Review, Here's where you can post of what you think of the story so far[]
Nomad's Review:[]
I'm being brutal for a reason. Don't take it in offense.
Pros:[]
- None. Not one single redeeming factor within the story.
Cons:[]
- On a first note, it has crap for grammar.
- I don't like how you basically killed off Goku and Vegeta, especially how they died:
- Goku's: He died from too much power. So? He would've died in Z if that were the case. SSJ3?
- Vegeta's: He died from a disease from Bulma's cooking. I don't like how it sounded in the story (it sounded like it was dissing Bulma), and I just don't like how food poisoning appears in anything after Z. Both Saiyans would've died in Z if they died from food poisoning, because they both eat too much anyway.
- Chi-Chi going into a spiraling depression? And she abandoned Goten? This is starting to sound like a sulky soap-opera and not from Dragon Ball. Seriously, this is pretty much OoU (in case the author doesn't know, it means Out of Universe) for Chi-Chi's character.
- Buu going into a three-year hibernation? Why? Please explain within the story.
- Goten's going into a spiraling depression too? Again, OoU.
- The introduction (Parenting From Other World) was dismal, since it just started from point blank, as if it started right in the center of the story. Also, why is Goten talking to himself?
- Trunks: OoU.
- Speedy Gonzales? Why introduce a character from a humorous cartoon into a serious cartoon like Dragon Ball? It doesn't fit into the series.
- Yamcha training? He's the last one to expect to train. He explicitly said he'd stop training after the Cell Games.
- Oh yeah, Yamcha's also OoU.
Rating: F-.
Comments: I didn't like one single factor in this story. That's all. -Most Hated