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This page, The KidVegeta Anthology/Deleted Stories, is property of KidVegeta. |
These are stories which I ultimately abandoned. While I usually like to finish what I start, there have been a small amount of stories that I just never got around to finishing. This is usually because I lose interest in writing about the specific story and I don't feel like what exists of it already is of high enough quality to save. Almost all of these stories were created close to when I first joined the wiki.
All below stories were either reborn in future stories or streamlined away in the editing process (seen with the two TF specials) aside from Cooler: Elder Brother and The Ballad of Dango part 2 (which was fully written but was too inappropriate to post on this site). Cooler: Elder Brother is the only one of my truly deleted stories whose plot concept has not been redone in another story.
DBZ The Forgotten: Just Another Day...[]
Just Another Day was going to be a Special in Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten showcasing what The Plaintains do on an average mission. I felt like that needed to be explained at the time. I vividly remember writing this story, more so than any of my other deleted stories. I was in Maryland at the time, staying with my aunt and uncle. My laptop had internet, but it was slow and borderline unusable. I was listening to a lot of Two Steps From Hell at the time as well. To entertain myself, I wrote this special. This special was the the most completed out of any of my deleted stories. I finished roughly 50% of it. It's the only one of my deleted stories which I wrote more than a chapter for - in fact, I wrote two and a half chapters of it.
The plot was that the Plantains (Banas, Payar, Lieme, Meloon, and Ledas) would go to a planet to clear it for resale on the galactic market. They would find it already destroyed and confront a monster and fight it. The plot is very much like a DBZ movie plot. The random enemy, the lack of plot, it was all so in-line with the official movies. The story opened with Cooler and a team conquering the planet the alien would be found on. This first part was rather weird, and re-reading it to write this commentary left me quite confused. I suppose what I wrote points to Cooler being in control of whatever monster this is, which means he's just testing the Plantains for no reason at all. It's not a particularly strong plot, I'll admit.
I hit a wall with this story. As I wrote it at my aunt's house in Maryland, I realized I had no plans for what the actual monster was going to be. In my mind, the vague idea of a serpentine dragon was what I considered the alien to be, but I never was happy with that, and I wasn't able to find a better concept. When I got to the point where I had to introduce him properly, I just couldn't. And that's when I realized the story had to be deleted.
As well, the notion that this special was largely irrelevant also played a factor in me deleting it. It's basically plotless, just building up to a fight with an unknown alien. It's like a DBZ movie. And I didn't want to write something as pointless as that. The TF specials were to be for the origins of important characters, and as such, this no longer fit in. I had to get rid of it. It somewhat saddened me to get rid of this story, since I had completed so much of it, but I don't regret it now. Unlike some of my other deleted stories, this one really had no redeeming qualities to it.
Dragon Ball: Breaking of Silence[]
Breaking of Silence was going to be my story about Vegeta's life from the Genocide of the Saiyans to him going to Earth. I wrote about half a chapter before abandoning it. It was supposed to be a companion piece to Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten, showing how Ledas' and Vegeta's lives after they were separated went. I don't remember exactly why I abandoned this project; I guess I was just bored with it and more interested in other projects. I deleted it after realizing I wasn't going to write any more for it.
BoS was reborn in several stories. Strength is basically a retelling of the first chapter that I wrote in BoS, though I think it is significantly better than what I wrote in BoS. In BoS, I employed an active narrator, where I interacted with the reader as well as described the scenes. I believe this was influenced by Dragon Ball IP, a deleted story by Destructivedisk. I haven't used that narrative technique since (and I don't plan to). As well in Strength, BoS is reborn in His Majesty's Pet. This story will be very carefully made. Kid Vegeta is my favorite character, so I try to be careful and use my fullest skill when writing about him. Being unsatisfied with the quality of BoS was a factor in me deleting it as well as me not being interested in it anymore. HMP contains many chapter names which are the same as from BoS. I copy-and-pasted from my deleted story. Much of the plot between the two will be the same. As to why I created a new page instead of restoring BoS and using that, I feel like His Majesty's Pet is a better name than Dragon Ball: Breaking of Silence. It's just a product of my literary maturity, I suppose. But BoS is by no means dead. Though the original page is gone, the story of Vegeta will be told in HMP, and it will be much the same as I originally planned it in BoS.
A Million To One (Legacies Episode)[]
This was a Dragon Ball: Legacies stories which I never wrote. It was one I was planning on writing just before the Legacies project fell apart. I'm not quite sure why I made the page for this story, for I had not finished Into The Howling Dark yet. Still, I created the page, so it makes this story slightly different from the dozens of Legacies chapters I never wrote and never made pages for.
This was going to be about how Raditz was found by Vegeta. Raditz' survival defies logic in the grand Dragon Ball plot. Frieza killed everyone except for Vegeta (he liked Vegeta, yo). Nappa was Vegeta's training instructor, so that explains why he survived. Raditz is a random, weak, low-class Saiyan who survived. It didn't make sense, so I felt like it needed a story to explain it. As mentioned before, I never wrote a word of this. After the Legacies project died and I realized that I wasn't going to write any more for it, I deleted this page.
This story is technically reborn in His Majesty's Pet, where finding Raditz takes up an entire chapter of that story. It's somewhat similar to AMTO, but it does not feature Cui in any way. I didn't plan out AMTO's plot too much. I just wanted Cui and Zarbon and Dodoria and Vegeta and Nappa to be in it. I was planning on improvising when writing the story. Thus, I don't have many memories about this one. Since I never planned a plot, I don't have much else to say about it. Raditz' survival in His Majesty's Pet will likely not be similar to how AMTO would have been.
Into The Howling Dark (Legacies Episode)[]
This was an interesting story. I think this story really defines the Dragon Ball: Legacies project as a whole. I wrote part 1, but not part 2. I just lost interest in it by the time of part 2, as is the case with many of my deleted stories.
The plot was about a Saiyan royal family (far before the modern Saiyans were born) and their lives. The prince was captured by a nomad along with his sister, and the nomad then brutally killed the prince by cutting him open and eating his organs while he still was alive. That was all of part 1.
This was influenced by a gore movie I saw (I am not sure if it was real or fake) where a group of people captured two women on the streets, cut them open, and then licked their organs, such as their intestines. I was shocked by seeing that and I had to put it in the story. My eventual goal was to have the girl, the princess, ascend into a Super Saiyan in Great Ape, thus putting a twist on the Legendary Super Saiyan legend. It was going to be that a girl was the last Super Saiyan before Goku. She was going to be Super Saiyan 4 as well, for she would learn how to control her Great Ape Super Saiyan form. Of course, it would end with her destroying her planet and killing her and everyone else.
This story was interesting in how dark it was. The prince dying is a huge twist, but it's also morbid and graphic, something not common on the wiki at the time. His sister becoming the Legendary Super Saiyan is also a plot twist which is really cool. Overall, this story was really unique and original, but I just lost interest in it. I remember coming up with most of the dialogue with the nomad while in my spa. However, after I wrote all of it down, my desire to continue the story evaporated. I deleted the story some time after, when I was sure I would never continue it.
However, I did include the important plot points in other stories. The prince's death turned into Brian's graphic, compelling death in Spindlerun: The Tale of Yajirobe. I consider that one of the finest scenes in that story, and it was wholly a regurgitation of what happened in this one. Additionally, having a female be the last Super Saiyan is something I also used in my Saiyans history. I specifically did that because of this story. I briefly considered retelling this story with the female Super Saiyan, but ultimately decided on putting it in the history, as I didn't want to lose interest in it again.
My use of Super Saiyan 4 in this story is the only time I've used the GT transformation in a serious story of mine. I've always liked SS4. It's the only decent thing to come from GT. But it can't be canon, obviously, so had I written this story, it would not have been canon to my universe.
Our Brotherhood (The Forgotten Special)[]
This was going to be a Special in Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten. It was going to explain the rivalry of Guva and Banas, as well as show why Guva won control of Planet Cooler 092.
I created this special in November 2010, about two months after I joined the wiki. At this point, I was still working on TF, and I hadn't really decided where Guva's and Banas' characters were going. This special was going to specifically showcase the trials of Guva and Banas on a Cooler planet, where they and other elite soldiers were competing to win the governorship of Planet Cooler 92. A drill instructor was going to lead the aliens through tests and trials to see who was most suited for ruling Planet 92.
I never wrote any of the story. Naming the chapters and putting up a short poem at the start (as was customary with every TF saga and special) was as far as I got. Even as I wrote and progressed through TF, I never turned to this story and began writing it. Never even in Microsoft Word, off of the wiki, did I write a word of Our Brotherhood.
This was mainly because it's difficult to write trials for the aliens and make it interesting at the same time. While there were aspects of the story I wanted to tell really bad (such as Guva and Banas' being friends at the start, being shocked that they were picked to compete for the same planet, and becoming enemies at the end), it just wasn't possible to write out. The main plot was fighting for the governorship, and I found that I wasn't willing to write out those trials, for it seemed like it would be close to a game show. And that didn't interest me.
Shortly before I deleted this story, I retooled it to be the Verlate special. At that point, Verlate was still a male, and Our Brotherhood was going to be about him. I deleted Our Brotherhood shortly after making that change, however, for I then changed Verlate into a female and made an all new page for her special. Our Brotherhood was no longer needed. I didn't want to write it, so there was no point in keeping the page.
Additionally, it was around this time that I decided the TF specials should be of great importance. They should not just be random missions and whatnot. The Benefactor's origins and Verlate's origins were important to the overall plot. Banas' and Guva's friendship turned hatred was somewhat important, but neither character was ultimately important by the time this was decided. The plot of TF had shifted to Earth, and the aliens of PC92 were no longer narratively the focus, so this special didn't matter. I also felt like Banas and Guva had enough dialogue together in the various TF sagas they were in where their relationship could be seen. The fleeting memories of their old friendship could also be seen, so this special wasn't needed like the TB and Verlate ones were. Their characters were tied to their origins in a way that Guva and Banas were not.
Cooler: Elder Brother[]
This was written on my Brady Patrick account. Notably, I began this story before I decided to make Brady Patrick stories only start with the letter 'S'. I wrote one chapter out of four for this story in total, and it was quite a long chapter. So I had actually completed a significant portion of this short story when I decided to delete it.
Plotwise, this story was about how King Cold favored Frieza and how Cooler dealt with it. It's a novel story idea, just not one that I felt like writing after I completed the first chapter. It would have worked better as a one shot, in my opinion. I think I was influenced heavily by Destructivedisk's criticism of this story, when he told me I was just projecting my own situation with my brother and father into the Dragon Ball world. At the time, I agreed with him and deleted the story because of it.
Elder Brother's style is very much like In Requiem's and I think it's a clear point where my writing style evolved into a more flowery, elegant style. The story focused on Cooler's family taking over the castle of the previous king, killing the royal family, and then setting themselves up as the new royal family. Cooler is hurt by the queen when he helps, and King Cold beats his son for being bled by an old woman. Cooler feels more and more dejected as Cold trains with his sons and favors Frieza throughout. At the end of the chapter, Cooler decides to leave his family and forge his own destiny.
I think the themes of dejection, loneliness, and emotional isolation are really cool, especially in this setting. It was a rather unique and original story idea. It just didn't work for a couple of reasons. For one, it contradicted my other story about Cold's origins Ground Up. Admittedly, Ground Up is a worse story, narratively, than Elder Brother. It's just that Destructivedisk not thinking too highly of this story made me feel nothing for it anymore. I'm sure that had he not said he disliked Elder Brother, I would have finished it. Looking at Elder Brother now, I could see myself writing a one-shot about Cooler's dejection in relation to Frieza. It's canon fact (as Cooler says so himself in Movie 5) that Frieza was treated better by his parents. So there is something there, some theme and story idea that is thus untapped. I get into it a bit with Scelerat, but it's not really the same. Perhaps I'll end up writing a spiritual successor to this story someday, as it had quite a bit of potential.
Bitterly Bothered Brother (Dragon Ball What If...)[]
I originally planned on writing a story about "What if Cooler killed his brother, father, Goku, and the rest of the Z Fighters?" using the Brady Patrick account. It was going to be a part of ExtremeSSJ4's 'What If' project. I ended up writing a small portion of the first part of it (before Cooler confronted anyone), though I lost interest in it rather quickly. I eventually deleted this story, maintaining the Brady Patrick distinction of only having story names starting with the letter 'S'. At the time, I often found writing for Frieza's family to be difficult and tiresome, and I just couldn't finish this story at that point in my life.
Of course, I eventually came back to this story with my KidVegeta account, and wrote it as a five chapter short story. Originally, it was going to be one part. I feel like my time away from this story made it significantly better than it would have been should I have posted it as Brady Patrick. Luckily, I grew bored of it when I first started it, allowing me time to grow my writing skills before coming back to it. This is the only one of my stories that I kept the same name in both the deleted and published versions.
Dragon Ball Z: Omniverse Quest[]
This story is different from my other deleted stories in that I never did anything for it. I never planned a plot, wrote any dialogue or scene direction, and I had no involvement with the other users in brainstorming ideas. OQ was a wiki-wide collaborative roleplay where everyone's universes come together to fight off some evil. I wanted to add Ledas and River Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation. Other users began writing the story, including a few lines of dialogue for Ledas. I did not like this. I don't want other people writing for my characters. They are my characters, and I only feel comfortable if I'm the one writing for them (general exceptions given to very good writers). Anyway, I was somewhat maddened by the other users just using Ledas however they wanted in the story, having him talk and attack at their whim.
The rest of OQ was really poorly written, especially the stuff involving Lise. Invariably, when you have a collaboration, many bad writers will be involved. Lise was one of these, and her character's involvement, which suddenly turned her into an extremely important character, was just too much for me to take. The constant spelling errors, terrible dialogue, and insane plot was not something I wanted to be associated with. So I deleted my property tag (even though, as mentioned before, I didn't contribute anything to the page) and then deleted all mentions of Ledas within the text. So I removed my involvement from the story at that point. I don't really consider this a "deleted story" per se, but this is the best place to tell of my involvement with it.
To Kill An Empire[]
This was going to be a special, or movie in The Last Saiyan, which focused more on Sciaon Malbarion's conquest of the world. Hyper Zergling's descendants of Cuber were going to be the protagonists. I remember the main male was going to be named Banli. Like with much of Hyper Zergling's fanon, he planned on referencing his family, so Banli would have brothers like HZ's. I don't remember their names, though. This only came about because HZ's universe is in line with my own, as a result of Dragon Ball: Cold Vengeance. He had already planned having Banli's adventures occur around the time of TLS. So this was just going to be another bridge between our universes.
The first problem was that my story was called The Last Saiyan. Banli and his brothers would have Saiyan blood if I included him. Additionally, HZ did not want to make them humans. He would rather delete them altogether. Because of this, I decided to remove his characters from the special, though I did not delete it quite yet. I left Banli's story in HZ's hands, should he ever want to tell it; but I did not want to, if Banli was going to be part Saiyan. HZ eventually abandoned Banli's story on his own accord, because he decided to kill Banli's ancestor, Skall, before he could father any children and thus produce Banli's bloodline.
I then replaced Banli's characters with a few of my own; and they ended up being martial artists training under Master Roshi. Eventually, I deleted this story, as I felt I could include those characters in TLS without needing a special. As I decided to focus more on multi-perspective storytelling in Act II and on in TLS, this allowed me to tell Sciaon Malbarion's and Master Roshi's tales within the actual story. Thus, TKAE was no longer needed. Essentially what was going to be told in this story is going to be told in TLS, specifically in Acts II, III, and IV. So while I deleted the page for this story, I kept the actual story in the larger TLS narrative.
Dragon Ball: Short Story Project[]
The Ballad of Dango part 2[]
After the success that was The Ballad of Dango, Destructivedisk and I decided to write a sequel. We got drunk again and wrote on a google document similarly to how we wrote The Ballad of Dango. Since I was drunk, I don't remember much of the writing process. We wrote it on the evening of June 30, 2015. After we finished it, however, we didn't publish it. I don't remember why exactly. I think Destructivedisk might've gone to bed, but I'm not entirely sure. Suffice to say, in the following days, the two of us discussed Dango 2 only a few times. As neither of us had read it, we were unsure if it was funny and good and worthy of putting on this site. I think Destructivedisk read it back over a few days later and then confirmed that this story was way too graphic to put on this site. I think I read it sometime in early August and agreed. I was a bit sad that we couldn't post it here, but it truly is way too sexual even for our most ridiculous satires. As a consequence of not posting this story, however, Destructivedisk and I resolved to write a replacement story, which turned out to be Zarbon and Dodoria: A Love Story. More info on the writing process for that story can be found on its anthology page. This story is unlike most of my other deleted stories in that it actually exists. It's a complete story. It's just too inappropriate to post on this site. If anyone is curious, you can read Dango part 2 here and see why we couldn't post it on the wiki. I still think it's a pretty funny story. This entire story came about because Toriyama revealed in a recent interview that Videl's mother's name is Miguel (yes, really). That is a new low for Toriyama, though it is perhaps forgivable since he's Japanese and doesn't understand that Miguel is a man's name in the English/Spanish world. Still, though, for a man of his stature and power, to name a woman Miguel is unbelievable. That is how the story of Roshi's new hottie, Ramón, came about. Anyways, that's all I have to say about this story.
The Last Saiyan[]
- Main article: The KidVegeta Anthology/Deleted Stories/The Last Saiyan
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