So, this was the roleplay that Dedmnwalkn88 originally wanted to do with me, Gozon, and WaffleMinifigure. We first did the test roleplay, Vacation, to test ourselves out, and once that was completed, we started this story. We didn't do much pre-planning for this story. All of us talked, came up with our characters, and then set up the basic premise that everyone was going to fight somehow. There wasn't much more to it than that. Waffle created the Cool Runnings page on April 17, 2015, and we began editing that very day. We finished editing on November , 2015. I don't know what the name of this story means; you will have to ask Waffle about that one.
So my character in this story is Icer, the same dude I used in Vacation. I knew that his history here wouldn't be canon to his history in my other KV universe stories, so I didn't get concerned if anything here contradicted The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization, or other stories Icer is in. I did reveal some stuff about his backstory here which I may use later in my canon Icer stories. That was mainly done to characterize Icer and make him not just feel like a random fighter, like Miki did, for example. A backstory and a defined personality were the two things I went for with Icer to make him neither a Gary Stu nor boring.
I don't have a lot to say about this story, since it doesn't really have a plot, and all of my sections were improvised on the spot. I remember there were some times when we were all on DBF chat together, ordering who edited when, but we never really talked about the plot much. In the later months of editing this story, we did not communicate on DBF chat much anymore, usually just using talk pages to do so. This resulted in the story taking a hellavu lot longer to write than before. Near the end, each section, particularly from Dedmn and myself, took longer and longer to write. For me, this was due to me having a lot on my plate and being quite busy, but even then, I still edited on a reasonable timeframe for the most part. Dedmn took the longest out of anyone to edit, though I think that's also because he's busy in real life and is involved in other roleplays on other wikis.
Regardless, those facts meant that this story took a lot longer to finish than it should have. Another reason for that was that Waffle basically disappeared two-thirds of the way through July 2015. His disappearance caused the pacing of our edits to slow considerably, for in some way, we were waiting for him to return. When he never did, we had to change up the plot to accomodate for that. Look, I have no idea why he disappeared. But unless it was life-threatening, it was a very disrespectful thing for Waffle to do. As of writing this commentary, Waffle still hasn't returned or explained his extended absence.
Considering this roleplay doesn't have much of a plot, I don't have much else to say. I won't be commenting too much on the other users' sections. I did put some thematic and characterization content in my sections, though, which I will be commenting on. I think this is a superior way to roleplay over doing single-line drama-format roleplays, but this type still has its setbacks. For one, conversations are pretty much impossible. There really aren't any conversations in this story. There are some declarations, sometimes even two consecutive lines (very rare, though), but no conversations, which are much more possible in the other type of roleplay. Another problem with this kind of roleplay is that fights can't be choreographed very well. I can basically only control Icer; I can't do something interesting with Miki retaliating to Icer's attack. So in my paragraph(s), I am forced to have my character beat up on his opponent(s). Then, in the other users' sections, they can beat up Icer. This is not the fault of any of us writers, I believe, just a limitation of the format we were writing in. As a result, the fight scenes aren't particularly good in this story. And since this story is basically only fights... yeah, you can guess how much I like Cool Runnings. More thoughts on that in the below endnotes.
The story of Cool Runnings was not split up into sections while we were writing it (or after it was completed). I am simply splitting it up into sections below so that I can comment on each of my sections individually instead of trying to put all of my endnotes at the very end (like I did with my anthology of Vacation). That is because this story is so long (I have more than three times as many sections here as I did in Vacation), and it would be very hard to read my endnotes if all of them for all of my sections were grouped together. Anyway, I set up each section arbitrarily with my parts ending each "section". This is because the earlier parts from the other users affect what I wrote after them, so I want to be able to comment on them as well if I want to. That would be impossible if I formatted the below sections to start with my parts (and ending just before another Icer pov comes up). So yeah, that's about it for the opening commentary. Onto the endnotes!
Story[edit | edit source]
The scenes that I wrote are in bold.
Section 1[edit | edit source]
Icer sat perched on his captain's chair, his arms fold, looking out the great window at the planet below. Around Icer were some of his most experienced soldiers - well, they had been soldiers once. We're all pirates now, Icer mused. They wore the armor of the Planet Trade Organization, but that organization no longer existed. They were the last ragged band of an otherwise dead empire.
Rowa was pacing. The others were standing completely still, or were on their stations. That was how Icer preferred them. They were disciplined, silent, strong. He was their emperor, and they loved him. At least, I hope so. He smiled. Surely a few of the pirates wanted him dead, but none of them had the strength to challenge him. Nor would they ever. Icer had the blood of King Cold in him. It was his duty to follow in his brother's footsteps. But he didn't care about ruling the entire universe. He just wanted a small bit of it to himself, a loyal army, and enough money to buy anything he wanted. That's not asking too much.
"Lamian," Icer said coolly, sitting up in his chair. "Tell me, why are we here? Is there someone you need dead? Or perhaps you have some of that treasure you owe me." Icer scratched his chin. "You owe me quite a lot of treasure."
- So for this section, all I was told was that everyone would be meeting on a planet. Waffle and I worked out a bit about why Lamian was after Miki on DBF chat and then put that exposition in our early sections.
- "We're all pirates now" is a play on the Gears of War 3 tagline, "We're All Stranded Now".
- Notice that I spend a lot of my opening section explaining Icer's backstory, who he is, and how he used to be a part of the Planet Trade Organization. That the organization is supposedly gone implies that this story takes place long after Frieza's and King Cold's deaths. Notice how no one else did this with their characters - at least not to the degree I did. Lamian and Canon had some alright characterization and backstory, but they could have used more. Miki of course has no development, and that was a problem in Vacation too.
- There's also some important characterization going on for Icer here. His thoughts about just wanting a nice cozy empire of his own and lots of loot and things to give him pleasure is the basis of his entire personality.
- I usually try to end my scenes with a cliffhanger. Since this is the first scene overall, that wasn't really important. So instead, I set up Lamian's exposition with Icer's last line. This was done so that the plot could become clear to the readers (and to the other contributors).
Section 2[edit | edit source]
Lamian looked at the ex-royal from across the video screen, while he sat in his own ship, far from the Charybdis. First Rule of Piracy: Never be caught off guard, that's what the pirate that formerly owned the fleet Lamian now owned always said, before his, disappearance, of course.
"Can't friends just talk?" he joked, "Anyway, you owe me those ships you 'borrowed'. I'd consider us even." Lamian's voice shifted to a more serious tone, "I do need someone dead, however, some alien, about 1.7 meters, silver haired, blue eyed, female-looking. Surprisingly powerful, but I'm sure you'll be able to deal with it. Hell, I'll even help," Lamian smiled "in exchange for a lowering of the price, friend."
Icer grinned a cold grin. "You want to help? That's a first." The emperor stood up and took off his dark cloak. The artificial air made his skin freeze. Just the way I like it. He began stretching his muscles out. None of his pirate comrades dared move. "Very well. I'll bring along some of my weaker pirates. If this foe of yours is as strong as you say, I don't want to lose anybody I care about."
Icer nodded to Rowa. "Go fetch me the pirates from the lower deck. The ones who like space ponies a little too much."
Rowa ran off, dutifully. Icer leaned over, as if he was bowing, and found a row of white powder lined up on a small table. He snorted it hard, expertly inhaling the entire line in one breath. Then, he stood up and flexed his muscles to Lamian. "Space cocaine is my best friend, Lamian. You aren't far behind, though. Let's do this thing."
And so Icer, along with some of the weakest, most detestable pirates in his crew, left for the planet below. Lamian, and whatever help he would bring, were not far behind.
- Coldness and coolness is associated with Icer all the time. I describe his speech and expressions like this all the time. That is simply because he's an Arcosian and the brother of King Cold. There's a tonal aspect to being an Arcosian, and that was what I was trying to express.
- My Little Pony can suck a knob.
- Rowa is actually Waffle's character - or she was, in Vacation. I sort of controlled her here just for convenience's sake. She worked for Icer, and I didn't want to have to create a new named officer for such a small role. Later on in the story, I imply that Icer and Rowa have been sexually intimate, so their implied relationship is a thing, too.
- Space cocaine was a joke. I like writing for drug addicts (Super Handel being my best one, in canon), because it brings in both comedy and interesting characterization for the character. Why is Icer taking drugs? The answer to that is at the heart of the pain inside Icer and why he has become almost catatonic to those around him, not daring to show them his true emotions or the mental pain that he is enduring.
- For what it's worth, from here on out, Icer mostly takes space heroin, but that's mostly a matter of convenience. I think he actually prefers space cocaine, but that is much harder to take in the field of battle.
- Icer departed for the planet with his weakest pirates because he didn't want to risk anyone important in the upcoming battle. That includes Rowa. I was never going to kill Waffle's character, so she couldn't come. I knew how the story would end up - with the planet' destruction and all of the weaker soldiers' deaths. So Rowa couldn't take part in the battle if she wanted to live. And Waffle didn't seem like he wanted to roleplay for two characters, so that was fine. I certainly wasn't going to roleplay for her.
Section 3[edit | edit source]
Lamian brought twenty small landing ships, filled with barely trained fodder. He always found that powerful mercenaries costed too much, when you could just acquire massive groups of ki fodder for cheap prices. But Lamian knew the advantages of a few well trained individuals, so his ship and another, the eleventh and twelfth, respectively, carried his honor guard, the best of the best, or in common pirate terms, could fight Icer together and survive for three hours. Two hundred and twenty soldiers, in total.
"If any of you survive, you could retire with what I'll pay you," he spoke to the troops with fire in his eyes, "if any of you kill her, you get a planet. If you capture her, five. No, ten, ten planets for her capture. I want that thorn out of my side, no matter what. Now go."
They left, each one of them ready to fight.
"Hey Gringo, wanna pass the di__ Goddammit not again."
A barren, icy tundra rolled out for miles on end on a seemingly dead planet, from what Canon could tell. He'd never seen the place before, and he most surely didn't know its name. For that matter, he didn't even know what universe he was in. Just a few seconds prior he had been at a ramshackle bar down in Space Mexico, Universe 007X-3666, eating tortilla chips. Then suddenly, he simply teleported to some far out region of the universe on an inhospitable part of the universe __ again. That's what he got for being the acolyte of Kakó, constantly being out on a mission to destroy something.
"So, what is it this time," he thought aloud, using his internal power detector to scan the area. "Just as I thought, the place is barren, except for... one B Class power several hundred miles south. And, wait... a whole cluster f*ck of small powers coming down along with one big one."
Canon quickly sprung into action. He sought out the landing point of the cluster of powers, happening to coincide with the one big power on the planet. The makings of a battle were imminent. Calculating the time of impact, Canon began to fly towards the other powers, determined to extinguish whatever awaited him in the name of the god Kakó.
Miki snapped out of her meditative state as dozens upon dozens of power levels suddenly began spilling onto the planet's surface. The sudden flood of power was enough to overwhelm Miki's limited power sensing abilities, making it impossible to identify individuals among the mass of power. No longer suppressing her immense energy, Miki's power flowed from her body, shattering the fragile pillars of ice that surrounded her, covering the surrounding area in a shimmering shower of ice shards. Miki cursed under her breath, knowing the surge of energy she had just allowed to escape surely would give away her position.
"Awh hell." Miki muttered. "That pretty much takes lying low off the table." Getting to her feet, Miki scanned the ice gilded valley, now almost completely clear without the frozen spikes that had protruded from the surface mere moments ago. To her north, a series of snow covered mountains studded high above the desolate surface of the planet, long streaks of deep blue ice giving the impression that the mountains weeped for the planet. Looking to the East, West and South, Miki saw nothing but wasteland and icy plateaus that paled in comparison to their larger brethren. The mountains were the most logical place to make a stand, as it would be easy to bottleneck any enemies that dare target her. "Mountains it is, I guess." Without wasting another moment, Miki shot upwards towards the mountains, her deep blue aura leaving a long trail in her wake.
The small fleet landed near simultaneously, at least, as simultaneous as massive metal objects plunging from the sky into a frozen wasteland could get. Lamian threw on his insulated armor and grabbed his weapon, which was rightfully the possession of a high ranking PTO officer's next-of-kin, but being rightful never got anyone anywhere. He exited the ship, his honor guard shielding him, and snapped his fingers. The two hundred lesser soldiers stood at attention. Lamian's personal assistant, a ten-foot tall tree honor guard that was currently flowering, handed him a small datapad that served as a scouter, which Lamain was unable to use due to the shape of his head. The datapad showed two high power levels, one in the mountains, one above, certainly Icer landing, which meant the one in the mountains was the female annoyance, and one anomaly steadily moving towards both, surely the datapad malfunctioning.
"Today, we march," he spoke intently. The two words pumped up his forces, and were simple enough that even some of the Yardrat Company's least intelligent beings would understand them. The inclusion of 'we' was certainly intentional, making his soldiers think that they were in this together, despite the fact that only they would die, and 'march' was meant to harkon back to their species' Middle Ages, the days of glory and honor. The forces let out a small hurrah, one of bravery, and the slight avarice that brought them here in the first place. They could have been great warriors, but life is not one of those who could have, would have, or should have, it is one of those who did. Lamian would not regret letting them die.
It was cold, but it not a cold as biting as on Icer's homeworld, and not as harsh as the black of space. The planet was draped in snow, and Icer saw his breath frosting before his nose. He surveyed his troops, noting Lamien's company forming behind them. There were several hundred of them - the worst of the worst pirates in their fleets. They are weak, but they will serve their purpose well enough, he thought idly. When our foe kills them, I will see just how powerful they truly are. Then, Icer would gauge which transformation he would need to use, if any. Currently, he was in his species' first form, a small, fragile state of being. If the foe was as strong as Lamian had hinted, though, Icer would need to transform at least to his second stage.
He scanned the planet until he caught a power level heading towards the northern region. Smart. There will be plenty of mountains to hide in up there. Whoever this foe is, they know we're coming, and they're scared. "You there!" Icer pointed to a random soldier. He didn't have any of his notable officers with him, as he didn't want anyone important to die in this battle. "Tell the others to form up behind me. We're heading to the mountains. There our quarry awaits. They will likely try to ambush us, so make sure everyone is on guard. Got it?"
"Yessssss sssssir!" the lizard-faced soldier hissed and then flew over to the other soldiers.
Once everyone had been alerted, the soldiers fell into rank behind Icer, and the group flew off. The planet's sun was high in the atmosphere, though impending blizzard clouds obscured it and made it seem almost like night. Icer knew many of his soldiers were shivering, freezing, suffering from hypothermia. But he was at home in the icy air, the space heroin hot in his veins. Icer was ready to get some blood on his hands.
- I remember having a very adverse reaction to Gozon's first section. Reading it over again, it's not quite as bad as I remember it, but it's still pretty bad. Gozon's sections get way better during the rest of the story, though. I want to note that the way that he inserts himself in this story is emblematic of how Canon feels like he's not a part of it, overall. I think Gozon could have done a better job at making Canon tied to the rest of the plot.
- Miki's opening section fails to establish who she is, what kind of person she is, and why she is on the planet. As much as Canon's first section made me cringe, Gozon had the skill to do all of these things. Dedmn did not. I think Miki is easily the worst character in this story, having the personality of drying paint and a backstory convoluted and underexplained. All of the worst aspects of her character come out in the opening Miki section.
- The cold of this planet does not compare to the cold on Arcose. That description serves a myriad of purposes; the most overt two being that this gives some more light backstory about Icer and where he comes from, and it also describes the setting of the planet effectively. Additionally, the idea of being cold or being around cold, particularly for Icer, is important for his character progression in this story.
- I wanted Icer to start in his species first form here so that he could later dramatically transform. His thoughts about this are also quite logical and pragmatic, hinting at some other aspects of his personality. For what it is worth, Icer doesn't use his species first form much at all, if ever, in The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization.
- Icer has a good tactical mind - he has to, to be a pirate lord and a former leader of the PTO. That is why he understands Miki's strategy to hide in the mountains and thus instructs his worthless soldiers to pursue her there. They don't end up heeding his advice to them, though that is mostly because they are the weakest, dumbest, and least capable of his entire crew.
- The impending blizzard is a weather development, but it also has thematic and symbolic implications. This was a reference to the blizzard that appears in chapter 4 of Ain't No Hero, as well, though the blizzards in each story symbolize different things.
Section 4[edit | edit source]
A small legion of soldiers weaved through the mountains, led by what was definitely an Arcosian. They were looking for something, or more likely someone: the other power source who was in the mountains.
Canon lay perched at the peak of one of the taller mountains, burried in snow to keep from sticking out. The frigid temperatures normally would have been too much for any human to handle, but Canon wasn't simply a mere human. Part of his Android abilities included the ability to shut off his senses, including temperature and pain. That skill was an essential when fighting some tougher opponents; Canon can't remember how many times his limbs were torn off in battle. He couldn't simply let the pain faze him.
The soldiers, following an order from their leader, suddenly scattered, sending weak energy blasts from a motley assortment of blasters to draw out their perceived foe. Perfect.
Canon scouted out an incredibly weak one, one that had to use a jet pack to fly and was only about twice as strong as a regular human. He waited for him to fly behind his mountain so that he was safely out of the view of the others before pouncing on him. With a quick grab, Canon twisted the creature's neck so swiftly that his head came clean off, his beheaded body falling perilously into the ice caps below.
He observed the head. It belonged to some sort of lizard-like alien, none that Canon had ever seen before. The kill had been too easy, it made no sense for Canon to have to kill these half-wit warriors, they'd be down for the count just from the frostbite. These warriors were weak on purpose, there was no reason for an Arcosian to have such a weak company about them when they could easily command some of the finest warriors across the universes. This was a trap.
Seven more soldiers spilled out from the other side of the mountain like bees defending their hive. More were quickly on their way.
"Lord Icer, we found something! I'm not sure it's female, though," said one of the soldiers into their PTO Scouter. Sadly, those were the last words he would have the chance to utter. Canon moved at a speed of which none of the soldiers could see him, delivering a punch through the soldier's head and shattering it like a sledge hammer on a watermelon. The others quickly assembled into a horrid formation; they were clearly poorly trained.
"As fun as it is to fight you weeaboos, sadly I have more important priorities," he mocked. He formed a small energy sphere and hurled it at the group, exploding in a huge burst of light and raining bodies.
The blood bath had begun.
Shivering within a small crevice of one of the many mountains, Miki pulled her cloak tighter around her body. She desperately wanted to use her energy to ward off the cold, but restrained herself from doing so, for such an action would prevent her from suppressing her power level and allow her to be detected by the swarm of enemy soldiers. Though her power sensing abilities were well below par compared to some of the stronger warrior she had met, she was easily able to distinguish individual power levels as the swarms of soldiers reached the mountain range. The low power of the individual soldiers was now apparent to Miki, each one not even amounting to a minute fraction of her power. But still, Miki could sense a massive cluster of power in the distance. It would take a large number of these weaker soldiers to amass such an energy. It seemed much more likely there was a handful of extremely powerful beings on the planet.
Miki inched her head out of her hiding spot, seeing several soldiers blindly firing their weapons in the distance. It was tempting for Miki to rush out and eliminate them, simply for being an inconvenience, but she knew better than to rush into fighting. It was much wiser to wait and see what information she could discern from the soldiers. If she was lucky she would be able to isolate one of them and perform a quick interrogation.
While in thought, Miki was distracted by a thunderous explosion emanating from the next mountain over. The blast filled the gap between the mountains, forming a shockwave that Miki felt even from an entire mountain over. A blast such as that was well beyond what any of these simple soldiers was capable of, yet Miki had not detecting any notably large power levels among them.
“What the hell was that?” A deep voice bellowed above Miki. Looking up, Miki noticed a handful of the enemy soldiers floating above her, each on fixated one the dispersing dust cloud of the explosion. Whether Miki had her luck or their stupidity for not being noticed she couldn’t tell, but either way she was grateful. Even more so for the up close look at the armor the soldiers wore, bearing the symbol of the long disbanded PTO. Seeing the symbol filled Miki with rage, as it had ever since her days as a punching bag for the former Emperor of the Universe, Frieza Instantly, any uncertainty of whether or not to engage the soldiers was gone.
Miki thrust her hand forward, firing finger beams from each one of her extremities, each blast piercing straight through one of the soldiers. As the quickly dispatched soldiers fell like pitiful stones, Miki soared up above the mountain, visible to every enemy soldier in the vicinity.
“Hey, you PTO trash!” Miki yelled as she condensed a massive amount of energy in her hand. “I’m gonna burn all of you!” With a flick of her wrist, the condensed energy ball shot form her hand, flying towards a pocket of soldiers hovering over the adjacent mountain.
Suddenly, Canon detected one of the energy signals from before, which had gone silent since, beyond the mountain. From the massive depletion of the other countless sources, the soldiers, Canon could tell that this one was not on their side.
"Good," Canon said aloud. "I just love a three-way." With that, he formed a barrier of energy all around him, humming to the brink of explosion. Releasing it, Canon created a blast that leveled the mountains around him, instantly killing all of the weaker soldiers, leaving only those who were out of range from the worst of the attack. Many of these dropped out of the air like flies, the wind knocked out of them and many of their bones definitely crushed.
Canon could now see every actual serious competitor. Across the way was a female of a humanoid alien species, not donning the armor that the other soldiers had been wearing. This one was definitely the alien who had been fighting the soldiers. Two others hovered in the air above the scene of the wreckage. One was an Arcosian for sure, seeming to be the most powerful of the bunch. The other was some unidentified species of alien, none that Canon cared about anyways. From the looks of it, the two in the air were allied to some degree.
A few seconds after a calm had settled after the deafening explosion, more soldiers had began pouring out from all around. These lucky ones had been stragglers to get into the battle, and lucky for them it meant a few more minutes left to live.
Icer burst through explosions and tumbling limbs, his aura wrapped around him like a cloak. Tracking the abnormal-looking creature attacking his men to the east, the Arcosian pirate closed in. This isn't the one whom I tracked earlier. Curious. He cracked his knuckles and sniffed. Icer felt the ice running through his veins, the ebon-howling blizzard on approach.
Icer found the strange fighter occupied with his soldiers and easily snuck behind him by afterimaging across the sinking sky. With a roar, he materialized behind the alien and pounced forward. Icer grabbed his foe by the neck, jerked him into the air, and threw him down toward the snow. The alien tumbled into the side of a frost-covered mountain; the Aphotic Prince threw a cluster of explosive energy, obscuring his foe from sight. For a blink of the eye, the smoke, the snow, the blood all around dissolved into one and Icer felt like he was home again. He thought of his brother then - his dead brother - and of the blood running down King Cold's royal armor, the despair in his brother's eyes as that golden warrior cut him to pieces. Damn it, what am I doing?! Icer thought furiously, glancing around for any sign of his quarry. This is no time for sentimentality! I didn't even like my brother!
- Gozon's first section is ridiculously long - too long, really - but overall, it's quite good, aside from the "weeaboos" comment. I like how Canon kills all those weak soldiers.
- "For a blink of the eye, the smoke, the snow, the blood all around dissolved into one and Icer felt like he was home again." - one of my favorite lines in Cool Runnings right here. From an aesthetic point-of-view, it's so cool to me. From a characterization point-of-view, this says a lot about the harshness of Icer's upbringing, hinting at why he turned out how he did.
- Icer thinking about his dead brother hints that he loved King Cold, despite what Icer actively thinks on the matter. Additionally, it hints that he is going through PTSD or something similar after witnessing King Cold's death. That there was video feed of King Cold's death is not something in canon - it means that a soldier or a satellite captured the fight of Frieza and King Cold vs. Future Trunks. Indeed, this is the case, as will be seen in the second volume of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Planet Trade Organization (which has not been written, as of me doing this commentary). Icer suffering from PTSD and having conflicted feelings about his older brother allowed me to give him some nice, interesting characterization as well as define (and make unique) his personality.
Section 5[edit | edit source]
"Fuck," Canon thought to himself as he lay in a pile of snow and shards of ice. He hadn't expected the Arcosian's counter attack to be so fast or strong, but he didn't have time to just lay there. Rather than just flying upwards like an idiot wanting to get shot down, he summoned his ki into two compressed spheres of opposite energy. He let them fly towards each other, and with a hideous ripping sound he created his own portal. Sucking himself into it, he appeared faster than the speed of light behind the Arcosian and drove his leg into the small of his back, sending him flying.
"Oh no you don't!" Canon taunted, flying after his quarry. He grabbed the startled alien's tail and, after swinging him around a bit, sent him flying into a glacier below. "I think it's time to heat it up a little bit."
The Android brought his hands out before him and prepared an attack. What came out, though, wasn't a ki blast, yet rather highly pressured jets of flame twice the temperature of the surface of the sun, turning the glacier and everything near into a gigantic swimming pool, hopefully boiling the Arcosian within.
Things were escalating much quicker than Miki had anticipated. Following her Full Power Energy Shot, another massive blast leveled several mountains at once. That was followed by more powerful bursts of energy and what appeared to be intense energy beams that emitted an intense heat that could be felt from Miki's distant position. There didn't appear to be anymore PTO soldiers remaining, minus the ones not fortunate enough the die after being shot out of the sky. Who had blasted them form the sky Miki was unsure of, and the floating debris from the explosions made it difficult to make out the remaining players. Needless to say, Miki was lacking some vital intel on the situation. Perhaps she had been a little premature in her attack. But it was too late to hide now.
In an attempt to gain a better vantage point on the battle, Miki dashed through the air, arching around the heated energy blasts. Before rushing into the situation further, she needed to at least know who or what she was dealing with. She kept wary of the second large energy signature, almost sure that one was with the PTO soldiers. With luck, Miki would be ignored by that player until she figured out what was going on in this forsaken tundra of a planet.
Lamian absorbed the smell of battle through his pores, ?Ah, I love the smell of plasma in the morning. He fired a shot in no direction in particular, just watching the carnage unfold. That's when the unthinkable happened. A stray shot hit his cloak.
Now, in order to understand his actions here, you must understand the character of Lamian. Lamian is a businessman, a very good one and very proud. This cloak was weaved from the finest silks in the known galaxy, rimmed with the finest cloth, and designed by a snazzy secret society with only one known member still living. It was unique, and costed a lot of credits. This cloak was Lamian's favorite possession, it showed how far he had come from the slums of Yardrat. But now this cloak, HIS cloak, had been destroyed by some two cent ruffian. He was pissed.
"THEY SINGED MY CLOAK!" Lamian screamed, "HONOR GUARD, KILL THEM! NO MERCY!" The Guard yelled and hollered, and heeded the order. It was unwise to displease an angry Lamian. The Guard rained fire from the skies, aiming at the two ruffians, who the group had seen as the most likely culprits.
Soldiers fell from the sky like lazy snowflakes. Icer's ears were ringing; everything was in slow motion, like he was moving through life in invisible gel; everything was quiet. It was cold. He needed more space heroin. Below him, the glaciers melted and pooled as water where Icer's weird-looking foe had tried to douse him in fire. The Aphotic Prince stretched his jaw and drew up his ki around him before speeding off towards the creature shooting fire.
The being saw Icer as he approached, and so the two charged at one another in the air, trading blows in an icy blur. There is something off about this one, Icer thought. His punches feel different. Icer created a sonic burst that pushed back his opponent, stunning him briefly. Then, the Arcosian rushed forward, creating spikes of ki between his fingers, and punching at the enemy. When his foe went to block, Icer stuck him in the forearms with his ki, teleported behind him and kicked him away. As he went to pursue, however, Icer saw a power level flash across his scouter. The same level I saw before. Lamian's quarry.
That was when some of the mountains exploded for apparently little reason, but Icer liked that because explosions are, in general, rad. Lord Icer pulled out a needle from his back pocket and stuck himself in the arm with it. At once, warm space heroin filled his veins again, and he was happy. He didn't have to think about anything he didn't want to. Now let's go kill us a bitch.
She hovered over the destroyed mountains, watching the fighting going on between the other aliens. Icer found it easy to sneak up on her in his drug-addled state. Before she knew it, Icer had wrapped his tail around her neck and tightened it, sucking the breath out of her. He punched her in the small of the back, then did a front flip and released her in the air before shooting a green energy beam at her. Before it hit her, Icer teleported in front of the alien tumbling through the air and kicked her into his attack. Satisfied, Icer began to purr. I'm a space pirate, he thought, smiling. Now I just need to find some space rum and it'll be alright.
- Lamian's scene in this section is hilarious; it's one of my favorite non-Icer scenes in the entire story. Great stuff.
- The opening paragraph of Icer's scene in this section highlights how one who has just been beaten up or had a large explosion go off near them is often disassociated from the battle around them. I thought it was interesting for someone so outwardly hard and brutal to be so mentally fragile on the inside. Notice how, as everything is in slow motion, it is cold. And this makes Icer crave space heroin. Space heroin is his crutch, the way he deals with his mental pain.
- What is off about Canon, to Icer, is the fact that Canon is an android, though Icer doesn't realize this. He wouldn't know what an android is, of course. But he does realize that something is odd about Canon.
- Notice again how there are many references to snowy and icy things, from the way the soldiers fall from the sky (how Icer describes that to himself, notably), to how the blow exchange between Icer and Canon is described.
- "At once, warm space heroin filled his veins again, and he was happy. He didn't have to think about anything he didn't want to." - again, this is explaining how Icer is taking drugs as a mental crutch. But they can't really be used like that, so there are obviously problems that result from him trying to use a non-comfort item like that.
- "She hovered over the destroyed mountains, watching the fighting going on between the other aliens. Icer found it easy to sneak up on her in his drug-addled state." - this is a slight against Miki's awareness on Icer's part.
- A lot of the comedy in Icer's scene here, particularly in the final two paragraphs, was influenced by Lamian's previous comedic scene.
- Icer does a lot of purring, but I don't think he's actually purring like a cat. He's on drugs, dude - he acts weird as hell.
Section 6[edit | edit source]
It had happened so fast, taking the young warrior off guard. By the time Miki even realized one of the combatants had broken off of their engagement and set their sights on her, her vision had become a rapid blur of motion as a series of sharp pains erupted all over her body. By the time Miki's vision became constant enough for her to make out what she was looking at, she found herself heralding towards a massive energy attack.
"Oh damn." Miki shrieked. With little time to react, Miki thrust her arm to her flank, a powerful burst of ki erupting form her hand. The blast send Miki off course, maneuvering her just out of the path of the oncoming attack. Miki could still feel the heat from the immense ki blast as she narrowly avoided contact. The blast flew down the to planet below, causing a massive explosion that threatened to singe Miki's eyelashes from below.
With the intimidate danger evaded, Miki turned to see several more massive explosions crush several of the remaining mountains. It was crazy, within the span of a few minutes, almost the entire mountain range had been reduced to a crater dotted wasteland. Miki had no idea what was going on, there were PTO here, several massive energy sources, and from at least from what she had gathered, three separate sides to the conflict. The PTO had engaged someone else before Miki had made her move. Whether that party was friendly or foe had yet to be seen. Hopefully, that had not been the one to attack Miki. Only adding to the situation was the fact Miki had been so disoriented by the swift ambush attack she had completely lost track of where her attacker was.
"This is just fantastic." Miki began frantically searching for her adversary, but the dozens of energy signatures and increasing amount of snowy debris made it difficult to pinpoint their location. "Can't anyone take a mother blasting second to calm their ki so I can figure out what is going on!"
If Canon could feel pain, he'd be feeling it right now. A lot. The Arcosian had rushed him from out of nowhere, and with some sort of ki blade covering his hands he slashed through Canon's forearms. Before he could retaliate, the alien had sent him spiraling towards the ground with a kick from the backside, before quickly losing interest in him. That tore it for him.
The Android watched his arms, which were leaking red oil from the gash, exposing his bio-metallic innards to the cold air, slowly repair theselves. He had a limited form of regeneration, though it took time and, if it was bad, extra metal. Luckily, he wouldn't seem to be needing any of that. He took the few moments of peace that he had to set up a sort of strategy, or more accurately, his next quarry. The Arcosian was battling one of the other higher powers that he had detected earlier, a female alien. He decided to let them settle it out. Canon instead turned his attention to another side of the battle, where more soldiers, these ones wearing different uniforms, poured out of the sky. They were being directed by an angry, short alien of the likes that Canon had seen before.
"Lardtwats, were they? No, Yardrats," he thought. They were a curious race, pretty weak, though they could use a form of teleportation more efficient than Canon's own. The Yardrat was dressed funny, wearing (now smoldering) clothes that seemed to be of a high make. This was an expensive little bugger, yet he had dressed in a suit to go to a bar fight. Canon could sense no power of any consequence from him, so he decided to have a little fun.
Flying high in the air, he shot one of the high-density energy balls towards the Yardrat and cluster of soldiers, all of whom were blasting like crazy. Instinctively, they all dodged, including the Yardrat. "Good," Canon thought. He rushed down there, breaking the bodies of a few soldiers while forming his next energy ball. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that his arms were now healed. As the Yardrat was still disoriented, Canon shot the other ball right in front of the Yardrat, forming a portal right before him. Before the alien could escape, Canon rushed and shoved him through the portal himself, before jettisoning away as it closed.
Across the battlefield, as Canon observed, another portal opened up, dropping the Yardrat in the midst of the fight between the alien girl and the Arcosian. Perfect, now all sides were acquainted except for him and the girl. Their meeting could wait, however, as Canon now had a swarm of soldiers to take care of.
Miki blinked twice, for a moment wondering if he has hit her head too hard and was beginning to hallucinate. In the blink of an eye, an overly dressed Yardart appeared before her, seemingly confused and infuriated. Miki had encountered Yardarts before, recalling them to be weak race but possessing a powerful transportation technique. In fact Miki had based her own transportation technique off the Yardart's ability, though she had only so far managed a limited imitation.
Before Miki could question the steaming Yardart, another familiar species floated in Miki's field of view. Though sporting a different color scheme than her former torturer, the late Frieza, Miki always recognized an Arcosian. Just seeing another one of those shiny craniums filled Miki with rage, but having taken out her initial anger on the space fodder that came to her in the form of low level soldiers, Miki was able to restrain herself from making any rash decisions.
"So am I safe to assume I can blame all this chaos on the Arcosian?" Miki shouted over the Yardart's furious babbling.
Lord Icer came roaring at the female alien again, this time with both arms outstretched, firing rapid-fire energy shots at her. He noticed that Lamian was about to be attacked by her, so Icer pressed forward to protect his friend. Foolish Lamian. He doesn't know who he's dealing with. She'll kill him if I don't do something.
The space heroin was still hot in his veins; Icer's mind was as clear as a silver dawn. He bit his lip as he flew through the explosions he had unleashed upon his foe. Not seeing her amongst the fire and smoke, Icer used his scouter to scan the surrounding area. Catching a hint of a huge power level, the Arcosian went dashing off towards the ruined mountains, where many of his remaining soldiers were still located. When Icer arrived there, he noticed the weird-looking alien he had recently fought against destroying all of his lackwit lackeys.
Icer raised his fist to deal with that alien once and for all when he felt himself being punched in the back. He felt himself falling forward until he landed in a crater of snow and dead minions. Trying to stand up, Icer felt himself being hit again, this time in the back of the head. He was seeing spots and stars and could hardly breathe. Icer tried to look behind him to see what had attacked him, but he was met only with another punch that knocked him over again. I need to power up, he realized. I need to be in my final form to deal with whoever this is.
His opponent was moving too fast for Icer to see it. All he felt was the pain of their fists and kicks connecting with his pale body. But soon, his body began to numb up, the space heroin evaporated from his veins, and all Icer felt was the cold.
- Gozon's scene in this section is really good.
- Waffle should have gone before my scene in this section, but that dude was inconsistent as fuck. He could go a month without editing if we weren't careful. So I just went instead. As such, Miki's line just before my scene begins doesn't get answered. Oh well.
- I am rather fond of the phrase "lackwit lackeys".
- I set up Miki attacking Icer at the end of my scene to allow Dedmn another entrance. I didn't want it to just be "my guy crushes your guy in my scene" and vice versa. Gozon did a good job with Canon taking some damage in his first scene of this section, and that influenced me to have Icer damaged in my scene.
- The last sentence of my scene is a reference to the last line of Jon XIII from A Dance with Dragons.
Section 7[edit | edit source]
The Arcosian had taken his eyes off of Canon for one second, yet that was one second too many. Teleporting behind him, Canon had launched an assault on the alien. He had seen what he had been trying to do. Canon was well aware of the Arcosians' transformations, and he would not let this one transform. He had made that mistake once before, and was nearly beaten to death before he activated his own full capacity. He had no plans for such a drastic measure in this little skirmish.
Forming a powerful blast of ki in his palm, Canon unleashed it at the ground before the Arcosian, creating a large, deep hole with no bottom in sight. He grabbed the off-balance alien by the scruff of his neck and drove him down into the bottom of the abyss with a satisfying crash. Flying out of the hole, Canon made released a volley of energy spheres and flames, causing the ground to cave in on itself and flood with melted snow, forming a muddy grave for the Arcosian.
The boy sensed for an energy reading, yet could not find one down there. Whether that meant he was dead, had miraculously found some way to disguise his ki, of his signal couldn't penetrate that far into the ground (which he knew wasn't the case), Canon didn't care. At the very least, he had stalled the Arcosian, which led him to his next plan: destroying the planet.
All Lamian could feel was pain. Teleportation could cause quite the strain on a body unprepared for the ripping apart of time and space. Lamian had teleported many times before, but this was only the second time he had been teleported against his will, and while this was nothing compared to the Yardrat Inquisition's teletorture, it still hurt. His brain was scrambled, to put it in simple terms, and all he could do was scream and babble. This took a few moments to wear off, but many things could happen in a few moments, one of which was an attack on his ally Icer, at least, he remembered him to be his ally, memory got so confusing after teleportation.
Now, usually, Lamian couldn't combat enemies without dying, but today was different, he had his gun. A WM-17 Officer Model Energy Obliterator, or Mister Happy, as Lamian had nicknamed it. This weapon would easily kill any low-level combatant, and injure major opponents. He removed Mister Happy from its holster, and decided who he would shoot. Then he saw the dirty mongrel who teleported him, and smirked.
While contemplating his next moves, Canon felt a blast of energy hit him in the back. Hard. Looking down, the adolescent noticed that a hole, albeit small, had pierced through the center of his chest, just inches away from his mechanical heart. Luckily, the blast hadn't pierced anything important. Thanks to his improved body structure from when he became an android, his spine had been rendered a vestigial structure. Its destruction would not leave Canon paralyzed.
Nevertheless, Canon fell down. He was lucky enough that he had previously shut off his pain receptors. If not, the damage he felt would have been exruciating. He needed time to regenerate, yet he didn't think he'd manage to get any while laying hunched over in the open. The blast had come from the gun of the small Yardrat. Canon had never seen a gun quite so powerful, but then again piercing this body of Canon's was not that much work. Had he have been in his katchin body, the attack would have merely bounced off.
After his body had started to repair and he felt he could move again without further damaging his systems, Canon decided his next attack. The Yardrat was still gloating over his perceived killing of the boy. He used that to his advantage. Mustering up enough energy to teleport, he once again appeared right behind the alien. His regeneration needed metal to make up for what was lost, and in the Yardrat's hand was the perfect source.
Yanking the blaster from the surprised Yardrat's hand, Canon placed it into his wound, which soon began analyzing it before breaking it down and melting it. With that, Canon was repaired and the alien left, to his knowledge, defenseless. That was not all, however. His system indicated something else after he had absorbed the blaster: an upgrade to his own projectiles. Taking the data received from the gun, his own ki blasts had become more powerful and efficient. He could smear the alien across the slushy tundra with one weak blast, but he decided not to. He needed to destroy the planet; he didn't have the time to waste on such a creature.
Today was a bad day for Lamian. His men died more than usual, his gun was absorbed into a holed man, and his cloak was singed. This planet was clearly unlucky. So, Lamian did the thing any heroic commander would do. He called his main commander, the tree man with a name Lamian hadn't bothered to remember, and told him his plan of action.
"Whatever-your-name-is, you're in charge."
Then Lamian ran. Well, he didn't run, he had the power of instant teleportation anywhere, anytime. He poofed to his ship and entered the password for the engines. He installed it to simply spite the being who would eventually kill him and steal his ship. Vengeance could come in very small pieces. As the ship lifted off, he sent a message to the fleet hovering over the world.
?you c those ex-mountains with the booms and stuf? Fire all weapons at that, plz, thx
- Big L
ps make me a space martini, ill be up soon
It was hot near the center of the world, and dark too. Nameless things crawled through the sludge and mud and rock miles beneath the planet's surface; to separate himself from this ghastly creatures, Icer had created a huge energy attack that had sent an oblong gash streaking from where his opponent had thrown him all the way to the planet's core. Now he stood, covered in mud and blood and bruises, hovering over the planet's mantle, live molten rocks moved in torrents like a great underground stream. Amongst the heat and the low-fires of his destruction, Icer thrust his arms out to either side and began to scream. A blue-black aura materialized around him, and electrical sparks bounced and exploded across the air. From a gash on his forehead, blood seeped out, coating his face in scarlet tears. It's time I end this little game.
Steam rose from the exposed mantle as Icer transformed in a flash of milk-white light. His screams subsided, and the Aphotic Prince stepped out from behind a screen of smoke. Feeling his wrists, Icer began to stretch. It's not often I have to transform into my final form, Icer mused in his mind. This will be fun.
The Arcosian found his way to the surface and was met with a blast of frigid cold. The night was dark, a great blizzard roaring through the ruins of the mountains. Dead soldiers covered the broken ground like bloody garbage. It was quiet, save for the wind. And then, Icer saw the bursts of light. One after another, they flashed into sight before being swallowed up by the blizzard. Then, Icer felt the ground shake and rumble, causing him to nearly fall over. Explosions they were, and as he watched more and more of the lights, Icer realized they were coming from above - from space. Damn that Yardrat! Icer thought, angrily. Doesn't he know I'm still down here?! Maybe he knows I can breathe in space, but does that fool expect me to survive this planet exploding?! This Yardrat may be as dumb as he looks, after all.
The darkness and cold about him, Icer began to fly off in the distance when he saw an alien hovering in the air. The female Lamian wanted me to kill, he noted. Well, if she's going to die, I'll have it be by my hand, not the fleet's. So then did the pirate lord rush at the female alien, noting with his scouter, that she hadn't powered up from their previous fight. With Icer hundreds of times stronger now than he was back when he clearly overwhelmed her previously, he expected this fight to be a short and bloody one.
- Gozon's first section is good - I really like the part where he throws Icer deep into the planet's abyss. That was a cool, unexpected move. I don't like how Canon wants to destroy the planet for seemingly no reason, though.
- Waffle's second scene in this section is one of the best scenes in Cool Runnings.
- In my opinion, my scene in this section is the best single scene in all of Cool Runnings.
- "From a gash on his forehead, blood seeped out, coating his face in scarlet tears." - that sentence is a reference to this.
- The blizzard has arrived by my scene. Note that that's when Icer has transformed and almost everyone has died.
- Thematically, I was working a lot with the setting in this scene. Lots of descriptions of how the planet's core looks, and how it looks once Icer returns to the surface. That's tied to his transformation, his appearance, the tone of this section leading up to my scene. There's a general air of despair and barely holding on, which is what Icer gets a taste of when he's hit with the blast of cold when he returns to the surface and sees all the carnage. The soundless, dread-inducing bursts of plasma coming towards the planet from Lamian's fleet is just about the coolest thing ever, in my opinion, and it really boosts the ominous atmosphere of the setting.
- At the end of this section, I note that Miki hasn't powered up yet. That'll be a theme in the next few sections, as I try to get Dedmn to power her up. It ultimately got so bad - he might not have been reading the story, in truth - that I had to message him on his talk page to get her to power up. Icer is hundreds of times stronger now. That is a fact. Miki, in her current form cannot even touch him. That is a fact. There is no speculation, no grey area, no explaining it away. If she doesn't power up, she will die. It's that simple. And Dedmn didn't understand that. I'm not sure why. But you'll see, for the next few sections, he refuses to power her up for whatever reason, and the story suffers mightily because of his bad writing.
Section 8[edit | edit source]
Retreating to the outskirts of the mountains, Miki transported away from the conflict to try and make sense of what was happening. It was obvious the Yardart and filthy Arcosian were her primary threats, the army of lesser beings proving themselves as more of an annoyance than anything else. However there was obviously another powerful figure at play, one whom Miki was unable to sense. It was unknown to her if this mysterious third party was friend or foe. If they proved to be the latter retreat was Miki's best option, as having to deal with three powerful figures would prove as a notable health hazard. This fact only became more prominent when one of the large power sources suddenly increased, resonating frighting power.
"Well, better see if this is two on two." Miki muttered to herself. "Just hope I get the chance to beat that Arcosian to death with his own tail."
With her strategy decided, Miki again teleported back into the carnage. Immediately she was faced with a surprisingly human-like being, one that greatly resembled a young man. The being appeared to be in mid strike having paused at Miki's sudden appearance. Judging by the odd burnt smell in the air, the Yardrat was only a short distance behind Miki, likely the intended recipient of the attack.
"Umm..." Miki stammered unsure of how to proceed. "Friend or foe?"
Canon sensed an explosion of power from deep within the planet, which promptly began to fly at incredible speeds towards the surface. According to his calculations, the power came from exactly where he had blasted the Arcosian to hell. His calculations also indicated a 99% chance that that was the Arcosian, a 1% chance that he had accidentally released an imprisoned space pirate, and a 100% chance that he was f*cked. At least, at his current power output.
Suddenly, another power began approaching his direction. The only being left on the playing field that could reach that velocity and that he wasn't already monitoring was the alien girl. Turning, he saw the girl stop her flight mere meters from his position. She looked slightly confused, but managed to utter two words: "Friend or foe?"
Canon was distraught at the girl's naive question. Surely she had no idea what she was dealing with. It didn't matter to Canon, though. What did, however, was that the girl had been luring the Arcosian to her. Suddenly, the monster appeared and all three combatants were face to face for the first time.
She is even stupider than I thought, Icer mused as he watched the female alien fly over to the male one. She hasn't powered up yet. Maybe she's already at her full power. That would be rather unfortunate for her.
The air smelled of plasma and glass, and smoke rose from all directions. Lamian's fleet continued to bombard the planet, but their energy salvos were hitting the ground too far away from the two hovering beings. They are safe, for now.
Icer sped over to the two, and he noticed the girl was speaking. But it didn't matter what she was saying; he had a job to do, and he needed to finish it.
"Lamian sends his regards," Icer said coldly as he reached the two. He teleported up to the girl and then punched her hard in the chest. As she fell down to the smoldering ground below, Icer turned to face the other alien. "You're too slow," he said. "I'll kill her first."
Icer then sped off after the falling female alien. Snow was falling on the scorched ground, melting and steaming as soon as it touched the glassy surface. Still, it was cold. Lamian's plasma attacks were only a superficial heat, a fake heat. At that moment, Icer felt himself longing for some space heroin again. He shivered. I won't end up like my brother. I'll kill this foe, and I'll survive. And then I'll treat myself to some high-grade space heroin.
The thought of that almost made Icer purr.
- There is literally no reason why Miki didn't power up in the first scene. She sensed that Icer is stronger now. She couldn't hold him back when he was hundreds of time weaker. Why the hell isn't she powering up?! It's so fucking dumb. Horrible plotting.
- Icer's anger at Lamian is my anger at Waffle for disappearing and barely editing the story anymore (Lamian has only one more scene in the entire story!). Still, I don't think Icer would ultimately kill Lamian for what he's done; the two go too far back for that.
- I again note how Miki hasn't powered up yet to hint at Dedmn to power her up, because I can't stall much longer. If they get into a fight, Miki must die, unless I do something drastic. By all rights, she should die. But, killing someone else's character in a roleplay is frowned upon, even when it's logical and there's no good alternative.
- "Lamian sends his regards" - this is a reference to this chapter from A Storm of Swords. The line I'm referencing is when Roose Bolton stabs Rob Stark in the chest and says "Jaime Lannister sends his regards".
- "You're too slow" - this is a reference to a taunt Sonic the Hedgehog says in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
- The false heat, the melting snow, and Icer's fear of dying like his brother and nephews are interrelated thematically, and they also work together to show something about Icer's personality.
Section 9[edit | edit source]
Again utilizing her limited teleportation capabilities, Miki appeared directly in front of the oncoming Arcosian, driving her fist directly into his face as he sped towards her and sending him in the opposite direction. Following up her surprise counter strike, Miki extended her index finger in her target's direction and began firing off a rapid succession to Death Beams.
Lamian finally arrived on his main ship, the massive grey beast known as the Hobo Karate. He walked forward as his leal servants stripped him of his armor. He gasped to himself as he realized that he forgot to do something. "Hey, did we tell the other guys to retreat yet?"
A small space badger, who had reproduced several times already and was suckling no less than three cubs, spoke up, "No, sir."
"Frig. Fire harder so they don't get angry at us, plus screw those other guys down there." Wait, am I forget- OH RIGHT DAMN "Also, try not to shoot at Icer. Is he still alive? I think he's still alive."
Lamian put out his hand, but nothing was given to him.
"WHERE'S MY SPACE MARTINI?!"
The death beams felt like the low-powered water jets in Lamian's hot tub. Why won't she power up? That perplexed Icer. When he had been thousands of times weaker the last time they had met, he had easily dealt with her too. If she doesn't power up soon, I'll kill her without even trying. Icer laughed. I wonder what she did to Lamian that made that Yardrat want to kill her, though. Maybe she's a space hooker.
"Hey space hooker," Icer shouted as he rushed towards the female alien. "You really don't know what you're dealing with, do you?"
He kicked her in the chin, teleported behind her and did a front flip, slamming his tail against the alien's face. When she spun backwards, Icer created half a dozen afterimages. Simultaneously, the fake clones charged up energy beams and prepared to shoot them at her. It was just then that Lamian's fleet began to target the female alien, sending another volley of energy her way.
- I was more than annoyed at Miki's opening scene in this section. Icer just powered up and she didn't. She literally can't do what she just did unless Icer allows her to (and he has no reason to). I wouldn't mind if she beat up on Icer if she powered up, but she didn't. It just doesn't make any sense, and I've given Dedmn two overt warnings in the text already. If he didn't have her power up soon after this, I was legitimately going to kill Miki - and I didn't want to, because it would end the roleplay, but at some point the reality that Icer is hundreds of times stronger than Miki is currently can no longer be ignored.
- Lamian is great in his scene. It's well-written, witty, and advances both the plot while also revealing some stuff about his character. This is great stuff. It's just a pity that this is the last Lamian scene in the entire story and he doesn't get proper closure for his character, because I think the story would be much better with more Lamian in it.
- First paragraph of my scene is basically my last warning to Dedmn to power up Miki.
- Note that Lamian's fleet has fired on Miki, for in Miki's next section Dedmn completely forgets that.
- Icer calls Miki a space hooker for no reason in particular. Looking back on this scene, I wish I would have used a different word than hooker - though I wouldn't want to change the type of person he is calling her. Hooker just sounds weird to me now.
Section 10[edit | edit source]
Canon was being ignored again. But he was fine with it; he could take it. Because he's not their villain, he's a side character. An Android.
Deciding to stay with his original plan, Canon assessed the amount of strength he'd need to actually destroy this planet, accounting for the possibility of him having to still fight the other combatants. And that power happened to cap right around Canon's maximum strength in this body. Figured.
Teleporting away before summoning all of his strength, Canon began charging his body to use its full capacity. The process took a while, meaning that he'd be completely defenseless for a short period of time. That was why he teleported away from the battle to a frigid desert on the other side of the planet. He couldn't be caught off guard.
Canon felt his energy increase exponentially. The heat of millions of over-processing computers enveloped him, melting any ice, metals, and even stones around him. Flesh began to drip from his face under the heat, giving him a strangely painful but pleasurable feeling, as if he was taking a really hot shower. Like a very hot one, about 103,540.73 degrees Farenheit. All was going well, the transformation should have been over halfway complete. That was until he heard the mechanical voice in his head.
"13 updates need to be performed. Would you like to restart the system now?"
"Noo." Canon muttered, halfway transformed.
"Updates will be performed. System will restart in five seconds."
"No no no."
"Fuuuuu-" Canon began to say before shutting down. He was then left there, grossly disfigured from his half-baked transformation, upgrading to Windows 64 and iOS 57 and whatnot. He stood there for a good five minutes, before the sound of the Apple startup screen played, signalling his awakening. Confused, he let out a digital shriek, sounding something like, "01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100101 00101100 00100000 01000100 01100101 01100010 01110010 01100001 00100001," before promptly remembering what he had been doing.
"Oh right, transforming. Destroying the planet. That stuff," he said to himself, before resuming his transformation. The heat turned up again, and he was surrounded with a sphere of light. With an incredible final burst of energy, Canon appeared in his final form.
Her vision dazed by the brutal tail whip she received from the Arcosian, Miki barely noticed the incoming projectiles in time to teleport away. Even having narrowly escaped the lethal blast radius of the attack, Miki quickly figured out she drastically underestimated the power of the attack, as she still managed to be swept away by the ensuing shock wave. Rolling along the tundra, Miki forced herself to a halt by digging her heals into the frozen soil.
"Well that hurt." Miki grumbled as she began dusting off her uniform. "I guess I can't afford to hold back anymore." Tensing her muscles, Miki began concentrating her energy, allowing her veins to flow with immense power as her sky blue aura began growing and turning an increasingly lighter shade of blue. A slow rumbles escaped from between Miki's lips, steadily growing with her energy until it became a fierce battle cry. Miki's now snow white aura seemingly exploded, causing the ground beneath her feet to give way. In mere moments, Miki's energy had formed a massive crater, with her standing confidently at the center. Her intense white aura flowed like white fire, her silver hair flowing wildly as her steely eyes gazed at the Arcosian in the distance. "Now I'm mad, but I'll give you one last chance to walk away before I come over there and beat you to death with your own god damn tail."
I won't end up like my brother. I'll restore our family's name. Icer soared past the alien who had just transformed, but since his new appearance hadn't been described, the Aphotic Prince had no idea what the hell he looked like now. He came to a stop just in front of the girl, who had finally decided to power up. Creating an energy sword in one hand and a ball of ki in the other, Icer rushed at her, slicing with his right hand and shooting a stream of energy balls at her with the other. Suffice to say, the female alien could not dodge both attacks at once, and she was hit several times with the ki balls, stunning her. Icer sliced at her hair with his sword and grazed her cheek with the energy, slicing it open.
- Canon didn't have to be ignored or a "side character" if he injected himself into the plot more. Just randomly appearing on the planet won't result in a premiere role.
- It was good to see Miki power up, but that doesn't fix the previous few sections' bad plotting of her not powering up.
- Canon's transformation wasn't described, hence Icer (me) had no idea what Canon looked like. So I made a joke out of it. Had Canon's new appearance been described, there would have been no joke there.
- Icer doesn't want to end up like King Cold. He wants to restore his family's name. This is much like Cooler's motivation in his first movie. Also, Icer's fear of dying like King Cold has put him in a variety of moods - sometimes fear, sometimes panic - but in this case, he is determined. He is confident from transforming, so he is not so afraid of dying at this moment. He is telling himself that he won't die like King Cold, not "I can't die!". There's a big difference between those two phrases.
Section 11[edit | edit source]
The Arcosian's frontal assault caught Miki off guard, forcing her to fall back. Several hard hitting ki blasts struck her, but Miki managed to bring up her arms and block the shots from scoring any substantial hits. The blasts did however create an opening for the Arcosian to close the distance between the two warriors. Miki felt a concentrated stream of energy cleanly cut across her check, leaving a shallow wound. The Arcosian's assault would however, not go unanswered. With a hard upward kick to her adversary's jaw, Miki created a small space between her and the Arcosian. Following up her counter strike, Miki thrust her hand forward, an individual Death Beam firing from each finger. The short distance left the Arcosian no time to effectively dodge, the shotgun like attack striking hard.
All was going to plan, that is, if there was a plan. In his 100% Form he wouldn't have much time, but destroying the planet would be an ease in this form. Sure, his skin had melted off of his face like candle wax, but that change in aesthetic was a small forfeit for the power he now possessed. Canon launched a sphere of extremely condensed energy at the ground miles before him, which enlarged and exploded upon contact. An ear-shattering blast engulfed the area as an entire chunk of the planet was sent into orbit. Charging up more of these spheres, Canon prepared to turn their battlefield into an asteroid field. Sending more flying into every direction, he also launched one straight at the core of the planet, tunneling through the crust rapidly before striking through the magma and then the core, coming out through the other side. Earthquakes and rumbling could be heard and felt everywhere. The icy planet would soon be shattered and scattered across the forces of space.
The energy beams tore into Icer's flesh, but he didn't have time to feel pain. Rushing forward, Icer slammed into the alien and caused her to shoot to the ground, creating a crater in her wake. As she struggled to get up, Icer teleported up to her and grabbed her by the neck. Raising her up to his face, blood dripping from his wounded arms, Icer snarled. He saw her go to talk and silenced her with a headbutt. Then, he threw her into the air, teleported up to her and bicycle-kicked her back to the ground. On her stomach, the aliens struggled to move when Icer placed his foot on her back, pinning her to the snow, and wrapped his tail around her neck.
- Dedmn thought Icer's energy stream cut Miki's face; it was the energy sword that did so. I'm not faulting him here; I wasn't clear on which attack did so, but the truth is the truth.
- My scene in this chapter is really, really short. I don't even have any italicized thoughts (this is the only one of my scenes like that!). I did this for one reason and one reason only. I was burned out. This fight's pacing needed to pick up and I can only do so much in my scenes. I can't really have Miki do much of anything, so the shorter I kept it, the quicker the pacing went along (to allow Dedmn to write a response section) to go with how an actual fight would play out.
- Icer is covered in grizzly wounds and a lot of blood in this scene. That has aesthetic/symbolic meaning.
Section 12[edit | edit source]
The vicious onslaught of melee attacks from the Arcosian ravaged Miki's body. Despite her superior durability, Miki knew she wouldn't hold up to a continuous beating. Miki began devising her counter assault, the Arcosian's tail slipping around her neck as she thought. It was clear that her opponent matched her in strength, meaning it was anyone's fight. But that still left the human or Sayian that oddly lacked an energy signature and the Yardrat. It was still unclear which side the human/sayian was on, though Miki was beginning to believe he may have nefarious intentions. The Yardrat was obviously aligned with the Arcosian, the mass of soldiers apparently a conglomerate of their units.
Miki's thoughts were interrupted as a horrendous explosion sounded off in the distance. A low rumble could be heard, gradually increasing in volume until a massive was of snow and ice could be seen raging towards the two combatants at an alarming speed. Miki could only speculate as to the origins of the blast, but if he had the guess the human type creature was to blame.
"I'd hurry before you become a fuckedcicle." Miki taunted as she teleported out from under the the Arcosian.
Now safely floating above the ice wave, Miki immediately became aware of several massive pulses of energy dotting the planet. At the current rate of destruction, is was unlikely the planet itself would hold up to the fighting. There seemed to be no pattern to the blasts, just a random scattering on destruction. Miki began debating with herself if now was the time to flee, though it seemed cowardly to run and let this senseless violence occur on some other planet. Perhaps next time billions of innocent lives would be lost as a result. Still unsure of her choice, Miki momentarily ignored the Arcosian, speeding towards the apparent point of origin of the planet shattering blasts.
Canon sensed an energy approaching his position. With the level of power that it possessed, it was most likely the girl.
"She's no threat to me in this form," Canon said to himself. But just to be on the safe side, he hurled a massive energy beam at her direction, which was also consequently the direction of the Arcosian. It seemed his opponents were all lined up just for him. He could kill two birds with one stone.
Then Canon remembered the Yardrat, who had fled to his spaceship above and had began raining down his own terror and destruction on the planet. That move, though, had seemed to ostracize him from the battle.
"Not to worry," Canon thought, "I have the perfect solution."
Summoning his usual energy spheres, he teleported to the opposite side of the planet from where the Yardratzian's fleet was located in space. Charging up an incredible beam of energy, Canon launched it through the planet, leaving yet another hole and furthering the series of cracks that had formed on the icy planet's surface. The blast easily passed through the entire planet, aiming straight for the ships.
It was a soundless explosion, one he felt ripple through his bones. Lamian's fleet was shattered and retreating. A tangle of metal drifted past Icer lazily, flickering red and gold as it melted. Debris from the planet was screaming towards him from the other way, where a yellow-orange gash had replaced the planet. Icer sighed, picking at one of the wounds on a forearm. Hopefully, they can't breathe in space.
He was tired of this fight, tired of everything. Lamian had wanted him to kill the girl, and now Lamian was leaving him. This is his fight, not mine. I could leave. I could board my ship and return home to my treasure and space heroin and Rowa. That sounded nice. Yet, it gave him pause all the same. A warrior doesn't think like that; a leader doesn't run.
Icer wasn't a coward. He stretched out his muscles again and then shot off towards the ruins of the planet, past dead ships and cracked floating rocks, to find his quarry. A girl and a creature, he thought, I'll kill them both for what they've done.
- I have no idea why Dedmn thought Miki has superior durability to Icer. I'm not saying Icer is more durable either, but how does he even put forth a statement like that without any facts? As far as what's been posted, it is not clear who is more durable.
- "I'd hurry before you become a fuckedcicle." - without a doubt, the most cringeworthy line in all of Cool Runnings.
- Gozon put forth in his scene in this section that Miki is weaker than than Canon. Since he earlier stated that Icer was stronger than Canon (or, very close in power to Canon), Gozon is putting forth the idea that Miki is the weakest of the three characters remaining on the planet.
- One thing I think we did really well in this story is having the planet explode quickly. No "five minutes left of Namek" bullshit. Nice, clean pacing. This was well done by all of the writers.
- Since Waffle disappeared, I had to give closure to his character. Gozon's guy destroyed much of Lamian's fleet, so I had Icer notice that the survivors were retreating. No mention of if Lamian was aboard one of the surviving ships, though. I wanted to keep that vague in case Waffle did ever return.
- Icer's thoughts in my scene imply that he's having a sexual relationship with Rowa.
- I was getting somewhat tired with Cool Runnings by this point. By this point in the story, the roleplay had been going on for almost five months. That is a really long time for such a short story. I was getting quite impatient with it and wanted it to end, and that was reflected in Icer's mood. That mood, though, wouldn't have been put in had it not complimented the character and plot. With the planet exploding, his weariness becomes more nuanced.
- Icer wishes that the other two can't breathe in space. Indeed, I didn't know if either of them could and hoped they couldn't. For Canon, at least, it makes sense that he should be able to, but for Miki, it doesn't, so I was eager to see what Dedmn would do to allow Miki to continue to take part in the roleplay.
- Icer's refusal to leave contrasts him from Lamian and parallels him with Miki somewhat. He's not a coward like Lamian. He is a ruthless, fearless leader - at least he wants people to believe that. He has an image to maintain, even if internally, he is quite shaken and suffering from PTSD. Like Miki, Icer knows he cannot leave, even if he wants to, because leaving would cause more problems than staying.
Section 13[edit | edit source]
Miki had barely managed to teleport herself out of the planet's atmosphere as the energy blasts ripped through its core, dooming the icy wasteland to slowly break apart. Had that been the human-type creature she had questioned earlier? She thought it was unusual she hadn't sensed a power level from him, but to think he was capable of such destruction. Now it was a question of whether Miki thought she could even survive against such a destructive foe. It was obvious he was not a friend as she had hoped. In addition the Arocsian was likely nearby. A three-way battle, as Miki had learned many years ago, is certainly not something you want to get into with enemies of equal or greater strength. At the same time, it felt wrong to leave the situation as is. To leave two powerful and destructive forces free to ravage the universe felt downright unethical to Miki.
"I know I'm going to regret this later." Miki mumbled as she extended both her arms out to either side. Releasing a small ki blast from each hand, Miki teleported a short distance away, leaving the two spheres of energy to float freely. Among the debris, the energy spheres stood out like a beacon of light in the darkness. Surely, no matter where in the mess of shattered planet her adversaries were, they would see the spheres. If Miki got lucky, the two mine-type spheres would at least damage one of her targets.
By my own hand, he thought, staring at a raised palm. It was covered in dirt and blood, the skin black and cracked and weary. He remembered a long time ago, when he had been a child, playing with his older brothers. They had always been covered in dirt back then - when they wrestled in the ditches, when they went on adventures across their icy homeworld without their parents' permission... when they had discovered their ability to transform on one particular winter's day. That had been the day their empire had truly began. But everything goes away, thought Icer coldly, and so too have you, brother. But I will not be like you. I will not end up like you. The Aphotic Prince raised his power level to maximum and felt a burning in the back of his throat.
He had been drawn to her energy attacks, which now hovered amongst the shattered remains of the planet. It was a trap, he knew, and a poor one at that. Lord Icer scanned the surroundings with his scouter and found the girl hiding behind a mess of floating rubble. Swiftly then did he descend upon her, his fists and tail striking her with blinding speed. He danced about her with teleportations and spinning attacks, and when he saw her dazed, he thought to end it with a Hypernova attack. Icer jumped back and raised a finger. A blue-black ball the size of an eyeball materialized above it and then exploded into the size of a small spaceship. Icer grinned and threw it at his stunned foe.
- Perhaps the most interesting thing about Miki is that she has personal ethical dilemmas, unlike the other three characters.
- In an earlier section, Icer noted that he would kill Miki by his own hand. Here, he is doing it again, though it is in a much different context. Icer is covered in dirt and blood, and he's tired, and the planet is gone. Things have changed, but his resolve remains. This is a metaphor for something.
- Icer reveals quite a bit about his past here. This is something I may put in my canon Icer stories, as I find his memories about being a child with King Cold and Arcterial to be fascinating. Additionally, he reveals quite a bit about his feelings about King Cold and how they have evolved. Thinking back to his childhood memories, when he played with his brothers, to where he is now, condemning them and stating that he won't turn out like them is a curious contrast. Notice how Icer says that he won't end up like King Cold, which he has stated before, but now he's also saying that he won't be like King Cold. He's living in his brother's shadow, trying to exert personal agency, trying to separate himself from his more successful brother, and that has made him hate Cold.
- I would have had Icer damaged by Miki's trap had her trap been clever at all. She literally just put two energy spheres out in the open. There's no logical reason for Icer or Canon to hit them.
- When Icer powers up, he feels a burning in the back of his throat. That could mean he's desperately craving some space rum, among other things.
- It's surprising overall that Icer didn't destroy the planet. Since Canon got to it first, this was the first time I could use the Hypernova attack (since I wasn't going to show it before the planet exploded in case I wanted Icer to use it to destroy the planet), which is based on Yuki's attack of the same name. Basically, a hypernova is more powerful than a supernova (which Cooler and Frieza both use), so that's why I gave it to Icer.
Section 14[edit | edit source]
The two other power sources, the Arcosian and the female alien, were fighting again. "Good," Canon thought, "The battle should be over any minute now."
The battle would have to be over soon for Canon, though, as the time limit imposed on him by his 100% Energy Form was drawing to a close, and blasting clean through a planet certainly wasn't helping it either. Still, he decided that he might as well enjoy the battle as it lasted. Summoning energy spheres yet again, he teleported back to the scene of the battle, just in time to catch a large ball of energy that the Arcosian had thrown.
"Hey, are you trying to destroy the planet?! Because I already kinda did that!" Canon exclaimed. He took the ball and hurled it straight up, before launching his own energy blasts at it. The Hypernova swelled and exploded, raining down intense heat and energy everywhere amongst the battlefield.
Miki's mind was racing, the sheer power displayed by her foes being almost overwhelming. The Arcosian's sudden increase in speed had taken her completely by surprise, giving her no opening to exploit as the creature bounced her around the floating debris like a child's toy. Even more impressive was when the being Miki had questioned earlier, now taking on a more mechanical appearance, caught the Arcosians massive energy blast. Now Miki found herself diving down behind chunks of shattered planet to escape the intense heat being emitted from the near planet-sized explosion.
"Damn it." Miki muttered to herself. "I can't just keep hiding. I need to show some offense sooner or later." Quickly making the decision to attack sooner rather than later, Miki soared up from behind the charred rock, her index finger aimed directly at the mechanical creature. "Fury Bullet!" With almost no noise at all, a small pink ki blast shot from Miki's fingertip.
The attack, though purposefully small, was actually one of Miki stronger attacks. The blast moved at a gradually increasing, spinning at a nearly unfathomable rpm. Acting like an unstoppable drill, the blast was nearly impossible to stop. The slowly increasing speed was an effective means of tricking enemies into thinking they had more time to dodge than they really did. Miki had managed to injure enemies who were significantly more powerful than herself on several occasions with this attack, as the sheer size and slow start led them into a false sense of security, making them believe the attack would harmlessly bounce off their chests.
Radar notifications went off in Canon's head, alerting him of several tiny, low velocity, rapidly revolving energy signals heading straight towards him from the direction of the female combatant. Normally, he would have effortlessly dodged them, or even sent them careening back or towards the Arcosian. However, the effects of staying in his 100% Energy Form for so long were stopping him from thinking straight. The constant bombardment of urgent data along with the sensation of 1000 grams of caffeine coursing through his system made Canon both hyper and insensitive in this state.
Canon decided to let the attacks hit him; he'd rather focus on the Arcosian's response to his last attack at the moment. That was his mistake. The blasts rapidly accelerated and easily pierced through his over-heating metal body, causing all kinds of explosions and alarms to go across his body. He had already began regenerating, but the diversion of energy to that function proved costly.
Canon would soon shut down.
Icer wondered why the female alien had attacked the other one instead of him. But it's no matter. She's only made this easier for me. He figured the other had lost all its energy after stopping Icer's Hypernova. How unfortunate, he thought with a wry smile. He had put a good deal of his power into that attack, and it annoyed him greatly that it had been wasted. But now seeing how easily the other alien had succumbed to that energy attack, maybe his Hypernova had been good for something after all. The Arcosian space pirate dashed past the hovering, dying alien, to the one who still drew breath. Slamming into her a chunk of the shattered planet, Icer began to pummel her with his fists and tail, ki enveloping his pale blue hands.
"It's time we end this!" he shouted soundlessly through the void of space. No one could hear him, but it did not matter. "No more games; no more running!"
This time, Icer would not be denied. He screamed as he punched her, his muscles expanding, lightning bursts popping around his figure, and ki covering his body like blue-black flames of light. I had always been in their shadows, always weaker, smaller, scared of them, he recollected of his brothers, but now I've grown stronger than they could have ever imagined. Because I survived. I wonder what they would think of me now. Lord Icer laughed upon seeing the alien girl's blood begin to splatter on his fists. This was almost better than high-grade space heroin.
- There should be no sound traveling across the vacuum of space, so Miki shouldn't be talking. I'll forgive Dedmn for this one, for in my first draft of my scene, I had Icer talking to her as well.
- Canon's second scene in this chapter was well-done.
- The choreography of much of this section doesn't make sense, which I highlighted at the start of my scene. Icer attacked Miki, so Canon appears, takes Icer's attack and Miki attacks Canon. Okay, sure. It's not like Icer is still standing there and could attack Miki at any second.
- By this point, I was expecting at least some indication of why Miki is surviving in space without a suit or anything. Canon surviving is okay - he's an android. Icer is obviously an Arcosian, so no problem there. Miki being a humanoid in space is problematic. Sure, Saiyans may be able to breathe in space (it's not confirmed or denied), but there's been no mention of it by Miki. She hasn't even though twice about being able to breathe in space. Since she's a new alien species who looks just like a human, it is fair to assume that she can't breathe in space. The abnormality would be being able to. So such a thing needs to be stated, and it was not. It's just clunky plotting by Dedmn.
- I made Icer's dialogue soundless later on, after I remembered that sound doesn't travel through the vacuum of space. Had I remembered that from the get-go, he probably wouldn't have said anything.
- This is Icer's triumph, as he beats up Miki. He thinks that he's overcome his brothers' legacies, made a name for himself, exerted his own agency. That is just the euphoria of battle speaking, however. Because of that, Icer's italicized thoughts in my scene are notable more for their thematic content than for their characterization of him.
Section 15[edit | edit source]
With each crushing blow Miki felt more blood drip from her face, her body sink deeper into the cold rock she had been pressed against and her energy output decrease bit by bit. It wasn't long till Miki was a bloodied mess, her body had been pressed several feet into the rock and her energy aura had completely disappeared. The blows just kept coming, and it was a miracle that Miki's body, despite her durability, hadn't been broken to pieces yet.
Is this how it's going to end? Miki's mind began to wander, her senses already numb to the raging blows of the Arcosian. Was everything I've done, my entire life, just preparing me for this moment? Am I destined to just be crushed into oblivion? Miki's vision was beginning to blur, darkness creeping over the fuzzy image of the Arcosian's fists. This can't be it. I didn't live my life just to be beaten down by the same scum that stole my life to begin with. "I won't let you." Miki murmured aloud, blows still hammering her midsection. "This life, is not yours to take." Mikis voice raised slightly in volume. "You hear me, I won't let you!" Miki was screaming now, as loudly as her damaged lungs would allow. "I won't let you!" Miki's aura exploded with her words, sending the Arcosian flying back and shattering the shard of the broken planet. Miki continued to roar, every piece of debris floating around her turning to powder as Miki's aura grew gradually darker, going from white to a fiery crimson. The Arcoisian in clear view, Miki raised an arm, seeing her skin tight suit having been reduced to rags that still hugged her body. Pointing a single finger out towards the Arcosian, Miki's eyes filled with malace, her irises themselves turning crimson.
"I vowed long ago I would never allow my life to be taken from me a second time." Miki's tone was authoritative and courageous, not a hint of doubt in her words. "Frieza killed my father and took my childhood from me. I know now I was not the one meant to end his wretched life, but yet I still dedicated myself to surpassing the one that was. I can not allow myself to die before I achieve this goal, not before I have my revenge. In order to ensure that day comes, I intend to eviscerate you from this universe, this is your end."
With his internal power quickly fading to zero and no way to recharge himself, Canon reverted back into his normal form, his skin quickly regenerating as his energy outputs returned to normal levels. He no longer would be much good in this fight with only the power that he had in his normal form, though.
"Kakó, now would be a great time to take me back," Canon said aloud, hoping the God of Mischief was listening. But alas, there was no immediate response, and Canon was in dire need of an immediate solution. He now had less strength than even the female, much less the Arcosian. He was relatively out of options; the physics of this universe must have been different. How else would he have ran out of energy so fast, as compared to other times he held his 100% form for at least twice as long as he maintained it in this battle.
"I can only stay out of their way for now," Canon thought. Using what little power he had left, he teleported to a moon of the planet, waiting for his god to save him.
The female's words flowed like water down a wild stream, endless and lost. He saw her talking and didn't hear a word of it. Space could be cold like that.
Frieza... Cooler... Cold... all dead at the hands of someone they couldn't beat. All because their arrogance blinded them to their doom. Well now Icer could see his doom fast approaching. No matter what I do, she refuses to die! Why won't she just die?! He felt a heat rise in his cheeks, felt his adrenaline burning through his veins like webs of fire. I should be able to beat her! I'm stronger than her! And yet, he thought back to his brother and his nephews, and how they had had similar thoughts as well. I will not end up like them, the Aphotic Prince promised himself. I will not let a weaker opponent destroy me.
Lord Icer jumped backwards a few paces, conjured up his blue-black aura around him, and began to shout soundlessly in the void of space. He called forth all of his power, all of his ki reserves, to his palm, where a swirling black mass of energy was forming. I will not underestimate her. I'll use all my strength to kill this one, and that'll be it. She cannot stand against my full strength. No games, and nothing less than my full power. This will end one way or another right now. It had been a long time since Icer had used his most powerful attack, but it had been a long time since he had been tested like this. His brother and nephews had let themselves be killed by underestimating their opponents and letting themselves be overwhelmed when they should have won. If they had just used their heads, he thought wistfully. And to think I am the only one still with my head. Me... the youngest brother. He thought back to that day he and Cold and Arcterial had learned how to transform, in that cave in the snow on the cold winter's day, how long it had taken him to get a knack for it, while his older brothers seemed to slip into their new skins as easily as fresh sets of armor. How it had pained him back then, taken all of his energy to do what his brothers did. But that had been a long time ago. Icer felt so cold, so alone. He tried to swallow but couldn't.
The bleeding girl just watched him as he charged up his beam attack, which he affectionately called the Ebon Luck, ever since he had used it to destroy a Brench Pirate Prince who had thought it wise to steal a keg of Black Star Rum from Lord Icer. No one stands against me; this girl will die like all the rest.
Looking down at his palm, Icer saw that he had gathered all the energy he had remaining. It was now or never. The Arcosian pirate thrust both of his arms out and controlled the beam between them. At once, a flood of dark energy matter shot forth from his outstretched palms and bore down on the female alien who stood against him. It's only a matter of time, he thought, until I'm reunited with my rum. And that thought made his throat raw with thirst.
- Miki's section here was good. Had Dedmn written her this way throughout, she would have been a much better overall character. She gets some good characterization and reveals some important backstory about herself. So it's clear Dedmn has the skill to write really good scenes.
- So the first paragraph of my scene highlights how Icer cannot physically hear Miki since they are in the vacuum of space (in a very wry way). It is also a slight reference to Across the Universe by The Beatles.
- One of my favorite scenes in Cool Runnings is when Icer thinks back to when he and his brothers first learned how transform. This is building off of an earlier Icer scene where he started to remember this memory. The fact that he had a much harder transforming than them hints that he was much younger and much weaker than them at the time. Yet now, he's rivaling them. He's the last of them, he's saying. Is that actually true? Dunno. I actually don't know if Arcterial will survive through my PTO story. I just implied they were both dead since this is a non-canon story of mine and it has no bearing on my canon stuff. The fact that Icer feels really lonely when he thinks about how he's the last Arcosian overlord of the PTO alive (as far as he knows) says a lot about his character and his actual opinion of his brothers. He's so lonely in the cold of space (notice the reoccurring motif of cold being used yet again), so isolated. His mental state is slipping, though he is no longer looking at things as he was before. In previous sections, he was relishing in King Cold's death, seeing it as his moment to shine now that Cold was gone. Now he's just tired and sad and nostalgic and lonely. Things are no longer as they were. He wishes he could go back to the happy times in his memories, even if those memories weren't perfect times.
- Dedmn naming his Fury Bullet attack influenced me to name the Ebon Luck. The backstory of the Ebon Luck was improvised. The rum is named after Black Star by Radiohead. The Brench pirate prince is of the same race as Jeice and Salza, of course.
- I expected this to be my penultimate section, which is why it's my longest scene in all of Cool Runnings and why so much characterization and personality stuff happens here. I was setting Icer up for his last scene. And then, after I wrote it, Dedmn stated that we each needed to do another scene for the beam struggle. Suffice to say, I wasn't very happy; I think he could have ended the beam struggle in one more section from him. But, I guess not. That resulted in two more scenes (all of section 16) being written, when pacing-wise, that section didn't need to exist.
Section 16[edit | edit source]
Seeing the Arcosian gathering what had to be the last of his own energy, it was obvious to Miki that this was a do or die situation. Whoever lost this next clash would surely perish, likely vaporized down to a cellular level. There was no room for error here, but unfortunately Miki was only now using her ultimate attack in combat for the first time. Only once had Miki practiced this blast on a dead planet some two years prior. Her attack had been far more powerful than she had expected, not only destroying the planet and several of its moons, but likely destroying other planets off in the extreme distance of space. For fear of the massive collateral damage the attack caused, Miki had abstained from its use. Now however, Miki could not afford to hold back. To hold back now would mean certain death, and death wasn't an option worth considering.
A small blue light began forming at the tip of Miki's extended finger, appearing almost like a small star against the backdrop of space. The light quickly began pulsing, emanating apparent rings of light at a steady pace, as if to represent a heartbeat. Miki's entire body became illuminated, her intense crimson giving way to a gentle sapphire glow. The rage in Miki's eyes seemed to fade, her stare taking on one of tranquility. Though what appeared to be a sense of piece, was actually the result of Miki's body beginning to numb, her attack beginning to sap the energy away from every atom in her body. Miki's sense of hearing began to dampen, the noise created by her energy reduced to a gentle hum, signalling the attack was had just about reached its maximum charge. For a brief moment, Miki forgot where she was, forgot about the Arcosian and forgot about fighting. She was simply drifting in the vastness of space, free from mortal bonds. So peaceful. Miki thought to herself. Then the heart beat slowed, until it had stopped completely.
When this was all over, Lord Icer would require many tender loving kisses on his battle wounds. A dozen space whores, he thought. No... a space baker's dozen! Yes, that would do. This female floating before Icer had strained him like he had never been strained before. And once she was dead and vaporized, he knew that there would be only one way to forget here. He flexed his fingers impatiently and guided the Ebon Luck to his opponent. She had sent a blue blast of energy back towards him in the time it had taken him to muster up his own attack. At once, the two energies clashed, exploding soundlessly across the cold void. A magnificent burst of light sprung out from their beam struggle, nearly blinding Icer. He couldn't see who was winning, but with all the power he commanded in his hands, he did not think it could be him. It will not be me. I will be victorious!
How this female alien, this mysterious, nameless creature had pressured the Aphotic Prince so, he would never know. She is so hard to kill. She just won't die. Why is she so resilient? His brothers had not been this sturdy, and they had ruled the universe with him. They had killed trillions, enslaved trillions more. They had scarred the universe with their arrogance. They had been men of power, of prestige. The kind worthy of legend. And yet, they were gone, reduced to dust and echoes. Icer remained; so did his opponent. Here Icer stood against his opponent, who no doubt eclipsed Arcterial's power and might have even challenged King Cold's. And I have never even heard of her before now.
He did not feel well; in fact, the good pirate prince thought there was a chance he was going to throw up. But before he could, Icer saw a sliver of light bearing down towards him, through his own black energy, straight towards him. He heard it not, but felt its warmth as it sliced through the remains of his power and bore down on him. It was a familiar warmth - like that of space rum or Rowa's touch. But it made him scream in despair all the same.
- "When this was all over, Lord Icer would require many tender loving kisses on his battle wounds." - that sentence is a reference to this.
- Icer not being able to see who is winning the beam struggle is crucial for the plot twist that comes up in Dedmn's next section. We choreographed this last beam struggle with a level of precision that did not exist anywhere else in the story. Dedmn and I talked extensively over talk pages about how exactly to do this scene, which resulted in how naturally it progressed.
- There's lots of thematic stuff in the second paragraph of my scene about fame vs. skill and about perception vs. reality.
- Arcterial is mentioned here by name for the second time. It can be inferred that he is an older brother of Icer here, even if one does not read Icer's page, but since Arcterial's role is almost non-existent I didn't feel like it was necessary to really outright explain who he is. Icer, after all, wouldn't think to tell anyone that since his inner thoughts don't exist to tell people his story.
- This section ends with Icer feeling dreadfully warm. This goes back to the major theme I introduced in Cool Runnings in the very first scene of the story about the cold/hot binaries. I also do some interesting reversals with the two, with coldness being a comfort to Icer often, and warmness being a bad thing for him. This is not always the case, but it is more often than not, and that is not how cold and hot are usually portrayed in literature.
- While this section would not have existed if I had had my way, I still think it does a good job of adding in some characterization for both characters. Was it needed? Absolutely not. But it doesn't hurt to have it as a part of the story.
Section 17[edit | edit source]
The moment the blast left her fingertip, the space around Miki became adorned with a faint blue glow, as if the initial light from her attack had seeped into the surrounding matter. Though still relatively small, despite being several times the diameter of a normal Death Beam attack, the blue stream of energy emitted an almost blinding light, almost eclipsing the massive sphere of black energy the Arocsian had sent her way. Miki watched in awe as her attack struck the center of the oncoming Death Ball, the light piercing into the darkness, slowly penetrating the dark ball. For a moment, the soft blue glow of Miki's attack filled the center of the black energy mass, almost resembling a dying star as it gave off its last few rays of light before fizzling out forever. So beautiful.
As the blue glow began to fade, Miki wasn't entirely sure if her attack had made it through to her enemy, or had simply dissipated within the dark mass. Regardless, the Death Ball continued to speed in her direction, though something seemed different about it. As the sinister energy drew closer, Miki could see that part of what she was looking at was empty space, a large crevice having been somehow carved out of the Death Ball without stopping the attack. That was a first for Miki, she had never seen something like that happen as a result of two energies colliding. Normally the two forces simply pressed against one another until one overcame the other. Miki's mind lazily pondered what it was she was witnessing, the desperate sense of urgency absent form her mind. She simply floated in place, not even of her own power anymore. The dark energy began surrounding her, the billions of stars disappearing one by one until there were none, and the dark energy engulfed Miki. Then, all at once, the void turned white, and Miki felt all the pain vanish from her body.
Four drops of blood moved before him, spinning soundlessly against the black of space. Lord Icer could hear nothing, not even the sound of his own heartbeat. He watched his life's blood tumble off into the void, each drop drifting in a different direction. His vision was blurring; the Arcosian felt numb.
The throbbing in his shoulder was almost too much to bear. Icer reached for his wound, and found only blood and ruination - a gaping, bleeding hole where the girl alien's attack had hit him. He grit his teeth. That stupid girl, he thought. How did her attack pierce through the Ebon Luck? That much, he would never know. He hated that girl. She had given him a grievous scar, one that he would carry for the rest of his life. Alas, she was dead. Even as her attack had shot through Icer's, it had not dissipated the Aphotic Prince's energy. He had watched his great black energy beam swallow her whole. And when the light had faded, there had been no one left to stand against him. He wanted to feel good about that, wanted to feel some measure of victory. But all Icer could feel was the raw pain in his shoulder.
He was drifting aimlessly, watching the lights of distant stars call him home. Yet he could not heed their calls. He was burning out his fuse out here alone. He wondered if Lamian yet lived, if his own ships were still intact. They should be coming for me, if they are. He wanted to return to the cozy confines of his ship. He needed a mug of space rum and a line of space heroin bad. His body quivered in anxious anticipation.
It was at that moment that Icer saw the other alien - the one who looked weird and had destroyed the planet. It was drifting just like him, silhouetted against the white-black of space. Anger surged into Icer's skull, briefly numbing the pain. He closed his right hand into a fist and then aimed it at the alien. Icer was weary, but he had a little energy left for that insolent creature.
The Arcosian space pirate took aim, held his breath, and then released the last of his energy in a soundless scream. He watched the blue beam streak across space like a starbeam. His aim had been true; it was going to hit. Icer felt exhausted.
Yet before his attack reached his quarry, Icer saw the drifting alien suddenly cover itself in light and disappear. What?! Where'd he go?! Icer looked around, but there was no sign of the thing. He wished he still had his scouter, but that had been destroyed by the girl's attack.
It was at that moment that another wave of pain hit Icer, more ferocious than a Yardratian courtesan. He winced. His vision was overtaken by blurriness. He tried to fight it, but it was no use. The impending darkness would not be denied. As Icer slipped into unconsciousness, he felt tears come to his eyes, felt so cold he began to shiver. I survived... he thought, I won. But, even as those words echoed through his brain, the Apohtic Prince couldn't help but think them to be shallow, hollow lies. I'm not the Arcosian they think I am at home, he thought sadly. I was never as strong as my brothers.
- Miki thinks that the Ebon Luck is a Death Ball, but it isn't. It's a pretty standard beam attack. I believe I stated that in my previous scenes.
- Overall, Miki's scene is good here. Her character has become quite good as the story has gone on. She started out rather bland and uninteresting, but now, she's getting some characterization and it's working out well.
- The four drops of blood symbolize Canon, Miki, Icer, and Lamian, and their diverging destinies. Blood has been a major symbol for me in this story - it's quite significant that I end the blood symbolism like this. There's some definite thematic stuff related to that.
- "He was burning out his fuse out here alone." - this is a reference to Rocket Man by Elton John.
- I choreographed the second part of my scene with Gozon. I wanted to have Icer see Canon one last time so that there's a sense of conclusion between the two characters. Notice the parallels between these two warriors in my scene and in Canon's in the next section.
- Icer losing his scouter is him losing a source of information and the eyes in the back of his head. This is significant as it relates to Icer's growing characterization.
- "It was at that moment that another wave of pain hit Icer, more ferocious than a Yardratian courtesan" - I wanted to imply, with this line, that Icer and Lamian have fucked quite a lot of bitches together in their time. Also, I miss Waffle. :(
- Icer crying is no insigificant moment. It's similar to if Frieza had cried before he died (it would have been a massive moment - also, Vegeta crying before he died on Namek could be comparable here). There's a big amount of character growth shown here; the Icer at the start of the story would not have cried. But Icer's been through a lot. He's seen a lot, thought about a lot of things, and his mental health is not as strong as he would have his foes believe. He's a dynamic character, and him crying illustrates that point beautifully.
- "I'm not the Arcosian they think I am at home" - this is a second reference to "Rocket Man" by Elton John. Why did I reference that song twice here? Simple: I like it and it felt relevant. I was on a bit of an Elton John binge as I wrote this section and also, Icer drifting though space seemed tonally and thematically related to that song.
- Icer's realization at the end of this section is a major moment. It's a depressing moment. It's him giving into hopelessness and seeing himself as insignificant. He doesn't think he can even stand in his brothers' shadows. It's quite the inferiority complex for such a powerful dude.
- So, after I wrote my scene in this section, and after I saw Canon's ensuing section, I seriously considered not writing another Icer scene. I spent a good hour or so debating what to do. I laid out the pros and cons of every option (and there were three that I thought of): the first was to not write anything; the second would have been an expansive scene at the end with Icer getting rescued and getting his space rum and space heroin; the third would have been a very short dream sequence where it would not have been clear whether Icer was alive, dead, unconscious, dreaming, etc. I ultimately chose to combine options 2 and 3 after I saw Miki's final section. But basically, the main reason why I didn't go for option one, despite it being literarily the coolest option, is that I didn't write my scene in this section intending it to be the final act in Icer's story. I didn't resolve all of his problems and finish his character progression. Had I thought to end it here, I might have put some additional stuff in to make that possible. Alas, I didn't, so I had to write another section. It would have been cheap to not do so - to basically say that because this would be the cooler option, I should ignore my character's character progression. It just wasn't possible. I couldn't do that, not now. Icer was too defined by this point for me to take part in such shenanigans.
Section 18[edit | edit source]
Canon drifted through various shades of consciousness as his internal computer systems shut down. Emergency life support quickly took effect, drawing power from a miniaturized nuclear reactor that would only need to be changed every 15,000 years. So he was left alive, but barely. What little organics were left in his body were left in a bare state of survival, allowing what was left of his organic brain to slowly wander through dreams and thoughts.
Canon dreamt back to before he was an Android, long before he had become a disciple of Kakó, when he lived with his inventor father. Never would he have dreamed that he'd become a powerful robot that fought in the name of chaos.
Well, none of that mattered now. As he drifted lifelessly, completely exposed to the elements and the battle, Canon realized that perhaps he had rushed this battle a little too much. He had tried to bite off more than he could chew, and now he would pay the price.
Perhaps Kakó wouldn't save him this time. Perhaps he was doomed to die in a foreign universe, his soul forced to perish in an unfamiliar Hell.
However, just as Canon was about to drift unconscious yet again, and as he was vaguely aware of an intensely powerful blast coming at him from the Arcosian, the sound of Kakó's laughter could be heard. At the last minute before his death, Canon was teleported to safety.
Miki twisted her tattered body in the void, the only movement she was aware of in the endless white void that surrounded her. With no other logical explanation for the void, Miki thought that she must be dead, eradicated from existence by the Arcosian's black energy. Her only solace was slight chance that her attack had killed him as well. Struggling to sit upright, Miki noticed something odd. She had expected to wake up in the shredded remains of her favorite red and white pilot suit, but instead found herself in a loose fitting shirt and pants, both nearly as white as the void. What was even stranger was the strange golden glow emitting from her right arm, right leg and most of the right side of her torso. The faint light reminded Miki of the night light she slept by on her father's ship, the tones of the light must being nearly perfect matches.
"What is this?" Miki asked aloud, her words seeming to echo back to her in the empty space.
"Hello?" a deep voice boomed from the nothingness. "Can you hear me?" Miki attempted to jump to her feet and confront the strange voice, but only the left side of her body responded, causing her to land awkwardly on her left foot and fall to the side. "Please, don't try to move around." The voice asked. Miki thought the voice almost sounded like it was pleading, but the sheer deepness and strange of the voice made it difficult to decipher emotions.
"Who are you?" Miki shouted upward, as if talking to some sort of divine being. "Where the hell am I?"
"Your in a medically endued coma." Miki blinked hard, the sheer weight of what she was being told sinking in."
"So... that means I'm alive?"
"Yes, but just barely. When we found you, you were missing roughly thirty-eight percent of your body. We have begun the regeneration process, but even so we aren't completely sure we will be able to completely restore the flesh you have lost."
"Regeneration process? What are you talking about?" Miki looked at her body, unsure what thirty-five percent of her body she could possibly be missing. Then it struck her, the glowing portion of her body. "Are you saying the reason part of my body is glowing is because it was blown off?"
"We're not sure what happened to you." the voice confessed. "But yes, any part of your body that seems different form the rest was likely lost as a result of whatever you were involved in. What you are seeing now is a space inside your own mind, a partially conscious state, almost like a dream. It's a common side effect of the regenerative chemicals we are currently treating you with. When in this state, the missing part of your body differs from the rest, though that difference varies from person to person. Please, try not to move around too much. There is a slight chance the messages your brain sends to your body in this dream realm will slip past our countermeasures and reach your nerves. If you start moving around in reality, you could damage yourself."
Miki did her best to digest the information as it was given to her, but everything the voice told her was difficult to believe. First of all, she had somehow survived the Arcosian's attack, despite Miki's last conscious memory being the black energy engulfing her. Second, she was in some sort of strange dream state while the section of her body she had lost in the attack somehow regenerated. How did she even get here? That last attack should have completely vaporized her, even with her enhanced durability. Miki found herself asking question after question that only lead to more questions with only vague and confusing answers. Some time had passed since the voice last spoke and Miki sensed that it was her turn to talk, though she couldn't quite find any words to speak. As the silence began approaching an awkward length, Miki uttered the only words she could think of.
"Balls. How did I find myself in this frigging mess"
"What is your name?" the voiced asked.
"Miki. What about you?
"I personally go by the title of Aros."
"Alright Aros. I guess a 'thank you' is in order. I appreciate you saving my life."
"Your gratitude isn't necessary." Aros replied. "Me and my people are more than willing to help those we find in need."
"Good to hear. Not too many beings are willing to lend a helping hand anymore."
"Indeed. Miki, I apologize but I have other matters I must attend to. I shall return periodically to observe the progression of your healing. In the meantime, I imagine the space you see around you is blank at the moment."
"It is." Miki confirmed. "Nothing but a void. Are you going to tell me that can be changed?"
"Indeed it can. Like I mentioned before, you are in a type of dream. I am using a device that lets my speech resonate directly inside your mind in order to communicate. But you should be able to alter your surroundings. Memories are the easiest to recreate in this space, but feel free to experiment. I shall come to see your progression in the bear future. Farewell for now Miki."
And with that, Miki was alone again, or at least she felt like she was alone again. In reality there was no way for her to indicate whether or not Aros was still listening to her. Regardless, the idea that Miki could completely alter her surroundings excited her, and she wasted little time trying to change the scenery. Things appeared fuzzy at first, but before too long Miki was sitting in the middle of a rectangular room, the floors and walls all made from a white metal that reflected the various lights flashing from the control panel at the front of the room. Standing at the control panel was a male figure, his fingers dancing across the various buttons and knobs at a blurring pace as the man hummed softly to himself."
"Hello." Miki said, trying to gain the man's attention. Though she tried to mask it, Miki's emotions were spiraling.
The man turned around, his long white bangs falling down in front of his eyes as he looked back at Miki.
"Miki?" the man asked, the surprise in his voice obvious.
Their faces were worn to nothing, almost as pale as the snow. The icicles shimmered with purple light. Their laughter echoed through the cave. He could feel a tightening in his chest. In a flash of light, they changed from his brothers into monsters. And what does that make me?
"What will we do with this new power?" the shorter one asked.
"I will rule over every living thing!" the other stated mightily. "I will bring this universe to its knees!"
He screamed and shot an energy wave deep into the cave. When it exploded, it caused the entire place to shake. He remembered shaking, feeling cold even as the heat of the attack washed over him. How can one wield such power?
"I'll use this newfound power to get rich! I'll be the richest man in the universe!" the shorter one boasted proudly.
"And what about you?" The taller one turned to him, his black, indistinct face long and jagged as a shadow. "What will you do with your new power?"
He gulped. His brothers' eyes shone as black as night. But that was wrong... Even the whites of their eyes are gone. It's all black. When he didn't answer them, they stepped forward, energy warming in their hands. They cackled, their black teeth stretched open like slits filled with knives He was staring into the gaping maw of chaos.
"What are you going to do with your power?!" the taller one asked again, this time forcefully. "What do you want your legacy to be, Icer?"
Icer awoke in a cold sweat, shivering. He found that his blanket was off of him, wrapped around the sleeping body of Rowa. Annoyed, he pulled the blanket from her to give himself some warmth. He sat up, conjuring a small energy ball to light his room. It was dark in there, save for the now emanating blue light. And the room was empty, save for the bed that housed him and Rowa. All of my life, and this is what I've become, he thought. Icer desired to go to his treasure room, or perhaps his liquor room, to wallow in pleasure, but he had not the strength for such a walk. He felt his sore shoulder, felt the bump where a chunk of flesh had been lost. All because of a stupid, inconsequential girl.
Icer yawned and reached for his space coco. After his first swig, he felt a fire reignite in his veins, and a burning in the back of his throat. He bit his lip. What have I become? He did not know. He tried to remember what his answer had been in that cave all those years ago. He couldn't remember. Life had become a blur - a numb, never-ending melancholic journey. And he was tired of it all. Icer closed his eyes and listened to the hum of the Charybdis. It was a pleasant sound, not unlike that of a buzzsaw. The whole ship seemed to rattle along, continue on, no matter how much damage it took nor how long it remained in the service of the Aphotic Prince. I am not like my brothers, he thought venomously.
With all his strength, Icer stood up and hobbled over to the window. His entire body was aching and burning with pain from the fights he had taken part in, and he found himself out of breath after the short trip to the window. It would be weeks - months, perhaps - until he was healed. But like the Charybdis, he would continue on. I am not so easily destroyed like my brothers. They had been the ambitious ones, the powerful ones. And yet here he was, the only survivor. The Planet Trade Organization had burned out into nothingness, and yet he lived. He had not gone down with that sinking ship. He had a fleet of ships, a loyal crew... and Rowa. Wasn't that enough?
The stars were blacking out in clusters as the other ships moved past the Charybdis in protective patrols. He placed a finger on the glass and drew up his aura around him. If we all died out here, who would know? Who would care? Icer felt energy warming in his finger. At the last second, he extinguished it and sighed. That is just what they would have wanted. He felt dizzy.
He returned to bed, bringing the covers nearly up to his chin. He felt Rowa's warmth on the sheets, listened to her deep, rhythmic breathing. Another wave of pain cascaded down from his broken shoulder. The Aphotic Prince grit his teeth and laid back. Those of us who survive... he wondered, what makes us better than those who died? He had no answer. Yet, the queer thought did give Lord Icer a sudden urge for some ice wine. And that made Icer smile, in spite of himself.
- Miki's last scene is Dedmn's best scene in the entire story. It has two small problems, though. The first is that Miki's father has been underdeveloped before her final scene. He was mentioned only once. He should have been mentioned more and her relationship with him should have been built up more to make Miki's final scene more impactful. Note the contrast in this build up with the way I built up Icer's relationship with his brothers from a very early point in the story. The second problem is that her being saved by a mysterious force named Aros - whom we know nothing about - seems like a bit of deus ex machina. Still, I think this scene is really good. The beginning and the end especially brings forth some highly emotional writing. I am quite pleased with this section by Dedmn, as he has made Miki into a fine character by the end of this story. She started off underdeveloped and bland, but by the end of it, she's about as strong as Canon in terms of personality and backstory.
- I decided to write my final scene only after reading Miki's final scene. I was somewhat bummed that Dedmn went the dream route, as I was considering doing that with Icer before he wrote Miki's scene. Not wanting to copy him, I didn't have the dream be as prominent in my scene. But I didn't get rid of it. I wasn't going to take away good ideas just because they might be repetitive. I thought that it was best to look at my scenes in a vacuum, ignoring the scenes of the others. I must make my scenes the best they can be. In that case, repetition sometimes occurs. But I can't change my scenes based on what the other writers do, and they should also look at it the same way. I hope they didn't change anything for the worse based on what I wrote in my scenes preceding theirs.
- There's a lot in Icer's dream to unpack about his character and backstory, and I won't be discussing most of it, because that's telling. What I will say is that I deliberately showed Icer going through an identity crisis as he reflected on his dream, noting that he hasn't amounted to what his brothers had. He's not as strong nor as politically powerful as them. They made names for themselves. He let himself live in their shadows and become a space pirate when their empire crumbled. His identity is in flux; his sense of self is diminished. He's comparing himself to people he hates and sees himself as inferior to them. It's strikingly sad.
- Arcterial and King Cold being transformed into demons and having pure black eyes is a reference to the music video for Pompeii by Bastille. I wanted the two to have a spooky, otherworldly feel to them, to make the dream aspect of the opening sequence more apparent. Also, the fact that black is so often tied to them is symbolically related to their apparent deaths. There're some other significant reasons for me doing this, but I can't reveal everything myself.
- Icer's legacy is to be a space pirate out in the void, making some money and a little fame, but never matching the power and influence that his brothers had at their height. He's wasting away, burning out slowly. They were sparks, flashing brilliantly before going out forever. Icer is wrought differently, and he feels depressed because of this. He feels like he let himself and his family down because he can't be like Arcterial and King Cold.
- Icer's sexual relationship with Rowa was implied earlier. It is outright stated here.
- The time jump is not explicitly stated - I think it's a few days or weeks, though. Icer's wound has healed somewhat, but he's still in a very fragile state. Rowa being there implies that he was found by his ship and has been traveling through space for some time. I didn't feel like showing his ship finding him because that felt like unnecessary plot that would slow down the pacing. My last scene is long enough as it is. It didn't need to be longer.
- "What have I become?" - this is a reference to Hurt by Nine Inch Nails (Johnny Cash cover). There's a lot of things that phrase could be referring to. Icer's identity and his fall from being the brother of the ruler of the universe to a wandering space pirate is a big part of that question. Icer reflecting on his life is a moment of silent philosophical argument.
- The comparison between Icer and his ship was improv'd on the spot, but I quite like how it turned out. It's related to the themes of this story and to his character progression, so it's almost like I planned it out from the beginning.
- Notice how Icer is drinking space coco, not space rum. This is probably because Rowa didn't want him to indulge on alcohol while he is so wounded. I mean, he really should. It would probably dull some of his pain and make him happier. But Rowa has her reasons, and the fact that she's withholding pleasure from Icer is sad since he just went through a hellacious battle. He should be getting some space rum and space heroin now that he's returned from battle. But alas, he is not so lucky. It always seems to work out like that for Icer, unfortunately.
- Icer almost destroys himself and his entire fleet in his depression. That's how much he's hurting mentally. It's the true climax of his emotions. That he ultimately doesn't go through with that is a moment of final characterization for him. He thinks that Cold and Arcterial would have wanted him to do that, so by not committing suicide he's standing up to them, exerting his agency against the legacy of his two brothers' ghosts.
- Icer's lonely thoughts in the second to last paragraph are based on me!
- Notice how Rowa has a warmth to her. This continues the warm/cold stuff that I've been going on about in all of my scenes pretty much. It ends with a moment of real warmness from someone Icer cares about, though, and that is not to be sneezed at.
- Icer drank some ice wine in Vacation. Him thinking about having some here though is more of a reference to King Cold, who liked to drink what appeared to be an ice wine in canon. So Icer thinks about his dead brother again and smiles in spite of himself. That is the culmination of his entire characterization. I won't say what it means, but understanding that last passage is crucially important for understanding his character.
Endnotes[edit | edit source]
The scene distribution is as follows:
- KidVegeta - 18
- WaffleMinifigure - 7
- Gozon - 15
- Dedmnwalkn88 - 16
I don't have a lot else I want to say about this story. I think my sections were strong; I had some really interesting and fun characterization and philosophical argumentation with Icer that I didn't expect to get into at the start of this story. Reading back over this story for this commentary, I am very pleased with my contributions. I think Icer has a nice arc, both plot-wise and character-wise. Some of the backstory and personality stuff I came up with for Icer in this story I may even use in future canon stories of mine, so that was cool for me on a personal level to have come up with that stuff here. I think I did the best out of everyone in terms of themes and symbols and whatnot. Canon and Lamian and Miki all had their ups and downs. I like things about all of them and disliked things about all of them. I'm sure all of the other authors thought the same about Icer. That's just how it goes. We write what we like, and not everyone likes the same things. Overall, though, I think this was a successful roleplay... and dare I say the best roleplay on the entire site? I think I will go so far, since most roleplays on this site are absolute shit. It's not perfect, but it's damn good, and I think all of the authors contributed some really good writing here. No character was godmodded, and for the most part, we collaborated to create coherent and cool fights. As with all of my roleplays, though, I won't be rating this story, though as I've stated above, I think this is probably the best roleplay on the site.
<---- Part 143.3
Part 143.5 ---->