this was not used when I actually wrote out the scene of Ledas' tail being revealed by Chiaki
My notes for the second draft of chapter 3 are as follows:
1. 1/3/24: a little more after Ledas awkens from his sleepwalking
2. 1/3/24: after Ledas burns the bacon, have Ryori call him bro, not by his name
3. 1/3/24: Ledas should rant about "stupid culture" with more precision as it relates to the hair color debate
4. 1/3/24: Ippi should be lost in her own world in terms of playing on her phone, not notebook doodling
5. 1/3/24: have Kairyupin respond to Ledas saying it's not up to her what color his hair is (before Mojisha responds)
6. 1/3/24: the ending of the hair color scene could be polished up significantly, add some dialogue for Ledas and Kairyupin
7. 1/3/24: the way in which they decide to steal the test from Kairyupin deserves more dialogue
8. 3/27/24: while Ledas and Vegeta are sparring, have Vegeta do a hammerblow and a headbutt
I wrote the first draft from January 15, 2023 - January 31^st. While going through the scenes, I edited scenes 3, 5, and 6 extensively. Not sure why I didn't touch the first two or the scene with Mojisha. I also did some minor editing on February 3^rd, April 8^th and April 23^th. My second to final draft phase went from April 10, 2024 - April 13^th and was posted to the wiki shortly afterward. I don't recall the editing being too difficult for this one. Maybe a little bit in the last scene because there's so much going on. I did a lot of drafting on the third scene but it wasn't difficult. Just got lots of new ideas with the various drafts and incorporated them in fairly smoothly.
While West City Saga is mostly slice-of-life, I wanted to liven it up in the Dragon Ball spirit by having a few sparring sessions. These sessions needed a point beyond spectacle so I came up with the Full Power Super Saiyan 2 concept. One of the better parts of the Cell Arc is the idea of Full Power Super Saiyan, of mastering energy expenditure to reach the form's limits. I wanted to do this with Super Saiyan 2 since the energy usage is much more severe. Ledas is going to be using a lot of Super Saiyan 2 in various stories of mine (such as Cold Vengeance and others yet unwritten, including Heart of the Dragon), so it felt like a natural evolution of his training and works perfectly as a goal for his sparring sessions with Vegeta. Full Power Super Saiyan 2 also sounds conceptually cool to me. People have various theories on if this is possible or not, but it's never stated in the series if FPSS2 is a theoretically possible form. For me, it makes more sense that it is than it isn't, as FPSS was simply mastering that form. Super Saiyan 2 has to be able to be mastered, right? It appears that by the time of Dragon Ball Super if not the Buu Arc, Goku and Vegeta have achieved this form. Super Saiyan 2 never seems to take that much out of them after Cell, so it's what I choose to believe. Getting Ledas on this path is the best way for him to narrow the gap between Vegeta and himself.
The choreography of Ledas and Vegeta was very specific. I used a lot of Vegeta's moves from the series (for example, he loves hammerblows). Same thing with Ledas. Ledas loves flying kicks, especially ones where he jumps into the air and comes down hard on his opponent's head with a left or right toe poke. I love fights with lots of afterimages and high-speed movement, so yeah, there were tons of those. Probably more than in a typical DBZ or DBS fight, even though it's a very short snippet of their sparring.
Ledas' SS2 form fades so quickly because he hasn't even had it for a month. He's raw still. Now, he could've been training with Vegeta for many hours, but certainly not that intensely the whole time (probably not at 650G). Vegeta's mentorship of Ledas has turned their relationship in a surprising direction. This is the end result of their reunion in The Forgotten. They're valuable to one another as sparring partners. I've no doubt Vegeta's power level goes up at least 10x faster training with Ledas than alone, so you're welcome Geets.
I won't say Ledas is a better friend to Vegeta than Goku, but they are far more comfortable around each other. The dialogue at the end of the first scene is very reminiscent of how they spoke to one another in the second half of the Prince Vegeta Saga. Ledas doesn't usually boast when Vegeta's not around. One could infer he's doing so as a form of self-disparagement.
Not sure which ramen flavor Bulma would like best. Honestly, any of them would make sense for her. I went with shrimp because she went heavy on the seafood in the God of Destruction Beerus Saga. Ledas' favorite flavor is no surprise. I like really spicy stuff (you could say I'm a spice boy), and since Ledas is my main OC and embodies many of my personality traits, this was what I'd naturally give him. The spice stuff comes up in a later chapter as well, and while this could technically be seen as foreshadowing that, I don't think I had the spice-off challenge in mind when I wrote this scene, so I won't claim to be so clever. Vegeta's flavor of miso and butter is the same flavor he brings to Lord Beerus and Whis in episode 47 of DBS. An easy choice.
Nappa uses some weird juice to sprout the Saibamen in the Vegeta Saga. I don't remember specifically if I showed Ledas using the juice to spring his Saibamen into action during the Stomping Grounds Saga, but I figured it'd be best if he had a full jar either way. It's unclear if this juice is needed to keep them from wilting or if it's not needed at all if they never go back into their seed forms. Ledas' Saibamen stay out all the time, and even when traveling off-planet, will just chill in Ledas' space ship, so I don't know entirely if this was a necessary refill. Best to err on the side of caution.
A spice-off between Vegeta and Ledas would be as one-sided as their SS2 sparring sessions, although not a super terrible idea for a scene in a short story, I have to say. The way the two talk in that moment is very competitive, almost reminding me of when Goku and Vegeta get into it sometimes in DBS. Good stuff.
While Ledas got his taste for spice from Planet Cooler 92, he has a natural inclination toward that kind of food in general, although he would've started at a much lower tolerance on Earth.
This may be the first time I've written a scene with Vegeta and Bulma conversing as a happy couple. I don't recall another, at least. They didn't banter in Cold Vengeance and weren't officially a couple during He's a Baaad Man. Anyways, it was entertaining as all hell to write their interactions in the second scene—Vegeta's boasting and Bulma's story about the wasabi ball. The tone I'm going for has developed quickly by this chapter. Feels like we're in the groove now.
Ledas is a sleepwalker, albeit infrequently. I used to sleepwalk so much so that my parents wouldn't let me sleepover a friend's houseboat fearing I'd sleepwalk into the water. I haven't done it in a while though (as far as I know). Sleeping in Super Saiyan 2 exacerbates this. It's my theory that once Ledas masters SS2, or at least gets close to it, his sleepwalking lessens significantly, but you never know. Just speculatin' here.
While Ryori has seen Ledas in Super Saiyan a few times before, he's never really seen him up close enough to notice his eye color change. I considered having them discuss it, but figured it wasn't worth it.
It's no surprise Ledas was dreaming about his time on Planet Cooler 92. He spent most of his formative years there. Kind of sweet how he still considered Banas his cap'n in the dream.
I never had an opportunity to bring up Ledas sleepwalking on Planet Cooler 92 or back on his homeworld and getting into trouble, perhaps not waking up during the whole ordeal. Maybe that'd be a neat idea for a scene in a one-shot? Certainly, there'd have to be more going on. Something to consider.
The first day of school is the only day Jia goes with them. Every other time, Ryori flies on Ledas' back (where he is most comfortable) as they race through the city. This is because the boys don't know where the school is located. I'm pretty sure Jia has a hovercar but we never see her drive. Maybe someday, Kami willing.
The food the boys choose for breakfast contrasts how high-maintenance Ledas is with how low-maintenance Ryori is when it comes to getting fed. The opposite is generally the case in most other aspects of their lives.
Bacon is superior when it's crispy, but not too crispy. I don't eat the fat on bacon anyways, so I want the good part to be as good as possible. It's quite difficult to make bacon just how I like it. Depending on the heat in the pan (or oven), the difference between undercooking and overcooking can be like 10 seconds, and that can be especially hard to manage when there's like 12 slices in there together.
Ledas burning the bacon indicates that he's not entirely in control of his Super Saiyan 2 powers and that may or may not lead to a disaster sometime down the road. Could be a misdirect. We'll see if that comes to pass.
An important feature of Ledas' friendship with Ryori is that while he often defers to Ryori, when it comes to things he knows about (food and martial arts), he exerts his opinion much more. He's highly individualistic, so he will not tolerate others forcing him to do things he doesn't want to. He's not happy about hiding his tail, for he had never been one of those dirty tail-wrappers in his youth, but he compromises for the sake of Ryori. Not so in regards to going to school in Super Saiyan 2. That's not to say he's flippant about it. The bacon incident reminds him he needs to maintain the utmost focus and dedication to his "training" so something doesn't go wrong.
"Dyeing one’s hair blond is an act of rebellion against one’s household, or at least it’s seen that way by traditional people." - herein lies the main problem I have with the hair dye ban issue that comes up in this chapter. This isn't about signing school handbooks, agreeing not to do certain things, etc., it's about the narcissism behind what Jia said (not her, the people who believe this). It's peak narcissistic behavior to believe someone dyeing their hair will always represent cultural messaging. Moreover, to those who are offended by others' dyeing their hair—it's not about you. Being offended is on you. Oh no, someone's colored their hair a color I deem unacceptable. The horror! A student's hair color in no way changes their ability to learn or interact in class. I actually don't have much of a problem with school bans on profanity or political symbols on clothing (although I abhor school uniforms and think they're immoral). One's hair is more personal and doesn't contain language or symbols to illicit specific responses. Those who read into blonde hair as being a sign of delinquency—that's on them. It's a completely outrageous, disgusting attempt at policing others' bodies.
Ledas' hair not being dyed is a critical point and the only reason I touched upon this cultural issue, as it allows the scenario to play out without consequences.
Ledas has dyed his hair pink in Sandboys and in the final scene of chapter 12.5 of this saga (the deleted chapter). I still need to have him dye it teal in a story or upcoming HOTD saga. Dunno when that'll be. I'd prefer it to be before he gets Super Saiyan Blue, though, to prevent confusion about if he's transformed or not.
I won't entirely dismiss Jia's worries about Ledas' hair color being a reflection upon herself. At the same time, his hair isn't dyed, so he's not actually "rebelling". There's a racial component at play too, since naturally blond people usually are not Asian or African, and so if those colors are seen as bad, it implies that most of the school's population does not include European-descendant people to the point that any blonde-haired person is thought to have dyed it. Dats racist mayne.
Ledas' speech at the end of the third scene pretty much sums up my thoughts on the hair dyeing controversy, and this goes beyond colors like blonde, brown, or black. Any hair color is nobody's business, no matter if it's god-awful neon green or dark purple. Just because someone is offended doesn't mean others have to change for them. Being offended is the offended person's issue to deal with. Society has begun catering to these types in recent years in the United States to the detriment of our culture. That's not to say being offended is never correct. This is pointing out a ridiculous issue that doesn't harm anyone. Harm is the key word here. Being offended is not harm because being offended may not come from an honest place. Every case must be judged of its own merit.
Ippi is rather bold to be on her phone in class. I don't think Kairyupin noticed, or she was at the very least distracted by Ledas' hair.
The other students murmuring to one another about Ledas reinforces the overbearing presence of the toxic cultural trait of thinking being offended by another person's hair requires correction. It's sad that even these misfits and delinquents have bought into that horrid notion.
The school having a hair-dyeing detector adds to the absurdity of their puritanical ways. Quite frankly, it makes them look like a bunch of assholes.
I considered having Mojisha in additional scenes, which is why I named her, but ultimately found no need for her in the rest of the saga.
"No, that’d be silly. You were born like fifty years ago, or something like that." - this is up there as one of the funniest things Ledas has ever said, unintentionally humorous though it was.
I love Kairyupin's armchair psychoanalysis of Ledas. This style of conceited faux-therapy can oftentimes be unhelpful if not dangerous. She's far too casual about what she says, too. Markedly unprofessional.
"You should never ever deface your beautiful black hair, a symbol of our nation, for any reason." - most racist line ever in HOTD, guaranteed haha.
"You mustn’t deface yourself to flaunt your pain. You must get with the times. A disobedient nature won’t get you far." - not only is this a misreading, but it's a horrible, collectivist thought. Ledas is a boy with free will. He can make his own choices, be they for better or worse. The fact that she says unless he falls in line and acts like everyone else, he'll fail in life, and thinks that's good advice beyond the pale. It's abhorrent and morally bankrupt. I'm not saying it wouldn't work for many people to adopt this tactic in life (as many do), it's more about how she's trying to force him to suppress who he is, to mold him into who she wants, instead of encouraging him to be his own Saiyan.
"And what if I had dyed my hair? It’s not your place to tell me what to do. Schools are supposedly a public institution. You should be focused on educating, not telling people how to look. You’ve got your priorities screwed up big time." - I have nothing to add except to say this is exactly what I think. Ledas and I for some queer reason are on the same page here.
The end of the fourth scene, with Ledas' aura faintly forming, shows that not only has he not learned his lesson, but he has doubled down on his beliefs. He was not swayed by Kairyupin, nor did he accept her apology, and he thinks little of her as a human being for what she did to him. This is almost going down a Mr. Kyokatoshi path, but we'll see if that resolves in the same way or not in later chapters.
The mailwoman's conversation came about because one day, a mailwoman deposited mail in my mailbox while loudly yapping on her phone, having a heated argument with someone about something (not the same subject matter as in WCS). I found that rather funny and unprofessional so added it in.
The mailwoman's conversation is appalling. Abandoning a baby is easy for those who lack basic humanity. Again, I tried to utilize humor here to portray a pretty dramatic event to preserve the correct tonality for the chapter.
Wilde's trolling indicates Ledas' personality has rubbed off on him. He wouldn't be one of the good ones if he didn't have a little of the prankster's spirit in him.
The fifth scene never fails to make me laugh when I reread it. It's one of the best scenes in the West City Saga.
The sixth scene marks the final scene before Ledas and Ryori have any sexual contact (although deleted scene #1 is not a sex scene, involving only minimal contact before the boys break away, but more on that in the next chapter's endnotes).
Like in chapter 2, Chiwan, Hachi, and Chiaki eat sandwiches, showing that their daily lunch is fairly consistent. Ledas and Ryori enjoy another fancy dish Jia cooked for them, showing off one of her most valuable traits (at least from Ledas' perspective). Tabashi once again eats something fairly cheap, indicating he's poorer than most of the other students. Ippi's food isn't mentioned because she consistently has an apple and salad every day. Azashi's lobster agnolotti once more shows that he's a fancypants, likely having cooked it himself. This is the second day in a row he's brought a high-end dish to class. He's not flaunting his skills because he shares with the others. I don't think he's fishing for compliments, just loves to cook and share his joy with his new friends. Azashi is perhaps characterized more than anyone else in terms of his actions instead of dialogue.
The sixth scene is a sort of structural bookend to the first scene of chapter 2. In both, the kids have a long discussion at lunch, going over various topics to develop their personalities and friendships. Because this is chapter 3, I had a better idea of who the characters were and thus tried to hone that development. Azashi, Tabashi, and Ippi received more screentime here than in chapter 2 because I felt they were underdeveloped, even if they aren't as major as the other five to the narrative. The scene took a lot of work because not only was tons of stuff going on, but I had to make sure everyone got in some lines of dialogue to give them more defined characteristics and tendencies. This scene took a lot longer to write than the rest of the chapter. I remember having written the rest of it and stopping before tackling this one, spending several days first-drafting it after the rest had been banged out fairly quickly. Not the hardest scene overall, but a tricky one nonetheless. Once I finished it, I had a much better understanding of the students and how they'd act in future situations, so this is no doubt a pivotal moment in the narrative.
Ledas isn't particularly good at lying, as seen in his defense of his hair color and eyes. The hair color is somewhat defensible, especially after the hair-dye detector didn't catch him, but his eyes were unambiguously a different color previously. The other kids let it go, but it's not like they believe him. They didn't give him any leeway. Chiwan's take-charge, no-nonsense attitude is on full display in that part. The eye thing is never resolved because there's no way Ledas is telling the truth. Not much more he could say. It proves he's hiding something.
Originally, Ledas was going to show them his tail because he didn't want to wrap it around his waist underneath his clothes anymore (finding it uncomfortable). When I wrote out the train station scene in chapter 2, Ledas' tail popping out was an unexpected twist that I had not foreseen, forcing the narrative to go in a different direction. Chiaki is a little out of line pulling Ledas' tail out of his pants, must be said.
Animorphaline is only mentioned by name in Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot, but it makes a lot of sense, so I'm using it here. I don't tend to think of video games as canon, although if they introduce pieces of lore that make sense (and this does, considering there are tons of animal-type Earthlings in Dragon Ball, and it explains why we see fewer of them in Dragon Ball Z), I will bring them into my universe. This is a good excuse for the kids to stop pestering Ledas about his peculiarities, at least for now.
Ledas' tail being the same color as his hair brings an end to the students' speculation that he's dyed his hair. That's not to say he couldn't have dyed his tail, but adding that evidence to the hair-dye machine not going off feels like a definitive end to that mystery.
Ledas' banter about the tail discussion shows that he doesn't care if the students figure out his identity. Ryori must find that annoying. He's correct that until they get to know the other kids, they shouldn't be divulging critical info about Ledas to them.
Monkey being a pejorative used against Saiyans by Planet Trade Organization soldiers (especially Frieza) is what likely caused Ledas to say that line about being a dirty stinkin' ape. This is a somewhat rare moment of him intentionally joking around, showing he's growing more comfortable with the others.
The sensitivity line is another instance of Ledas misunderstanding what they're talking about. There's subtext at play about Ledas contrasting with people who are sensitive snowflakes (a cancerous personality type).
The quickness in which the kids move on from Ledas' strange appearance shows how readily they accept him for who he is. This goes a long way into the group becoming good friends. It's a subtle, understated moment that has profound effects on their group dynamics going forward.
I didn't know what would happen at Azashi's dinner party when I wrote the sixth scene. This is often how I write first drafts, leaving myself options in the future with moments that can end up expanding in very unpredictable ways. Azashi's role as a cook develops his personality quickly in a multitude of ways. He's braggadocious, friendly, generous, outgoing, and a people-pleaser. Didn't want to dwell on him too much, since he's a minor character in this chapter. His role mainly serves as setup for future shit going down. At this point I knew he'd become a more important character later (didn't know exactly how), but now was not the time to oversaturate and force his presence beyond what felt natural.
"I’m not looking forward to staying up all night Thursday studying." - this was me in a nutshell during my academic career. Not ideal, to be sure.
It was important for Chiwan to come up with the ecology test scam to show she's bold and has an alpha-type personality. She's the leader of the group. This is her first big moment. Beyond that, the morality of the decision is something a lot of people would look down on her for. She's certainly in the wrong for doing this, but it's entertaining and funny, and that takes precedence for me. This is a small thing, not some grand stain upon her heart, in my opinion. Kids will be kids.
The dynamics between Chiwan and Hachi get going in the sixth scene. Hachi is the meeker of the two, though he doesn't like to be left out of Chiwan's shenanigans. He ends up proving his courage by going along with the plan despite his reservations because he wants to maintain a good relationship with his sister. Some may call this weak, but I think it'd be weaker to just call her names and complain. He shows that he loves his sister by joining in against his better judgment. Stealing the test isn't a smart thing. Emotions run high in teenagers. The authenticity of their sibling dynamics was something I worked on delicately, balancing their care for one another with insults and barbs. While they call each other names a lot, it's rarely if ever done out of rage or hate. Just some friendly banter. Thankfully, I have multiple siblings who helped influence and inspire their relationship, making them two of the easier characters to write for.
Ryori escalates the prank by like a hundred times offering to break into Kairyupin's house. The kids are young and dumb and don't realize the trouble they could get into (or at least don't think it's as serious as it truly is). Ryori loves scamming, as seen during the panty raid of the Planet Earth Saga. I wanted to bring that stuff into this saga. Ryori gets so involved because he sees an opportunity to not only prove his worth but chase the thrills he had at Seikishi Middle School, knowing that if things went well, they'd all become good friends. He comes from a somewhat desperate position when offering to break into their teacher's house.
Azashi's a wet blanket, but he isn't wrong. It's absolutely bonkers to break into a teacher's house just to steal a test. They could end up in juvenile hall and ruin their lives over something stupid. I cannot overstate how ridiculous Chiwan and Ryori act in this scene, as humorous as it may be. Regardless, the plot must be fun and I must be entertained, so I had to do it.
"Why not? After what she put Ledas through, I think she deserves to get got." - if this saga were a video game, Ledas' respect for Ryori would have gone up by +3 right there.
Ryori and Shoekki breaking into apartments in their youths was not something I had planned. Came out naturally during the writing. I may or may not expand upon their past where they lived in poverty with their mother in Seikishi. At least I know about it now. Before writing this scene, I didn't really even think much about the kids' situation in specific detail, like what kind of shit they got up to on the daily. The implication here is that they weren't bad people but just trying to survive rough circumstance, hardening them through experience as they grew.
It's somewhat dystopian that Chiwan could find Kairyupin's address so quickly. That can oftentimes happen in real life too. Never been a fan of that info being readily available on the internet.
Tabashi's military school comment may seem like a throwaway, but it comes back later in multiple ways. I didn't know what at the time. Just had to make Tabashi into a more defined person, and from that starting point, the ideas came naturally (at a much later date).
Hachi's a fuckin' choir boy compared to Chiwan, a choir boy. In all seriousness, it felt like the perfect hobby for someone with his personality. Chiaki finding this amusing is because he's thinking of this famous line by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movie End of Days.
Chiaki was kidding about the refreshments. He didn't realize Ledas' eternal appetite would make it so.
Some minor social commentary there at the end with the Mr. Satan movie. Shark fin soup is a disgusting practice. I have nothing but contempt for people who eat it. Sharks are critically endangered. Fuck you if you engage in that bullshit. The mecha part was a joke about how so many Japanese kaiju movies go that route with enemies.
The third chapter is more comedic than the previous two. I can tell I was getting into the groove. The characters are starting to become more defined, the social commentary and comedy is intermixing in a uniquely entertaining way (at least for me, whom I wrote this story for first and foremost). Contrasting Ledas' relationship with Vegeta and Bulma against his relationships with the students (particularly Ryori) offers a complex view of the subtle ways he changes his personality around different friends. Had a lot of fun with this. Easily one of my favorite West City Saga chapters. Let's check out the next one. These are going by quick, but make no mistake, it took a lot of effort to get the chapters to look like this.

4. The Seagull's Call

<8:16 A.M.>

<RYORI’S EYES ARE ON LEDAS; HE STRUGGLES TO HOLD IN HIS LAUGHTER; THE SAIYAN, ON THE OTHER HAND, BOWS HIS HEAD, SCRIBBLING FRANTICALLY, TRYING TO PRETEND NOTHING HAD HAPPENED; KAIRYUPIN BLINKS RAPIDLY, PAUSING AWKWARDLY, LOOKING UP AT THE CEILING AIR CONDITIONING VENT BEFORE COMPOSING HERSELF AND CONTINUING THE LECTURE; NO ONE SUSPECTS LEDAS, LEAVING HIM IN THE CLEAR, THOUGH THEY ARE ALSO DISTRACTED AND MUTTER TO ONE ANOTHER BEFORE KAIRYUPIN SHUSHES THEM; RYORI SMIRKS, RESUMING HIS NOTE-TAKING>

<1:34 P.M.>

<CHIWAN; IPPI, AZASHI, TABASHI, RYORI, HACHI, CHIAKI, AND LEDAS LEAVE THE SCHOOL; LEDAS LAGS BEHIND, GASPING FOR AIR; RYORI AND CHIAKI WAIT FOR HIM, WHILE THE REST LEAVE TO CATCH THEIR CARS/TRAINS; THE SAIYAN LEANS FORWARD, HANDS ON HIS KNEES, TAKING A BREATHER AND WIPING HIS FOREHEAD; AS RYORI APPROACHES HIM, HE TRIES AND FAILS TO SLOW HIS BREATHING>

Ledas: <TRYING TO HIDE HIS PANTING WITH A GLEEFUL SHOUT; NOT LOOKING AT HIS FRIEND> Ryori, hey! What’s up?

Ryori: H-how’d you know I was here?

Ledas: I could smell you. <HE LOOKS UP AT RYORI WITH A GRIN; THE OTHER BOY GIVES HIM A LOOK> Heh, I didn’t mean like that. All humans have distinct scents. You smell good.

Ryori: That’s, uh, interesting, but seriously, are you okay? You look like you’re gonna pass out.

Ledas: Super Saiyan 2’s power consumption is just too much, dude. I’m exhausted. Honestly, I’m ready for dinner and an hour of Springer in bed. Don’t think I’ll spar with Vegeta tonight.

Ryori: We’re not sleeping anytime soon. You wanted to get Ms. Kairyupin, remember? We have to plan for it today.

Ledas: <SAVORING HIS LAST FEW MOMENTS OF REST> Right. Yeah, you’re right. I’ve gotta get through this. Vegeta warned me the training wouldn’t be easy. I won’t fail. I won’t succumb. <RISING BACK TO A PROPER POSTURE> Alright, let’s go.

Chiaki: You good?

Ledas: Mhm.

Ryori: Let’s go home. Where’re Chiwan and Hachi?

Chiaki: They can’t be seen riding the train. Their mother won’t allow it. Doesn’t think it’s safe. I don’t know. She picked them up in a hovercar.

Ryori: Lame. Their mother sounds unbearable.

Chiaki: Whatever. Dr. Fusen says don’t waste energy on that which you cannot control. He’s right—I don’t give a shit.

Ryori: I’m real proud of you. You’re making so much progress. You’ll be healed any day now.

Ledas: <VOICE DRIPPING WITH DISGUST> Look at how they attack him. It’s nonsensical. They’re not even trying. It’s rigged, I tell ya.

Chiaki: Nah, he threw them too easily. He’s beating the hell out of ‘em.

Ledas: They’re leaving their arms out for him to grab. Look.

Chiaki: <EYES NARROWING> Um, you could have a point. I dunno.

Ryori: They’re probably street scammers. Don’t trust your eyes.

Ledas: <GROWING MORE AGITATED> The other ones are in on it. They’re letting him grab them. And the way they’re rolling away—it’s beyond stupid! What a bunch of fakers.

Onlooker #1: Shut up, kid. So what if it’s fake? It’s still impressive as hell. These lads are proper athletes. Entertaining as hell. Honest-to-Kami heroes if you ask me.

Onlooker #2: Stupid kid doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Don’t listen to him.

Ryori: <INCENSED; DEFENDING LEDAS’ HONOR> Chill, asshole. These guys aren’t all that great. Mr. Satan would crush ‘em in a real fight.

Onlooker #1: Not a chance. Aikido is the purest form of martial arts. Master Kamome would dominate in the ring. He’s an unbeatable physical specimen at the absolute peak of his powers. Nobody in the world stands a chance against him.

Ledas: I’ll show you peak athleticism. <HE LOOKS TO RYORI, WHISPERING> C’mon, lemme at him.

Ryori: <WHISPERING> There’re way too many people around. You can’t be serious. You could kill someone.

Ledas: <WHISPERING> I won’t raise my power level above the master’s. He’ll be fine. <LOUD ENOUGH FOR CHIAKI TO HEAR> These guys are making a mockery of the art of combat. Just ‘cause there’s lots of flipping around and throws doesn’t make this beautiful. It’s terrible. If this is a true representation of Aikido, then it has no practical application. It’s a farce. Humans considering this impressive is the worst part. They need some serious Saiyan education—they need someone to check their arrogance. It’s pure nonsense. I cannot allow it to stand.

Ryori: Bro, stop. We have to get home. There’s tons left to do. Have you already forgotten?

Ledas: This will only take a minute.

<SCOWLING, RYORI DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING, BUT HE IS NOT HAPPY>

Chiaki: What are you going to do, debate him on your tier list of martial arts styles?

Master Kamome: <WITH A DISMISSIVE WAVE IN LEDAS’ GENERAL DIRECTION> Ladies and gentlemen, please attend to your children. Now, who will face me? Come forth he who dares. Does anyone have the courage? Last three minutes against me and win Ƶ3,000,000. Is there any among you who is man enough to rise to the challenge? Anyone?

Ledas: I’ll fight you, faker. This should cover the entry fee.

Master Kamome: Look kid, I don’t know what your problem is, but there’s no way I’ll fight you. You’re no match for me. Run along to your mommy.

Ledas: <LOWERS INTO HIS HAZUMI STANCE; THE CROWD’S AMUSEMENT DIES DOWN> Are you scared? I promise I won’t hurt you bad.

Master Kamome: <UPON SEEING LEDAS’ STANCE, HE SOFTENS HIS DISPOSITION; SNATCHES THE CASH FROM THE BOY AND RETREATS TO HIS STUDENTS> I can see you’ve received training. Who was your master, boy?

Ledas: My parents taught me how to fight, but I don’t have a master. Just been sparring with Vegeta. That’s worked well enough so far.

Chiaki: <TO RYORI> Vegeta? Is that the king of Vegetaland?

Ryori: Err, one of his friends, I’d imagine.

Master Kamome: Do you have any idea who you’re up against?

Ledas: Nope, and I don’t care.

Master Kamome: I am Kayden Kamome, Ninth Dan Aikido Master^[11], the reigning champion of the Underground Martial Arts Masters Tournament, and the purveyor of the purest style of martial arts.

Ledas: <HOLDING HIS STANCE> Ooh, I’m shaking in my panties. Are you really as good as they say you are?

Master Kamome: <TAKING OFF HIS SUNGLASSES AND STRIKING A BADASS POSE> Every once and a while. I feel like I’m talking to a ret*rded child. My techniques are so deadly that they are banned from the World Martial Arts Tournament^[12]. I don’t know what your parents taught you, but you are not prepared to take on someone like me at your age. I don’t really like to talk about myself too much, but—

Ledas: Come get me. I’m waiting.

Master Kamome: I’ll wipe that smirk off your face before we’re done.

Aikido Student #2: Show some respect you little worm. Bow to the master.

Ledas: <GLANCES TO THE STUDENT, BUT HIS GAZE REFOCUSES ON KAMOME> If you’re as strong as you say you are, make me.

Master Kamome: <RELAXING> Got ya, little shit.

Chiaki: That was sick! Unbelievable. Why didn’t you tell me he was a martial artist?

Ryori: <LOOKING QUITE IMPRESSED, THOUGH HE’S TRYING TO HIDE IT, HIS FOCUS SHIFTING RAPIDLY AS HE OBSERVES THE EXUBERANT CROWD> Uh, maybe he got lucky. <WITH A RAISED EYEBROW> I don’t know what to say. That was crazy.

Chiaki: Not a chance. Didn’t you see the way he spun in the air? Your cousin has talent. How long’s he been training?

Ryori: <NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY; HE IS SOMEWHAT FLUSTERED, MASKED UNDER THE CROWD’S ROWDINESS; SEARCHING QUICKLY FOR THE RIGHT WAY TO ADDRESS CHIAKI> I mean, I knew he was training, but I didn’t have any idea what he was capable of. Wow.

Disgruntled Man: Bullshit. That was rigged. You set that up to fool us. Well, I’m not buying it. I want to fight the kid for all that money in his hand. How about that?

Ledas: <FALLING INTO HIS HAZUMI STANCE ONCE MORE> I mean, if you’re gonna come at me, come at me. I don’t have all day.

Female Onlooker #16: <SCREAMING> Oh dear Kami, he broke his hand!

Ledas: <HANDING A STACK TO RYORI AND CHIAKI> Thanks for helping cover the entry fee, guys. Here you go.

Chiaki: <JUMPS UP AND HUGS LEDAS, WHO RECOILS, SHIVERING FROM HUMAN CONTACT> Dude, I can’t thank you enough for this! I can’t believe it. You don’t know what it means to me and my mom. We’ll put this money to good use. You’re the best.

Ryori: Like new games for your Switch?

Chiaki: Maybe two or three.

Ryori: More like thirty or forty.

<2:27 P.M.>

<RYORI, CHIAKI, AND LEDAS ENTER THE FRONT YARD, APPROACHING THE DOOR>

Chiaki: That guy’s dojo session tomorrow is going to blow. I don’t know how he’ll show his face.

Ledas: <PAUSES AT THE TREE; REACHES UP, PICKING THE LOWEST-HANGING MANGO> Maybe Aikyou or whatever it was called isn’t the purest martial arts style. He’ll probably cancel.

Ryori: He should cancel permanently. He’s never gonna live that down. It’ll be all over the internet in a few hours.

Chiaki: I hope someone recorded it. Chiwan and the others are going to want to see what you did.

Chiaki: Eugh! What the hell is that thing?

Ledas: This is Carawa. Don’t worry, he’s harmless. He’s part of my pack of Saibas. I have four.

Chiaki: Strange dino. Is he domesticated?

Ryori: Oh yeah. Just wait till you see him pour himself a glass of water.

Chiaki: What the hell? Is this for real? It’s like I’ve slipped into an alternate dimension.

Ryori: <SHRUGGING> This is what you get from the outback, brah.

<CHIAKI’S EARLIER SCREAM HAS ALERTED JIA TO THEIR ARRIVAL; SHE OPENS THE DOOR AND LETS THE FOUR OF THEM INSIDE; HACHI AND CHIWAN ARE IN THERE TOO, SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM, WATCHING TOONAMI AND EATING FOOD; THE OTHERS JOIN THEM AT THE TABLE, WHILE HACHI SIDE-EYES CARAWA, WHO PLOPS DOWN ON THE COUCH WITH A GLASS OF JUICE>

Chiwan: Took ya long enough.

Ledas: Yeah, sorry, we got a tiny bit distracted.

Chiaki: <RAISING AN EYEBROW> What’s this ‘we’? Me ‘n Ryori didn’t get in a fight with a martial arts master.

Ledas: Well, he didn’t last very long. We weren’t delayed that much.

Chiwan: The hell are you talking about?

Jia: Good luck with your project, kids. If you need me, I’ll be in my room.

Chiaki: <STUFFING HIS FACE WITH A WONTON TACO> Thanks for cooking this, Mrs. Hareki. It’s lovely.

Ryori: She’s not my mother. Jia’s our caretaker.

Ledas: Yeah, but she’s still one of the crew. She’s great.

<UNEXPECTEDLY, JIA SMILES, BITING HER LIP AND BLINKING WHILE HOLDING BACK HER EMOTIONS; SHE TAKES HER LEAVE AS LEDAS EXPLAINS HIS BOUT WITH MASTER KAMOME IN THE BACKGROUND TO A DISBELIEVING CHIWAN AND HACHI, FLAILING HIS ARMS AS IF TO MIMIC HOW KAMOME ATTACKED HIM; JIA WALKS DOWN THE HALLWAY, THE SMILE LINGERING ON HER LIPS AS SHE PULLS OUT HER PHONE; THERE’S A MESSAGE FROM MORI>

Mori: <VIA TEXT> Update.

Jia: <VIA TEXT> All good. The alien’s poisoned. Waiting to see how that goes. The Saibamen may be a problem to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

Chiaki: Honestly, I can’t believe she lets you watch Springer.

Ledas: Jerry’s super instructive, like a documentary on humankind. He’s the best. Besides, she’s not gonna tell me what I can and cannot watch. That’s not how this works.

Chiaki: Damn, I wish I could talk to my parents like that.

Ryori: In Ledas’ culture, coddling’s a sign of weakness.

Chiwan: Speaking of which, you’ll want the more dangerous job, I take it? Breaking into Miss Kairyupin’s house, I mean.

Ledas: Sure, I’m down.

Ryori: I’m in charge of that. I know how to get inside.

Chiwan: Are you going to tell us?

Ryori: <WITH A BROAD GRIN> When we were younger, my brother and I lived in downtown West City, in the Parfeit district. Shoekki taught me how to clear the whole building—pulling the fire alarm. Gotta leave reasonable evidence, though, to make it convincing. We’ll have a few minutes in the room without her around if we time it right. It’s a foolproof plan.

Chiwan: What if she closes the door and locks us out? Does anyone have a lockpick?

Chiaki: What is this, Skyrim? Dude, we’re in middle school.

Ryori: Just wait and see. The apartment people always go running off, leaving their doors wide open. Trust me, I’ve done this before. Shoekki and I used to steal from our neighbor’s fridge a couple of times a year using this strat.

Hachi: How horrible! You’re a common thief.

Ryori: <SHRUGGING> We were super poor back then, and we were hungry. I don’t regret it. Big fat bloated Mr. Papadopolus could spare some on the side every now and then.

Ledas: <SPOONING SOUP INTO HIS MOUTH AT A RIDICULOUS PACE> If that doesn’t work, I have an unstoppable backup plan.

Chiwan: Which is?

Ledas: <A SHIVER COURSES THROUGH HIS BODY, BUT HE SHAKES HIS HEAD, GULPING DOWN ANOTHER SPOONFUL OF SOUP> Not gonna say. That’d ruin the surprise.

Chiaki: But what if you don’t have to use it? Surely you’d tell us then.

Ledas: Nope, in that case, it’ll remain a secret forever.

Chiwan: <ROLLS HER EYES> Fine, we’ll try it your way, Ryori. But this better work. If we don’t get that test, it’s your fault. Hachi, go with Chiaki back to school and find a way into Kairyupin’s office.

Chiaki: Unlike Mr. Criminal Mastermind over there, I don’t know how to break into places.

Hachi: Yeah, me neither. What are we supposed to do?

Chiwan: Steal the key from the administrative building.

Chiaki: Everything’s locked down. We won’t be able to get in there.

Ledas: Take Carawa and my other Saibamen. They’re strong enough to break down the door.

Chiwan: Your dinosaur?

Ledas: That’s right. They can help. They’ll take orders from you so long as you promise them a treat at the end.

Ryori: What about having them break the window next to her door? Then you can slip inside, find the answer key, take the picture, and leave. The Saibamen should be able to replace the window, right? Just gotta tell them what to do.

Chiaki: Would they be capable of that?

Ledas: Yeah, they’ll take orders from you if I tell ‘em to. They can handle a little bit of glass clean-up and window replacement. Shouldn’t take more than three minutes if they aren’t slacking.

Carawa: Guah!

Ledas: Sounds like he’s in. You guys’ll have it hecka easy.

Hachi: <RECOILING FROM THE SAIBAMAN’S EMPHATIC DISPLAY> I don’t know. Can we really trust that thing? It looks like it could bite off our hands.

Chiwan: Don’t be a crybaby, Chi.

Ryori: Dude, the Saibamen are harmless. Don’t worry about it.

Ledas: Well, not exactly, but they’d never harm any of my friends. They know what’s going on. They’re cool. Trust me. We got this.

Chiaki: What the hell, dude?

Ledas: <PANTING AND SHIVERING> Bad soup…must’ve been spoiled. Damn it, Jia. Ugh, that was terrible. <HE VOMITS AGAIN>

Ryori: You okay?

Ledas: Ugh, it’s terrible. Once this is out of my belly, I think so, but ugh… <HE LEANS OVER THE TRASHCAN AGAIN> Jia should know better.

Chiaki: <LOOKING LIKE HIKARU NAKAMURA AFTER DEFEATING NIJAT ABASOV IN THE CANDIDATES TOURNAMENT^[14]> If we all get sick, I’m sending you the doctor’s bill.

Ledas: The soup tasted weird. Something was off. Maybe the eggs, I dunno. I don’t think the other stuff is bad, but if you don’t want any, I’ll gladly eat it all. My stomach’s empty. I’ve got loads of room.

Ryori: Please, you would’ve had room either way.

<8:26 P.M.>

Chiaki: Sup, Hachi. Any sign of the janitor?

Hachi: <EYEING THE SAIBAMEN CAUTIOUSLY> He was around here like twenty or thirty minutes ago, sweeping up. I think he’s on the other side of campus.

Chiaki: We should have enough time. In and out. Simple as that. Be quick, alright?

Hachi: I-I don’t know. This seems really crazy. What are we doing? We could get in loads of trouble.

Chiaki: If you don’t want to help, you can run home. But you won’t get access to the answer key in that case. Heh, you’re nothing like your sister. She’s got all the boldness.

Hachi: Why do you care? What, do you have a thing for her?

Chiaki: <MOCKING HIM IN A FAUX-THERAPIST TONE> And how would that make you feel?

Hachi: <ROLLING HIS EYES> You’ve no chance with her. She wouldn’t settle for a clown like you.

Chiaki: Wow, that’s rude. Let me guess: you’re the typical overprotective brother who thinks no one can ever be good enough for his sister. How dare she make a decision on her own, because you know best.

Hachi: <SCOWLING> Yeah, well maybe I do.

Chiaki: Chiwan’s hot, no two ways about it. She’s funny and quick-witted and super independent. I respect that. I’d like to get down with her if she’s cool with it. <HACHI ROLLS HIS EYES AGAIN> But whatever, enough of this palaver. Let’s get the show on the road^[15]. You wanna do the honors?

Hachi: <CONTEMPLATING IT FOR A MOMENT WITH A NONE-TOO-PLEASED LOOK> Fine, give it to me.

Carawa: Uagh!

Hachi: <LETS OUT A HALF-SCREAM, NOT TOO LOUD> Eeah! What do you want, monster?!

Chiaki: Whoa, nice one, little guy. How’d you do that?

Ses: <BEATING HIS CHEST PROUDLY> Grahh!

Hachi: He’s a witch. He turned that glass into sand. Chiaki, this is crazy! We’re going to get in so much trouble.

Chiaki: Quiet or the janitor’ll hear you, dude. These little guys are on our side. Calm down. Don’t be a pussy. Follow me.

<8:52 P.M.>

<BEHIND-THE-BACK SHOT OF THE JANITOR MOPPING UP IN A BATHROOM, FINISHING UP FOR THE NIGHT; AFTERWARDS, HE DEPOSITS HIS JANITORIAL CART IN A STORAGE LOCKER AND LOCKS UP, USING A FLASHLIGHT TO NAVIGATE; AS HE MOVES TOWARDS THE WEST ENTRANCE TO LET HIMSELF OUT, HE NOTICES OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS RIGHT EYE A LIGHT ON IN THE TEACHERS’ OFFICES QUADRANT TO THE SOUTH; RAISING AN EYEBROW, HE SETS OFF FOR IT>

<8:53 P.M.>

Chiaki: <VIA TEXT> not here, were leaving <TO HACHI> Almost done?

Hachi: Yeah, yeah. You know, you could help.

Chiaki: Oh shit. <POINTING AHEAD> That’s the janitor. He’s coming this way. We gotta move.

Hachi: Oh hell no. We’re going to get caught. I told you this would happen.

Chiaki: Shut up and run!

Chiaki: Shit! Idiot, you didn’t measure it properly.

Hachi: Yes I did. I made sure. This is your fault.

Chiaki: You forgot to measure the part that goes under the lip there in the window frame. You dumbass. We gotta get outta here.

Hachi: <BREATHING HARD> Well…gotta hope she doesn’t notice.

Chiaki: <WITH A LOOK OF SATISFACTION> She’ll notice, but she won’t know it was us. Not a chance. She’ll just think a piece of the window fell off or broke or something. I don’t know. Nothing we can do about it now.

Carawa: <TUGGING ON CHIAKI’S SHORTS IMPATIENTLY> Ragruah! Ragruh!

Chiaki: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Your reward. Here you go, little guys. Drink up. Quickly. We gotta get out of here.

<8:57 P.M.>

Janitor: Yes, hello, is this KBC News?

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references Steven Seagal, a charlatan "martial arts master". Seagal is one of the biggest lolcows of all time. It's a great thing that such an idiot exists for us to laugh at and mock. Nobody could come up with Seagal. He's a real life cartoon character. Kamome means seagull in Japanese.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 4: The Seagull's Call
  1. scene 1: montage scene showing some in-class moments with the various teachers
  2. scene 2: on the way out of school, Ledas, Ryori, and Chiaki encounter the Aikido school; have Ledas criticize this style heavily as being counterproductive, counterintuitive, ugly and flashy, and delusional, seeped in the worst aspects of human and asian cultural hubris; Chiaki notes Ledas' uncommon strength
  3. scene 3: Ryori, Ledas, and Chiaki get home to find Chiwan and Hachi already there, being shown around by Jia; the Saibamen are introduced, spooking Hachi; afterwards, they get to work on planning their operation while Jia provides snacks; Chiaki and Hachi are sent to the the office, while the other three go to the house to break in, as Ryori has a way to do it
  4. scene 4: at the middle school, in the evening, Chiaki and Hachi jump the fence; they break into the office with the help of Ledas' Saibamen (they break the glass and then replace it) and look around frantically, but do not find any sign of the answer key; the janitor catches sight of Ses
2. This outline is accurate to what happens, although scene 4 ended up being broken up into four scenes, two of which are short POVs from the janitor's perspective. This chapter was originally called "Moonlit Bandits", referencing Ledas/Ryori/Chiwan breaking into Ms. Kairyupin's apartment. This also applies to Hachi and Chiaki, for they are banditing at the school. I had planned on showing the kids breaking into Ms. Kairyupin's apartment in this chapter, but there was too much going on. I reached what I considered to be the word count limit after showing the Hachi/Chiaki stuff, so decided to split the chapter at that point. The original outline had an additional three scenes, which included the break-in at the apartment and two scenes at school with Kairyupin, culminating with her changing the answer key for the test, which is what happens in chapter 5.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 4 are as follows:
1. have Ledas scam an Aikido school in front of Ryori and perhaps some others
2. 12/29/22: someone punched Gohan during the Great Saiyaman Saga and nearly broke his fist - this should be referenced with a similar scene in the WCS with Ledas
3. 1/8/23: "Ooh, ooh, Ryori, please? C'mon, lemme at him!" ---> Ledas wants to fight in a West City "scam" fight (the usual kind that gather in Ze287, and in DB e43); there is usually a crowd gathered around a guy offering up his "fighter" with a microphone and and everything; 10,000 zeni to enter; 10,000,000 zeni to winner (or merely surviving 3 minutes against the fighter); 1/25/23: have the fighter Ledas fights be from the recent WMAT, possibly Jewel or that jive-talkin guy
4. 2/16/23: have the aikido master boast about winning an underground, secret martial arts tournament that nobody but he and his students know about
5. 2/16/23: after ledas defeats the master, have a big warrior in the crowd dispute the legitimacy of the battle and have Ledas fight him, winning with a tail slap into a wall
6. 2/16/23: as bas rutten said on joe rogan 335, the aikido master should say that he has techniques that are illegal to use in the World Martial Arts Tournament because they are too lethal
7. 2/16/23: from the "Why Aikido is Disliked by BJJ and MMA Practitioners" youtube video, the guy says his Aikido teacher told him that it was the purest form of martial arts, so this needs to be mentioned
8. 2/24:23: have Ledas knock-out the Aikido master with a spinning backfist with his left hand; possibly base this on James Moonstasri vs Anton Zafir (UFC 193), where Moontasri uses a spinning back kick followed by a back fist to end a guy
9. 2/25/23: "look not at how the master applies his techniques, but watch at how the attacker attacks" ---> a principle from the Martial Arts Journey youtube video "Does Steven Seagals' Aikido Work?"; a variation of this should be what Ledas or Chiaki uses to explain to Ryori why the master's demonstrations in ch4 scene 2 are fake; in this same video, the guy mentions how the attackers often leave their fists extended after punching, which is extremely artificial ---> this should be an aspect Ledas points out as being ugly; another, mentioned in the same video, is how the attackers do stupid crazy flips as they fall away, which is also unnatural and worse than trying to resist the master's attack
10. 4/10/23: have a Steven Seagal parody called Kayden Kamome [seagull in Japanese]; he is the grand master who challenges Ledas
11. 4/17/23: before Goku fights the guy in DB episode 43, he says "I promise I won't hurt you bad", which should be referenced by Ledas, as this is an excellent, badass quote indeed
12. 4/20/23: for the third scene, have Jerry Springer playing as the kids plan their shit and eat; perhaps use the episode 'little people, big problems', which causes ledas to laugh a lot when the midgets are seen; midget madness episode also works and has a fight scene; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-OFX8dgA8M ---> this is the one used
13. 4/20/23: when Ledas/Chiaki/Ryori return home in "Moonlit Bandits", have a scene explaining how Jia isn't their mother, but their caretaker, with Ledas saying that she's one of the crew, which begins to endear her to him, making her question her loyalty to Cardinal
My notes for the second draft of chapter 4 are as follows:
1. 10/19/23: for the second draft, have a scene where Ledas fails briefly during an in-class assignment, causing Mr. Takkuro to briefly catch a glimpse of him in the air
2. 1/3/24: add a second onlooker to criticize Ledas' opinion of Kamome
3. 1/3/24: add a little bit more to criticize Aikido as an art/sport ---> while it's been criticized, there is more that can be done here
4. 1/3/24: have Ledas argue with Chiaki briefly before Chiaki gives him money for the entry fee
5. 1/3/24: significant dialogue cleanup required for Ledas vs Kamome
6. 1/3/24: Ryori's reaction to Ledas winning against Kamome after Chiaki says "no way" should be different
7. 1/3/24: expand on Chiaki's reaction to getting a million zeni
8. 1/3/24: have Carawa hug Ledas' leg
9. 1/3/24: when the Saibamen help Chiaki and Hachi break into Kairyupin's office, have one of them wield a hand vaccuum to clean up the glass
10. 1/3/24: Chiaki convincing Hachi to break the window could be done cleaner
11. 1/4/24: have Chiaki and Hachi discuss Chiwan while they are searching through Kairyupin's office, showing the first hints of Chiaki's interest in her
12. 7/23/23: add in an earlier scene where Chiaki gets infatuated with Chiwan, and also have him make a comment about her to Hachi when they pull the stunt with the Saibamen
13. 1/23/24: have Chiaki say "enough of this palaver, let's get the show on the road" before breaking into Kairyupin's office
14. 3/27/24: used tissues FROM HIS BEDSIDE
15. 3/27/24: unfazed, not unphased
16. 4/10/24: as per a change in ch2 with the Usuba scene, have Jia poison Ledas, causing him to throw up in the brainstorming scene at Ryori and Ledas' house; Ledas is barely affected, especially because he's in SS2 at the time
I began writing chapter 4 on February 16, 2023. I wrote about a page and a half that day and the next, writing the first scene, the opening of the second scene, and fragments of later parts of the second scene. I wasn't ready to proceed, so took a long break (the longest in all of the WCS first draft writing phase), not returning to the second scene until April 5^th. I edited sporadically at first, although in the later parts of April, I was more disciplined, finishing the first draft on April 24^th. During the first-draft phase, I edited the story lightly, mostly the second scene, going through about three additional drafts, although I won't count those as official drafts. This was by far the most disjointed first draft up to this point. I did minor editing on May 3^rd and May 14^th, but did not touch the chapter again until the official second draft began on April 14. 2024. The story went through the fifth draft if I recall properly, during those edits. I finished the chapter on April 19^th and published it to the wiki shortly afterward.
I began the first draft of deleted scene #1 on January 1, 2023. Completed it a few hours into January 2^nd. This scene didn't have a lot happening, so there's not much to say. Almost nothing changed during the editing phase. It was the second scene I first drafted (the previous one was an unused deleted scene I didn't end up canonizing). It was first drafted seven months before the next one was. I wrote the final draft on 5/4/24. It was the second deleted scene to be finalized. This is one of three deleted scenes written on my original deleted scenes page (where all of them were together).
The first deleted scene begins before this chapter's first scene. It is considered, canonically, the first scene of the chapter even though it's not posted. There is a way to access the scene if you so wish from both the anthology page and the West City Saga page. This is true for all of the deleted scenes. I will not say specifically how, but it's not super difficult if you're really looking hard to find them. In any case, this is by far the shortest deleted scene. It's not a sex scene. It's more of a build-up scene leading to deleted scene #2 a few chapters from now. Trying to put this vaguely, I wanted to show a pattern of behavior in the boys when they wake up in the morning. Ryori notices and has a reaction to, let's say, Ledas being in a certain state that many boys his age would be upon waking up in the morning. Ledas isn't embarrassed about it because he doesn't realize that you aren't supposed to just walk around in your boxers like that. In any case, seeing and bumping into it produces a reaction in Ryori that will later lead to their first sex scene a few days from this point. Importantly, Ryori realizes that he's attracted to Ledas at this moment. He probably always knew and may have even fapped to him before, but this is the first time he had a touch-response (albeit not one that Ledas reacted to or even really knew was going on, as he was so tired and was busy brushing his teeth). Ryori's reaction causes him to join Ledas appearance-wise, below the waist.
The original draft of the first scene was just a quick scene showing how Ledas cheats to get through the various worksheets and tests. I added in the part about Ledas messing up after coming up with that idea for the second draft ideas. The levity brought from the moment makes the scene far superior and is tonally consistent with the type of story I'm trying to tell.
Ledas doesn't need much of any help during the math sections, aside from the word problems. He shows genuine skill, which I thought made sense since math is a universal language. As long as he knows what the numbers are (it wouldn't have taken him long to learn ten digits), he should be good. Felt logical, at least.
The stuff the kids are taught was what I found when I looked up various seventh-grade curriculums. I know it varies by region, but it was a good base to work from, especially considering I wasn't going to go super in-depth with the homework.
The moment where Ryori laughs at Ledas is endearing because one would think he'd be pissed about Ledas almost blowing it for himself. He doesn't let anger or stress take center stage, which is an important, unconscious moment in their friendship. Not being stressed is key, and while Ledas hasn't proven yet that he can do the class without revealing his powers, he's doing enough to ease Ryori's mind. Plus, Ryori just wants to spend time with him (again, perhaps because he wants him to be more than his friend, whether he consciously realizes it yet or not), and he knows that if he gets mad about this, Ledas is less likely to keep coming to class. There's an element of self-awareness at play, but overall, it was a funny thing and Ryori went with the flow. Very good of him to show character there.
In order to show proper progression, Ledas starts off in a bad place training in SS2 in school. His energy expenditure is far too much at this moment, so much so that he can barely maintain the form itself, let alone train in it. Flying around with afterimages in class should require minimal effort. That he's so tired implies he's incredibly raw with SS2. There will be plenty of progression with this as the story moves forward, but looking back on this early moment, it's clear Ledas is barely functioning in class. Probably takes him until the end of the first week not to be dead tired after a few hours of afterimaging. Even as tired as he is, he still confronts Kamome, showing that an exhausted Ledas is far superior to regular human martial artists (as it should be). His weariness adds to the many insults I lay upon Seagal and Aikido during the second scene.
Chiaki waiting for Ledas with Ryori implies that he's already a closer friend with them than the other students.
In the first draft, Ledas made a more direct comment about liking how Ryori smelled, which seemed too on-the-nose, if you will, that they are going to be romantically involved soon. I thought about this line more than any other between the first and second drafts of the whole story. Trying to delicately balance the foreshadowing made it tricky, because Ledas does like how Ryori smells, and it's not just because he recognizes him that he mentions it. He mentioned in chapter 1 that he thought Jia smelled nice too, so that was sufficient justification for the line. Make no mistake, though, pheromones were a big reason why Ledas said what he said.
Saying he's too tired to spar with Vegeta is unusual for Ledas. He's gotta be completely fatigued.
Ledas being tired during the Kairyupin shenanigans was a means to nerf him slightly to make everything a bit more difficult. Not that they're ever going to get in serious trouble, but it allowed for an additional layer of tension in the story. Useful as that is, as Ledas shows against Kamome, even nearly drained of all power, he's still far faster and more lethal than any regular human.
"Dr. Fusen says don’t waste energy on that which you cannot control. He’s right—I don’t give a shit." - as flippant as this may sound, Chiaki's mentally is more mature than the others' in the class. It's one of the reasons I like his character a lot. He doesn't give a fuck about most things, just wants to have fun. His casual hedonism nicely fits into this story and particularly the scams of this chapter. It's as if he were a character tailor-made for this kind of thing. How could that have happened?
As mentioned in my notes, the martial arts scam in the city is a staple of Dragon Ball, being featured in DB episode 43 and DBZ episode 287. These side plots are amongst my favorites in the slice-of-life portions of the series, so I just had to do one of my own. Ledas is a great character to use for this because, like Buu and kid Goku, he doesn't understand human culture very well, leading to humorous, alien interactions. My spin was to add in the Aikido bullshit. Like with the vegans, I wanted to beat up on Aikido by portraying it as terribly as it can oftentimes look. Having Chiaki there brings him into the inner circle, allowing him a glimpse at Ledas' true power. After the showcase, Chiaki is easily their closest friend.
So now onto Aikido. I hesitate to call it a martial art. It's performative, I'll give it that, but it has no practical application, and most of its showcases are faked by everyone involved. Because of that, I do not pull punches when calling it fake and ugly and all that shit. If your intent is to deceive the audience into believing they're watching true martial arts while simultaneously professing Aikido as the purest form of combat, you deserve to be called out as harshly as possible. Aikido is fake. Whenever an Aikido practitioner goes up against a real martial artist, they get destroyed. This is mainly because they aren't taught any useful moves or movements in the Aikido schools. Aikido looks fake when you watch it. The opponents move slowly, leave their fists hanging in the air, and when they're struck, they role away theatrically. It's more of a play than a martial arts. That's not to say it doesn't take skill to do what they do. It does. Learning how to flip away at the slightest touch is not easy. But it's not martial arts. I did a lot of research on Aikido before writing scene 2, especially centered around Steven Seagal because he's just the biggest lolcow ever. The youtuber Martial Arts Journey has a ton of informational videos on the subject. He's great. He was an Aikido practitioner for years, giving him unique insight into the deceptive nature of the "art". I watched a lot of his stuff to research how I'd go about this scene. Overall, I'm quite happy to have gotten a chance to call out Aikido through Ledas. Bullshit needs to be properly named and categorized, and in my opinion, the world is too lenient with Aikido, partially through indifference and partially through ignorance.
The pat-a-cake description of Kamome's slap is a reference to Space Ice, a youtuber who lambasts Seagal. Seagal's technique is terrible. I very much agree his slaps look like he's trying to play pat-a-cake in the sandbox.
There is footage of Seagal fighting multiple Aikido students like the way I described Kamome doing it (it may have been his test to become a black belt, I'm not sure), and it's just as obviously scripted as the battle in this scene. Honestly, I consider this sort of thing to be a corruption of all that martial arts stands for. This goes beyond parody and humor—the fakeness is pathetic, desperately seeking unearned attention. But that's who Seagal is at his core.
I had to ease into the scam, so I had the others doubt Ledas and yell at him for disrespecting Kamome. If I recall, HZ liked this touch. It makes for a better payoff later on and injects more humor into the scene, which I'm always trying to do.
The righteous fury building in Ledas as he watches the scam unfold is a personality trait he and I share. Don't get me wrong, I love a good scam, but that doesn't mean that every scam is cool. Pretending to be a martial arts master is just weak. It's lame as fuck. And it deserves to be called out.
Ryori defending Ledas to the onlookers is a nice way of showing their close bond. Even if Ryori doesn't exactly understand what the scam is (or if there is a scam at all), he trusts Ledas enough to have his back (which he will enjoy pressing up against without a shirt on in the future, so of course he would). That's a true bro for ya.
As to if Mr. Satan could beat Kamome, personally I think yes, but I also rate him higher as a warrior than most of the DB fanbase. He legitimately earned his world title. He knows how to fight. He'd do well in the DB tournaments, but obviously wouldn't beat Roshi or Krillin or Tien. In either case, that match would be hilarious to watch. Kamome's size and strength would no doubt be a problem, but his lack of technical skill would mean he's unlikely to block many if any of Mr. Satan's attacks. His own attacks would be useless unless he abandoned his Aikido principles. I'm taking Mr. Satan in a match that doesn't last three minutes.
Ledas is in rare form in the second scene. He starts it off so tired, but at the first sign of martial arts bullshit, his energy is (at least temporarily) renewed. This goes back to him feeling righteous fury. Still, wishing to publically humiliate Kamome is not a personality trait he exhibits often. It takes a lot to push Ledas to this point, showing that he truly despises the man.
I agree with Ledas that Aikido looks ugly. I don't care what anyone says. The flipping around, the wrist-grabs—all of it looks bad. It's not fluid, it's not like water, and it's by no means the purest or best martial art. It's not a martial art to begin with. It's a performative play-like activity. I have more respect for WWE wrestlers. At least they are athletes who put their bodies on the line for real.
"Humans considering this impressive is the worst part. They need some serious Saiyan education—they need someone to check their arrogance." - this is the key point of the entire second scene. The arrogance of thinking Aikido is beautiful or deadly when it can't hold up against any other style of martial arts is what makes my (and Ledas') blood boil the most.
Bless Ledas' lil Saiyan heart for booing that charlatan, for having the courage to go against the crowd.
Chiaki is a poor boy (though he needs no sympathy). Ƶ2400 (his third of the entry fee) is equivalent to $17. Not chump change for someone of his socioeconomic status. The fact that he was able to be convinced though, likely by Ryori promising to pay him back if Ledas lost, shows he's a true bro, a true member of the group. Ledas gained tremendous respect for him at that moment, explaining why he didn't think twice about giving him a third of the prize money at the end.
"I promise I won’t hurt you bad." - this is the same line Goku says to the Bruce Lee impersonator in DB episode 43. The callback allows for a parallel between him and Goku in terms of their approaches to the martial arts street fight. Already, Ledas has shown more pride than Goku, being offended that fakers would dare call themselves masters, whereas Goku just wanted a good fight, oblivious to the fact that the guy he was up against would stand no chance. Ledas knows with absolute certainty that he will destroy Kamome without powering up, so his motivations are starkly different. By using a similar scenario, I was able to show how different Ledas and Goku are, even if they intersect with this line, which I felt was entirely in character for Ledas to say at that moment.
Kamome would not have fought Ledas had Ledas not fallen into a martial arts pose. He still believed the kid would be no problem, but at least saw that Ledas wasn't a complete amateur.
It's a good question if Ledas ever wears panties. He might crossdress sometimes, but I haven't written any deleted scenes or explored the issue at all. Dunno. The answer is maybe. I'm not sure if Ryori would be up for it. If he is, then the answer would be probably, albeit infrequently.
Goku bowed to the Bruce Lee impersonator. Ledas does not. He's too strong-willed. He does not believe in showing respect when it's forced. He'll bow if he wants to. Nobody can make him. It's not even about disrespecting Kamome (which he clearly does). He will not do this sort of thing just because someone demands it of him.
"If you’re as strong as you say you are, make me" - this is a callback to the name of the final chapter of the Reunion Saga of The Forgotten.
As mentioned in the above notes, I modeled Ledas' takedown of Kamome off of James Moonstasri's knockout of Anton Zafir in UFC 193. To this day, that is the most beautiful knockout I've ever seen in the UFC.
Writing Ryori in this scene was difficult. He had to start off annoyed at Ledas, but comes around after seeing the technically impressive knockout. His dialogue was almost completely changed between the first and final drafts. HZ correctly mentioned that this is a moment of Ryori falling for Ledas, getting the hots for him while watching the boy exert his power over the man. In that moment, his annoyance disappears. He can't help but feel a burst of euphoria, the blood rushing not entirely to his head. To be honest, I was quite surprised HZ picked up on this subtle moment, so either well done to him or it's not as subtle as I had intended.
Ƶ1,000,000 is about $7100. That's no chump-change. Chiaki is eternally grateful to Ledas for giving him that much money. He is touched by Ledas' selflessness, and from then on, they are really close friends. It's not the money specifically that does this. Their relationship is not transactional. It's more about how Ledas didn't have to give him so much but did so without a second thought. Though the scene ends on a comedic note, this is a deeply touching gesture. Chiaki's words are sincere, and if I may be so bold, I'd hazard to guess he's swallowing and blinking a lot to hold back the tears.
Mango is one of my favorite fruits, which is why there's a mango tree in Ledas' front yard. I've tried to grow mango trees in the past. Damn slugs always eat the leaves, killing them. I'd love to have a mango tree.
I've always loved writing Ledas' interactions with his Saibamen. I consider them his Pokémon.
Chiaki's reaction to Carawa was appropriate, in my opinion. I'd scream too. Saibamen are scary, and were this a random interaction without Ledas present, it's possible that Chiaki would end up dead. Alas, the redboi's been tamed.
The fact that this is the Dragon World allowed me to have Chiaki think Carawa's a dinosaur. That'd be unthinkable in the real world. Another nifty use of the world I'm writing in.
"What the hell? Is this for real? It’s like I’ve slipped into an alternate dimension." - Chiaki's reaction is fairly typical of a regular human, I'd say. Jia had a similar reaction to the Saibamen in chapter 2.
I think it was rude of Mrs. Hakimoto to drive her kids to Ryori and Ledas' house without giving Ryori, Ledas, and Chiaki a ride. Though this allowed for an interesting scene to develop, her rudeness must be noted.
Jia's choice for appetizers is great. I personally love mozzarella sticks. I could eat them for a whole meal. The cheese gets overwhelming at a point, though. It's always a fine line to walk. The chicken wonton tacos are an appetizer at Applebee's that I love, so had to include them here. I'm not much of a fan of chicken wings (especially bone-in) but it's a crowd-pleaser and I'm not the one eating them.
Hot and Sour soup is one of my favorite meals. I make it all the time, although I like to add tons of eggs and additional heat via sliced serrano peppers and chili oil.
The little exchange where the boys clarify that Jia isn't their mother, just their caretaker, but she's still part of the crew, moves Jia deeply. She has grown to like the boys in the short time they've spent together. This statement activates her maternal instincts and makes it far more difficult for her to serve Cardinal going forward. While she did just poison Ledas, she did so under duress. I'm not sure if she could've gone along with it after hearing Ledas call her part of the crew. She'd probably say she tried to poison him and it failed without actually doing so. Either way, by knowing that she's now part of the crew, Jia realizes that there is a home for her, if she so chooses. The choosing part is the difficulty in the situation. If she chooses them over Cardinal, she'll risk her life, unless she has Ledas kill Cardinal and his men. It's moments like this that show Jia Ledas isn't a bad kid, certainly not worth trying to kill. She sees no point in it. Cardinal's drive for revenge is madness. She's beginning to realize she cannot be a part of that destructive mindset.
Jia telling Cardinal about the Saibamen's power inadvertently gets Ses and Ame killed later on. If she had known how Usuba planned on attacking, I don't think she would have mentioned that. She's not entirely on Ledas' side at this early point and does somewhat fear the Saibamen, so wanting to get rid of them makes sense. It just sucks that she's not entirely a good girl yet.
I spent a lot of time coming up with Ryori's plan to break into Kairyupin's apartment. I wanted it to be somewhat logical while also childishly reckless. I feel like I struck that balance well, but dunno. Hard to be objective about it from my vantage.
Mr. Papadopolus was named after a person who worked on Seinfeld. I don't remember what he did (he may have been the key grip? I dunno), but he's also referenced in the episode "The Blood" of that series.
Ryori reveals a bit more about his backstory in this chapter that I had not expected to delve into before writing it. But yeah, he and Shoekki grew up so poor that they sometimes had to steal food to survive. I'm guessing they did this after their mother's death, but I'm not entirely sure. Maybe I'll explore that part of their histories, maybe not. I have not decided yet. I feel for them, though. They did what they had to do to survive. It's not anything to be ashamed of.
I wanted to have the Saibamen be out and about for much of the saga. Having them help Chiaki and Hachi was a fun idea to bring them into the greater plot. It also shows how loyal they are to Ledas that they'd be willing to listen to people they'd never met before if he asked them to. I don't know how Hachi and Chiaki would've broken into the office without them, or at least do so without leaving a broken window behind. When I figured this out, the scam came together into a coherent plan.
Ledas isn't kidding when he says Hachi and Chiaki will have it easy. The Saibamen end up doing most of the work for them.
Slurping is pretty disgusting. I don't care if the Chinese consider that polite. As a society, they spit and hack all over the place and consider that normal. "All cultures are created equal, how dare you insult any culture for anything!" Nah, brah, it's disgusting, barbaric, and infantile. I would never go to China, but if I did, I'd never eat any of the food there, so there's not like I'd ever get put in the situation of being forced to slurp the soup. I would never.
Ledas is only minorly affected by the poison because I didn't want more poison plots. Now that the NRRA knows they cannot reliably poison him, they'll have to try something else. This is one of those things I don't try to explain too deeply. He's a Saiyan, has a different biological make-up compared to humans, and his power level (especially considering he's currently in SS2) may play a factor too. Don't want to get more specific than that.
The ease with which Chiaki jumps the fence indicates he's done so before.
Hachi isn't wrong to be worried. He's the voice of reason here, but seems like a wet blanket because we just wanna see the fun shit go down. If this were real life, I suspect most readers would be Hachi rather than Chiaki in this instance.
Chiaki reveals he's into Chiwan in the fourth scene. This did not originally occur. When I was writing the first draft, I came up with Chiaki and Chiwan getting together, but it was fairly late in the story when I did so. I don't remember if I came up with it before chapter 9 (I suspect not). Wanted to show some build-up to that. This conversation between Chiaki and Hachi was the perfect opportunity. The contrast between Hachi and Chiwan's personality highlighted the utility of this conversation. Hachi's pretty well-defined already, I'd say, despite not having much dialogue or any plotlines centered around him.
Chiaki shows that he listens to Opie and Anthony before beginning the scam, which is another point in his favor. What a guy.
I loved the little interaction with Carawa and the boys, especially the part where Hachi freaks out and calls him a witch. Gotta remember that they're just regular humans and have no idea what the Saibamen (and Ledas) are capable of even in extremely restrained moments of power. In my opinion, the characterizations of Hachi and Chiaki in the fourth scene were stronger than usual, leaving a lasting impact on me for future chapters.
The way the janitor notices the boys is similar to how many of the scams fall apart at the last moment in Better Call Saul. Thematic parallel there to be sure.
Hachi made a mistake with the measurements, but he's just a thirteen-year-old boy. This is not his area of expertise. Their mistakes highlight how out of their depth they are. They shouldn't be doing this. Emotions run strong at that age and reason oftentimes takes the backseat. Had the Saibamen not been there, they would've been caught for sure. Luckily, they know Ledas. Hachi was right that they should not have done this. At the very least, they should've waited another hour or two until after the janitor left. But I guess the kids would then have a hard time sneaking in and out of their homes past their bedtimes.
It's be fucked if the school's fence had barbed wire.
Kiwi juice is amazing. Love it long time. Kiwi is my overall favorite fruit. Nothing beats a ripe one. The flavor's unmatched.
KBC News is seen throughout Dragon Ball Z. The guys who film the Cell Games are from that station. It made sense to use that company instead of making up another news channel to further tie this story into the DB universe.
This is the first chapter to end on a cliffhanger. I hadn't originally intended it to. Had I included the full scam, this chapter would be almost twice as long as any other chapter. Didn't want that, so had to go the cliffhanger route. Works better than I remembered.
Overall, I really liked this chapter. The scamming was at the heart of it, and that was super fun, but the character work caught my eye more. There's lots of buildup for future shit going down, particularly with Jia's upcoming loyalty test and Chiaki pursuing Chiwan. The characters feel real. Their conversations do not feel like they're being guided as if on rails, but rather unfolding how the characters would naturally react. The banter between the students is top-notch. Really had a blast writing it. Ledas' stuff with Kamome was particularly fun to write about. Exploring how he'd act in a rare emotional state was entertaining to write and read. No Usuba for the past two chapters leaves a looming, uneasy presence over these chapters, as we know he's up to something but not sure quite what that is. As the kids bond and share crazy experiences, this is quite clearly the calm before the storm. The scam isn't even over; that tension will resolve in the next chapter. I like the pacing and the consistent comedic, yet heart-felt tone. I am glad to have developed this style, for it makes re-reading the story a continuously rewarding experience.

5. To Me It Looked Like a Leprechaun to Me

<8:19 P.M.>

<MS. KAIRYUPIN CARRIES A PAPER BAG OF GROCERIES AS SHE ENTERS THE EAST MERINGUE APARTMENT COMPLEX; SHE TAKES THE ELEVATOR TO THE FOURTH FLOOR; THE DOORMAN, A LUMPY, ROTUND MAN, HIS HAIR WISPY WHITE, WRINKLES OVERFLOWING HIS FIELD OF VISION IN ADVANCED AGE, WAVES HER INSIDE, HALF-NODDING OFF, HIS HEAD BOBBING AS HE MUMBLES TO HIMSELF AND LISTENS TO A BASEBALL GAME ON HIS HEADPHONES WHILE EATING A BAG OF PISTACHIOS; CHIWAN, RYORI, AND LEDAS SNEAK INTO THE LOBBY AFTER THEIR TEACHER’S ELEVATOR GOES UP; CHIWAN WEARS A DARK GREEN JACKET; RYORI WEARS AN ORANGE HOODIE; LEDAS WEARS A BLACK HOODIE>

Chiwan: <QUICKLY COMING UP WITH SOMETHING> We, um, sir, our mommy sent us out for kaffir leaves and—

Doorman: <WAVING THEM OFF; WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PISTACHIOS> Go on, go on, get up there. You’re good. <RYORI PRESSES THE ELEVATOR BUTTON WITH DESPERATE IMPATIENCE UNTIL THE SECOND ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS AND WHISKS THEM AWAY> Damn kids interruptin’ my Taitans game.

Ryori: <PULLS OUT A LIGHTER AND A PLASTIC BAG FILLED WITH PAPER AND CARDBOARD> Now’s the fun part.

Chiwan: You won’t burn the whole building down, promise? You do know that there’s only one way out of an apartment? We’ll be trapped if things gets out of hand.

Ryori: Don’t worry, it’ll just give off a little smoke. Just enough to spook ‘em. It’s not going to burn down the building. You’ll see.

Man: No, no, never. Are you crazy? It’s clean as long as you do the ol’ sweep around enough times.

Woman: Babe, just stop. You have to get that finger in there and clean inside.

Man: Noooo! I will not be putting any of my fingers in there. Never going to happen.

Woman: Then it’s not clean. That’s all I’m saying.

Man: And all I’m saying is you’re crazy.

Ledas: <COCKS HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE> Huh, what were they talking about?

<CHIWAN’S EYE IS TWITCHING; SHE IS DISGUSTED>

Ryori: <NERVOUSLY LAUGHING> Don’t worry about it, dude. Anyways, are you ready? <THEY NOD, SO HE WALKS OVER TO THE UTILITY CLOSET, WHICH IS LOCATED ACROSS THE HALL FROM MS. KAIRYUPIN’S DOOR, THREE DOORS TO THE LEFT; HE TRIES TO OPEN IT, BUT THE DOOR IS LOCKED> Hey, uh, Ledas, can you come here for a sec?

<8:25 P.M.>

<MS. KAIRYUPIN’S APARTMENT>

Ms. Kairyupin: <MUTTERING> Damn onions…

Chiwan: Ledas, check her study. Ryori, check her bedroom. I’ll check in here.

Ryori: <FROM THE OTHER ROOM> Aw yeah, jackpot!

Chiwan: What the hell are you doing with those?

Ryori: It’s a souvenir. Something to remember today by.

Chiwan: Yeah, I’m sure that’s all you’re going to do with them. Besides, they look expensive. It’s one thing to take her regular stuff, but that looks like a special piece. You should put it back.

Ryori: So what? Ms. Kairyupin’s gotta make tons of money. She’s a teacher, after all. She can replace it.

Chiwan: <ROLLS HER EYES> Whatever. Ugh, that’s so disgusting. You have a thing for her, dude?

Ryori: What? No way. Definitely not my type. Not even close. But <HE DANGLES THE PANTIES IN FRONT OF CHIWAN, SPREADING THEM OUT; SHE MAKES A FACE> her taste is undeniable.

Chiwan: Oh shit! Shit shit shit!

Ledas: What do we do?

Ryori: Quick! <HE RUNS OVER, HIS PHONE OUT, AND SNAPS A PHOTO OF EACH PAPER, FLIPPING THEM OVER TO GET PHOTOS THE OTHER SIDES> Alright, put it back. Let’s get outta here.

Ledas: <LICKING HIS FINGER> Y’know, Ms. Kairyupin’s not a bad cook. This is really tasty. Like, we should get Jia to add this to her recipes.

Ryori: You’ll have to tell her how to make it, cuz I dunno. It’s some kind of curry, I think. Who knows what’s in it?

Chiwan: Put it away before she gets back. Boys get distracted so easily. Focus.

Ledas: Oh come on, she’s not gonna notice one bowl missing. Besides, I’m starv— <HE STOPS MID-SENTENCE, SEEMINGLY DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING>

Chiwan: Earth to Ledas.

Ledas: Oh crap, you guys, they’re coming back.

Chiwan: What, how can you tell?

Ryori: <HIS EYES WIDEN IN REALIZATION> The alarm’s off. When’d it go off?

Chiwan: <IN A LOW, PANICKED VOICE> We need to get out of here. Now.

Ledas: They’re coming back. Ms. Kairyupin too. They’re close.

Ryori: How close?

Chiwan: What are you talking about?

Ms. Kairyupin: <LETS OUT A LONG SIGH; FROM THE ENTRYWAY> Well, that was a gigantic waste of time.

Chiwan: A dead-end. What are we going to do? The only way out is through the kitchen.

Ryori: She’ll spot us for sure. There’s nowhere to hide in there.

Ledas: Uh, guys, she’s coming. Quiet.

Ms. Kairyupin: Just so fucking great, isn’t it? Just so fucking great! Tonight of all nights. It’s like the universe is out to fucking get me. It’s one motherfucking thing after another. Auuughh! And the cherry on top—the motherfucking dollop of whipped shit cream on top—is that I missed the end to The Youthful and the Anxious during the goddamn 50th-anniversary mid-season pre-finale. Fuck!

Ledas: She’s pissed.

Chiwan: Hopefully that’ll distract her for a while. We need to come up with a plan for how to get out of here.

Ryori: Look, we gotta do it. It’s our only chance. Her window’s big enough.

Ledas: Yeah, good call.

Chiwan: <GOING WHITE> What?! We’re four stories up. Jumping would be suicide.

Ledas: No, silly, we’re gonna fly.

Chiwan: Now is not the time for jokes. That’s never going to happen.

Ledas: But I’m not joking. I know how to fly.

Ryori: <SPEAKING QUICKLY> Haven’t you seen the World Martial Arts Tournaments? This is a technique that’s been used by fighters for ages. I think it was the, uh, Turtle School that first popularized the technique. Isn’t that right, Leeds?

Ledas: Did you just call me Leeds?

Ryori: <NARROWING HIS EYES> Answer the question.

Ledas: A turtle doesn’t have wings, does it? Why would that be the flying school?

Ryori: I don’t know. More than one fighter was able to fly in previous tournaments. I’m sure of it. I’ve seen the videos. It’s a technique that’s out there. Several martial arts schools have been using it, including the one Ledas attended as a kid. Just grab onto him and we can go.

Chiwan: <SKEPTICAL> He’d really be able to hold both of us? No offense, but he’s scrawnier than you, than even my little brother.

Ledas: That’s no problem, just jump on. We have to hurry.

Ledas: C’mon, I promise I’ll catch you.

Chiwan: This is crazy. I-I don’t know if I can do this.

Ledas: Don’t worry. I’ll catch you. Or would you rather get caught?

<LEDAS’ HANDS REMAIN EXTENDED; SHE TAKES A MOMENT TO GATHER HERSELF BEFORE REACHING OUT, GRASPING HIS WRISTS AND FLINGING HERSELF INTO HIS ARMS, CRYING OUT; THE SAIYAN SHIVERS AS SHE TOUCHES HIM; LEDAS DOES NOT SLOUCH UNDER EITHER OF THEIR BODY WEIGHTS, AND AFTER THEY HAVE CLUNG TO HIM, HE LOOKS OUT OVER THE CITY; HOVERCARS SPEED BY BELOW; THE CITY IS AWASH IN COLOR; THE MOON IS HIGH IN THE SKY, TWO DAYS FROM BEING FULL; LEDAS GLANCES AT IT, ANOTHER DEEP SHIVER RUNNING THROUGH HIS SPINE, BEFORE LOWERING THEM TO GROUND LEVEL AT A MODEST PACE; CHIWAN IS NEVERTHELESS FREAKING OUT THE WHOLE WAY, WHIMPERING, WHILE RYORI IS UNFAZED>

Chiwan: Bro, that was inhuman. <WITHOUT WARNING, CHIWAN JUMPS AT LEDAS, HUGGING HIM TIGHTLY> I can’t believe it. That was crazy awesome. Why didn’t you tell us you could do that?

Ledas: <NOT KNOWING HOW TO REACT; GLANCING TO RYORI> She’s attacking me with some sort of body hold. Is this an invite to spar?

Ryori: Dude, no. She’s just hugging you.

Ledas: Hugging? What’s that mean?

Chiwan: You seriously don’t know what a hug is? Dang, I feel sorry for you.

Ryori: Vegetaland is a primitive place. You’ll have to excuse him.

Chiwan: Whatever. <TO LEDAS> That was cool. You’re hella skilled.

Ledas: It was nothing, really.

Chiwan: No, that was bonkers. You don’t have to be humble about it. People can’t fly. That’s not a thing. I don’t care what Ryori said. I can’t believe it.

Ryori: I’ll find the video for you when we get home. Flying’s not that special. Any good martial artist can do it.

Chiwan: Yeah? Can you?

Ryori: Of course not.

Chiwan: That’s my point.

Ryori: Ledas is a martial artist. He’s been training since he was little. He’s learned all sorts of crazy techniques we can’t comprehend.

Chiwan: Is that true?

Ledas: Uh, I guess. Sure.

Chiwan: No, but like seriously, you’ve flipped my world upside down. I didn’t know that was a thing. Like, what the hell? I can’t believe we just did that.

<RYORI’S PHONE BUZZES AS HE RECEIVES A TEXT; THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON THE NOTIFICATION ON HIS PHONE’S SCREEN—A MESSAGE FROM CHIAKI READING ‘NOT HERE, WERE LEAVING’; RYORI SMIRKS AND TYPES A RESPONSE AS THE THREE OF THEM WALK OFF INTO THE NIGHT, THE CAMERA PANNING BACK OVER THE STREET, WHICH IS AWASH IN FAR TOO MANY HIGH BEAMS TO BE LEGAL>

<7:41 A.M.>

<MS. KAIRYUPIN ARRIVES AT THE SCHOOL, CARRYING A DIFFERENT PURSE THAN THE ONE THAT WAS RUINED IN THE PREVIOUS SCENE; AS SHE ENTERS HER OFFICE, SHE SHIVERS, FOR IT’S FREEZING IN THERE; FEELING A DRAFT, SHE LOOKS OVER AT THE WINDOW, NOTICING THE OPEN GAP AT THE TOP>

<2:18 P.M.>

News reporter: Curiosity leads to large crowds in West City’s Purin district community^[17]. Many of you bringing binoculars, camcorders, even camera phones to take pictures.

Janitor: To me, it looked like a leprechaun to me. <HE HOLDS UP HIS PHONE TO THE POSSE BEHIND HIM> All you gotta do is look up in the tree. Who else seen the leprechaun say ‘yea’.

News reporter: Eyewitnesses say the leprechaun only comes out at night. If you shine a light in its direction, it suddenly disappears. <A 180P QUALITY PHOTO OF CARAWA IS SHOWN ON SCREEN AS THE MAN CONTINUES SPEAKING—MORE A PIXELATED RED BLOB THAN ANYTHING ELSE> This amateur photo shows what many of you say the leprechaun looks like. Others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image.

Eyewitness #1: My theory is it’s casting a shadow from the Makyan star.

Eyewitness #2: Could be a poppers fiend that got ahold to the wrong stuff, and it told him to get up in the tree and play a leprechaun.

Chiaki: Lucky the janny’s phone’s camera sucks. You can barely tell it’s one of Ryori’s pets.

Hachi: Yeah, the blurrier the better.

Chiwan: Why do they think he looks like a leprechaun anyway? He’s red, not green.

Tabashi: He can’t have gotten too good of a look at it.

Eyewitness #3: I’m gonna rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the gold at. I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold.

Chiwan: Oh, that’s why.

Old woman: I seen them Leprechauns before. I know I have. I’m sure of it. Those boobs are barking up the wrong tree.

Chiaki: Oh man. There’s no way that’s real. Those people are trolling the hell out of the news people.

Hachi: I believed them. They think they saw something they can’t explain. And let’s be serious, they’re right. These Saibas are very strange. Anybody would be freaked out seeing them.

Chiwan: I don’t know, I think they really want the gold. Might do anything to get it. You just gotta believe.

Ryori: Look, this is from the twenty-second World Martial Arts Tournament. Took place like twenty years ago, so forgive the quality.

Chiaki: What the hell? Is that guy flying?

Ryori: That’s Tien Shinhan. He won that tournament. There’s not much footage from before Mr. Satan’s first win, so this is probably the best look we’re going to get. He was famous for being able to fly. See Chiwan? I told you it’s a legitimate martial arts technique.

Chiwan: Huh. To be honest, the footage isn’t great. How am I supposed to know if it’s real?

Ryori: <WITH PRIDE> The World Martial Arts Tournament is the most prestigious fighting tournament on the planet. Only the greatest of warriors can become champions. Just take Mr. Satan for example. This is raw footage. If you don’t believe it, I don’t know what to tell you.

Chiwan: I mean, I have my doubts, but fair enough.

Hachi: What are you talking about?

Chiwan: We were stuck in Ms. Kairyupin’s apartment, so Ledas flew us out.

Hachi: From the fourth story?!

Chiwan: I almost couldn’t believe it. Not only that, he was strong enough to carry me and Ryori at the same time.

Chiaki: That doesn’t surprise me. You should’ve seen the way he smoked that Aikido master yesterday. That guy must’ve been in his sixties. Ledas took him out with one hit.

Ryori: It was probably just a lucky shot.

Chiaki: No, he’s skilled. Like really skilled. Must have been training his whole life. I don’t know why you’re being so modest. Is it because he’s secretly entering the next world tournament?

Ryori: I’m not, I swear. I don’t know what his plans are.

Hachi: I wanna see him fly. Take me on a flight, please.

Jia: Once again, officer, I can say with confidence that I am not housing a group of leprechauns in my backyard. We have Capsule Corp. tech, as you can see <SHE GESTURES TO THE FENCE, CAUSING THE OLD WOMAN, WHO IS RIGHT THERE, TO DUCK BELOW HER FENCE, WHERE THE GRAVITY TRAINING UNIT, WITH A CAPSULE CORP. LOGO VISIBLE, CAN BE SEEN>, but no leprechauns. Sorry to disappoint.

Officer #1: No need to apologize, ma’am. Dealing with crazy neighbors is part and parcel of living in a big city. We get calls like these daily. Sorry to bother you.

Jia: Of course, but if this continues, I’ll seek a restraining order against her.

<4:42 P.M.>

Mori: <VIA TEXT> Update.

Jia: <VIA TEXT> The poison hasn’t affected him whatsoever. I recommend discontinuing it. If anyone else eats contaminated food, it could blow our cover. There’s little upside pursuing it.

Mori: <VIA TEXT> Very well. Dr. Usuba has come up with another means to deal with him. Pull back.

Jia: <VIA TEXT> As you wish, sir.

<6:41 P.M.>

<DR. USUBA, OSCALPANO, CARDINAL, AND THREE SCIENTISTS STAND BEFORE A MAKESHIFT PRISON CELL, WHERE A MAN IS CHAINED FROM THE CEILING, HANGING IN A SLUMPED STATE>

Cardinal: Begin.

Dr. Usuba: As you can see, he didn’t last long. Ranmusei^[19] was a semi-finalist at the last World Martial Arts Tournament. Illegal betting on fights led to his incarceration, but we shouldn’t forget he was incredibly powerful. Look at how easily they devoured him.

Oscalpano: It’s a start, to be sure. The alien far outclasses anyone at the World Martial Arts Tournament.

Dr. Usuba: Their potential goes far above what was just shown.

Oscalpano: It’ll need to be much higher to deal with the Saiyan.

Cardinal: Very true. Make sure their energy reserves are considerably higher than what you’ve managed so far. The alien’s power is unfathomable. We don’t have any data on it. Assume the worst.

Dr. Usuba: <TAKEN ABACK, BUT BOWS IN RESPECT NONETHELESS> Yes, sir. The updated model will take out the boy no problem.

Cardinal: You have much work to do yet. Get back to it. Jia’s attempt at poisoning didn’t work. The aliens are made of harder stuff than we could possibly anticipate. This isn’t going to be as easy as it looks. Assume the boy is stronger than your prototypes and adjust accordingly.

<1:14 A.M.>

<FIRST-PERSON CAMERA SHOT FROM LEDAS’ POINT-OF-VIEW; HE LOOKS UP AT VEGETA HOVERING OVER HIM, HIS VISION FADING IN AND OUT; A FEW BLINKS AND HE STEADIES HIMSELF, JETTISONING UPWARD; AT THIS MOMENT, THE CAMERA CUTS TO A WIDER SHOT OF HIM FROM BEHIND, SHOWING THAT LEDAS’ HAIR IS FLICKERING BETWEEN BLACK AND GOLD>

<8:06 A.M.>

Ippi: <WHILE TEXTING ON HER PHONE> If the teacher doesn’t show up in fifteen minutes, we can go home.

Tabashi: That’s an urban legend. Leave and you’ll get marked absent.

Chiaki: I’ll do it. I’ll bail at the fifteen. Who’s in? If we all go, they can’t punish us.

Ledas: Yeah, I’m in.

Ippi: Me too. Screw it.

Chiwan: Please, if she doesn’t show, one of the other teachers’ll take over. You’ll get detention. I’m not going down like that.

Ms. Kairyupin: Sorry I’m late, everyone. <SHE TAKES A HANDFUL OF PAPERS OUT OF HER BAG AND PASSES OUT THE ECOLOGY TESTS> There was a snag with the copier. Had to run all the way across campus to fetch a different version of the test.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references this news report. The title of the chapter is a line one of "witnesses" says during the video. This was chosen because it ties into the West City Middle School janitor seeing Carawa at the end of the last chapter and calling KBC News about it (the report is shown during this chapter).
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 5: Moonlit Bandits
  1. scene 1: a short scene showing Ms. Kairyupin coming home and beginning to cook when her fire alarm goes off; she runs out of the room, and the camera switches to Ryori at the fire alarm; the three children sneak into her apartment, looking for her work stuff; as they continue looking through Ms. Kairyupin's room, her big pot of stew boils over, but nobody saves it, which causes an absolute catastrophe in the kitchen; they realize that the answer key was in her purse, which had been on the counter and is covered in the boiled-over food; they take pictures of it while Ledas senses Ms. Kairyupin returning, the fire alarm having gone off; they are boxed in the house, having to run between a few rooms while she is in there, barely missing her; Ryori steals a pair of panties, much to Chiwan’s disgust; Ledas flies them out of the bedroom window, revealing his hidden power to Chiwan in the process; as they land, she is shocked at what he just did
  2. scene 2: short scene of the next day, with Ms. Kairyupin coming to class with a different purse, transitioning to the eight students eating lunch and observing some people replacing the window in Kairyupin’s office, transitioning to the five students studying the ecology notes from the pictures Chiwan took, etc. together at Ryori and Ledas' house
  3. scene 3: on the Thursday midday newscast, the janitor of the West City Middle School is interviewed and describes the Saibaman, of whom an eyewitness sketch is shown, and a blurry video of the creature is then shown, leading into a parody of the Mobile Alabama leprechaun news report; the students watch the news report on Carawa based on the Mobile Alabama leprechaun report, which greatly entertains them, bringing the five of them together
  4. scene 4: the scene transitions to an old woman's house; she is watching the same news report and is absolutely horrified; she is a massive vaper and is quite addicted; muttering to herself that she's seen them before, she runs out back, vaping her lungs dry, and peeks over the fence into Ryori and Ledas' backyard, where Wilde, Ses, and Ame are chilling in the sun and sipping juice; she screams, pissing herself, and runs back inside
  5. scene 5: the students study the notes at Ryori and Ledas’ house and play video games; later, at night, Ledas trains in Super Saiyan 2 with Vegeta, wearing him out greatly
  6. scene 6: the next morning, Ms. Kairyupin is late to class, noting that she had lost her answer key for the ecology test, and being unable to find it, had instead used a different edition of the test with all different questions
2. The overall outline was followed fairly closely, though there are changes that need to be mentioned. The first scene was split in two for cinematography reasons. The plot was not changed, just divided to highlight the fire alarm going off. The fourth and fifth scenes were combined. I added two additional scenes focused around Jia and Usuba and the New Red Ribbon Army plot after the new report scene. Usuba hadn't appeared since chapter 2. We needed an update on his progress. This chapter was the best spot to put that, as there wasn't room in the previous one or the next one. The (original) fifth scene was changed to remove the part with the kids, only showing Ledas and Vegeta sparring. The final scene turned out pretty much exactly as it was outlined. Nothing drastic was altered aside from adding in the two NRRA scenes.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 5 are as follows:
1. 1/25/23: have Chiwan hug Ledas and he doesn't know what it is and freaks out and thinks it's an attack, asking Ryori if she's challenging him to a duel
2. 1/29/23: have ledas see the moon once when it is not full, and it makes him full body shiver, etc.
3. 1/30/23: the hug scene between Ledas and Chiwan will happen after they perform the midnight shenanigans at Ms. Kairyupin's house; just after they succeed she will hug him in pure euphoria and he doesn't know what that means and assumes she's sparring with him
4. 1/30/23: before they break into Kairyupin's house, Chiaki should say "but enough of this palaver, let's get the show on the road!", an opie and anthony reference (he obviously listens to them)
5. 4/24/23: the moonlit bandits chapter was split in half on this day, even though it had been known this would be coming for some weeks ---> ends with the Hachi/Chiaki storming of Miss Kairyupin's office in this version
6. 1/25/23: have a Saibaman scene where they are sunning in the backyard (in chairs with the mirrors) while an old woman, scared white, calls the cops and looks over the fence at them
7. 3/1/23: have a scene in ch5 that shows the interview of the janitor who saw Carawa (originally Ses as of 3/1), and have this be a parody of the Mobile Alabama leprechaun news segment; 3/14/23: combine this with the earlier idea of a neighbor freaking out over the Saibamen
8. 5/14/23: the soap opera that Kairyupin watches is a reference to "The Young and the Restless" 2022-23 season which is apparently their 50th anniversary
9. 5/15/23: Purin is a type of Japanese custard pudding; this was chosen for the semen symbolism
10. 5/16/23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlC1cIcWln8 ---> this is the Jerry Springer episode on during the third scene
My notes for the second draft of chapter 5 are as follows:
1. 1/4/24: have Ryori note that he's done the fire in the bag before with Shoekki, so he knows it's safe
2. 1/4/24: have a more thorough conversation between the kids after they fly out of the apartment
3. 1/4/24: expand the conversation about the Saibamen with the kids, adding a few more lines for various people
4. 1/4/24: add a scene with Usuba, Oscalpano, and Cardinal where they discuss Ledas and their previous encounters with him; Usuba notes that he is making progress on his invention to take out the boy while Oscalpano cautions him that the alien is far stronger than anyone can conceptualize; Usuba is unfazed, showing off additional hatred for the aliens as a motivating factor
5. 1/4/24: find the specific episode of someone filming Tien flying in the 22nd WMAT
6. 1/4/24: remove all specific mentions of youtube
7. 3/28/24: change how the two get on Ledas to fly out of Kairyupin's apartment; he should hover outside before they jump onto him, with Ryori going first and Chiwan going second, screaming as she slides out
8. 3/28/24: the one guy actually says "Imma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree"
9. 3/28/24: have Tabashi say "me neither" after Chiwan in the final scene
10. 4/21/24: the warrior's name is Ranmusei ---> a pun on boiled egg (museiran)
I began writing this chapter on April 26, 2023, although I didn't get very far into the first paragraph. I resumed writing on May 10^th, finishing on May 20^th. The two NRRA scenes were not a part of this draft. Slightly unusual was that I wrote several scenes out of order or concurrently. The news report scene and the scene of the kids watching people replace the window in Kairyupin's office were written back and forth, the latter being finished first, although the news report scene was halfway done by that point. The final scene and the sparring scene were also written at the same time, with the final scene being finished first. The sparring scene was thus the last thing I worked on during the first draft. I did minor editing throughout but did not do complete scene edits like I did with previous chapters at any point. I began the official second draft of April 19, 2024. On the 21^st, while continuing to edit the second draft, I added in the Usuba scene. I only added in the Jia scene right at the end, after getting through the fourth draft of the chapter on April 24^th. A few hours after completing that scene, I looked it over again, made sure it was as good as I wanted it to be, finalized it, and then posted the chapter to the wiki that same day.
Ryori in an orange hoodie is an evolution of his wardrobe that I did not foresee happening before writing this story. It's a color that would undoubtedly look good on him, but the vibrancy of it is a bit at odds with the mission they're on. Ledas wears his black hoodie throughout The Forgotten, so no surprises there. Chiwan in the dark green hoodie just made sense for her personality, in my opinion. Don't know exactly how to explain it. Dark green seems to fit her personality.
Kaffir leaves are incredibly fragrant and can be used in a variety of dishes. My local supermarket swears it sells them (as said so on its online store), but every time I go in and ask for them, they don't seem to know what I'm talking about. This ingredient would work well in the dish Kairyupin is making, as coincidental as that may be.
The doorman letting the kids into the elevator is a dereliction of duty. No doubt, he's been in this situation dozens of times before, likely once or twice a week at least, so it becomes a routine to just usher them up without screening because of the time sink otherwise. With that said, he shouldn't be doing this. He's paid to to do a job, not watch baseball. He can't complain. On top of that, the kids are all the same age, implying they're triplets. You'd think he'd have seen the triplets before if they lived there, let alone grow suspicious of them due to the fact none of them look like they're related. Stupid old codger.
The old doorman listens to Taitans games, which is the team Yamcha played on during Dragon Ball Z.
Chiwan is right to be worried about starting a fire. She doesn't know Ryori well, even if he promises he's done this before. With that said, the fact that Ryori is supposedly putting his life on the line for this should ease her mind, making her believe him. He's certainly not crazy from what she's observed, so he wouldn't go all suicidal like that for no reason. She should have nothing to fear.
There is a parallel between Hachi and Chiwan both doubting the mission. Hachi comes at it from a more fearful perspective, while Chiwan is more cautious. There's a subtle difference in characterization that shows while they're family, their upbringings influencing their modes of thinking, the way they tackle these situations is not the same. Chiwan's dominance is like a shark just beneath the surface whereas Hachi acts like a frightened bunny ready to bounce away at the first sign of something going wrong.
The conversation between the man and the woman in the first scene is a discussion Anthony Cumia said he and his girlfriend had once when they were in public. They're talking about cleaning their assholes. Personally, I side with Anthony's girlfriend. I get my finger in there and clean it all around. You gotta get it spotless as far as I'm concerned, but I'm a bottom, so I'm always hyper-aware of the cleanliness of that part of my body, and I don't think that's the case for many men. I wish it were, though. Just cuz I'm a bottom doesn't mean I don't wanna eat ass -_-.
I make yellow curry chicken with vegetables semi-frequently, which is why I put it in here. It's one of the most delicious meals ever, though the choice of vegetables can make or break it. Add spice! The hotter the better. I oftentimes have to make two batches, one for me laced with spices, and one for my family without. I wish everyone was a spiceboi or a spicegirl. It'd make life so much simpler.
Dicing vegetables is not as easy a skill to master as it looks. I don't fault Kairyupin whatsoever for her bandages. She's trying, kami help her.
Kairyupin being infatuated with a soap opera was meant to villainize her, for of course only dummies would like soap operas. Jokes aside, soap operas aren't bashed on enough. You never hear of anyone calling them stupid or vapid or dumb, etc. Such a shame. They're the Taylor Swift of daytime television.
One area I think I've improved in since the TF days is the use of varied camera angles to set up the scenes. Given that this is script format, the camera angles matter a lot. I don't want to praise myself too deeply, but I spent a lot of time coming up with shots, picturing the scenes in my head, and the part when everyone runs out of their apartments is written in a way that every time I re-read it, I can imagine it immediately and with little effort. This style will continue and hopefully improve further as I (as well as HZ and Taiko) write future sagas of HOTD.
Notice Chiwan orders Ryori and Ledas where to go. She's the alpha female. She's the leader of the pack.
Ryori snagging the panties is a reference to the panty raid in the Planet Earth Saga of The Forgotten, where Ledas' hazing involved sneaking into the girls' locker room to steal one of their panties. Now, what Ryori plans on doing with the panties is unclear. I myself do not know. Perhaps Ledas will wear them while he takes him from behind. Maybe. Nothing's set in stone or canon at this point. I'll admit this is one part of Ryori's personality that I don't have as good of grasp on as I should.
Chiwan is correct that it's terrible Ryori is stealing Kairyupin's expensive panties. That's low-class of him.
"Ms. Kairyupin’s gotta make tons of money. She’s a teacher, after all. She can replace it." - one of my favorite jokes in the saga. HZ made no comment about it, which means it probably cut deep.
"Definitely not my type. Not even close." - lines like this are useful in that they serve dual purposes. On the one hand, it's not uncommon for a kid to not find his teacher attractive. The age difference is a non-starter for many kids (while being a bonus for many others). But that's not what I'm getting at. Ryori never shies away from being disgusted by every act of female sexuality he encounters in this saga, implying he's gay. Never outright say it. It's an undercurrent in the saga. The spotlight is not often focused in this direction. When it is, I use vague wordings that imply he could just not be into that specific type of woman (for the most part). The only exception I can think of is when Ryori almost throws up after Chiwan shoves her crotch in his face after scoring a goal against him in a soccer match.
Methinks Chiwan is sexist for believing boys only have food on their mind.
I had forgotten about and like the tension created by Ledas sensing Kairypuin returning to her apartment yet not being able to tell Chiwan about that. At this point, he should've just done it. Would've saved loads of trouble. I get why it didn't happen. He's trying to help Ryori maintain the facade. Still, they're about to be caught. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've been in the room where an adult who wasn't related to me didn't know I was there and let loose, both asshole-wise and vocally, so I've always found this type of scenario funny because of that.
"Just so fucking great, isn’t it? Just so fucking great! Tonight of all nights. It’s like the universe is out to fucking get me. It’s one motherfucking thing after another. Auuughh! And the cherry on top—the motherfucking dollop of whipped shit cream on top—is that I missed the end to The Youthful and the Anxious during the goddamn 50th-anniversary mid-season pre-finale. Fuck!" - sometimes reality sucks. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned. I've been there. The rage boils to the top, and yet from then on, it cools. As much as I don't like Kairyupin (I'm on Ledas' side, naturally), she's not wrong to vent here. It's certainly not how she'd act if she knew the kids were there. We get a genuine look into her psyche here. Gotta say, it inadvertently made me respect her more. Adulting is hard, especially when disparate stress factors compound.
I tried to take Chiwan's POV during the bathroom scene because Ledas' ability to fly comes out of nowhere from her perspective. It's like she's in a dream. There's no way this can be real life. If it had been up to Ryori, Ledas would've never shown her he could fly. But circumstances change, and as a consequence of breaking into the apartment, the boys' secret is now out in the open. I didn't want her to entertain the idea at all until Ledas shows her. Once he does, she can't pretend he's faking. It's cut-and-dry. This also leads Ryori to come up with the idea to show her and the other kids footage from the previous World Martial Arts Tournaments where several contestants flew to continue hiding Ledas' status as an alien. The lie shifts to him just being a skilled martial artist, which Chiaki can also back up.
For as big of a fan of the WMAT as Ryori is, he makes a big mistake thinking the Turtle School taught flight. With that said, Krillin and Goku do jump around a lot, giving the appearance of flight sometimes, so I can see how he'd get mixed up. Just a little joke to lighten up the tension.
Ryori starts calling Ledas "Leeds" in the second scene. He'll continue using this endearing nickname for the rest of HOTD, and it'll appear in other stories too. This is somewhat based on the soccer team Leeds United and the famous chant "We all hate Leeds scum", which I'm sure Ryori would change to "We all ate Leeds' cum" in private. Never had a chance to show that, even in a deleted scene, but it was always on my mind. Maybe someday there'll be a spot for it. It's a really great joke (just beautiful) I'm super proud of. I want to hang it on the fridge.
It must've been scary for Ryori to jump out the window into Ledas' arms, as much as he trusted him. This is still real life. His instincts would kick in. Even so, his trust in Ledas overruled everything else, showing just how much faith he has in the Saiyan. I think it's an underrated moment of loyalty and friendship.
Ledas shivers and recoils slightly when Chiwan touches him. He does not do so when Ryori does. Ledas' comfort level with Ryori is a lot higher than with anyone else, and for good reason, but this is a moment where we can see specifically that while he doesn't particularly like touching other people, he had no problem with Ryori jumping on his back, not even thinking twice about it, while having a different reaction to Chiwan. This is not because she's a girl, but because she's someone he's not super close to, even if he'd describe her as a friend.
Chiwan was incredibly courageous to jump out of that window. She only took a couple of moments to work up to it, too. I'm proud of her for that. Showed a lot of quality in that moment.
There's unstated symbolism going on with the nearly-full moon that Ledas looks at. He shivers because of the blutz waves he feels coursing through his veins—not enough to make him transform, but enough to make him feel something. In terms of what this moment represents, the moon isn't full yet, but it ties into his primal Saiyan nature, a big glowing reminder of what he is. Perhaps this is in reference to his budding relationship with Ryori which will begin later in this chapter. I don't know, I'm not the expert here, just speculatin'.
I had a lot of fun with Ledas not understanding what a hug is. I'm sure that in Saiyan culture, they hugged each other albeit infrequently. I don't expect Ledas' parents really ever hugged him, or if they did, he simply did not remember. It made for a great joke that he thought Chiwan wanted to spar with him. But at the same time, it's sad that he never received any physical affection in his life. This type of joke hits at the tone I've gone for in the story in a massive way. It's one of my favorite moments in the whole saga.
Chiwan's reaction to Ledas flying was greatly expanded during the second draft and beyond. Didn't have enough of a reaction in the first draft. Reading it back now, it's a lot better in the final version. Now she knows Ledas' skills and will no doubt become a closer friend to the boys moving forward in the same way Chiaki did after witnessing the fight against Master Kamome in the previous chapter.
I have no clue what Kairyupin thought happened to her window. Maybe she thought a piece fell out? But then where's the shattered glass? She was probably too busy to care, but if she had thought about it at all, she's realize something wasn't right.
Gotta give Tabashi credit for hanging out with the other kids while not cheating on the ecology test. He showed off his quality as well. Takes a lot of restraint to not get in on the scam at that point, although they may not have allowed him to. Still, by hanging out with the others, he's indicating he doesn't have a problem with what they're doing, just isn't able to partake in case they get found out. He will not go to military school no matter what.
I consider the Alabama leprechaun story to be one of the top 10 youtube videos of all time. Had to parody it here. This was always in the cards when I decided to the West City Saga.
To be fair, the Saibamen sort of look like leprechauns from far off. It's just the fact that they're all red that makes no sense. The level of trolling going on from the janitor and his posse is a big mystery. Do they actually believe what they're saying? I've no idea. Could go either way.
I've always wondered how poppers make you feel. I don't think I'd ever try them, though, because knowing my addictive personality, it'd likely ruin sex/masturbation for me. I love the story about JFK trying to give his intern Mimi Beardsley poppers. What a sex hound that guy was. I heard his cock went back and to the left.
Credit where credit is due. Chiwan sussed out those fakers.
The old woman first appears in the fourth scene. She's a lolcow of my own creation. When I was writing the first draft of this story, I wasn't vaping, but I was by the second draft. Maybe she influenced me. In any case, the way her house looks is based on my father, who is also a hoarder, although he doesn't vape. Her personality is not based on anyone in particular. She's not like my father at all. I oftentimes create characters using archetypes or templates from people I know or characters in media, and this is one of those instances where neither is the case. Dunno why that is, just how it happened.
The implication of the fat old vaper's subplot is that she's going to expose the Saibamen at some point, leading to a sticky situation for Ledas and the gang. Whether or not that occurs, we'll have to see. That's her intent, though.
Hachi shows his gullible nature believing the janitor and his posse. With that said, Hachi isn't entirely wrong here, but he's woefully inept at interpreting it. They did see something, yes, but turning that into a leprechaun hunt is ludicrous, trolling at its best, and the fact he doesn't recognize it speaks volumes about his perception. His sister trolls him for this very reason.
I loved developing Ryori's passion for the World Martial Arts Tournaments. This is something that I wouldn't have come up with had it not developed organically through the text. It makes sense now why he's so eager to bed Ledas. He always had a thing for martial artists, it seems.
Ledas sleeping at the moment they were praising him was critical. I don't like receiving praise. It's awkward and I never know what to say. I'm sure Ledas is similar, especially when it comes to kids who have no idea about martial arts thinking he's some god. Best for him to sleep at that moment. Not that it's out of character, either. He's worn out. Super Saiyan 2 has been draining his stamina during the past two chapters, so it fit.
The kids face faulting was one of the most anime-tropey things I've ever written.
Jia putting a stop to the old woman's shenanigans shows that she's in the thick of things now. She's clearly tethered to Ryori and Ledas and is doing all she can to help them escape the spotlight through whatever means necessary.
Jia feels guilt over poisoning Ledas. Lucky for her it didn't lead to more serious consequences. With that said, she's not wrong in her assessment. The poison doesn't work and if anyone else had tasted Ledas' soup, the NRRA would be in big trouble. Their game would've been revealed. She's playing both sides though she's trying her best to protect the boys now. She wants to protect Ryori and the others by eliminating the poison stuff, not knowing exactly what Usuba is doing. She just hopes that whatever he's up to will either eliminate Ledas cleanly or fail spectacularly, leading to his swift demise.
Didn't go out of my way to explain what was happening in the Usuba scene. Context clues, deep reading, etc., needs to be used. In any case, Oscalpano and Cardinal show appropriate restraint regarding the Kiseibachi's power. They don't know Ledas' power level but feel it's much higher than what Usuba has generated. Killing some random guy who was at a WMAT is pretty meaningless. They need more. They're correct. But they don't realize how much more power is required to damage him. They think it's like 100x when it's more like 1000000000x. This disparity will lead to their ruin.
Ledas has tremendous determination. His will is steadfast. He knows he's inferior to Vegeta, has been dealing with all the shit going on at school, and still he finds the strength to spar with Vegeta, to try his best knowing he's going to get rocked regardless. This is true strength. He wants to better himself. Fuck ego, fuck self-perception. Just gotta get better. In this way, Ledas is an idealized version of myself, for I wish I had the strength he does to do what needs to be done. Trying his hardest even as his hair flickers in and out of Super Saiyan shows Ledas' determination. He's not the kind of person to back down, not the kind of guy to give in easily. He's doing the best he can at his power level. It's not enough. Never has been. He knows that feeling. Tries in spite of it. That's true courage.
I began working on the second deleted scene on April 8, 2023. The writing continued on April 11^th, 12^th, and 17^th. I also edited a little bit on May 1^st, June 7^th, June 8^th, July 23^rd, and August 30^th, finishing the scene on that day. From what I remember, I wrote sporadically, only doing so when horny and stopping because I ended up fapping to the scene a bunch (as one would imagine). It was the second deleted scene first drafted. I final drafted it on April 24, 2024. It was the first deleted scene to be finalized. This is one of three deleted scenes written on my original deleted scenes page (where all of them were together).
The second deleted scene occurs before the eighth scene of chapter 5. This is one of the most significant deleted scenes. It marks the beginning of Ledas and Ryori's relationship. They aren't dating at this point, just having fun together. The scene starts with swordfighting and then goes into some oral stuff. Afterwards, they agree to continue doing this every day, in a competitive way. A good scene, to be sure, one that I use as reading material whenever I'm feeling frisky. Not gonna lie, I rubbed one out to this scene while doing this antho. One important aspect of this story while writing it was coming to terms with who I am. I'm a bisexual, one of those who's into both men and women, and like the romantic stuff far more than I thought I would. The romanticism of the relationships gets to me more than the physical acts. The physical stuff is good too, but this is definitely not the peak of the Ledas/Ryori relationship. Scene 4 looms. That's where the good stuff is.
Deleted scene #2 is a swordfighting scene. This is something I've always loved. There is of course a BJ to finish it off, but the swordfighting aspect hits me hard. I love that shit. In this scene, the boys' measurements are detailed explicitly. This is very important. I need to be with a guy who's at least as big as me or bigger, as such is the case with Ledas and Ryori. Size matters. Don't let anyone tell you differently. For me, it does.
It was a running rumor throughout my time at college that if a teacher arrived 15 minutes late you could leave class and receive no penalty. Dunno if that ever was actually the case. I never did. Several teachers arrived very late (like 10 minutes into the period), but we never left. I don't know if it was a thing that we could leave or not, but I do know about the supposed 15 minute rule. Regardless, I was there to learn, not to skate by, so I never left.
Ippi's prominent role in the final scene of chapter 5 speaks a lot to her personality. She doesn't want to be there. She has other interests. Doesn't want to put up with any bullshit. She'd prefer not to learn anything so long as the 15 minute timer was reached and she has the right to disengage. It's not about learning for her. She wants, more than anything, to spend her time as she wishes.
Chiwn and Chiaki serve as the voice of reason in the eighth scene. Perhaps they're emotionally compatible. Whod' have thought that possible?
The ecology test scam was always going to fail. No two ways about it. I'll say I'm happy with how things turned out. This is how I wanted it. That sucks. Must burn. Oh well; life goes on.
I've had teachers who are late all the time and come rushing in at the last second covered in sweat, as if they'd just sprinted across campus to get there. Not the most professional thing in the world, but some people aren't good at being on time regardless of their job.
Really liked this chapter. One thing I didn't really think about in the moment but seems obvious now on reflection is how most of the chapters are self-contained stories that also offer build-up towards future plotlines. We've had the class prep episode, the vegan episode, the SS2/hair dye episode, the Kamome/scam part 1 episode, and now the scam part 2 episode. Very much enjoy how this turned out. I suppose it makes sense that the writing went like this, it's just something I hadn't thought about until now. The apartment scenes were my favorite part. Ryori got to show off his skills, Chiwan was given unique characterization, especially after learning Ledas can fly. Lots of comedy in this one. Since I write mainly for myself, as long as I'm making myself laugh, I'm good. On top of that, this chapter contains the second deleted scene, which is a real good one, one I re-read every now and then when I'm horny. Overall, a very strong episode.

6. The Guac

<10:47 A.M.>

Azashi: So what do you think? I made it myself this morning before school.

Ippi: Even the dough?

Azashi: Of course. That’s the first step of learning how to truly make a great pie. My parents got me a pizza oven for my birthday two years ago. I’ve been putting it to lots of use ever since.

Hachi: This is really good. I don’t know how anyone could think pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza. It mixes well with the cheese and ham.

Tabashi: It’s not traditional. That’s what people have a problem with. Fruit on a pizza sounds weird, but <HE TAKES A SHARK-LIKE BITE, DEVOURING HALF HIS SLICE> I agree, it definitely works.

Ippi: The pineapple’s better than I expected. After listening to the debates on TikTok, I thought it’d taste horrible, like anchovies. I don’t know what the fuss is about, though. I’d prefer a vegetarian, but I’m not complaining.

Chiwan: It’s alright, but pepperoni and jalapeños are way better.

Ledas: This is one of the best meals I’ve ever had. You people know how to cook.

Chiwan: What do you mean by ‘you people’?

Ledas: Oh, um, city people. Yeah. Never knew you had so much cooking knowledge.

Ryori: Azashi’s the only one here who knows how to cook anything fancy.

Ledas: But he’s excellent. I could eat a hundred slices of this.

Ryori: I wouldn’t doubt it. We’d need an army of Azashis to keep you satisfied.

<ZOOMED-IN SHOT FROM ANOTHER TABLE AS THE SEVENTH GRADERS CONTINUE THEIR CONVERSATION, LEDAS PIGGING OUT; FOR THIS BRIEF MOMENT, HE DOESN’T APPEAR WOUNDED, OR AT LEAST HIS MIND IS ON OTHER THINGS>

Azashi: You’re coming to the party, right? I don’t want to make too much food.

Ledas: <IN A VERY GOOD MOOD, THOUGH HE’S RUBBING HIS LEG> Where there’s the promise of dinner, you can find me. You’ve already won me over, dude. But, uh, I gotta do something first. Be right back.

Ryori: <UNDER HIS BREATH> Show-off.

Hachi: I can’t believe that’s a thing.

Chiwan: We were just turned into candy by a pink blobby monstrous demon and his muppet-looking sidekick, and you think this is weird?

Chiaki: Yeah. The world’s a fucked up place.

Azashi: <LAUGHING AWKWARDLY> Prodigies exist. Come over my house this evening to see more proof.

Chiwan: Why, do you have a brother or sister?

Azashi: Hey, don’t disrespect my talent. I’m a goddamn legend.

Chiwan: In your own mind.

<2:21 P.M.>

Yajirobe: <SLIGHTLY OUT OF KEY> So you tell me that there’s nothing left to say!

Korin: <SINGING WITH LESS VIGOR; HIS VOICE IS BETTER THAN YAJIROBE’S> I drive, you face the window, then you’re in my face!

Yajirobe: Telling me to grow up! I wish you’d grow up!

Korin: I can’t wait until you fall asleep, I wonder if you know that…

Ledas: <SINGING WITH SUPREME MEDIOCRITY> You’re a bitch, but I love you anyway!

Yajirobe: <STARTLED> Ledas? What are you doing here? Don't you know it's rude to sneak up on a samurai?

Ledas: <CHEEKILY> Aw, I saw an opening and took it. Couldn’t resist.

Yajirobe: <GIVING THE BOY A LOOK OF GREEDY ANTICIPATION> Did you bring the goods?

Ledas: Yeah, an extra large Hawaiian for you, and anchovies and watermelon for you, Mr. Korin sir.

Korin: My favorite. Thanks, kid.

Ledas: Any senzu beans around?

Korin: <DEVOURING HIS PIZZA WITH SUCH INTENSITY THAT HE GETS CHEESE ALL OVER HIS NECK FUR> Sure. There should be four left.

Ledas: No, only two.

Korin: You snuck two of them? I gave you one three days ago as a consolation prize for coming in second place in the Great Korin Karaoke Championships of 774.

Yajirobe: Hey man, it’s not my fault. When the belly rumbles, I’ll take whatever I can get. Don’t question the bean daddy.

Korin: I apologize for <HE KICKS HIM IN THE RIBS> Yajirobe’s ravenous nature.

Ledas: It’s no problem. Two’s good for now. <HE PLUCKS ONE AND TOSSES IT IN HIS MOUTH; A MOMENT LATER, THE RELIEF PALPABLY FALLS OVER HIS BODY; HE POCKETS THE OTHER> Err, how long do you think it’ll take for more to grow? With how intense my training with Vegeta’s been going, I may need more.

Korin: Not how the beans work, I’m afraid. It’s going to be a while before the next batch is ready. Maybe a few weeks. We’ll see.

Ledas: Alright, I’ll try to be more careful.

Korin: <THRUSTS OUT A PAW IMPEROUSLY> Wait, stop. I need your help with something before you leave.

Ledas: <ENTHUSIASTICALLY> Sure, I’m game.

Korin: Listen to us sing “The Great Pretender”, and tell us who does it better. <HIS EYES NARROW AS HE LOOKS DOWN AT YAJIROBE AND GIVES HIM A SOFT KICK IN THE RIBS> We can’t decide between ourselves.

Yajirobe: Whatever, man. I’m a way better singer than you. It’s no contest. <HE SWITCHES KARAOKE MACHINE TO THE CORRECT SONG; CLEARING HIS THROAT, HE READIES HIMSELF AS THE INSTRUMENTAL BEGINS; HIS VOICE RISES DRAMATICALLY AS HE SINGS> Oh yes, I’m the great pretender, pretending I’m doing well! My need is such that I pretend too much! I’m lonely, but no one can tell!

Ledas: <SURPRISED PIKACHU FACE> …

<5:38 P.M.>

<AZASHI’S HOUSE, EASTERN WEST CITY>

Anraku: It’ll cost you, but yeah I can get you in. You looking for a private booth or what?

Ryori: That and a supply from the club. We have the money for it.

Anraku: There’s a door in the back of the building that’s unguarded. Nobody goes in through there, although the kitchen staff dump their trash outside. That’s your ticket in, but you’ll have to go fast to not raise suspicions.

Ryori: Will anybody throw us out?

Anraku: Nah, nobody in the kitchens would care. If a bouncer saw you in the bar though, shit could hit the fan. Don’t be seen, and you’ll be good. Stay in your booth. I’ll keep you happy.

Chiaki: That place is a strip joint, isn’t it?

Anraku: Yeah, why?

Chiaki: My dad goes there sometimes after work. He’s a lawyer. Keeps odd hours, you know. All’s I’m saying is we may have a glass or two with your bar’s name on it in our cupboard.

Anraku: The room’ll be open from nine to ten tomorrow night. That’s your window.

Ryori: We’ll be there.

Anraku: I mean, whatever. If you’re caught, you’re on your own. Don’t expect me to help.

Ryori: And none of that watered-down beer. I want the deluxe package with all the fixin’s, like my brother used to get. Homegrown herb and all.

Anraku: <RAISING AN EYEBROW> I don’t know about that. You’re just kids.

Ryori: What are you, a pussy? I know your club sells that stuff. Shoekki went there super often. He told me your club was the best. Well, are ya?

Anraku: <SURPRISE SETTLING INTO DISINTEREST> Fine. If you want to experiment with alcohol and weed at the same time in a public place, be my guest, but you’ll get thrown out if you don’t vomit all over the room first.

Chiaki: Sounds like fun.

Ryori: We’re just gonna try a little. Nobody’s getting wasted.

Anraku: Yeah right. That’s what they always say.

<6:28 A.M.>

Ledas: Why do we have to go so early? Having to wake up at this hour is beyond cruel.

Bulma: Quit whining, kid. The faster we leave, the faster we’ll get back. Well, are you ready to go? <SHE HOLDS UP WHAT APPEARS TO BE A USB DRIVE> I have the coordinates. Vegeta went to the planet not long after the battle against Frieza. He was looking for Goku, you see. With your newer model 14, we can get there a lot faster. Fifteen hours by my calculations.

Ledas: Right, Kakarot. I remember him. Alright, let’s do this.

Bulma: Aren’t you bringing anything?

Ledas: Eh, there’s food on the ship.

Bulma: Now then… <SHE PLACES THE DEVICE THAT LOOKS SIMILAR TO A USB DRIVE IN THE CONSOLE, TRANSFERRING THE DATA; A HOLOGRAPHIC FIGURE OF A MAN WITH SPIKY YELLOWISH-ORANGE HAIR IN CAPSULE CORP. ATTIRE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN> that’s better.

Theodosius: Greetings. My name is Theodosius. I am an onboard Artificial Intelligence built to pilot Capsule Corp. spaceships. To activate, please enter the access code now.

Bulma: <SHAKING HER HEAD> Oh Daddy, you’re so old-school.

Theodosius: Good morning, Bulma. Am I reading these coordinates correctly? The planet you seek is far outside the solar system.

Bulma: That’s right. Can you take us there?

Theodosius: Certainly. By my calculations, the ship’s fuel reserves are more than enough to get you there and back again.

Bulma: Then you better speed up.

Theodosius: Strap in.

<8:57 P.M.>

Ryori: He’s still not answering.

Tabashi: <SHUFFLING HIS FEET, EYEING THE PEOPLE STROLLING AROUND HIM> You’re sure we won’t get caught, Ryo?

Ryori: Dude, the room’s ours. Everything’s already been paid for.

Chiaki: Yo, we good to go?

Ryori: Ledas hasn’t answered a text all day. I don’t know where he is.

Chiaki: Maybe he went back to Vegetaland.

Ryori: Maybe. I don’t know. What should we do?

Azashi: If he’s not here, tough shit. The room’s only rented for an hour. We’re burning time.

Tabashi: Yeah, let’s go. I’m having me a beer tonight.

Azashi: No, no, like this.

Ryori: Shit, that’s awful! Are you sure it hasn’t gone bad?

Azashi: <LAUGHING AT HIM BEFORE TAKING A SIP FROM HIS BEER UNFLINCHINGLY> It’s fine, I swear. You’ll get used to it.

Ryori: Oh kami, I can’t believe it. Like, that’s insane. Adults drink this garbage for fun?

Azashi: I mean it’s more about how it makes you feel, but loads of people like the taste. It’s used a lot in cooking, too. Ever heard of beer-battered fish and chips?

Ryori: Hey now, I ain’t no bloody lobsterback, ya hear me?

Bulma: This place gives me the creeps. I’m getting a bad feeling.

Ledas: Relax, there’s no one around. I’d sense if there were. Besides, when Vegeta came here all those years back, wasn’t it deserted? But I guess you never know with space pirates. They’re like space rats—you’re always likely to find them in the most rundown, disgusting places. A lot of them are Joleans, you know. They can suppress their power.

Bulma: Hey kid, shut up! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?

<9:26 P.M.>

Tabashi: Y’know, this stuff ain’t bad, really. <HE TAKES ANOTHER DEEP GULP BEFORE BURPING> Oh yeah, I can see why my uncle drinks like ten of these a day.

Chiaki: Damn, that’s a helluva lot of liquid.

Ryori: I don’t know, it’s so bitter and foamy.

Azashi: If you’re gonna spew, don’t get any on me.

Tabashi: This is an absolute banger. Who doesn’t love Nicki Minaj?

Azashi: Nah, I’ll tell you a real banger—bangers and mash. Classy comfort food, that. A proper pair of savory Cumberland sausages laid over a bed of mashed potatoes, fried onions, and peas from a tin, swimming in a pool of onion gravy. Add a touch of parsley and you’re good to go. Now tell me that isn’t the most mouthwatering treat you’ve ever heard of.

Ryori: <GLANCING TO CHIAKI, WHO’S BACK TO MESSING ABOUT WITH HIS FINGERS> Told ya he’s a limey.

Tabashi: Wow, unreal. Oh my gosh. <AFTER FINISHING HIS FIFTH BEER, HE THROWS IT ASIDE AND RUNS AROUND THE ROOM, SWINGING HIS SHIRT OVER HIS HEAD> This is amazing! I feel incredible! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can win! I feel great! I can do this!

Chiaki: <EXHALING ANOTHER HIT, THIS TIME NOT COUGHING SO MUCH> What do you guys think? Should I do it? I think I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna text her.

Azashi: Who?

Chiaki: <A LITTLE UNWILLINGLY> Chiwan.

Ryori: Oh boy. She’s a feisty one. I hope you know what you’re getting into.

Chiaki: Yeah, um, I kinda like that.

Azashi: You’re only feeling confident cuz you’re drunk. Whatever you send her, you’re going to cringe about it tomorrow.

Chiaki: Speaking from experience? <AZASHI SHRUGS, GRINNING SHEEPISHLY> She’s hot though, don’t you think?

Azashi: Got a nice rack on her—early bloomer. I’d hit that.

Ryori: <WITH A LOOK OF DISGUST> Ew, no. No way. She’s so not my type.

Chiaki: Hater! You’re just a stupid hater. I wanna suck on those titties.

Azashi: Damn, you’re really drunk. But yeah, she’s got great tits. Huge rack. I’d suck ‘em. Yeah, I admit it. I’d suck ‘em.

Tabashi: <BREATHING HARD AS HE SITS BACK DOWN; WIPING SWEAT OFF HIS FACE WITH HIS SHIRT> She’s smokin’. You gotta shoot your shot, dude.

Chiaki: Think I should tell her?

Azashi: Never had a girlfriend before? That’s a surefire way to make her throw something at you before storming off and never speaking to you again.

Chiaki: Okay, then how should I go about it?

Tabashi: Gimme your phone, I’ll do it.

Chiaki: <RELUCTANTLY HANDS IT OVER> C’mon, tell me what you’re going to text.

Tabashi: Chill, I know what I’m doing. Any of you ever had a girlfriend before? <THEY SHAKE THEIR HEADS> Well, I have. Three, in fact. Yeah, boy! I know what the ladies like.

Azashi: Let me guess, you broke up with them, not the other way around.

Tabashi: <FURIOUSLY TYPING AWAY> Well, yeah. A playa’s gotta keep his options open.

Azashi: <ROLLING HIS EYES> Oh yeah, I like this plan.

Chiaki: <READING WHAT TABASHI HAD WRITTEN> Oh kami, you did not just tell her I have a huge—

Stripper: Oh lawdy, them’s chil’run in dere! I ain’t about to dance for no chil’run!

Chiaki: Is she gonna…

Azashi: <JUMPING UP, CLEARLY BECOMING MORE LUCID> Oh shit, we’ve gotta get out of here.

Tabashi: <LOOKING BEHIND HIM, WIPING HIS MOUTH; HE HAS LEFT A BIG MESS ON THE FLOOR> Is she goin’ to get someone?

Azashi: Could be. Let’s not chance it. Are you good? Can you—

Tabashi: <VOMITS ANOTHER BREATH OF LIQUID> Whass happen’nin’?

Chiaki: <HELPING TABASHI UP> On your feet, dude. We gotta skedaddle.

Anraku: <UNDER HIS BREATH> Who’s the pussy now? Run, fucker.

Azashi: Real great, Ani. Thanks for that.

Anraku: He ordered everything his brother used to. Shoekki used to buy lap dances. I looked it up in the database. Not my problem if he didn’t know that.

Azashi: You didn’t send the bouncers after them, did you?

Ryori: <LOOKING UP AT THE BEFUDDLED MUSTACHED MAN; ANXIOUS, YET PISSED OFF> Oh fuck me to the moon.

Bulma: <WHISPERING> What was that?

Ledas: Dunno, not getting any energy readings.

Bulma: Just my luck! I visit one alien world and find it infested with monsters! What’s a girl got to do to—

Bulma: Whew, thanks kid. I almost bit the big one.

Ledas: You’re fine. They were just space rats. They wouldn’t have hurt you…unless they were starving. <HE GIGGLES>

Bulma: Shut it. You think this is a big joke? I could’ve died.

Ledas: Vegeta wouldn’t have forgiven me for a couple weeks if I’d let that happen.

Bulma: Real funny. Let’s go.

Bulma: <WITH A FURIOUS LOOK; WIPING HERSELF OFF WITH A CLOTH FROM HER POCKET> Don’t. You. Dare.

Ledas: Sick, I never knew their whole head was boned. I always thought the part in the back was an air sac.

Bulma: Ugh, get that thing out of my face. It’s disgusting. Eugh! Get it away from me!

Ledas: You look a little stressed.

Bulma: Excuuuse me, I’m lost on an unknown distant planet deep in enemy territory and—

Ledas: Yeah yeah yeah, chill with the drama. Look. <HE WALKS INTO THE ROOM, DROPPING THE SKULL, LEAVING HER TO RANT IN THE HALLWAY> It’s the med-bay.

Bulma: Whoa, look at this place. It’s all retro-futuristic. Now the question is if this stuff is still operational. Do you know how to run it?

Ledas: Are you kidding me? When I was a slave on Planet Cooler 92, the rejuvenation tank was my guardian angel. The only times I ever felt safe were when I was in there. I’ve probably used one of these babies hundreds of times. Same model, same configuration.

Bulma: Being a slave must have been horrible. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Ledas: It wasn’t a fun time, but it made me grow stronger, just like Vegeta. Don’t think I would’ve gotten anywhere near my current level without the soldiers I learned from, sharpening my reflexes against. <HE RUNS HIS HAND OVER THE COMPUTER, AND IT COMES ON, LIGHTING UP THE ROOM> Look at that, it’s still in working order. The craftsmanship on these things is unreal.

Bulma: My dad would get a kick out of this were he here. I hope everything’s recording properly. <SHE TAKES OUT A LITTLE BLACK DEVICE FROM HER SUIT, USING IT TO SCAN A TANK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM> Look at all these tubes. What a wild construction.

<10:25 P.M.>

Big Ed: So, um, how do you say kiss in Tagalog?

Golddigging Whore #3: Halik.

Big Ed: Halik? Okay. May I halik you?

Police officer: This belong to you, ma’am?

Jia: Ryori, where have you been?

Ryori: Just hanging out with friends. It’s no biggie.

Police officer: Oho, they were doing a lot more than ‘hanging out’. The whole pack of ‘em had snuck into a bar and were stealing beers. He’s drunk, as you can see. I’m going to have to charge him with misdemeanor minor in possession.

Jia: <PRESSING TWO FINGERS TO THE BRIDGE OF HER NOSE; SHE TAKES A CARD OUT OF HER WALLET, HANDING IT TO THE MAN> Thank you for bringing him back. As you can see, I’m fostering Ryori under the orders of King Furry. If there’s anything we can do to make this go away, I’d greatly appreciate it. With this being his first offense and all, the king would be most grateful if you looked the other way.

Police officer: <LOOKING OVER THE CARD; BRISTLING> The king, you say? Well, in that case, I guess I can let him off with a warning. But if I catch him doing anything like this again, I’ll have to take him in.

Jia: Oh thank you, Officer Hanrulo. What a relief. Thank you very much. If you’re ever looking for a promotion, call me. I’ll put in a good word for you with the King’s Men.

Police officer: Uh, thanks, Miss, but really, it’s no problem. You have a good night now.

Jia: You too. Goodnight. <SHE CLOSES THE DOOR, TURNING TO RYORI WITH A DREADFUL LOOK> Explain yourself, mister.

Ryori: <GROANING, RUBBING HIS HEAD> I think I need to lie down. I don’t feel so good.

Jia: <SIGHING> Fine, get off to bed. We’ll talk in the morning. I can’t believe you were so reckless. Think about what could’ve happened tonight had I not been here.

Ryori: <LOOKING AWAY IN SHAME; HANDS IN HIS POCKETS> Yeah, yeah, I know. Really, you didn’t have to stick your neck out for me. But thanks for that. Ledas was right. You’re a nice lady.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references the bar/strip joint Ryori, Azashi, Tabashi, and Chiaki sneak into. Pretty basic title by West City Saga standards.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 6: The Guac
  1. scene 1: Friday, after school, Ledas once again helps Bulma with her project, and she finally reveals that she's making a new rejuvenation tank due to the unreliability of senzu beans; she probes Ledas for questions about how the device in Frieza's empire worked
  2. scene 2: Friday, in the late afternoon to early evening at Azashi's house, the eight seventh-graders enjoy a nice dinner; Ryori meets with Azashi's brother, who gets the boys access to The Guac, a bar/club located in the heart of West City
  3. scene 3: Ryori, Ledas, Chiaki, and Azashi go to the Guac at night on the weekend (likely Saturday); once inside, they are ushered into a titty bar, leading to an awkward scenario, when all they had really wanted was to try some beer
  4. scene 4: outside, on the street, the boys are chased away (Azashi is not with them) by a police officer; they escape with flight, causing Chiaki to confront Ledas about what he is as they are on top of a building overlooking the city at night
  5. scene 5: scene of Jia, Ledas, and Ryori hanging out on Sunday afternoon and having a good time watching TV and commentating on it while also playing either a board game or a card game, with Jia becoming more endeared to them, questioning her loyalty to Cardinal
  6. scene 6: Monday morning, Jia is on the phone with Cardinal; she makes breakfast for the boys, and then they leave for school; they are late, so Ledas flies them there and has to comb Ryori's hair after they land
  7. scene 7: after the boys leave, Jia interacts with the Saibamen before receiving a message from Cardinal that he is ready for the genetic samples of Ledas; she plucks some blond hairs from the shower drain
2. This is the first chapter where the outline is markedly different from what I actually wrote. I didn't end up writing the first scene, instead making that a scene with the students bonding and Azashi showing off his cooking skills. The second scene in the final draft is a scene at Korin Tower. This wasn't in the outline at all. I added that in so that Ledas would have some senzu beans on hand. Plus, it's always fun to have Korin and Yajirobe around. I love writing for them. The side plot where Ledas and Bulma visit a Frieza outpost was not in this outline. There are three scenes of that plotline in this chapter. I guess I came up with that plot after outlining the chapter. Ledas originally went to the bar with the others. Didn't end up happening, of course, which I think is for the better. The scene where the boys flee the bar goes a lot differently without Ledas there. They get caught, changing the plot massively. The fifth scene of the outline wasn't put into the chapter, although an aspect of this is featured in a later chapter (I believe chapter 12, but I could be misremembering). Scenes 6 and 7 of the outline were combined into the second scene of chapter 7. So yeah, overall, this chapter's outline is barely accurate to what actually happened. Not super typical but also not surprising. I got an idea while writing (Ledas and Bulma's trip) that radically changed up the chapter and thus made the outline almost useless.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 6 are as follows:
1. 5/23/23: although this happened a few days ago, good to note now: the original outline for ch6 did not feature the opening two scenes with Ledas flying away in front of the other students, then the Korin/Yajirobe/Ledas scene, but after they were added in, I decided to potentially have the overview effect plot happen in this chapter; 6/4/23 update: scene 4 (Bulma/Ledas/Theo scene) is not in the outline either, so 3/4 of the opening scenes were not originally intended
2. 3/13/23: have a scene at some point in one of the chapters where Ledas goes to see Korin and Yajirobe and hangs out with them
3. 2/10/23: bulma plotline in this saga ---> developing the rejuvenation tank seen in the "Future" Trunks Saga of DBS, which Goku uses to heal; she is basing the designs on what Vegeta told her; she tells Ledas about this in ch5 (the one after the panty raid at Ms. Kairyupin's), and he gives her some info about the rejuvenation tank too; she finishes constructing it at some point and Ledas uses it the day after going to school in a variety of casts, mentioned in an above point; she is also developing a smaller companion model to the clean-bot that can clean other things
4. 5/20/23: while at Azashi's house, when Ryori meets with his older brother, have it be near sunset, like the aesthetics used in DBZ e288; they should have a view over the ocean
5. 5/30/23: consider having John Taffer come to the Guac while the kids go there and he reams the staff on their disgusting behavior in one brief scene
6. 6/7/23: have chiaki mention a song is a banger, causing azashi to bring up how good bangers and mash is, much to the rest of their disgust
7. 5/2/23: when Ledas/Azashi/Ryori go to the Guac, have Master Kamome be in the strip club, and have a short scene of him saving a young girl from two guys who are being assholes to her ---> UNUSED BECAUSE THE KIDS WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BE SEEN WITHOUT ALERTING THE BOUNCERS IMMEDIATELY
8. 5/20/23: have Ledas take Bulma to PC92, where she inspects a rejuvenation tank; when they return from their little jaunt, Ryori and some other students notice that Ledas has a space ship and want to go on it, leading into the Overview Effect scene (which may or may not take place in the same chapter)
9. 5/23/23: have Ledas go on the trip with Bulma to a nearby system where a rejuvenation tank is; this could also be the cover of the saga, with her shining a flashlight on a dead appule-type and ledas in the background, hands in his hoodie's pockets, leaning back slightly, his tail out, laughing at her (a bit of a reference to Goku trolling her with a skull in the General Blue Saga)
My notes for the second draft of chapter 6 are as follows:
1. 1/19/24: in between scenes 1 and 2 (as it is in the first draft), add a scene at the lunch tables where the seventh graders debate the tasty merits of hawaiian pizza, with some liking it and others not (all of them trying a slice; Azashi brings an entire pizza with him that is a regular hawaiian with scallions added)
2. 8/30/23: in the second draft of the scene(s) with Ledas and Bulma traversing a Frieza outpost, add in a scene where they are freaked out by a huge swarm of what kind of looks like space rats but is some other species that Ledas knows about, which he helps Bulma escape from since he can fly (she climbs up a pipe and falls, referencing the "Emperor Pilaf Saga"), before Ledas catches her; 9/9/23 addendum: have some weird creature throw up on Bulma, too
3. 1/4/24: Ryori should mutter that Ledas is being a show-off when he flies off in the first scene
4. 1/4/24: have Chiwan mention Babidi as Buu's "muppet-looking sidekick"
5. 1/4/24: have someone make a comment about Azashi's awkward joke to end scene 1 as the camera is zooming out
6. 1/4/24: pick a song to parody with karaoke for Yajirobe and Korin
7. 1/4/24: have Yajirobe react more to Ledas getting there, saying something like "Ledas? Don't you know it's rude to sneak up on a samurai?!" or something
8. 1/4/24: Korin needs to say that senzus will take longer to grow - do not specify that it will take merely weeks more, as that may be inaccurate canonically
9. 1/4/24: come up with second karaoke song; there should be a few lines of this sung before Ledas makes his shocked Pikachu face
10. 1/4/24: the camera zoom-out to end the scene at Azashi's house could be different to not be repetitive
11. 1/4/24: have Ryori pass the guy who opens the Guac's door for them a Ƶ25,000 note
12. 1/4/24: the talk about Chiaki texting Chiwan should be more detailed
13. 1/4/24: have Ryori and Chiaki grab blunts before running out of the Guac room
14. 3/28/24: Ledas does not leave Korin Tower with any senzus but has one later on ---> this may have been an error, in which case Korin should say there should've been four but are now only two, leaving Ledas with one
15. 3/28/24: Chiwan and Tabashi's shouting match should instead be a trashtalking match
16. 3/28/24: specify the model of space ship Ledas has in Bulma's dialogue before they leave Earth
17. 3/28/24: have Tabashi text Chiwan for Chiaki just before he throws up
18. 3/28/24: have Chiaki say dude instead of lad
19. 2/28/24: end the chapter at a later point with more dialogue with the police officer occuring
20. 4/25/24: the police officer's name is a pun on minced pork rice (ru-ro-han)
My notes for the first draft were all over the place and showed I didn't really know what I was doing with the chapter. The second draft notes are a lot more precise to what I ended up doing. I should mention that just because something is put in my notes doesn't mean I'm obligated to do it. Sometimes I decided not to implement something because it didn't fit thematically/tonally/structurally, or I didn't like it. Pretty much everything in the second draft notes was added in, though.
I began writing the first draft on May 21, 2023. The writing went slowly but consistently. I finished that draft on June 15^th. I did minor editing of the first scene on June 20^th, but otherwise didn't touch the chapter again until the official second draft began on April 25, 2024. The first draft was significantly underwritten. I expanded the chapter greatly during the second draft and beyond, adding in the pizza scene, the stuff about drunk texting Chiwan, Bulma running from rats and getting thrown up on, and significantly expanding the conversation between Jia and the police officer (in the first draft, the officer had like two lines total) and her conversation afterwards with Ryori (which hadn't existed at all in the first draft). This chapter probably grew the most from first to final draft, word-count-wise. The third and fourth drafts went pretty smoothly. I finished them on April 28^th and posted the chapter to the wiki shortly afterward.
Ledas writes with both hands because that's something I did in class sometimes to prevent boredom. It works better for him than it did for me as he doesn't have good penmanship regardless.
Rib injuries suck. I have one right now and it's preventing me from doing pretty much anything. Even breathing hurts. I don't know how the hell Ledas is training with bruised or cracked ribs. That kid's made of sterner stuff than me. I suppose it's not in a Saiyan's nature to complain or whine about pain.
Hawaiian pizza is great. If you don't like it, I don't give a shit, but I do have a problem with people getting offended that people eat it. How dare people eat food they enjoy? How rude! The stupidest argument is always "pineapple doesn't belong on pizza". Regardless of if you like it or not, the taste of pineapple compliments cheese and ham. It's not some random ingredient tossed on. The flavor profile is coherent. Whether you like it or not is up to you, but it's elitist to dictate what can and cannot go on a pizza. As far as I'm concerned, anything can. Doesn't mean everything should. Getting offended over what someone else finds tasty is strange. I don't get it. Oh well, more pineapple for me.
The pizza scene wasn't in the first draft. I wanted to add the debate about pineapple at some point after writing this chapter and figured this was the best place to slide it in during later drafts.
Tabashi is correct about some people not liking pineapple on pizza just because it isn't traditional. There are people who think the only real pizza is the kind from Italy where there isn't even cheese. For me, adding ingredients that work is only a bonus. Screw traditions. I've never had Italian pizza, so I can't speak to their quality, but the options there are certainly more boring than are available elsewhere.
I share Ippi's opinion on anchovies though I don't begrudge people who love those on their pizzas. I just wouldn't date someone who eats them. Kissing would be nasty.
I believe the opening scene is the first time Ippi's obsession with TikTok is mentioned. She's like many of today's youth, addicted to endless short-term dopamine hits. I don't hate TikTok but I also don't care for it. It means nothing to me. Nevertheless, the issues related to TikTok on one's attention span and knowledge felt apropos to explore through the context of one of the students.
Chiwan revealing herself to be a spicegirl is a cool moment. I think it's obvious I like writing for her a lot. Pepperoni isn't my cup of tea, but I'm not going to agree with everything my characters like. Personality-wise, her choice of pizza toppings seems on-point for a skater.
Originally, Ledas said "humans" instead of "you people". That was too obviously a slip, so I changed it. I gotta admit, I'm somewhat underwhelmed by the replacement phrase but can't think of a better one.
Ledas overcoming his physical pain by spending time with his friends, eating and laughing, is metaphorical for how they serve the same purpose of helping him overcome loneliness and emotional damage by being there for him. This is also true of Ryori though I didn't highlight his mental state in the first scene. Whether he realizes it or not, Ledas has found his family, his place in the world, and the bad times are behind him. Whether he will be fully healed from his trauma is not something I will answer. Spending time with his friends alleviates the pain, if only briefly.
I liked writing the scene where Ledas flies off in front of everyone. This is him showing his friends who he truly is, acting more comfortable in his identity around those he trusts. Wouldn't have done this had Chiwan not seen him fly, to be fair, so that moment in the last chapter accelerated their bonding.
"We were just turned into candy by a pink blobby monstrous demon and his muppet-looking sidekick, and you think this is weird?" - Chiwan's got a point. As well, since this story takes place before November Age 774, Goku hasn't used the last wish to erase everyone's memories of Buu. All humans are carrying trauma related to being killed by Buu. I'm not sure exactly what they think happened. Maybe they thought it was a dream. Regardless, I don't delve too deeply into this issue because Goku will erase their memories. Didn't want to have any character arcs centered around it for that reason. But I wanted to show that they remember Buu to make everything feel as tied-in to the Dragon Ball universe as possible.
Poor Azashi. Chiwan was roasting him like a bell pepper at the end of the first scene. He kind of deserved it. This little moment definitely endears her to Chiaki. He loves her sense of humor.
There aren't any music cues in West City Saga. Never found a place I wanted any. With that said, I linked to the two karaoke songs in the second scene to provide context for what Yajirobe and Korin are singing. I suppose since these songs are technically playing during the scene, they kind of count as musical cues. There's also another song cued in one of the scenes in the Guac. I'll talk more about that when we get there. In any case, this is not to say that future HOTD sagas won't have musical cues. I know for a fact the Emperor Kuriza Saga will open with a song. Musical cues will not occur as frequently as they did in The Forgotten.
When I wrote the first draft of the second scene, I hadn't picked out the karaoke songs, leaving those sections blank. Took me a while to settle on "The Bitch Song". I only picked it because around the time I was doing the second draft, I was in a major Bowling For Soup mood (still kind of am). The song fits the tone of the story. It makes me laugh thinking about Yajirobe and Korin singing that song. It feels perfect. The second song is just one of my favorite songs in general. "The Great Pretender" could possibly have symbolic meaning for the characters and story, but I won't speculate on that. This song was mainly chosen because you have to really sing that song to sing it well. Freddy Mercury is a difficult artist to mimic. Imagining Yajirobe trying to do that was really funny to me.
Ledas is not a great singer. He never had any practice when he was younger. I don't think he sings that often, but he's not opposed to it. His son Nir will be a bigtime singer when he's introduced into the story. Maybe he gets that from hearing his dad sing around the house? I'm not sure, but it's something to keep in mind. As far as I know, this is the only time Ledas is shown singing. I may have him do more of that in future stories and sagas of HOTD.
Ledas respects Korin a lot. He'd find his choice of pizza nasty, but wouldn't dare mention it. There aren't many people Ledas is this polite to.
The image of Korin getting cheese all over his neck fur is influenced by my cat Balerion being a very messy eater. When he has wet food, he'll often get it all over his mane and forehead. He's sort of a klutz. Korin should be a dignified, venerable martial arts master, and yet he is no better than a common house cat when it comes to feeding time. As they say, food brings us together.
I didn't want Ledas to have many senzu beans at his disposal during this saga, but I wanted him to a have a few. Four seemed like too many, so I came up with the idea that Yajirobe ate two of them, leaving Ledas with only a single spare. I knew I'd use the last senzu at some point for some reason but hadn't a clue as to what that reason was when I wrote out this scene.
Ledas was not impressed by Yajirobe's singing of "The Great Pretender". The surprised Pikachu face is again an anime-tropey thing, but I couldn't think of a better facial expression for him to make in that moment. I'm sure he handed Korin the win once it was all said and done, or maybe he diplomatically gave them a tie. It's a great mystery that will certainly never be solved.
As I've mentioned in the chapter 2 endnotes, Smash is a decent multiplayer game, but not one of my favorites. I put it in mainly for HZ's sake (he loves the series) as well as to have some fun with the characters in the game being competitors from the various World Martial Arts Tournaments. Makes the story feel more in-line with the Dragon Ball universe.
The conversation between Anraku, Chiaki, and Ryori was foreshadowed in chapter 2 when Azashi revealed to everyone that he cooked with alcohol his brother got him. The bar Anraku works at, the Guac, is a fairly popular joint in West City. It's been featured in a few stories of mine, namely Sandboys. I knew before beginning this saga that one of the chapters would be centered around a trip to the Guac, but I didn't expect Ledas not to come. As seen in the original outline, he was supposed to be there. Alas, his story went in a different direction. Regardless, what the boys are doing is incredibly reckless and stupid. If they want alcohol, they should've just paid Anraku for some bottles of wine and beer and drank in one of their homes. Still stupid to do at their age, but a lot less stupid than sneaking into a bar. Ryori does this because he wants to experience what his brother did, knowing Shoekki went to the Guac semi-frequently when he was alive. This is a way for him to connect with his deceased brother. Not a smart thing to do. He's coming at this too emotionally. Anraku only puts up with it because he's getting a massive payday bribe from Ryori (likely most of the zeni Ledas won off of Kamome).
Chiaki's father probably isn't a very good lawyer considering their family is poor. As well, the fact that he goes to a strip bar is kinda sleazy. Maybe he doesn't look at the strippers or get lap dances. Don't really believe that, though. The friction between Chiaki's mother and father isn't really touched upon since they have basically no relevance to the plot, but it is something I kept in mind. I don't know if that will ever come up again in a future story. Most likely not, but you never know.
I gave Ledas Tien Shinhan as a character because Ledas is nothing like Tien both in demeanor and fighting style. Giving Chiwan Jackie Chun was a sign of respect, as I like Chiwan a lot. Roshi is the original G, and if anyone deserves to play as him, it's her. Azashi as Jewel is kind of random, but Jewel was a WMAT finalist, so at least from the humans' perspective, he picked a skilled warrior. Tabashi winning with Mr. Satan will never not be funny.
I never outright say how Ledas and Bulma set up their mission. The way I think it went down is that after Ledas took the senzu beans in scene 2, he realized he'd need them more often than they'd be available and needed a different way to heal. He likely contacted Bulma and asked her if Capsule Corp. had rejuvenation tanks, probably telling her about the ones on Frieza outposts. She would have then set up a mission to find one, reverse-engineer the tech, and install some both in Capsule Corp. and Ledas' space ship. Ledas' agitation on the phone is not because she's dragging him off-world. It's because she's slotted them for a very early departure, likely a few hours before he wanted to wake up. He wants the rejuvenation tank more than she does, so he goes along with it.
Anraku is completely right in his assessment of Ryori's plan, but money talks. I don't think any of the kids have had weed before. Maybe Chiaki or Tabashi. I don't know. Hard to say. Even if they have, certainly they haven't had it often or recently.
Ryori should not have called Anraku a pussy. Big mistake that'll come back to haunt him (even though he doesn't realize Anraku gets back at him for that). Ryori was acting way out of line right there. That was beyond rude of him, especially considering Anraku has no obligation to help him.
Ledas should have told Ryori about his plans to go to another planet with Bulma. He didn't realize that's what he was supposed to do. A mistake, to be sure. He wasn't trying to deceive Ryori.
Bulma's wearing the same space suit that she wore when she, Gohan, and Krillin left for Namek.
Ledas traveling light is the correct move. What would he even need to bring? They'll only be gone for one day. He doesn't need extra clothes. Bulma has a big bag of who knows what. I suppose she's being overly cautious, but it's not a big deal. Now, if they were marooned, then Ledas' choice would look a lot more foolish, but again, the ship has enough food to sustain them for several months, and in the end, that's all that really matters.
Ledas sleeping during takeoff reminds me of something I had intended on writing but never got around to: a scene where Ledas goes on a rollercoaster with Ryori and the others and falls asleep on it like Mr. Bean. It'd just be a quick scene. Maybe I'll write that scene into my Ledas and Ryori story in my next one-shot collection. Back on topic, Ledas' training is the reason why he doesn't feel anything during takeoff. That's nothing compared to sparring at 650G.
One of the most significant things in the West City Saga is Theo's introduction. He'll be a pivotal character moving forward. He's the third member of the Starchasers, acting as the pilot of their ships. He'll also provide readouts for the planets they visit (when available) and help them in any ways they need, such as hacking into security grids and the like. Theo was around during Country Matters. I didn't really know what his role was at the time of writing that story, but now I do. I figured it was good to get him on the team now, since Ledas is going to be using the ship very soon to show Ryori and the others the solar system and whatnot. It'd just be easier to have the AI pilot the ship during those scenes. This is an earlier model of Theo than is seen in Country Matters. Bulma and Dr. Brief upgrade him periodically. I like how Ledas sleeps through his introduction, considering how much of a valued member of the Starchasers he ends up being.
Ryori wanted to share the Guac experience with Ledas badly. He's hurt that his friend disappeared without telling him where he went. While he's playing it cool around the other boys, Ryori feels a sense of abandonment in that moment, wondering if Ledas has disappeared for good. He likely noticed the gravity training unit was missing from the backyard. It'd be logical to assume Ledas left the planet and may not come back for a while if ever.
Azashi is right not to wait for Ledas. That private room was costly. They're burning money waiting around. Besides, Ryori can always come back with Ledas on a later date. He doesn't have to be there at that specific time. It'd be nice to share the moment, but if it's not possible, there's no use fretting. Easier said than done, especially for teenagers. Ryori gets hella drunk in the Guac partially because he's saddened by Ledas' absence.
Ryori didn't originally give the guy who opens the door any money. I added that in during the editing phase, as it made more sense to make sure that guy's going to keep quiet. He gives him roughly $175, which is a massive bribe. That's more money than the line cook makes in a few days' work, surely. Guaranteed he'd never rat on them.
The frantic energy in the kitchens was a nice accompaniment to the boys' emotions as they ran to the private room. The clamoring chaos inside them mirrors the chaos of the world. I'd never work in a kitchen. That job has to take years off the chefs' lives. I couldn't imagine the amount of stress they experience daily.
I picked room 11 because that was my jersey number when I played soccer.
The green Guac-labeled lights are classy.
Tabashi struggles to open his first beer because he's never had one before. This foreshadows his reaction to the beer later on.
Like Chiaki, I would've tried the marijuana before the beer. Not that that's an intelligent decision. Beer doesn't hit as hard. But I'd rather know what weed feels like (assuming this was my first time). Beer is easier to get ahold of.
Beer definitely tastes bad. The more I've had over the years, the easier it's gotten to drink, but that doesn't take away from it having an awful, bitter flavor. I've tried many different beers over the years, and by far my favorite ones are the ones that have a strong secondary flavor, like mango. Even then, the underlying beer flavor is nasty. I could never drink beer for the taste. It's not good enough.
A lobsterback is a redcoat, a derogatory term for a British person. Obviously Britain doesn't exist in the Dragon World, so I was just having a little fun considering Azashi mentioned an English staple food (fish and chips). Azashi's apparent English influence is touched upon again in scene 7.
Ryori will soon be able to get his beers down. Certainly by the time of Monkeyboy's First Vacation, he has no problem with the occasional beer or glass of saké. Tabashi on the other hand is already showing signs of becoming a serial drinker with how easily he handled his first beer. He's not pacing himself at all, foreshadowing what happens to him in scene 7.
Planet Frieza 173 was partially based on the UIR area in Act III chapter 1 of Gears 5, particularly with the arid, desolate climate and the reddish sand washing over the outpost.
The energy damage is most likely from pirates. Could've been Vegeta's doing too. The least likely option is that the outpost garrison rebelled against their leadership following Frieza's defeat on Namek. Any of these or some combination of them could've occurred. I personally lean towards pirates being the main culprit.
Ledas will create energy blasts with his tail a lot more in future stories and sagas of HOTD. Making the cyan ball here and keeping it hovering over his tail is a small gesture pointing to that becoming the norm as the story progresses. One idea I had was for him to start almost exclusively using his Particle Beam attack from his tail from now on. We'll see if that happens or not, but as of now, that's the plan. That tail isn't just to make him look cute. He's going to be using it a lot more in upcoming fights.
I really like the dynamics between Bulma and Ledas. Ledas respects her but enjoys trolling her because she's an easy target. Bulma is one of the easier canon characters for me to write for. That's a big part of why she's in this chapter. I knew I could write for her in the same way that I knew I could write for Yajirobe and Korin, and the comedy that'd emerge from it seemed most appealing to me (let alone getting a rejuvenation tank out of it).
Ledas isn't wrong about the Joleans. If they were on the planet, there'd be no way to know without hearing or seeing them. With that said, I doubt they are. The planet doesn't seem to hold many natural resources.
I somewhat regret putting the link to "Super Bass" in the seventh scene. That song is trash (which is why I picked it), but I shouldn't really be highlighting that. I get why I did it. The song's playing and they even reference some of the lyrics, so it's useful to have it there. Regardless, it's a bad song. In chapter 9 when the kids share their picks for the worst song of the year, I do not link those songs, as I learned my lesson here. It a useful tool to have the song playable but it just feels like it makes the chapter worse by having that song in it. I don't know. My feelings are mixed.
"I can see why my uncle drinks like ten of these a day." - That's insane. I don't know how Temoto manages to run an auto shop as an alcoholic. Lots of characterization in this one line.
Like Chiaki and Ryori, I'd raise my hand. Nicki Minaj is trash.
It's difficult not to be judgmental about Tabashi's musical taste. In the end, he likes a song that I don't. Doesn't make him a bad person or stupid. But the song is awful. It's a fine line to walk criticizing the song without criticizing Tabashi as a person for liking it. Don't know how successful I was.
Azashi only rants about bangers and mash because he's drunk and high. I thought it'd be funny if he ranted about food, showing just how passionate he is about that subject, whereas the other kids are thinking about more base desires like girls and partying.
Bangers and mash sounds really awful, as most British food does. I don't like sausages or beans or mushrooms (or fish, for that matter), so British cuisine is just not for me. Fair play to those who like it, it's just not for me. With that said, I tried to present it in a positive light from Azashi's perspective. No doubt the weed has made him hungry, so his description of bangers and mash was wrought with succulent descriptions.
A limey is another derogatory term for a Brit. Again, since Britain doesn't exist in the Dragon World, this is just playful banter.
Tabashi does the famous Piccolo speech after fusing with Nail. Kind of an on-the-nose comedic moment, but I couldn't pass it up. Tabashi's super drunk and high. He's bound to be a little cringe. I did think it was funny that it took a thirteen-year-old kid being high and drunk to come up with the same cringe line Piccolo did while sober. Kind of a knock against Piccolo's badass persona.
Azashi isn't wrong about Chiaki only wanting to text Chiwan about his feelings for her because he's drunk. When he wakes up tomorrow, the cringe and embarrassment will be enough to paralyze him. This is the curse of alcohol. However, I will say that Chiaki knows his feelings are real now. He can't hide them anymore. He likes Chiwan a lot. So maybe texting her tonight isn't the best plan. Talking to her at school could be a better option. I'm sure he's embarrassed just by the fact that he admitted he likes her to the guys. He's going to regret that tomorrow.
Chiwan is definitely not Ryori's type. She has big boobs and a pussy and birthing hips. My gosh, what a turnoff!
The conversation about Chiwan got a little vulgar which I thought would be the natural way for the conversation to turn between thirteen-year-old boys who are drunk. They'd be fairly specific about what they like about her. Being vague, hiding behind decorum, felt out of character for everyone involved. Still, it's dehumanizing to reduce her value to her breasts. Chiaki, for his worth, does say he likes her personality, so for him, this is not merely physical attraction.
The entire part where they discuss texting Chiwan wasn't in the original draft. After I decided that Chiaki and Chiwan will get together, I needed to add in build-up scenes. The first was in chapter 4. This was an excellent place to put a second one. Now Chiaki's infatuation is out in the open and he sort of crowdsources a way to woo her. He's lucky he has Tabashi and Azashi to help him because Ryori is absolutely useless in this conversation (Ledas would be too, to be fair; Hachi would blow up on them for speaking about his sister that way, so no way they could even talk about this in front of him). I had a lot of fun with this part, as we've all been there. Drunk texting someone something you later regret saying is a fairly universal experience.
Chiaki should've never given Tabashi his phone. Rookie mistake.
Tabashi isn't lying about having three girlfriends. He is most definitely lying about them not breaking up with him. He's' by no means a playa. So I'm not sure how much help he'll be. I had a blast showing this side of Tabashi. The partyboy lady's man doesn't show off much in school. But in the club, he's a different beast. I think I did a decent job of making everyone react to the alcohol and weed slightly differently. Tabashi's stealing the show.
Six beers is insane for your first time. Hell, if I go a week or two without drinking, six beers will destroy me, and I'm a professional alcoholic.
Yes, Tabashi did in fact text Chiwan as Chiaki boasting about the size of his dick. I don't think he could've picked a worse strategy. He only did so because he thought it'd be funny and he's so drunk he can't think straight. Still, that's a dick move. No way he picked up any of his girlfriends with a line like that. Chiaki doesn't even have a huge one (he's slightly above average), which puts a lot of pressure on him. Not cool, Tabashi. You don't do that shit without discussing it beforehand.
I figured it'd be poetic to have Tabashi throw up just when the stripper enters. Couldn't have thought of a better moment to have him throw up. We all knew it was coming. He was six beers in. He's thirteen years old. I'm surprised the other kids didn't try to slow him down. I love this type of comedy. It moves the conversation away from the disastrous text to Chiwan, too, in an explosive way. Very useful. Again, I spent a lot of time crafting the tone of this story, and it's little moments like this that reinforce what I'm going for.
"RYORI GIVES THE STRIPPER A GLANCE, BUT DOES NOT STARE LIKE THE OTHER TWO" - this is yet another hint toward Ryori's sexuality. I'd say if I were merely a reader of this saga and not its author, I'd have picked up on Ryori being either gay or asexual by this point.
The kids show a lot of loyalty to Tabashi. They could've run out and left him behind, but they didn't. The power of loyalty and the bonds formed from it is one of the story's central themes. Quality moment by all involved.
The blunts Ryori and Chiaki take before running out are confiscated by the police after they're caught.
Azashi is allowed in the bar because his brother works there and the management knows he sometimes helps out in the kitchens. He was never at risk of being pursued. Anraku wouldn't have sent the stripper into their room if he thought the police were going to get his brother. Again, the loyalty theme pops up, although Anraku uses it in a more vengeful way.
Anraku's revenge on Ryori is pretty satisfying I have to say, as much as I like Ryori. He shouldn't have called Anraku a pussy. He didn't know who he was messing with. Sending the stripper in there to bust them was a genius move since Shoekki ordered strippers and Ryori asked for whatever his brother ordered. Technically, Anraku didn't do anything wrong. He gave Ryori exactly what he asked for. He knew things would go down the way they did.
I'll grant the bouncers didn't know when the door would open, but their reaction times are piss-poor. They might be buzzed. Either way, were I the manager, I'd fire them for failing to catch thirteen-year-olds. If they can't even do that, what are they good for?
Tabashi showed his determination and will to get away from the bouncer, especially considering the state he was in. He must be feeling like shit, but the fear of being sent to military school gave him all the motivation he needed. Really impressive stuff. One of the fun parts of writing this saga was giving each of the characters their moments—their wins, so to speak. Tabashi gets a massive win here. Proud of the kid. He did much better than Ryori and Chiaki.
It didn't feel realistic for all of the kids to get away. Tabashi's exit made sense. I was less forgiving with Chiaki and Ryori. Had to be. It just wasn't realistic for them to get away. They can deal with it. I also thought it'd be interesting to see how the friendship dynamic with Ryori and Ledas changed as a result of this, with Ryori likely blaming Ledas for him getting caught since he wasn't there to save them. All of this will be explored in chapter 7. I'll talk more about that in that chapter's endnotes.
The eighth scene was massively expanded during the editing phase. I didn't originally have the part where they run away from the space rats or the part where the bat-like creature spits on Bulma. The scene felt flat without those moments. Not enough happened. There had to be some kind of action. So I added those in, mostly from a humorous perspective, to liven up the chapter. This is already one of the most action-packed chapters in the West City Saga, but that doesn't mean any individual scene can dip below a certain quality threshold. Gotta keep it up until the end to make it a consistent chapter.
Bulma climbing up the pole is a reference to her climbing up the Power Pole in episode 12 of Dragon Ball. In both scenes, the pole starts wobbling back and forth much to Bulma's horror. I thought it was a cool callback, not one you'd see often in a Dragon Ball fan fiction, and the comedy worked tonally for my story.
Ledas and Bulma have a great dynamic. Ledas respects her because she's Vegeta's mate but he also knows she's somewhat of a helpless human compared to him. There's no sexual tension going on, just pure trolling. He's recognized Bulma's highly emotional, prone to outbursts, and in order to keep himself entertained, plays off that. His closeness with Vegeta is a big reason why he does this. He likes Bulma but finds it funny how hysterical she can get.
"Vegeta wouldn’t have forgiven me for a couple weeks if I’d let that happen." - it's nice to see Ledas breaking out of his shell, cracking jokes, feeling himself. He never acted like this on Planet Cooler 92. His time on Earth has been enormously therapeutic.
The bat getting tangled in Bulma's hair certainly had super profound symbolic messaging, I swear.
The scene with the Appule-species skeleton is somewhat based on Goku messing around with a skull in Pirate Cave during the General Blue Saga. I've considered commissioning a picture of this moment to act as the banner for the West City Saga. I may do that, may not. We'll see.
Despite banter comprising the majority of their adventure, Ledas and Bulma have a fairly serious moment in the med-bay. It's moments like this that show the story isn't just a comedy and isn't moving by on rails. Bulma gives Ledas tremendous respect for enduring what he did on Planet Cooler 92. He's a valuable asset, showing her how the rejuvenation tanks work. The only reason he knows how to work them is because he got beaten bloody almost daily back when he was on PC92. The horrors of his past are paying dividends today in more ways than one. Importantly, he doesn't take a "woe is me" position about it. He lived through it, endured it, and is stronger for it. That's not to say he'd do it again. But he survived and grew from his abuse. Most importantly, he didn't become a cruel asshole from it. His cheerful, naive, determined personality survived the hardships along with his body. Bulma knows what Vegeta's been through. Ledas' journey is not dissimilar. She respects them greatly for their strong wills and uncompromising attitudes, not allowing the past to dictate the future. A touching moment, I must say, and one I hadn't entirely remembered before this re-read.
Big Ed is easily the biggest lolcow on the trainwreck show 90 Day Fiancé. To be honest, I do feel for him in a way, because physically he's a terrible anomaly. Having no neck must be tough. But he also has a pretty garbage personality, so my sympathy lessens due to that.
Jia watching television with the Saibamen shows that she's growing a lot more comfortable in Ryori and Ledas' home. She's cozying up to the creatures that just a few chapters back she was terrified of. She's one of the crew. She's in deep now. It won't be long before she realizes her loyalty is to the boys more so than Cardinal, especially considering they haven't done anything worth getting killed over from what she's seen. This small casual moment says a lot about her character development.
Jia didn't have to save Ryori from getting a record. Using her position in King Furry's government may be seen as unethical, but she is supposed to watching out for the kids. Personally, I don't have a problem with Ryori getting one lifeline. I won't say he's earned it. Jia goes above and beyond for him in the ninth scene. She shows how much she cares about him. This isn't performative. She's not acting as a member of the New Red Ribbon Army by doing this. In fact, Cardinal might have wanted her to let Ryori go to juvenile hall. She's grown to love the boys, her maternal instincts overriding her loyalty to the NRRA. She does good here even if Ryori doesn't deserve it.
I'm sure Jia and Ryori had a longer conversation the next morning, but I personally wasn't interested in delving into that, so I just wanted to hit a couple points in their conversation before ending the chapter. For what it's worth, the entire conversation between Jia and Ryori after the door closes was only added in during the editing phase. The first draft originally ended with them still outside with the police officer. I changed how this scene went, wanting Ryori to reflect on his actions that night, to allow him to bond with Jia in a difficult moment, and to show that there's some quality in these two beyond what we've seen before.
"Really, you didn’t have to stick your neck out for me. But thanks for that. Ledas was right. You’re a nice lady." - this greatly affects Jia going forward. She feels more and more like Ledas and Ryori are her family, even in this difficult moment.
Really really liked this chapter. It may be the best chapter or at least in the top three out of the thirteen. I loved doing the dual plotlines and everything entailed in them. Ledas and Bulma were an unexpectedly top-tier comedic combo. The boys at the Guac were super funny. Lots of character development there. Glad to see Chiaki's infatuation with Chiwan out in the open. Comedy was on point (for me). Lots of varied settings, too. The part with Yajirobe and Korin is super memorable, and I loved the debate about pineapple on pizza. It's the most important discussion to ever occur in a Dragon Ball fan fiction. On a more serious note, the editing phase helped this one a lot. Adding in the conversation between Ryori and Jia at the end is critical to their character development. Jia wasn't in a lot of this chapter but she owned every moment she was in. This chapter elevates the saga, taking it to a new level. I'm really proud of what I came up with for this one.

7. The Overview Effect

<4:22 P.M.>

Bulma: I don’t know, maybe a week or two. My dad will want to help. With any luck, he’ll be able to make more sense of the alien tech than I can. You should take it easy in the meantime.

Ledas: Take it easy? Seriously, Bulma? That’s never gonna happen. My training won’t stop for anything. I’ll just be careful going forward. I’m getting more used to this form, anyway. It’s not draining me nearly as much as it was last week.

Bulma: Ugh, Saiyans are all the same. No wonder Vegeta’s the way he is. All he cares about is growing stronger, no matter what he does to his body.

Ledas: Is that a bad thing?

Bulma: <EXASPERATED> Training isn’t the only thing that matters in life.

Ledas: Easy for you to say with your power level.

Jia: Oh, Ledas. I thought you might’ve been picked up by the police. Did they let you out?

Ledas: I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.

Jia: So you weren’t with Ryori and the other boys last night?

Ledas: Nope, I was on a top-secret mission with Bulma.

Jia: <TRYING TO MASK HER CURIOSITY> Oh really? What were you up to?

Ledas: <GRINNING> Just your standard off-world tech retrieval.

Jia: Right. <SETTLING DOWN, THINKING WHAT HE SAID WAS A LIE> Well, come in. We had dinner earlier, but I can prepare you someth—

Ledas: <RUSHING INSIDE; RAVENOUSLY> Is there any more chicken korma? That was delicious. I need to have more. <HIS EYES GROW LARGE, SPARKLING WITH PASSION> I could eat it for the rest of my life and never get bored. Please oh please, bring me some korma.

Jia: I believe there’s some left. Would you like naan with that?

Ledas: Yeah, four of ‘em, please.

Jia: Four naan, Ledas? Four? That’s insane.

Ryori: Where the hell have you been for the last two days? I’ve been texting you. I thought you’d left for good.

Ledas: Sorry, I didn’t get your texts until I got back to Earth.

Ryori: Back to Earth?

Ledas: Bulma dragged me to Planet Frieza 173. It was unavoidable. I had to go.

Ryori: Couldn’t you have told her to piss off?

Ledas: Nah, it was important. We needed to pick up a rejuvenation tank, or rather, learn how to duplicate one because otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to train with Vegeta anymore.

Ryori: I don’t understand a word you said, dude. The hell?

Ledas: Oh, um, I suppose I’ve never brought it up before. Frieza ruled a portion of the Planet Trade Organization—an intergalactic empire that controlled much of the galaxy while he lived. I was born in his region, but I spent most of my life as a slave in his brother Cooler’s territory. We went searching for PTO tech Vegeta and I needed for our training. <WAVING HIS HANDS DRAMATICALLY> It was an abandoned outpost. The Planet Trade is pretty dead now from what I saw. Good riddance, made it simpler. Quick operation. In and out. No big deal.

Ryori: <CLEARLY OVERWHELMED BY THIS INFORMATION, WHICH BLUNTS HIS ANGER> Uh, so, uh, did you find what you were looking for?

Ledas: We did, yeah. But what happened back here? Jia said something about the police.

Ryori: We could’ve used you at the Guac. If you’d been there, we would’ve gotten away from the piggies for sure.

Ledas: Why were they chasing you? Aren’t the police your planet’s security officers?

Ryori: I mean, kinda. We weren’t technically allowed in the bar because you have to be twenty-one to drink alcohol and smoke weed. Have you ever had alcohol before? It makes you feel happy. Weed too. Everything’s funny, reality goes by super slow. It’s cool. We had a great time. You should’ve been there. Would’ve been awesome.

Ledas: Never heard of it. Maybe it’s called something else in the PTO.

Ryori: Jia was pissed. Not like she can do anything. She tried to ground me. But you know, she actually stood up to the police officer and got me off on a warning. She’s really not so bad. Besides, it was only a small fine. That fucker Cardinal can pay it after what he’s done to us. I don’t give a shit.

Ledas: Look, I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you guys to that place. I’ll try to hang out with you as much as I can, but I’m not going to be on Earth one hundred percent of the time. Sometimes I have to do other stuff. <RYORI DOESN’T LOOK ALL THAT MOVED> I know a way to make up for it—after school tomorrow, why don’t we take a ride in the ship? Bulma installed an AI that can pilot it anywhere for us. We could visit any planet you want.

Ryori: <SITTING UP> Whoa, seriously? We could go anywhere? Like Jupiter or Neptune?

Ledas: What are those?

Ryori: <CHUCKLING TO HIMSELF> Sometimes I forget you’re an alien, bro.

Ledas: Aw, c’mon, change the channel. This sport of yours is worse than the taste of coffee. It’s inexplicable. How could anyone in the stands stay awake this long? I’d be bored silly.

Ryori: Look, he’s using a vocab word. He’s assimilating.

Ledas: That’s why I love Jerry Springer. His show is like a human zoo. I learn more about your species from it than anything else. It’s excellent.

Jia: Is this going to be another one of your anti-human rants, Ledas? We get it. We’re all vulgar, aggressive, self-obsessed apes. Easy targets.

Ledas: Actually, I was being serious. Kakarot and Vegeta chose mates from this planet, and they’re the only members of my species I know who are still living, although Vegeta’s brother Tarble could be too, but we aren’t sure. If humans, for them, are good enough to live amongst and breed with, I can’t see why it’d be any different for me. That’s why Jerry Springer is one of the greatest humans. He showcases your culture like no one else. It’s very informative. He performs a service lots of people don’t respect.

Ryori: Lots of c*nts.

Jia: Language, mister.

Ryori: <IN A MOCKING BRITISH ACCENT> Piss off, ya bloody tosser. Yer not me fuckin’ mum.

Ledas: Frieza’s stink gland, she’s gonna bite his lip off. What an uncivilized brute.

Jia: They’re kissing.

Ledas: Kissing? What kind of technique is that?

Ryori: <FACEPALMING> Oh kami…

Old woman: <COMMENTATING HER VIDEO> Look at ‘em go. I knew it. Said it before. They always go in when the sun goes down. Rotten little gremlins can’t stand the cold. Every day it’s the same. Disgraceful. They’re living in our community, and the police won’t do anything about it. I’m calling the mayor tomorrow, you can bet on it. I have an appointment sche—

<JIA, LEDAS, RYORI, AND CARAWA PLAY MONOPOLY; A THREE STOOGES EPISODE (THE SITTER DOWNERS^[21]) IS ON THE TELEVISION; CARAWA LOOKS NONE TOO PLEASED, HAVING TO FORK OVER ALMOST THE LAST OF HIS REMAINING MONOPOLY ZENI TO JIA; HE THROWS DOWN THE MONEY, SLIDING OFF THE CHAIR, AND RUNS DOWN THE HALLWAY, MAKING OBSCENE NOISES; WHEN CURLY SITS DOWN ON THE PIN AND SLAPS THE BALD GUY’S FACE, LEDAS HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER, UNABLE TO CONTAIN HIMSELF; THE CAMERA ZOOMS IN ON JIA, WHO IS HAVING A GREAT TIME WITH THE BOYS, AS SHE COLLECTS MORE MONEY FROM RYORI>

<7:29 A.M.>

Jia: <WHISTLES SHARPLY> Let’s go, you two! You’re going to be late!

Ryori: <JUBILANTLY> Oh yeah, suck it, suck it! I win! Let’s fuckin’ go! On your knees! Bow before your king!

Jia: Hey, turn the PlayStation off and get your asses out here! I’m not playing around! You’re going to be late! <TURNING THE BURNERS DOWN, SHE GOES TO GET THEM WHEN HER CELL PHONE BUZZES; HALTING, SHE READS THE TEXT>

Mori: <VIA TEXT> We’re ready. Collect the sample.

Jia: <AN UNSETTLED LOOK RIPPLES ACROSS HER FACE; SHE RETREATS TO THE KITCHEN; VIA TEXT> From my observations, that may be unnecessary.

Mori: <VIA TEXT> Elaborate.

Jia: <VIA TEXT> He does not appear to be a threat. Shown no signs of concerning behavior. Rebellious and strong-willed, but not evil. I recommend against taking further action. We risk being unmasked.

Mori: <VIA TEXT> The decision has already been made. Collect the sample. Do your job or a more loyal replacement will be found.

Jia: Yes?

Cardinal: <OVER THE PHONE> Well? Have you collected the sample? We’ll be there in five minutes.

Jia: <SHE TAKES RUBBER GLOVES OUT OF A PACKAGE IN HER POCKET AND PUTS THEM ON BEFORE PULLING OUT A BLUE BAGGIE> I’ll have it for you, sir.

Cardinal: Don’t delay.

Jia: Hey! What the hell are you doing? Stop it. Stop it now.

<10:32 A.M.>

<MS. MAHOBI LEADS A HISTORY LESSON FOR THE SEVENTH GRADERS; SHE HAS BROUGHT IN A PROJECTOR AND IS PLAYING A VIDEO OVER A SCREEN IN FRONT OF THE DRY-ERASE BOARD; AN EXPLOSION FROM A HELICOPTER CAMERA VIEW ON SCREEN GRABS THEIR ATTENTION>

Ms. Mahobi: Now, in our exploration of contemporary history, we’ll begin tackling the four modern species-ending disasters. One week from today, you will submit essays on one of these events, giving an overview of what happened and discussing societal reactions as well as your personal feelings on the matter. <SHE PASSES OUT SHEETS OF PAPER WITH THE ESSAY INSTRUCTIONS ON THEM> Four pages, 1200-1500 words, double-spaced—the usual, same as the other essays you’ve been writing. Starting with the first of these disasters, does anyone know what we are looking at? This was before any of you were born, but I’m sure some of your parents must have mentioned this event.

Chiwan: May Ninth, Age 753. That’s when the demon called King Piccolo destroyed Central City and took King Furry hostage.

Ms. Mahobi: Very good, Chiwan. King Piccolo is an ancient being, having terrorized the world once before many years ago, of which records exist across countries and cultures. He staged a war against humankind, bringing us to the brink of extinction. It was only through the intervention of a small boy that peace was restored to the world.

<CLOSE-UP OF RYORI, WHO LOOKS UP AT THE CLOCK, WHICH IS TICKING PAINFULLY SLOWLY; HE SHIFTS UNCOMFORTABLY IN HIS SEAT, ANXIOUSLY BOUNCING HIS LEGS; THE CAMERA RETURNS FOCUS TO THE VIDEO, SHOWING A SCENE OF KING FURRY SPEAKING ON NATIONAL TELEVISION, THEN KING PICCOLO, THE GREEN MONSTROCITY, ADDRESSING THE WORLD; AN OVERLAY SHOT OF THE CLOCK PASSES THROUGH THE SCREEN, RIGHT TO LEFT, SHOWING THAT IT’S PAST 11 A.M.; A WIDE SHOT OF THE CLASS SHOWS THAT MOST OF THE STUDENTS ARE INTENTLY WATCHING, WHILE IPPI APPEARS BORED AND RYORI IS ANXIOUS; CHIAKI YAWNS BUT INTENTLY WATCHES; THE MOVIE SHOWS A CLIP OF KID GOKU IN A TORN GI STANDING OVER THE RUINS OF CENTRAL CITY, LOOKING FOR HIS POWER POLE WHILE KING FURRY AND REPORTERS GAWK AT HIM; WHEN HE TURNS AROUND AND HIS FURRY BROWN TAIL IS SEEN, CHIAKI (WHOSE HAIR IS DONE UP LIKE NEYMAR’S AT THE 2018 WORLD CUP, ALTHOUGH HE HASN’T DYED IT BLOND^[22]) GLANCES BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE SCREEN AND LEDAS; RYORI NOTICES, SIDE-EYEING HIM>

<11:52 A.M.>

<1:39 P.M.>

<CHIAKI, RYORI, TABASHI, IPPI, AND LEDAS ARE ON THE EASTBOUND PLATFORM; PEOPLE MILL ABOUT, BUT IT IS NOT ESPECIALLY BUSY AT THE MOMENT; HACHI, CHIWAN, AND AZASHI ARE OVER BY THE TICKET MACHINE; AZASHI SHOWS THE TWINS HOW TO USE IT, AS THEY HAVE NEVER RIDDEN A TRAIN BEFORE; A LIGHT CAN BE SEEN COMING DOWN THE TRACK>

Tabashi: <YELLING> Hey, the train’s coming. You’re going to miss it.

Chiaki: My parents won’t be home until nine or ten. We’ll have plenty of time.

Azashi: Shit man, who does the dishes here?

Chiaki: Yo, chill. I’ll get to that later. Just lettin’ ‘em soak for a while.

Azashi: Looks like they’ve been “soaking” for days.

Chiaki: Fuckin’ narc. Don’t ride me. I’ll get it done before they get home.

Chiaki: <SWIPING THE SMOKE ASIDE> Damn it, Shuku, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in class.

Shuku: Professor canceled. The real question is what are you and your friends doing here? You’re grounded. You’re not supposed to have anyone over. If I tell Mother—

Chiaki: Don’t be a rat. I’m warning you.

Shuku: Chill. No need to shout. Tranquilo, tranquilo. Take a hit, Chiyakisoba. It’ll calm your temper. <SHE GOES TO HAND HIM THE BONG, A SLY SMILE SPREADING ACROSS HER FACE> You know you want it.

Chiaki: <FLIPPING HER OFF; BLUSHING; RUBBING THE BACK OF HIS HAIR> Piss off. Just leave us alone, okay?

<SHUKU’S BOYFRIEND TAKES A HIT FROM THE BONG>

Shuku: Whatever. You’re fuckin’ rude, dude. You haven’t even said hello to—

Chiaki: <FLIPPANTLY> Yeah, yeah, congrats, sis, you brought home another one. How long’s this boy toy gonna last? A week? Ten days? <THE GUY EXHALES, LOOKING UP AT CHIAKI WITH AN UNCONCERNED SMILE; SARCASTICALLY> Try to make it three weeks. That’s the record.

Ryori: She’s not gonna tell, is she?

Chiaki: My sister’s no rat, I can promise you that.

Theodosius: Welcome back, Master Ledas. Shall we begin your training exercises for today, or would you like to return to Planet Frieza 173?

Chiwan: Planet Frieza 173? What’s the computer talking about?

Ryori: <LAUGHING NERVOUSLY> The AI’s just messing around. Don’t listen to it.

Ledas: <FIRMLY> No, I was there yesterday. <RYORI GLARES AT HIM, BUT LEDAS DOES NOT FALTER> This ship can take us anywhere in the galaxy provided it has enough fuel. Where do you wanna go first?

Chiwan: I still don’t believe you, but I’d like to see Earth from space if we can. See it like the astronauts do.

Ledas: Alright Theo, you heard her. Let’s go just above the atmosphere. And lower the looking window, please. <TO THE HUMANS> You better buckle up. You’re gonna feel this thing take off.

Theodosius: <VOICE-OVER> As you wish, master.

Shuku’s boyfriend: The hell was that? An earthquake?

Shuku: I don’t think so. This stuff’s potent as fuck. You’re high as fuck, babe. <LEANING IN, HE KISSES HER NECK, SLIDING A HAND DOWN THE FRONT OF HER PANTS; SHE PULLS BACK> Not here. My little brother’s around.

Shuku’s boyfriend: Your room have a lock?

<2:12 P.M.>

Tabashi: Clean up on aisle twelve. Ew, look at it. It’s all pink and blue.

Ryori: Dude, don’t describe it.

Ledas: Theo, can you deal with that?

<CHIWAN, AZASHI, AND IPPI ARE AT THE LOOKING WINDOW; CHIWAN’S EYES ARE WIDE, TEARING UP; AZASHI SMILES, THOUGH HE’S NOT AS EMOTIONAL AS HER; IPPI RECORDS A TIKTOK ON HER PHONE>

Ippi: Look at all that black. In the middle, one little drop of blue, impossibly bright.

Chiwan: Everyone we’ve ever known, everything we’ve ever seen and touched and felt, they’re all down there, together. Incredible. Never thought it’d make me feel like this. I can’t believe it.

Tabashi: Whoa, it’s so bright.

Ippi: I know, right?

Chiaki: It’s because of all the black. Makes it appear lighter.

Ledas: No, it is that bright. Earth is one of the most vibrant planets I’ve seen. Kinda small but full of life.

Chiaki: <EYES NARROWING> You’ve been to other planets?

Ryori: Dude, shut up.

Ledas: <SHRUGGING> What’s it matter, Ryori? I mean, they know I have a space ship and they heard what Theo said earlier. They’re not stupid. I’m not gonna insult them by pretending I’m something I’m not.

Chiwan: <BREAKING OUT OF HER TRANCE> What are you, an alien?

Ledas: <SCRATCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, LAUGHING AWKWARDLY> Well, to me, you guys are the aliens.

<HACHI, CHIWAN, RYORI, AND TABASHI FACE FAULT>

Chiaki: You’re the son of that kid who defeated King Piccolo, arentcha? He had a furry tail too, wild hair, and a penchant for fighting…it all fits.

Ledas: <ALMOST APPEARING OFFENDED> I’m certainly not related to Kakarot.

Azashi: Aha, but you know his name. There’s more going on here than meets the eye.

Ledas: Kakarot and I are Saiyans—

Tabashi: Ugh, I hate sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating—

Ledas: <ANNOYED> Not sand, Saiyans. We’re from Planet Vegeta. Err, I should say ‘were’ from. Our planet was destroyed by a raving galactic tyrant named Frieza years ago. That’s why we settled on your planet. We needed to find a new home. Earth has been great. I love the climate here.

Azashi: That and the fact that, aside from that tail, you blend in perfectly.

Ippi: I knew there was something weird about you.

Tabashi: This is too much to handle. I can’t believe it.

Ryori: Guys, calm down, Leeds is cool. He’s not going to do anything crazy.

Ledas: Of course not. I love this planet.

Chiwan: <WALKS OVER AND DRAMATICALLY HUGS LEDAS, WHICH HE FINDS UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT DOESN’T FIGHT AGAINST> Fuck that Frieza guy up his urethra with a clarinet. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to lose my world, to lose Earth. I get why you relocated here. The Earth is beautiful. <SHE LOOKS BACK OUT THE WINDOW> To have no home, nowhere to go, that’s not right.

Chiaki: You’d be dead. You wouldn’t have time to think.

Chiwan: <GLARING AT HIM> That’s not the point, Chiyakisoba. <CHIAKI SHUDDERS> Leeds had nowhere to go. None of us could possibly know what he’s gone through, but he’s here now. <SHE HUGS HIM AGAIN; HE DOESN’T HUG HER BACK, FOR HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THIS HUMAN CUSTOM> This can be your new home, dude. You’re welcome here.

Hachi: Oof, that was super cheesy.

Chiwan: Shut up.

<LEDAS’ EYES MEET RYORI’S WITH A SOFT GLANCE; RYORI SCRUNCHES UP HIS FACE, BUT MAINTAINS EYE CONTACT, HIS LIP TREMBLING BEFORE BREAKING INTO A MEEK SMILE>

Ledas: <COMING BACK TO REALITY> Alright, who wants to see another planet?

Tabashi: How about Jupiter? I want to visit Jupiter.

Ledas: Take us there, Theo, wherever it is.

Theodosius: <VOICE-OVER> As you command, so it shall be.

<5:27 P.M.>

<DR. USUBA IS IN A SMALL ROOM WITH TWO SCIENTISTS; SEVERAL STRANDS OF LEDAS’ HAIR HAVE BEEN PLACED ON CLEAR GLASS PLATES SPREAD ACROSS THE TABLE; IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM, OSCALPANO ATTENDS TO A CHAINED PRISONER, MONITORING HIM WITH A DATAPAD; GREEN BALLS OF ENERGY POP AROUND THE MAN’S BODY AS HE MOANS, HIS HEAD BOWED, HIS SKIN SIZZLING>

Dr. Usuba: That’s enough. <MONITORING FROM HIS OWN DATAPAD; THE REMOTE IN HIS LEFT HAND COMMANDS THE ARTIFICIAL CREATIONS> All the energy in his body hasn’t begun to fill their reserves. Let’s try it on the alien’s hair. There should be residual energy therein. Obviously, nothing close to his full potential, but this will give us a better idea of what we’re dealing with.

NRRA Scientist #1: Be careful not to overload them. We don’t have the means to measure the energy levels in the hair.

Dr. Usuba: Don’t worry about it. The Kiseibachi’s^[23] capabilities are state-of-the-art. They can handle significantly more energy than any human possesses. It’s time to see if they can handle him.

Oscalpano: Shit, that’s on another level.

Dr. Usuba: <DISPASSIONATELY IGNORING THE DEAD MAN> Interesting. We’ll have to adjust our calculations. I can fix this.

Oscalpano: You better. We’re paying you too much to mess this up.

Dr. Usuba: If this is just his residual power, it may take me more than a few days to adjust their energy tolerance. I’ll do what I can, but I fear this task may be close to impossible. But I won’t give up. I’ll die before letting the aliens win.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name, the overview effect, is a real phenomenon that astronauts have reported after seeing Earth from space, causing them to gain a new perspective on life. It's oftentimes an powerfully emotional moment, giving those who experience it a greater sense of connectivity with everyone down on Earth. The sense of awe at Earth's beauty coupled with its isolated fragility produces a complex emotional response. The students (except for Ledas) experience this during the sixth scene. I didn't have Ledas experience it because Earth is not his homeworld and he's seen many planets from space before. If he ever experienced the overview effect, it was seeing his homeworld from space. Every subsequent planet he visited had to have blunted the emotion.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 7: The Overview Effect
  1. scene 1: 4-5pm, Ledas and Bulma return, landing at Capsule Corp.; Ledas returns home, where he meets with Ryori, who is angry and disappointed that Ledas disappeared on him for two days, missing the trip to The Guac, also lamenting that he was caught by a cop only because Ledas hadn't been there; Ledas says he'll make up for it by taking the group on a trip to outer space, which excites the hell out of Ryori
  2. scene 2: scene of Jia, Ledas, and Ryori hanging out on Sunday afternoon and having a good time watching TV and commentating on it while also playing either a board game or a card game, with Jia becoming more endeared to them, questioning her loyalty to Cardinal
  3. scene 3: Monday morning, Jia is on the phone with Cardinal; she makes breakfast for the boys, and then they leave for school; they are late, so Ledas flies them there and has to comb Ryori's hair after they land
  4. scene 4: after the boys leave, Jia interacts with the Saibamen before receiving a message from Cardinal that he is ready for the genetic samples of Ledas; she plucks some blond hairs from the shower drain
  5. scene 5: at school, Miss Mahobi begins teaching the class about the "four modern species-level disasters", and they learn about King Piccolo; they are told they are to write an essay about one of the disasters for their history final on Friday
  6. scene 6: after school, the eight students head to Chiaki's house to set off from, as nobody is supposed to be there (his older sister Toshiko is, although she is busy and doesn't notice what they are up to); they set off, Theo piloting the ship and revealing that Ledas had just gone to Planet Frieza 173, of which an image is shown; Ledas is forced to explain a bit about this, but he doesn't do a good job of pretending to be a human; they set off, and within seconds, they are out of the atmosphere, staring down at the Earth below them, which affects all of them in differing ways
  7. scene 7: after returning to Chiaki's house, the group has some more reactions and question why Ledas has a spaceship, to which he kind of blows his cover, much to Ryori's annoyance
2. This outline is more accurate than chapter 6's, though there are still some things worth noting. Scene 1 is accurate to what happened. Scene 2 did not end up happening as a separate scene. I combined it with scene 1. Scene 3 happened pretty similarly to what the outline provided, as did scene 4, but I combined them because there was no reason to split that scene where the outline did. Didn't make sense pacing-wise. Scene 5 is accurate, although it ends up being the third scene due to the scene combinations of the previous four. The fourth scene in the final draft, a short scene with a Saibaman, wasn't outlined. That doesn't surprise me. It's a quick one, probably one I only thought up after writing the King Piccolo scene for a quick comedic punch. Short Saibamen scenes occur semi-frequently in the West City Saga, so it's no wonder I added another here. Scene 6 was split in two: one scene before they take off, and one scene in space. Because I split it, scene 7 didn't need to happen. The actual scene 7 was a new scene added in during the editing phase with Dr. Usuba, Oscalpano, and the rest of the NRRA rats. His plotline didn't exist in the first draft of chapter 7, so that's why it's not in the outline.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 7 are as follows:
1. 5/23/23: the excursion by Ledas, which should take the majority of two days, should irritate Ryori, especially since he wasn't told about it, but Ledas soothes things over by letting everyone onto his space ship and taking them up to get a look at Earth and the other planets (perhaps this part is in the chapter after the Guac stuff)
2. 3/13/23: the Japanese fascination with baseball is inexplicable; it's a boring game, and Ledas should be bored of it
3. 6/15/23: have Ledas return at around 4 pm on Sunday June 5, meaning he and Bulma spent about 2 hours on PF173
4. 1/25/23: have a scene where Ledas and Ryori are late to school one day, so Ryori flies there on Ledas' back; before they go into class, Ledas combs Ryori's hair, cuz it had been all messed up from the windy ride through the city
5. 4/17/23: have a scene where Jia is on the phone with Cardinal and in the background, she can hear Ryori cheering because he finally won the fencing game for the first time and she calls for the boys to come get breakfast, who are off-screen; this should occur on Monday June 6, 774; obviously, their fencing will be shown in a deleted scene
6. 4/26/23: for chapter 6, while Ledas/Ryori/Jia are playing the board game, have the subject of baseball come up when it's on TV, and then they discuss Jerry Springer and how Ledas finds it important to imbibe human culture, as the only other two pure-blooded Saiyans known to exist chose human life mates (and he wants to see what's so great about humans); he should also bring up Tarble as possibly being alive
7. 6/19/23: during board game scene, have them watch the three stooges, whom Ledas finds hysterical
8. 6/29/23: have Ledas spar with Vegeta in scene 1 when he returns to CC, before returning to his home, although this doesn't need to be shown in detail; on the walk back home, maybe have him think about using the senzu bean, but remind himself that he needs to save it for when he really needs it + wishing that Bulma will hurry up already and finish the new and improved Earth-model Rejuvenation Tanks
9. 7/1/23: during the second scene on the lazy Sunday afternoon, they should briefly stop on a romantic movie (which Jia wants to watch) while scrolling the TV after changing it from the boring baseball game; Ledas is alarmed when the woman kisses a man, not knowing what that is and thinking that she's trying to bite off his lips, which Ryori and Jia find funny and correct him on
10. 5/21/23: have the kids start calling Chiaki "Chiyakisoba" after he does up his hair like Neymar and it turns out horribly; 6/26/23: have Chiaki's older sister say this to him as he comes home with the group, revealing an embarrassing nickname to the rest of them
11. 6/28/23: have Chiaki pay off his sister to not rat him out to their parents, revealing that he has a ton of zeni from when Ledas won the prize for beating Master Kamome to everyone
12. 2/13/23: have Ryori and the others experience the overview effect by taking Ledas' gravity training unit into space to view the Earth from above; this has profound effects on them (look into the phenomenon of overview effect for more info)
13. 7/2/23: Toshi's name was changed to Shuku on this day
My notes for the second draft of chapter 7 are as follows:
1. 1/4/24: haven't said this yet, and of course "general polish" exists for every chapter, but my god does the opening scene dialogue between Ledas and Bulma need a tremendous amount of precision fixing
2. 1/4/24: getting into Ledas' description of Frieza's empire requires more dialogue exchanges
3. 1/4/24: Shuku should use the "tranquilo tranquilo" thing on her brother before asking him to take a hit of weed
4. 1/4/24: the clean-bots who vaporize the vomit should also spray the air with some kind of febreeze thing
5. 1/4/24: there should be much more discussion around Ledas being an alien before Chiwan's clarinet comment
6. 1/4/24: someone besides Ledas needs to suggest Jupiter ---> he merely says to theo "take us there"
7. 3/28/24: have Ryori be madder at Ledas before Ledas suggests using the ship to visit other planets to make up for ditching on him
8. 3/28/24: change 8:56 am to 7:56 am; 4/28/24 addendum: this requires the opening to start around 30 minutes earlier
9. 3/28/24: remove reference that only one bathroom has a shower; both of them do
10. 4/28/24: add a scene with Dr. Usuba, Oscalpano, scientists, and Cardinal testing residual ki on Ledas' ss2 hair, which leads to the mini bots frying and requiring more tuning up
11. 4/28/24: add a very short scene of someone delivering a package to Ryori and Ledas' house; Wilde is posing out front and the deliverywoman thinks he's a statue until he sneezes, freaking her out
12. 4/29/24: Kiseibachi is a pun on parasitic wasp in Japanese
I began writing this chapter on July 3, 2023. That was a good three-week gap after finishing the sixth chapter. Dunno why I took such a long break. Probably tired or distracted (or some combination of both). The writing went well for this chapter. I finished the first draft on July 11^th. I edited the scenes as I went. As a result, chapter 7 went through more drafts than most other chapters. After finishing the first draft, I spent the next day editing the final two scenes (the one at Chiaki's house and the one in space). I came back to the chapter (after finalizing chapter 6) on April 28, 2024. The Saibaman scene was added on this day after I second-drafted the first three scenes. I added the Usuba scene after second-drafting scenes 5 and 6. I went through the next few drafts with little trouble, finishing the chapter on April 30^th, and posting it to the wiki soon after.
Given that the journey to and from Planet Frieza took about 17 hours apiece, the fact that Ledas and Bulma returned to Earth at 4:22 p.m. implies they were on the planet for around two hours in total, most of which was not shown in the previous chapter. They likely spent the majority of that time in the med-bay gathering footage, notes, and sampling tech.
In Dragon Ball Z, Bulma considered Dr. Brief smarter than her. At some point, the story sort of forgot about this, although he did help her in the "Future" Trunks Saga. I wanted to restore Dr. Brief's prominence even if I didn't plan on showing him working on the device (no time for slow scenes like that with how much shit I had planned for the rest of the saga). I'm not entirely opposed to Bulma becoming smarter than her father at some point after the Cell Arc, but I don't like the way it was handled in the series. More respect should've been given to Dr. Brief's name.
"Take it easy? Seriously, Bulma? That’s never gonna happen. My training won’t stop for anything. I’ll just be careful going forward. I’m getting more used to this form, anyway. It’s not draining me nearly as much as it was last week." - it's rare for Ledas to talk so openly about his love of fighting. He of course is a Saiyan and loves to fight and train, but he usually does not say things this bold. He's tired and has been around Bulma for the better part of two days, perhaps explaining his frankness. This is also another instance of Ledas being unintentionally funny with his alien perspective, a recurring theme of the saga.
"Training isn’t the only thing that matters in life." - this line is very similar to the following line Chi-Chi says in DBZ episode 109: "Life is not just an interval between kung-fu matches". That will, incidentally, be the name of my 17-story one-shot collection. This was an intentional parallel. In the end, while she's not wrong, Ledas' retort is an equally good point. They don't and won't ever reach a middle ground on this issue.
I didn't want to go overboard with the Ledas and Vegeta sparring scenes. Too many would dilute their worth. The one in this chapter is only briefly shown in order to tell the audience that Ledas is growing more comfortable in Super Saiyan 2 and is starting to land legitimate blows against Vegeta. Honestly, I don't remember if I show another serious sparring session in the rest of the saga, but I'd say at least from this point, it's not strictly necessary, although I doubt it'd be like my past self to leave things here. Gotta at least show one all-out brawl to end this arc, but if I remember correctly, that won't be until the final chapter.
Whistling is harder than it looks (allegedly).
I don't think Ryori told Jia anything about Ledas (he might've vaguely told her he didn't know where Ledas was). She came up with that baseless speculation on her own.
"I dunno what you’re talkin’ about." - if Ledas were a video game character, this would no doubt be one of his catchphrases.
Jia disappoints me when she thinks Ledas was lying about being off-planet. She knows he has a spaceship. She could've just asked Bulma. Ledas' "top-secret" descriptor was tongue-in-cheek. If she had just asked for more details, he would've provided them, or Bulma would have. What they did wasn't anything to keep a secret over. Jia's assumptive nature gets the better of her in this moment.
Chicken korma was chosen primarily for the four naan joke, but it's a great food anyway. Jia cooks many exotic dishes for the boys, proving her worth time and time again. Without her, their palates would be decidedly underdeveloped.
Ledas' comment about four naan (and Jia's response) is a reference to this scene from Peep Show. That may be the most famous Peep Show moment ever. I had to reference it at some point.
Writing for Ryori in the first scene was tricky. I'd never shown an argument between him and Ledas before. Didn't exactly know how to do it. Took lots of editing to polish it to my liking. I wanted him to be mad at Ledas, understandably so, but be able to make up with him at the end of the scene. This story is not a drama between the two of them. I wasn't interested in a lingering feud. Also, the third deleted scene, slated to take place during the next scene, wouldn't have happened if they had still been at odds. Ledas opening up about his past, showing a vulnerable side, was greatly expanded upon during the editing phase to quell the tension between the boys. Whether or not it was successfully written is not for me to decide.
In the Namek Saga of DBZ, Roshi (and later Dr. Brief) was able to communicate with Bulma. That was scientifically nonsensical. I don't usually push for a more scientific approach over what we've seen in the series. Ledas not receiving Ryori's texts is one of those few times. It is thematically better that Ledas doesn't know Ryori has been wondering where he is than if he had responded via text. I wanted their confrontation to happen in person.
Most of the PTO is like Planet Frieza 173, as Ledas correctly surmises. I haven't gotten to this point in the timeline in The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization (I'm still in Age 770 as of the most recent chapter), so that level of decay hasn't been shown yet. I'll get there. Wanted to reference this in Ledas' dialogue though as a minor tie-in to my PTO story.
While Ledas has never heard of alcohol before, he's gotten drunk off of Xan fruit in The Forgotten.
It was important for Ryori to tell Ledas about Jia helping him with the police officer so that Ledas knows about her good deeds and can develop a fully-informed opinion about her. Becoming more friendly and loyal to her wouldn't have happened as smoothly if he hadn't known this.
I'm sure Ryori appreciated Ledas' apology, but he's still a thirteen-year-old boy. His immediate response is highly emotional, not rational in the slightest. Felt that would be more realistic than him just forgiving Ledas and having no hard feelings. Ledas is correct though—he won't be on Earth at all times, and Ryori's going to have to get used to that. He's been hanging out with him and their friends a lot. The only thing he did wrong was not telling Ryori about his plans with Bulma. Certainly, this is something to learn from. I don't suspect he'll be secretive about his off-world trips with Ryori in the future, seeing how badly it affected him.
Ledas, like me, does not enjoy coffee. I don't like the taste and don't want to become addicted to caffeine. I have an addictive personality, so I'd absolutely get hooked. I'm just thankful that it tastes so bad. So many people say that the smell of coffee is one of their favorites. I can't stand it. Don't know how taste can be so subjective, because it just smells and tastes awful to me. Maybe I haven't had the good stuff. Dunno. I have no desire to try to find gourmet coffee.
Also like Ledas, I hate baseball. It is by far the most boring major sport, in my opinion. It was basically invented to fill time before televisions existed (especially considering how many games there are in a season). Fair play to those who like baseball. I'm not gonna watch with you.
Ledas using the phrase "bored silly" is a reference to Babidi saying that to Fat Buu during one of the Buu Arc episodes (don't remember which). I always loved the way Babidi's voice actor said that line, influencing me to add it in.
I genuinely think Jerry Springer is a great show for the reason Ledas mentioned. Whether or not it's fake is another matter altogether (even if it was, it certainly wasn't all the time). Aside from the humor, the variety of topics and dramatic situations covered is psychologically interesting. It's one of the great shows in history, and it never got old.
I threw in that line about Tarble to imply Ledas and Vegeta have discussed the prince at some point off-screen.
Ledas revealing that he's down to stay on Earth because humans were "good enough" for Vegeta and Goku likely has a profound effect on Ryori. He knows by this point that Ledas isn't straight, so he has a chance. The fact that Ledas wouldn't be opposed to settling down with a human mate makes him feel like getting together with the boy is a real possibility. Up until now, he's just hoped for it. Now he sees it as realistic if things go well.
The little exchange between Ryori and Jia after Ryori swears shows that they're a lot closer after the events of the previous chapter. Ryori respects her and she enjoys the boys' company. Taking a lax approach to parenting has helped everyone get along better. She's smart to have adjusted her parenting style.
I plan on having Ledas use more Planet Trade Organization swears (like Frieza's stink gland) as I proceed with HOTD. It will be most entertaining to come up with these phrases. Ledas hasn't been a big swearer through the stories already posted, but as he gets older, he'll use them more often.
I put in the kissing scene so that Jia and Ryori could explain to Ledas what that is (off-screen of course). This was done mainly because I knew that Ledas and Ryori would kiss in the fourth deleted scene, which would occur a few chapters in the future. I didn't want Ryori to have to explain what kissing is to Ledas in the deleted scene. It'd ruin the mood. Plus, it's another moment of Ledas showing his alien, Saiyan nature to humorous effect. Fit in thematically with the chapter. Therefore, the primary reason I added it is partially masked.
The way Wilde deals with the old woman shows Ledas' influence over him. Ledas has surely told his Saibamen not to kill anyone unless necessary, because that would put them all in danger of getting investigated by the police (and they do not need to deal with that). This more casual trolly approach is Ledas' style. That he can command such loyalty from supposed bloodthirsty monsters indicates the wholesome bond they share.
Monopoly is a cruel, cruel game. If you have bad luck, it's not fun to play at all. Poor Carawa.
I figured Ledas would love the The Three Stooges. Their slapstick-style comedy matches up with Ledas' Saiyan nature, especially given he's still just a kid. I had a great time watching through various episodes to find some funny moments to show in the story (I believe there's another scene or two described in the saga). It's a tonally perfect show to appear in the West City Saga.
I began working on the third deleted scene on May 4, 2024. I wrote a little bit on May 5^th and 6^th. Returned to it on May 18^th and finished the first draft then. It was the seventh scene first drafted. I final drafted it on May 19^{th>, making it the fifth deleted scene to be finalized. Don't remember why this one took so long to finalize. Maybe it was due to it not being as sexy as some of the later ones? Dunno.}
The third deleted scene takes place before and during the second scene of chapter 7. It's another swordfighting scene. Ledas loses this one (he won the previous one), and so has to orally aid Ryori as his "punishment". Importantly, Ledas initiated this scene, making Ryori sure that Ledas likes swordfighting with him.
"Oh yeah, suck it, suck it! I win! Let’s fuckin’ go! On your knees! Bow before your king!" - the way this is presented in the chapter implies Ryori beat Ledas at a video game and was boasting. However, this is not the case. Ledas was servicing Ryori, so to speak. This line (along with what Ryori says right after) appears in the third deleted scene, leaving no room for ambiguity. A little cheeky on my part to include this. Jia's line about the PlayStation makes Ryori's dialogue appear non-sexual when that isn't actually the case.
Jia would've walked in on Ledas and Ryori, most likely, had Cardinal not texted her when he did.
Jia begins working against Cardinal in the second scene. This is her first act of open defiance against the New Red Ribbon Army. The fun she's had with the boys, exemplified in the ending of the first scene, played a critical role in her behavior. She hasn't exactly switched allegiance. She's trying to change Cardinal's opinion on Ledas. Nothing she says is wrong. She knows she's poking the bear, unlikely to convince Cardinal to drop his vendetta, but she has to try before the conflict escalates to a point of no return.
There is nothing Jia could have said to convince Cardinal to back off. His son is dead. Vengeance is all he lives for now.
Ryori has a rosy glow on his cheeks because he just got properly serviced. Great way to start the day. What Ledas is picking at in his teeth, nobody could ever possibly know. Couldn't be pubic hair? Nah, no way. That'd be silly.
While Ledas wraps his tail around Ryori to keep him in place, there is greater symbolism in that act. I've always thought that Saiyans wrap their tails around those they care about, particularly romantically. That is likely the case here, even if Ledas isn't doing so consciously.
There must be symbolism in the trash blowing across the campus grounds. I wouldn't have added that for no deeper reason, right? Couldn't be!
Ledas combing Ryori's hair is a sweet gesture. Kind of seems like they'd have to be more than just friends for him to do that, but I don't know. Mere speculation.
The way I wrote the Saibamen at the end of the second scene is based on how my cats used to act before I fed them.
The blond hairs Jia pulls from the drain are most likely pubic hairs and/or tail fur given that Saiyans' hair on their head doesn't grow after birth. I'd expect they don't fall out often for that reason.
The Saibamen only allow Jia to chase them out of the house because they know they did a ghastly thing and don't want to get on her bad side (lest she stop making smoothies for them). Plus, they can't attack her. That'd be rude. They have to burn through their energy somehow, and sparring in the backyard is the best way to manage that.
The four modern-day species ending disasters was something I thought about before I began writing the West City Saga. I pictured a scene where Ledas would learn about the Saiyan invasion and stir up a commotion in class. To build up to that, we have to start off with Piccolo. I thought through the entirety of Dragon Ball, and it seemed like 4 was the correct number. Bojack, Garlic Jr., and Cooler did not make their presence known enough to warrant placement on this list. Garlic Jr.'s anime saga also didn't make the cut because nobody remembered what they did while influenced by the Black Water Mist. There was certainly death and destruction tied to that, but not enough to match the other four events. The events are King Piccolo taking over the world, Vegeta and Nappa coming to Earth, Cell's appearance, and Buu's awakening. I don't focus on most of the class scenes, so the King Piccolo one just sets the stage for tomorrow's lesson about Vegeta and Nappa (pretty much the only class scene which is extensively written about).
I don't recall when I came up with the idea for Chiaki to wear his hair like that, but it was done in order to give him the nickname "Chiyakisoba", which I am of course very proud of, etc.
I had Chiaki focus on Goku's tail because he was the one who first saw Ledas' tail back in chapter 2. Ledas' identity is an unresolved plot point that has now come back to the forefront. Chiaki will once again speculate about who the boy truly is because of this in a later scene.
Wilde did well not to terrorize that deliverywoman. He's maturing before our very eyes.
Hachi and Chiwan's parents allowed them to go on the train because they've spent a week making friends and begged to go over a friend's house. After doing well in the first week, completing all their homework and doing decent enough on their tests, their parents felt like rewarding them. Maybe their mother was busy that day, too. You never know.
Ryori dragging Ledas by his tail is very silly and kind of intimate.
Chiaki's sink is based on mine, as is his reaction to Azashi's horror. I'll get to it eventually, promise.
There's nothing wrong with weed. I sought to normalize it by having people take hits throughout the story and never having it be considered an illegal activity. In the first scene, Ryori mentions that anyone who's 21 can use weed, which is the world I wanna live in. The seventh-graders are probably too young to have any (their brains aren't fully formed, after all), but nobody's perfect.
I didn't originally plan on having Shuku in the house, but the fifth scene was a little flat, lacking in content, so I added her and her boyfriend in to spice things up. Plus, her calling her brother "Chiyakisoba" is better than the other students coming up with the nickname.
The "tranquilo tranquilo" thing is condescending as heck. Typical sibling banter. I remember adding that in during the editing phase as it's a phrase I've been using semi-frequently in 2024. Wouldn't have been in there had this story been finalized a year or two prior.
I had a lot of fun with Chiaki calling out Shuku's slutty ways. Gave her a lot of characterization quickly through the use of humor. That's almost always the best way to do it. Chiaki is indeed being mean to his sister, but he's not entirely incorrect. The fact that she's never had a relationship last even a month implies she's either toxic or vapid or both.
Despite how they treat each other, Chiaki and Shuku would never rat on one another. In the end, that shows the true nature of their sibling bond more than their snide remarks and petty bickering do.
There was no reason for Ryori to lie about Planet Frieza 173. Ledas correctly calls him out there, showing comfortability in his identity as an alien. He feels like the kids are close enough friends (even though it's only been a week) that he doesn't have to hide anymore. I mean, he's taking them on a space trip. From Ledas' POV, this is the moment he brings the seventh-graders into his inner circle.
I always get anxiety when I have to walk around with one of my big bongs. The way Shuku did it is beyond reckless. That thing could've easily slid out of her grip and shattered on the floor. Then the stench of bong water would've taken weeks to get rid of. Not worth it! Her reckless actions symbolize the reckless nature of her relationships.
I could've written a deleted scene between Shuku and her boyfriend, but I just don't have that strong of an emotional connection to the characters to care about that. I try not to write sex scenes just cuz they're hot, but to develop relationships in meaningful ways through that hotness. Since these two weren't meant to appear again (I believe Shuku is seen briefly in one further scene), there was no point in developing this relationship. It's my guess that the pair broke up before the end of this saga, but I don't know for certain.
Like Ryori, I can't stand watching people throw up near me. I'm liable to join them. I hate throwing up, so it's just the worst.
The contents of Hachi's stomach reveal he likely ate cereal for lunch.
Chiwan, Azashi, and Ippi show off their different personalities at the looking window. That the view of Earth affects Chiwan so much implies she is an immensely empathetic girl. Azashi's not half-bad either, but you gotta be harder to be a chef. Ippi's vapidity is on full display. I don't hate Ippi, but that is who she is. Perhaps she grows out of her social media obsession when she's older and looks back on this moment with embarrassment. Perhaps not. We'll never know, probably. With that said, she does seem to be moved by the view, and her quote is near enough to a Carl Sagan one. She may have seen a TikTok about that. Dunno. I think she's just playing it cool for the video.
As mentioned in the first endnote, the kids experience the overview effect (sans Ledas). Seeing the Earth from a distance gives them a sense of awe at its beauty and isolation in a sea of blackness, giving it fragile and nurturing qualities. It invokes in them a sense of home, a need to protect it, a love for the beauty that sprung up on this little rock, impossibly. Being thirteen and thus more emotionally raw, the kids are hit hard here. This is a defining moment in their lives that they will remember for as long as they live.
Perhaps it's my human bias, but I thought it cool to have Ledas tell them that Earth is in fact one of the most vibrant planets he's ever seen. Coming from him, it means a lot, though they don't fully appreciate that, not knowing his past.
Ledas revealing he's an alien to the kids is thematically parallel to him accepting his sexuality and getting with Ryori. That is the subtext here. It's never outright stated. Ledas outright confirms he's bisexual to Chiwan, Chiaki, and Hachi in chapter 12.5 (they had previously thought he was gay since he was dating Ryori). This is a big moment of growth for him. He was no doubt anxious about revealing it but saw no better an opportunity to do so. It must've felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders when he did. Ryori being more apprehensive about that is also tied to being in the closet himself, something I explore more in Monkeyboy's First Vacation.
Chiaki made an intelligent connection to Goku. By all rights, Ledas should be his son. It's pretty ridiculous that he's not, given what Chiaki knows.
Ledas is offended when Chiaki thinks he's Goku's son because, while he respects Goku as a fighter, he doesn't think much of Goku as a person. He thinks he's kind of dumb and his lack of pride is weird to him. Ledas grew up with Vegeta. He expects Saiyans to act like Vegeta, and when they don't, for better or for worse, he tends to lose respect for them. This is not always the case, as Ledas respects Tarble after meeting him, but it's true in regards to Goku and Gohan. While Ledas can be playful and silly in battle and in day-to-day life, his brand of humor does not overlap with Goku's. He thinks the man's a bit of an airhead, which is ironic considering Jia thinks the same of Ledas (as we'll see in a later chapter). Ryori is also still a little mad at Ledas for not going to the Guac with him and the others, so he's not being as patient and thoughtful as he should be.
"Tabashi: Ugh, I hate sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating—" - this is a reference to an infamous line from Star Wars: Episode 2. Anakin is so cringe in that movie, but the memes it spawned will last forever, so in that way, the movie's not so bad.
Ledas glossed over a lot when explaining his past to the seventh-graders and why the Saiyans settled on Earth. It was easier that way. He took the practical approach, glossing over the fact he didn't come to Earth until 37 years after his planet's destruction. I'm not sure if he knows why Goku is on Earth, but maybe Vegeta told him. Dunno. 50/50 on that.
Chiwan shows emotional maturity beyond her years. Chiaki's flippancy around the issue perhaps hints at why they eventually broke up. But yeah, Chiwan is so good in the sixth scene. I'd forgotten these lines. I agree with Hachi that she was cheesy, but still, the sentiment is much appreciated. At the same time that the kids graciously welcome Ledas to Earth, Cardinal and his team plot against the boy. The difference in emotional intelligence between the kids and the old man is staggering. What a wretched old fool.
"<LEDAS’ EYES MEET RYORI’S WITH A SOFT GLANCE; RYORI SCRUNCHES UP HIS FACE, BUT MAINTAINS EYE CONTACT, HIS LIP TREMBLING BEFORE BREAKING INTO A MEEK SMILE>" - notably, in this emotional moment, Ledas looks to Ryori. He's the one who matters most to him. They reconcile soundlessly, bringing an end to their conflict in the chapter while also showcasing their compatibility. Sometimes words aren't needed if you're on the same page. Ledas would've been so much more isolated, so much more of a shut-in, had he not become friends with Ryori. Ryori doesn't realize how much their friendship means to Ledas. It means the world to him too, of course, but Ledas couldn't have done it without him. This is probably the most overt foreshadowing moment of their relationship. They are compatible, love each other dearly (as friends primarily, as of this moment), and have gone through a lot together. Ryori concedes that Ledas telling the seventh-graders about his past and about him being an alien is ultimately his decision. He matures here by not trying to "keep the peace" any longer. Really important moment in their relationship.
The idea behind the Usuba scene is that they're using Ledas' hair to test the Kiseibachis' power reserves. His hair only has trace amounts of ki, but that's still far more than any human they could test it on. These trace amounts are leaking ki by the second, so by the time they get their hands on them, the strands shouldn't register at more than a few thousand on the power level scale.
The ruthlessness of the NRRA is on full display when they barely react to the scientist's death. They don't mourn him. They're just worried about the Kiseibachis' energy capacity. This is in stark contrast to the way the seventh-graders treat one another in the previous scene. Thematically, the lack of loyalty here is indicative of the rottenness in their group and implies that they will fail.
Usuba is doing good for what he's tasked with. He doesn't realize how much he has to increase the Kiseibachis' energy capacity. He's not even close at present. The urgency with which Cardinal is forcing him to make the bots proves to be the NRRA's undoing. Impatience (something which I suffer from massively) can prove fatal when coupled with unbridled rage. It clouds one's judgment. As you'd expect, I feel ever so bad for Cardinal for making such a mistake. Poor guy.
Really good chapter. It's a quieter chapter, primarily character-driven. It maintains the humor of the saga, though it's a bit more dramatic than previous entries. Deeper stuff is explored. Chiwan shines as a character. Ryori does too. The tension between him and Ledas wasn't easy to write but has a really good payoff at the end. Everything's coming together. This is sort of a breather episode before shit hits the fan. I don't think I could've written the complex interweaving plotlines without an outline. Reading it back today has been rewarding. In some ways, I can't believe I was the one who created this. It took so much effort. I'm entertained as fuck. I'm super happy with how it turned out. Rereading this has been such a happy experience.

8. Just Saiyan

<5:31 A.M.>

Jia: <IN A LOW VOICE> Wake up. Ledas, wake up! Your ship’s having a meltdown. You have to fix it. Some of us are trying to sleep.

Ledas: <HALF-DREAMING> Nuh-uh, the Ginyu Force ate it, I swear.^[24]

Ledas: It’s nothing. Really, it’s nothing.

Jia: What’s going on? It’s ear-piercingly shrill. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?

Ryori: Did the ship break or something?

Ledas: No, it’s not broken.

Jia: Then turn it off. I need to get back to sleep.

Automated message: <TO THE TUNE OF HAPPY BIRTHDAY; SEVERAL VOICES SING TOGETHER (BANAS, MELOON, PAYAR, LIEME OF THE PLANTAINS)> Who’s a filthy stinkin’ ape? Who’s never gonna escape? Whose bones’ll be broken by daybreak? Aw, does widdle birthday boy want his cake? <THEY BURST INTO DERISIVE LAUGHTER>

Ledas: Queen Kusa’s mudflaps! <HE SCURRIES INTO THE POD, FUMBLING AT THE COMMAND CONSOLE> If I don’t stop it, it’ll keep going forever. Ugh. <HE WINCES, FINALLY TURNING OFF THE AUTOMATED MESSAGE> Sorry about that. I’d disable it if I knew how.

Ryori: Laughing about breaking your bones? That’s well and truly fucked. Shit, man.

Jia: Watch your language, Ryori.

Ryori: What? It is. Were those the guys on your team you were talking about?

Ledas: <NODDING> My superior officers in the Planet Trade. Odd hearing their voices after so long.

Jia: More importantly that means today’s your birthday. Is there anything you’d wish for me to prepare for—

Ledas: Please, no. I don’t want a party or anything. Definitely not. Excuse me from your human customs and let me train and chill like normal.

Jia: <WITH A LOOK OF SURPRISE> Suit yourself, but if you change your mind, let me know.

Ryori: <NOT TAKING THIS TOO WELL; PEERING INTO THE POD> Dude, how can you say that? That’s not normal. Like, at all. Come on, we should have a big party with everyone from school. It’ll be tons of fun.

Ledas: I’d rather not. I don’t want to have that much attention on me. It’s awkward. Just treat things like it’s any other day. Please, I don’t want to be made a spectacle again.

Ryori: The Planet Trade really messed you up. Damn, that’s sad.

Ledas: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s forget about it and get back to bed.

<10:04 A.M.>

<MS. MAHOBI LEADS A HISTORY LESSON; SHE HAS BROUGHT IN A PROJECTOR AND IS PLAYING A VIDEO OVER A SCREEN IN FRONT OF THE DRY-ERASE BOARD; THE Z FIGHTERS SANS GOKU AND YAJIROBE ARE SHOWN ON-SCREEN AS THEY FACE OFF AGAINST VEGETA, NAPPA, AND THE SAIBAMEN>

Ms. Mahobi: As per their manager, Mr. Yajirobe, Earth’s Special Forces were comprised almost entirely of participants from the, at that time, most recent World Martial Arts Tournaments. <THE CAMERA PAUSES ON GOHAN, WHO’S A SMALL CHILD AT THE TIME> All save this little boy.

Azashi: Do we know his name?

Ms. Mahobi: We don’t, but it seems these warriors are the same group who appeared at the Cell Games some six years later. The boy was with them there. We’ll discuss his potential identity during tomorrow’s lesson. For now, consider him as the likely son of one of the warriors.

Tabashi: Not that green guy.

Chiwan: Whoa, look, it’s Yamcha. He’s the star of the Taitans. No wonder. He’s incredible at hitting homers.

Ms. Mahobi: Yes, Ledas? Is there something you’d like to add?

Ledas: <VIGOROUSLY SHAKING HIS HEAD; NOT DOING A GOOD JOB OF HIDING HIS AMUSEMENT> No, ma’am.

Ms. Mahobi: Now then, the reason the aliens came to Earth remains unknown, nor why these fighters anticipated their arrival—

Ledas: <BURSTS OUT IN LAUGHTER AGAIN> By the frozen tits of Lord Cooler, Nappa went bald? I’m sorry, nobody told me Nappa went bald!

Ms. Mahobi: Ledas, please settle down. Do not interrupt me again. That was incredibly rude.

Hachi: <RAISING HIS HAND LIKE A GOOD BOY> Who’s Nappa?

Ledas: <STILL BETWEEN FITS OF LAUGHTER> That guy right there. Ol’ baldie. Man, look at Vegeta too. He’s so young.

Hachi: I don’t get it. How do you know their names?

Azashi: Yeah, exactly. I don’t remember their names ever being mentioned.

Ms. Mahobi: Enough, Ledas. We do not know the aliens’ names. Your interruptions are most unnecessary. Continue and I’ll have to give you detention.

Ledas: <WITH OVER-THE-TOP SARCASM THAT FURTHER EMBARRASSES RYORI> Right, my bad, we don’t know their names. Sorry about that.

Ms. Mahobi: <GIVES LEDAS ANOTHER DIRTY LOOK; CLEARS HER THROAT AND PROCEEDS WITH THE LECTURE> Here is an exclusive interview with their manager Mr. Yajirobe explaining more about this situation.

Yajirobe: <FROM THE TELEVISION; GNAWING ON A PIECE OF MEAT ON A BONE> Yeah, they’re aliens called Saiyans. You shouldn’t get anywhere near them if you want to keep your head. Our group of highly trained expert warriors is handling them right now. Goku will make those dirty space pirates pay. You can count on him.

Chiaki: Goku’s the one who killed King Piccolo, isn’t he?

Ms. Mahobi: Very good, Chiaki.

Chiwan: But I didn’t see him earlier.

Ms. Mahobi: That’s also true. For unknown reasons, Goku was not with the others at the start of the fight. Mr. Yajirobe went on to participate in the final stage of the battle against the Saiyans alongside him, of which there were sadly only a few snippets filmed. Let’s turn back to the beginning of this conflict. <A QUICK SCENE OF EAST CITY IN RUINS IS SHOWN FROM A HELICOPTER’S VANTAGE> The Saiyans, as they’re been identified, landed in East City on November Ninth, Age 761 around noon. Shortly afterward, the city met a violent, explosive end, the details of which are unclear. There were no survivors.

Ms. Mahobi: Here, we see the Saiyans with their —ahem—minions. These beasts comprised the first wave of soldiers. One of Earth’s warriors was lost against them. <THE SMOKE SHOWN ON SCREEN FADES, REVEALING YAMCHA’S DEAD BODY IN A CRATER, WHERE IT BELONGS> Afterwards, the remaining members of Earth’s special forces made quick work of the monsters.

Ms. Mahobi: Ledas! This is your final warning. One more interruption and I’ll give you detention. <HE FORCES HIMSELF TO SETTLE DOWN, BITING HIS LIP; SHE ONCE MORE CLEARS HER THROAT BEFORE PROCEEDING> Anyways, this alien was recklessly volatile. He destroyed no fewer than three helicopters that dared draw close enough to film many of these moments. Remember the bravery of those who risked their lives to provide us with this footage.

Chiwan: Wasn’t there also some town south of there that was wiped off the map? Nobody knows how but they think it was the Saiyans.

Ms. Mahobi: Yes, Cumin City. A casualty just as much as East City. There was no footage of the destruction, but it was destroyed under similar circumstances.

Tabashi: And a navy detachment too. Wiped off the ocean, gone. Thirty thousand men. My dad was one of them. You can’t tell me that didn’t happen. He was there. Just because they won’t acknowledge it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Ms. Mahobi: There is no footage of that, but I am sorry for your loss, Tabashi. Let’s try to stay focused.

Tabashi: The navy says it’s classified, but that doesn’t change a thing. They got wrecked and didn’t want to admit it.

Ms. Mahobi: Whatever happened, we know there were military casualties. King Furry has many times declined to share any alleged footage of the incidents, so all we can do is speculate. Now, in the realm of the tangible, <SHE CLICKS PLAY, MOVING THE SCREEN FORWARD TO A LATER TIME AFTER THE FIGHTING HAS FINISHED; THERE ARE CRATERS IN THE GROUND, AND THE BODIES OF YAMCHA AND TIEN ARE CLEARLY VISIBLE; THIS CAUSES A FEW OF THE KIDS TO GASP; THERE IS ALSO MUCH STATIC AND DISTORTION IN THE PICTURE QUALITY> we can see that the fight did not go in our favor at first. Several fighters lost their lives in the battle against the Saiyan, including former World Champion Tien Shinhan. Unfortunately, soon after we received these images, that big one destroyed the remaining cameras. It was almost an hour before we could get another camera crew out there. <SHE ONCE AGAIN UNPAUSES> This is what they found.

Ms. Mahobi: According to Mr. Yajirobe, at this point, the fighting shifted north, with Goku, himself, and the remaining warriors taking on the last Saiyan in the Gizard Wasteland.

Ledas: What happened to Nappa, though?

Ms. Mahobi: Once again, Ledas, we don’t know their names. The bald one supposedly died during the first stage of the battle and was not present when Mr. Yajirobe was there.

Ledas: <LEANING BACK IN HIS SEAT, HIS TAIL FLOPPING ABOUT MADLY> I don’t think any of those guys coulda beaten him. Nappa’s power at that time was like seventy-three hundred, I think Vegeta said.

Ryori: <UNDER HIS BREATH> Oh crap, you idiot.

Chiaki: <WITH A WRY CHUCKLE> What was that? Are you measuring his power in numbers? Life’s not a video game. The hell?

Chiwan: That’s embarrassing. Dude sounds like he’s got chūnibyō^[25].

Hachi: Cringe as heck.

Azashi: Oof.

Ryori: <MUTTERING TO HIMSELF, FACEPALMING> Make it stop.

Ms. Mahobi: That’s enough, Ledas. You have detention for one hour after school in this classroom. <THE OTHERS LET OUT ‘OOHS’; LEDAS’ EYES NARROW AS HE GIVES HER A RESENTFUL LOOK, BUT HE SAYS NOTHING; RYORI LOOKS TO HIM AND SLINKS LOW IN HIS CHAIR> Now then, continuing the lesson… <SHE ONCE MORE PRESSES PLAY ON THE VIDEO, WHICH NOW SHIFTS TO AN AERIAL SHOT OF THE GIZARD WASTELAND> Footage of this stage of the conflict is scant. We experienced worldwide earthquakes and atmospheric disturbances, rendering televisions unusable for some time. What is known is that the remaining members of Earth’s Special Forces defeated the aliens, taking no further casualties in the process. One helicopter from KBC, the team winning a Pulitzer for this, was drawn to the area, gathering footage of this crucial moment in the fight.

Ms. Mahobi: Here we can see the four remaining fighters and the first appearances of Goku and Yajirobe in the field.

Ledas: Gosh, Yajirobe’s only gotten fatter.

Ms. Mahobi: Ledas, I’m warning you. Not another peep.

Ledas: Alright, alright, I’m just sayin’...

Ms. Mahobi: <PRESSING PLAY ON THE VIDEO AGAIN; VEGETA HOLDS HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR, HIS HEAD PULLED BACK; THE FILM TRIES TO PLAY FURTHER, GLITCHING OUT AND LOOPING ON THAT ACTION INDEFINITELY> The alien rose at this point, releasing an explosive blast of some kind that interfered with the camera, bringing down the helicopter. Luckily, everyone involved was okay, but that was sadly the last footage they were able to capture. The alien was apparently dealt with shortly afterward.

<11:42 A.M.>

Tabashi: No, I’m not backing down. Those aliens fucking killed my dad! And you’re just like ‘em.

Ledas: Look, it was most likely Nappa who did it, and he paid for his actions with his life, so what do want from me? I wasn’t anywhere near Earth back then. I’m not responsible for his actions. I didn’t even know he did that until today.

Tabashi: Yeah, but you’re one of ‘em. You know them.

Ledas: <SHRUGS> Eh, I grew up with Vegeta. What do you want me to say?

Tabashi: You aliens aren’t welcome here! <HE THROWS A FIST AT LEDAS, WHO IS EATING A PLATTER OF CHICKEN SHUMAI; THE IMPACT OF THE BLOW DOES NOT MAKE HIM RECOIL WHATSOEVER; TABASHI PULLS AWAY CLUTCHING AT HIS WRIST, GRIMACING> What the hell? You’re like steel.

Ledas: <PERKING UP> Were you challenging me to a fight?

Ryori: <STEPPING BETWEEN THEM WITH HIS ARMS OUT> Whoa whoa whoa. That’s enough, you two. Ledas is a good guy. He’d never kill anyone.

Ledas: Well, I dunno about that. If they deserve it—

Ryori: <HITTING HIM OVER THE BACK OF THE HEAD> Shut up. <TO TABASHI> Cool off, dude. Ledas isn’t responsible for anything another Saiyan did. He’s not like them.

Tabashi: Whatever. You own a few of those hideous creatures too. You’re just like the guys we saw on the video today. It’s to the tee.

Ryori: He isn’t trying to conquer the world like they were. That disproves your point. Just sit down. You wouldn’t last a second against him. It’s for your own good.

Chiaki: <TO LEDAS> Damn, I wanted to see you send him flying.

Tabashi: Fuck off, Chiyakisoba.

Chiwan: Don’t blame Ledas for something he didn’t do. Besides, if we didn’t know him, we’d have never seen Neptune up close.

Ippi: Everyone’s saying our photos are fake. Nobody believes we went there.

Azashi: <VOICE RISING TO A FALSETTO> Oh, we so went there.

Chiwan: Yeah, who cares? Let the haters hate. They don’t know anything.

<2:42 P.M.>

Ledas: <IN HIS MIND> What was that? It felt familiar, almost like…

Ryori: Why didn’t you control that header? You should have no problem overpowering them.

Ledas: I’m not gonna power up beyond their level. That’d be cheating, and no fun either. Besides, I was trying to head it. Tabashi just got there first.

Ryori: He’s still pissed at you. You’re going to have to deal with that. I don’t think he was listening to me earlier.

<LEDAS’ WATCH, WHICH HE WEARS ON HIS RIGHT WRIST WHILE AT SCHOOL, GOES OFF, AND HIS DEMEANOR DARKENS>

Ledas: It’s time.

Ryori: Don’t mess this up, okay? She’d figure out everything if you—

Ledas: I know, I know. <THERE IS A GLIMMER IN HIS EYE AS HE SCANS THE FIELD> I’ll be back in a few. <HE TURNS TO LEAVE>

Ryori: We’re going to get her, you know.

Ledas: What?

Ryori: Ms. Mahobi. That shit she pulled. She’s gonna pay. I got your back.

Chiaki: Jeez, where’s he off to in such a hurry?

Ryori: <WITH A DRY CHUCKLE> Detention just got out. Don’t wanna be late.

Ms. Mahobi: Oh, it’s time. You’re free to go now, Ledas. I hope you’ve learned something today. Please don’t force me to do this again.

<12:26 A.M.>

<VEGETA, LEDAS, AND BULMA ARE IN THE LIVING ROOM AT THE TABLE; FROM A COMPUTER SCREEN ON THE WALL BEFORE THEM, BULMA BROWSES YOUTUBE; THEY ENJOY LEMON MERINGUE PIE; LEDAS IS ALREADY QUITE WORKED UP IN A GOOD MOOD, AND VEGETA APPEARS FAIRLY RELAXED>

Ledas: You know, he doesn’t even look that bad without hair. Kinda suits him. It’s just a pity Nappa didn’t make it like the rest of us. Which of them killed him? The humans didn’t know.

Vegeta: <WITH A THIN SMILE> Nappa disgraced himself in battle against Kakarot. When he came crawling to me, I put him out of his misery. The gap between them was significant. He wasn’t cut out for that level of fighting. Would’ve died on Namek anyway.

Bulma: What, like you?

Vegeta: Sh-shut up and find the video.

Bulma: <GRITTING HER TEETH> You know, it wouldn’t kill you to have some patience.

Vegeta: Ah yes, this was the best part. Look at Yamcha. He thought he’d won against that Saibaman, and then bang. Hah! Look at how he landed crumpled up like a pile of garbage. The pathetic fool wanted to take on the rest of the Saibamen. The careless bastard didn’t make sure he dealt with the one he was up against first. How sad. <HE GLANCES AT BULMA, WHO DOESN’T LOOK AT HIM> He was such a great fighter, too. Don’t you hate to see talent like that go to waste?

Bulma: That’s enough, Vegeta. Don’t try to start a fight with me right now, I’m not in the mood.

Vegeta: Quick, change the subject before I bring up how you used to be in love with him.

Ledas: Well, um, that’s something special.

Vegeta: Those Saibamen were only as strong as Raditz—a low-class Saiyan with Nappa and I whom Kakarot killed. That’s all Yamcha is.

Ledas: The humans in my class were unsure if you died in the battle, but I think the general sentiment is that you did.

Bulma: You’re learning about this in school?

Ledas: It’s one of the modern-day disasters we’re learning about in history. Gonna have to write a paper on it. Brutal stuff. Don’t think Jia’s looking forward to it.

Bulma: Huh. If that’s on there, then Cell’s going to be, and you’re there too, Vegeta. Aren’t they going to notice?

Ledas: The humans are pretty stupid. And so what if they do? It just means you tamed him.

Vegeta: <LOOKING AWAY WITH HIS ARMS FOLDED> I have not been “tamed”.

Bulma: You’re a lot more mellow than you were after Namek was destroyed. You’ve been different ever since Buu, though. Something changed in you after that battle.

Vegeta: My desire to become the strongest was growing out of control. I set unrealistic expectations for myself. Kakarot is the strongest for now. But I will change that.

Bulma: Ugh, not that again. I’ve heard this speech before.

Vegeta: <WATCHING TIEN VS. NAPPA ON THE SCREEN> Did they capture when that little clown man blew himself up? Didn’t put a scratch on Nappa’s armor. Oh, that was a fine moment. Pull that up.

Bulma: Come on, Vegeta, don’t be like that. You’re spoiling the mood.

Ledas: What about when Yajirobe cut off your tail? Is there footage of that?

Vegeta: <HIS LAUGHTER IS CUT SHORT> If I ever see that fat man again…

Ledas: He told me you couldn’t punch him to death. You must’ve been hella tired out by the time you fought him. Yajirobe’s power level isn’t even a thousand.

Vegeta: I know. There was nothing more I could do. The Earthlings had worn me down.

Ledas: <BARELY HOLDING BACK HIS LAUGHTER> The Prince of Saiyans unable to deal with a couple of pathetic Earthlings. Your father would hang his head in shame if he’d seen that.

Ledas: <GLEEFULLY> Finally landed a good one.

Bulma: You should stay here for the night. I haven’t gotten the rejuvenation tank operational yet, but we have a med-bay that could help. Your wrist is broken, isn’t it?

Ledas: I think so, but I can’t stay. I have school in the morning. C’mon Bulma, hurry up with the juvey tank already, I’m dyin’ over here.

Bulma: Korin’s all out of senzu beans?

Ledas: Seems to be. I don’t know how they’re always running out. Yajirobe can be such a pig. He doesn’t need to eat any of them if we’re being honest.

Ledas: <IN HIS MIND> No, gotta save it for an emergency. Can’t waste it. It’s a last resort.

Bulma: Be careful out there. Come back if your condition worsens. Our med-bay is on par with any hospital in the world.

Ledas: Thanks Bulma. Anyway, I have class in the morning, so I gotta go. See ya.

<7:59 A.M.>

Chiaki: Yo, what happened to you?

Ippi: <BRIEFLY LOOKING UP FROM HER PHONE BEFORE RETURNING TO A FURIOUS TEXTING ONSLAUGHT> You look like you were hit by a car.

Ledas: I’m fine, just went a little hard on the training last night.

Chiwan: What kind of training are you doing, boxing with grizzly bears?

Ledas: <GLANCES AROUND FOR A TEACHER; FINDING NONE, HE RELAXES> Nah, Vegeta got me good last night. I overpressed.

Chiaki: That’s the alien in blue. I remember you calling him that yesterday. So he still lives here.

Ledas: Chiaki, shut up. Imma tell your mom about you skipping your therapy yesterday if you keep that up.

Chiaki: <FLIPPANTLY> I have ‘post-modernist malaise’, so I’m not at fault for anything I do. I’m untouchable. Can’t touch me, biatch.

Ledas: Don’t say anything about it to the birdnest.

Chiaki: <DISTRACTED WHILE TEXTING SOMETHING ON HIS PHONE> Your secret’s safe with me.

<1:44 P.M.>

Ryori: No, it was on TV. I saw it. I remember back when that happened. I was like six or seven. Mr. Satan beat Cell. Everybody knows that, dude.

Ledas: I’m telling you he’s not stronger than Kakarot, Vegeta, and their friends. I don’t know anything about that conflict, but I’ll ask Vegeta about it tonight. I’d guess Kakarot beat that green guy. He’s usually been the strongest on the planet for the past twenty years. It wasn’t a human, I can tell you that, not least of which that blubbering oaf of a fighter you call champ. I could beat him in my sleep.

Ryori: Mr. Satan won the World Martial Arts Tournament. He’s no joke. How do you know if he beat the Cell if you weren’t there?

Ledas: Neither were you.

Ryori: He also beat Buu.

Ledas: That was Kakarot. He did all the fighting. Vegeta was there. He told me about it. Although, the way Vegeta put it, Mr. Satan did help, so he gets an assist.

Ryori: Let’s ditch and fly home.

Ledas: I like the way you think. Personally, I prefer the air.

Ryori: You go too fast though. You gotta remember I’m a human. I can’t take those high speeds.

Ledas: <LAUGHING NERVOUSLY> Right, sorry. I’ll try to slow down.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references the Saiyan focus throughout the scenes. Plus, "Just Saiyan" sounds like "just sayin'", which is one of Ledas' lines during the second scene.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 8: Just Saiyan
  1. scene 1: at home, Ledas’ PTO tech goes off, indicating it’s his birthday which Ryori marks on the calendar; Ledas demands not to have a birthday party, as he does not care for that human tradition
  2. scene 2: Ms. Mahobi goes into the second of the four modern species-ending disasters, the Nappa/Vegeta one; Ledas is dying of laughter and makes some comments, particularly on Vegeta and Nappa in front of the whole class, despite Ryori trying to stop him; Ledas lands himself detention due to being so disruptive
  3. scene 3: Ledas scams the teacher out of going to detention with a complex afterimage maneuver
  4. scene 4: the kids play a soccer match with some other students, and Chiwan's team defeats Ryori's; Ryori is once again annoyed at Ledas for not using his full power
  5. scene 5: Ledas and Vegeta talk about the battle against the Z Fighters 13 years prior, with Bulma providing some additional commentary; later, another training session with Vegeta leads to brutal injuries for Ledas, but he refuses to take the senzu bean; he gets all bandaged up
  6. scene 6: Ledas shows up to school in a bunch of bandages and casts, but appears to be fine
  7. scene 7: at lunch the next day, the students discuss the Cell Games, particularly Mr. Satan's role in the fight, and Ledas and Ryori get into a heated argument over Mr. Satan's power
  8. scene 8: Ryori and Ledas are walking home from school, talking about something, when they are ambushed by Cardinal's slime monster, which takes Ledas out easily in his current state after he flies away; the two of them crash on top of the Tottenham skyscraper
2. The first two scenes happened as the outline intended. I added a third scene where Tabashi confronts Ledas about his Saiyan heritage. The outline's third scene ends up being the fourth scene, and it's also combined with scene 4 of the outline. The fifth scene is accurate. Scene 7 ended up being scene 3, although it wasn't a Ledas/Ryori conflict, but a Ledas/Tabashi one in the final draft. The eighth scene ended up being the seventh scene in the final version and happened pretty much exactly as described in the outline.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 8 are as follows:
1. have Vegeta and Ledas hang out after a sparring session, cooling off or something similar, and have Vegeta tell Ledas about how Nappa killed 3 Z Fighters, all of whom are still around (and he also mentions the Saibaman fiasco with the failure who previously loved Bulma)
2. 12/21/22: have ledas show up one day in a lot of casts and bandages, extremely injured, but saying that he's okay
3. 12/27/22: history of Piccolo/Saiyans/Cell moved from chapter 3 to later chapter; this section may be an entire chapter on its own
4. 2/10/23: while Ledas watches the footage of Nappa, he says "Holy Father of Frieza, Nappa went bald?!"
5. 4/7/23: Ledas either swears on something or is just swearing in general at some stage: "On Queen Kusa's mudflaps; oh can't be using that one anymore... gotta remember Vegeta's back"; 4/17/23: have Ledas expand on this, saying that many of the soldiers he worked with were vulgar, which is how he knew that phrase, which Ryori should have been questioning him about how he knew
6. 4/16/23: have Chiwan recognize Yamcha when footage of the Z Fighters vs Vegeta/Nappa/Saibamen is shown in class, and a brief discussion on baseball is made wherein Ryori notes that he thinks the game is stupid and boring, while Chiwan notes that Yamcha is the greatest baseball player of all time
7. 7/5/23: based on a scene early in the second episode of Great Pretender Case 2, have Ryori offer Ledas some of his boba tea, and Ledas drinks down the entire rest of it, which makes the other students laugh, but Ryori is none too pleased by having no more boba ---> this also shows some level of intimacy between the two
8. 4/21/23: although i came up with this idea probably 3 months ago, forgot to change it until today: the 4 disasters are King Piccolo, Vegeta/Nappa, Cell, Buu
9. 4/13/23: during their soccer match, have Chiwan beat Ryori with a slick move, leading to a goal, which causes Ledas to say "she gave him a right proper smashing", much to Ryori's annoyance
10. 7/12/23: after Chiwan scores her goal, have her thrust her crotch in Ryori's face (he's on the ground), which he is repulsed by
11. 4/19/23: Ryori and Ledas should have a fight over Mr. Satan especially surrounding Vegeta, who appears in both the Nappa tapes and the Cell Games tapes (leading to the kids to speculate that the alien joined Earth's special forces), and Ryori should really believe that Mr. Satan beat Cell, leading to a fairly heated exchange
12. have Ledas show up to class (not in the first week) with casts on his fingers, knees, arms, etc, and look to be in horrible shape, but be fine
13. 7/12/23: in the third scene, have Ledas sense Cardinal's team finally activating the slime monster thing - he can sense a power similar to his own in Central City, distracting him during the soccer game
14. 5/20/23: have the building that ledas/chiaki/ryori sneak up after escaping the Guac be the tottenham bottling company, which is also a company seen in Crimson Shores
My notes for the second draft of chapter 8 are as follows:
1. 7/23/23: have a scene where Ledas senses Usuba's work
2. 1/5/24: have them discuss the Plantains' birthday message some more
3. 1/5/24: have Tabashi want to continue fighting Ledas, but Ryori makes the fight stop
4. 1/5/24: during the Vegeta/Bulma/Ledas scene, change Bulma's dialogue line to "You know, it wouldn't hurt to have a little patience!"
5. 1/5/24: as Ledas flies back home after leaving Capsule Corp., have him think in his mind that he needs to save the senzu bean for an emergency, since it's the only one he has
6. 3/28/24: Mahobi incorrectly says there is no footage of the second phase of the fight; remove this mention
I began writing the first draft on July 28, 2023. The writing went fairly smoothly. I wrote like 3/4 of the second scene before moving onto the third scene (completing it before returning to the second scene). The reason for this was I needed to make sure of certain specific things in the fight between Vegeta and Goku/Gohan/Krillin/Yajirobe before writing about them. Scene 3 was finished on August 2^nd. I finished scene 2 on August 3^rd (the first drafts of the fourth, fifth, and sixth scenes were also finished that day). The final scene was completed on August 4^th. I lightly edited the chapter on August 21^st, but did not return to it until the second draft phase in 2024. This chapter was edited throughout the writing process. While the writing went quickly from when I began the first draft, I edited what I had worked on already almost every day, meaning the chapter was probably second or third drafted if we're being technical by the time the final scene was written. The official second draft began on May 1, 2024. The chapter was completed on May 4^th and posted to the wiki that same day.
The fact that Ledas is still sleepwalking in this chapter implies he hasn't mastered Super Saiyan 2 yet. It would've been hella bad writing to have him master it so easily and quickly. Not gonna happen.
I'll admit there's no good reason for Ledas to have his space pod sitting out in the backyard. With that said, it's not like everyone acts entirely logical 100% of the time. Ledas can be lazy when it comes to anything besides food and training. It does not surprise me he left his pod sitting out there in the backyard and forgot when his birthday was (despite the anxiety it brings). He's my main character and a lot of his personality traits are based on my own. I'm weak in the same ways.
Ledas was indeed dreaming about that moment he and Vegeta met up with Kuriza on Frieza's spaceship, pretending they hadn't eaten his space crab ice cream. This is detailed in How To Act Like a Professional Mercenary. Even in his dream, he maintains the facade. Excellent discipline. This early mention of Kuriza foreshadows the next saga, where Kuriza will be the main villain.
Chapter 8 is basically a freeroll. I had a lot of fun overall. The first scene exemplifies this. I was feeling it at this point in the first draft. I was really into this saga. Now's when the fun begins.
I spent a lot of time coming up with Ledas' birthday song. Went as cruel as possible with it. I know the beat doesn't entirely match up with the happy birthday song. That's intentional. The main thing to consider is Ledas' trauma related to his birthday—what should be a happy day has been ruined by the Plantains. Even in death, they haunt him. He hasn't properly celebrated a birthday in years. Not since he was little (basically before he could remember). I'm not gonna lie. My own life played a factor in this. I'm usually quite lonely on my birthdays. I try to make the best of it, try to treat myself, etc., but it doesn't matter. I don't have anyone. Ledas' situation is fairly bleak, partially of his own choosing. He doesn't wish to celebrate his birthday because he doesn't want all that attention on himself. It's awkward, forced, and he doesn't know what to do in the moment. I can't think of an easier section to write. I've experienced this many times over. One day I'll find my Ryori, I'm sure of it. I can't give up hope. To give up is to admit I should just end it all, and I'm not going to do that. The first scene, as comedic as it is, hits very close to home. A staple of the West City Saga is using comedy to mask more dramatic feelings. This is one of those times. One day, I'll look back on this as a blip on the radar, an example of toughing it out in a storm. It's difficult to have proper perspective when the gale winds howl around you.
Ledas has severe PTSD from that birthday song. As funny as it is in a vacuum, it hits him hard. He misses his parents a lot.
After the message plays and Ryori tries to empathize with Ledas, Ledas detaches himself from the situation. He can't invest any emotional points into the moment lest he break down. Ledas is not one to break down. Perhaps a trait he inherited from me. Gotta continue. Gotta go on. Life waits for nobody. There's nobody there for you. Nobody cares. You still have to get up tomorrow and perform. Self-discipline is key. It isn't easy.
Celebrating one's birthday doesn't seem like a uniquely human custom. Ledas is self-medicating hard in that moment. He enjoys spending time with Vegeta and Ryori and Jia, but he doesn't want the focus put on him. Whether that aspect is toxic or not, whether that is the wrong mode of thinking, I cannot say, for I feel similarly. And yet it's hard to maintain composure all the same. My heart aches for Ledas.
Ryori trying to goad Ledas into having a party comes from a wholesome place. With that said, Ledas has trauma around his birthday that he's not dealing with well. It'll take a few years to get him to a better place. Ryori wants the best for his friend/swordfighting partner. He's not trying to be overbearing, but it comes off like that. Can't help him right now. It'll take time to heal those wounds. He's not a therapist. I admire Ryori for what he does in scene 1 but it's not enough. He and Ledas aren't a couple yet. They haven't gone from friends to lovers quite yet. This is too soon in the timeline. I feel for all sides in this moment. It's really tough. Ryori shows tremendous quality here. Ledas just isn't ready. His wounds are too deep.
As dour as the first scene is, let it be known that eventually Ledas is able to celebrate his birthday. By the time of Monkeyboy's First Vacation, he's a lot cooler with his friends showing up to comfort him on "his day". I won't say Ledas gets over this, for that'd be simplifying it to a ridiculous degree, but his coping mechanisms in Age 776 are a lot better than in Age 774.
"I don’t want to have that much attention on me. It’s awkward." - asking for a friend, but does one overcome this?
The second scene is one of my earliest ideas for the West City Saga. I prepared for it while watching through the Dragon Ball series for my 17 one-shot collection prep. This was back in 2022. The 17 one-shot collection will happen soon, probably a few months after this commentary (it's late September 2024 that I'm writing this). I'll do a few more rewatches of the series as I'm working on that collection. In any case, I set up notes during the Vegeta Saga going over the specific shots I wanted to focus on during Ms. Mahobi's history lesson. I mapped out most of the scene months before writing it. This made the writing go fairly smoothly (aside from one hiccup where I needed to go back and rewatch footage of a certain part of the fight).
It was no mistake that Ledas gets the treat of seeing young Vegeta and Nappa again on his birthday. I specifically paced the story to make this happen.
It felt realistic for someone to notice Yamcha, given he's a baseball star. Chiwan probably likes baseball. Shame on her for having different tastes than me.
Ledas hasn't seen Nappa since he was four years old, and back then Nappa had hair. He's laughing because Nappa went bald, but he's also thrilled to see him again, unable to contain his excitement. Nappa and Ledas weren't super close, but he has a soft spot for the man because he helped train Ledas back on Planet Vegeta.
Back in the day, Ledas would've gotten detention just for saying "tits". Kids can curse nowadays with little consequence. Still, by Ledas' standards, that was a vulgar line about Cooler. I'm sure Banas came up with that, making it a subconscious choice given what happened in scene 1 with Ledas' space pod.
Ms. Mahobi is right about Ledas being rude. None of them can understand the emotions Ledas is feeling, though. He's an introvert and rarely speaks up in class. This shows how significant seeing Nappa and Vegeta is to him. He doesn't give a shit about interrupting his teacher. He doesn't care about the class at all. It's utterly meaningless to him (aside from spending time with friends). This is the first time he's seeing something he's genuinely interested in. Remember that Ledas is still a kid, himself. Even if he's not quite 13 years old, his brain hasn't developed beyond that age. This is a moment of supreme immaturity and impoliteness. I can't exactly blame him, but I can't blame Mahobi for her reaction either.
I get why Ledas talks about Nappa and Vegeta. He's making a mistake, though, doing this in front of Ms. Mahobi. He just can't contain himself. He's too impatient. He should've told the kids about how he knew them during lunch. I think he's just so overcome with emotion that he can't help himself.
Yajirobe feasting in the restaurant while talking to reporters is a filler scene that I loved in DBZ. It doesn't break canon in the slightest, so I've always considered it to have occurred. By showing it in this chapter, it's now confirmed that that is canon to my universe.
To be fair, the history lecture was designed to make Ledas break, as it features Yajirobe too, one of Ledas' good friends, pigging out and acting like a tough guy. Coupling this with seeing bald Nappa and young Vegeta, is the perfect disaster. I'm so glad things played out like this in canon. This payoff has been a long time coming.
I had Yajirobe reveal them to be Saiyans because Ledas revealed to the seventh-graders that he's a Saiyan in the previous chapter. Thus, everyone should immediately realize what's going on here (except for Ms. Mahobi). Whether or not they picked up on it is difficult to say. Not all of them pay close attention to class lectures (particularly not Ippi or Chiaki).
The Saibamen being there was another bonus, considering the seventh-graders had met Ledas'. Seeing Saiyans use Saibamen to try to conquer Earth is a far-cry from Ledas' situation, but it must make them feel uneasy knowing what those beasts are capable of. They didn't realize just who they were dealing with until that moment.
Cumin City was destroyed in filler, but it's filler that doesn't contradict canon, so it's canon to me. I came up with the name of the city. It was unnamed during Nappa's rampage.
I don't remember exactly when I came up with the idea that Tabashi's father was killed by Nappa, but it was certainly before I wrote the first draft of this chapter. I wanted him to have a conflict with Ledas, to provide some drama and give Tabashi a more prominent role in the story, and that felt like a good way to do it. Plus, I wanted to contrast the way he thinks about Ledas with the way Usuba does. Usuba experienced loss too at the hands of Nappa. His actions show that he's worse than Tabashi on every level, and his mistakes cost him his life, whereas Tabashi and Ledas are able to make up.
The footage of Piccolo's body and Nappa's chest piece is fanon. That was not shown in DBZ. It's logical that news crews would return to the battle site to try to figure out what happened, so I don't think I'm going out on a limb with that.
The Daizenshuu incorrectly states Nappa's power level is 4000. 7300 is more accurate to what we saw in his fight against Goku. Nappa was seriously holding his own (though he took blows, but then again, he took hits from the other Z Fighters who were significantly weaker than him, so that's just his fighting style) until Goku used Kaio-ken. Gotta put some respect on Nappa's name.
The chūnibyō comments are on point because it sounds like Ledas is being a cringelord. He's definitely not, but they just don't know what Ledas knows. Again, this conversation would've been better suited during lunch where he could've properly explained himself. Ledas lets his emotions get the better of him in scene 2.
Ledas earned that detention. Whether teachers should be allowed to give detention in the first place is something I'll discuss in chapter 11's endnotes. With that said, from this moment onward, Ledas no longer respects Mahobi at all. He wants to get her back. Justified or not, he feels slighted. He's going to make her pay somehow.
Ledas getting detention on his birthday is a great present, don't you think?
The scene of Vegeta falling from the sky is so badass in DBZ. I wanted the kids to see it. The camera crew capturing the moment is a fanon idea, but one I knew I wanted to include as soon as I came up with scene 2. It's just such a cool moment. They needed to experience it like I and so many others did.
The ending of the second scene foreshadows Tabashi's confrontation with Ledas. Also, it shows that despite how annoyed Ryori was with his friend's outbursts, he can see how much this footage means to him, how much this lesson ties in to his past, and from that, his position softens and he feels for him. I'm sure knowing this was Ledas' birthday played a factor, as did the fact that Ledas never acts like this without good reason. Ryori's maturity in this moment hints at his romantic interest in Ledas.
Tabashi's anger is understandable, though misplaced. He clearly has unresolved issues around his father's death. While that sucks, he shouldn't be taking it out on Ledas. It's speciesism to imply that Ledas is just like Nappa and Vegeta. I mean, he kind of is, but not in the way Tabashi asserts. Ledas is a greyer character than either of them (particularly Age 774 Vegeta), but he still won't kill people for sport anymore. He only did that under Frieza's orders. He likes fighting as all Saiyans do and doesn't mind killing people, provided there's a good reason for it (like a bounty being on their heads). Tabashi is way out of line.
As serious as the confrontation is, it's undercut by Tabashi pointing a french fry at Ledas. This is a great example of the humorous tone I was going for in this saga.
Tabashi saying Ledas isn't welcome on Earth goes into one of the big themes of the saga: Ledas trying to find his home, his place, after The Forgotten. He's been living with Ryori but hasn't really felt like he fits in on Earth. Finally, he was beginning to fit in by becoming friends with the seventh-graders, and after taking them on the ride in his spaceship and telling them about his past, Chiwan openly welcomed him to Earth. This is a step back. With that said, it's neither Chiwan nor Tabashi's place to decide if Ledas is welcome on Earth (as sweet as Chiwan's gesture was). This sort of arrogance seems childish until one remembers Cardinal and his team are fully on board with Tabashi's mode of thinking.
Chicken shumai is delicious. One of my favorite foods of all time.
Punching Ledas out of nowhere was a dick move. Had Ledas not been a Saiyan, that would've led to a pretty serious fight that would've likely gotten Tabashi and possibly Ledas suspended if not expelled. Tabashi's extremely lucky he didn't end up in military school over that outburst.
Ledas saying he'd kill people if they deserved it is a big difference between him and Goku. Heck, even if they don't deserve it, as long as there's a bounty on their head, he'd kill the person (not that it's his job to figure out if the bounty was put out in good faith or not).
Ippi probably got loads of hate for her TikTok videos. I bet her "fans" thought she used AI or doctored the vids somehow. And honestly, can you blame them? It's not like spaceships are common in the Dragon World. Nobody would expect some random thirteen-year-old girl who said she visited Neptune to be telling the truth.
Sumiso is based on the Japanese word for vinegared miso, a type of condiment in Japanese cuisine. Most of the train lines are also based on Japanese condiments, although I don't think I mentioned many of them by name (I do have all of the train lines detailed in my notes, though).
The soccer game is fairly symbolic. It's always nice to show the kids playing together, their bonds growing stronger. Let's briefly explore what their positions symbolize in terms of their personalities. Azashi plays as a central forward because he's a confident, assertive boy. Chiwan is a left winger because she has great pace and technical skill, and is clinical with her movements. Hachi is the left fullback, serving more as support to Chiwan while also being a defender because he's more passive than his sister. Tabashi plays central midfielder because he's not particularly clinical in front of goal but has excellent vision for passing while also showing the ability to use his large physique to play defense when needed. Chiaki is a goalie because he's lazy. Nah, but in all seriousness, Chiaki is the goalie because he has sharp reflexes and doesn't have to run as much as the others. He's very much willing to throw himself to the ground to make saves, which not all soccer players are. Ippi is a fullback like Hachi because of her generally passive demeanor. She doesn't have as strong of a role in the passing game, which fullbacks can get away with if they have good pace, which she does, although that's not to say she can't cross the ball (she's just not great at it). Ryori is a central defender, because holding down the fort is his strong suit. Just because he's a defender doesn't mean he's passive. You wouldn't be a good defender if that was your main personality trait. Central defenders have tremendous pressure on them to stop attacks constantly. His agility and recovery, mentally and physically, played a role in him taking this position. Ledas plays defensive midfielder because he's trying not to overtake the game. Pretty much any position he plays, he'll be the best athlete on the field, even reducing his power level to the others' level (he'll always have far superior stamina). Defensive midfielder allows him to have direct link-up play with Ryori, which is quite symbolically important, and he can spread the ball around to the others to allow them to progress further down the pitch, gaining the glory on good attacks. He also has to play defense, which is better than playing offense because he can delay the opponents' scoring rather than putting 15 goals past the opposition in 10 minutes.
It was critical that Ledas senses Usuba working on the Kiseibachi at some point so that he knows where to go to confront the New Red Ribbon Army after the attack on his Saibamen in chapter 10. He is of course sensing his own power which weirds him out, causing him to lose focus on the game.
Tabashi fouled Ledas. That goal would not have stood had there been VAR. Game's gone man.
Chiwan acts her age when she crotch-thrusts into Ryori's face. She doesn't know he's gay at this point, and for a gay kid like Ryori, having a girl's crotch in his face is just about the worst thing that could've happened to him. At least he doesn't have Hannibal Lecter's sense of smell.
Ryori telling Ledas that they'll get Ms. Mahobi for giving him detention is a defining moment in their friendship. He's so happy to have a true friend. The appreciation he feels toward Ryori in that moment is a complex emotion that has undertones of romanticism, probably subconsciously. I wanted to have this moment occur before the next chapter where they start dating because it leads into that in a big way. Ledas and Ryori are good friends, but the way Ryori says he has Ledas' back still matters a lot, affecting the Saiyan deeply.
Maintaining an afterimage for an hour is an incredibly advanced technique. This is one of the more impressive things Ledas does in the saga.
Again, I don't think Mahobi was wrong to give Ledas detention for what he did, and her speech at the end of the fourth scene isn't filled with malice. It's just that Ledas hates her now, as any kid in his position would, and the story has to progress from there. They're going to get her even if she doesn't deserve it. This is another example of how Ledas isn't like Goku. He's a grey character, and he doesn't always (or often) make ethical decisions.
After the events of the second scene, I wanted to explore Ledas' thoughts about seeing Nappa and Vegeta with people who could appreciate it. That meant going to Capsule Corp. where he could speak freely. This is Ledas' true birthday present. I believe this is the most relaxed and happy he's been in the story up to this point.
I always have loads of fun writing Vegeta and Bulma banter. It's just so much fun. They play off each other perfectly. This is already one of my favorite chapters. Adding them in elevates it to another level for me personally.
Judging by dialogue in the God of Destruction Beerus Saga, Vegeta has never gotten over Yamcha dating Bulma. He hates the guy, thinks he's pathetic, and tears him down at any opportunity. Can't say I entirely blame him. Yamcha is kind of pathetic. His death against the Saibaman was bad. Super careless. Lucky that there were others to bail him out in the end. Vegeta's emotions regarding Yamcha show that he still feels a little insecure about Bulma getting back together with him (which would never happen).
"Gonna have to write a paper on it. Brutal stuff. Don’t think Jia’s looking forward to it." - I forgot about this line. Not gonna lie, it made me laugh. With that said, Jia should've known what she got herself into demanding Ledas attend that seventh-grade accelerated class. This is entirely a problem of her own making.
Don't let Vegeta gaslight you. He's absolutely been tamed.
Chiaki already connected Goku from the King Piccolo disaster to the Saiyan one. No doubt they'll notice Vegeta at the Cell Games. Ledas' speculation about him being tamed seems most logical to me. I didn't end up showing this scene because it didn't have enough plot or character relevance and would have to be in this chapter. There wasn't enough room. It wouldn't have been impactful enough to warrant a scene, as funny as the moment would've been to Ledas.
Like Vegeta, I love Chiaotzu's pointless sacrifice. Ever since I first saw Dragon Ball Z, that moment made me laugh. Chiaotzu doesn't do enough to earn an emotional send-off. The way he goes out perfectly symbolizes his character.
Vegeta will see Yajirobe again. They attend Mr. Satan's party in the Tarble special. I have a story about them running into each other there in my upcoming 17 one-shot collection. Ledas gives Yajirobe a fine present—a shirt that says "Vegeta couldn't punch me to death" that I'm sure the Saiyan Prince would appreciate.
I had an image in my head of a scene where Ledas shows up to school covered in bandages. That's why Vegeta beats him so terribly in the fifth scene. Plus, this nerfs Ledas for the fight against the Kiseibachi. Ledas is humbled just when he thought he was getting somewhere with Super Saiyan 2. Long ways to go yet.
Ledas is smart not to use the last senzu bean. If he had eaten it there, Ryori would've died in the next chapter, and that would've been awful.
If I were Ledas flying home at night, I'd also fly on my back (provided I'm high enough in the air to not hit any buildings or trees). Such a little thing serves to calm his mind and end his birthday on a quietly introspective note. I've no doubt he was thinking about his parents there, especially considering seeing Nappa earlier that day must have brought back old memories of his youth.
It's a good thing Ledas can write with his left hand, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to do go to class.
Love Ledas and Chiaki's banter. You can see they're close friends now. The unserious tone is most enjoyable.
Even if Ledas had told Mahobi that he got beat up by Vegeta, the spiky-haired Saiyan from yesterday's history lesson, she'd never believe him and might've given him another round of detention for, in her view, mocking her with that "lame" excuse.
Ryori's always been a massive Mr. Satan fanboy. If we're being honest, he probably fapped to him before. Ryori definitely likes martial artists. Muscley guys are hot, so who can blame him? The Cell Games history lesson was left off-screen, but there were still parts of it that I wanted to explore. Given Ryori's a Mr. Satan fanboy and Ledas knows the truth, the boys having an argument over who defeated Cell seemed inevitable.
"Personally, I prefer the air." - this is my favorite Falco quote. Had to use it.
Tottenham are the biggest bottlers ever. I'm pleased to give them a well-deserved shoutout in the story.
The Kiseibachi only damage Ledas because he's so weak. They wouldn't have been a challenge otherwise. Had to rig the game against Ledas to make things interesting.
This is the first chapter since chapter 4 to end on a cliffhanger, and a dire one at that. Ryori looks like he's about to die (which is true). The escalation here has been 8 chapters in the making. Love how it went from 0 to 100 in the final scene.
This is a great chapter. Had a lot of fun with it. The history lesson was a blast to write, as was the scene with Ledas, Bulma, and Vegeta. The Plantains' birthday song was super fun to come up with, too, and the mixture of humor and angst, while tricky to write, provided a rewarding reading experience. I love this chapter. It may be my favorite, but I'm not entirely sure. If it's not, it's up there. It's at least in the top three. This is easily Ledas' most memorable birthday. Had to pull out all the stops on such a momentous occasion. Just a super entertaining chapter overall.

9. Knot Me Daddy

<1:51 P.M.>

Ryori: What happened? What the hell’s going on?!

Ledas: I’m not sure. A bunch of tiny buggers attacked me. They’re unusually powerful for this planet. Mechanical, too. <HE SHOWS RYORI THE DAMAGED DRONE>

Ryori: <GETTING TO HIS FEET> Dude, someone’s out to get you.

Ledas: They’ll need to create something way stronger than those things to hurt me. Even in my current state, they’re no match.

Ryori: I mean, you look terrible. Are you okay? Your casts are burnt. You’re bleeding all over.

Ledas: Feel drained, like I’m running on fumes, but I’m alright. They were using ki. Felt like they were sucking it out of me. Weren’t able to get all of it, luckily. It’s nothing to worry about. But how are you feeling? You were in rough shape. Are you alright?

Ryori: <LOOKING HIMSELF OVER> What do you mean? I’m fine.

Ledas: Now you are. I had to give you the senzu bean. You might’ve died otherwise.

Ryori: <A NOTE OF CONCERN RISING IN HIS VOICE> What? You said that was the last one. Now you can’t heal. Are you sure you’re fine? You don’t look fine.

Ledas: <FLASHING A GRIN> Is that a hint of concern I’m detecting? Are you worried about me? C’mon, say it. Say it.

Ryori: <WITH A HINT OF EMBARRASSMENT; HIS CHEEKS GO PINK> Shut up. I just don’t want to plummet from the sky and splatter onto some dude’s hovercar on the way home.

Ledas: I may not be able to train with Vegeta for a couple of days, but I don’t need to go to the hospital. I’m fine, trust me. Hopefully, Bulma will finish the juvie tanks soon. Don’t wanna have to take it easy for too long.

Ryori: Jeez, you Saiyans are something else. Don’t you ever get tired of training?

Ledas: <WITH A LOOK AS IF RYORI HAD INSULTED HIS GRANDMOTHER> What kind of question is that? Do you ever get tired of Halo 2, or the taste of ice cream? How about the taste of my—

Ryori: Why you gotta be so lewd? Someone could overhear.

<2:04 P.M.>

<DR. FUSEN’S OFFICE, DOWNTOWN WEST CITY>

Chiaki: I didn’t mean it like that. More like the way the Brits use it, you know.

Dr. Fusen: Certain words are taboo. You know this, Chiaki. Even so, you pressed for a confrontation. What did you hope to achieve?

Chiaki: It wasn’t like that. Honestly. It’s not gay-bashing. Just means something lame or stupid. I don’t think that kid’s gay anyway. His sister thought it was funny. And he knows it’s true.

Dr. Fusen: Chiwan, yes. I remember you mentioning her before. You have a romantic interest in her, correct?

Chiaki: <EXPRESSION SOFTENING> She’s an excellent skater. Way better than me. And she doesn’t take shit from anyone. She’s the best.

Dr. Fusen: Have you told her your feelings?

Chiaki: <AGHAST> Are you kidding? She’d laugh in my face.

Dr. Fusen: And why would you say that?

Chiaki: She doesn’t want a boyfriend. She’s too free-spirited. She’d just as likely call me a f*g for trying that lovey-dovey crap.

Dr. Fusen: You’re setting up conditions and barriers from the outset. Why don’t you try to approach her from an authentic point of view? If she’s as good a person as you say she is, she should appreciate your sincerity. Would she not be attracted to your true self?

Chiaki: It’s not that easy. If she says no—

Dr. Fusen: Then you have your answer and you can move on. You’re thirteen, Chiaki. Life doesn’t end with one rejection. Nor do the people you date at this age often last into adulthood. You should not approach this by putting so much pressure upon yourself. Be light and loose and she’ll see the real you.

Chiaki: <WINCING AND TAKING A SIP OF WATER AS HE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW> Like, even if you’re right, that’s way easier said than done.

<7:49 P.M.>

Jia: He’s run out of those senzu beans that restore health. Bulma hasn’t finished her rejuvenation tank, either. He’s beaten to hell, but who knows how much the alien can take. Seemed confident despite his state. Were he a normal kid, he wouldn’t be walking.

Cardinal: He’s wounded and vulnerable and doesn’t know what’s coming for him. We may not get another opportunity like this. Usuba, put forth all remaining resources and get those drones out. We have to hit him as soon as possible.

Dr. Usuba: The Kiseibachi are incredibly difficult to manufacture. I will try my best, sir, but there are only so many hours in a day. It will take me a week at least to create another swarm.

Cardinal: You’ll be well compensated for your assistance. How’s four times the normal rate sound? I need this done immediately.

Dr. Usuba: Of course, sir. I’ll work as fast as I can. While the alien scum was undoubtedly damaged by the first swarm, it’s impossible to know how successful we were without any knowledge of his physiology. The second swarm will need to be far larger, enough to cover his body. I will upgrade their energy tolerance reserves as best I can. If we’re going to take down the brat, we need to go all out. I will do everything in my power to maximize the Kiseibachis’ power.

Cardinal: <LEANING BACK IN HIS CHAIR; COLDLY> Yes, well, it sounds like you have work to do, doctor. <HE HOLDS UP THREE FINGERS> You have three days, not a week. He may be healed in a week’s time. We no longer have the luxury of waiting. We must strike.

Dr. Usuba: <STARTLED> R-right, yes sir. I’ll get started at once.

Jia: You found the right man for this job. He hates the Saiyan more than any of us do.

Cardinal: He has cause to hate them. However xenophobic his reasons may be, it’s to our advantage. Now, install these <HE PULLS TWO CANISTERS OUT FROM HIS JACKET> in the CLEAN-BOTs’ filters. They contain aggressive paralyzing agents that should weaken the boy’s response time to our next attack. They’ve been designed to fit inside the 1000 series. Use the remote control to guide them to him. We’ll try to schedule this for a time when he’s asleep, about thirty minutes before deploying the next swarm.

Jia: <TAKING THE PARALYZING AGENT> Understood, sir. Once the mission has been completed, what of the other boy?

Cardinal: Takebashi’s son? He’s seen too much. Use the paralyzing agent on him. He’ll overdose and never wake up.

Jia: <EYES WIDENING> But, sir, is that really necessary? He’s only a child. He didn’t do anything. I don’t know if I can.

Cardinal: <NOT LOOKING AT HER> If you cannot complete the mission, you’ll be replaced by a more capable associate. Is that what you prefer?

Jia: <AFTER A PAUSE; LOOKING OUT OVER THE WATER> No. I can do it. I will do it.

Cardinal: <TAKING A LONG DRINK FROM HIS MILKSHAKE> When the moment comes, be decisive or join the kids in hell.

<3:27 P.M.>

<JIA, LEDAS, AND WILDE ARE IN THE KITCHEN, SITTING AT THE MARBLE ISLAND IN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM; THE SAIYAN AND SAIBAMAN DRINK GLASSES OF PINEAPPLE JUICE AND WATCH TELEVISION (THE JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE “JASON’S THANKSGIVING”^[26]” IS PLAYING), WHILE JIA TYPES AWAY ON A LAPTOP ACROSS FROM THEM>

Ledas: Add a point about how ineffective Earth’s government was in response to the Saiyan invasion. Monarchies are the worst. Live or die by the competence of your king. In this way, humankind stood no chance.

Jia: <TYPING AS HE SPEAKS; GIVING HIM A SHARP LOOK> Are you trying to provoke your teachers? They’ll consider your points about King Furry disrespectful.

Ledas: Are you serious? This place is no better than Frieza’s empire. You’re ruled by just as much of an asshole tyrant. Can I not say what I like? I have every right to. Their biases don’t concern me.

Jia: You’re mistaken. King Furry’s not a tyrant. Write what you want, but your teachers might take offense to it. They may give you lower grades for no reason. You’ll never be able to prove or challenge it. Some things are better left unsaid.

Ledas: Nah, leave it in. I don’t owe Furry any loyalty or praise. Screw it. He’s nothing to me. I’ve wiped out better-run civilizations than yours. Humans are weak by nature, and your security is woefully inept. Were it not for Vegeta and his friends, this planet would be considered prime pickins for space pirates.

Jia: Maybe leave that part out. They won’t give you any points for what they consider to be the delusional fancies of an overly creative, but off-topic boy.

Ryori: He’s right though. If it weren’t for those guys, our planet would’ve been shit outta luck. King Furry dropped the ball.

Jia: It’s taboo to speak ill of the royal family.

Ledas: I don’t agree with your Earth terms. The king sucks. He’s not some god that nobody can criticize. That’s crap. I want everyone to know I feel that way.

Ryori: <BURSTING OUT LAUGHING> Dude, you’re totally getting detention again if you do that.

Ledas: So? I’ll give them another afterimage showcase. But that’ll be two strikes for Ms. Mahobi.

Ryori: I know. We hafta get her.

Ledas: Do you have any ideas how? <HE SHRUGS> What about you, Miss Jia? Know any good ways to prank a grown woman?

Jia: <RAISING AN EYEBROW> You want me to scheme a prank for one of your teachers? I’m not paid enough for that. It’s bad enough I have to write your essays. I’m not entirely convinced they can’t tell someone else is writing these for you, despite how many of your own words I’m attempting to use.

Ryori: If you don’t have any ideas, you don’t have to make excuses.

Jia: Don’t encourage him. It would be disastrous if either of you were expelled.

Ryori: Whoa, chill. We’re not getting expelled. Nobody’s doing anything that bad.

Jia: If you get caught—

Ryori: With him, we won’t.

Jia: Aren’t you a little young to be so arrogant?

Ledas: Oh, and add a part about how Mr. Satan is clearly an imposter, incapable of so much as defeating Nappa, let alone Cell or Majin Buu. He’s a big-time fraud. Earth’s government uses him to shield their incompetence. Anyone with eyes can see it.

Ryori: That’s going way too far, dude.

Ledas: <UNFLINCHING> Nothing I said was untrue.

Ryori: Don’t throw shade at Mr. Satan. He’s a legitimate world champion.

Ledas: Didn’t beat Cell.

Ryori: Without camera footage, we’ll never know <LEDAS ROLLS HIS EYES>, but he won a World Tournament title, and everyone’s convinced he defeated Buu.

Ledas: No, that was Kakarot. I already told you. Vegeta was there. He knows. You don’t. Vegeta said Mr. Satan helped, but he wasn’t a fighter in that conflict. He’s not nearly on the level of anyone else in their group. I’m not convinced he could have beaten King Piccolo. That Namekian could use ki. He’d have fried Hercule up good.

Ryori: Okay, but like, can you not bring all of that up? They won’t believe you, first off, so you’re going to get a shitty grade.

Ledas: I don’t care. The truth is all that matters. It’s not like I’m going to become a scholar or anything.

Jia: You’d willingly throw out the work you’ve done these past two weeks? All to provoke them for no reason?

Ryori: Yeah, we’re like almost halfway done. Come on, dude, don’t blow it up.

Ledas: <RAISING HIS HANDS INTO THE AIR> Okay, okay, whatever. I will merely speculate that Mr. Satan’s sequence of events—the one with the people dressed up in costumes we watched in class yesterday—are a fabrication to bring himself unearned glory because his fighting style doesn’t show any evidence of being able to rival Cell’s.

Ryori: Ugh, why you gotta be like that? Just let him have the glory.

Ledas: I’ll always call out fakers. They’re the worst.

Jia: <SHIFTING IN HER SEAT, A WORRIED LOOK FLASHING ACROSS HER FACE (UNSEEN BY THE BOYS)> Let’s get back on track, Ledas. Forget about Mr. Satan and the king. Focus your analysis on the Saiyan invasion.

Old woman: Look at ‘em goin’ at. Absolute savages. Vermin! They’re going to damage my damn fence, and will the c*nts pay for it? Never. Fuck ‘em. They’re hooligans who own horrible little monsters as pets. Don’t know what the shit they are. Creepy bastards. Looks like they grew right out of my garden, hah, bless my heart! <SHE TAKES ANOTHER MASSIVE PUFF> Thanks Chad Zumok for the Ƶ300 super chat. Uh, it says, ‘Do the hovercars in your city still have catalytic converters? I can’t seem to find any in North City. Asking for a friend.’ Honey, I don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout. Do you think I’m a mechanic? That’s a hoot and a half you damn silly ape. Dr. Dianna Orbani with the Ƶ1450 super chat. Much appreciated, doctor. ‘I love watching your show. I’m on my sixth natty light and going strong.’ <SHE COUGHS OUT A WHEEZING LAUGH> Good one, doctor. Have another in my honor. Ah, here’s Lyle Chipperson with a Ƶ690 super chat. Thank you. ‘How about you spray those vegetable men from Mars with my patented peter-pumpin’ peckah juice? They’ll wilt faster than Mr. Chamberlain. Fawkin’ home run, Chippah!’ What’s a peckah? Eh? Anyone know? I can’t keep up with all the new lingo the kids are usin’ nowadays. Eh? Eh? Eh.

<12:29 P.M.>

<0.425783 KILOMETERS OFF THE COAST OF WEST CITY; ONBOARD THE YACHT, KNOT ME DADDY>

Hachi: Super low energy.

Azashi: I’m zoning out here guys. Can’t we pick something more dynamically terrible?

Ippi: Trashy lyrics, too. This one’s a contender. Her voice is wretched. It’s agonizing. How’d she get an album singing like that?

Ryori: Those lyrics are basic as fuck.

Ryori: Enough already. Turn it off, it’s shit. Like, that’s really shit.

Tabashi: <TURNING IT OFF> You think so? I didn’t think it was half bad.

Ryori: What an irritating melody. <RYORI PLAYS ONE OFF HIS PHONE> But it’s not worse than this one. This is the worst song of the year.

<”GOOBA” BY 6IX9NINE PLAYS>

Azashi: I think we’ve got a contender.

Chiaki: Oof, did he just say big hater? That’s so lame. Is he in the third grade?

Ryori: Wait until he starts calling them stupid. He brings out the big guns. It’s heavy stuff, dude.

Chiaki: Yeah, there’s nothing in life worse than being a hater. I’d hate to be one of those.

Chiwan: <RIPPING APART PLASTIC AS SHE TEARS INTO HER BOX; THERE’S A GO-PRO INSIDE, WHICH SHE ASSEMBLES, CASTING THE PLASTIC BAGS ASIDE> He’s going to sing like that the whole time, isn’t he?

Chiaki: Kami, that song was big sad.

<TABASHI, RYORI, HACHI, AND LEDAS LAUGH, BUT IPPI AND CHIWAN DON’T FIND IT AS FUNNY, WHICH LESSENS CHIAKI’S AMUSEMENT SIGNIFICANTLY, AS HE WATCHES CHIWAN>

Azashi: Dude, it’s your turn.

Chiaki: <SNAPPING OUT OF IT> Right, yeah. I’ve got the show-stopper.

Tabashi: No, not that one!

Chiwan: Ugh, I can’t stand pussy-boy Bieber.

Azashi: Cringe and low-energy at the same time. Honestly, that’s impressive.

Ippi: Creepy, too. I’d break up with any guy who talked about me like this.

Ryori: Eh, it’s not that bad, y’know…

Hizara: 8.52 meters.

Chiwan: That shouldn’t be too deep. <SHE LEANS OVER THE SIDE OF THE BOAT AND DROPS THE GO-PRO INTO THE OCEAN; WITH A GLEAM IN HER EYES AS SHE TURNS BACK TO THE OTHERS> Well? Who’s going to get it?

Tabashi: From the ocean? Are you mad? There’s sharks in there.

Chiwan: Hiza, what’s the tracker say?

Hizara: <SCROLLING THROUGH THE COMPUTER> There’s a tiger about three miles to the south. Doesn’t look like it’s coming in our direction, but I’ll let you know if it changes course. Nothing else bigger than three feet within twenty miles.

Chiwan: You guys up for a diving challenge? Whoever finds the camera wins.

Chiaki: Hell yeah. What do I get if I win?

Chiwan: <WITH A HOLLOW CHUCKLE> As if that’s going to happen. Don’t sweat it, Chiyakisoba. I’m finding the go-pro.

Chiaki: <GRINNING> Sure about that, dude? I’ll have you know I used to be a professional diver in kindergarten. Took classes and everything. I was born for this.

Chiwan: <WALKS PAST HIM, TAPPING HIM ON THE SHOULDER> We’ll be in for a real challenge then. This is going to be fun.

Tabashi: <LOOKING OVER THE EDGE OF THE YACHT> I don’t know, we’re pretty far from shore.

Chiaki: You scared, bro?

Tabashi: <SCREWING UP HIS FACE; GOING RED> I ain’t no bitch.

Hizara: <LETTING OUT AN UNEXPECTED LAUGH> Big words, little man. Talk is talk. Jump in, or piss off with your tail between your legs.

Hizara: That’s how you have to deal with him, unfortunately. Hachi’s always been a f—

Chiaki: No, don’t say it! That’s not cool, man.

Hizara: What? Fraidy-cat is offensive now? Are you kidding me?

Chiaki: Ahh, nevermind.

Hizara: What did you think I was going to say?

Chiaki: Something…different. Faint-hearted. Um, yeah, that.

Hizara: Whatever. I know your game, little man.

Chiaki: <IN HIS MIND> Oh kami, this is what Dr. Fusen warned me about. Why can’t I keep my stupid mouth shut? <OUT LOUD> I was being honest. I didn’t know what you were going to call him.

Hizara: <SHAKING HIS HEAD> Don’t try to change the subject. I see the way you look at Chiwan. You like her, don’t you?

Chiaki: <FACE GOES PALE, EYES GO WIDE> Wh-what? That’s not true.

Hizara: <LEANING IN CLOSE; IN A WHISPER> Now wait just a burger-flippin’-second you little perv. Keep your hands off her. I know how teens think. It’s not happening. Not while I’m here.

Chiaki: Yo dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not interested in Chiwan.

Hizara: <FEIGNED ANGER IN A LOUD VOICE SO THE OTHERS CAN HEAR> You think my sister looks like a lagoon donkey? Fuck outta here.

Chiaki: No, no, I don’t. Really. <REALIZING> Wait, what the hell’s a lagoon donkey?

Mr. Hakimoto: <HIS WOLF SNOUT MOVES UP AND DOWN WHEN HE TALKS> Ease up on the kid, Hiza. I don’t want any 9 p.m. phone calls from irate parents over petty drama I frankly couldn’t give a shit about.

Hizara: No one’s forcing you to pick up the phone, Dad.

Hachi: Find it?

Azashi: Stop stalling and tell us what the prize is. I’m not getting my hair wet unless I know what I’m competing for.

Hizara: You can have my jet ski, alright? There, is that good enough for you, Mr. Fancypants?

Azashi: Hang on, isn’t it illegal to drive those unless you’re sixteen?

Hizara: Yeah, I totally only started driving it three years ago. Come on, grow up. This is the real world. You can do whatever you want out here. Just watch for the police patrol boats that go by every now and then and you’re good.

Azashi: Is it a real jet ski? This isn’t some trick where it’s a toy model or—

Hizara: It’s a real jet ski in pristine condition. I’m moving to North City in December. Won’t be able to use it there. Damn shame. I love the thing.

Azashi: K, I’m in.

Ryori: <WHISPERING TO LEDAS> C’mon dude, dive down and get the camera.

Ledas: <WHISPERING> No way, that wouldn’t be any fun. We know I could do that. I wanna see which one of you can. That’s way more interesting.

Ryori: <WHISPERING> But it’s a jet ski. They’re so cool.

Ledas: <WHISPERING> If you need one so bad, put it on Jia’s credit card.

Ryori: <ROLLING HIS EYES> Ugh, whatever. Y’know, you don’t have to nerf yourself every time.

Hizara: Don’t want to join them?

Ippi: <LOOKS UP BRIEFLY FROM A FURIOUS MARATHON OF TEXTING ON HER PHONE> As if.

Ledas: I would but I’m all banged up.

Hizara: You’re the alien, right? I’ve heard about you.

Ledas: <RETURNING HIS GAZE; HIS TAIL SLAPS THE AIR> I didn’t think they were going to tell everyone.

Hizara: Chill, your secret’s safe with us. I’m not going to harp on about it. Although, I’d love to take a ride on your spaceship like my little brother and sister did, if possible.

Ledas: No problem. The entry fee’s a case of beer.

Hizara: You’re kidding. <LEDAS SHAKES HIS HEAD> Wow, okay. You know, I’m not even twenty-one.

Ledas: Then steal it from Daddy. Or stay on the ground. I dunno. Whatever floats your boat, man.

Chiwan: Didja find it?

Chiaki: Nah, but look at this shell. Isn’t it shiny?

Hizara: You made a meal out of this. I thought you could dive twenty-six feet.

Chiwan: I can. I did! It got lost in the kelp, that’s all.

Mrs. Hakimoto: <SLAPPING HER PAW GLOVES TOGETHER> Anything else I can get you dears?

Chiwan: We’re good, Mom. You don’t need to hang around. Seriously, we can handle ourselves.

Mrs. Hakimoto: <WITH AN AIR OF RELIEF> In that case, please excuse me. I’ll see you later. <SHE MARCHES OVER TO HER HUSBAND, WHO IS DOWNING ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE FROM A THREE-FOOT-LONG STRAW WHILE PLAYING ON HIS PHONE; LEANING IN, SHE MUTTERS SOMETHING TO HIM; WITH A SPRING IN HIS STEP, THE MAN JUMPS TO HIS FEET, HIS FURRY HELMET BOBBING UNNATURALLY ON HIS HEAD; TAKING HIM BY THE WRIST, MRS. HAKIMOTO LEADS HER HUSBAND INTO THE YACHT> Donburi, watch the kids for a little while, okay?

Donburi: <NOT LOOKING UP FROM HER PHONE> Oof, you’re so embarrassing. Do you have to act like that in front of company?

Mr. Hakimoto: My boat, my rules. And it’s my day off. You’ll appreciate that more when you finally get a job someday.

Donburi: <WITH RED CHEEKS> Why do they have to be like that?

Ryori: We’re gonna prank her for what she did. Who’s down?

Azashi: I don’t know, Ledas deserved detention if you ask me.

Ledas: <GIVING HIM A LOOK> I knew more about that fight than she did. Typical human arrogance.

Chiwan: I don’t know, she towed the government line like a drone. Kinda cringe how she became a King Furry apologist. I’d be down for going at her just for that.

Tabashi: Did you really know those Saiyans, Leeds?

Ledas: Yeah, the bald one trained me, and I grew up with Vegeta.

Azashi: That makes no sense. They were adults.

Ledas: Well, it’s kind of a long story, but I was frozen in an energy-time-stasis thingy. I dunno what to call it. But yeah, I was out of commission for a couple of decades. Only recently got out. That’s why I arrived on Earth so much later than them.

Chiwan: Jeez, that sounds horrible. You must be grateful to be alive.

Ledas: Sure, I guess. It’s been cool to reunite with Vegeta, but he’s so much older now. We don’t have much in common besides training, and he’s way stronger than me. I can hardly keep up. I’ve gotta play catch-up.

Chiaki: So are you, like, gonna start aging again like normal, or did that energy thing mess you up?

Ledas: I have no idea, but I hope so. The guy who did it to me’s dead. Can’t ask him.

Ryori: Yeah, yeah, that’s all well and good, but we’re getting distracted. We need to focus on Ms. Mahobi.

Chiwan: If we’re going to get her, this time it has to be for real. No repeat of the shambolic Kairyupin incident.

Tabashi: What happened with that? You guys never said.

Chiwan: Never you mind. You chose not to come along. You don’t get in on the secret. This time, we have to make sure everything goes to plan.

Hachi: What are we going to do to her?

Chiaki: <DABBING HIS EYES WITH A NAPKIN> We should hit her where it hurts. Whatever that is. Time to research.

<5:32 A.M.>

Mori: <VIA TEXT> Ready.

Jia: <WITH A DEEP BREATH; SHE TYPES SOMETHING OUT, DELETES IT, HESITATES, AND TYPES IT AGAIN; VIA TEXT> He collapsed in the backyard. Go now.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references the name of Mr. and Mrs. Hakimoto's yacht, Knot Me Daddy. Probably the most ridiculously-named chapter I've ever done. SMDH furries.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 9: Knot Me Daddy
  1. scene 1: on the skyscraper, Ledas destroys the mysterious attackers with an explosive wave, but is close to out of energy; he gives Ryori the senzu bean, restoring him, and they return home
  2. scene 2: scene of Chiaki in his therapy session, opening with a f*g joke, with Chiaki confiding that he is really into Chiwan and he doesn’t know how to approach her from an honest standpoint, which his therapist picks at
  3. scene 3: Jia, Cardinal, and Usuba meet again to discuss another way to take out Ledas, emphasizing the need to hurry as the boy is wounded and vulnerable
  4. scene 4: at home, Jia helps Ledas write his history essay, and he makes a few points about the monarchy that offend the humans, although Ryori finds it funny
  5. scene 5: on saturday, all of them go out on Hachi/Chiwan's boat; the twins' father and siblings are there; while there, they all have fun and plan on scamming Ms. Mahobi, which all of them agree to get in on this time
  6. scene 6: back at home, late at night, Ledas is sleepwalking when a CLEAN-BOT sprays him with the paralyzing agent
2. This chapter's outline is entirely accurate to what happens. Nothing really to nitpick.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 9 are as follows:
1. 7/27/23: have a future chapter scene take place on a boat, and Chiwan dives in the water, procuring something from the seafloor 25 feet below to prove her physical prowess over the others - have her take her shirt off in front of them before diving, which escalates sexual tension with Chiaki
2. 8/3/23: even though there have already been 2 scenes interacting with older siblings of a student, it feels like Hachi/Chiwan's family dynamics should have an older sibling or two along with the dad being in the boat scene (this is the first mention of the boat scene)
3. 8/3/23: on the boat, have Tsuwa run around with a squirt gun shooting everyone (an homage to e7 of Chuunibyou as well as Battle of Gods Goten/Trunks)
4. have Ledas be disgusted by the royalists, noting that he's had enough of that style of leading with King Vegeta, Frieza, and Cooler
5. 4/7/23: have Cardinal and his team develop a liquid-like substance that devours ki, burning it as if it were gasoline to this substance, which is almost like plasma, latching onto whoever it is taking it from, hurting them severely by doing so; it depletes their energy reserves; have this be the big baddie that Cardinal develops using Ledas' DNA
6. 4/12/23: have Chiaki use pepper spray from Chiwan/Hachi's father's keychain and have it blow back in his face from the wind (a real life reference to what Demetri the Dummy did), causing him to have a bad day and get grounded, along with Chiwan, who supplied him with it
7. 6/23/23: have Jia use the clean-bots to spy on Ledas, and this can be perhaps something that comes up near the climax of her arc when the clean-bots attempt to inject the boy to weaken/kill him
8. 6/23/23: have the senzu bean Ledas collects in ch6 be used fairly soon, whenever the biological slime thing attacks him, and this is what saves him there
9. 7/12/23: for ch9, have a scene where Jia helps Ledas write his essay, and this should be where he relentlessly criticizes monarchy as a form of government, which gets pushback from both Jia and Ryori
10. 7/23/23: have a scene with Jia, Cardinal, Dr. Usuba discussing something at lunch together
11. 7/23/23: have the things that Usuba make be tiny robotic drones that suck energy out of Ledas, exploding when they reach ki capacity, which damages him twice over
12. 8/4/23: names I came up with for Chiwan/Hachi's father's boat: Knot Me Daddy, I'd Rather Knot, Knotted So Knotted, Knot This Weekend
13. 8/7/23: the idea for Ryori to take the senzu bean instead was a result of influence from Great Pretender and Chuunibyou, especially the second because it's a means to their escalation of relationship, similar to how that trip to Rikka's grandparents' house was
14. 8/22/23: Chiaki's therapist is named Dr. Fusen (fusen means sticky note in Japanese)
15. 8/24/23: while on the boat, have one of the older siblings of Chiwan and Hachi spray the younger kids with a bottle of water like they are misbehaving cats when they get too rowdy
16. 8/25/23: the way to do Dr. Usuba's character should be as follows: he carries the trauma of surviving Nappa's explosion of East City (due to being on a boat off the coast), though this does not make him a sympathetic character; he should be in some way disgusting and/or uncouth
17. 8/28/23: have Chiaki make a joke that does not cause Chiwan to laugh, embarrassing him
18. 8/30/23: there should be a scene of Ledas trimming his fingernails with invisible ki, perhaps in front of the other kids
19. 9/1/23: the three songs chosen for the opening of the boat scene are from the worst songs of 2020; from user "honest" is where I received the most influence, although I looked up several different videos to see which songs were chosen; this made "Yummy" an easy choice for the closer
20. 9/6/23: the halibut tacos recipe used is this one: https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/halibut-soft-tacos/
21. 9/6/23: Tabashi and Chiaki both were chosen to be the one to take the blast of pepper spray before I ultimately landed on Tsuwa (at least in the first draft)
22. 9/6/23: the back door Ledas exits through at the end of chapter 9 is not shown on the floorplanner page but would logically exist at the end of the main hallway
My notes for the second draft of chapter 9 are as follows:
1. 1/5/24: add royal before tottenham
2. 1/5/24: have Fusen mention that Chiaki has said that he was interested in Chiwan before
3. 1/5/24: Usuba will mention upgrading the second generation swarm based on how they performed against Ledas the first time
4. 1/5/24: have Usuba be more disparaging to aliens in the third scene
5. 1/5/24: add a line in the fourth scene about how Ledas says he doesn't owe Furry any loyalty or good words
6. 1/5/24: in the fifth scene, change Chiaki's line of "God" to "Kami"
7. 1/5/24: in the fifth scene, I didn't mention what was in that box Chiwan was opening - it's a go-pro, and that needs to be mentioned before she runs off to Hizara
8. 1/5/24: before Hizara brings up Chiwan to Chiaki, have him say "Don't try to change the subject"
9. 1/5/24: have Hizara refer to Chiwan and Hachi not by their names, but by "sister and brother"
10. 1/5/24: Ledas' line of "Nobody did!" makes no sense and needs to be completely different
11. 1/5/24: I'd rather Ledas tells them about how he was frozen in time for years than Ryori cutting him off - I don't believe the other characters would let Leeds get away with that
12. 1/5/24: Chiaki's inability to deal with spice at the end of the fifth scene should be more apparent
13. 1/5/24: in the sixth scene, Jia should show more signs of confliction about what she's doing
14. 3/28/24: have Ryori be more appreciative of the senzu bean, his cheeks going red, implying that they are about to start dating even in the published part of this scene
I began writing this chapter on August 21, 2023. The first draft was finished on September 6^th. The writing went a little slowly, but I consistently worked on the chapter almost every day. The yacht scene took a bit more effort than normal (it's the longest scene in the saga). I wrote out a more specific outline for that scene as I was doing it. I edited the chapter as I wrote. Usually every day before I continued from where I left off previously, I edited the chapter up to that point. Not always, but it happened enough to be worth mentioning. I did minor editing on September 7^th, September 9^th, and September 12^th. Afterwards, I was done with the chapter until the official second draft. The editing phase went from May 5, 2024 to May 9, 2024. This editing phase took a day longer than most of the other chapters. From my google docs history, it appears I did 5 drafts for this chapter as opposed the usual 4. Not sure why. Immediately after I finished the fifth draft on May 9^th, I posted it to the wiki.
The first scene of chapter 9 is the most significant scene in the entire saga if the deleted scene is included (and it canonically is). The whole saga works up to this moment. The most consequential thing in the West City Saga is Ledas and Ryori becoming a couple.
The Kiseibachi have power levels of a few thousand, elevated slightly by using Ledas' power (they are weaker when they fight the Saibamen). Ledas is far stronger than this, especially in Super Saiyan 2, though his injuries and not being able to see his foes, led to him taking damage he wouldn't have otherwise. The injuries Vegeta leveled on him in their sparring session during the previous chapter nerfed Ledas significantly. He should still be able to raise his power level into the millions, although his stamina is an issue. The Kiseibachi don't actually come all that close to defeating Ledas.
Ledas shielding Ryori with the energy bubble while fighting the Kiseibachi shows his deep bond with his friend. Even in a time of immense stress, he doesn't forget to protect his friend as best he can. This moment speaks to Ledas' character and his steadfast resolve.
Even more than that, Ledas giving Ryori the senzu bean when he's severely injured too is a selfless act, one he wouldn't do for just anybody, only those he cares deeply about. Ryori recognizes this, which causes the deleted scene to take place.
While Ledas is battered and bloody, his ability to maintain Super Saiyan 2 implies he's not super close to death.
Ryori was indeed concerned for Ledas. Nice playful banter in that moment, which isn't all that typical of Ledas. Killing those bots has made him feel more relaxed and loose. He's relieved Ryori's okay and is masking that through humor.
I think we all know what Ledas was referring to when Ryori cut him off. It's really convenient that people can't get pregnant from ingesting semen, as otherwise, the boys would be constantly. For the record, I get tired with Halo 2 sometimes, and I don't like ice cream all that much, but that third thing Ledas almost mentioned, that I'll never get tired of (there may be a limit of like 8 times per day, to be fair).
So the ending of the first scene is somewhat abrupt and there's an overt link to the fourth deleted scene in the final paragraph. I did this because that deleted scene is the canon continuation of the first scene. It's the most important moment in the WCS. And because it's not sexually explicit (although the boys say graphic things), I felt it made sense to link to it more openly. The whole point of this saga was getting to the moment Ledas and Ryori kiss and become boyfriends.
Anyone who doesn't read the fourth deleted scene (and I'm not saying you should) would likely think the boys leaving 5 minutes later is a randomly long time from what seems to be the end of the conversation. That's because they have a five minute conversation in the deleted scene. Gotta get those times consistent. Plus, the first scene doesn't really end with them deciding to fly home, it just ends out of nowhere. This was purposefully jarring because their conversation literally carries on from that point right into the deleted scene up until they leave. There was no place to add any more dialogue that wasn't from the deleted scene.
I began working on the fourth deleted scene on May 5, 2024. It was first drafted that day, making it the fourth deleted scene first drafted. I edited it on May 6^th and May 8^th, finishing it on that day. It was also the third deleted scene final drafted. This one went a lot smoother than the previous two. Because it wasn't a sex scene, I had an easier time writing and editing it.
The fourth deleted scene is a conversation between Ledas and Ryori, somewhat lewd, about how they have to be more than friends because they do sexual things together. Ryori brings up how Ledas just saved his life and how he can never repay him. He asks Ledas out and then they kiss (Ledas isn't good at it at first). Afterwards, they're obviously quite horny and fly back home (planning to engage in naughty endeavors together), Ledas feeling something poking him in the back when Ryori hops on. This is not the most sexy deleted scene, but it's probably the best one. The romantic stuff hits me very hard. I love it a lot. It was about time they started dating. Enough was enough already. Now we can really get into the romantic aspects of their relationship going forward, something I explore explicitly in Monkeyboy's First Vacation (the first draft of that story is written as of me doing this commentary in late September 2024, so I have a good grasp on where their relationship goes from here).
June 8, Age 774 marks the date Ledas and Ryori become a couple. They continue dating until sometime in Age 779, at which point they get married. I'm not sure if or when I'll show that. It could be in a deleted scene or a bonus chapter of some HOTD saga or could be done in a one-shot or short story, or I may not write about it at all. I don't expect they'll have a fancy wedding. That's not my (or Ledas') style. Probably a very quick ceremony and then a laid-back party/all-you-can-eat meal shared with a few close friends. Dunno. We're a long way off from that ever getting written (if it does). That's at least 3 years away from becoming a thing, so I'm not thinking about it too deeply yet. I probably don't want to write it (if I do) until after the Emperor Kuriza Saga is completed.
The second scene is the first and only time we see Chiaki in a therapy session. He's mentioned Dr. Fusen several times, so I wanted to use that character at some point. The best opportunity came in chapter 9 as Chiaki is looking to make a move to land Chiwan as his girlfriend. This parallels and contrasts with Ledas and Ryori's relationship, and being the more overt one, I can go into the relationship themes that affect both couples more so from Chiaki's point-of-view.
I find chewing on pens to be disgusting. It's toddler-esque.
While it's true certain words are taboo, I'll say whatever I goddamn want with my friends in the privacy of our own private domiciles, yo! I have no problem with the "f-slur" as they say. Chiaki's right. It isn't gay-bashing for the most part, at least the usage my friends and I used when we grew up in the 90s and early 2000s. Never was, never will be, and there's nothing wrong with it. I don't care what other people think. Your opinions don't mean more than mine. If you don't want to use it, don't. I'll say what I want and cultivate a friends' group that shares my ethics.
One could say the discussion of the f-slur is also a reference to Ledas and Ryori getting together.
Hachi is indeed not gay, but by the end of this saga, he may realize he's not straight, either. More on that in chapter 12's endnotes. For what it's worth, the way Chiaki was using the word definitely applies to Hachi.
I fully understand Chiaki's fear of asking out Chiwan. If she says no, it could ruin their friend group. Additionally, summoning the courage to do that is incredibly difficult. He's never had a girlfriend before, making this an even scarier prospect.
"Nor do the people you date at this age often last into adulthood." - ironically, we get two examples of this in this story. Ledas and Ryori get together at 13 and stay together for the rest of their lives. Chiwan and Chiaki get together at 13, stay together for a few years, break up, and then reconnect in their mid-twenties, getting married and settling down soon after. So you never know. Dr. Fusen is right that they are the exceptions, not the rule.
Dr. Fusen's advice is overall quite good. He does well to help Chiaki navigate his anxiety. The thing is, I don't think Chiaki is emotionally mature enough to take the advice to heart. It's easier said than done, as he says. But you can't get what you want without putting yourself out there and trying. Everyone fails before they succeed. You have to be willing to try, to get back up when things don't go your way. Anxiety can be a cruel burden, using perceived fear to stifle opportunity. If he wants her so bad, he needs to go for it. She's not gonna ask him out. With that said, Chiaki is a little off-base thinking she doesn't want a boyfriend. Chiwan's straight. She likes dudes. She'd be happy getting with a guy she respects. I think he knows this deep down, which is why he tries to get good at skating and surfing to impress her.
I began working on the fifth deleted scene on May 6, 2024, finishing it that day. It was the fifth deleted scene first drafted. I final drafted it on May 9^th, making it the fourth deleted scene to be finalized. Finalization took all of ten minutes. Went really smoothly. Again, since this wasn't a sex scene (as was also the case with the fourth deleted scene), it did not take long to edit.
Deleted scene #5 takes place after the second scene of chapter 9. This is the only chapter with two deleted scenes (two are linked to in chapter 12, but the final one, chapter 12.5, takes place after that chapter obviously, there was just nowhere else to link to it). These are also the only two deleted scenes that take place on the same day. This logically happens because deleted scene #4 isn't a sex scene, so there was no refractory period to consider.
The fifth deleted scene is the only one to feature Jia. I had previously written a first draft of another deleted scene featuring Jia watching Ledas sleepwalk (there is nothing sexual between them in the scene, it's only a deleted scene because of stuff that Ledas does afterward with Ryori). This is because there's not an actual sex scene shown. The fifth scene is all about Ledas and Ryori deciding to get rid of their beds to replace them with a king-sized bed that they'll share from that point onward (until Beelzebub destroys their house in A Quest for Booty).
So deleted scene #5 starts off in the kitchen of Ryori and Ledas' home. They have a conversation with Jia about the Kiseibachi while eating ramen. Ryori speculates that Cardinal sent the Kiseibachi, which Jia pushes back against. Ledas doesn't have an opinion on who did it. He then asks Jia if she can replace their beds with a single king-sized one like Ryori's, mentioning how comfortable he found it, implying he's already slept in Ryori's bed before. Jia wonders why they wish to do this. Ledas doesn't really give her an answer, just says that that's how it's going to be going forward. The scene cuts to later that night. Jia enters the boys room, noticing they're sleeping together, Ryori spooning Ledas from behind. Their clothes, including their boxers, lie on the floor. She then texts Cardinal that if they take out Ledas, they'll have to take out Ryori too, as the boys appear to be more than friends. So, this scene isn't graphic, but it's a bit more overt than I wanted to portray in the West City Saga. I debated putting this scene in the chapter normally but ultimately decided against it, as I wanted Ledas and Ryori's relationship to be mostly implied. Going from having Ledas and Ryori's bed to only one bed is briefly touched upon in chapter 10, and I preferred that subtler approach. The ending part shows that Ledas and Ryori are spooning while naked, which is again a little too graphic to make this a regular scene. Jia texting Cardinal that they'll have to take out Ryori too is an interesting moment that ties into Jia's character progression in this chapter. She doesn't want to kill the boys (as we'll see in scene 3) but still tells Cardinal that if Ledas goes, Ryori will have to as well. A bit cutthroat from her, although it could've come from an empathetic point-of-view, twisted as it is, that she didn't want Ryori to suffer losing his boyfriend. I don't know. I think she told Cardinal about their relationship because she wanted to dissuade him from killing Ledas, thinking he wouldn't want to take out Ryori (as none of them know Ryori killed Cardinal's son). She severely miscalculated this strat. Cardinal always planned on killing Ryori, as can be seen in scene 3. So while this is a deleted scene, it ties into the chapter heavily, especially through Jia's character arc. Both deleted scenes in chapter 9 are critical to the plot of the story, which is not really true for any of the other scenes (although one could say that scene 2, the start of the boys' physical relationship, is the precursor to them dating).
Had deleted scene #5 been in Monkeyboy's First Vacation instead of West City Saga, it would not have been a deleted scene. I show more explicit stuff in that story because not only are the boys a few years older, but their relationship is too, and they are a lot more openly affectionate by Age 776. Like in the fifth deleted scene, they share a bed and spoon most nights. Ledas is almost always little spoon, symbolizing their positions in the relationship (Ryori's the top, Ledas is the bottom).
Jia's first line of dialogue in the third scene mentions her conversation with Ledas in deleted scene #5.
Usuba and Cardinal would've been better off taking a few years to perfect the Kiseibachi. They're too impatient because Ledas is wounded. Cardinal thinks there's an opening he can exploit when in reality he's making a big mistake. Honestly, if Usuba had taken five years to recalibrate the Kiseibachi's energy capacity, he could've reasonably created something that could've damaged and possibly killed Ledas. Too bad Cardinal's overcome by emotion, not thinking straight, and about to get them all killed (except for Jia). I feel oh so bad for them, promise.
The paralyzing agents are experimental. Cardinal doesn't know if they'll work on Ledas, which is why he wants her to use them on him while he's asleep. Ledas' sleepwalking comes into play in a massive way here, as it's the only reason Ryori isn't killed by the paralyzing agent. With that said, I'm not sure Jia would've gone through with spraying Ledas with the mist had he been in bed instead of wandering the halls, so things might have played out a lot differently had that been the case.
Ryori did in fact do something (killed Supreme General Silver) that would've made murdering him justifiable from the New Red Ribbon Army's perspective. It's extremely fortunate they don't know he shot Silver, as if that had been the case, Cardinal would've sent Oscalpano to murder him while Ledas was somewhere else, which would've been awful.
Jia's role is difficult to navigate. She's grown to love the boys and wants to protect them as best she can. She fights for Ryori, but it's not her call to make. Ultimately, she's in the New Red Ribbon Army and has to follow Cardinal's orders. She says she'll hit Ryori with the paralyzing spray even though a line earlier, she said what she really thinks—she can't actually do it. She just said that she will so Cardinal doesn't replace or kill her. She knows the moment of no return is coming soon. As much as she wants to delay having to make a decision, it's out of her hands. She has to either help kill the boys or set Ledas loose on Cardinal. One could wonder why she hasn't already sent Ledas after Cardinal. It's because she feels a great amount of guilt over her involvement in the NRRA up to this point. She's already given Cardinal tons of information about Ledas, given him hair samples, and even poisoned the boy. She's desperate to keep Ledas from learning Cardinal's after him because that will implicate her in the conspiracy against him. She doesn't want to lose Ledas' trust. She's grown to love him too much.
The fourth scene was a way to further the discussion about human culture and monarchism (a most unappealing political ideology). Considering I spent a long scene on the Saiyan invasion in the previous chapter, it only felt right to resolve the plotline by showing the essay Ledas and Jia (and perhaps with some input from Ryori) craft for Ledas' big history assignment. Whenever a scene has a multipurpose function that expands the plot, themes, and characterizations/relationships, it seems like a good idea to include it. Plus, the subject matter lends itself to many humorous moments, which I had fun exploring.
I put Wilde in the beginning of the fourth scene to show him hanging out with Ledas. I noticed at this point that Wilde hadn't been around Ledas much at all during this saga. Carawa had hung out with them a few times previously (playing monopoly with them, watching TV with Hachi, Chiwan, Chiaki, Ledas, and Ryori). Wilde had been a tad neglected, which is a shame, since he's the best Saibaman by far.
Pineapple juice is amazing, but there's another reason Ledas is drinking it. He's being considerate to Ryori in regards to stuff they'll get up to later on. IYKYK.
Jason's Thanksgiving is my favorite episode of Jerry Springer. Jason is an amazing character, truly one of funniest people to ever appear on television. The first time I saw this episode, I had to pause it frequently because I was laughing so hard. The way the food fight goes down is so low effort but at the same time hostile and pissy. I don't know exactly how to describe it. There's something so peculiarly hilarious about it.
Monarchy is not the best form of government. Shocker, I know! There are monarchists out there. Hell, a guy I dated a few years ago was one. Never understood it. Thinking it's the best form of government is so over-the-top stupid, it doesn't deserve a deep dive into why. If the reasons why monarchy, conceptually and in practice, is not a good form of government need to be explained to you, you're too stupid to be worth trying to fix. I had Ledas make this point also because he grew up in monarchies (both on Planet Vegeta and in the Planet Trade Organization as a whole) and knows how tyrannical they can be when left unchecked.
Ledas is absolutely correct. He has every right to lambast King Furry. Free speech, yo. Now, if free speech exists in the Dragon World, we don't know, but you can't have a moral society without free speech. So if Ledas isn't able to criticize the king for obviously failing to protect the planet (which is undeniably true), that is a second criticism to level against King Furry. Not only that, but the teachers thinking that speaking ill of the king is disrespectful is cringe as fuck. Bootlickers don't deserve respect. Ledas is the type of guy to call out that shit whenever he can.
Ledas doesn't care if he gets a lower grade. He'd rather be truthful, to say what he really means and be penalized for that, than to hold his tongue. This is the approach all students should have in academic settings, but the opposite is taught at the college level across the United States. College-aged students are nowadays the most brainwashed sycophants in the country. Alas, Ledas won't ever go to college. I'd have liked to parody and tear down safe spaces and the concept of microaggressions.
Jia is right to try to stop the boys from pranking Ms. Mahobi. She has to know that her words won't change their minds. She just needs them to get through the class. They're so close. I'm sure she'd be stricter if Ledas wasn't a Saiyan. His powers mean that pranking her should theoretically be a lot easier.
Ledas and Ryori will always spar over Mr. Satan's power. They're not super serious but they do legitimately believe what they're saying. I've always been of the opinion that Mr. Satan is stronger than people give him credit for even if he'd still do relatively poorly in the old Dragon Ball WMATs. Probably wouldn't reach a semifinal match unless he was matched up against someone like Pamput or Ranfan. Still, he's a legitimate martial artist, skilled enough to win a WMAT legitimately. I believe certain aspects of Ryori and Ledas' arguments, making it fun to explore.
To be honest, Ledas has no reason to bring up Mr. Satan at all considering he's writing an essay about the Saiyan invasion. I sort of get his logic that only the Z Fighters would be able to do anything to the Saiyans and Mr. Satan would've been useless during that fight, but that was also before he was world champion, so he's not super relevant at that time.
"I’ll always call out fakers. They’re the worst." - this is a core facet of Ledas' personality.
The Saibamen's sparring at the end of the fourth scene foreshadows Carawa and Wilde evolving into their next Saibaform before the end of the saga. I had originally planned on Wilde transforming into his blue form during the final chapter of The Forgotten, ultimately deciding against it at the last minute as it didn't feel like he was strong enough yet. Turning blue means their power levels will be at least 16,000 going forward, which isn't a lot by Dragon Ball Super standards, but still enough to take on most bounties across the universe.
The old woman is streaming on youtube, which I found conceptually hilarious, as streaming much more often a thing younger people do. And she knows how to read super chats and all that shit, implying she's been doing this for a while. I am quite proud of coming up with this. She's such a unique character.
Chad Zumok is a youtube livestreamer and more importantly a lolcow. He's a criminal, having stolen credit cards in the past, and is generally a boring unfunny dud. He's had a few moments here and there, such as the time he did a livestream with Stuttering John and trolled him with fake super chats the whole time. But yeah, he's scum of the earth. The catalytic converter comment is based on Anthony Cumia's speculation that Chad steals those from cars due to once appearing with grease all over his face and hands when he livestreamed and also sporting a black eye (implying he got in a fight with someone while trying to steal). A Ƶ300 super chat roughly equals $2, showing Chad's generosity.
Dianna Orbani, or Lady Di as she was known on the Opie and Anthony show, was a notoriously drunken slob who'd drink around 20-30 beers a day. Her favorite brand was Natty Light because it was super cheap and had a high alcohol percentage. As one would expect, she died a few years ago from alcohol-induced dementia. She was more generous than Chad (donating roughly $10) because she was likely using Bill's credit card (the guy she lived with, who was also a retired alcoholic disaster).
Lyle Chipperson is a Jim Norton character (or alternate personality, depending on who you ask). He thinks he's really funny but bombs constantly. That's his main personality trait. That's why he goes for the hacky Ƶ690 super chat and makes a terrible Wilt Chamberlain joke. I'm quite proud of that joke. It's terrible but fits in with Chip's style perfectly.
Pecker is a really old term for penis. That the old lady doesn't know it speaks to her worldliness and deductive reasoning.
The fifth scene is the longest scene in the West City Saga. It's almost as long as the bonus chapter.
I don't remember exactly when I came up with the yacht scene or what inspired it, but I remember clearly having an image in my head of Mr. Hakimoto lounging on a chair on his boat, sipping a drink with a long straw while wearing a furry wolf head costume. From there, realizing it'd be funny to explore a family where the parents are furries but the kids aren't (and are embarrassed by their parents openly flaunting their fetish) set the stage for naming the yacht something related to furries. As seen in my notes for the story in some of the endnotes above, I came up with several different names for the yacht before deciding upon Knot Me Daddy. Once I found this name, I knew the chapter itself would have to be named after this, as it's ridiculous and looks funny on the WCS chapter list (and should no doubt pique potential readers' interest).
When I originally made the Hakimoto family back in 2017, Hizara and Donburi did not exist. They were added in during the writing of this scene, as I didn't want the kids to interact with the parents too much. The parents lounge throughout the scene. They wouldn't want to put up with the kids' shenanigans. When I came up with the go-pro idea, Hizara's character came into focus. Donburi wasn't needed for anything specific, but something felt off in the family dynamics without another person being there. I don't know why. It was an intuitive feeling.
I spent a lot of time looking up terrible songs for the kids to play. The ones I chose were the absolute worst of the worst (in my opinion) taken from worst-of lists. I probably listened to over one hundred songs before settling on the ones I did. Those youtube compilations were not clickbait. Every single song was terrible. Some (much) more than others.
I decided not to link to the songs because I didn't want it to seem like the musical cues would be necessary to the story. It just felt like it'd make the chapter worse to have all these musical cues to godawful songs. I learned my lesson from linking to the Nicki Minaj song in chapter 6, which I still regret to this day. That song should not have been linked.
Curse the fact that I had to relisten to all of the mentioned songs for this antho just to get an accurate reminder of why I chose them. Fuck me. These are terrible.
Hachi is spot on with his analysis of "Freak". Crazy how his opinion matches up with mine. Her voice is so bad, but the song's biggest sin is it's so fucking boring. Lyrics are trash, yes, but the melody and tempo are horrific.
"Got me like, "Yee-haw", ride it like a horsey/Kinda like see-saw, up and down on the D" - how juvenile, how embarrassing, how vapid. These lyrics exemplify one of the worst aspects of Doja Cat's style: lacking in either humor or charisma. The cringe is real.
Tabashi's musical tastes definitely don't line up with mine as I've mentioned in chapter 6's endnotes. I don't know why he picked "Freak" if he thought it wasn't terrible. Maybe he's one of those people who doesn't really think any songs are bad.
"Gooba" is so bad I had to procrastinate hard getting through it for this antho. First off, 6ix9ine is a terrible rapper. His lyrics are garbage and juvenile, and his style is just awful. At least he's more aggressive than Doja Cat.
"Big hater" is a super cringe line, something you'd expect from an eight-year-old. Same with the big mad/big sad shit. Not surprised 6ix9ine came up with those lyrics. That shit's awful. I especially hate the part when he rolls his tongue like a young child. Embarrassing song, and definitely worse than "Freak" but I'm not picking it as the worst one until I re-hear the other contenders. Strong showing, though.
Chiaki's joke wasn't half bad. Poor guy didn't get Chiwan to laugh, though. The other guys laughed, but he didn't care. Only wanted to endear her to him. Wooing her is not off to a great start, it must be said.
"Yummy" is fucking awful. I'll say this song epitomizes what Bieber is. Vapid lyrics (let's pretend they're deep because of the recent P Diddy allegations, sure), disjointed melodies with hard cuts between the lyrics that just sound awful, instrumentals that are as bland as could be. It's a perfect Bieber song.
All three songs are bad (I'm so thankful I don't have to listen to another), but the worst is clearly "Gooba". "Yummy" probably has the worst lyrics, but Bieber can actually sing, so he gets a few points there. 6ix9ine cannot, and his aggressive style makes me more aggressively push back against his stupid baby boy shit.
Ippi is 100% right about the lyrics being creepy. The fact that so many people like "Yummy" speaks to the stupidity of the average person. The monarchists would scream that's a reason not to indulge in democracy. People are too stupid for their own good. I don't entirely disagree, but we have to let stupid people have a voice regardless. It's just how it's gotta be. Democracy does have its cost but it's better than the alternative. Still, my god. I'm reminded of that George Carlin quote where he said something along the lines of, "Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half the population is stupider than that". Never felt more appropriate than when it comes to analyzing pop songs with tens of millions of views that are just utterly unlistenable dreck. How do people listen to any of those above songs? It's torturous how awful they are. I simply cannot empathize with these people. I don't get it.
It doesn't surprise me Ryori kind of liked the Bieber song. He's probably fapped to Bieber.
Ledas trimming his nails with ki is something I always imagined he did but never had a place to show it off. Ledas has to keep his nails trimmed so that fingering himself doesn't hurt, of course, and as one would expect, he does that a lot. Donburi spraying Tsuwa with the water bottle was also an idea I had before writing this scene, though I hadn't planned where to put it before writing out the first draft.
So I don't know if any high-tech ships actually have those little computer devices measuring the depth and shark presence. I know that some of the command consoles would have the depth where you pilot the ship, but probably not elsewhere. I did this to ease the kids' minds before jumping into the water. I would not jump in if I didn't know if sharks were around. The ocean is a cruel, violent place. Humans underestimate it daily. Not gonna happen here. You know what they say—write the world you'd want to live in.
8.52 meters is incredibly deep. I could definitely dive down that far when I was on the swim team in my prime, but nowadays? Not a chance. Plus, the kids are thirteen. Their wee little lungs! That's hella dicey. Looking back on it, I should've made the depth at least a meter shallower to be believable.
Chiaki's banter with Chiwan about the go-pro is a lot better than his earlier joke attempt. They're getting real comfortable around one another. He's starting to work his magic. Proud of him.
I should probably mention that as a Californian, at least where I live, dude is a gender-neutral term. We've always used it to refer to both guys and girls. People from other parts of the country might not do that. That writing style undeniably betrays where I'm from.
Hizara knew that Hachi wasn't going into the water any other way. He's dealt with his brother's trepidation many times before.
Top-notch fraidy-cat joke, KV. Good bait-and-switch after what Chiaki said in the second scene. Didn't exactly remember that going down. Excellent tie-in.
"Now wait just a burger-flippin’-second" - this is a SpongeBob reference.
Hizara is way out of line trying to prevent Chiaki and Chiwan from getting together. It's not his call to make. I understand wanting to protect his sister, but if she's into it, it's not his place to stop them.
I don't remember exactly where I got lagoon donkey from. I may have been scrolling through urban dictionary looking for ridiculous phrases when I found that one. I don't remember exactly.
The interaction between Hizara and his father is one of my favorite moments in the chapter. The more mature dynamic between them is highlighted well compared to how the kids have acted throughout the story.
Hizara's rant about driving jet skis is tied to one of big thematic messages of the story: part of growing older is knowing when to follow the laws and when to do whatever you want. There are consequences, always, and those are tied to the morality of those actions. Driving a jet ski below age 16 may be dangerous, but it's not inherently immoral. It's not a bad thing, so I won't pass judgment. Drinking alcohol and smoking weed at 13 is, and thus the kids are punished for it. Stuff like this happens throughout the saga and will continue to be a central theme of HOTD going forward, especially in relation to the Galactic Patrol and hunting bounties.
Ledas doesn't like winning contests like this using his superior strength and stamina. There's no amount of powering down that could suppress his lung capacity enough to make things fair. Plus, diving in with casts on would make Chiwan and Hachi's parents suspicious. He's right not to get involved. The minor conflict with Ryori seemed natural for thirteen-year-old boys. I get Ryori's perspective (jet skis are cool), but he can't command Ledas to do whatever he wants. Ledas is also correct that it's more interesting to see which of the other seventh-graders can find the go-pro first. That's the true entertainment.
To be fair, I don't fault Chiwan and Hachi for telling Hizara about Ledas, especially if he's not lying about the secret being safe with him. I'd do the same with my brothers. It's standard sibling behavior if the relationships are healthy.
Chiwan won't admit it, but she thought Chiaki finding that piece of abalone was hella cool. The two are openly flirting in that scene, showing a progression in their relationship. They'll be dating soon enough from the looks of it.
I thought it was for the best if none of the kids found the go-pro. Felt like the most realistic outcome, and if I'm being honest, I couldn't decide which of them deserved the jet ski, so I decided none of them would get it.
Those tacos sound pretty good, even if I don't like fish. I do kind of wish I liked fish. It'd allow me to eat a lot more shit. Ledas doesn't like most seafood, but he can tolerate a lot of fish. Plus, he's not going to complain about being given food. That's rude. When it comes to food, Ledas has great etiquette unless it's something he positively abhors.
It's notable Tabashi doesn't have the jalapeños. He's not that much of a spice boy after all.
The Hakimotos are such clichéd furries. A wolf and a fox. What a pairing! Never seen that before. Those must be their spirit animals. They weren't environmentally and culturally influenced whatsoever, no sir.
Chiaki only gets the jalapeños to impress Chiwan. This foreshadows his spice-off win in the next chapter. Chiaki shows courage in this act, as eating spicy food when you don't have a spice tolerance is painful and hurts for a long time afterward. That he's willing to put himself through the pain shows how desperately he wants Chiwan to like him, to respect him, to go out with him. There's something endearing about that. He's a bit of a hopeless romantic.
Chiwan tries to shoo her mother away because she's embarrassed by her parading her fetish around for all the seventh-graders to see. Suffice it to say, after the way the Hakimoto parents act, walking around in their fursuits all the time in public and at home, none of their kids grow up to become furries. Shocker, I know.
To be fair, Mr. Hakimoto's right. It is his boat, so they have to abide by his rules. That doesn't make his actions less cringe, though. He's not acting mature. He's too horny to think straight.
Azashi isn't wrong that Ledas earned his detention. Ledas argues from a knowledge perspective, not refuting what our beloved chef was getting at. Ledas was disruptive and rude and for that reason alone deserved detention.
In the original draft of the end of the fifth scene where the kids are talking about pranking Ms. Mahobi, Ledas didn't tell them about being frozen in stasis for years. I rewrote that during the editing phase, as it seemed like too big of a thing to gloss over. They would've pressed the issue anyway. In the first draft, Ryori interrupted Ledas and tried to get them "back on track" with the pranking. I didn't think that would've worked, so I rewrote it.
Ledas isn't wrong about his relationship with Vegeta being much different due to him not aging. Alas, their friendship isn't what it used to be. Even so, they still train together, so it's not like he lost a friend, it's just different. Plus, he met Ryori and the others. Now they have their little gang. Not a bad trade-off in my opinion. Let Kakarot have Vegeta most of the time. I prefer it this way. Had to do it anyway due to Vegeta and Goku training together tons in Dragon Ball Super, if we're being honest.
Yeah, Ledas doesn't know if he'll start aging again or not. He doesn't realize something's wrong for a few more years. That's why Bulma doesn't make the age-adjustor for him until Monkeyboy's First Vacation. It's only by Age 776 that he realizes he's not aging as he should be.
"You chose not to come along. You don’t get in on the secret." - truer words have never been said.
Tsuwa spraying herself with her father's pepper spray is based on a real-life incident I witnessed. My brother's friend Demetri took my father's car keys, which had pepper spray on them, and sprayed the canister at nothing in particular. But he didn't account for the wind. The wind blew it right back on his face. And boy did he shriek and cry. Self-inflicted. No sympathy. Oh well. That's how you learn.
Jia's in a predicament in the final scene. She knows it's time to make a decision to either be loyal to the kids or Cardinal. In the end, she takes a dangerous middle ground. After witnessing Ledas easily overcome the poison, she banks on the boy not being affected by the paralyzing agent. I don't know if this is worth mentioning because it seems very apparent. She struggles to use the device on Ryori but has no problem doing so with Ledas. This is not because she loves Ryori more, it's because she thinks it won't affect Ledas. He'll be able to overcome the Kiseibachi and they'll go from there. Ledas is ultimately affected to a moderate degree, which was not her intention, which gets Ses and Ame killed in the next chapter (more on that in that chapter's endnotes). A big miscalculation on her part. She lives with the guilt of that for the rest of her life. It's one of the reasons she never tells Ledas and Ryori about the part she played in Cardinal's schemes.
The cliffhanger to end this chapter implies Jia's about to murder Ryori. Spraying Ledas with the mist seems to reinforce this idea. I do hope that from the way I've characterized her up to this point, most readers would pick up on the fact that she's not going to go through with that.
Another great chapter. This chapter is part 1 of the climax of the whole saga. We get a lot of romantic shit going on with Ledas/Ryori and Chiaki/Chiwan. Two of my favorite deleted scenes are in this chapter, and neither is overtly sexual (although there's some explicit language in them, to be fair). The fourth deleted scene is the best moment in the whole saga, hands down. I re-read that all the time. All of the scenes flow nicely together. I loved the callback to the f-slur discussion between Chiaki and Dr. Fusen with Hizara calling Hachi a fraidy-cat. The entire fifth scene on the yacht was ambitious beyond what has usually been seen in this saga. Tons of characterization and humor, particularly around Chiaki and Chiwan. Jia's character progression in this chapter is an underrated part, leading to a critical climax with her character in the next chapter. She's starting to become the Jia I know and love from Country Matters and Girl. All these chapters are so, so good man. It's going to be impossible to rank them. I do have to say, this one is particularly elevated by its deleted scenes. It's a great chapter without them, but with them, it's probably top 3 (I know I've already said that about two other chapters, but these are so hard to rank!). Looking forward to seeing if any of the remaining chapters can match this one's quality.

10. Spice Boys Never Cry

<5:54 A.M.>

<CLOSE-UP OF LEDAS LYING IN A SMOLDERING CRATER; HE HAS WOKEN UP, BUT STRUGGLES TO MOVE>

Ledas: <IN HIS MIND> What the heck’s going on? <FIRST-PERSON VIEW OF HIS FUZZY PERSPECTIVE COMING SHARPLY INTO CLARITY AS HE WITNESSES THE ONSLAUGHT AGAINST HIS SAIBAMEN> No! Why can’t I move? What’s wrong with me? I have to help them. I can’t let them die!

Ledas: I know, buddy. I know. <HE BITES HIS LIP, GULPING AND BLINKING RAPIDLY> Whoever did this is gonna pay big time. I’ll kill them. I promise. <CARAWA BEATS HIS CHEST WITH ONE FIST, SNARLING; LEDAS CLOSES HIS EYES, SENSING> This ends today. For Ses and Ame! <HE YELLS, HIS AURA EXPLODING AROUND HIM WITH PLASMA SPARKS AS HE USES 100% OF HIS POWER> Watch this. I’m gonna be tonight’s biggest news story.

<5:59 A.M.>

<DR. USUBA’S LABORATORY, CENTRAL CITY>

<TWENTY-THREE PEOPLE ARE IN THE ROOM; DR. USUBA STANDS BEFORE HIS STATION, WATCHING THE VIDEO MONITORS ON THE FAR WALL (TAKING UP MOST OF THAT WALL) THAT HAD BEEN SHOWING THE TINY KI-SUCKING PROBES’ POINTS OF VIEW; THE OTHER NEW RED RIBBON ARMY SCIENTISTS ARE ALSO WATCHING THE SCREENS SHOWING RYORI AND LEDAS’ BACKYARD FROM THE DRONES’ PERSPECTIVE; THE FEED CUTS OUT ON EVERY SCREEN SIMULTANEOUSLY, CAUSING THE DOCTOR’S EYES TO BUG OUT; HE’S SWEATING PROFUSELY; SWATTING AT A FLY BUZZING AROUND HIM>

Dr. Usuba: What happened? Load the backup feed. Hurry.

NRRA Scientist #1: It’s no use, Doctor, we’ve lost contact.

Dr. Usuba: Impossible. We were winning, ripping the monsters to shreds. The boy should be paralyzed. It doesn’t make sense. No, it must be a glitch. Check again.

<DR. USUBA STRUGGLES TO HIS FEET; HIS CLOTHES ARE TORN AND HE IS BLEEDING FROM MULTIPLE PLACES; A GASH IN HIS FOREHEAD HAS PAINTED HALF HIS FACE WITH BLOOD>

Dr. Usuba: You damn dirty ape. What are you doing here?

Ledas: I sensed my energy in this place before. I don’t know how you stole it, but you’re clearly hunting me. This ends right now.

Dr. Usuba: <VOICE RISING AND CRACKING> Don’t you dare try to take the moral high ground, you filthy low-down alien bastard. I was there the day the Saiyans destroyed East City. I lost everything—family, friends, everything! Those scars will never heal. I won’t let it happen again. Earth belongs to humankind, not you. You have no right to be here. <HE SPITS BLOOD ONTO THE FLOOR> It’s time for you to go. Permanently.

Ledas: East City’s destruction wasn’t on me. This building, however, I’m not too fond of.

Dr. Usuba: <SHIELDING HIS EYES FROM THE ENERGY’S INTENSITY; BARKING TO THE SCIENTISTS> Release the rest of them. We’re out of time. Swarm him, kill him, bury him!

<SCOWLING, THE SAIYAN WATCHES AS THE HUMANS FUMBLE AROUND; A SCIENTIST PRESSES SOMETHING ON A REMOTE CONTROL; MOMENTS LATER, LEDAS FEELS THE FAMILIAR SUCKING PAIN OF THOSE TINY DRONES; ONE GLANCES HIM ACROSS THE CHEEK, CUTTING HIM, POPPING IN A BRIGHT GREEN EXPLOSION SECONDS AFTER; LEDAS BLINKS, UNMOVING, HIS ENERGY REMAINING STABLE; SEVERAL MORE EXPLOSIONS GO OFF, BUT THEY DO LITTLE DAMAGE; LEDAS SMILES SADLY>

Ledas: That all you got? What a waste.

<2:49 P.M.>

Chiaki: I dunno, that’s kind of mean.

Ryori: She gets tans all the time.

Azashi: Not that dark.

Ryori: Plus, by the time she’s applied the instant tanning cream, it’ll be too late. She’ll have to come to class looking like that.

Chiaki: Eh, I don’t know. She might call out sick. What do you think, Azashi?

Azashi: I’m down for it, but we should pick something else if everyone’s not on board.

Ledas: Agreed. It’s gotta be perfect. Personally, I don’t think it’s savage enough. We gotta get her real good.

Azashi: Holy shit, dude. A gas explosion can take out a whole building like that? That’s terrifying. It had to be structurally unsound.

Chiaki: I don’t know, seems weird. Gas explosions aren’t that rare. Never heard of one taking down a building.

Azashi: Probably depends on which floor the explosion occurred.

Ledas: <HOLDING A STEADFAST GAZE ON THE OTHER TELEVISION, BETRAYING NO EMOTION, EVEN IF HIS EYES ARE A LITTLE RED> That’s a shame.

Azashi: Yo, no cheating. We’re on break.

Ryori: Even if you spotted him ten kills, he wouldn’t win before Chiaki.

Azashi: Not the point. It’s about the integrity of the game. Don’t mess up my K/D. That’s sacred shit, man.

Ryori: Get over yourself. It’s a custom game.

Chiaki: <STRETCHING AND EATING FROM A BAG OF CHIPS> Hey, uh, what happened to your other bed? Didn’t both of you used to sleep in here?

Ledas: That hasn’t changed.

Ryori: <SHOVING HIM SOFTLY; HIS CHEEKS HAVE GONE ROSEY> W-we upgraded, that’s all.

Chiaki: <WALKING OVER TO THE NIGHTSTAND WHILE SLAMMING CHIPS DOWN HIS GULLET LIKE A PROPER PIGGY> What’s this?

Ryori: Fuck, dude, I thought you put that away before they got here.

Ledas: Oh, I forgot. <GIGGLING, FINDING THIS HILARIOUS; INAUTHENTICALLY> Oops.

Chiaki: Does that apply to everyone? And what about you two? <MOCK OUTRAGE> Why does nobody adhere to the house rules? So disrespectful, man.

Azashi: <WITH A BROAD GRIN> Whatever. I just want to know if these sheets are clean enough to sit on.

Chiaki: Yeah, it’s gotta be like a Motel 6 up in this bitch.

Ryori: <SARCASTICALLY> Haha, fuck you guys too.

Chiaki: I mean, now I wouldn’t put it past you to try.

Ledas: I really did forget about that stupid note. Sorry. Didn’t want them to see it.

Ryori: It’s not a big deal, dude. They were gonna find out anyway.

Ledas: I guess. Oh well, what’s done is done.

Ryori: Were you fine having them over?

Ledas: Why?

Ryori: I mean, after what happened this morning. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone or not.

Ledas: <FOCUSING ON THE PINEAPPLE> I had no friends in the Planet Trade Organization. My torments were my own to bear. It was unbelievably lonely. I didn’t understand what I was missing out on until I came to Earth. I don’t know. I suppose I prefer it this way. You guys kept my mind off it. Not that I’ll forget Ses and Ame. Never. But you helped a lot. You don’t know how much.

Ryori: Don’t worry about it, bro. And <HE TAKES THE PIECE OF PAPER OUT OF HIS POCKET, SMOOTHING IT OUT> now that we’re home alone, the policy’s back on. What are you waiting for?

<9:27 P.M.>

Nhobusa: Our position remains tenuous. Until he awakens, we are to hold steady. Those are my orders. That means no unauthorized actions against the aliens. Are we clear?

Jia: Is that a direct order?

Nhobusa: Correct. Hold steady until he regains consciousness.

Oscalpano: How many other members of SAARO survived?

Nhobusa: Five associates and two dozen or so lower-level employees stationed in the Crimson Fingers. The rest of the team was wiped out when the tower collapsed. We’re all that’s left on the mainland.

Oscalpano: The kid hasn’t healed yet. This is our only chance. We need to strike. Mr. Cardinal would want to wake up to good news.

Nhobusa: As the acting commander, I must caution restraint. What do you propose? Our budget is practically nil at the moment. I possess little power to change that. Biding our time seems the best course of action. We can’t beat him as we are.

Oscalpano: <SHAKING HIS HEAD VIGOROUSLY; WALKING OVER TO THE OTHERS> I won’t go along with this. We must him ‘em now. With everything we’ve got.

Nhobusa: That’s not your call to make. With Cardinal indisposed, King Furry has appointed someone else as head of SAARO. We’ve lost access to government funding. Any additional expenses must come from his or our accounts. I cannot and will not give you access to his accounts. Anything you do against the boy from here out is on you.

Jia: I’ll continue to monitor him.

Nhobusa: The no-interference policy is now active. That applies to you as well, Oscal. Above all else, use discretion. Observe, but do not interfere.

Oscalpano: <SHAKING HIS HEAD> We can kill the alien. There has to be a way. Poison, maybe?

Jia: He wasn’t affected by the paralyzing agent like an average human would be. He inhaled more than an elephant could survive and was able to overcome it minutes later. We don’t understand the biology we’re working against. The risk has become untenable. My life could be put in danger if he finds out. I cannot risk it.

Oscalpano: I don’t care. We must act. Somehow.

Nhobusa: You will not have the funding or the support of our team if you go through with that. You’ve already been told—

Oscalpano: Shut up. Our cause stands on a knife’s edge. I’m not afraid. You refuse to act because our boss is unconscious. Well, I’m not giving up. It doesn’t matter. It’s an irrelevant factor. Do you care about protecting the Earth or not? The fucking alien bullshit infesting our planet has to go. How do you not have an innate desire to protect the world? Isn’t that why you joined SAARO? It’s why I did. What’s wrong with you?

Nhobusa: You’re looking for a fight. I’m not impressed by schoolyard theatrics. Do not act, or you will be doing so outside of the purview of the New Red Ribbon Army. You have been warned.

Oscalpano: I’m looking for a solution. I’m the only one trying, damn it! Our window remains open, provided we have a means to kill him.

Nhobusa: We don’t. I’ve already told you. This discussion’s over. Stand down.

Nurse #1: How are we doing tonigh—

Nhobusa: <FLASHING HIS SAARO BADGE> Give us some privacy. We’ll be out of your hair shortly.

Nhobusa: Continue as if nothing has changed. Monitor the alien, but do not interfere. Contact me if he threatens the planet.

Jia: What if Oscal tries anything? Should I stop him?

Nhobusa: No interference no matter what. Return to the house. Do not speak of what happened here. The home and its related expenses are still covered. There’s roughly two years worth of funding left in that account. You will be fine for now. I will contact you when Cardinal’s condition improves.

Jia: <IN A WHISPER> The doctor said they’d been unable to detect brain waves. He’s not just in a coma. He’s a vegetable.

Nhobusa: Quiet. We don’t know for certain. They’re running additional tests.

Jia: If he’s done for, we must plan our next course of action.

Nhobusa: Don’t allow pessimism to consume you. We’ll know the full extent of his condition soon. In the meantime, act as if nothing has changed.

Jia: <GOES TO SAY SOMETHING, CATCHES HERSELF, AND PAUSES> Then this is goodbye for now. <THEY SHAKE HANDS> Don’t let him die.

Nhobusa: Never. The New Red Ribbon Army’s not going anywhere.

<11:25 A.M.>

Chiwan: First one to drink the milk loses. You have to eat one every minute until you give up. Them’s the rules.

Hachi: <WITH GRIM RESOLUTION; THRUSTING HIS HAND DOWN WHILE STARTING A TIMER ON HIS PHONE WITH THE OTHER> Begin!

Chiwan: How was that?

Hachi: Anybody need milk?

Ledas: <INHALING HARD, HIS MOUTH FORMING A SHAPE REMINISCENT OF A BLOW-UP DOLL’S> The flavor’s not bad, but dang is that spicy. Whew, that’s no joke.

Tabashi: No chance. <WITH DETERMINATION, HE STARES LEDAS DOWN AND TAKES ANOTHER HABANERO FROM THE PLATE, EATING IT IN SECONDS>

Hachi: Amazing. Hasn’t even been a minute.

Chiwan: First one’s always the easiest.

Ledas: You can’t win. I hate that milk drink. Disgusting human creation. You can’t make me drink it no matter what.

Chiwan: Unbelievable. Look at them go.

<CLOSE-UP OF CHIAKI WATCHING HER>

Tabashi: <DOWNING THE LAST HABANERO; HIS GAZE IS STILL FIXATED UPON LEDAS; HIS FROWN HAS NOT GONE DOWN> Thirsty yet?

Ledas: I’m just getting warmed up. What’s next?

Chiwan: Dude, that’s hardcore. Honestly, I didn’t think it’d get to this point. Up next are the Carolina Reapers.

Azashi: I hate those things. The spice is inhuman. It’s like drinking pepper spray.

Hachi: <UNVEILING THE BOWL OF REAPERS> This is the real deal. They’re like ten times hotter than habaneros^[27]. I’d like to see you try to get through them all. Yeah frickin’ right. This is where it’ll be decided.

<UNPERTURBED, TABASHI TEARS INTO THE REAPER; LEDAS FOLLOWS SUIT>

Ryori: <TO LEDAS> How is it?

Ledas: It’s hot. It’s really, really… <HE LEANS FORWARD, BREATHING HARD, WIPING HIS NOSE; SWEAT RUNS OFF HIM LIKE HE HAD JUST COME OUT OF THE SHOWER> Oof. Fair play, humans. This is the hottest thing I’ve ever tasted.

Hachi: Come on, it’s time to eat another.

Hachi: You need to eat another one, guys. You aren’t keeping up.

Tabashi: <PANTING> Shit, man, there’s no way I’m eating another one of those.

Ledas: <WIPING SWEAT FROM HIS EYES> This isn’t food, it’s pure torture.

Tabashi: The heat’s unbearable. It’s in my throat. My stomach’s cramping.

Chiwan: Hey, you guys agreed to the challenge. That’s what you get with the hottest pepper in the world.

Hachi: Lunch period’s going to be over soon. We have to pick a winner.

Chiwan: First to eat two?

Hachi: Sounds good. First to eat two becomes the new undisputed Spice Off champion.

Chiaki: <WITH (IN HIS OPINION) A SLICK SMILE> You pussies. It can’t be that hot.

Chiaki: Kami, it barely helps.

Hachi: Winner!

<MS. MAHOBI IS TEACHING; THE CLASS WATCHES A MOVIE WITH THE LIGHTS OFF; TABASHI, LEDAS, AND CHIAKI HAVE PILES OF PAPER TOWELS AND TISSUES ON THEIR DESKS, DABBING AT THEIR EYES AND NOSES, THE PAIN OF THE SPICE PHYSICALLY AFFECTING THEM; MS. MAHOBI GIVES THEM A DARK LOOK AND SHUSHES THEIR MOANING; CHIWAN HAS TO BITE HER LIP TO STOP HERSELF FROM GIGGLING>

Ryori: She must’ve thought you were messing with her.

Chiaki: <CRUMPLING UP THE PAPER> I don’t care if the school technically has the legal right to give me detention, it’s fucked up and shouldn’t be allowed. They aren’t my parents. It’s not their place to discipline me after school hours. That’s not their time. They have no right. I don’t care what they think of my behavior. We weren’t disruptive. We didn’t earn that detention. She’s way out of line.

Ledas: I completely agree. This is one part of human culture I don’t get. It’s immoral to give teachers that power. They shouldn’t be able to compel us to do anything after school hours.

Chiaki: Well, that’s it. No spray tan for Ms. Mahobi. She has to endure something much worse. We’re going to fuck her up. We have to get her bad.

Tabashi: <SHAKING; STARING AT HIS DETENTION SLIP> G-guys, what am I going to do? They can’t give me detention. My uncle will send me to military school. I can’t believe it. This can’t be happening.

Ryori: Just sign his name yourself. Don’t make it obvious. It’s what I always do and I’ve never been caught.

Chiaki: Yeah, have you never been in detention before? <CHIAKI PULLS A PEN OUT OF HIS POCKET AND SIGNS HIS MOM’S NAME IN LARGE LOOPY LETTERING> Easy as that.

<6:13 P.M.>

Bulma: Hey Jia, I’ve finished my work on the healing tanks. <SHE HOLDS UP AN ORANGE CAPSULE> Is it all right if I install one on Ledas’ ship, or are you busy?

Jia: <REACTING SOMEWHAT SLOWLY> Now’s as good a time as any. Come in.

Bulma: You’re still using them. That’s great. How are they working out?

Jia: They’re a life-saver. I don’t think my knees could take the amount of cleaning required to keep the boys’ bathroom from stinking up the house. Seriously, you’ve saved me so much trouble, you don’t even know.

Bulma: I know what you mean. My boy Trunks is hardly any better. It’s one of the reasons I designed them.

Bulma: Is he here?

Jia: The boys are off somewhere ‘studying’, apparently.

Bulma: <SNORTS> That’s believable. I’ll text him when I’m done. I imagine he’ll want to heal as soon as possible. If I know one thing about Saiyans, they’ll break their bodies to train. They don’t know what’s best for themselves most of the time. He’s probably been dying to return to training with my husband.

Jia: He’s a highly driven individual. You’ll think of me as just awful, but most of the time, I don’t understand how to handle him. I don’t feel I’ve been doing a good job. He’s not that different, but he is. I’m always cooking. You’ll have to come up with a bot to deal with that someday. I didn’t sign up to be a chef. And all the training. Training day in, day out, sometimes to the wee hours in the morning. For what? What’s he hoping to accomplish?

Bulma: If he’s anything like Vegeta, it’s to become the strongest Super Saiyan in the universe. They’re intensely competitive with one another. Now that they’ve reunited, I’m sure he’ll want to close the gap, whatever it takes.

Jia: To what end? What is their strength needed for?

Bulma: Saiyans are warriors by nature. It’s just who they are. And I’d say sparring and defending the world from alien threats is preferable to conquering planets and selling them on the galactic market, but that’s just me.

Jia: Seriously?

Bulma: Being married to a Saiyan, I can tell you, this is one thing he never stops talking about. Back when they were enslaved to a galactic emperor named Frieza, they conquered planets almost weekly. Their species is no joke, but Goku, Vegeta, Ledas…they’re good people. You don’t have anything to fear. Earth is their home just as much as is it’s yours and mine. They wouldn’t do anything to harm us. Well, I don’t know the kid as well as you, but he’s polite and laid back from my experience, and if Vegeta trusts him, that’s good enough for me.

Jia: Somewhat airheaded and detached, but, yes, I’d tend to agree.

Bulma: Look, living with Saiyans isn’t easy, trust me. They’re more than a handful. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. What you’re doing is incredible. The stamina required to raise a Saiyan is no small task. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that they can be stubborn to a fault. You’ll have to get used to that, I’m afraid. There’s no changing them.

Jia: <TITTERING> I love your perspective. Let's get together for lunch sometime next week to continue this conversation. I’m curious to hear another person’s point of view on how to deal with them.

Bulma: Yeah, I’d love to blow off steam after spending the last week on these healing pods. <SHE HOLDS UP THE CAPSULE CONTAINING THE ONE SHE IS GOING TO INSTALL> Want to see how it’s installed?

Jia: Absolutely.

<12:53 A.M.>

<SHARP-ANGLED OVERHEAD SHOT OF THE FRONT YARD FROM THE BACK; A HOODIED FIGURE HOPS THE FENCE AND APPROACHES THE GRAVITY TRAINING UNIT, TYPING THE PASSWORD TO ENTER INSIDE; THE FIGURE MOVES TO THE LADDER LEADING TO THE LOWER FLOOR, REMOVING HIS HOOD AND FACE COVERING; THIS PERSON IS OSCALPANO; HE DIMS THE LIGHTS AT THE CENTRAL CONSOLE>

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references the spice-off challenge and Ledas losing Ses and Ame. Ledas is a spiceboi for taking part in the challenge, and how dare he show emotions for losing two of his Saibamen ever because he's male? The spiceboys are also Garlic Jr.'s henchmen. That overlap was not lost on me. I believe I had the most difficulty coming up with this chapter's name out of the entire saga, but it's one of the best ones, all things considered.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 10: Spice Boys Never Cry
  1. scene 1: Jia stands over Ryori, about to execute him, but can't do it; in the background, Ledas is attacked; his Saibamen come to his aid; Ses and Ame are killed before Ledas is able to overcome the paralyzing agent and destroy the mini energy-sucking drones
  2. scene 2: from Usuba's POV, he sees the drones go silent and then seconds later is attacked by Ledas; Ledas destroys the entire NRRA laboratory; Cardinal is severely injured but survives
  3. scene 3: Ledas, Ryori, Chiaki, and Azashi hang out, playing video games; Ledas does not want to talk about the Saibamen and is still emotionally affected, but takes comfort in Ryori's friendship - something he didn't have access to at low points in the PTO
  4. scene 4: Oscalpano and Jia are at the hospital with the comatose Cardinal; Oscalpano comes up with a plan to kill the boys Jia reluctantly goes along with
  5. scene 5: short scene showing some school stuff; Ledas and Tabashi settle their differences at lunch with a spice off with Carolina Reapers
  6. scene 6: on Monday evening, Bulma shows up and installs the rejuvenation tank on the lower level of the gravity training unit, in the room where the bed and food is; Ledas enters the chamber
  7. scene 7: Oscalpano enters the ship at night to execute the comatose Ledas; Jia saves him by spraying Oscalpano with a fatal dose of the CLEAN-BOT's paralyzing agent
2. This outline is completely accurate to what I ended up writing. Of note is that when I wrote the outline, I was still of the belief that Cardinal would survive the saga. This doesn't affect the outline but it did require me to change some dialogue during the editing phase.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 10 are as follows:
1. 3/14/23: regarding Bulma's plotline, have her give Ledas a rejuvenation tank for his ship - he takes this with him and installs it permanently on the Starchasers' base on Xikal later on, which will be oft-used in the Emperor Kuriza Saga as well
2. 7/3/23: have a scene where they are in Ledas/Ryori's room and there is a note written by Ledas on the nightstand next to their bed (this is the one bed phase) that says "Underwear-free Zone" with a little stick figure laughing; Ryori is extremely embarrassed once Chiaki finds this, as it is clear proof that he and Ledas are dating ---> should be written as "下着禁止区域" (no-underwear zone); this will have to happen several chapters after what I'm currently on, as Ledas and Ryori don't start dating until week 3 or 4 out of 5
3. 7/15/23: have an upcoming scene where Oscalpano modifies the CLEAN-BOTs to attack Ledas, and then have Jia deprogram them later on
4. 8/8/23: scene to happen: Bulma finishes the rejuvenation tank and installs one in Ledas' ship
5. 8/8/23: scene to happen: Dr. Usuba and Oscalpano + the RRA soldiers are vaporized by Ledas
6. 8/8/23: scene to happen: scene of them playing video games in Ledas/Ryori's room and there is now only one bed (post senzu bean stuff)
7. 8/8/23: scene to happen: scene where one of Ledas' Saibamen is killed by the small buzzing things after he returns home
8. 8/18/23: have the Central City explosion be on TV and Ledas make a "that's a shame" comment about it
9. 8/30/23: previous idea was to kill one of the Saibamen, like Carawa, when Ledas is attacked the final time; however, the new idea is for Ses and Ame to die at this time, Carawa and Wilde to showcase themselves heroically, turning blue in the process, which leads to Ledas breaking free of the paralyzing agent, saving them, then flying to Central City for explosive vengeance
10. 8/30/23: have someone, either Tabashi or Chiaki, mention that Ledas/Ryori's room only has one bed now instead of two and Ryori mumbles that they upgraded ---> leads into Tabashi/Chiaki finding Ledas' "下着禁止区域" note on the desk
11. 9/5/23: oscalpano scene to happen: he sneaks into the boys' house one night when Ledas is sleep-walking, only this time, Ledas briefly opens his eyes and vaporizes Oscalpano after being spooked even though he's still dreaming
12. 9/7/23: sunrise on June 12, 2022 was 5:49 a.m.
13. 9/7/23: possibly have Cardinal be injured in the blast that destroys Usuba, rendering him in a coma/unconscious
14. 9/8/23: I am very unsure of the name of ch10
15. 9/8/23: maybe Tabashi and Chiaki should be in the playing video games scene, but for now, the idea is to just have Ledas and Ryori there; I am not sure which idea is better
16. 9/8/23: in the video game scene have Chiaki and them discuss the instant skin tanning lotion prank but they don't go through with it for being too mean
17. 9/9/23: the spice challenge was moved from the video game scene to the school lunch scene today; Jia scene was moved from video game scene to a scene all of its own at the hospital too; figuring out this scene led me to find cohesion in this chapter
18. 9/9/23: in the scene where Ledas kills Usuba, have Usuba rant about how he hates the Saiyans, the craziness is off-the-charts, and because of this, Ledas believes him to be the one who orchestrated everything against him
19. 9/13/23: there needs to be a second associate, Cardinal's second in command at the time, present during the coma scene; neither Oscalpano nor Jia are his highest-ranking employees, though both are fairly high up in the pecking order: working name right now is Nobhusa
My notes for the second draft of chapter 10 are as follows:
1. 1/6/24: have Ledas be more emotional when he responds to Wilde in the first scene
2. 11/15/23: for the second draft, Chiwan/Chiaki/Hachi/Tabashi/Ippi/Azashi saw the SS3 Goku vs Fat Buu fight, so they should have some inkling of Super Saiyans aside from the slides presented to them in the history classes; someone should mention this to Ledas at some point, that he is of the same species (perhaps even asking if he's Goku's son) as Goku; 1/6/24 addendum: have this take place during the Halo 2 custom games in scene 3; he was already asked if he was Goku's son and denied it, so don't bring that up
3. 10/9/23: for the second draft, I'm starting to think that Cardinal should die even if this requires rewriting "Three Foolish Monkeys" (the only post-TF story he has appeared in or been mentioned in); if I do this, Nhobusa will need to be killed by Jia in ch12; 1/6/24 addendum: during scene 4, have Cardinal's condition be worse, with no brain activity as of yet, indicating that while he's alive, he's probably a vegetable (ironic in a way) and that his mind gave out before his ancient body (ironic in another way)
4. 1/6/24: Nhobusa should note that he's second in command while Cardinal's in a coma more specifically
5. 1/6/24: change the two dozen associates to employees
6. 1/6/24: have Nhobusa mention that taking money out of Cardinal's personal funds is possible but risky if Cardinal wakes up and doesn't approve, meaning they are playing with their own lives at the risk of gaining revenge upon Ledas in multiple ways
7. 1/6/24: change Ippi's role in the spice-off scene ---> have her record it and say she's uploading it to Tiktok
8. 3/29/24: have Nhobusa mention that the only other surviving associates are in the Crimson Fingers
9. 3/29/24: four dozen habaneros is unreasonable; it should be like 6 apiece
There's a couple of things to go over in regards to this chapter's notes. Firstly, I came up with that note in the bedroom months before getting to this chapter. Horny thinking is oftentimes the most productive. Cardinal wasn't originally going to be injured in the building's destruction. I decided upon that just before writing the chapter's first draft. Originally, Ledas killed Oscalpano. During the writing of the chapter, I decided to give that honor to Jia, as it complimented her character arc more. Nhobusa was thought up while writing this chapter. I don't know why exactly I needed him. It just didn't feel like Oscalpano or Jia were his second-in-command. The spice-off challenge originally being in the boys' home was a bad idea. Glad I fixed that. After I wrote this chapter, chapter 11, and the first two scenes of chapter 12 (the second scene of chapter 12 is the one where King Furry visits Cardinal), I came up with the idea that Cardinal may not survive this saga. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to go for that plot at the time, so just wrote out the rest of chapter 12 as I had already planned to. This was changed during the second draft, obviously, and is one of the biggest changes I made during the editing phase. I had planned on killing Nhobusa in chapter 12 originally if Cardinal died. I don't remember exactly when I eventually decided against that, but it was clearly at least by 3/29/24, as the notes on that day indicate that I had begun to think about a sequel story where Nhobusa and the remaining NRRA associates are killed (which wouldn't be in this chapter). The fact that I knew they'd be stationed in the Crimson Fingers implies I had at least a vague notion of what Monkeyboy's First Vacation would become at that point.
I began working on this chapter on September 9, 2023, three days after finishing the first draft of chapter 9. The writing went slowly, though I wrote every day. I finished the first draft on September 27^th. Scenes 4 and 6 were heavily edited during the first draft. I did minor edits to the other scenes, but nothing major. I began the second draft of May 11, 2024, finishing the final draft on May 13^th. It was published to the wiki soon after. The editing phase went smoothly for this one. Nothing crazy worth mentioning.
The first scene begins just after sunrise. I matched the sunrise and sunset times for the story with the dates from 2022, as that was the year this story was outlined and I began working on it.
"RYORI SLEEPS ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BED" - notice it doesn't say "HIS BED".
Jia chooses the boys over Cardinal when she decides not to kill Ryori. Had the bots killed Ledas, she would've been in deep trouble (likely executed) for not performing her mission. I'd expect her and Ryori to flee in that case. Cardinal would spend the rest of his life tracking them down if it had played out that way. She knows the boys aren't bad people, no matter what Cardinal says, and plans on setting Ledas loose against Cardinal after he defeats the Kiseibachi. However, Ledas ends up flying to the building himself before Jia can have a conversation with him. She did not expect him to sense his powers being manipulated by the Kiseibachi in Central City.
It probably took weeks and millions of zeni to fix their backyard.
The Saibamen show tremendous courage and loyalty defending Ledas against a seemingly overwhelming invisible enemy. Ses and Ame go out as heroes, making them two of the noblest Saibamen who ever lived. I was quite emotionally affected by their deaths. I know I didn't have to kill them, but the plot would've been weaker had I kept them alive. It's just how it has to be. The strongest story must be made. I can't get too attached to my characters. It sucks, though. I'll miss those guys.
Jia almost certainly paid for the damage the to old woman's backyard as well. I don't expect it made the woman feel any better about the Saibamen. She probably complained to the police again.
Had Ledas been awake when hit by the paralyzing agent, it wouldn't have affected him as much. The fact that he was asleep, absorbing it for around 30 minutes, meant that it had time to do more damage than it otherwise should have. The treatment, of course, is powering up so much that he can work through the paralysis, overcoming it with his uncommon powers.
Wilde and Carawa's auras hint at their upcoming transformation, explaining why they were able to hold out while Ses and Ame couldn't.
Ledas is close to breaking down crying at the end of the first scene. He loved his Saibamen so much. But he cannot lose focus, and he knows that. He has to deal with whoever sent the Kiseibachi before he can mourn his fallen buddies. Ledas' maturity is an evolution of his character from The Forgotten. He would not have acted like this in the Planet Earth Saga or Reunion Saga, and it's debatable if he would've been able to at the end of the Fulfillment Saga. Personally, I don't think so. This evolution is tied to him finding his home and friends, settling into his role as a warrior on Earth. He's not the smartest guy, but he remembers exactly where he sensed his power being manipulated back in chapter 8. It's a great moment of recall, tempered by his fury. Using 100% of his power isn't necessary. He does so to get there as quickly as possible, to make sure he doesn't lose no matter what, and to show Usuba and the others just who they're dealing with. They have no chance against him; he wants them to be sure of that before they die.
It was very kind of all the remaining NRRA scientists and soldiers (not on the Crimson Fingers) to gather with Usuba. Makes things a lot easier for Ledas.
Usuba is sweating so much because in his heart of hearts, he knows the Kiseibachi have failed for a second time. He's really worried about how Cardinal will react. At no point does he expect Ledas knows where he is. That comes as a total shock.
The first scientist Ledas kills has it lucky. Didn't even know what was going on. That's the way to go.
It was interesting writing for enraged Ledas. He's been mad before, but I don't think he's ever been shown so confident in his fury. He's controlling his emotions better than he has previously. I think this is to be expected because he's up against mere humans. Plus, it's been a long time since he lost someone he cared about so deeply (his parents back when he was 4, though he didn't learn about it till he was 5). I wasn't sure exactly how he'd act until I wrote it out. His dialogue wasn't edited much from first to final draft. I liked how it came out the first time. I really like this cool, confident, no-nonsense Ledas. We'll be seeing more of him in the future.
Usuba's wild accusations and ranting is over-the-top, portraying him as the man in charge of the attack against Ledas. This is why Ledas doesn't suspect Cardinal's involved. There's no obvious NRRA logos around, either.
Usuba's final lesson is learning it's not up to him to decide who's allowed to call Earth home. Authoritarian thoughts deserve the ultimate punishment.
Usuba probably knows he's about to die. He goes down fighting, which I suppose could be seen as noble in a way. He's not a coward, I'll give him that.
Ledas killed a few pedestrians accidentally by taking down the building. Couldn't really be avoided. I don't think he knew about those deaths unless he listened closely to the news report later that day. It's sad, but he didn't do it on purpose. One could say his reckless rage got the better of him, but I think it'd be stupid to leave without destroying that building. For all he knows, it's their base (and he's right about that). There were over 100 NRRA soldiers in that building, most of whom weren't in the room with Ledas. He made the right call.
Cardinal would not have been in that building had he known Ledas knew about it. Again, he underestimates the boy, and this time, he will not escape the consequences.
Some might consider it strange that the climax of the story occurs with two chapters remaining, but there was a lot still to resolve in terms of the non-NRRA plotlines. Plus, Cardinal doesn't immediately die. I wanted to spend a little while developing the plot regarding his death. Building up to that moment's critical. All in all, I think if anything, the story maybe could've used a thirteenth chapter (before the bonus chapter) because of how much content remained going forward. Just because this is a climax doesn't mean it's the only climax of the story (for example, the romantic climax happened in the previous chapter). Pacing-wise, I'm satisfied with how this turned out. It's certainly not the typical story structure approach, though.
Halo 2 is a great multiplayer game. I don't think it's contemporary to Age 774. Classics never die. Ascension is one of the better multiplayer maps. It's no surprise Ledas is by far the worst at the game. He's managed a few kills, though. 4 is more than I would've bet he'd achieve. Honestly, anything above 0 is a win in my book.
The instant tanning cream idea isn't a great one. I agree with the boys that it's too mean, but it's also stupid. Thirdly, she'd know they pranked them even if she couldn't prove it. The best kind of prank would be one she doesn't know they do to her.
RENO 911! is one of the great shows of all time. Speaking of which, I need to re-watch that soon. Tonally, it fits well with this saga, being an irreverent comedy perhaps not suited for thirteen-year-olds. But they watch it anyway, because let's be real, we all did at that age.
84 accounted for bodies is not the full count by a longshot. Ledas killed 132 people (125 of them were NRRA operatives, including Usuba).
"That’s a shame." - in this moment, much is left unsaid. Ledas suppresses his rage. He wanted to say disparaging things about those dead (not the pedestrians he accidentally killed) but held his tongue. He has nothing kind to say. The quote itself is a flippant reference to Jerry Seinfeld's catchphrase from Seinfeld. Ledas' red eyes imply he was crying earlier about losing Ses and Ame. I didn't feel the need to show such a scene. Felt like that'd be disrespectful to the character. He didn't even let Ryori know how bad he was hurting, so we were definitely not going to be privy to that scene.
K/D is sacred shit even in custom games. If you don't take custom games seriously you can't possibly be playing for the right reasons! Sarcasm aside, both Azashi and Ryori have legitimate POVs, enhancing the humor for me.
Ryori invited Chiaki and Azashi over to their house to play video games in their room. He had to know they'd noticed there was only one bed. It's like he wanted to come out to them subconsciously but couldn't bring himself to say the words.
The stick figure is undoubtedly at full mast, as they'd say.
The note on the end table is a playful little in-joke between Ledas and Ryori. Ledas forgot to put it away. That much is certain. The kanji means "no underwear zone", implying the boys don't wear underwear in bed as a general rule. Given that they share the bed, the implication of sexual activity is obvious. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Chiaki and Azashi know exactly what's going on after seeing that note.
I didn't make a note about what the kanji translates to. Shouldn't have to explain why. But if you hover your mouse over the kanji, the meaning will pop up. This is less obvious than a reference note but still fulfills my obligation. I figured that if anyone went to copy the kanji to put it into google translate, they'd brush their cursor over the phrase and see the message. If not, oh well. This plotline will not be more overt. It's already kind of more explicit than I had originally intended in the third scene, but that came about because I thought Chiaki and Azashi would notice the bed missing.
While Ledas forgot to put the note away, he doesn't really care that his friends found it. Ryori's mortified look is hilarious to him. Ledas is much more comfortable in his sexuality than Ryori is in public. This continues to be explored in Monkeyboy's First Vacation.
The Motel 6 comment makes it crystal clear Chiaki and Azashi know Ledas and Ryori are dating, or are at least engaging in simian mating activities frequently. Notably, they playfully banter with the boys, not taking offense or hating on them for being in a homosexual relationship. Their friendships strengthen as a result.
"I mean, now I wouldn’t put it past you to try." - Chiaki thinks himself prettier than he truly is (at least in Ryori's opinion).
Gemini is one of my all-time favorite Halo 2 maps. I was not being cheeky saying it's underrated (considering it's a rarely-played DLC map). It's great and a perfect map for fanon screenshots. I've always wondered who owned that phantom that got left behind in the right hangar.
Chiaki never acted his age as much as in the moment he recorded that video gloating about his custom game win.
Wilde and Carawa are certainly outside during the third scene, mourning Ses and Ame in private. The fruit smoothie Ledas and Ryori are making is not just for them, but for the Saibamen as well, to cheer them up. While this is unstated, I think it's fairly clear that's what's happening. It exemplifies the undertone of loyalty Ledas and his Saibamen have for one another. Jia could have some smoothie too if there's any left over, I'm sure.
Mangoes are a bitch to cut. Being able to use ki must be so nice. I'd eat so many more mangoes than I do nowadays if I could cut them like that.
"I didn’t understand what I was missing out on until I came to Earth." - one of the core themes of West City Saga is evoked in this sentence, and this is a big reason why Ledas has had so much character growth since the end of the Fulfillment Saga.
Ledas bares his soul at the end of the third scene. He's heartfelt and grateful to Ryori (and Chiaki and Azashi) for keeping him company on a terrible day. He's only able to express this because of earlier conversations he and Ryori had where they grew more comfortable sharing their feelings (particularly in the first two chapters). Ryori is a great boyfriend in this scene, exemplified in his last line where he puts the no-underwear policy back in effect. The levity brings them closer together, as does the promise of an upcoming, much-needed intimate moment. Just all-around love how they act in that conversation. It's one of my favorite interactions of theirs.
Nhobusa took a while to develop. His personality wasn't the easiest to come up with. With that said, I've now written the remainder of his story in Monkeyboy's First Vacation, so I have a better idea of who he is. He'll likely also appear in Crimson Shores and may even appear in my unnamed story about Mrs. Brief (the final Spindlerun-style story I have planned). There's a lot more of Nhobusa to be seen. He's basically a cameo character in the West City Saga. Notably, he commands a strong presence. His charisma is far above Oscalpano's, and his professionalism and decisiveness indicate he's been with the NRRA for a long time. This is true. He's been there since the beginning. He's Cardinal's right-hand man for a reason. The sense in this story is that he's a villain that'll be dealt with another time, not some one-off character we'll never see again.
Cardinal was already put in a coma during the Fulfillment Saga. I realized while writing the first draft of Cardinal's final scene in chapter 12 that slipping into two comas within two months is not only unrealistic, it's badly repetitive. It's not good writing if he just slips into comas all the time and comes out of them without consequence. That was a major reason why he ended up dying here. I'm not sure if he's actually in a coma as of the final draft. He's essentially brain-dead but alive, so maybe that qualifies as a coma, but it feels different. There's no hope of curing him.
Nhobusa is in command while Cardinal's incapacitated. That is the direct chain of command. After Cardinal's death, Nhobusa leads the New Red Ribbon Army in their quest to kill Ledas from Age 774 to Age 776. He's not following an edict or list of demands Cardinal had for him. It's a simple power shift.
The five surviving associates are Tresparson, Morucan, Rambutala, Vestigia, and Zeshmedinokov. All five appear in Monkeyboy's First Vacation. Their character arcs are introduced and completed in that story. Of note, Tresparson and Morucan originally appeared in Three Foolish Monkeys. Chari and Olivien killed them in that story. When I decided to kill Cardinal in this saga, I made that story non-canon (also because I didn't want to proceed with Androids 11 and 12 in HOTD anymore), thus bringing these characters "back to life", so to speak. Their fates are pretty much the same in MFV.
Nhobusa is correct that they can't do anything to Ledas. With Usuba gone, they'll need to regroup and come up with a new plan. Now is not the time to recklessly charge at the kid. Considering they are the only three NRRA members remaining on the mainland (associates or otherwise), their lack of resources is a glaring problem. Ledas destroying that building hampered his foes more than he realized. They have nothing left except for Cardinal's funds.
Oscalpano isn't acting rationally in the fourth scene. He has no tangible plan, nothing he knows will work. He's coasting on merely a fool's hope, which I quite enjoy because it gets him killed, but from the NRRA's perspective, this is a terrible move. Oscalpano is letting down his comrades hard by letting his emotions cloud his judgment. He'd be so much more useful to them if he didn't go after Ledas, if he were still alive in Age 776.
Government funding hasn't been revoked for SAARO, just frozen. That "someone else" is Nhobusa. Until King Furry fully assesses him, they'll have no more access to government funds, meaning they'll get their funding back eventually, but not before Ledas heals. This pretty much the worst-case scenario for Oscalpano. He has to see that it just isn't in the cards to attack Ledas right now. If they want to have any hope of defeating them, they have to concede for now and come back stronger at a later date. He's too impatient, though. Cardinal's own impatience seems to have rubbed off on him, a cruel irony for the tubed vegetable in the corner.
Jia speaks authentically when she tells Oscalpano that poison wouldn't work. She's seen first-hand that their best poison just made him throw up without even feeling sick afterward. The paralyzing agent didn't work either. Had Ledas been awake when they'd administered it, he'd have overcome it faster. Even so, it only took him like 3 minutes to break through it, which is certainly not enough time for them to kill him even if they shot him off in a rocket into the sun. Her fear of her life is genuine, though she's deceptively using it as cover to get Oscalpano to back off. She wants him to back off to keep Ledas safe (not that he needs protecting), not so much thinking about Oscalpano's life. She doesn't particularly care for him, as we'll see in scene 7.
"You’re looking for a fight. I’m not impressed by schoolyard theatrics." - I had a lot of fun with this line. In one sentence, Nhobusa shuts down Oscalpano's insane emotional rant. He's cool. Doesn't beat around the bush. Whereas Oscalpano's impatient, Nhobusa's ruthlessly efficient.
The nurse made a face because she perceived Nhobusa as being rude. To be honest, I don't think he was, but I guess his intonation matters.
I wonder who Nhobusa was texting. Gotta be either Rambutala or Zeshmedinokov. I think they're the highest-ranking NRRA members at the Crimson Fingers presently. Dunno who's higher up. Haven't figured that out yet. Probably Zesh if I had to make a decision now.
"No interference no matter what." - with this, Nhobusa essentially gives Jia the green-light to let Oscalpano suicide against Ledas. I'm sure that's what she ends up telling him happened. Oscalpano dug his own grave throughout the fourth scene. Nhobusa and Jia tried their best to stop him, but he went down into the dirt kicking and screaming. Some people can't be helped.
Two years of funding for Ledas is definitely not enough for them to buy a new house after Beelzebub destroys the current one, so something must've changed between this chapter and A Quest For Booty.
The lack of brain waves is something I added in during the editing phase. It's pretty much unambiguous at this point that Cardinal's gone. Nhobusa's holding out hope because he has to. He knows just as well as she does that Cardinal will not be returning. They have to start planning for life without him. The longer they can delay that, however, the better they'll be emotionally.
Nhobusa's right that the New Red Ribbon Army isn't going anywhere. That phrase has a double-meaning. They aren't defeated yet, but they truly aren't going anywhere. They will never take over the world now that Cardinal's gone. They haven't learned their lesson. They have no hope of beating Ledas. Continuing to hunt him will only lead to a final ruin. Their hubris is their downfall.
That nurse really hated Nhobusa for some reason. I think she didn't expect Jia to exit the room at that moment and hadn't slipped back into her public persona in time, but you never know.
Get it?! It's a cloudy day!!! Ledas and Tabashi are quarreling! OMG THE SYMBOLISM!!!
Originally, there were like 5x as many habaneros. That was super unrealistic. Honestly, even 7 apiece is crazy.
I like cooking with milk, but I've never been able to drink it. I don't know, I just hate the taste. Whenever I eat cereal, I don't have it with milk, which a lot of people have thought me weird for. I can't help that I don't like the taste of milk. I've tried it. I hate it. It's great for cooking though. Adding milk into cheese sauces is top-tier. Ledas would rather sit there with his mouth burning forever than drink milk. I know this because I've eaten a ghost pepper and not drank milk afterward. I know the pain he's about to experience, although the amount of peppers he's going to eat is more than I've ever done in one sitting (what is the Dragon Ball universe if not a more hardcore version of reality?).
Hachi's in rare form in the fifth scene. He really gets into being a referee. Maybe that's his calling.
Ledas makes a huge blunder on the first pepper. Never nibble. Eat them as quickly as possible. The slower you eat an extremely hot pepper, the more painful it'll be.
I love the flavor of habaneros but the spice is on another level. I have to really work my spice tolerance up to be able to have those. Sometimes I put them in burritos or scrambled eggs, but only after getting my spice tolerance up with cayenne and serrano. Even then, it's at another level. I fancy myself a spiceboi, but I don't think I could do what Tabashi and Ledas are doing in the fifth scene.
Tabashi is hurting bad, but his pride, fighting for his father's memory, keeps him going. This is Tabashi's time to shine. This is his defining moment in the saga. He shows his quality in a massive way.
Chiaki's character arc comes into the chapter out of nowhere in the middle of the spice-off scene. On macro saga scale, I find this very cool. Better Call Saul did shit like this every now and then, and perhaps I haven't watched enough TV shows, but it was the only one I'd ever seen do that idea well. Certainly an influence, although I'm not claiming to be on BCS's level.
Carolina Reapers takes the challenge to a much higher level. It's basically going Super Saiyan, all things considered. I could eat maybe one of those then suffer through the rest of the day. After 7 habaneros? I'd be in a world of hurt. Let alone having to eat multiple reapers. Tabashi and Ledas are determined, though. Both have honor, both have strong wills, both refuse to back down for different reasons. They're the perfect matchup.
It's no wonder Azashi hates Carolina Reapers. That's one of the most difficult ingredients to work with. Blunting the spice means using very little of it, and even a tiny drop of it would be considered inedibly hot to a majority of people.
It's no surprise Ledas and Tabashi couldn't eat more than a single Carolina Reaper, especially at their age. It's a wonder they didn't throw up, all things considered. They had already eaten seven habaneros apiece, which most people cannot do (I'm sure they're suffering badly). Despite both giving up, I have tremendous respect for them. They did more than I could have, than pretty much anyone could have. They have nothing to be ashamed of.
Chiaki eats two Reapers to impress Chiwan. He already saw how she praised Tabashi and Ledas. He wants to earn her respect, no matter the cost. If we think back to the previous chapter, he struggled with jalapeños. The escalation between those and Reapers is like a Frieza solder trying to fight Fourth Form frieza at like 10% strength. It's an ungodly escalation. He exhibits his love in this moment, for better or for worse, willingly sacrificing himself to appease Chiwan. He knows it's going to hurt and does it anyway. Classy move from Chiaki. Mad respect, bro.
It seems to have worked. Chiwan's respect for Chiaki went up after he won the spice-off, although she's not the kind of girl to tell him.
Tabashi proves to be the bigger man (in more ways than one) by offering to shake hands with Ledas. Of course we had to have a brief moment of comedic awkwardness as Ledas doesn't know what that gesture means, but more importantly, this shows Tabashi's willing to admit he was wrong about the boy, about labeling all Saiyans as the same. He's worked through a lot in this moment. Were West City Saga ever written in prose form, it'd be best to write this scene from Tabashi's perspective. I'd love to get into the psychology of his decision. It's such an unexpectedly mature move. This moves Tabashi up the rankings, it must be said. He's a good man.
The detention the boys received in the fifth scene is unconscionable. Ms. Mahobi is well and truly out of line. She's going to pay for abusing her power.
"I don’t care if the school technically has the legal right to give me detention, it’s fucked up and shouldn’t be allowed. They aren’t my parents. It’s not their place to discipline me after school hours. That’s not their time. They have no right." - I completely agree with this, but I'll save my thoughts for chapter 11. One small thing to note is that I was given 2 detentions from 6-10th grade (I didn't do 11th or 12th grade, went straight into college at that point instead), so I have some experience here. Without spoiling my ch11 endnotes thoughts, I'll say, it's immoral that society deems it correct that teachers can hold students after class for any reason whatsoever. Chiaki correctly points out that it's not their time. Suspend the kids if they did fucked up shit. Expulsion is around the corner. Detention on the other hand is a tool that should not be granted to teachers. It's a power they do not deserve.
Chiaki's right. Mahobi's going to get fucked up. In my original outline, they hated Kairyupin the most. They've actually come around on her, thinking she's alright. Mahobi's lying in the mud now. She's target #1. The kids will spare no expense going after her from this point forward, and this comes primarily from my own morality, as one would expect considering I'm the author. This is an issue I am very passionate about. I pull no punches with the Mahobi plotline going forward.
I love how Ryori and Chiaki tell Tabashi how things really work. Tabashi's such a noob when it comes to breaking the rules. He's gotta realize people do a lot worse shit than he has and don't suffer any consequences. Why not join them?
Bulma installing the rejuvenation tank on Ledas' ship is the climax of her plotline in the saga.
Bulma and Jia are good friends, evidenced by the way they talk in the sixth scene. I imagine they hang out every now and then.
Without the CLEAN-BOTs, Jia would've gone mad having to clean the bathrooms every week or so.
Bulma and Jia bonding over the terror Saiyan boys wreak upon their houses is wholesome. I imagine it's a lot easier for Bulma, though, with her servants and bots.
The boys were obviously not studying. They were over one of the other seventh-graders' houses (probably Hachi and Chiwan's) hanging out, chilling, likely playing video games.
"He’s a highly driven individual. You’ll think of me as just awful, but most of the time, I don’t understand how to handle him. I don’t feel I’ve been doing a good job. He’s not that different, but he is. I’m always cooking. You’ll have to come up with a bot to deal with that someday. I didn’t sign up to be a chef. And all the training. Training day in, day out, sometimes to the wee hours in the morning. For what? What’s he hoping to accomplish?" - it took many drafts to get this dialogue to where I wanted it to be. I don't know. It's just hard to express emotions sometimes. She doesn't really understand Ledas' Saiyan nature. He's sort of like a human, but isn't at the same time. It's a quandary to be sure. Were I in Jia's shoes, I'd feel similarly.
"And I’d say sparring and defending the world from alien threats is preferable to conquering planets and selling them on the galactic market, but that’s just me." - this is a key point, one Jia takes to heart from this moment onward. Ledas, Vegeta, and Goku train to become the best versions of themselves. Protecting the world is a bonus, but it is not what drives them. The half-Saiyans consider that a more important motivator.
Jia is correct in her assessment of Ledas. He's not the smartest kid. A little too laid-back for his own good sometimes. That's one of his big personality flaws. But he's also not smart enough to overcome that easily. He needs to put in the work to achieve results.
It's true that Saiyans are stubborn to a fault, particularly Ledas who still possesses a teenager's mind. He's much more difficult to deal with than Trunks but probably a little less than Vegeta. Who knows, these things are difficult to analyze tangibly.
Jia and Bulma's budding friendship makes me so happy. Love that this is a thing. Bulma's awesome (as frustrating as she can be sometimes). Her friendship with Jia will pay dividends in the future in some way (I don't know how yet). Gotta happen somehow. There's gotta be some greater purpose to this, right?
The final scene is set up like a mouse trap. I'll not lie that Gus' defense against Lalo in Better Call Saul didn't influence me. My version is not nearly as complex, but the influence is there regardless.
Jia most definitely texted Oscalpano about Ledas' location. There's no way he knew Ledas was in the gravity training unit without her saying so. So she knew what was coming, knew she was going to have to kill him. Ruthlessly loving of her. She's trying to protect the boys more than anything. Knowing Cardinal's a vegetable, her next task has to be getting rid of Oscalpano. She can move against the NRRA more openly than before. She's showing her true loyalty and love in the seventh scene.
Oscalpano knowing the password is again indicative of Jia telling him how to enter. I didn't outright say she did this, but it's obvious given the context.
Oscalpano's death achieves tons for Jia. Now she can sleep at night, knowing Nhobusa won't pursue Ledas for years to come, at least. Plus, it shows how damaging the paralyzing agent was. If she had used it against Ryori, the boy would be dead. She no doubt deleted her text messages, confiscated Oscalpano's phone, and did the same for him. He dug his own grave in scene 4. She saw the writing on the wall and exploited the hell out of him. At some point, undoubtedly, she would have reported Oscalpano's death to Nhobusa, noting that she caught him sneaking into the home, trying to stick Ledas with a needle, but the sleepwalking boy blasted him into Other World. And that's that. Nhobusa has no reason to doubt her. Now the threat is gone, at least while Nhobusa remains. Whatever he's planning will take years to bring into fruition. Oscal betrayed the New Red Ribbon Army by being so impatient. It was a trait he picked up from Cardinal, though, so his end thrums with irony.
Given that Jia has so many camera angles of the house, it's a given that she's seen Ledas and Ryori engage in copulation. She knows they're not just messing around but are an actual couple.
Don't know how many times I can say this, but again, I love this chapter. A lot went into this one, particularly the build up to Usuba's demise. Ses and Ame having to go out was tragic, hurts me deep, but was a necessary move that I'm proud I had the strength to make. Seeing calm, furious Ledas was a new thing, a welcome change. The third scene to me is all about that note and the conversation afterwards. Excellent character development there. Normalizing the homosexual relationship, having Chiaki and Azashi be okay with it, made this a story I not only wanted to write, but read. Cardinal's situation was somewhat unexpected, changed a lot during the editing phase. I really liked Nhobusa here. He commanded a presence. Oscalpano's meltdown was a long time coming. Enjoyed his end. The spice-off was also a great scene. The twist with Chiaki winning it instead of one of the two contestants, was a great move. Overall, I gotta say this chapter, from scene 1 to scene 7, was extremely consistent in terms of quality. I love it.

11. Unleash the Twins

<10.54 A.M.>

Old lady: Look at them hooligans go. Demonspawn. Lord have mercy. I told y’all I wasn’t crazy. They’re gremlins. Messed up my lawn the other day. Remember? I showed you. They’re monstrous rapscallions, a scourge upon the land. The city ain’t doin’ shit to get rid of ‘em. span style="color:#4d4dff"> <THE SAIBAMEN IGNORE HER, RUSHING AT EACH OTHER; WILDE TAKES TO THE AIR WITH A SOMERSAULT; CARAWA PURSUES, REACHING FOR HIS LEGS; WILDE PARRIES WITH KICKS WHILE CREATING AN ENERGY BEAM BETWEEN HIS CLAWS, WHICH HE RELEASES UPON CARAWA BEFORE HE CAN RAISE HIS BLOCK; CARAWA SAILS INTO THE BUSHES>

<1:07 P.M.>

<1:34 P.M.>

<MS. MAHOBI, JIA, AND LEDAS ARE SEATED IN HER OFFICE; MS. MAHOBI CHEWS ON THE TIP OF HER PEN, LOOKING FROM LEDAS TO JIA>

Ms. Mahobi: I’m not going to lie. Ledas has been disruptive multiple times during class after being expressly told to stop. He has two detention dates scheduled at this point—one on Friday, and another on Saturday. If this happens again, he’ll be suspended and risk not completing the seventh grade.

Jia: As far as I’m concerned, the first detention was illegitimate. The second as well. You’ve already targeted Ledas by falsely accusing him of dyeing his natural hair. You’re lucky I didn’t go to the superintendent over that. I could have you fired.

Ms. Mahobi: Please, don’t pull that crap. His hair was black on the first day of school. Any other teacher would do the same. I admit we were wrong about his hair, but our intentions were honest.

Ledas: Honestly trying to enforce a terrible policy makes you a bad person. Don’t try to play it off. You harassed me.

Ms. Mahobi: Excuse me, Ledas, that was very rude. Miss Jia, please, you can see his disobedient nature with your own eyes. Say something.

Jia: <NOT BUDGING> He isn’t wrong. If you continue to harass my boy, we’ll take this to the superintendent. If you think I’m bluffing, just try me, because I would love to prove you wrong.

Ms. Mahobi: Listen lady, don’t threaten me.

Jia: If you continue to bully Ledas, I’ll have no choice but to take you to court. This is a one-party consent city. We’ve already collected voice recordings of your misdeeds, Mahobi. Furthermore, <SHE FLASHES HER SAARO BADGE> as a government employee, you can expect I’ll use the king’s best lawyers paid for by the royal treasury. Who’s paying for your defense if this goes to trial? Want to go public defender? I’ll bleed you dry.

Ms. Mahobi: Ledas misbehaved when I gave a lecture on the Saiyan Invasion last week. He made many inappropriate comments, treating the somber historical event as a joke. Detention was warranted. You have no leg to stand on.

Ledas: Reprimand me, fine. But to give me detention, to hold me against my will—that’s disgusting. Detention is immoral. You should not be able to do that. My time is not your luxury to play with. Holding me against my will makes you a terrible person. You don’t have the right to my time after school’s over. You’re not my mom. That’s the problem. Teachers have a warped sense of entitlement, thinking they own students. You’re a government employee. You don’t get to parent me. It’s way over the line.

Ms. Mahobi: <FLINGING HER HANDS IN THE AIR, SPINNING IN HER CHAIR> I mean, right there. Be honest with me. Shouldn’t he be suspended for saying that? This boy is as disobedient as they get.

Jia: <NARROWING HER EYES> Why don’t you focus on teaching the subject matter and stop getting caught up in emotional bullshit? I wasn’t kidding with what I said before. I’m willing to go toe-to-toe with you in the courtroom. Do you want to dance? I’ll take this as far as it goes.

Ms. Mahobi: This is…I can see where he’s gotten it from. It makes sense, actually. Both of you need to learn a lesson or two in civility.

Ledas: <FLUSHED WITH FURY> Even though in this society, it’s seen as okay for teachers to act as quasi-parents for their students, that doesn’t make it less evil. You’re just rotten for that. The fact that you believe detention is acceptable speaks to your lack of character. Anyone with your morals is not someone to learn from. Your method should be forgotten to time. It’s garbage.

Ms. Mahobi: And yet, that’s the law. I can give you detention if you earn it, and you did, twice.

Ledas: Doesn’t make it right, doesn’t make you a good person. I don’t care.

Ms. Mahobi: It doesn’t matter if you see me as a good person. You have to listen to me and obey the rules or you cannot continue in the class. Simple as that.

Ledas: I don’t disagree with that, but you gave me two undeserved detentions.

Jia: Will you reverse those decisions, Ms. Mahobi?

Ms. Mahobi: <SCOFFING> Not a chance.

Jia: <RISING TO HER FEET> This meeting is over. Ledas, remain respectful of your teacher within the classroom. Don’t act out again. And if you try to suspend him, missy, I’m coming for your job.

<2:21 P.M.>

<AZASHI’S HOUSE>

<AZASHI, RYORI, HACHI, CHIWAN, CHIAKI, LEDAS, AND ANRAKU HANG OUT IN THE LIVING ROOM>

<CHIAKI, CHIWAN, AND LEDAS WORK ON MATH HOMEWORK WHILE AZASHI, RYORI, HACHI, AND ANRAKU PLAY A FOUR-PLAYER RACING VIDEO GAME; THEY’RE EATING ASSORTED FANCY SNACKS PREPARED BY AZASHI>

Azashi: That’s easy. Executive chef of my own restaurant. That’s the dream.

Ryori: No way, dude. Nothing beats getting your dick sucked on camera for money.

Anraku: <ROLLING HIS EYES> Is that you talking or the hormones?

Ryori: You have a better one?

Anraku: I don’t know, but being a porno actor would get old fast. Having to perform long sessions every couple days, I’d get bored, not to mention sore. You guys only think it’s glamorous because you’re virgins. It’d ruin real sex for me.

Azashi: Yo, speak for yourself.

Ryori: <IN A MOCK MEXICAN ACCENT> Yeah holmes, you don’t know me. Imma playa.^[28]

Hachi: I think having King Furry’s job would be the best.

Chiwan: <FROM THE TABLE> That’s because you’re an idiot.

Hachi: Shut up, if I was king of the world, I’d—

Chiwan: Never have time for anything fun. You’d have to be out of your mind to take on that responsibility. The stress’d be hard as fuck.

Chiaki: That’s what she said.

Anraku: Oh, oh, oh, tryin’ to blue shell me? Too late, bitches! <HE JUMPS TO HIS FEET AS HE GETS FIRST PLACE ON THE RACE BEFORE THE BLUE SHELL HITS, VERY MUCH CAUSING HIS YOUNGER BROTHER TO STEAM AND SEETHE; HE DOES A LITTLE DANCE IN FRONT OF AZASHI, SWINGING HIS HIPS> As it should be, as it always will be, as it always is. I’m the best.

Azashi: Enough already, dude. You’re older than us. It’s no wonder why you won.

Anraku: And you’re predictably fodder. Get good, bro.

Ledas: I can’t do it. These things taste like the oceans, and this planet’s oceans taste terrible. You eat the brains, eyes, and everything? Eugh. I can’t do it. That’s barbaric.

Azashi: They taste great, trust me. Don’t think about it. Just try it.

Ledas: I tried a piece of the tail, but I’m no savage. I don’t eat eyes. No offense, but I don’t care if it tastes amazing. It’s an eye. I wouldn’t be able to keep it down. Not worth it.

Ryori: <SNORTING> If it tastes good, what do you care?

Ledas: Eyes and brains are too much. Way, way too much. If you’re into that, cool, but for me, that’s disgusting. I wanna barf. The fact you’re indifferent to it boggles my mind. I would be traumatized if I had to eat that.

Chiaki: Hey, I’m with ya, dude. Seafood’s beyond gross. Even lobster tastes like crap and people claim that’s the finest of all fancy meats. It’s literally a sea bug they used to feed to prisoners. Propaganda altered everyone’s perceptions. Still tastes like low-grade bug meat no matter what anyone tells me. I don’t get how they eat the heads either. Some people will eat anything.

Ledas: A most unappealing trait.

Azashi: Mr. Judgmental’s in the house. You don’t have a refined palate. You’re ignorant about flavor. Shrimp’s amazing.

Ledas: Eat that crap up, I don’t care. Can’t make me join in. I’ll have something better instead. Don’t mind me.

Azashi: <SIDE-EYEING HIM> Duly noted.

Hachi: You almost done?

Chiwan: Gunning to leave so soon? Are you getting beat that bad?

Hachi: I thought we were going to the skate park later. There’s not much time if we want to make it before dinner.

Chiwan: I have to get my geometry homework done, Chi. It’s due tomorrow. We’ll go Saturday.

Chiaki: After eleven though. Tabashi, Ledas, and I have detention until then.

Hachi: <GIVING CHIAKI THE CROOK EYE> Who said you’re invited?

Chiwan: Calm down, you know they’re always invited. What’s the big deal?

Anraku: <WITH A WRY SMILE> How’d you land detention?

Chiaki: Well, we had a Carolina Reaper challenge during lunch on Monday.

Anraku: Shit, dude. You didn’t know what you were getting yourselves into. Reapers are no joke.

Chiaki: You don’t have to convince me. I’m never eating one of those again. She thought we were disrupting the class because our eyes and noses were running.

Ledas: She thought we were fake-crying during that stupid documentary she made us watch.

Anraku: Sounds like a real hard-ass.

Ryori: <LEANING OVER TO SHOW ANRAKU MS. MAHOBI’S PICTURE ON HIS PHONE, AS THEY ARE THE ONLY TWO REMAINING ON THE COUCH, AS AZASHI HAS LEFT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM> This is her: Ms. Mahobi.

Chiaki: <INTERJECTING> The bitch Mahobi.

Ryori: Yep. Bitch Mahobi.

Anraku: <CHUCKLING> Don’t let her hear you call her that, holy shit. You know, it’s interesting. She looks familiar. I’m sure she’s a regular at the Guac.

Ryori: You’re kidding. <HE EXCHANGES A LOOK WITH LEDAS, WHO GRINS DEVIOUSLY> Does she go there every night?

Anraku: Eh, I don’t know. I work Tuesdays to Saturdays. I swear I’ve seen her before. I think she comes in once or twice a week. Maybe more, maybe less. Probably varies by the week. I don’t know, never paid her much attention.

Ryori: Does she go there on school nights?

Anraku: Why? Planning on messing with her?

Ryori: What if you get her so plastered that when she shows up to school the next day, she’s still drunk? That’d be hilarious.

Azashi: No way, he can’t do that. He could get fired.

Anraku: Nothing’s stopping me from recommending a drink or three to a patron. More importantly, why should I bother? What’s in it for me?

Ryori: How about a ride in Ledas’ spaceship?

Anraku: <FLIPPANTLY> A spaceship, yeah right. Do you think I’m stupid?

Azashi: To be fair, he’s not lying. The ship’s a Capsule Corp. model. We took a ride on it last week. Look.

Anraku: That could be anything. It’s super fuzzy. Could be a green screen, or a digitally manipula—

Ryori: If we’re lying and there’s no spaceship, you can have Ƶ250,000. I promise.

Anraku: Like a kid your age has that kind of money. Your lies are getting weaker by the second.

Chiaki: They’re good for it. I watched Ledas win Ƶ3,000,000 the other day after he beat up this old martial arts pretender. They’ve gotta be loaded.

Ledas: True story.

Anraku: Alright, alright, if you’re good for it, I’m in. Don’t flake on me. I’m bringing a plus-one on the trip, so have two seats ready.

Ryori: Not a problem.

Anraku: <FIST BUMPING RYORI> Pleasure doing business.

Ryori: <FIST BUMPING BACK> Get that bitch good. Oh, and by the way, Hachi and Chiwan’s older brother’s using it on the nineteenth, so your turn will be after his.

<11:13 P.M.>

Ms. Mahobi: <SLURRING HER SPEECH> Really, I’ve just hoped to unwind. I’m teaching a truant seventh-grade class. They’re a pain in my ass. One kid in particular’s a passive-aggressive instigator. His mother’s a c*nt too. She flipped out on me when I gave him a couple of detentions. They were deserved! Fuck. <SHE SLAMS ANOTHER CLEAR SHOT (PROBABLY VODKA, BUT THIS IS MERE SPECULATION), THEN TAKES A LONG SIP FROM THE STRAW OF A DARK SODA DRINK> Next year, I need older kids, because I can’t handle this bullshit. They’re the exact type I feared being stuck with when I became a teacher.

Anraku: That’s tough. I couldn’t put up with brats at that age. Your patience is admirable.

Ms. Mahobi: You don’t even know. <SHE LAUGHS, REACHING OVER AND TOUCHING HIM ON THE ARM> The lot of them are foul-mouthed, disrespectful punks. I guarantee they won’t amount to anything when they’re older.

Anraku: Forget about them. <HE POURS HER ANOTHER SHOT, WHICH SHE GLADLY ACCEPTS; WITH A SMILE> That jacket looks great on you. Is it a Sujikamaboko^[30]?

Ms. Mahobi: <SLOWLY ROCKING BACK AND FORTH; HER SMILE IS FLIRTATIOUS> My my, Mr. Bartender—

Anraku: Please, call me Anraku.

Ms. Mahobi: <SLURRING HIS NAME BADLY> Anraku, you know your designers.

Anraku: We get many upscale patrons at the Guac.

Ms. Mahobi: Upscale? <LOOKING DOWN AT HER OUTFIT> You wouldn’t think so on my salary. I’ll tell you, sometimes, I don’t think it’s worth putting up with ungrateful kids. Who cares if they learn or fail if they’re no good to begin with? What’s the point?

Anraku: Don’t let them rule your life. You have to have ‘me time’. Don’t think about them while you’re not working. Fuck ‘em. Focus on yourself. Otherwise, you’ll become depressed. Trust me, they’re not worth the headache.

Ms. Mahobi: <SNORTING> I’ll drink to that any day.

<UP-CLOSE SHOT OF SEVERAL PEOPLE, ONE AFTER ANOTHER, DRUNKENLY SINGING KARAOKE, THOUGH THEIR SONGS ARE NOT HEARD AS IT CUTS FROM ONE TO THE NEXT; WHEN IT’S MS. MAHOBI’S TURN, THE CAMERA SHIFTS TO AN OVER-THE-SHOULDER SHOT OF ANRAKU TAKING OUT HIS PHONE TO RECORD THE PERFORMANCE>

Ms. Mahobi: <EXTREMELY DRUNKELY; SHE IS HALFWAY IN TUNE> The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun and… <SHE LEANS FORWARD OFF THE MIC, PULLING DOWN HER SHIRT; HER BREASTS POP OUT; SHE CUPS THEM, SHAKING THEM FOR THE CROWD OF MOSTLY MEN WHO ARE HOOTIN’ AND HOLLERIN’, BANGING THE TABLES; SEVERAL PEOPLE LOOK AWAY IN EMBARASSMENT OR MAKE FACES, BUT MOST OF THE BAR IS WITH HER; HER VOICE IS RASPIER AND LESS IN TUNE THAN BEFORE> oh-oh-oh!

<10:02 A.M.>

Ms. Kairyupin: Ms. Mahobi has informed me that she’s unfortunately feeling under the weather today, so I’ll be guiding you through today’s history lesson. She had planned a fun one for you. <MS. KAIRYUPIN TURNS ON THE CLASS TELEVISION AND DIMS THE LIGHTS> A documentary about Mr. Satan’s legendary fight versus the monster Cell by Jimmy Firecracker: ‘Hail Satan: World Hero or World’s Biggest Fraud?’. A former reporter from ZTV who worked with Mr. Satan during the Cell conflict, Mr. Firecracker claims Hercule is not who he appears to be. <QUICK CUT TO RYORI MAKING A DISGUSTED LOOK; CUTS BACK TO MS. KAIRYUPIN> Let’s judge those claims for ourselves. Take notes. We’re going fast-forward through certain parts. You’ll submit a three-page double-spaced response to the video on Monday. Everyone understand?

<11:37 A.M.>

Jehovah’s Witness #1: We’re Jehovah’s Witnesses, and we’d like to—ah! What is that thing? I-is it a robot?

Jehovah’s Witness #1: <VOICE RISING HIGHER AND BECOMING MORE OUTRAGED WITH EVERY WORD> Beware, apostates inside. Disfellowshipped individuals mind-controlled by Satan himself lurk within. We are hardcore sinners, fornicators, and sodomizers, the most heinous of people. There’s no saving us. Beware.

<11:01 A.M.>

<MS. MAHOBI’S PHONE TIMER GOES OFF; SHE LOOKS DOWN AT IT, TAKING A LAZY APPROACH, STOPPING THE TIMER EVENTUALLY; FIRST-PERSON VIEW OF HER LOOKING UP AT THE BOYS WHO ARE STARING BACK AT HER IN ANTICIPATION; LEDAS’ AFTERIMAGE CONTINUES TO DO ITS THING; SHE RETURNS HER TO SHOPPING>

Ms. Mahobi: <WITHOUT LOOKING AWAY FROM HER COMPUTER; CLICKING ON SOMETHING SHE LIKES> That’s time. You’re free to go. I hope you’ve learned something from this experience, boys. Please be more respectful in the classroom going forward.

<MS. MAHOBI’S VOICE CAN BE HEARD DRUNKENLY SINGING “MAN! I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN” AT THE BAR; MS. MAHOBI LOOKS UP FROM HER COMPUTER, RECOGNIZING HER VOICE IN SILENT HORROR; THE STUDENTS DON’T REACT TO IT UNTIL CHIAKI CLOSES THE DOOR BEHIND HIM; CHIAKI GUFFAWS, WHILE TABASHI AND LEDAS SMIRK; THEY WALK OFF TOGETHER, KEEPING THEIR VOICES FAIRLY LOW, BUT THEY ARE NOT WHISPERING>

Chiaki: <SARCASTICALLY> Has a voice like an angel. She should audition on Idol.

Tabashi: <TAKING OUT HIS PHONE TO PLAY THE VIDEO AGAIN> My favorite part is when she pulls her tits out. Who would’ve thought she had it in her? She’s so trashy, I love it.

Chiaki: I’d give ‘em a squeeze.

Ledas: Eh, they’re kinda big.

Tabashi: What? They’re like Cs at best. They’re perfect.

Ledas: I’d prefer ‘em like half that size.

Tabashi: Dude, you’re weird. They’re great. The bigger the better.

Chiaki: What do you expect? He’s an alien. Maybe their women don’t get implants and shit like here.

Ledas: Good point. I don’t remember seeing many women with big boobs, but then again, I don’t remember too well since my homeworld was destroyed when I was four. I don’t think there’d be many. Big boobs get in the way of fighting, and most Saiyan women were warriors. My mom didn’t have very big ones.

Chiaki: Aha, that’s it. It makes complete sense now.

Ledas: What? Hey, I’m not in love with my mom!

Chiaki: You’re the one who said it.

Sis: <VIA TEXT> were u at a bar a couple nights back singing?

<MS. MAHOBI IS VISIBLY SHAKEN WHEN SHE READS THAT>

Ms. Mahobi: <VIA TEXT> yea why?

Sis: <VIA TEXT> someone recorded u its blowing up on social media

Ms. Mahobi: <UNDER HER BREATH> Shit. Fuck me.

<2:37 P.M.>

<JIA, CHIAKI, RYORI, AND LEDAS ENJOY A DAY AT THE ZOO, WALKING THROUGH THE EXHIBITS; THEY PAUSE AT A MONKEY CAGE; THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND>

Chiaki: Hey, Leeds, look, it’s your brother. <HE POINTS TO A MONKEY HANGING OUT ON A TREE BRANCH NEAR THE VIEWING WINDOW; HE’S PLEASURING HIMSELF HALF-HEARTEDLY, LOOKING AT THE HUMANS WHILE DOING SO> Acts just like ya, too.

Ledas: What’s that supposed to mean?

Ryori: Has more stamina, I think.

Ledas: <EYES NARROWING> Very funny.

Chiaki: Man, that’d be the life. Don’t have to worry about food or water, get to jack it all day, always have people watchin’ the show. These guys are livin’ the dream.

Ryori: In that case, you’d love prison.

Chiaki: <SHOWING RYORI SOMETHING ON HIS PHONE> She thought it was a joke, see?

Ryori: Did you tell her Tabashi sent it and he was drunk when he did it?

Chiaki: Nah, she found it funny. There was no point.

Ryori: If things are good between you, ask her out. What’s your hang-up?

Chiaki: Easier said than done. I don’t think I could handle it if she said no. It’d be mega awkward.

Ryori: Ask Miss Jia for advice. She’s a girl.

Jia: Ahem, I’m a woman, Ryori.

Ryori: Same thing.

Jia: I’m flattered you think I’m a relationship savant, but I’m not. Actually, I’ve never dated before, so I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much help.

Ledas: But why not? You’re a pretty lady.

Jia: That’s very nice, Ledas, but the truth is, I haven’t found the right man yet. That and I can’t have kids, so my dating pool’s smaller than you’d expect.

Ryori: Damn, that’s rough.

Ledas: Well, since Ryori and I are orphans, we’re sorta like your kids, right? Isn’t that why you’re with us?

Jia: Perhaps. I’m grateful you’ve been open to having me live with you. At first, I was worried you wouldn’t like me and we’d be in for a struggle. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.

Ledas: Nah, you’re great. Your cooking’s amazing. It’s great having you around.

Girl bystander #17: Look Mommy, that boy has a tail. I knew it.

Woman bystander #18: It’s just a toy, darling. Boys don’t have tails. I’ve told you before.

Chiaki: My therapist said I should just ask her. Like ripping a band-aid off.

Ryori: Not terrible advice. How else would you land her?

Chiaki: I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I don’t know, it’s scary.

Ryori: Pussy.

Chiaki: Easy for you to say. You’ve never had one either.

Ryori: That’s because I don’t want one. You do. You gotta pursue your dreams, man. You should learn how to skate. That’ll impress her.

Chiaki: Now that’s an idea. Maybe.

Ledas: Oh wow, look at the big orange kitty. He’s striped. How cool. Never seen one like that before.

Chiaki: Tigers are nothing like house cats. He’d eat you alive the first chance he gets.

Ledas: I wanna pet him.

Ryori: No, don’t—

Jia: <SHAKING HER HEAD> Of course.

Chiaki: You dummy. You could’ve gotten yourself killed.

Ledas: Not a chance. That’s a fearsome kitty, but he’s nowhere near a threat to me.

Jia: <TAKING LEDAS BY THE ELBOW AND WALKING OFF WITH HIM; CHIAKI AND RYORI FOLLOW THEM> Come on, we’re leaving before someone recognizes you as the kid who jumped in the pen. I don’t want to have to explain ourselves to security for five hours. Hurry. Let’s go.

Nhobusa: <VIA TEXT> Things have changed. Meet me in two days at the usual place.

<8:17 A.M.>

<ANRAKU’S GIRLFRIEND HAS MADE A RIGHT PROPER MESS OF HERSELF BY THROWING UP ALL OVER THE PLACE; THE LOOKING WINDOW IS OPEN, SHOWING EARTH BELOW>

Theodosius: We’re off to a romantic start. Please exit your chair and proceed down the ladder behind to the lower deck. There is a shower located on the right. You will find towels inside. Please clean yourself and change clothes before returning.

<9:39 P.M.>

Ledas: Theo, return the gravity to normal, please.

Theodosius: As you command, Master Ledas.

Ledas: Damn it, Anraku. Well, those sheets need to be replaced. Theo, initiate a deep clean.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references Ms. Mahobi's breasts and the ultimate troll plan the students concoct to prank her for giving them (in their opinion) undeserved detentions. I had a somewhat difficult time coming up with this name.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 11: Unleash the Twins
  1. scene 1: while sparring, Carawa and Wilde evolve into their blue forms while the neighbor woman watches
  2. scene 2: at school, they are taking an English test; Ryori writes down Ledas' answers and then erases them to write down his own
  3. scene 3: Ledas and Jia attend a parent-teacher conference with Ms. Mahobi, and there is some arguing; nobody backs down from their position, which solidifies Ledas' opinion to go through with ruining Mahobi's career
  4. scene 4: after school, they hang out at Azashi's house and the gang enlists the help of Anraku to get at Ms. Mahobi in the Guac, which she is known to frequent
  5. scene 5: at the Guac, Anraku buys Ms. Mahobi a drink; she gets to talking to him and as the hours and drinks pass, she finds herself wasted at three in the morning on a Thursday night; Anraku records her making a fool of herself, such as flashing other patrons, dancing drunkenly, and singing horrible karaoke
  6. scene 6: the next morning, Ms. Mahobi doesn't show up to school, with Ms. Kairyupin covering for her
  7. scene 7: Wilde answers the door and faces Jehovah's Witnesses, who are freaked out by his appearance
  8. scene 8: after detention, the boys file out, Chiaki commenting on Mahobi's dance moves; now she is aware there is a video of her
  9. scene 9: scene of Anraku and his girlfriend in space while Theo attends to them
  10. scene 10: Ledas finds something Anraku left in the ship
2. The outline is very accurate to what I wrote, with one exception. I wrote a scene (ended up being scene 9) with Ledas, Chiaki, Ryori, and Jia at the zoo during the second draft. This scene was not originally intended and is the final new scene added to the saga. Otherwise, everything written above appeared in the chapter.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 11 are as follows:
1. have Ledas rant about how disgusting eating shrimp is ---> while he's a Saiyan, he's not some barbaric savage who eats the eyes, brain, and the whole animal like that; have Chiaki overhear this
2. 3/5/23: have a later chapter be about Ledas getting detention for giving a report on why he thinks monarchy is bad and the earthlings are stupid for living under it
3. 9/8/23: have a scene where Ledas is called into a parent-teacher conference with Jia to discuss his bad behavior, and he doesn't handle the situation too poorly, but he cracks a bit
4. 9/23/23: Anraku will agree to help scam Ms. Mahobi only if he gets to go on a space ship trip with a "friend" while Ledas mainly stays out of view; Azashi correctly calls this out as a date with his girlfriend in some banter; Ledas agrees, mentioning that there are two rooms on the ship
5. 9/25/23: have Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door and have Carawa answer it, freaking them out; he needs to be blue here
6. 9/27/23: chapters 11, 12, and 13 were outlined on this day
7. 9/27/23: have Chiwan show affection towards Chiaki while everyone's at Azashi's house
8. 9/27/23: name considerations for this chapter: Ms. Mahobi Goes Viral; Now That's My Kind of Teacher; Look at Those Bikini Stuffers Swing!; Unleash The Twins; Teachers Gone Wild; Teachers Gone Viral; the first one was the original placeholder name
9. 9/30/23: Sujikamaboko is the name of the fancy fashion designer brand Ms. Mahobi wears on her jacket; this word means gristly fish paste in Japanese, which is an hilariously disgusting word
10. 9/30/23: have Wilde hand the Jehovah's Witnesses a business card that reads: "Beware! Apostates inside! Disfellowshipped individuals mind-controlled by Satan himself live in this house! We are serious sinners, fornicators and sodomizers, the most heinous of people!"; this is from Owan Morgan's "How To Get Rid Of Jehovah's Witnesses" youtube video
11. 10/1/23: the Jimmy Firecracker documentary is one I'll go into in a one-shot in the 17 collection; this documentary is my own creation; Firecracker canonically only appears in the Cell Games Saga and nowhere else
12. 10/2/23: space scene added this day, but I had been considering it for two days prior
13. 10/2/23: have an additional cut after Anraku returns where Ledas and the Saibamen are training on his ship and after the session, he goes down to the bedroom to get some water out of the fridge and notices a condom wrapper on the floor
14. 10/2/23: have Chiwan show Ledas a funny meme on her phone during the fourth scene
15. 10/3/23: the song used in scene 4 is Shania Twain "Man! I Feel Like A Woman"
My notes for the second draft of chapter 11 are as follows:
1. 10/24/23: in the second draft, have Jia bring up in her confrontation with Mahobi in ch11 how Mahobi and the other teachers had already harassed Ledas over his hair color
2. 11/9/23: have a scene where Ippi and the others want to film Ledas' feats, but he refuses, a subversion of the toxic trope that men only want to do macho things to impress others, whereas Ledas merely wants to exist and not be bothered
3. 1/6/24: in the detention scene, have the stuff Mahobi is looking at on her computer be expensive clothes/purses
4. 11/7/23: in the final scene of chapter 11, have Ledas order Theo to initiate a deep clean of the ship after finding the condom wrapper
5. 1/6/24: add a scene on June 20 before the final Ledas training scene of Ledas, Ryori, and Jia hanging out and really having a good time playing some type of game; at some point in the scene, but not at its end, she receives a message from Nhobusa that things have changed and she'll need to meet him at the hospital on the 21st (same day as the current ch12 scene with her and Nhobusa takes place); Ryori asks Jia during this scene how she got into her role and why she doesn't have kids, leading to Jia revealing that she cannot have children
6. 1/6/24: this chapter is really good already, requiring minimal updating beyond general polish and more precision in the parent-teacher meeting scene
7. 5/16/24: ideas for the new scene with Jia/Ledas/Ryori/Chiaki: going to the zoo; playing a board game at home; on the beach; at a mongolian restaurant; after a few hours of thinking, I went with the zoo idea
I began writing the first draft on September 27, 2023, the same day I finished chapter 10's first draft. The scenes were written in the following order: 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 6, 8, 9, 10, 4. I don't remember why the fourth scene (the one at Azashi's house) took so long to write, or why I had issues with it. Maybe I'll remember when I reread it. I finished the first draft on October 6^th. Overall, the writing went well for the first draft. Only the fourth scene took a while to get through. I began editing on May 14, 2024. The zoo scene was added in after the second draft. It was third-drafted with the rest of the chapter. I finished the chapter on May 17^th and put it on the wiki shortly afterward. Didn't have many problems with this one. It was one of the smoothest writing experiences in the saga.
The backyard at Ryori and Ledas' house has taken a bigger beating than anyone in this saga. The landscapers who have to come every weekend or so must think something very odd is going on. If only the old woman had talked to them, maybe her campaign against the Saibamen would've had legs.
The old lady isn't completely out of line considering the Kiseibachi messed up her lawn four days prior. The Saibamen spar recklessly. Honestly, they should only spar in the gravity training unit. It'd be better for everyone and would remove a lot of ammo the old woman has against them. Plus, Jia wouldn't have to waste so much money on new lawns every week.
Ses and Ame's deaths influenced Carawa and Wilde to train harder. They know now that humans are capable of producing robots that can kill them and they don't want to be caught in a bad spot again, especially as Ledas relies on them to watch over the house, Ryori, and Jia whenever he's gone. Moving forward, they take their training more seriously and gain lots of power much quicker than before. During the next few sagas of HOTD, I will likely have them evolve again (the next form is purple). I don't know if I'll ever have them evolve beyond that. The power level requirements start to get ridiculous at purple and beyond, so maybe orange would be the final form. I don't know. We'll see how things play out. Not entirely sure how deeply they'll be involved in the story.
Eight puffs in a row is extreme. I just did that too to test out how brutal it is. Not super easy and doesn't make me feel too good. I only ever puff that much when it's my last puffs of the day before going into work or going to bed. I wonder what her nicotine mg is because if it's anything above 6, that's hardcore. She must be seriously addicted either way.
It would've been out of character for the old woman to drop her vape pen. It's her most precious possession, after all.
Wilde is slightly stronger than Carawa, which is why he transformed first, but the difference in their power levels is only a few hundred at most (at this stage). I imagine as they grow stronger, the gap will remain about the same as it is now, though Carawa may be able to close it somewhat.
The blue transformation was a long time coming. Honestly, I was conservative with the Saibamen's power levels. They probably could've achieved this form in The Forgotten without any complaints from the audience. Given that there were blue Saibamen in the Planet Trade Organization (although they were exceedingly rare), it wouldn't have been unheard of to have them transform sooner. Going forward, they'll gain power faster now that they have a drive to train, and this allow them to take part on bounty hunting missions. This is a key moment, allowing me to bring them into the Starchasers, for if they had remained red, it would've been too risky to take them into space. I'd fear for their lives. Even in blue, they'll be the frailest members by far. I have no plans currently for Wilde or Carawa to die, but you never know. The opportunity could present itself sometime in the future.
Ryori shows just how tedious helping Ledas cheats is in the second scene. That must suck. The hardest part would be to write the answers in a way that sounds like Ledas would answer before answering them himself. Ryori has to be pretty good at the subjects to be able to do this. His academic excellence is an underrated aspect of this saga.
I'm surprised Ryori didn't know Jia was meeting with Ms. Mahobi. Dunno why she or Ledas didn't tell him about it. Maybe they did and he forgot. Maybe they thought it wasn't a big deal. I have no idea.
As I said in the chapter 9 endnotes, I dislike people who chew on pens. Mahobi doing it in the third scene indicates what I think of her in that moment.
Jia's smart to bring up the targeted harassment regarding Ledas' hair. With that said, it's not related to Ledas' disruptions, and Mahobi isn't stupid enough to fall for it. A valiant effort, nonetheless.
"I admit we were wrong about his hair, but our intentions were honest." - she was following policy, but it's erroneous to say she was acting with honesty. The policy itself is immoral. Following an immoral order doesn't absolve one of ramifications. Kairyupin is a bad person for caring about what color Ledas' hair is. The point of the that storyline in the fourth chapter is that even if Ledas' hair had been dyed, they would be wrong. He just gets to gloat because it isn't. Teachers have no right to enforce how students look. I understand dress codes (to an extent), but hair is personal. It's not their call. It's not appropriate for schools to have policies regarding it. Ledas says this to her face because it's how both of us feel about it. I like his courage in that moment. I don't know if I would be able to say that to my teacher.
"Excuse me, Ledas, that was very rude." - the truth hurts. She may see what he said as rude, but he's correct. Subjectively, of course. But since he's correct, he's not being rude. He's just telling her how it is. Tough shit that she got her feelings hurt. I have no sympathy.
Jia has Ledas' back in the third scene. I'm sure he appreciates that. He respects her so much for standing up to Mahobi. He definitely loves her as a motherly figure (not nearly as much as his own, but still). This is the most critical moment of their bonding in the saga.
It's unknown if the superintendent would take Ledas' side or Mahobi's. In terms of the hair stuff, Jia's lawyers would be able to get the superintendent to side with them, I think. It'd be tough to get Ledas out of trouble for disrupting the class, especially since most of the other students thought he was acting out, too.
"We’ve already collected voice recordings of your misdeeds, Mahobi." - this is almost certainly a bluff. I don't think Mahobi's said anything wrong in class.
Jia flaunting the king's treasury is a good move. Even if she's going to lose the case, she'd be able to financially ruin Mahobi. Is that worth it for the teacher? Surely not, but you never know how stubborn and stupid people can be. Either option is possible. I don't know what Mahobi would do.
"Ledas misbehaved when I gave a lecture on the Saiyan Invasion last week. He made many inappropriate comments, treating the somber historical event as a joke. Detention was warranted. You have no leg to stand on." - Mahobi is correct. Ledas did a bad thing and needs to pay for it. From this point, however, the conversation shifts to the morality of detention rather than if Ledas was wrong to do what he did, because that's a more interesting conversation.
"Reprimand me, fine. But to give me detention, to hold me against my will—that’s disgusting. Detention is immoral. You should not be able to do that. My time is not your luxury to play with. Holding me against my will makes you a terrible person. You don’t have the right to my time after school’s over. You’re not my mom. That’s the problem. Teachers have a warped sense of entitlement, thinking they own students. You’re a government employee. You don’t get to parent me. It’s way over the line." - everything Ledas says here is what I believe. I think if students misbehave, they should be sent home for the day (losing out on in-class work) and possibly suspended additional days, depending on the severity. Detention as a concept is immoral. It's not a teacher's place to take the students' time, especially after school. I don't care what the laws say. After school, a teacher should have no power to do anything to a student. I know they can't actually force students to stay, but they risk suspension or expulsion if they don't go. The stuff about parenting is apt. It's not a teacher's place to parent the students, to lecture them on what is moral and what they should believe politically. Unfortunately, in modern America, many teachers do this, oftentimes preventing parents from knowing about what they're talking about. This was particularly notable during COVID when students were home and the teachers didn't like that the parents could listen in on what they were saying, because oftentimes they were injecting political opinions and trying to teach their subjective views of morality to kids. It's disgusting and it's why I don't have respect for a lot of teachers. Some are good, many are not. The profession must exist, but its ranks are rotten to the core more often than not.
Mahobi wanting to suspend Ledas for sharing his opinion on detentions (after school) is abhorrent, and no doubt if she had done that, Jia would've taken it to the superintendent and gotten the suspension overturned (and Mahobi put on leave if not fired). Mahobi is letting her emotions get the better of her. She's squandering a good position.
"Even though in this society, it’s seen as okay for teachers to act as quasi-parents for their students, that doesn’t make it less evil. You’re just rotten for that. The fact that you believe detention is acceptable speaks to your lack of character. Anyone with your morals is not someone to learn from. Your method should be forgotten to time. It’s garbage." - I'll admit Ledas is definitely rude here, but he doesn't say anything that I don't passionately believe in. He's 100% correct (this is like the meme of Obama giving himself the medal). His fury is justice-based. Detention is injustice. Holding people after school (not the teachers' time) is immoral. Again, I don't care whether they can legally do it or not. I'm talking about what's right and wrong, not what's legal.
Mahobi does regain the upper hand at the end of the third scene, it must be said, after she acts mature again. Ledas doesn't have a leg to stand on, as I've said. He earned those detentions. There's no chance she'd rescind them after the way he talked to her.
"Ledas, remain respectful of your teacher within the classroom." - I love the way she phrased this, implying that Ledas doesn't have to respect his teachers outside of the classroom. Jia's one of the good ones, man. She's so fun to write for. Her evolving morality was the most rewarding part of her character arc for me to write.
Ryori shows his loyalty by waiting for Ledas and Jia. Good, subtle friend moment there. You could also say it was a tad romantic. He's showing how much he cares about his boyfriend. He won't leave him behind.
Ledas and the others are working on math homework together because if they had been doing any other kind of homework, the kids would've realized Ledas cheats in class. He can do the math without cheating for the most part, only needing help on word problems and with some rare words mentioned in simpler questions.
The question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" is useful for characterizing everyone. It's not like most of them come up with good or realistic answers, it's more about what their choices say about them. Azashi is the exception. He will of course become a chef when he grows up. That's super obvious. He loves cooking. He'll always be in that business. The only question is if he'll ever become successful enough to own his own restaurant. I'm not sure, but if I had to bet, I'd say yes because the alternative is depressing. Ryori wants to be a porn star, which is incredibly stupid. None of them (except Ledas) know he's specifying gay porn, by the way. Anraku destroys him with his rebuttal (he's 100% correct about Ryori only saying that because he's a horny kid going through puberty). Being a pornstar would suck. It'd take all the fun out of sex. I may be biased being mostly demisexual. I don't like random hookups. I only want to have sex with someone I love. Romanticism plays a big part in it for me. This is not to say that being a pornstar would be terrible for everyone. Tons of people would and do enjoy it. Also, Ledas would not approve of Ryori taking that line of work. That'd be the end of their relationship. He can get his dick sucked back home or there won't be a home to go back to.
Azashi is a virgin. He says what he says to mask his embarrassment about the topic. That's not to say he should be embarrassed. He's never had a girlfriend, and at 13, that's not a big deal. He doesn't need to prove himself sexually at that age.
As mentioned in endnote 28, Ryori is also lying about not being a virgin. He is, although his case is more complex. He's dating Ledas and the two are sexually active together, but they haven't had sex. Bill Clinton would look at their relationship and say they're virgins. Others might not. Personally, I agree that oral sex is not sex in the sense that it removes the virgin tag, but it's still sexual activity. In any case, it's likely this conversation that spurs Ryori to convince Ledas to have sex with him in the sixth deleted scene. Won't be too specific about the details, but the bottom (!) line is that Ryori doesn't end this chapter as a virgin. Anraku didn't know what he set in motion with his dialogue.
Ledas doesn't get the meme for two reasons: context matters most in regards to memes, and he doesn't understand Earth cultures very well; he probably can't read or entirely understand the text. In any case, this shows how despite trying to integrate in with his friends, Ledas is still very much an outsider. This moment also contrasts with Ryori's conversation with Anraku, showing that Ledas isn't as horny as Ryori, isn't thinking about sex 24/7.
Chiwan isn't wrong. Being king of the world would suck. Hachi's unworldly and naive. That's a perfect mix to make him a successful king, totes. He's also so passive, he let Chiwan interrupt him when he tried to explain how he'd be a great king. In that moment, he proved he'd be a disaster at the job. I don't know what Hachi would be good at, but leadership roles are not for him.
Chiaki making Chiwan laugh is a reversal of fortunes from his attempt in chapter 9. She's warming up to him, or perhaps already has. I don't specify when they start dating. This is a clue that they may already have. I'm not going to confirm it one way or another. If I were a betting man though, I'd say they had a serious talk after riding those waves together in the third chapter 12 scene.
Hachi glares at Chiaki because he knows what Chiaki is trying to do. He admitted it in chapter 4. Hachi and Hizara are similar in that they don't want Chiwan to date anyone they don't approve of. It's controlling and quite frankly sexist to think they should have a say in Chiwan's personal life. I suppose it comes from an honest place, but just because it's honest doesn't mean it isn't toxic. Hachi needs to let Chiwan make her own choices and to live his own life. He needs to find a girlfriend rather than stressing about his sister's love life. Perhaps he's stressing so much because he's jealous and doesn't think himself capable of landing a girl.
Anraku's banter with Azashi about the video game is similar to how my older brother and I would go at each other when playing together, only the positions were oftentimes reversed. Depended on the game, to be fair. I used to let him win at Halo 3. Meant a lot to him, because years later, he still brought up those games. He never had any idea, either. With that said, Anraku doesn't use that approach at all, which is equally fair and far more humorous.
"Don’t think about it. Just try it." - not possible. I have a lot of hang-ups with meat. I can only eat certain parts of meat. Never the eyes, brains, or pretty much any of the organs. Hell, I hate the red dots on lunchmeat and always tediously remove them. I don't understand how most people don't mind, don't even think about it. Seafood is the worst. All seafood is riddled with parasites. You can't eat fresh fish (I mean, you can, but you'd be an idiot to). Even sushi is flash-frozen to kill the parasites. The main thing I don't understand about seafood is that it just tastes awful. It tastes of the sea, as Ledas puts it. He's not wrong. Fair play to those who like seafood. I just can't. Especially with shellfish. Eating oysters alive, eating their entire bodies, all the shit inside them, yeah that's great. Shrimp are bugs. I wouldn't eat land bugs, why should I eat bugs of the sea? Lobster is the most overrated meat ever. It's not as bad as other seafood, I'll grant that. It's one of the few that I've been able to marginally tolerate. But it's still so inferior to land meats. My palate just doesn't get it. And yeah, eating shrimp heads is just nasty. It's barbaric. If you like it, good for you, but I can't stomach that shit.
"If it tastes good, what do you care?" - I'm not going to eat eyes and brains and bones and shit like that. It's why I don't like McDonald's.
"Eyes and brains are too much. Way, way too much. If you’re into that, cool, but for me, that’s disgusting. I wanna barf. The fact you’re indifferent to it boggles my mind. I would be traumatized if I had to eat that." - why did Ledas say this? It's exactly what I feel! It's almost like he can read my mind or something…
Chiaki isn't wrong about lobster. I'll say though, I don't hate lobster. It's one of the more tolerable seafoods out there. But it's still bug meat and it still tastes like the ocean, and when you shit it out, your shit smells like the ocean (on top of smelling like shit of course). Like, there's just something there in my gut bacteria that hates it. It's so unnatural. I don't know. If you like it, again, fair play, but you have to recognize that just cuz you like something, not everyone will, and that doesn't mean either person is "right". There's very little objectivity when it comes to taste.
"Mr. Judgmental’s in the house. You don’t have a refined palate. You’re ignorant about flavor. Shrimp’s amazing." - this is a fair point, because taste being subjective goes both ways. He's being elitist about it, though.
Without a doubt, Azashi lost respect for Ledas after he admitted to not liking shrimp. I'm sure that made Ledas bawl into his panties.
Emiliano Martinez is one of my favorites. Easily my favorite goalkeeper right now and probably the third-most important Argentine in their World Cup campaign. His save at the end of extra time in the final was the stuff of legends. He earned that trophy pose.
Azashi shows how much he cares by his sulking attitude. He wants nothing more than to beat his brother at whatever video game they're playing. Maybe some day. Certainly, it won't be for a while.
I do feel for Hachi. He feels like he's getting pushed out, being left behind by Chiwan. They've always hung out. Now, she's starting to make her own way in life, making choices that don't involve him. She's his best friend. He's probably her best friend, but that's not a certainty. Their relationship is going through a turbulent time because of Chiwan's independent nature and her clear connection with Chiaki. Hachi's going to need to realize what healthy boundaries are. He can still be best friends with his twin without suffocating her, without trying to control her. He has a lot of growing up to do. Still, it's tough to tell that to a thirteen-year-old. He's immature. Not the easiest lesson to learn.
I have to say, Anraku's integration into the conversation about Ms. Mahobi isn't the most seamless thing I've ever written.
Bitch Mahobi is the name they remember her by forever. She never lives that down.
Anraku recognizing Ms. Mahobi isn't out of the realm of possibility. Given where he works, he sees a lot of faces every day. In my line of work, I see anywhere from 2-20,000 faces per day. I won't remember 99.9% of them, but you can bet I remember multiple repeat customers. The ones who keep coming back who have distinctive features are very noticeable. I am not great with faces and even I can recognize the people who keep coming back day after day, or the ones who look a bit different but come three days in a row. Anraku surely has better facial recall than me and works in a small establishment. Recognizing Mahobi is not unrealistic.
Ryori's prank idea is golden. It's this type of thinking that endears Ledas to him.
I like how Anraku wasn't against getting her drunk despite Azashi's reservations. He knows it can't be blamed on him. He's worked in a bar long enough to know how to game the system.
Anraku isn't wrong to think Ryori's lying about having a spaceship. This is that one-in-a-trillion scenario. He approached this as any normal older brother would when dealing with his little brother's shit-talking friends. I have to say, I had a lot of fun writing for him here, as his perspective was easy to get into.
AI ruins everything. Ten years ago, Ippi's videos would've been too hard/expensive to fake.
I like how Ryori gets to the bottom of things quickly, offering money in case they're lying. This is a win-win for Anraku. I believe he realizes something's up at that point. They wouldn't be offering him Ƶ250,000 if this wasn't a serious ask. They desperately want him to fuck over Mahobi. He can do so easily without losing his job or it ever coming back on him. The only question (rightfully) is how the hell do Ryori and Ledas have that much money to spare? I'm not sure Anraku believes Chiaki's story about Ledas winning Ƶ3,000,000, but the fact that his voice adds to the story definitely softens Anraku up. He knows that if they're lying, he can fuck them over. They've paid him for a private room in the Guac. That was a lot of money. They have to be loaded. He'd be a fool not to take the offer.
Anraku bringing his girlfriend on the trip was done for comedic purposes almost exclusively, although it colors his character, especially in terms of him flirting with Ms. Mahobi in the next scene.
Anraku may not believe Ryori's story about the spaceship, but the fact that he can't rent it out until after Hachi and Chiwan's older brother has used it provides a certain level of legitimacy. He could always contact Hizara to confirm. They probably don't know each other, but it's a foolproof way to make sure. He may have done this. Anraku's a smart guy.
Ledas beams at Ryori because he's super grateful for his boyfriend working out a scheme to get back at Ms. Mahobi. When Ryori promised they'd get her back in that soccer match scene during chapter 8, he wasn't lying. This is the proof. Ledas is very grateful. He can't help but get emotional. His boy's sticking up for him. A Saiyan always appreciates one who fights for him. Ryori's actions here will not go unrewarded. He's gonna get some later (we'll talk about this more during the sixth deleted scene).
Anraku laid the sweet talk on Mahobi, but the story didn't have the wordcount to account for a long flirting session. Can you tell I don't care enough about Mahobi to humanize her super hard? She's being humanized, but not to the extent where she gets a long convo with Anraku. Flirting is difficult, regardless. Trying to write that shit's nerve-racking.
Anraku likely bribed the bartender he switched places with. Maybe he sweet-talked her and is cheating on his girlfriend. I'd like to be a little more optimistic than that.
The amount of drinks Mahobi goes through in scene 5 is crazy. I'm a professional alcoholic and I couldn't drink as much as she does in this scene without getting blackout drunk and/or throwing up. I don't understand how people can drink more than like 7 shots/beers. It always wrecks me when I go that high. How does one develop a tolerance at that level? Asking for a friend.
Moving onto shots after already drinking a bunch is never a good idea. Doing three in quick succession is catastrophic. Anraku's going to be fucked up too. Not as much, true, but the rest of his shift's going to suck. I've never worked while drunk. My brother does that all the time. I don't get it. Whenever I get drunk, I just want to sit down and relax. I couldn't imagine having to work while feeling like that.
"One kid in particular’s a passive-aggressive instigator." - I'm sure Ledas would be proud to learn his teacher thought this of him.
The fact Mahobi doesn't know Jia isn't Ledas' parent shows how little she's learned about the kids she's teaching. She has a lot of opinions and few facts to back her up.
Mahobi seems like a vodka drinker. I won't disagree with my past self on that account.
Mahobi is right that Ledas earned his detentions. It's unfortunate that his behavior (and Jia's) has affected her so. I tried to humanize Mahobi (whether it was successful or not, I can't say), showing her in the gutter from dealing with the stress of Ledas' bullshit. She's not wrong about any of this. KV the author has sympathy for her. KV the anthologizer, not so much. Poor me. Poor me. Pour me another drink.
Mahobi's an amateur. Drinking straight shots is something only college-aged kids do. Having a chaser is stupid. Mix that shit. You make yourself look like a fool and extremely alcoholically inexperienced if you don't.
"I guarantee they won’t amount to anything when they’re older." - I won't say this assessment is unwarranted. Whether or not it comes to pass, nobody knows, because writing for these characters like 10 years from this point in the timeline is not something I'll do for a long time if ever. So who knows? Maybe they'll be successful, maybe they won't. That's a problem for future KV.
Anraku provides legitimately good advice amidst his flirting. The dialogue at this point in the fifth scene was difficult to write. Flirting's not my strong suit. Takes many drafts to make it seem to me even semi-passable. To others, it may still be cringe. Who knows? I only have my own perspective. I thought I did a decent job, but I don't really any any clue. This is not my strong suit.
"Don’t think about them while you’re not working." - this line has aged like fine wine since I've worked as long as I have at my job. The job is the job, free time is free time. Gotta separate the two. Gotta have your passions. Otherwise, life isn't worth living.
Mahobi had more shots than I could take before she moves away from Anraku. She's gotta either be a veteran alcoholic or absolutely blackout drunk already. I don't know which. Better to leave it ambiguous.
Mahobi barely reacting to the taste of that last shot implies she's either very drunk, is such an alcoholic that this is par for the course, or both. I don't know what to say. I drink a lot, but I can't do naked shots. That's a stupid game to play. It's hurting yourself for no reason. There's literally no reason to not mix it with soda or a sweetener of some kind. It's just stupid. There's not a shot out there that tastes good on its own. Stop trying to pretend.
"Man! I Feel Like a Woman!" is one of the worst songs ever written. Lyrically, it's kindergarten level. Because of that, I had to reference it. This saga is all about terrible songs. The tone must remain consistent.
Anraku didn't expect Mahobi to expose her breasts. That was all on her. The goal was to get her so drunk she wouldn't show up to class the next day (which ends up happening anyway). What she provides for the crowd is far beyond what was asked for. It shows Mahobi's true nature is that of a whore. She gets off on using her sexuality to gain favor. Fair play, but at the same time, we have to call this shit out. She's trashy. Tons of guys would bang her, but few would settle down with her. That's Mahobi's eternal problem. Her personality doesn't lend itself to long-term relationships. Plus, being a booze-hound makes that sort of thing more difficult. Mahobi doesn't realize that by abusing alcohol because she's lonely and wants a mate, she's doing everything she can to prevent that from happening. Shit man, it's like I'm giving therapy to myself. I've never felt more called out!
The way Kairyupin reacts implies she's dealt with Mahobi's shit before (probably not this semester). I'm getting the sense she doesn't like Mahobi very much. I'd love to see what she texted Mahobi. It looks like she laid into her.
The Jimmy Firecracker documentary is an idea I came up with on 12/29/22 while preparing for my 17 one-shot collection (which is still unwritten as of this commentary at the end of September 2024). Basically, during the latter part of the Cell Games, Jimmy Firecracker became increasingly aware that Mr. Satan was a fraud, outright stating several times that he didn't believe Mr. Satan could do anything to the creature and that Gohan was much stronger than him. Of course, he comes around at the end, "believing" Mr. Satan won. I felt like in the years after the Cell Games, Firecracker's conscience would have gotten the best of him and he'd make a documentary about how Mr. Satan did not actually defeat Cell, using footage he and Lionel shot. I will write this a few months after commentating here, so not exactly sure about the specifics of the commentary, but I expect he'll use the footage Lionel shot to prove Cell was indeed otherworldly and show that Mr. Satan did indeed get knocked out legitimately. I'll probably also have him mention that Mr. Satan's supposed stomach virus went away after he "won", implying he was lying the whole time. We'll see. That should be a fun story. I put it in WCS as an easter egg but also as a way to force myself to write it, because now that it exists in my canon, I'll need to explore it further.
I hate door-to-door religious people. No solicitors! This type of shit is cancerous. Jehovah’s Witnesses are cultists, so they were an easy pick. I watched some youtube videos on ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses explaining how to get rid of them easily, which is where the business card comes from. Wilde clearly shares my opinion on the men. They got off easy, all things considered.
The business card says that fornicators and sodomizers lurk within, which is not hyperbolic. Ledas and Ryori have lots of fun together. Sodomy's great, and they soon learn that in the sixth deleted scene taking place not long after Wilde's encounter with the men. They were not disfellowshipped individuals. I put that there because the ex-Jehovah’s Witness said that'd prevent them from ever coming back to that house. I love the card. It's so tongue-in-cheek, so tonally fitting with the saga. Fuck religions that try to convert me only to tell me being non-straight is a sin. You guys are the fucked ones. Again, they were let off easy. Wilde could've easily vaporized them, and it's not like they'd deserve less for making the world a worse place with their cult (it would be a little extreme, though).
Wilde growls because it was insanely rude of the man to drop the card instead of handing it back to him. That guy was sinning when he did that. I'm sure he'll burn in the pits of hell for all eternity for littering.
I consider anyone who thinks sodomy's evil or a moral failing to be evil themselves. If you're gonna judge me, I'm gonna judge you. I won't apologize for two consenting adults enjoying themselves together.
Sudoku's hella fun. I used to play it in study hall. I'm not super great at it, but I wasn't terrible, either. That's the main reason Chiaki's doing that. Perhaps it points to him being more academically gifted than otherwise shown.
If Mahobi had been watching the kids at all, she'd have seen Ledas sleeping, especially since he doesn't ever write in his notebook or turn the page. She's earning the hell out of her paycheck.
Ledas is so tired not just from having to maintain Super Saiyan 2, but because he trains with Vegeta almost every night (especially now that he has a rejuvenation tank) from like midnight to two or three in the morning. He's never getting more than four or five hours of sleep, which tends to catch up to you.
Mahobi's words of wisdom at the end of detentions prove to be consistently half-assed and mediocre, kind of like her teaching style one might notice.
The way they get Mahobi is perfect because it doesn't seem like they set it up, just seems like somehow they got ahold of a viral video. In this way, they manipulate her into feeling embarrassed without her anger being directed at them. Of course, she's a little mad that they're playing it in front of her, which she'd no doubt consider rude, but they don't think they orchestrated it. In the end, though, Mahobi is responsible for her choices, regardless of how much alcohol she had.
Rarely do blackout drunks sing with grace. I won't be too mean to her. Maybe she's decent when sober. But you gotta know your limits.
I'm sure the fact that her students have seen her breasts traumatizes Ms. Mahobi. Her own fault, though. Tabashi response colors his character ever so nicely. He may develop a cougar fetish from this. We'll see (probably not).
Ledas' rant about big boobs is something I had looked for a place for during the entire saga. I had originally planned on it occurring in chapter 6 back when Ledas went to the Guac with the others. Since that didn't happen, I looked for another place to put it into the story (as I had pretty much the entire conversation already mapped out), and found the perfect spot here. Like Ledas, I prefer smaller boobs. They just have better shapes, in my opinion, on average, and you can really get a hefty squeeze in on them. I also don't care about boob jobs (literally don't remember if I've ever fapped to one of those vids, but I'd assume not), so smaller boobs are no problem for me there. I've always wondered if this is tied in to me preferring male bodies over female ones or if it's a separate aesthetic. Dunno, but yeah, everything Ledas says about boobs is how I feel.
Chiaki tying Ledas' preferences back to his homeworld is clever and truer than he knows. I'm not sure Ledas liking small boobs is because Saiyan females by and large don't have big ones because they're warriors. It may be inborn, may be influenced by his environment, but there's no way to know for certain. It was pure luck that I was able to make this comparison.
Ledas is most certainly not in love with his mother. Oedipus complexes are more common in fiction than in real life, methinks. I poked fun at that by making Chiaki and Tabashi firm believers in the theory (not that they'd admit they're sexually attracted to their mothers, so it's a bit hypocritical to bring up). It's never been true for me. I don't get people who fall in love with one of their parents. It's bizarre and disgusting and certainly not a trait I'd give my favorite OC.
Mahobi already knew they had a recording of her singing. She panics when she notices it's a video that includes her taking her breasts out. She could lose her job over that. It's going to be hard returning to the classroom to teach kids she knows have seen her boobs. A tough moment, but ultimately entirely her own fault, so I have no sympathy. I can empathize a bit, but that doesn't mean I feel she's been hard done.
I began working on the sixth deleted scene on May 17, 2024. I finished it just after midnight on May 18^th, making it the sixth deleted scene first drafted. I finalized it on May 19^th a few minutes after finalizing deleted scene #3, making it the sixth deleted scene final drafted. I've read this one a lot, as one would expect. It has tremendous replay value.
Deleted scene #6 happens after scene 8. It's the longest deleted scene (not counting chapter 12.5), probably because it's the most complex sex scene. This is the scene where Ledas and Ryori lose their virginities, which occurs, canonically, on June 18, Age 774 (the same day Ledas had detention—what a juxtaposition). Since the deleted scenes are accessible from the West City Saga page, I'm not going to give play-by-play as I did with The Forgotten's. You can view the scene yourself if you wish, or don't. I don't care either way.
Ledas reveals that he's a bottom to Ryori in the sixth deleted scene. Before this, Ryori didn't know. He might've suspected, but I don't think there was anything in their previous deleted scenes that showed him acting like a bottom. Oral stuff and rubbing against one another is something most tops and bottoms engage in. Learning that must've been one of Ryori's most exhilarating moments in life, since he's a top through and through. He knows now that they can engage in the ultimate fun together. Jehovah's Witnesses look away now, we have some sinning to get to.
I wanna learn the superpower of being able to do anal stuff hands-free. It's gotta be amazing. I've tried and come close (!) a couple times, but never managed to do it. One day, I'll unlock that achievement. Just gotta figure out how. I'm certainly jealous of Ledas' ability to do it. If there's one thing I wish I could do (besides lucid dreaming regularly), it'd be that.
I suspect it's a Saiyan female trait to wrap the tail around the guy doing them. Ledas carries this trait because, in the bedroom, he's quite feminine. This may be based on someone I know (mere speculation on my part).
Ledas engages in ATM, as they call it, because that's one of my favorite things to do personally.
Reading the sixth deleted scene never fails to produce a reaction in me that's somewhat weird since there are no girls involved (especially after not having any fun for a few days). Aren't I only supposed to get this way, biologically speaking, because of a woman? Why didn't I? Checkmate atheists.
The ninth scene is the last new scene I wrote for West City Saga. I wrote it mainly to further solidify the bond between Jia and Ledas/Ryori as well as delve into some specific topics I wanted to discuss and had not been able to yet, such as Jia's inability to have kids and what that means for her acting as a caretaker, as well as continuing to build up to Chiaki and Chiwan dating. That's the primary reason Chiaki's in the scene, although he'd naturally hang out with Ryori and Ledas because he's good friends with them by this point (easily the one they like the most of the six seventh-graders). Plus, there were many opportunities for comedy, especially with food stuff and watching monkeys pleasure themselves.
The monkey scene was a necessity. So thematically relevant, so tonally consistent, so metaphorical on a billion different levels. What a hallmark of writing. I've never done anything so noteworthy before or since. But in all seriousness, if you go to the zoo and don't see a monkey pleasuring himself, you should ask for a refund.
Ryori is one to talk about stamina, especially as the zoo scene takes place one day after deleted scene #6 where Ryori didn't last more than two minutes twice in a row. Ledas outlasted him both times. With that said, Ledas doesn't have great stamina either (who would at their age?). Their proficiency fluctuates, which is why neither one wins the swordfighting competition every day (although Ryori beat Ledas badly in June, they tied in July Age 774).
Ryori's prison comment is one of the funniest things he's ever said. Gotta say, I love how the zoo scene opens. Lots of memorable moments in quick succession. This scene gives off the feeling that it was written late, as if I'd already gotten into the groove of the West City Saga before doing it because it's hitting all the notes I want it to.
Ledas' pigginess regarding food is one aspect he and Goku show off their Saiyan traits in nearly the same way. To be fair, Vegeta's like that too. It's an important personality trait. He's immense appetite is bolstered by being in Super Saiyan 2 at all times. He's expending an inordinate amount of energy just sitting there. He's going to stuff his face more than usual. Getting the humans' reactions was a priority, as that's what this saga's all about. The food shit is one of Toriyama's comedic tropes I've always enjoyed, so I lean in that direction often with my own humor. It's a nice parallel and makes the saga feel more Dragon Ballesque.
"She thought it was a joke, see?" - Chiaki's referring to the message Tabashi drunkenly sent Chiwan on Chiaki's phone about Chiaki's penis back in chapter 6.
"Easier said than done. I don’t think I could handle it if she said no. It’d be mega awkward." - he's right. And to be fair, it's straightforward from the reader/author's POV, because we can see Chiwan likes Chiaki too. But he's the character in the story, living this day to day, moment to moment. He doesn't have an unbiased perspective, isn't able to assess from a detached state. He's also thirteen. Not the most rational age. Emotions are overflowing, clouding his judgment. Anxiety is like two arms wrapped around the neck, choking the confidence from him. I suspect even if he knew she'd say yes to dating him, he'd have trouble asking.
The Jia characterization was invaluable, for not only did it explain her past and why she became a caretaker, but it shows why she loves the boys as much as she did, willing to throw away her position in the New Red Ribbon Army to protect them. I developed the idea that she can't have kids to further her desperately parental nature, and at the time, I had a sneaking suspicion that once Shoekki's brought back to life, he'll get with Jia (she's only 6 years his senior, which isn't a huge age gap for people in their mid-twenties). I explored this idea in Monkeyboy's First Vacation almost entirely because of what Jia says about her dating life in scene 9.
"Well, since Ryori and I are orphans, we’re sorta like your kids, right? Isn’t that why you’re with us?" - Jia is greatly affected by these words. She holds back a lot of emotion in her response. Were I directing an actor in this moment, I'd have tons of advice to give on mannerisms and whatnot because there's a lot left unsaid that matters greatly.
Holding the sandwich with his tail was perhaps a step too far, but Ledas was super, super hungry. When it comes to food, he acts even more childish than usual. At the same time, having a tail would be useful for all sorts of things. He's using his biology to his advantage. If I had a tail, I'd do the same thing. Plus, in a way, it's very minor training. He's making sure to keep his tail dexterous and coordinated with his limbs, which will pay dividends in future battles when he has to make split-second decisions.
"Boys don’t have tails. I’ve told you before." - this is a reference to the beginning of Dragon Ball where Goku tries to convince Bulma (and almost does) that boys have tails while girls don't, and Bulma thinks that his tail's glued to his butt when she shows him how to take a shower.
"That’s because I don’t want one." - Ryori is very deliberate with his wording here, although Chiaki knows that Ryori is gay because of the bedroom scene from the previous chapter. Ryori's being pedantic because he does want a significant other, just not one who possesses a vagina (he finds those icky, allegedly). Ryori gives Chiaki good advice about skating. Chiaki takes this to heart, especially in the third scene of chapter 12 when he tries his best to surf with Chiwan. I'll speak more about his actions in that chapter's endnotes, but importantly, Ryori helps Chiaki settle on a strategy moving forward. He's thought about doing this before. Hearing another person say it significantly encourages him to proceed with his plan.
If I had Ledas' powers, I'm 100% going in that tiger enclosure to pet one. That's what lucid dreaming's for, I suppose. Ledas loves kitties (as any good boy should). His Saiyan nature probably leads him to respect the big cats even more.
The people watching Ledas in the pen must've thought they were hallucinating seeing him jump and teleport around. Maybe they thought they'd been drugged or were a little drunker than usual.
Ledas' actions with the tiger were peak trolling. This is a great moment to explore one of his core facets. He's a troll at heart, hedonistic and naive, and he doesn't care who sees it. I wish I had the strength to act like that (if it could be called that). He doesn't let his anxiety rule him, doesn't care what others think about him as they watch. I desperately need to learn this superpower.
Jia isn't wrong to get Ledas out of there. It's a funny image seeing her dragging him out (and he allowing it) after Ledas just danced around the tiger.
The Nhobusa text foreshadows a very serious thing in the next chapter. This was a necessary addition after I chose to kill Cardinal. Cardinal didn't die in the first draft. I needed to put earlier scenes in to build up to that moment, rather than just rewrite the chapter 12 scene with King Furry. Little moments like this one are very useful to strengthen the plot, only possible during the editing phase.
One could say it's thematic for someone to throw up after the gravity training unit roars into space. Like Hachi like Anraku's girlfriend. Says a lot about Chiwan's brother, amirite?
Theo is unusually sarcastic in the tenth scene. He's gotta be in rare form because he knows he'll never be around them again. I wonder if Dr. Brief programmed that into him or if he's learning to think for himself.
Undecided on if Theo knew what he was doing by asking her to take a shower (would he know Anraku would go in with her?). I mean, he didn't ask Hachi to do the same, but it's also a fair point that Hachi didn't throw up all over himself. I suppose there's enough reasonable doubt that Theo can get away with his shenanigans if that's his game.
Ledas probably told Anraku to bring changes of clothes for him and his girlfriend. There would not be clothes for her otherwise.
Theo learned from chapter 7 how to handle vomit. Not that he wouldn't be able to figure it out himself, but certainly, he's showing how Ledas has influenced him. One of the big secondary themes of this saga is how Ledas influences those around him. He doesn't have the "virtuous" nature of Goku that influences villains to become allies, but there's some parallel action going on here that is more childish, greyer, and yet perhaps more rational and realistic than what occurs with Goku.
I wish Ryori could've been there to witness Anraku take pictures of Earth from space with his phone. He'd be so fuckin' smug about it. Anraku realizes the kids are the real deal in this moment. This is why they're seen in the Guac again in chapter 12. Anraku allows them in because he knows he can get free spaceship rides in return. Their respect for one another has been mended after the debacle in chapter 6. I'm not sure if I'll show any more scenes of the boys in the Guac from this time period. Perhaps, perhaps not, but it must be noted that they go there semi-frequently from this point on as a result of Anraku's successful trip to space. Maybe he too experienced the overview effect and softened his stance on them. We'll never know.
The way Ledas trains in scene 11 is similar to how Goku trains on his way to Namek, especially near the end. It's stamina training more than anything else. He doesn't always train with Vegeta. Sometimes he needs to hone his skills in private. I put this scene in somewhat to show that he's not sparring with Vegeta every night. Sometimes, it's just him. Sometimes, he has to take a step back to make sure he's good enough to fight Vegeta. Considering he loses every sparring session with the prince in this saga, it's no surprise he's trying to get some extra training in by himself. I don't know how he finds the time. Notably, he's not training at 650G like he was with Vegeta. 450G is more comfortable. He's not going to destroy his body at that level while still being able to post some gains. The gravity level implies he's not training as hard as he could be, but rather going a tad bit easier on his body (for who knows what reason).
Kiwi is my favorite fruit. It's also Ledas' favorite fruit (a surprise, I know). That's why he picks that drink. It's also a reference to the Saibamen drinking that as a reward at the end of chapter 4. Ledas is acting like his Pokémon here.
Scene 11 did not originally end with Ledas finding a condom wrapper. I added that during the editing phase to bring more comedy into the scene, to make it more tonally consistent with the rest of the saga. Anraku didn't do anything wrong by having sex with his girlfriend during the spaceship ride. Ledas should've expected it. Now he knows. I think he's finds the condom somewhat funny since his boyfriend doesn't have to use them. Condoms suck. Straights aren't the only ones who use them, but it's for different reasons for the most part. With that said, I have a mild condom fetish that I've never seen anyone else mention having (and haven't been able to find any vids about). But I like wearing my boyfriend's condom after fucking me in the ass, especially if there's a pool of cum in it. The condom is always warm and stretched out and then I just jerk off into it, mixing our cum cuz that's super hot or something like that.
This chapter was very interesting in terms of the broad beats. Many subjects were covered. The pacing was different from any chapter before, utilizing a myriad of short scenes instead of any main set pieces. Lots of iconic moments. This is a quieter chapter plotwise, focusing more on the characterization than anything else. The focus on Ryori, Jia, and Chiaki was a great move. The detention shit was great too, but super difficult to write, if I'm being honest. They got Mahobi real good in this one. One of the subtlest trolls I've done. The best Saibaman scene is in this chapter, as is the hottest deleted scene (although not the best one, I'll admit). Despite the zoo scene being added in during the editing phase, it was a big part of this chapter, adding greatly to the quality of the chapter. This one is really good. Not sure where I'll rank it at the end, but I love it and am proud to have written it.

12. Long Ways to Go Yet

<6:04 A.M.>

Old woman: Soon, kitty, soon. Another video or two, hang on. Patience. <SHE INHALES SEVERAL VAPE HITS; SHE LOOKS AT SOMETHING BY HER FEET; THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON A CLOSE-UP OF A GASOLINE CAN; SHE SWITCHES TABS (HAVING ROUGHLY THIRTY-SEVEN TO FORTY-TWO OPEN AT PRESENT—ONE CANNOT BE SURE IN THIS DAY AND AGE) AS THE HUMMEL VIDEO ENDS; THIS TIME IT’S A HOW-TO VIDEO ON HOW TO PERFORM A CONTROLLED BURN; SHE LICKS HER LIPS, ROCKING BACK AND FORTH, BLINKING TO STAY AWAKE; THE CAT CRIES IN HUNGER; GRUFFLY> Soon, kitty, I already told you. Shut up. Shitty ungrateful pest. <SHE SCOOTS HIM AWAY WITH THE BACK OF HER HAND BEFORE RETURNING HER ATTENTION TO THE COMPUTER> I have to burn them before tomorrow. Have to. Must. Can’t sleep yet. No sleep till the mongrels are returned to the pits of hell. Can’t wait another day.

Old woman: <BARELY PAYING ATTENTION TO THE VIDEO AUDIBLY PLAYING IN ANOTHER TAB; TYPING AWAY> You sad, sorry old tart, they aren’t robots, they’re demonic minikins. Wicked monsters. They look like hellspawn, act like hellspawn, why would anyone with an ounce of common sense think they’re robots? Absolute twat. That opinion belongs directly in the bin. Off with you, shabbaroon. You’re banned. Get off my server.

Old Woman: <TAKING ANOTHER DEEP PUFF, THEN TWO QUICK ONES AFTER; SHE COUGHS, BRINGING A HAND TO HER MOUTH, SPILLING VAPOR OUT OF HER ANCIENT GUMS> The gasoline’s potent. I can smell it. Terrible odor. <A NEW MESSAGE APPEARS ON THE DISCORD SERVER; SNEERING, HER LIP QUIVERING, THE OLD WOMAN PECKS AT THE KEYBOARD WITH HER INDEX FINGERS LIKE A BOXING PRAYING MANTIS; OUT OF BREATH> Shut your trap, rattlecap. Damn that poltroon.

Reporter: We’re here on the scene of a most unusual tragedy. Spontaneous combustion—myth or reality? Every year, five to twelve elderly women appear to spontaneously combust. The reason remains unclear. This pandemic’s terrible track record has continued into the heart of West City where tragically Mrs. Baba O’Kasha perished today in a blaze of glory in a chair in her bedroom earlier this morning. Firefighters are on the scene and a Spontaneous Combustion expert has been called in to…

Ryori: Yo, didja set the backyard on fire again?

Ledas: <SPOONING OUT A KIWI AS HE WATCHES THE THREE STOOGES> Nuh uh, I didn’t do nothin’, I swear.

Ryori: Maybe it was the saibas.

Ledas: No way. They haven’t raised their power levels since yesterday. It’s their rest day.

Ryori: <RETURNING TO THE COUCH> Then what happened? There was a fire next door.

Ledas: Who knows? More importantly, who cares?

Ryori: I dunno, thought you were involved somehow. Guess it was just a random event. Couldn’t be helped.

Ledas: Fascinating. C’mon, I finally figured out where that jackal sniper spawned. We can get through this part, I know it.

<10:32 P.M.>

King Furry: How’s he doing?

Nhobusa: His brainwave signs are nil. Doctors said there’s nothing they can do. He’s a vegetable.

King Furry: <CLOSING HIS EYES, SCRUNCHING UP HIS FACE> Then it’s as we feared. When will you pull the plug?

Nhobusa: Sometime before morning. I’m working out transferring his assets to our administration. It’ll be a few hours. But yes, the decision’s already been made.

King Furry: Take your time. I know this is a difficult process. No need to rush. In the meantime, I’ve appointed a new head of SAARO. Fear not. You will report directly to him. You will maintain your security clearances and positions. Nhobusa, return to the Crimson Fingers to lead our satellite detachment. Jia, I’ve been told you are monitoring an alien living in West City. Tell me about it.

Jia: As his caretaker, yes. The boy’s only thirteen. He’s an orphan. Mr. Cardinal provided him with a home and paid for me to watch over him.

King Furry: <WITH A STERN TONE> Is that all you’re doing? You wouldn’t happen to be setting up an elaborate plot to assassinate him? One could deduce Cardinal’s building collapsed as a result of your meddling were that the case.

Nhobusa: Absolutely not. Since your order last month, we have ceased any aggressive operations against the aliens.

King Furry: I asked her.

Jia: Mr. Cardinal transferred me to serve as a parental figure for the boy and to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble. In fact, he’s about to graduate the seventh grade. He’s doing better than expected. We don’t have anything to worry about.

King Furry: Good to hear. In the interest of maintaining peace, I will continue to fund your position. After he reaches the age of eighteen, however, that funding will cease and you will return to your previous position.

Jia: Understood, sir. I will do everything in my power to make sure the boy becomes a useful member of society.

King Furry: One last thing—and I cannot stress this enough—do not interfere with Goku’s friends ever again. What I told Cardinal before remains official policy. He and his friends are no threat to the planet. They’ve saved us from many threats, including Majin Buu.

Nhobusa: Wasn’t that Mr. Satan’s doing?

King Furry: <SCOFFING> Please, don’t feign ignorance. You know as well as I do that it required someone of Goku’s level to deal with that monster. The aliens in his group are no threat to the planet. They are Earthlings the same as you or I. Should you take further actions against them, you will forfeit your positions in SAARO. Do I make myself clear?

Nhobusa: Yes, sir.

Jia: Understood.

King Furry: <PUTTING A HAND ON CARDINAL’S SHOULDER, LOOKING DOWN ON HIM FOR A MOMENT; BLINKING, HE PULLS AWAY> That will be all for now.

Jia: <SPEAKING AS SOON AS SHE’S SURE KING FURRY IS OUT OF EARSHOT> So what’s the plan? We can’t go along with that.

Nhobusa: <IN A LOW TONE> Proceed as normal. I’ll contact you when we’re ready to move forward with the next stage of our plan. It may be a while. I’m not sure where to go from here, but I’m not giving up.

Jia: <FEIGNED TONE> Neither have I. We’ll eliminate the aliens somehow.

Nhobusa: Don’t tell him what happened to Cardinal. He’s never to know.

Jia: Right. But at some point, the funding will run out and we’ll lose our grip over him.

Nhobusa: Five years is a long time. We’ll put forth our final solution before then. Keep your head down and your ears open. I’ll have something for you before long.

<1:13 P.M.>

Ryori: <RUBBING HIS WRIST; IN HIS MIND> You’re gonna owe me big-time for that, Leeds.

Hizara: Kami, they aren’t coming in any time soon. Show-offs.

Hachi: <DRYING HIS HAIR WITH A TOWEL> They’re showing off for each other, not us.

Ryori: He’s trying to, at least.

<7:44 P.M.>

<JIA, RYORI, AND LEDAS ARE IN THE KITCHEN; A THREE STOOGES EPISODE PLAYS ON THE TELEVISION (“HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND DUMB”^[31]) AS THE BOYS EAT ICE CREAM AT THE ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM; JIA PUTS THE FINAL MAGNET ON RYORI’S SEVENTH-GRADE GRADUATION CERTIFICATE ON THE REFRIGERATOR>

Jia: Boys, I’m so proud of you. You stepped up and put the work in. I must admit, I didn’t entirely believe you would be capable of this, but you proved me wrong. Congratulations.

Ryori: Eh, it was no big deal. Some of the stuff I’d already learned back in Seikishi, so it was a piece of cake. Mostly.

Ledas: Do you think the teachers knew what was going on?

Ryori: No way. They bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Jia: Your essays were written at probably a high school level, but your teachers wouldn’t have been able to call you out on it because there was no plagiarism. The in-class essay that we pre-wrote was the clincher. They couldn’t reasonably think afterward you weren’t who we pretended you were. Ryori, your memorization skills are excellent. I don’t think I’d be able to do what you did today. Legitimately impressive.

Ledas: <WITH A WIDE SMILE> Scammed ‘em good, didn’t we?

Ryori: Got ‘em good. I wonder though, did you learn to read any of the words you were writing?

Ledas: Iono, not really. The math stuff wasn’t hard. I barely needed to look at your paper for those questions. But it was a fun challenge.

Ryori: Are you gonna go to school with us next year?

Ledas: A non-accelerated class? No way. That’d be too much. Pure torture. <RYORI GIVES A DISAPPOINTED LOOK> It’s not like I’m going anywhere, dude. I’m just not gonna do your Earth homework and sit in those classes all day. I’m a Saiyan—I must continue to train, and I will.

Ryori: Fair enough as long as you’re around. The rest of the class will want to remain in contact.

Ledas: <STUFFING HIS FACE WITH CAKE> There’ll be plenty of opportunities for us to hang out. I’m not going anywhere. Earth is my home now.

Jia: Try to stay out of trouble, would you? If I’ve learned anything this past month, it’s that you tend to get caught up in all sorts of shenanigans, relying upon Ledas to get you out of them.

Ryori: That’s not true.

Jia: That time you went out without him, you returned home escorted by a cop. Think I forgot? I’m not mad or anything, nor is it my place to assume the role of your parents. All the same, I am your caretaker, and I don’t want you to get mixed up in anything dangerous. Be careful out there.

Ryori: Yeah, yeah, we’ll be fine.

Ledas: Mute it. Mute it! I didn’t consent to being advertised to.

Ryori: <TAKING THE REMOTE AND MUTING THE TELEVISION> Can you believe some people just sit there and watch commercials?

Ledas: I’ll never understand it. Your culture can be really weird. <WITH A WIDE GRIN> So passive—ripe for conquering.

Jia: To be fair, plenty of people don’t watch them.

Ledas: Nah, it’s more about how it’s considered normal.

Ryori: Those people suck. Ledas is right. There are too many like that. They go right in the trash where they belong.

<11:47 A.M.>

<1:16 A.M.>

Bar patron #1: Shit, I’m seeing things. Must be more buzzed than I thought.

Azashi: Ugh, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. How can people drink that shit?

Ledas: <DRINKING A BEER WHILE MAKING A SOUR FACE> I dunno. This canned stuff’s a wee bit better. Not by much, but at least it’s palatable.

Chiaki: That’s beer. How the hell does my mom drink so many of these? Way too bitter. Bleh.

<11:47 A.M.>

<TEMOTO’S AUTOSHOP, WEST CITY>

<TABASHI, HIS UNCLE TEMOTO, HACHI, CHIAKI, RYORI, AND LEDAS HANG OUT IN TEMOTO’S AUTO SHOP; TEMOTO, WHO IS TALL, BALD, AND COVERED IN GREASE, IS IN THE MIDDLE OF SHOWING THEM HOW TO FIX SOMETHING IN A HOVERCAR’S ENGINE; THE BOYS GROUP AROUND TEMOTO; WHILE HE’S LECTURING THEM, NONE OF HIS SPEECH CAN BE HEARD; HE HANDS A TOOL TO LEDAS, ASSISTING HIM IN STICKING IT IN SOMETHING INSIDE THE ENGINE; A FEW SECONDS LATER, A SPURT OF OIL SHOOTS OUT, SPLATTERING THE BOY IN THE FACE>

<6:12 P.M.>

<AZASHI’S HOUSE, EASTERN WEST CITY>

<CHIAKI, HACHI, CHIWAN, TABASHI, RYORI, IPPI, LEDAS, AND AZASHI ARE IN AZASHI’S HOUSE, FEASTING WITH AZASHI’S PARENTS, ANRAKU, AND LITTLE SISTER KAITEN, HAVING A GRAND OLD TIME; LEDAS CONSUMES THE FOOD IN TYPICAL SAIYAN FASHION, ASTONISHING THE HUMANS SANS RYORI, WHO FACEPALMS IN EMBARRASSMENT AS LEDAS EATS ENOUGH FOR TWELVE PEOPLE IN TWO MINUTES; AS FAST AS HE’S GOING, WHEN CHIAKI STICKS A CUP OF SHRIMP COCKTAIL IN FRONT OF HIS FACE, THE SAIYAN GAGS AND RECOILS>

<7:22 P.M.>

<RYORI, CHIAKI, CHIWAN, AND TABASHI ARE IN THE MIDST OF A ROUND OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE GEARS OF WAR 3 HORDE MODE ON THE MAP TRENCHES, BUT GIVEN THIS IS THE DRAGON WORLD AND THAT GAME DOESN’T EXIST, THE SIMILARITIES ARE SURELY COINCIDENTAL; THEY HAVE BEEN SWARMED BY ENEMIES (THIS MAY BE A BOSS WAVE); A TENTACLED BERSERKER LURKS IN THE BACKGROUND, BUSTING THROUGH THEIR LASER FENCES>

Chiwan: Ah, revive, revive.

Tabashi: They’re overrunning us. I can’t get to you.

Chiaki: I gotcha. <HIS CHARACTER RUNS UP TO CHIWAN’S BEFORE HIS HEAD’S BLOWN OFF> Shit. Fuckin’ snipers man.

Ryori: Yeah, we’re cooked. Boss is a lambent Zerker, by the way. We’ve no chance.

Tabashi: Reset, reset, reset!

<1:46 P.M.>

Chiaki: Yo, what the hell? Didya tell your brother where we were going?

Chiwan: Dude, no way. He’s being a total snooping asshole. Kami, I knew he’d be like this. This is precisely why I didn’t tell him.

Chiaki: <UNDER HIS BREATH> Fish paste.

Chiwan: Oh, come on my face, dude! Why are you following me?

Hachi: <PROUDLY> Aha, I knew it. We caught ya red-handed.

Chiwan: <PULLING OUT HER PHONE, TYPING ON IT, SPEAKING SLOWLY AS SHE TYPES THE WORDS> Am I the asshole for following my sister to a movie theater to expose who she’s dating to my friends?

Hachi: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re not posting that, are you?

Chiwan: <SIDE-GLANCING> Watch me.

Hachi: <TALKING MUCH FASTER THAN USUAL> Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. You don’t need to do that.

Chiwan: Don’t I? Why do you have to intrude on my personal life? It’s none of your business.

Hachi: Dude, what are you hiding this for? Are you ashamed of going out with Chiaki?

Chiwan: <SHOVING HIM> Shut up!

Tabashi: Ooh, she’s gettin’ defensive. That hit a nerve.

Chiaki: You shouldn’t be following us. You’re hella immature.

Ippi: Fuck off, don’t tell me what to do.

Ryori: <SMUGLY> What’s there to hide? You’re obviously together. C’mon, it’s no big deal, just admit it. If you aren’t ashamed, there’s nothing to hide.

<3:39 P.M.>

Vegeta: That’s enough for now.

Ledas: Yeah, ya beat me again, Vegeta.

Vegeta: <WITH A SMIRK> Don’t be disappointed. I’ve always been stronger.

Ledas: <SCOFFS DRYLY; GETTING TO HIS FEET> Don’t remind me. At least I know what I’m working toward. Speaking of which, isn’t Kakarot the strongest? You said something before about that, but I don’t know how it could be the case.

Vegeta: <WITH A FURIOUSLY PAINED LOOK> Kakarot found a form above Super Saiyan 2. He’s been calling it Super Saiyan 3. After he fought in it against Majin Buu, the gap in our power became clear. That’s not to say I haven’t reached a similar level. I used it against the creature who was after you several weeks back. You were unconscious at the time.

Ledas: What? Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me before? That’s badass.

Vegeta: <TILTING HIS HEAD> The form has too many drawbacks. I doubt I’ll ever use it again. The energy consumption is overwhelming, making it unreliable. My goal is to perfect Super Saiyan and use Super Saiyan 2 without expending unnecessary energy. We need to continue down this path. Already, you’re growing more comfortable in Super Saiyan 2. Haven’t you noticed? You’re keeping up much better than before.

Ledas: I’m not nearly there. There’s a long ways to go yet.

Vegeta: Your gains are noticeable. Don’t worry about it. You’ll soon be around my level. <WITH A LOOK OF SATISFACTION> But I’ll always be superior.

Ledas: Yeah right. You and Kakarot can go Super Saiyan 3 and I cannot.

Vegeta: You shouldn’t seek that dead-end form. Maximizing energy expenditure in Super Saiyan 2 is a more reliable strategy.

Ledas: Even so, dya think you could show me? I’ve never seen a Super Saiyan 3 before.

Vegeta: <HUFFING> Fine, but we better go outside. I don’t want to damage the gravity chamber further.

Ledas: Sheesh.

Ledas: <IN HIS MIND> Incredible…his power’s reached ridiculous heights. I’m so far behind him and Kakarot, it’s disgusting. I have to focus more on my training or I’ll be left behind.

Vegeta: <NOTICING THE LOOK ON LEDAS’ FACE> Feeling inadequate?

Ledas: I’d have to be asleep not to be.

Vegeta: <POWERS DOWN TO BASE> I will surpass Kakarot one day. Judging by this past month, I know you can keep up. Whatever you do, don’t use the Dragon Balls to give yourself Super Saiyan 3 for free. Earn it like a true warrior.

Ledas: Dragon Balls? What the heck are those?

Bikini: Oh, hi Vegeta. Would you and your friend like a cool glass of lemonade? I’ve made a fresh jug.

Vegeta: <FAILING TO MASK HIS DESIRE; WITH A SIGH> Sure, why not?

<12:07 P.M.>

Hachi: No way, Death Note goes to shit after L dies. Near’s overpowered. Doesn’t earn his win. The story gets hecka uninteresting after he’s introduced. That’s why I never recommend it to anybody.

Tabashi: That show’s way too complicated for me to follow.

Azashi: That’s because you’re a dumbass.

Hachi: Yeah, really, it’s not that hard to follow if you aren’t glued to your phone.

Tabashi: Hey, shut up. I got a better score than you on the math final.

Azashi: <SHRUGGING> Eh, I don’t care. Math’s for nerds.

Chiwan: Ooh, someone’s tryna have it both ways.

Ryori: <TOUCHING THE SLEEVE OF LEDAS’ SHIRT> Hey, is that my shirt?

Ledas: <SHRUGGING> Uh, maybe, I think so. Why? You wanna wear it?

Ryori: Nah, it’s just a little weird.

Ledas: Huh? It fits, and it’s comfortable. What’s the big deal?

Ippi: <LEANING OVER> You know, Leeds—

Passerby: We all hate Leeds scum!

Ryori: Speak for yourself.

Ippi: <WITH AN ANNOYED LOOK AT THE MAN> Anyways, if you started a mukbang channel, you’d get millions of views. I’ve never seen anyone eat as much as you. You’d be super popular.

Ledas: The heck’s a mukbang?

Ryori: People watch you eat and donate money.

Ledas: <UTTERLY PERPLEXED AT HOW THAT COULD BE A THING> B-but why? Is this typical of humans?

Ippi: It’s fun. Most people can’t eat anywhere near as much as you. You’ve got crazy skill. You should show the world your abilities.

Ledas: I only eat this much after burning a ton of energy training.

Ippi: Videos of you flying and stuff would go viral, too, you know. Just sayin’.

Ledas: Huh, what about Saiyans?

Ryori: <ROLLING HIS EYES> Shut up, you know what she said.

Ledas: I dunno, I don’t want to draw attention to myself or anything. I don’t care about online popularity. The fewer people who know about me, the less stressed I’ll be.

Ippi: What a strange perspective. Wild. You really weren’t born on Earth.

Terco Bobo Owner: Assholes, get away from my business. You’re trespassing. I won’t stand for this.

Azashi: <GETTING UP AND WALKING OVER TO THE PROPANE GRILL; STARING INTO SUBUTAYO’S EYES> I’ve mad respect for vegans, you know. My dad’s one. But you’ve no right to prevent others from eating meat. It’s not your call, not your decision to make. Our bodies were built to consume meat, our teeth designed for it, and any rational person knows there’s nothing immoral about eating it. Sure, you can say we don’t need it. We can get supplemental protein elsewhere. We could, but we don’t have to, and you can’t make us. A vegan life would be depressing. All the same, you can smell what’s in the air. You’d be lying to yourself if you said that doesn’t smell good.

Chiwan: They played themselves. Taping their lips in some sort of symbolic act of solidarity—what a joke. They can’t defend their actions without being able to speak.

Azashi: Couldn’t be more uncompelling if they tried.

Terco Bobo Owner: <THROWING THE VEGAN OFF AZASHI, A CAN OF PEPPER SPRAY IN HIS HAND; HE SPRAYS THE VEGAN IN THE FACE> Feel dat fire.

Terco Bobo Owner: <AMUSED> Heh, that all you got, brah, huh? Gotcha. <HE HELPS AZASHI BACK TO HIS FEET, KEEPING AN EYE ON THE VEGANS, WHO HAVE COLLAPSED ON THE ASSPHALT, WRITHING AND SCREAMING BENEATH THEIR DUCT TAPE> Ah, reminds me of my childhood.

Endnotes:

This chapter's name references this line of Smeagol's dialogue The Two Towers. This mostly refers to Ledas' quest to unlock Super Saiyan 3, which will be a plot point in the Emperor Kuriza Saga. It also has some relevance to the characters' relationships (Ledas and Ryori; Ledas, Ryori and Jia; Chiaki and Chiwan), as they're still in their infancy. We'll see how they play out as the story continues, whether they strengthen, wane, or are ended. I'm not sure if I will show when Ledas unlocks SS3. I'm considering putting it in a bonus chapter for the Emperor Kuriza Saga.
The original outline is as follows:
1. Chapter 12: Long Ways to Go Yet
  1. scene 1: the old woman plots to douse the Saibamen in gasoline in the wee hours of the morning, just before sunrise; she sits in her chair watching youtube, vaping and smoking and is very tired; cuts to a news report of her spontaneously combusting
  2. scene 2: King Furry meets with Cardinal in the hospital while Nhobusa and Jia are there; they discuss what to do about the aliens on Earth, with Furry ordering Cardinal to stand down against the Z Fighters or lose his job and security clearances
  3. scene 3: in class, after a test, they eat cake and celebrate graduating with Ms. Kairyupin and Mr. Takkuro; after school, they go surfing, where Chiaki shows off some decent moves that impress Chiwan
  4. scene 4: scene at home with Ledas, Ryori, and Jia discussing getting through seventh grade and what comes next
  5. scene 5: montage scene of the seventh graders hanging out at a festival, at the taco place seen in the final scene, at the guac (this scene is from Sandboys), several are at Temoto’s auto shop and Ledas spills oil on his face; have a scene with them hanging out and playing video games at someone’s house; have a scene where Azashi cooks a glorious feast for everyone; have a scene with Ledas and Ryori hanging out with Korin and Yajirobe, playing a game and feasting at the same time
  6. scene 6: Chiaki and Chiwan go on their date; Ledas, Hachi, Ryori, and Ippi follow them to watch how it goes, but they get busted
  7. scene 7: Vegeta and Ledas spar; Vegeta showcases SS3 and explains why he doesn't like the form; Ledas hints at a desire to use it; Vegeta should mention the Dragon Balls in this scene, leading to Ledas thinking about reviving Ryori's brother the next time the balls are active
  8. scene 8: several of the gang hang out at a taco stand several weeks after the end of seventh grade; they run into Subutayo and the vegans again
2. All of the scenes in the outline appeared in the final version of the chapter, although there are some differences. Originally, Cardinal survived this saga, so he was going to be lucid during the second scene. I changed that only during the editing phase. Cardinal was alive in the first draft. The fifth scene is indeed a montage scene, but I didn't use every idea listed above (while coming up with new ones). Ledas doesn't go with the kids to track down Chiwan and Chiaki in scene 6. Didn't seem like something he'd care about. Everything else is pretty accurate to what happened.
My notes for the first draft of chapter 12 are as follows:
1. 7/12/23: fish paste is an excellent Spongebob insult and must be worked into the story
2. 8/3/23: do one of those ones where Ledas wears Ryori's shirt or vice-versa
3. 8/8/23: scene that must happen - Ledas and Vegeta are sparring when Vegeta shows Ledas ss3 and explains why he doesn't like the form; Ledas says he will work towards perfecting SS2 but hints at a desire to use the form
4. 8/30/23: have Ledas and Ryori piss onto a train track at night waiting for the train to come (they need to have at least one other person with them)
5. 8/8/23: scene that must happen - King Furry fires Cardinal as part of his government
6. 9/6/23: Chiaki/Chiwan date scene moved to chapter 10 on this day due to reaching word limit on ch9; 9/7/23 addendum: this scene will have to take place even later, either ch11 or ch12
7. 9/20/23: do the hard/soft taco thing when they go to the taco shop that Olivien later works at when he's older
8. 9/27/23: chapters 11, 12, and 13 were outlined on this day
9. 9/27/23: have Jia be in the scene where Ledas and Vegeta are sparring; she is hanging out with Bulma, and the two appear to be friends
10. 10/8/23: I searched kasha (I was looking for that Jewish food mentioned on Seinfeld often) on jisho and found the word kashababa meaning 'evil old hag', a serendipitous moment; the old lady's name is also a reference to Baba O'Riley
11. 10/9/23: at the end of the test in the third scene, have Ryori massaging his wrist, saying that Ledas owes him for writing two essays in the allotted time
12. 10/10/23: during the montage scene after the last in-class scene, include a part where Ledas and Ryori and Tabashi are at Temoto's auto shop and Ledas accidentally gets oil on his face or something
13. 10/10/23: show the "Sandboys" scene of Roshi running into Ledas from Ledas' pov, including an interaction with Anraku + showing Ledas' private room; 10/11/23 update: impossible, as "Sandboys" takes place in Age 776; have the Guac scene not feature Roshi, but still occur
14. 10/10/23: show the Saibamen friendly with Jia by the end of WCS
15. 10/10/23: surfing scene was its own scene until today
16. 10/10/23: decided to put the Yajirobe/Korin scene in a montage with a number of other scenes instead of being its own scene
17. 10/11/23: in the scene with Temoto, have him praise Ryori and the others for being a good influence on his nephew; in the same scene, have Hachi be wary of Chiaki's moves on his sister, with Ryori noting that they're probably not going to stay together long anyways, which eases Hachi's mind
18. 10/11/23: during the Jia/Ryori/Ledas scene at their house, have a brief conversation about commercials and not consenting to be advertised to
19. 10/14/23: three stooges scene used is the third one in this compilation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PIPDr3yvrY
20. 10/20/23: a poofesure reference in the Chiaki/Chiwan date scene ---> "come on my face"
21. 10/20/23: during the Ledas/Vegeta training scene, have Ledas showcase a new technique he will use in the Emperor Kuriza Saga
22. 10/20/23: have a passerby make a Leeds United comment after someone calls Ledas by that nickname in the taco/vegan scene
23. 10/21/23: before Vegeta goes SS3, he says they need to go outside so he doesn't destroy the training room
24. 10/25/23: Terco Bobo Jalisco; terco means stubborn
25. 10/25/23: "it's not food, it's violence"; have them put duct tape over their mouths ---> influence via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gkx8UE4BML8
26. 10/26/23: the name of the vegan sign that the beta male uses to hit Azashi with I got from google images
27. 10/26/23: the taco truck owner's dialogue is from Tai Kaliso
My notes for the second draft of chapter 12 are as follows:
1. 1/7/24: there needs to be slightly more dialogue between Ryori and Ledas about the old woman burning
2. 1/7/24: Cardinal will not wake up; Furry tells Nhobusa and Jia that they will continue in their regular positions; Furry mentions that the NRRA is not to touch Goku and his friend ever again or lose funding; Nhobusa mentions that the entire NRRA is just the two of them + like 5 others at most; after everyone leaves, Jia pulls the plug on Cardinal, killing him
3. 1/7/24: the three stooges episode wouldn't come back on so quick - find a different ending to the fourth scene
I began writing chapter 12 on October 6, 2023. I edited the first scene a lot as I was writing it, which is unusual for me. The scenes were written in order, except that I wrote the opening part of scene 5 (the first time the kids to go the Terco Bobo taco truck) before writing scene 4. The first draft was finished on October 26^th. The writing went pretty quickly for this one, although I took days off here and there. On October 28^th, I added in Ryori's internal monologue during the third scene but otherwise did not edit the chapter again until the official editing phase began. I began the second draft on May 19, 2024 (don't remember why I skipped May 18^th). I second-drafted every scene except for the second scene, coming back to that one at the end because it required extensive changes now that Cardinal was going to die. It became a much longer scene, too (the first draft was 389 words, while the final draft was 711). For

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