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This page, The KidVegeta Anthology/Community Roleplays/Vacation, is property of KidVegeta.

This article, The KidVegeta Anthology/Community Roleplays/Vacation, is the property of Dedmnwalkn88‎.

This article, The KidVegeta Anthology/Community Roleplays/Vacation, is the property of WaffleMinifigure.


This story came out of nowhere. Like a few of the other roleplays, I was not expecting to write this until I was asked to join by WaffleMinifigure and Dedmnwalkn88‎. I was actually going to join a different roleplay by Dedmnwalkn88‎, but Vacation served as a "test" to get Dedmnwalkn88‎ acclimated to writing for the Dragon Ball universe; it also helped WaffleMinifigure and me get a clearer idea of what we were going to do in the "real" roleplay later.

I joined this roleplay mostly because I liked Dedmnwalkn88‎'s character Miki. This was, I believe, the first roleplay I joined with no intent on getting any roleplay achievements. And by "like", I mean that Miki's page was well-written in comparison to other character pages on this wiki. That gave me hope that a roleplay with Dedmnwalkn88‎ would be pretty rad. A few other people, like Gozon and Nimbus.69, joined as well, but only Waffle, Dedmn, and myself participated in this test roleplay because we signed up first. WaffleMinifigure named it, and Dedmnwalkn88‎ began it.

As for the characters, Dedmnwalkn88‎ obviously used Miki because that was his first (and, at the time, only) character. WaffleMinifigure first created a character named Lamian to use, but ultimately didn't use him in the test roleplay. At first, I didn't know who I was going to use, because Waffle hinted at using a Planet Trade Organization character. I considered Icer before I heard Waffle state that. I didn't want to have two PTO leaders vying for power in this story. If Waffle would have used a big PTO baddie, I had a few other characters lined up for me to use. These included Majin Sesami, Ledas, Leo, a new Namekian, or a new alien space pirate based off of one of my fanon species. Talking it over with Waffle a bit more, I was convinced to use my character Icer, as he decided to make a second character named Rowa for this test roleplay who would be a subordinate to Icer.

Now Icer is one of my favorite characters in The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization. He's the youngest brother of King Cold and one of the few members of the royal family to survive the entire story (spoilers!). He does so by turning into a space pirate. I plan on using him in the upcoming story of mine (featuring Bulla as the heroine) called Dragon Ball: Heart of the Dragon, though he will only be a secondary villain in comparison to his older brother Arcterial. I had concerns early on that by using Icer in this story, I would spoil a bit of his story arc in my PTO story (the reveal that he is actually the Aphotic Prince who plagues the PTO as early as the first volume), but in the end, I decided to just go with it. My reason was that I doubt many people would read Vacation and even fewer would read both that and my PTO story. As well, this meant I could be true to Icer's character. I didn't have to make him fake for this roleplay just to prevent spoilers. This also allowed me to explore Icer's character in more depth than I had anticipated, so early on.

I spent a lot of time creating Icer's page. I wanted to show his complex personality and backstory to help Dedmnwalkn88 understand who he was better. Also, I originally bought Dragon Ball: Xenoverse for Xbox One simply to take screenshots of Icer; I did this after realizing in a conversation with Waffle that Xenoverse had a character creator for Frieza's race. This was a big deal to me, so I bought the game and made Icer in it. I eventually played through the game, which allowed me to unlock the armor that Icer is currently wearing, though he wasn't wearing it at the time of writing Vacation.

I spent a lot of time writing each of my sections in this story because I wanted it to be of high quality, compared to the other roleplays. This is also because we were writing a prose roleplay as opposed to all of the other drama format roleplays on this site. Using prose made it feel like an actual story, and I wanted to treat it as such. While writing, the three of us were mostly on the DBF chat discussing the plot and the order of who would write when. Gozon tried to join this roleplay at one point, and I thought he should be allowed to, until Dedmnwalkn88 stated that Gozon should join only when the test roleplay was done. That gave us an impetus to push through this story and move onto the real roleplay between us all that included Gozon. Overall, I don't have many memories of writing this roleplay because it was done so quickly and I only contributed five times, but I do think it was a better writing experience for me than the other roleplays I participated in because Dedmnwalkn88 and WaffleMinifigure are two of the better writers on this site. We didn't have any bad writers, and there weren't (too many) bad things about this roleplay because of that. This roleplay has a very "lean" feel to it. No bad writers, no filler, no rambling on. It's a short and straight-to-the-point, which is part of its charm - but that is also the main reason for this roleplay's biggest problem, which I will discuss in the endnotes below.


Story[]

The scenes that I wrote are in bold.

Miki's feet touched down on the unknown planet's rocky surface, knocking up fine particles of dust as she landed. The surrounding area was mostly bare rock, the crimson colored stone stretching for miles in every direction. Dozens of tall rock structures dotted the terrain, some of them resembling small mountains. This planet was new to Miki, but she was hardly impressed with it thus far. Miki could sense pockets of energy dotting the planet, none of them emitting any notable power. With little to do, Miki began walking forward, no specific destination in mind. Though the planet seemed to be little more than rock and dust, Miki always made a point of searching each planet she visited. It would be a shame to miss anything useful after all.

Roughly an hour of walking had brought Miki to a small creek nestled in a crevice between two of the mountains. A quick inspection indicated nothing potent in the water. Still, Miki was cautious. She took only a small amount of water in her hand and lifted it her her mouth. Several minutes passed since Miki had taken the small sip of water, and she remained in perfect heath. Now confident the water was not toxic, Miki bent down and took several long gulps from the stream. The cool water felt good on her skin, as the planet was notably warm with little moisture in the air. Miki didn't mind the dry climate as long as water was provided. She actually hated it when the air was humid, always causing her perfect silver hair to misbehave.

"Not bad." Miki stated out loud, splashing water one her face and over her chest. "This is like the kind of place I'd like to vacat-" Miki stopped mid sentence, as several massive power level suddenly came into range. Miki cursed under her breath as she slowly lifted off the ground. "And there goes my damn relaxation."

Miki shot upward, an aura of silver energy leaving a long tail behind her as she flew. Miki had been hoping to get a break on this planet, having spent her time on the last planet performing some of the most intense training she had endured in recent years. At the beginning of her training, being faced with a high power level, Miki's first reaction would be to hide and hope she wasn't noticed. Now she had learned how naive that tactic was. When there were two unusually high power levels on the same planet, it was almost inevitable they would meet in combat. A simple fact Miki had learned to accept.


The silver pod crashed down onto the dusty rock called a planet, and a female alien as red as the stone emerged from it. Another crashed down close by, but the second was new and undamaged, unlike Rowa's pod, which had seen dozens of combat encounters.

"What is this, number 97?" Rowa asked her subordinate. She ignored his response as she noticed a large power level picked up on her scouter. "Salmo, get off your ass and follow me!" She noted her subordinate's power level of a mere 2,000, and mentally arranged for the next people to be "promoted" to away team. She tapped the button on her scouter and spoke, "Apraco, tell Lord Icer I'll be delayed for a small while, and get me a list of crew members that have failed to meet combat standards."

Like a person would stand up, Rowa rose from the ground and flew towards the power level. Her fishlike ally followed, barely keeping up to the anxious captain. "Finally, something to fight." Rowa mused to herself as her ki inflamed


Within a few minutes of taking off in pursuit of the high power level, Miki began sensing that the high energy level was also approaching her. A smirk corssing her face, Miki began descending, slowing her pace as she approached the top of a rocky plateau below. Miki landed with her legs crossed, facing the direction the high energy level was approaching form.

"No point in wasting energy if your going to come to me." Miki said to herself. "It's your funeral."


Rowa finally met the being with the high power level. A female Saiyan, or at least, close enough to one. She tapped the button on her scouter and spoke to Salmo, "Delta Beta maneuver," she pressed another button and spoke to the Scylla, "Phi protocol, on my mark." The Phi protocol was how Rowa, well, the PTO in general, reacted to doubt.

Salmo nodded and began to gain speed as they approached the high powered woman. Rowa began to slow, charging an attack in her left hand with her right hand ready for anything. Salmo, instead of stopping, continued gaining speed, and aimed his soon-to-be corpse at the woman's abdomen. At the same moment as Salmo would have hit the woman, Rowa fired the charged blast at the female.


The attack had worked to perfection. The devastating impact of the double team assault shattered the plateau, reducing the once tall standing structure to rubble. The resulting explosion sent shards of stone flying in all directions, some of which harmlessly bounced of Rowa's body. Clouds of dust lingered in the air, obscuring the view of the carnage before Rowa, but there was of course no way one could have survived such an attack.

"That was pretty rude." Rowa heard a young female voice proclaim from behind. "Not even a 'hello' before you attack?"


Rowa's ki grew as a fire would if a full litter of Space-badgers had been thrown into it. "Oh, stardamn it, you're one of those power level hiders, aren'tcha?" Rowa was angry, not because of Salmo's death, or that the female was more powerful than she thought, it was that Rowa fell for it, Rowa, captain of her own ship, and a high-ranking member of the new Planet Trade Organization, fell for a simple trick.

But Rowa smirked, and a small laugh exited her mouth. "Oh, now why am I angry about that? You'll be dead in a moment." Rowa fired a barrage of ki blasts, and as they would of connected, Rowa moved to in front of the girl, and punched her in the face.


Rowa's punch knocked Miki back as the Ki blasts flew towards her. Much to Rowa's surprise, Miki recovered from the strike rather quickly, regaining her vertical base and deflecting each of the Ki blasts with a single hand. Several of the blasts flew back in Rowa's direction, but none made contact as they missed her by mere inches.

"That's some fancy armor you got there." Miki said, observing Rowa's protective attire. "You wouldn't happen to be part of some fancy group or something around here would you?"


"Are you blind or something? This is the uniform of the Planet Trade Organization. In other words, it's designed to help me kick your ass, though I wouldn't need it to defeat a whelp like you." Rowa smirked. She used her left hand to slap back a small ki blast in Miki's direction.

"Now die." Rowa raised her right hand and fired a point-blank vermillion ki wave.


Rowa's blast created a blinding ray of light, visible for miles. The red rocks beneath the two warriors began to shake form the sheer power of the attack. Surely Rowa's adversary had been vaporized by the attack.

"Well that stung a little." Miki's voice said as the light began to fade. Miki was floating upright, her arms blocking her face and smoke steaming off her body. "I knew you were with those thugs from the Trade Organization. Same group Frieza was with. Speaking of which..." Miki pointed a single finger in Rowa's direction. "...you may recognize this one."

A small glimmer of energy formed on the tip of Miki's finger, the deep blue energy emitting a faint humming sound. Rowa would immediately recognize this technique as the infamous Death Beam, the staple of her leader's powerful force. The concentrated beam of energy shot form Miki's finger and sped towards Rowa's abdomen, threatening to punch a hole through her body in mere milliseconds.


Rowa barely dodged, after the Death Beam was fired. It managed to skim across her arm, and she gritted her teeth in pain. Miki seemed able to dodge, or simply absorb, most of Rowa's attacks. This was a battle Rowa would not win, at least alone.

She slammed the button on her scouter, and spoke a command. "Mark." and with that, the Charybdis soared into view.


Rowa had always had a flair for the dramatic, Icer mused. He sipped his ice wine and watched from behind a heavy glass window as the Charybdis roared into the planet's atmosphere. Icer's pilots maneuvered the ship down to the surface, where the power level fluctuations were coming from. After some time, Icer spotted two small dots in the far-off desert wastes, moving and shooting ki amongst crimson rock. Icer swallowed the last of his wine and flung off his dark cloak as the ship drew closer to them. Now he could see them properly. With a simple raise of his hand, Icer stopped the ship from getting any closer.

"Return to orbit. I don't want the Charybdis getting caught in the cross-fire," he said tersely, cracking his neck and stretching his leg muscles. "If our foe manages to escape us, pursue them and destroy them."

Yes sir!" one of the pilots squeaked, though Icer scant heard him.

(Cue Quarantine)

Icer pressed a button on the wall, and the window collapsed and opened, and he was outside. The planet was warmer than Icer had hoped, and he grit his teeth as he flew towards the power levels. This planet is a worthless wasteland. Best deal with Rowa's quarry and vaporize the planet as quickly as possible. The faster we're gone, the better.

He landed with a soft thud, which started both Rowa and her opponent. The two of them stopped what they were doing and stared at Icer. Unperturbed, the space pirate moved forward to Rowa and helped her to her feet. "On your feet, soldier."

"Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!"

Icer bit his lip and moved his eyes to the one who had attacked Rowa. She was also female, bipedal, but she looked nothing like any alien Icer had ever seen. Her skin was pale, her frame thin, her hair wild and dark. His eyes did not blink as he stared back into hers.

"You have a high power level. What are you doing out here?"

"That's none of your business!" the alien shouted back.

"Very well," Icer replied, "I was going to offer you a place on my ship as part of my crew, but that insolent tone of yours..."

Icer's voice trailed off as he suddenly conjured up two bright green energy beams in either hand and shot them at the female alien. She dodged the attack coming at her from the right, but the left beam clipped her in the leg, causing her to fall to the ground and cry out in pain. She looked up at the space pirate, aghast and enraged at the swift attack.

That almost made Icer smile.


Miki cupped her leg where the blast had struck, staring back at Icer with hateful eyes. Not doubt about it. The armor-like torso, the bright patches of color, the spiked horns, this creature highly resembled Frieza. Miki couldn't help but recall all the terrible things she had suffered at the hands of the brute. For months, if not longer, she was brutally beaten to the brink of death, only to be healed and thrust back at Frieza to again be beaten. But that was the old her, softened by years of peaceful existence. Since then, life had hardened her, turned her into a weapon. It had been years since she had seen a member of Frieza's Race, not since that fateful day Frieza himself had left her for dead. She was denied justice once when Frieza was killed by another warrior, she would not let that happen again.

Miki's grimace shifted into a smirk, as she quickly disappeared from Icer's view. In what seemed like an instantaneous transportation, Miki appeared above Icer. Not allowing her target time to react, Miki rapidly descended, attempting to driver her foot into the top of Icer's cranium.


Her foot hit Icer in the head so forcefully and unexpectedly that he was in the dust before he knew it. He sat back, his teeth bared, and shoved the alien off of him.

"Fool! This would have been over so quickly. Now you only prolong your suffering!"

Icer shot up and fired a barrage of blue ki at his foe, causing her to run for cover. Explosion after explosion formed across the ground until dust and smoke covered everything. There was no sign of his quarry, but Icer caught a hint of her on his scouter. Knowing she survived his attack brought fury through Icer's veins and he began forming another ball of ki in his hands.

Over his scouter, Icer opened a channel with Rowa. "Return to your ship, Captain. There is no more reason for you to be here", he stated, the ki ball growing larger and larger in his hands. It was green and black, and electricity danced across its surface. The glow of the ki reflected in Icer's eyes. "Now, it's about to get hot. Time to destroy the planet!"

Suddenly, the girl came shooting out of the smoke and hit Icer on the chin, causing his blast to dissipate. Before the space pirate could tell, she had flipped him over and was beating down on him with all her strength. She's persistent, I'll give her that. Icer anticipated her next punch and then teleported out of its way. Finding himself behind his foe, Icer lunged forward with a scream and his fists up.


Miki turned just in time to meet Icer's wild punch. The blow struck Miki's cheek, but her body did not budge, her neck only twisting slightly from the impact. Not giving Icer time to react, Miki grabbed her adversary by the wrist, preventing him from creating any distance between the two of them.

"I take it you're familiar with Frieza," Miki stated coldly to Icer. "That piece of trash took my family from me. I plant to repay what he did ten times over."

Maintaining her grip on Icer's wrist, Miki picked the member of Frieza's kin up over her head, throwing him own towards the ground with all her might. As Miki expected, Icer was able to regain his composure before smashing into the ground, but when Icer looked back at Miki, he immediately noticed the concentrated energy forming at her finger tip.

"I believe you know this one, the infamous Death Beam. A favorite of your kind if I'm not mistaking." Miki almost sounded like she was taunting Icer with her words, the way she playfully spoke as she aimed her attack. Without even moving a muscle, Miki fired her Death Beam in Icer's direction, the powerful beam aimed at his heart.


Icer formed a finger beam of his own, and just before Miki's attack reached him, he shot the green energy towards her's. The two collided and exploded in the air.

"I am familiar with Frieza," said Icer coolly. "My nephew was a spoiled brat. An arrogant little cretin not worthy of running the Planet Trade Organization. I would have killed him myself if not for that Saiyan on Earth. But enough talk. Let's finish this!"

Icer roared and his aura sprung up around him like shimmering coat. The space pirate sprung forward at his foe, and just before he created her, disappeared and reappeared behind her. Swiftly, Icer punched her in the back, sending her flying forward; then, he teleported to where she was heading and tried to kick her, but the alien girl saw what he was trying and blocked the attack. At that point, the two engaged in an exchange of fists so fast that they could not be seen as they teleported around that barren desert, the only sign of them being the sonic booms going off whenever their fists connected.


"Nephew," Miki began as her and Icer continued to throw, block and evade strikes in the furious melee. "So you're the bastard's uncle. This will only make killing you that much more satisfying."

As Miki finished her sentence, she quickly converted one of her fists into an open palm with each finger pointed forward, a small glimmer of concentrated energy at the tip of each one. Miki was attempting to fire Death Beams from all five of her fingers at once, point blank in Icer's face. Though the beams were not charged, they were still capable of doing damage, a quantity over quality attack. Even if Icer blocked, the attack would surly stun him, leaving Miki time for a follow up attack of to seperate herself from her opponent.


Icer put his hands in front of his face to block the attack. When the Death Beams hit him, he was thrown back, stunned. As he traveled through the air, Icer felt himself being hit again over and over until he was thrown to the ground into a shallow crater. Icer created a small explosive wave, pushing his opponent away from him and then stood up.

"Interesting," he said, stretching his jaw where she had kicked him. "You're going to make me use more than 1% of my power. No one has made me do that for a very long time. But enough of this little game. I grow bored of our fight."

Icer created a small red energy ball in the palm of his right hand and then threw it into the sky. The ball quickly grew in size until it was the size of Charybdis. Then, with two fingers directing his attack, Icer conjured up his aura around him, thrust his hand forward, yelled loudly, and the energy ball screamed towards the planet's surface.


"How pathetic," Miki said, just loud enough for Icer to hear as he formed his Death Ball. "You're already going to blow the planet? Do you have such little confidence in your abilities you won't even risk getting your hands dirty? Very well then." In an instant, Miki vanished from Icer's sight, just as his Death Ball began making its way towards the planet beneath them. An instant later, Icer head a voice in his ear. "For the record, I was only using 1% as well."

Before Icer could even turn to attack, Miki delivered a sharp kick to his back, much more powerful than her previous strikes. The surprise attack sent Icer soaring through the air, placing him directly between the planet's surface and his massive attack.


The planet exploded in a brilliant flash of light and fire. Icer's fleet watched silently from space, unmoving. For hours, they tried to hail him on his scouter, but there was no reply. Their long-range scouters picked up no sign of life. Then, suddenly, there was a burst of light inside the Charybdis' cockpit. Icer materialized out of nowhere and sat down on his captain's chair. The pilot's look at him, stunned.

"L-lord Icer, what happened out there?" one of them squeaked.

"I blew up the planet," Icer said simply, gnawing at a fingernail.

"But... but your opponent! The alien-"

"Oh her?" Icer shrugged. "Maybe she's dead, maybe she survived. I don't know. I don't care. Just set a course somewhere, pilot. Somewhere we can plunder."

"Aye aye, captain!" said the other pilot. "I'll message the other ships that we are leaving."

Icer's tail flicked about lazily as he sat on his chair, staring off into the dead of space. He reached up and felt his left ear and winced slightly where it had burned. He flashed his teeth as the pain washed over him. Foolish girl, he thought. It is an ill move to provoke the Aphotic Prince.

"Oh and pilot, get me a new scouter as soon as possible. My last one seems to have had an unfortunate accident." Icer cracked his neck and felt his burned ear again, then sighed and sat back in his chair as the Charybdis started off into hyperspace.


Endnotes[]

  1. I named Icer's ship Charybdis because Waffle named Rowa's ship Scylla. Therefore, the two would have names related to one another.
  2. Waffle's analogy with the space-badgers and the fire is really great.
  3. I think the battle between Miki and Rowa is solid overall. Waffle adds something to the story with his cheeky humor; Dedmn's dialogue is off in certain places; Rowa managing to not be killed with a bit forced; but overall, it was entertaining. I think Rowa got much more character development than Miki in the scenes before Icer's arrival. Miki is mostly a one-trick pony, talking about her hatred of the PTO, whereas Rowa has a much broader emotional range.
  4. Miki externalizes her inner monologues in dialogue, which I find to be rather archaic. I used the standard italicized sections in prose to show Icer's thoughts. I think this separated my sections from the others, allowing me to more naturally show Icer's personality and growth.
  5. I didn't want Icer's ship or any of his soldiers to die in this story. I wanted it to be as clean as possible - just Miki vs Icer - which is why I had them leave as soon as Icer left the ship.
  6. The use of the song Quarantine came to me just before I began writing this section. I thought it worked well with Icer leaving his ship, flying over a desert, and then confronting Miki. As songs are often used to introduce new characters in the DBZ anime, I thought this one worked well flavor-wise as well as just by how it sounds.
  7. I had fun describing Miki as a type of alien Icer had never seen before, since she basically looks like a human.
  8. One thing I find hard about writing roleplays in prose style is doing fight scenes. It's very difficult not to write for Miki. I had to show how she acted and retaliated to Icer to some extent, to allow the fight to be coherent, but I know Dedmn didn't particularly enjoy that.
  9. I wrote my sections for the fight between Icer and Miki having very little idea how strong Miki was in comparison to Icer.
  10. I noticed very early on that Dedmn was godmodding Miki a bit. She was always very arrogant, never really taking any damage or being hit very much (he was very angry when I had Icer's attack hit Miki in my first section, for example). I didn't want to do the same for Icer. I had him get hit by Miki quite a bit. I was not interested in godmodding Icer.
  11. I had Icer want to destroy the planet because he wants to get the fight done with as soon as possible. But seeing as this was only my second section when Icer decided to do this, I also had Miki attack Icer and force his attack to dissipate.
  12. Miki not being damaged whatsoever by Icer's punch (one of the few that hit her at all) after the end of my second section is a great example of the godmodding that Dedmn was doing. Once I saw that I was done with this rp. I knew I would work towards ending it as soon as possible from that point on. I was just tired of the godmodding and wanted to get to the rp where the other users could participate as well.
  13. I specifically had Icer deal damage to Miki in my third section because I knew she wouldn't be damaged otherwise.
  14. I mentioned that Icer didn't even like Frieza because Dedmn had Miki go on and on about it. It's funny because Miki is so against anyone like Frieza, but Icer hates Frieza quite a bit as well. I enjoyed highlighting the absurdity of Miki's xenophobia.
  15. Icer stating he would have killed Frieza if not for Future Trunks is a callback to Cooler saying the same thing in his first movie. That's also why I have Icer say that bit of dialogue "coolly".
  16. I thought it was funny how Dedmn stated that Miki's attack couldn't be blocked in his section - again, goddmodding. I went along with it just because I didn't want to godmod myself.
  17. I had Icer state he was only using 1% of his power because of Dedmn's godmodding. There is certainly a theme going here. By this point in the story, most of my actions through Icer are being done to push back against Miki's godmodding. Having Miki state that she was only using 1% of her power as well was so predictable and so terrible.
  18. Icer saying he doesn't care about Miki is my own thoughts on the matter. I don't find her a particularly compelling character after roleplaying with her in this story.
  19. The soldier saying "Aye aye, captain!" is a reference to the opening sequence in every episode of Spongebob Squarepants.
  20. Dedmn's godmodding in his last section where he has Miki push Icer into his attack was terrible writing. Again, throughout the story, Miki is never damaged Dedmn's own sections. She is only damaged when I write it in my sections. Even then, Miki's damage doesn't seem to carry over to Dedmn's sections, as she is not hurt when he writes for her. I have the damage that Dedmn has Miki give Icer carry over into me sections, such as when she kicks him on his jaw. It also happens here. Despite it being a dick move for Dedmn to have Miki do that to Icer at the end of the story, I didn't try to be a godmodder myself and ignore it. So that's why I had Icer's ear get hurt in this story. Also, this is a reason why this story isn't canon to my universe, since I didn't want that damage to be canon, as it doesn't fit with how his character is in my other stories.
  21. Icer admits that he's the Aphotic Prince in the closing of this story, which is quite a huge spoiler to my PTO story.

Overall, I had decent time writing this story. I thought the fight scenes were decent, and writing a roleplay in prose was fun. Waffle did a good job in the early part of the story, making it interesting with his word choice and humor. The story was basically pure fighting though, which didn't allow much character development for any of the characters. There was a bit for each of the three, but not enough considering the length of the story. That was a necessary bad thing about this story, its greatest error. I think the most compelling stories are those which show character development and growth. This story is mostly an empty, pure-battle kind of thing. It's like a piece of candy in that it gives some superficial pleasure when reading the fights, but it doesn't have a lot of underlying complexity or worth to it. Even with my writing, I didn't have Icer do that much extra, though he does have a bit more complexity and character development than the others. A big con with this story is the godmodding that Dedmn did it particular with Miki. I mostly noticed this in Miki's fight vs Icer, though I think it also occurred with her fight against Rowa now that I think about it. Miki doesn't ever get damaged, doesn't even get hit when Dedmn writes for her. Meanwhile, she damages Icer routinely when Dedmn writes her sections. I will maintain that I was balanced in my sections. I had both Icer and Miki get damaged in mine; Dedmn didn't extend the same courtesy in his writing. I went along with it here so that my character wouldn't be godmodded, but this kind of thing won't happen in the future. Miki will be damaged equally in future roleplays if I'm going to continue to participate. This really annoyed me with Vacation, and considering I don't need to write these roleplays (I have enough other stories as it is), I won't participate in stories that annoy me. I don't have the time and patience for that. So in the upcoming "real" roleplay, I will take an active role in making sure Miki isn't godmodded. But more on that in my anthology of that story. As with all of my community roleplays, I won't be rating this story, though I think my own contributions are pretty good.


<---- Part 157.2

Part 157.4 ---->


The KidVegeta Anthology
1: Were It So Easy2: Ground Up3: So Lonely At The Top4: Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem5: Sixth6: Slaved7: Womanhood8: A Mother's Love9: Derelict10: Dragonball KC11: The Redacted Scenes12: Dragon Ball Z: Cold Vengeance (Original draftFinal draft)13: Spindlerun: The Tale of Yajirobe14: The Anonymous Series15: Speedball16: Second-best17: Strength18: Separator19: Skulk20: Soup21: Scelerat22: Serial23: Slick24: Sovereign25: Dragonball lies in the old hat26: Ode to Dodoria27: Bitterly Bothered Brother28: KidVegeta's Theogony: From Silence to the Greater Kais‎‎29: Dragon Ball Z: The Forgotten (29.1 Prince Vegeta Saga29.2 Outbreak: Paved In Blood29.3 Lauto Saga29.4 Stomping Grounds Saga29.5 Planet Earth Saga29.6 Reunion Saga29.7 Forever Alone29.8 Fulfillment Saga29.9 Characters29.10 Who Are The Forgotten?29.11 Miscellaneous Information)30: Sink to the Bottom31: Bluestreaker32: Lionheart33: From Magic to Monsters34: Tyrant35: Be a Man36: Brave37: Yellow38: Sleep39: Prideful Demons Black40: The Watcher41: The Perfect Lifeform42: Ain't No Hero43: Dragon Ball: The Great War44: Glory45: Monster46: Burning Man47: Bonetown Blues48: Ergo Sum49: Suicide Missionary50: We'll Never Feel Bad Anymore51: Before Creation Comes Destruction52: Midnight City53: A Soundless Dark54: Scourge55: The Ballad of Dango56: Zarbon and Dodoria: A Love Story57: Thank the Eastern Supreme Kai for Girls58: A Shadow on the Wind59: I'm a Candy Man60: Down the Well-Worn Road61: Cool Cat62: Starfall63: Crushing Blue64: Black Dawn65: The Great Sushi-Eating Contest66: The Adventures of Beerus and Whis...IN SPACE!‎‎67: The Guacamole Boys Hit the Town‎‎68: Fin69: Nowhere to Go70: Not So Far71: Ice Age Coming72: Small73: Shame74: Untouchable75: A Demon Tale: Running Gags and Memes: The Movie76: Superior77: He's a Baaad Man78: Sandboys79: This is a contest story 80: A Space Christmas Story81: The One Where Bulma Goes Looking For Goku's Dragon Balls82: The Ginyu Force Chronicles83: Country Matters84: Chasing Oblivion85: Bardock's Some Hot Space Garbage and You're a Cuck86: The Story Without Any Cursing Except For This One Fuck And It's In The Title or (Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll Except Without Any Of The Sex)87: A Flap of the Wings88: Broccoli Tail89: Black as Blood90: Bi Arm or the One Where Baby is Actually A Rich Man or the Last One Of All the BYARMS91: One Chop Man92: Girl93: Twelve Majestic Lies94: Spaceball95: The Monster and the Maiden96: Mountain Bird97: A Quest for Booty98: Yaki the Yardrat's lecherous crime cartel, can Jaco and Strabbary stop it?99: Across the Universe100: His Majesty's Pet101: Destroyer of Universes102: The One with Several No Good Rotten Space Vermin103: The Scouring of Paradise104: To Kill a God-Emperor105: Extragalactic Containment Protocol106: Appetent Justice107: The Naptime Championships108: Really Big Scary Monsters109: Old Nishi110: He Needs Some Space Milk111: Filthy Monkeys112: The Mortal Flaw113: Leap114: Dyspo Sucks115: The Royal Exception116: Mushin117: Doctor Piggyboy118: The Space Taco Bandit119: The Big Book of Very Important Things (119.1: Why the supreme kai thinks there are only 28 planets in the universe by kidvegeta, esquire119.2: The raisin why supreme kai thinks theres only 28 planets119.3: Supreme kai why do you think there are only 28 planets pls respond119.4: Vegeta: The Tale of Chiaotzu119:5. Sweet Nothings About Cuber by KidVegeta and Destructivedisk119.6: ☉‿⊙119.7: The Part Where He Actually Blows Himself119.8: The truefacts tht hhyperzerling ssahhy119.9: Dragon Ball Supper119.10: A list of people yamcha's been intimate with)120: Memories of a Bloodless Thrall121: Lights of Zalama122: The Deathless Scraps123: Time-Eater124: Dragon Ball: The Mrovian Series: Hidden Memories of Chaiva125: Nineteen Assassins126: Welcome to Rapture127: Bean Daddy128: Zeta Male129: One Word From The Crane130: The Big Ugly131: The Legend of Upa132: Trickster is Meaningless133: Three Foolish Monkeys134: Killing General Copper135: One of Them136: The Swindler137: Softpetal138: How To Act Like a Professional Mercenary139: Insatiable140: Every Turtle Has His Day141: No Second Chances142: Blue Wolf143: The Shunko Onsen144: Nam's Big Dive145: Hard as Diamonds146: In Search of Pork Buns147: Feeding Time148: Chi-Chi's Got Talent149: Patient 240150: Divine in Maturity151: Tail Don't Lie152: Pontas Pilot153: Soft Matter154: PFR155: The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization156: Dragon Ball: Heart of the Dragon157: Community Roleplays (157.1 Dragon Ball: Future Imperfect (2nd Saga)157.2 No Way Out157.3 Vacation157.4 Cool Runnings157.5 What Role Will You Play?)158: Deleted Stories (158.1 Dragon Ball: Short Story Project158.2 The Last Saiyan)159: Final Thoughts
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