I never read Future Imperfect all the way through. I didn't need to; it had almost nothing special about it. Future Imperfect was a roleplay mostly edited by three other users (and sometimes Destructivedisk) who were, essentially, bleeding the story and universe of Halo with the idea of Super Saiyans. Yes, it was a terrible idea, and yes it was terribly executed. The story was neither as good as Halo or Dragon Ball. It was unoriginal, because the other editors just used the same names of weapons and vehicles from the Halo universe. Destructivedisk, early on, entered the roleplay and basically messed around in it, as he did not find the idea to be very good, either.
I entered the roleplay for one reason; I wanted to get the achievement for roleplay edits. Destructivedisk and I had created Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation for a never-written collaboration. Because we hadn't used him yet, and his page existed, I felt like putting him into the roleplay instead of creating a new character. Lau the G, the creator of the roleplay, originally didn't want me to add in a new character, but I eventually just edited anyway, and he was fine with it after that.
As will be seen below, I did not write seriously. How could I? This was just for getting achievements in a semi-legitimate way.
Story[edit | edit source]
Because I was only involved in the second saga, starting in the eighth chapter, I will only be commenting on the chapters I was in. The dialogue and scene direction that I wrote is in bold.
Chapter 8: Stop That Alien![edit | edit source]
Damon: We have to stop it. Charlie, we can finish our fight later. For now let's stop this alien
Charlie: Fight?! WHAT?! FIGHT?! NO NO FUCK YOU!!! TRYING TO KILL ME FOR WHAT?!?!
Osborne: GUYS!!! GIANT ALIEN!!!!!
Damon: Charlie, relax. I'm not trying to kill you right now. I may still be mad, but we have to stop that alien before our fight can continue. The fate of our planet is more important than me avenging my father.
Charlie: How is killing me going to avenge him?! GOKU KILLED HIM, NOT ME!!!!
Giant Alien: *Fires a humongous mouth wave, destroying the whole area*
Charlie: *emerges from rubble* Osborne?! He was a normal human! He won't survive a blast of that caluber! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *Charges towards the alien*
Giant Alien: *Goes underground*
Damon:* reaches the hole in the ground the alien made* That thing won't get away that easily.*flies through hole after alien*
Giant Alien: *Grabs Damon with tentacles and starts crushing him*
Jestude: I know that thing. It's Terror.
Osborne: One of the most dangerous aliens in this galaxy. It's size is not the worse thing. Is it's power..... He has enough power to crush "Dablon" or whatever his name is.
Charlie: It's "Damon". And if he does crush him I'm fine with that. That bastard tried to kill me! If he gets killed that's one less threat we have to worry about.
Jestude: I am getting a distressed call coming from... underground?
Damon: Guys, I'm sorry for trying to kill Charlie. I overreacted when I learned he was the descendent of my dad's killer. I won't hurt him or any other good guys. JUST SAVE ME!!!
Osborne: Should we trust him???
Charlie: ....*Fires a blast at the alien's face*
Terror: ....*Drops Damon*
Charlie: Yeah....YEAH! COME ON!! YEAH IT WAS ME WHO BLASTED YA!!!!!!
Terror: *Flies towards Charlie and grabs him then flies in the air*
Charlie: IT CAN FLY TOO?!?!
Terror: *Flies thousands of feet in the air then drops Charlie*
Charlie: *In a crater, bleeding* Ughhhh...............
Terror: *goes back underground*
Jestude: Com on, we got to save those soldiers down there. *goes underground after Terror*
Charlie: You gotta help me man...I can barely move!
Jestude: *flies up and grabs Charlie and takes him underground with him*
Soldier 1: Should we help?
Soldier 2: I don't know....
A tentacle appears behind the soldiers
Soldier 2: AH! *Pulled underground*
Soldier 1: NO!
Terror: *Holding Soldier 2 and starts glowing then disappears*
Charlie and Jestude arrive at Terror's area
Terror: *In a humanoid form* Ah, that's better. Now I can communicate with them.
Charlie: Huh???? Isn't that a soldier?
Terror: *Deep, evil voice* Hello, lower life forms.
Charlie: *Serious face* .....I'm guessing not.
Terror: My name is *Says some long complicated alien name*, but you know me better as "Terror."
Jestude: Did that f***ing alien T-Rex just talk?
Charlie: YOU'RE TERROR? Weren't you a giant just a minute ago?
Terror: I have the ability to put myself in someone else's body, to control them. I know everything about the person I have controlled. Their memories, languages, skills, etc. After I'm done, they are eaten from the inside-out.
Jestude: Very "intelligent" of you.
Charlie: What's your plan?
Terror: My "plan?" I have no plan. You have been destroying my aliens, and I have come to take care of that.
Charlie: Your aliens attacked us first!
Terror: I am an overlord. I take over planets. It's what I do. This planet will be mine. By the way, I suggest you keep an eye on Earth, their life forms are quite "weak".
Charlie: What?! Don't you dare mess with my home! *Eats a Fruit of Might then uses Super Saiyan*
Jestude: Were you the power level I was sensing?
Terror: I guess so. Now, can we get this started? I'd personally like to kill you quickly but I'd make you suffer.
Charlie: No you WON'T! *Charges power*
Jestude: Your gonna wish you haven't.*charges up to the max*
Terror: Let me show you how futile your efforts are. *Raises power just a little bit, and it's far more powerful than Charlie and Jestude's*
Charlie: *Stops powering up and is shocked*
Terror: That wasn't even a fraction, a scrap of my power. Now *Uses a Super Explosive Wave*
Charlie: AGH! *Blown back far away*
Jestude: What the SHIIIIT! *is blown away by the Super Explosive Wave*
Terror: *Uses Telekinesis to lift them both us* Hey guys *Keeps hitting Charlie and Jestude then drops them* Now. *Charges a blast* Super Genocide *Fires purple blast at the two*
Charlie: AGH! *Grabs Jestude then teleports above ground*
Charlie: Huh??? How did I do that?
Goku: *In Charlie's mind* Instant Transmission. A technique used to teleport you anywhere easily.
Osborne: Uh, hey guys.
Charlie: OSBORNE! TERROR! AFTER US!
Jestude: GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE!
Osborne: Alright alright! *Runs off*
Terror: *Shoots out of the ground* I'm coooooooomiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Charlie: HAH! *Fires a blast down at Terror*
Jestude: *fires a giant-golden ki blast at Terror*
Terror: Was that supposed to "hurt me?"
Jestude: *stares at Terror in awe* Yes, yes it was.
Terror: *Fires lasers*
Charlie: *Hit* Agh! *Power....Going down! Need another fruit!* *Eats a Fruit of Might then powers up again*
???:Strength Decrease! *sends a strength decrease to the giant alien* Get a taste of Dasson.*sends an explosive ki destruction barrier causing the alien to die*
Jestude: Who the f***s there?
Charlie: I don't... I don't know.
Jestude: This is bullshit!
Devastatos: How much longer 'til we reach the Earth?
Computer: 3 more hours
Devastatos: How fast are we going?
Computer: We are going at Hyper Speed
Devastatos: Very well. Carry on.
Back to the fight
Jestude: *fires a golden-ray at Terror*
Dasson: Alright that alien is dead. *looking to the other alien* That one looks strong. Better help them. *throwing cloak off and rushes towards the batttle* You can't rule this planet I'm still ruling! *looking at Charlie* Speed Increase! "sending a shockwave to Charlie*
Chalie gains a speed increase
Terror: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA COME ON HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Uses a Super Explosive Wave that levels the entire area*
Charlie: *Breaths heavily* A Spirit Bomb.... Maybe that's the only way!
Jestude: *tries the hold back the Super Explosive Wave* Hurry Charles! I don't know how long I can hold this!
Dasson:*looking at the explosive wave* I can try and make it decrease it's strength but that's going to take all lot more ki. But, I have an idea. *shouting in his language* Culta gasa tuy o polu tam!
In an instant, three people from his race rush out the area
Viler:*putting his hand up* Velocity Bomb!
Rinab:*putting his hand up* Velocity Bomb!
Ailn:*putting his hand up* Velocity Bomb!
Purple ki balls will appear in their hands and they'll throw it at the Super Explosive Wave. Thus countering off.
Jestude: *lets go and gets blown away* AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
a squadron of soliers and a tank comes out of nowhere
Commander:Alright men, fire everything you got at that monster! Ready, fIRE! *starts firing*
Soldiers: *fire guns and explasives at Terror*
Charlie: I'll do it.... EVERYBODY! RAISE YOUR HANDS! SHARE YOUR ENERGY! *Raises hands*
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *Raises hands*
Charlie: o.o Uh who's that guy??? Not gonna argue. *Starts gathering energy*
Osborne: *Stops* Huh??? *Feels something* .....Charlie..... *Raises hands* Soldiers! Raise your hand if you want to win this!
Multiple Soldiers: *Raises their hands*
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *Raises hands higher causing the ball to become so big*
Charlie: Thank you random guy!
Terror: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Fires blasts at everyone*
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *grunts to himself* I'm not a guy... I'm Namekian!
Charlie: Do you have a name???
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *jumps across the city because an alien is charging him so he doesn't hear Charlie*
Dasson: *using the same technique Kidnoss used* Rasie your hands, your President needs help. *turning to Charlie* Charge Speed Increase! *sends a waves to Charlie*
The Spirit Bomb gets bigger as the charging is getting faster and everyone in the Planet is putting their hands up
Terror: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Fires a blast at Jestude and Dasson* Now time for the other!!!
Charlie: *Thoughts: I don't think he sees the Spirit Bomb yet! But he's going to attack me soon...I'm in trouble!*
Osborne: *Stops raising hands* I'm tapped out....
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *sees a building in front of him and blows it up with his rugby talent killing about a few aliens*
Dasson:*looking at the blast comming* You do realise I'm not pooped out. COMT taught me many things. Like this! *easily dodges the blast* *goes into Charlie's mind* You need to throw it now. I learnt that Super Saiyan nullifies the effect of Spirit Bomb since it's full of rage and you're only able to control it because of your human side, but not for a while.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *grunts again*
Charlie: *Eats a few Fruits* GRRRR *Goes Super Saiyan* Get ready Terror!
Terror: WHAT?! HAHAHA YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ME ON?!?! *Sees the Spirit Bomb* WHA---NO WAY!!!! HOW DID HE GATHER UP ALL THAT ENERGY?!?!?!?!
Charlie: It's from the people of this planet. Get ready to have it! *Hurls Spirit Bomb*
Terror: I CAN'T STOP THAT IN THIS BODY! *Explodes and is a giant again* GRAHHHHHHHHHHHH *Tries to hold Spirit Bomb*
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *notices something glittering in a nearby building*
Dasson: Defence Decrease! *sending a shockwave to Terror*
Terror's strength decreases, letting the Spirit Bomb incenerate him.
Terror: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Incenerated*
Charlie: *Goes to base then collapses*
Jestude: *gets up* BACK-HAND SLAP! *back hand slaps the blast into the Spirit Bomb causing it to explode*
- I was on chat with Lau when I first edited this page. He freaked out when my Namekian raised his hand.
- It took me longer to write out my Namekian's name than to write any of his dialogue. All of it was improvised filler and useless and inexplicable dialogue.
- I didn't know where the fight was taking place when I entered. I also didn't know who the aliens were, what they looked like, or who the good guys were. That's why a lot of the dialogue in this part is vague.
- Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's rugby talent is a reference to the history section on his page, which was supposed to be a part of The Bony King of Nowhere. Of course, I later added in more things with his rugby life. But I'm not even sure why I chose rugby as his sport of choice when I created his page so long ago.
- I had no idea what was going to be glittering in the building when I originally wrote Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's last piece of dialogue in this chapter.
Chapter 9: The Allies[edit | edit source]
A swarm of aliens would instantly head to area.
Dasson:*looking around* Charlie collapsed way too easily. Even after I gave him an increase in Speed. He is too wreckless. And, I'm the only healer here. *looking to Jestude* Back down. We don't need to fight them. Let the army fight. *going to Charlie and begins to heal him* *in to armies mind* You can take these aliens down *to his own armies mind* Help the humans, now.
Allied Banshees and Ghosts come out of nowhere and infantry easily heads out to the area. The Human Army also help them trying to take care of the other aliens.
Charlie: *Wakes up* Ugh..... Dasson, did we win???
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *steps inside the building and notices more glitter all around him; this causes him to flare up his aura*
Dasson: That giant Terra Spothoch dead, yes. But not quite yet. My army and Earth's army are fighting together against some Airbone Meslias.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *sees something run by and it looks like an alien; mutters to himself* Look at that speed... it's incredble... That was almost as fast as Cargo in last season's opener.
Charlie: *Gets up* Come on...
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: I'm coming!
Charlie: *Charges a blast in each hand* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *Fires at aliens*
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *is suddenly surrounded by a bright white light?* Oh no! I'm not ready yet! I don't want to go!
Mr. Popo: *inside Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's mind* Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation??? Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation!
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: Huh??? Who is this???
Mr. Popo *talking like a ghost* My name is Mr. Popo.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: Mr. Popo? What do you have to do with me???
Mr. Popo: Well, I'm your grandfather, that's what.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: My GRANDFATHER?!
Mr. Popo: Jk. You're going to be the new guardian of Earth! Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation, I choose you! *throws something red and white at Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation, causing him to be sucked up into the air*
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: Nooooo!! The humanity!! *gets pulled up super high* I'll miss you Dende and Cargo, but not you Moori!
Charlie: What just............ Uh, bye green guy!!!
*A dark figure comes from the sky and lands on an alien.*
Winter:*Flicks the alien off his tail.* Charlie... *grabs another alien and smashes his neck* I've come to kill you...
Jarako: <on the Lookout> WHAT THE CUNTFLAP, POPO. We had a deal, man. I wouldn't destroy the inhabitants of Earth and you wouldn't appoint a new guardian. I was supposed to be in control, not this green piece-of-a-cunt jack-vagina bug alien.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *wakes up on Earth on the Guardian's tower; there is a human babbling in the corner, but he ignores that; Mr. Popo appears before him with a wide grin, and gives him a cape* I've always wanted one of these!
Mr. Popo: Very good sir. Now that you're guardian, what will you do? Enslave the masses? I can help with that...
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: No... I have something better planned... I'll call it... Worldwide Rugby day!
Jestude: Sorry to butt-in but this sounds ridiculous.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *ignores that useless peasant since he's Guardian of Earth now; he notices Jarako has mysteriously vanished, perhaps he's planning something*
- This chapter features more Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation/Jarako plot than it does normal plot. That is just plain awesome.
- When Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation says that what he saw was incredible, that is a reference to Piccolo always saying that. Of course, his later mention of Cargo is a reference to his spectacular rugby team back on Planet Namek.
- My Namekian's coming line is an ejaculation about ejaculation, not a response to Charlie's dialogue.
- Popo's dialogue with him immediately after is a reference to the very beginning of the story where Charlie is contacted by Goku just like Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation is contacted by Popo. I found the Charlie/Goku dialogue to be mythically bad, so that is why I referenced it here. Plus, it's always hilarious when someone has to constantly repeat Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's name, like Popo had to.
- Obviously, the "I choose you!" piece of dialogue is a reference to Pokemon. This is further enhanced by the telepathic Popo suddenly throwing a Pokeball at him. I find this part hilarious because Popo was communicating to him through his mind, so he wouldn't be anywhere near him when throwing the ball.
- Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's "The humanity!" is a reference to Newman's scream in the famous episode of Seinfeld where his mail truck was set ablaze with him inside it.
- Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's hatred of Moori is well-documented on his page. This is another reference to his history section.
- I find it funny how Charlie and the others constantly reference what Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation and Jarako and Popo are doing, while those three almost never even recognize the main characters exist. It's as if for the last five chapters of saga 2, the story is hijacked and (briefly) made to be a little more entertaining.
- Popo's mentality of enslaving humanity and generally being evil was influenced by the abridged Dragon Ball series, where Popo is like that.
- Worldwide Rugby Day was used as a further derailment of the plot because as I was reading some of the dialogue of the aliens vs humans battle, I hated it so much that I wanted it to stop for as long as I was involved in the story. Thus, if the guardian of Earth decreed a break, everyone would have to oblige. It was awesome.
Chapter 10: Rugby Day[edit | edit source]
*as per great leader Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's decree, the world will observe Rugby Day; no one fights for the rest of the day including the aliens who have to take part too; the fighters all rest, like Charlie and whoever else there is; they can fight the next day*
Charlie: ....Why are we not fighting the aliens? The war is still not over.
Osborne: Uh, "Rugby Day" I believe. Made by River's Cuomo Blah Blah Blah His Name Is Too Long. We can't fight for a day.
Charlie: BUT WE'RE ON DASSON'S PLANET, NOT EARTH!!!
Osborne: Make good of this. You have a day. Take a break. Rest. Fap. Do something.
Charlie: Oka----Wait did you just say fap???
Osborne: *Pretends not to hear* Hm?
- This is the only chapter I was involved in which I only wrote one line in. As well, it has no dialogue written by me.
- This is easily the worst chapter I was involved in simply because Charlie and Osborne have so much screen time with their fucking awful dialogue. I mean look at that shit. It's embarrassing to read.
- I didn't even know everyone was fighting on another planet. I thought everyone was on Earth. So when one of the characters mentions that, it just builds on the comedy of this train wreck.
- Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation being called a great leader is a reference to how the North Koreans refer to their leader. Obviously, I wanted my Namekian to be an homage to King Jong-un. Only then could he be considered a successful guardian of Earth.
- The hilarity of this chapter stems from the fact that the aliens decide to observe the holiday as well.
- This chapter epitomizes the purpose of not only me in the story, but the story in general. The plot is meaningless and convoluted just like in the rest of the story.
Chapter 11: The War Rages On[edit | edit source]
The next day on Planet Feashing, the war rages on.
Dasson: Where did they just go? *remembering something* Charlie's in trouble. *Charlie's mind* You're in trouble, once the army find out your on Earth, they'll attack you because I don't think they had gotten the message yet. And, it looks like it's just me, Damon and Jestude.
Charlie: *Gasps* You're right....
Jestude: *speaking to Charlie in his mind* I agree with Oz over there. You owe to yourself to relax a little bit, just until we get there before the Feashings, so stay in there, Charles
Charlie: *Talking to Jestude and Dasson* Should I leave Earth now or stay hidden for now?
Jestude: Stay under the radar for now, just to be on the safe side.
Charlie: Dammit, I come back home but now I have to hide?
Jestude: Sorry, Charles. Hey, You could have a vaction. Only instead of having fun under the sun, you'll be having fun underground. HAhahahaha
Charlie: *Sad* That helps......
Jestude: Aw don't be sad. There's a little water where your going. HAHAGAAAAH
Charlie: SHUT THE HELL UP DAMMIT!!!!
Jestude: And their might not be sand but there is something that can sooth your feet. DIRT. HEHEHAHAHAHAHA
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *feels a breeze through his cape; he jumps off the lookout and flies around* Swoosh, swoosh!
Dasson:*still in Charlie's Mind* According to COMT he has a bunker to where he can travel from Earth. It's where we were at that cave. *to Jestude* That's a mistake. The Feashings are my race, they're with us. It's the Airbone Meslias or Sky Aliens you can call them.
Captain Apereos(Feashing) and Captain Halder(Human) are seen working together trying to kill them.
Apereos:*with a sniper aiming at a Sky Alien* Ready... *pulls trigger*
Bullet kills the Sky Alien
Halder*wielding a rocket launcher* This is gonna rock you like a hurricane! *pulls trigger*
Rocket launcher blows up a propane attack and knocks a sky alien and blows up the rest. The horde of Sky Aliens are gone.
Charlie: *Sighs* I'll listen to Dasson on this one.
Jestude: So much for you having fun underground.
Osborne: Well let's do this then.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *lands back on the lookout*
Apereos:*walking to Dasson* Anything else President?
Dasson: I need you to be secretive, send Harlem Squad to retrieve Charlie.
Apereos: I don't understand that order, they'll find us.
Halder walks to them.
Halder: Leave it to Poker Squad, we can do this job.
Dasson:*in Charlies mind* Poker Squad will get you out there. Your safe.
Poker Squad head out of the area and head on to their Pelican and they head into space to Earth.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *gets hungry; so he jumps off the lookout; after he lands on the ground, he finds a Subway and eats there; afterwards, his power is restored* Kupaianaha! Now I can finish off these plebs.
Jestude: Man, They should've sent Harlem Squad. *arms himself*
Dasson: If we sent Harlem Squad, they still would have been a target, they haven't actually been reknown as allies. yet. Since Charlie's radio and Ken's radio was on, I could hear them speak about them helping each other. And I own the Feashing Army meaning they're allies now. The only problem is, radio's don't work from Earth to another planet.
Charlie: Yeah yeah yeah, can somebody just pick me up already?! *Grumpy*
Jestude: Man, If you wanted to end your Vai.K. you should've said so. I'll pick you up. Hey, one of you soldiers give me a helicopter!
Dasson:*to Jestude* You do know you also count as a fugitive on Earth. We are trying to do this without any fighting.
On Earth. Poker Squad have landed on the cave waiting for Charlie.
Halder: Lone Wolf, you can get out now and so can you Oz.
Osborne: Come on then, Lone Wolf.
Charlie: *Upset* fine.... *Goes with Osborne*
Charlie and Oz are picked up by Poker Squad and is taken them back to Planet Feash.
Jestude:*to Dasson* Because I am a soldier. We stick by one another as a unity. If one soldier is gonna die,then I'm gonna die next to him,knowing I didn't let a life die on his own.And besides,you can't have peace*loads up his lucky pistol* if you don't demand*gets into a helicopter and flies off toward Charlie's location*
Charlie: *Sits down*
Dasson: Not really. We kind of ripped off our titles as one. I don't actually think Charlie cares that he is a soldier, to himself he is a Saiyan, to you he's a soldier. These petty titles don't matter anymore.
Halder: We're on our way back to Planet Feash.
Charlie: Hey guys. Got some food in here???
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *notices an upside down paint can just outside the Subway*
Charlie: *Uses Telepathy* Hey Fendy, would there be a way to make peace between us and the government?
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: Yes.
Charlie: Because they still want to kill me off, but they don't understand that I'm a GOOD alien! Please help.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: Charlie's an alien? Plot twist!
Charlie: ...Yes... I am part Saiyan. So what will you do???
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: Oh god, Popo! Make it stop! There's voices in my head again!
Charlie: ....You seem to be having a moment....
Jestude: *lands* Your chariot awaites you, Charels
Halder: There is food.
Charlie lands on Planet Feash.
Dasson: You're back.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *to himself* Oh good, those voices have stopped!
Jestude: You hearin' ghostor somethin',bro?
Dasson:*looking around* We're missing Damon. Where the hell is he?
Jestude: *looks around* Oh shit!
Charlie: ......Too bad........
Jestude: THAT BASTAAAAAAARRRD!
Charlie: Uh, Jestude, you okay???
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *picks up the paint can*
Dasson:*to Oz* You know all about these aliens. Terra Spototch, Airbone Meslias and Proticus Momolia. What is their purpose? Why are they only aiming at my planet? Kidnoss's reason for attacking Earth was to bring me back home.
Osborne: What can I say? They're evil. They just want to destroy planet after planet.
Charlie: Yeah but....
- My Namekian jumped off the Lookout and then landed near a Subway because I was eating Subway while writing this chapter.
- Kupaianaha is a real Hawaiian phrase, from which Kowabunga is derived.
- The joke in the scene at subway is that Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation is a Namekian, and therefore doesn't eat. Yet Subway is so good, it defies biology.
- The paint can is a reference to one of Sonic the Hedgehog's creation theories, with him running into a blue paint can. I chose a green one for Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation for obvious reasons.
- His "Yes" comment is very mocking. It's one of those responses that just oozes arrogance. He knows that it is possible, yet does not say he will do it because it wasn't asked of him. This was all deliberate in my writing.
- Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation started thinking that Charlie and the rest were voices in his head because I didn't like where the story was going and didn't want to have a dialogue with Lau's character any longer.
- Later when Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation says the voices have stopped, that is the point at which I had decided to completely ignore what was going on in the rest of the story. It was all I could do at that point because Destructivedisk wasn't online during this chapter to talk with me.
- Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation's last bit of scene direction in the chapter was specifically written as a vague action (similar to his last action in chapter 8, his fist chapter) to be a cliffhanger to the finale. When writing it, I knew that I would force the next chapter to be the very last of the saga. So it was intentional.
Chapter 12: The Walrus[edit | edit source]
Devastatos: How much longer?
Computer: 1 more hour
Devastatos: Well hurry up.
pod dashes off faster toward Earth
Dasson:*sensing* I can sense something evil coming to Earth. *sensing even more* I think they've given up and their heading to Earth now.
Halder: All units go into your Pelicans or the Flying Base now!
All squads head in to their respective Pelicans, while some, like medics head into their flying base.
Aperoes: We'll take on any other invasion. We have Ki Squad backing us up.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *studies the inside of the paint can*
Charlie: Heading torwards Earth?! I must go then!
Dasson:*noticing the ship they have been using before* Let's head to our ship Charlie! *heading towads it* We need to leave Damon.
Jarako: *holding a red paint can* Let's see how Namekian mr. Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation is when he's not green anymore... *has a devilish smirk*
Charlie: *Runs with Dasson* Let's go!
Dasson:*looking Jarako* Hey! President of Earth and my old boss, let's go! Your planet is in trouble and your soldiers are heading back.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *notices the inside of the paint can is empty; the small amount of paint that remained inside had dried, and the color of the paint is green*
Jarako: Dasson, fuck off. This one's between me and Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation.
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *throws the paint can down in shock* This must be what created me... incredible! If this is what I came from, there can be no stopping me!
Jarako: *springs out of nowhere with a red spraypaint can and sprays Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation with the red goo; in moments, Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation is completely covered in red paint; he quickly loses his antennae and grows a long, glorious mane of hair and a penis - he is no longer Namekian; now that he is red, he has become a... Konatsian.* Haha, you fool! Everyone knows that Konatsians can't be rulers of the Earth!
Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation: *coughs up red paint and falls to his knees; suddenly a white light engulfs him, and then there's a large explosion or some shit; when the light dims, everyone can see that where once stood the Konatsian-turned Namekian now stands Mr. Popo* Hahaha. You think I didn't expect that, mortal? *Mr. Popo stands up, and the paint falls off of him, it's incredible* I ain't no fucking Namekian, I'm the walrus. I always was!
Jarako: It... it can't be!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*suddenly, Jarako feels the power of Popo overwhelm him - he is obliterated by the great blackness that is Mr. Popo*
Mr. Popo: *starts masturbating as everyone around him starts disintegrating; people are running and screaming, but no one gets far before dying; quite a few humans die, but not everyone on Earth quite yet; he stares ahead with a piercing gaze, and chuckles to himself* Heh heh heh. What fools they all were, especially telepathic Goku. I'll kill them all and rule the universe!
Charlie: No... It was you all along?! This is bad. I need to get out of here! *Goes inside ship and turns it then flies off into space*
Several aliens appear as Popo nears climax, and start surrounding Charlie's ship
Charlie: *Fires canons from the ship* HA! HA! HA! COME ON!
Alien 1: *Fires a blast at Charlie's ship*
Charlie: It's badly damaged! I'll have to take care of this myself. *Leaves ship with a space suit then goes False Super Saiyan then fires blasts at the aliens* Come on you beasts! *Grabbed in the leg by a tentacle* Uh oh! *Obliterates the alien*
Aliens come in the thousands and attack Charlie
Charlie: Oh no! HAAAAAA! *Uses an explosive wave, but it only holds back a few of them* AGH! *being grabbed by several aliens and is then surrounded* *Thoughts: They are much stronger now... I could've easily beat them before..... So this is how it ends, huh??? I'm sorry I couldn't protect the Earth....I'm sorry.....* *Surrounded by thousands of aliens and is killed*
Mr. Popo *just as Charlie's body goes limp, he finally climaxes, engulfing the nearby sidewalk with his genie-seed*
- The chapter name was a reference to "I Am the Walrus" by The Beatles. This was chosen just before I really got into The Beatles, but after I had listened to this song a few times.
- During this chapter, Destructivedisk and I were really fed up with the awful story of this roleplay. This is shown when Jarako curses at Charlie multiple times and my characters just completely ignore any other editor aside from Destructivedisk.
- The green of the paint can informs Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation that he came from it, as he is the same color.
- His use of incredible is yet another reference to Piccolo's constant use of the word.
- I was very clever when I had Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation cough up red paint as if it was blood.
- When the paint falls off of the newly transformed Mr. Popo, I say "it's incredible". This is a reference to a phrase Destructivedisk wrote in The Anonymous Series.
- The fact that Rivers Cuomo's White Fender Stratocaster Made By Fender Musical Instruments Corporation was Mr. Popo all the long makes re-reading his dialogue that much better. When he converses with Popo, he's just talking to himself. When he asks Popo to save him, he's again just talking to himself. It's so hilariously ridiculous.
- Mr. Popo's final act, killing everyone is the best part of this story, hands down.
- Popo's reference to telepathic Goku is a second reference to the awful dialogue in the opening chapter of Future Imperfect.
- Originally Popo was supposed to walk down the street and everyone was to die. Lau didn't like this, so I was forced to change it to most people. It was better as all people.
- The scene with Popo at the end is one that I can visualize quite well. Thus, it is quite descriptive.
- Lau re-wrote Charlie's death to be more "noble". I sort of ignored this with the last line of the saga because the last line was perfect as it was. To Popo, Charlie just hallucinated fleeing Earth.
- Mr. Popo ejaculates his semen just as everyone dies. Now, this was slightly retconned, so that only most people were killed. However, in the original edit, this was not only supposed to be the end of the saga, but the end of the story. I had gotten all the achievements I had wanted out of this and the story was awful, so it made sense to just eviscerate everything and leave it like that. There were other (better) roleplays for me to join, like No Way Out, and I had already gotten the idea for Dragonball lies in the old hat, so I was no longer worried about getting the last tier for roleplays. Thus, I intended to end this one, one way or another.
- After Lau re-did some of the last chapter so that there would be a third saga, I considered entering into that saga. But the story never took off again. I don't think they've edited very much of the saga 3 since Destructivedisk and I made that epic finale. It should have ended with Popo's orgasm.
Endnotes[edit | edit source]
Most of what I have to say about this story is seen above. I will not hide my disdain for it - at least for what the others (sans Destructivedisk) wrote. This was just another terrible roleplay. I entered to mock it, to gain achievements and edits, and to entertain myself. I accomplished all of these goals. Along with Destructivedisk, I weaved the only interesting plot in the first twenty chapters (while only be involved in five of them). The final chapter of Saga 2 is the end of the story to me. There is nothing after Popo consumes the Earth. Sure, Lau wanted to continue it, he wanted to modify it slightly, but all of his edits just worsened it. The third saga consists of one unfinished chapter of directionless narrative. It is pointless and unneeded. So the story hit its climax just as Popo did, and all the shit dialogue and plot was cleansed by his genie seed. I think that what I wrote with Destructivedisk was nigh perfect, though the rest of the story was garbage. I regret nothing.
<---- Part 143
Part 143.2 ---->