This page, Soupa Saiyan Shenanigans, is property of KathyPrior42.
“My Lord,” called Whis who was standing in Beerus’s sleeping chamber in the palace on his planet. “It’s time to wake up.”
He got a big yawn from the purple cat-like god in response.
“It can’t be that hard to get up. You’ve only been asleep for five years.”
“I don’t wanna,” Beerus groaned, still curled up on his golden cat bed.
“You don’t want me to sing, do you?” Whis asked playfully.
Beerus lifted his head slightly and grinned. “I brought ear plugs this time. You trick is not gonna work on me like last time.” Beerus yawned again and rested his head on one of his paws.
Whis rolled his eyes and came up with a plan. He disappeared from the chamber and appeared in the kitchen. Moments later, Whis reappeared in the same spot he was before. The only difference was the angel was now sitting on a comfortable chair, with a bowl of freshly made hot ramen with vegetables, slices of meat, and an egg on top.
Having a good sense of smell, Beerus sniffed, eyes still closed. He opened his eyes when he realized what the food was. He stumbled out of bed and promptly fell off a floating piece of rock, startled by one of the hovering hourglass alarms blowing up. Whis waved his hand and slowed his decent. He landed with a thunk onto the ground. Sighing, Beerus shook his head and walked over to Whis.
“It’s ramen!” he explained, happily. “I hadn’t realized how hungry I could get, even after that short nap.”
Whis tapped his staff on the ground, and in a flash of light, the two of them appeared in the dining room. Aquatic creatures swam to and fro in the deep blue water from outside.
Whis mentioned to a pot with more soup inside. “There’s plenty for both of us,” he said. “I also made some tofu, rice, mixed vegetables and smoked salmon too.” The food lay on plates on the table. “I was going to save it all for myself but…”
“You what?!” Beerus asked aloud.
Whis shrugged, “I’m just saying, my Lord, I love cuisines as much as you do. I had to make sure I got plenty to eat.”
“And not saving any for me?”
“You were asleep. I’ve made food when you were in bed before. I don’t sleep, remember?”
Beerus sighed deeply. “Food and sleep…two essential things in my million year life…besides destroying planets. So hard to choose between each one!”
“Indeed,” Whis said with a chuckle.
“Though how are you able to go without ever sleeping? You’re missing out on getting essential rest,” asked Beerus.
“Well sometimes I do ‘rest’ per se, but it’s mostly meditation and mental exercises. Besides there’s so much to do, even for someone who’s lived so long,” explained Whis. “Besides, you’re a cat, or partly so. Cats need their downtime.”
“What was that? What did you just call me?! I’m a god, not some mortal feline!”
Beerus crushed a fork in his hand and it instantly crumbled to dust.
“Come now, my Lord, there is no reason to get so upset. I meant no offence by any means. Now finish your ramen before it gets cold.”
“Fine then,” Beerus responded, digging into his meal and slurping up the long noodles into his mouth.
“You know, for a supreme deity, you do show a gross lack of table manners,” Whis muttered.
Beerus looked up from licking the broth with his tongue at Whis. “I can hear you, you know.”
Whis laughed in response and began eating.
Hours later, nearly all the food was gone.
“I’m stuffed,” Beerus said, patting his stomach.
“If you keep eating so much, you’ll be fat like Champa,” Whis teased.
“Shut up!” he responded shortly before letting out a burp. “I’m far better than my brother in physique, intelligence, everything really. Don’t forget that we won the Universal Tournament against Universe 6, the baseball game on earth and the Tournament of Power.”
He sat back, arms behind his head, a look of arrogance on his face.
“True, but Champa did beat you in that arm wrestling contest out in space. He got to eat a deluxe chocolate éclair for being the winner. You got so mad that you blew up that one planet between Mars and Jupiter. Earthlings call it Planet X.”
“Wow, that was a long time ago,” said Beerus. “Time flies by even when you’re immortal.”
Beerus stood up and stretched his arms. “Well, time to scout space and find worthless planets to destroy.”
“Wait, you need to brush your teeth, my Lord.”
“Do I have to?” he complained.
Whis flared at him, eyebrow raised.
“Okay,” Beerus relented and walked toward the bathroom.
“And floss as well!” Whis added over the angry stomping of Beerus’s feet.
After destroying his third planet, Beerus sighed. “You know Whis?” he asked. “As much as I enjoy the food you provide for me, I’m eager to try something new.”
Whis looked a little hurt. “I assure you, Lord Beerus, that I do the best I can every day.”
“I know that, but even for a god, eating the same old fruits, reptile meats, and vegetables gets old after a while. I’d like to travel to the other side of Earth, a place far from Japan.”
A holographic globe appeared from Whis’ staff. “Let’s see…there are plenty of traditional foods in Rome and Greece. Their cultures were the start of modern civilization and philosophy for many.”
“Been there, done that,” Beerus responded. “Greek influences are everywhere.”
“How about Egypt?”
Beerus went silent. “Having their food reminds me of my childhood…kind of painful memories if you ask me. I’d rather not dwell on them.”
“Alright,” said Whis, trying to come up with something original. “Mexico perhaps? They have these foods called tacos, quesadillas, burritos and other similar dishes.”
A video popped up, showing beans, meat, lettuce and cheese wrapped inside hard chip shells and soft flour rolls.
“That actually looks pretty tasty,” Beerus admitted, licking his lips.
“Urgh,” said Whis in disgust as he watched Earthlings eat them with their hands. “Too messy for my taste.”
“You’re no fun.”
“We could try…African foods? Exotic foods from islands?”
“Too primitive. I want something bigger and more filling.”
Whis slapped Beerus on the head. “You shouldn’t judge other countries and cultures like that! You’re not one to talk about Earthling cultures. I’ve been around longer than you.”
“Speak for yourself,” Beerus scoffed, crossing his arms. “You’ve been perfectly fine with me deciding to destroy cultures on other planets.”
“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t judge other cultures based on the foods they create.”
Beerus stared at Whis and raised an eyebrow. “You. Do. The. Same. Thing!” he yelled.
“Moving on,” said Whis with a wave of his hand. “If you’re not gonna behave, we can postpone this search for another century or so.”
Beerus held up his clawed purple hands. “Alright, alright. I’ll cooperate. Just get on with it, I’m starving!”
Whis searched some more and found a unique culture that caught his attention. “It looks like this nation has a variety of foods from other cultures, as well as their own creations. It’s called the United States of America.”
“Oh, those self-entitled prats,” muttered Beerus. “England has some decency, despite being arrogant when it comes to royalty and style. I do love French food, especially the eggs, confit de conard, soufflé, etc. On the contrary, this U.S. culture seems…extremely entitled.”
“Indeed,” said Whis. “They have different perspectives on community. While our familiar Asian values consist of interdependence, efficiency, and familial decisions, over there they emphasize individuality over anything else.”
Images of hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, and sugar filled foods appeared in the air.
“Not as exotic as I’m used to, but then again, there’s lots of food,” Beerus mentioned. “If they have good pudding, then I might consider not destroying them.”
“Fair enough,” said Whis. “So, you’re up for visiting this strange foreign culture?”
“Why not,” Beerus replied. “As long as I can have some other Asian food as well. They do have foods from other nations right?”
Beerus peered into the distance and saw flashes of movement. “It looks like there are two men fighting in space over there.”
Whis waved his staff, the images above disappearing. He looked through the black orb in his staff and zoomed in.
“Well, it looks like the Saiyans Goku and Vegeta are training again. They seem to have nothing better to do. Though I must say, both of them are improving their techniques and endurance considerably.”
“Big deal,” said Beerus.
“Might I remind you that they can both turn Super Saiyan God now?”
“Well sure, but I could still defeat them using my power.”
“I don’t know if your 70% power use would help that time.”
“I didn’t use 70% when fighting Goku. I used less.”
“I remember you mentioning it,” Whis replied.
“And I could still use less if I wanted to and still win.”
“Shall we find out for sure?” Whis asked with a grin.
The two deities flew over to the fighting Saiyans. Both of them were in Super Saiyan God form. They appeared to be evenly matched.
“Wait a second!” Beerus said. “I thought you were going to take me to the U.S. for food.”
Goku stopped in mid punch and his black eyes brightened. “Did somebody mention food?”
He turned toward Whis and Beerus, reverting to his normal form. “Oh, hey guys! Vegeta and I were just having a sparring match again.”
Vegeta reverted to his normal form and glared at Goku. He noticed Whis and Beerus and lowered his head. “My apologies, Lord Beerus and Whis-sama. Kakarot’s still learning how to properly address authority.”
“It’s all good,” Whis replied. He stared at Goku’s worn out orange gi and blue shirt. Vegeta wore his blue training outfit and white gloves.
“I don’t know how you Saiyans manage to wear the same clothing and not have it worn beyond repair.”
“That’s what Bulma and Chi-Chi are for!” said Goku. “Chi-Chi can sew holes back together and Bulma invented this new machine that can wash and mend clothing in just an hour.”
“You know that Bulma has other things to do to, you know?” Vegeta mentioned.
“Oh right, like staring into the mirror, wishing she were ten years younger?”
“Kakarot, you don’t talk about my wife like that!”
“What? It’s true! There are signs that she’s close to being 40 years old…”
“Alright, guys, enough of that,” said Whis.
“I swear, if I don’t get food soon, I’ll destroy this fabric of space where you all stand!” spat Beerus.
“My Lord,” said Whis after a moment, “You can’t really destroy nothingness. “In the black of space are merely atoms and energy. You see energy can neither be created nor destroyed…”
“That doesn’t make sense,” he replied.
“If you would like a lecture on physics and astronomy…”
Goku giggled in his hands and Vegeta rolled his eyes.
Whis cleared his throat. “Beerus-sama and I were going to travel to a new culture called the United States of America to try their diverse food. Want to come along?”
“You bet I do!” said Goku with a whoop.
“Whatever,” said Vegeta. “But I’m eating by myself, away from you, clown!”
“Stop being so mean, Vegeta!” argued Goku. “I’m your friend, remember?”
“I remember nothing of the sort,” Vegeta responded.
“We better get going,” Whis said, while Beerus tapped his food impatiently.
Vegeta punched Goku hard in the head.
“Ow! Vegeta!” Goku protested.
“That was for talking trash about my wife!”
Goku retaliated with a punch of his own. “This is for being mean to me all the time!”
“Alright you imbecile, how about…this!” He shot a blast at Goku, who narrowly dodged it.
Whis sighed as he tapped his staff in the airless space.
“I’ve had it with you Saiyans,” Beerus growled. He conjured up a flaming ball of destruction and hurled it at the Saiyans. Whis stared at the scene with concern.
Both Saiyans noticed the ball coming at them and powered up to Super Saiyan God. They both pushed against the ball at the same time and screamed. They slowly pushed it toward Beerus, Beerus holding it with one hand. Gradually, the ball inched back toward the Saiyans.
“See Whis?” grinned Beerus. “I’m using 20% of my power right now and they are still struggling.”
The fiery ball was now inches from their faces. The two of them looked at each other and in a last attempt, pushed back with all their might. Goku raised his fist seconds before Beerus raised his other fist. The light from Whis’ staff surrounded the group. Beerus and Goku punched the fiery sphere at the same time, just as everyone was teleported away. The sky seemed to break into many pieces, turning the area briefly into what appeared to be a crystal-like cave. Red, blue and green glares shone off the surfaces of the area like it was moving on its own accord.
The world sped up and Goku could feel his body being stretched to abnormal proportions. He could do nothing but endure the dizziness and close his eye.
When it seemed like the nauseating feeling would never cease, Goku felt himself fly out of some sort of box and land on a hard surface on his back. Vegeta and the others soon followed.
Groaning, Goku stood up on shaky legs, Vegeta doing the same. Beerus leaned down and vomited in the corner. Only Whis appeared to be standing up, unfazed.
‘What…what happened?” Goku groaned.
“Don’t…ask me…” Vegeta panted, shaking his head.
“Whis,” said Beerus in a low grave voice. “What did you do?”
“It appears that your fighting has accidently sent us in another dimension,” Whis replied. “Fortunately it is indeed, in the U.S. like I planned. I wanted to try Florida first to get a taste of their oranges…”
“So hot,” panted Beerus. “Why is it…so hot?”
Even Goku and Vegeta could feel sweat beginning to form on their faces and beneath their clothes.
“Oh, I forgot to mention that the state of Florida can get hot and humid during the warm seasons,” Whis replied.
“Seriously?” Beerus asked in annoyance. “What is this place anyway?”
The four of them stopped and stared as a crowd of Earthlings stood in a semi-circle around them. They were holding up their cell phones, taking pictures of the strange occurrence. Several of them were clapping and cheering.
“It looks like these Earthlings are wearing costumes,” Goku mentioned. Indeed, teenagers, adults and several children were dressed up in superhero outfits, long dark capes and some had masks over their faces. Toward the right, a group of men wore orange gis and blond spiky wigs.
“Cool costumes, dudes!” one of them called out.
“Hey look, it’s Goku and Vegeta!” said a young boy in a Majin Buu costume.
“How the hell do they know our names?” asked Beerus with suspicion.
“Well, I’m sure everyone has heard of Goku and Beerus from around the world,” said Whis. “The Supreme Kais briefly let humans know what’s going on, then use magic to make them forget that end of the world battles happened in the first place. They watch over all of Universe 7, and not just Japan on Earth.”
“They are from the Dragon Ball Z show!” exclaimed a woman dressed like Bulma. “I saw them come out of the TV!”
This statement took all four of them by surprise.
“What show?” asked Goku.
“I assure you Earthlings,” Whis responded. “That there is nothing to be concerned about.”
Vegeta glanced at the overhead TV, which was now buzzing with static.
Whis waved his staff. “Let me fix that.”
He waved it again. And again. And again.
“How peculiar. It appears my power isn’t working properly.”
“Can I have your autographs?” called another man.
Beerus growled and raised his hand to the sky. He focused hard on conjuring a purple blast of destruction. Nothing happened save for a few sparks.
“What is the meaning of this?! I’m a god of destruction. Why can’t I use my powers?”
Goku and Vegeta tried powering up as well, but nothing happened. Goku could feel a brief buzz of energy, but nothing else.
“Hey, maybe we need to focus harder on our powers,” Goku suggested. “I felt some brief ki earlier.”
“Like that’s gonna help,” replied Vegeta. “This world has drained us of our energy!”
“But we still know how to fight,” Goku said. He jumped up and hovered a few centimeters off the ground. He pushed himself up with his arms. “Come on, come on…I can fly. Let’s…do this!”
The other three characters also tried to fly, only for them to hover from the ground slightly.
“This is ridiculous, Whis! Is this some kind of joke? Take me back to our dimension this instant!”
“I don’t think that’s possible, unless…”
The angel stared at the TV again. He turned to the Earthlings. “Did any of you mention this show earlier?”
“Yes, Dragon Ball Z,” called a man dressed like Beerus. “It was on earlier until there was static and you guys dropping in…literally.”
“You dare try and mimic a god?” Beerus asked in distain. “If I had my powers now…”
“This world does look strange…and much duller,” Vegeta added. “There seems to be more colors blended together. No black outlines on anything. How can we tell where one item starts and another ends?”
“I didn’t know you were into art, Vegeta,” said Whis.
“I’m not! I just happened to notice how strange this world looks. I’m sure you do as well.”
“I just hope there are strong opponents here,” said Goku. “I can feel all of your energy but not the Earthlings’ energy.”
“Looks like trying to fight each other to break dimensions isn’t going to work,” said Vegeta.
All of them screamed and made contact with each other’s fists at the same time to be sure. The only reaction they got was the cheering of the cosplaying crowd.
“Darn it,” Vegeta muttered.
“Does this place have pudding or not?” Beerus asked.
The room went silent for a moment.
Then, Goku turned to the right and looked ahead. “Look, there’s another TV! It must be a portal to get us back!”
He ran with all his might, back on the ground toward the device.
“Wait, Goku!” called Whis. “What are you doing?”
Goku rushed closer to the TV. An ad for a new car had just finished and the president was speaking on a political commercial.
“Hold on, Chi-Chi, I’m coming home!”
Whis tapped his staff on the ground several times, to no effect. With a sigh, he rushed after the Saiyan. Beerus and Vegeta hurried behind him.
On the TV, there was talk of a newly built wall, a denial of allegations, and a disdain for immigrants.
“I’m Donald Trump and I approve this message…”
Goku rammed headfirst into the president’s face on the TV, causing the screen to go dark and glass to shatter to the floor. Sparks flew from exposed red and blue wires.
“KAKAROT, YOU IDIOT!” yelled Vegeta.
Goku pulled himself from the interior of the TV, looking dazed, his black hair sizzling with smoke. “I’m okay.”
Security guards soon rushed to the scene, while the crowd continued to gasp and gawk at the newcomers.
“What is the meaning of this?” asked a large chested man. “You know you’re gonna have to pay for that. I’m going to have to ask you four to leave.”
“Finally,” Beerus said. “I’m hungry and I’ve said that enough times.”
Whis pulled a bunch of Zeni currency from his pocket.
The guard took the green bills from his hand and examined the picture of a Chinese man to the right on each Zeni.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept this kind of cash,” said the guard.
‘How about Yen?” Whis asked.
“We only accept U.S. dollar bills, credit cards or checks.”
“Remind me…what are those again? And how does Zeni compare to dollar bills?”
“Enough of this madness, Whis,” said an impatient Beerus, pulling him on the arm. “We’re going to eat.”
He grabbed the Zeni from the man’s hand and stormed off.
“Hey wait for me!” Goku called.
“Seize them!” ordered the guard. Several other men and a woman gathered around in their dark uniforms.
It was then that the guards realized their biggest mistake of the day. Vegeta effectively dodged their large fists and back flipped out of their reaches. Their punches didn’t faze him…he just responded with hits to their guts, groins, and chins. The Saiyan swung his leg and one of the men hit the ground with a heavy thud. Whis watched from a distance, enjoying the show.
“Show some respect to the prince of all Saiyans!” Vegeta commanded at all the guards on the ground. Thankfully, they were merely knocked out. The crowd was in an uproar, some yelling at them to leave, others cheering them on.
“Hurry, before more guards show up!” called Goku, waving his hand. Whis left a few Zeni on the ground for the unconscious guards. “I’ll make it up to you with some honey grazed salmon and a leafy salad,” he called, before hurrying forward. Vegeta didn’t hesitate to run after them through the double glass doors and into the outside world. The anxious crowd ran after them, but they eventually couldn’t catch up with two strong Saiyans and two deities.
The four of them stopped and caught their breath. “Aw no!” complained Goku. “Without our powers, we’re never gonna get back home!”
“Quiet your whining, Kakarot,” responded Vegeta. “We’ll figure something out.”
Beerus examined his hands. “I didn’t know I had that many lines and wrinkles. My skin is not even the one usual shade of purple. It looks, darker somehow.” He stared into a nearby store window. “My eyes are the same, though.”
“I’ll go walk into this store and ask if we could get a ride somewhere,” said Whis.
As Goku stretched his legs and Beerus yawned, Vegeta stared silently in front of him. Cars whizzed by and people went about their daily lives, not giving Goku and company any attention.
Vegeta noticed a woman walking down the sidewalk with a baby in a stroller. Her hair was dyed teal blue and cut short. She was talking on her cell phone in an upbeat voice, while pushing her stroller along. A pang of sadness hit Vegeta in his core.
‘Bulma…will I ever get a chance to go back and see her? I know I’ve been arguing with her for the past several days, but I can make it up to her. And Bra. I hope Bulma’s taking good care of her. As much as I dislike my weak excuse for a son, it would be alright to see Trunks again. I can’t live forever powerless like this. How am I supposed to surpass Kakarot now?”
“You alright, Vegeta?”
Vegeta cleared his head and turned toward Goku with a glare. “Yes, I’m fine.”
Whis stepped out of the store, munching on a chocolate bar. “Great news! I asked the person inside where the nearest Pan-Asian restaurant is, and he said it was just a couple blocks away. He said to look for the name in bold gold letters. Let’s go.”
“It’s about time,” said Beerus.
The four fellows followed Whis down the street, across crosswalks and passing passerby.
‘Hey, I see a sign over there,” Whis said, pointing to a building.
“And I smell something good,” added Beerus. The four of them raced toward the building and stopped in front of it.
The building exterior was painted tan, while a red villa style roof covered the building from above. A salon was positioned toward the left, customers making their way in. Toward the right, in “bold gold” words was…
“Soupa-Saiyan?” Goku asked in confusion. “What kind of form is that?”
The “O” in “Soupa” had a single red star in the center of it. Between the two words was a sculpted picture of a bowl of thick noodles with chopsticks in the center. The light blue bowl was sitting on a light yellow cloud.
“Is that a nimbus cloud?” asked Goku curiously. “And how do these Earthlings know about us, Saiyans?”
“This place could be a trap,” Vegeta mentioned. “Best to stay alert.”
“Don’t worry, Vegeta!” said Goku. Then he asked, “Why would they want to trap us?”
“You saw those guards back there. You saw the crazy crowd. They could do anything to us if they tried hard enough. We may still be skilled fighters, but we still don’t have our powers back. I bet you wouldn’t notice a food-themed trap if it was right in front of your stupid face!”
“Hey!” Goku argued, but Whis separated the Saiyans with his staff. “We eat. Now.”
“Knowing who we are. That’s one thing we’ll never figure out,” said Beerus. “What matters now is finding a way back to our world. And eating.” He pushed his way to the front.
Covering the windows were two large light blue posters, each with several yellow Dragon Balls on it. The words “Asian Noodle Bar” were below another yellow “Soupa Saiyan” logo on the poster. Cartoon thought clouds said quotes such as “It’s over 9000!”
Vegeta scratched his head. “I think I remember saying something like that back when Nappa was still alive.” Then he shrugged carelessly and followed the others. Beerus casually crushed a black “Please wait here” sign with his foot and walked inside. Whis went in after him, followed by Goku, then Vegeta.
“Wow! Check this place out!” exclaimed Goku.
Inside the restaurant were a series of tables in rows, some with chairs and others with booth seats. The light fixtures above the tables were sculpted to look like white clouds. Digital artwork of Goku, Cell, and other Dragon Ball characters hung from the orange wall to the right. Customers sitting at the tables admired them as they ate. A small glass case displayed Dragon Ball figures.
To the far left, “Soupa Saiyan” was written in yellow, graffiti style against a dark gray wall. Over by the kitchen, stacked on top of each other, were boxes of small Funko Pop figures of Dragon Ball characters. A Monopoly board game, themed Dragon Ball Z, was positioned nearby. White plastic cups and bins were stacked neatly on top of each other on a table, for guests to take. A sign under a row of Ramune Japanese drinks on a shelf read “Do not touch.”
A TV overhead was playing episodes from the show.
“I sense an opening in space and time,” said Whis, mentioning to the screen. “I think if we can climb up to reach it, then we can find a way to go through the screen and back to our world.”
“How’s that supposed to work?” Vegeta asked.
“We’ll just have to try, won’t we?” asked the angel.
The customers, previously chatting away stared at them in an awkward silence.
“Cosplayers?” asked a young girl.
“Attention, mortal humans!” announced Beerus. “I want the chefs here to prepare the three finest meals you have and bring them to me. And also, bring me six plates of pudding, any flavor will do.”
“Wow, they are great voice actors too,” answered the young girl’s older brother.
“Just because I don’t have my powers, doesn’t mean I can’t crack a few heads along the way!” the god added.
Whis grabbed hold of Beerus’ shoulder. “Calm yourself, my Lord. Clearly, these mortals weren’t expecting us to come in like this. Be sure to be on your best behavior and remember your manners.”
“Fine, Whis,” Beerus grumbled with a deep breath.
“Hello, and welcome to Soupa Saiyan!”
Whis and the others watched as a young woman wearing a black Soupa Saiyan shirt walked over to them. “How many in this group?”
“Four,” they all said.
“Cool, what are your names?”
They each told her.
“Do you have any last names?”
The characters remained silent.
“Well…we don’t exactly have any last names,” Goku admitted.
The woman stared in confusion. “Just because you’re cosplayers does mean you don’t have to say your full…”
“Oh let those people have their fun,” interrupted a guy wearing an identical shirt, who walked over to them. “After all, this is a Dragon Ball Z bar.”
“Very well,” said the woman. “Follow me.”
She led them to a wooden table with four chairs on either side. The four characters sat down whole the woman passed out menus to them. “Your server will be with you in a moment,” she said, and then walked away.
“Oh my goodness!” Whis said aloud in excitement as he stared at the menus in front of him. “So many wonderful selections here. Where do I start?”
Beerus and Goku, too, were looking at their menus.
Meanwhile, Vegeta was glaring at people who stared at them, like they were weird.
“Stop staring at us like that!”
“Aren’t you taking your acting a little too far, dude?” asked a man with glasses, sitting at another table.
“This is how I speak!” he answered. “How dare you address me so casually like that!”
The man grinned and gave a mock bow. “Apologies, Vegeta-sama. Don’t let Kakarot steal all your fangirls!” He laughed and continued eating his steak.
Vegeta sat in utter confusion. “This world is nuts,” he muttered.
One of the yellow menus read “Build your own soup!” in regards to soup selection. Cartoon pictures of vegetables, a muscular chicken and a brown cow were positioned next to three separate bowls. There were pictures of several types of noodles in bowls: rice, egg, zucchini, and udan. Down below was a list of different proteins to add to it.
Several foods were listed under “Appetizers:” Pork Dumplings, Veggie Dumplings, Fried Pork Eggrolls, Fried Tofu Cubes, Senzu Beans…
“I’m going with Senzu Beans!” called Goku.
“Why am I not surprised?” asked Beerus.
“Pork dumplings sound good to start,” mentioned Whis.
“I’m not hungry,” said Vegeta.
“Come on, why not?” asked Goku.
“Don’t want to talk about it.”
“You gotta eat something. You’re always hungry.”
Whis thought for a moment and then spoke. “You miss your wife, don’t you?”
A hint of red appeared on Vegeta’s cheeks.
“I understand,” said Whis. “I know we got into this mess, but I assure you, we will do what we can to get back.”
“Why not try going through the TV now?” asked Vegeta. “It was your random idea after all.”
“Not until Lord Beerus’s stomach is satisfied,” Whis replied. “Go on, eat something. Food always helps, especially for Saiyans.”
“Very well. I guess I’ll try the veggie dumplings then.”
“Splendid!” said Whis. “And don’t forget, that is just for starters.”
They continued looking at their menus.
Several kings of soups were listed under “Signature Bowls:” Vietnamese Pho, Trifecta, Vegetarian Bowl, Korean Fire Noodles, Korean Fire Burrito (very spicy!)
“I’ll go with the Korean Burrito,” said Beerus. “It may be messy, but at least it’s something different.”
“I warn you, it is spicy, my Lord,” warned Whis.
“As long as it’s not that Wasabi poison, I’m good.”
Japanese cheesecake and Pocky were listed under “Sweets.”
Goku gasped aloud. “They have Kaioken and Ultra Instinct soup?! How cool! I’m going for those!”
“Hey, I’m going to order those first,” argued Vegeta, “and surpass you!”
Goku laughed. “Nice try, Vegeta, but I already mastered those forms and you haven’t yet.”
“Hate to burst your bubbles,” said Whis, but it looks like those meals cost $30 and $50 respectively. We don’t have any U.S. dollars, let alone enough Zeni.”
“Then why didn’t you mention that earlier?” asked Beerus.
“Because the two of us are used to getting our food for free. Doing that doesn’t work in this realm.”
Beerus tapped the table with his finger, annoyed that nothing was blown up yet. “How ridiculous! I’m a destroyer god. Whenever I want something, I better get it or else, everything gets destroyed.”
“You don’t have your powers, remember?” asked Goku.
“Don’t remind me, you battle-hungry fool!”
“Looks like I was right after all,” said Vegeta. “We have no money of use to this world, now let’s get out of here.”
Before anyone could move, the server placed four glasses of iced water in front of them. “Hi there, my name is Arika.” He had short black hair and glasses. “My favorite Saiyans and deities! May I take your orders?”
“Ultra Instinct and Kaioken!” Vegeta and Goku said at the same time.
“How ill-mannered of you two,” chided Whis. “You’re supposed to take turns.”
“I’m a god, so I go first,” said Beerus.
“No fair!” whined Goku.
“Only one way to find out who gets to go first,” said Whis.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, right?” asked Beerus.
“Ready?” asked Goku.
“Bring it,” said Vegeta.
Beerus answered with a growl. Then all three chanted, “Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!”
Beerus put out two fingers, Goku held his fist and Vegeta held his palm downward.
“Oh dear,” said Whis. “Looks like it’s a tie. You’ll have to try again.”
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!”
This time, Vegeta made a fist while Beerus and Goku faced their palms downward.
“Too bad, Vegeta,” said Whis. “You got “rock” while the others got “paper.” You’re out.”
“Seriously?” he grunted in anger. “Paper doesn’t even harm rocks!”
“It’s down to you two,” said Whis as Goku and Beerus glared at each other.
“Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!”
Both put out their fists. Two rounds later, Beerus used scissors and Goku used rock.
“Yes!” cheered Goku. “I won!”
“Unbelievable,” said Beerus, crossing his arms. “When we get back to our world, your house will be the first to go ka boom.”
“No, no, please don’t, Lord Beerus!” cried Goku.
“Let’s just figure things out later, shall we?” asked Whis, trying to calm the others down.
“Ultra Instinct soup for me please,” said Goku, “Several Senzu Beans, and beansprouts.”
Arika scribbled down his order. “Next?”
Vegeta stared at the menu one more time. “I’ll have the veggie dumplings, the Kaioken soup, plus a vegetarian bowl of soup.”
“And for you?” he asked Whis.
“May I have the pork dumplings, a bowl of zucchini noodles and the Japanese cheese cake for desert?”
“Of course,” said Arika.
“Give me your finest pudding, a spicy burrito, these fancy jalapeno veggies and pudding.”
Very well, Lord Beerus,” said Arika. “Your orders will be ready shortly.”
Half an hour passed. Then an hour.
“How long is this going to take?” asked Beerus.
“He said it would be soon,” said Whis.
The four individuals clapped when Arika and another server came back with their meals and appetizers.
“Got to bring starters, meals, and desert for a true Saiyan feast,” he grinned.
“Thank you, kind sir,” smiled Whis.
For the next hour, the only sounds they made were the sounds of slurping, chomping, chewing and “yummy” as they inhaled their food. Goku finished Ultra Instinct soup in a flash: all five soups, four dumplings, and three fried eggs. He popped a green bean into his mouth and swallowed. A shocked look appeared on his face.
“Hey…this doesn’t taste like a Senzu Bean! This is just a regular bean! I don’t feel any energy coming back. And the cut on my leg I got yesterday hasn’t healed right away.”
“Like I said before,” mentioned Vegeta. “This suspicious world is messed up.”
Beerus let out a loud belch after drinking his mug of beer.
Whis glared at the god and shook his head, sipping on a glass of white wine.
“This food is not as authentic as real Asian food,” Beerus muttered. “I’ll remember this insolence…”
“You sure got lots of vegetables, Vegeta,” Goku mentioned, cutting Beerus off.
“So, I didn’t know you liked them so much.”
“Well, they are good. Food is food,” Vegeta answered with a shrug. He picked up a carrot and a lobster tail from his soup and inhaled them into his mouth.
“Ew!” said Goku in disgust. “I hate carrots and seafood.”
Whis happily finished his pork dumplings and was halfway done with his soup when…
Beerus spit out chunks of meat and jalepeno as he coughed and stuck out his tongue. His eyes were watering and he gulped down half of his glass of water.
“I told you that it was spicy, my Lord,” Whis said. “You really should be more careful when eating.”
Beerus swallowed the water and panted. “Well…Earth is getting destroyed no matter what dimension it’s in!”
“Hey, look at this,” said Goku. He reached over and took a Funko Pop from the large stack. He held the miniature figure in the box toward Vegeta’s face. “Look at your big bobbly head and black eyes. How cute!”
“Get lost!” he yelled, pushing the case away.
“Look, they got one of me, too!” said Goku, holding a miniature bobble head figure of Goku in a box.
Vegeta glared at a Frieza Funko Pop, grabbed it and immediately smashed at the box with his fists.
“Hey guys,” called one of the staff. “Those are just for show. Put them back.”
“Can we keep them, please?” Goku pleaded.
“I said, put them back.”
Vegeta stood up and said “Alright.” He picked up the Frieza Pop and threw it overhand with his right hand. The box landed with a thud on a nearby grill on top of steak slabs. One of the chefs gasped in surprise as the box landed and the flames from the grill rose up.
“Haha!” gloated Vegeta, smiling for the first time since his arrival. “Serves you right, Frieza.”
“We’re going to ask you to leave,” said the manager, who came out of a back room.
“Like we haven’t heard that before,” muttered Beerus.
“Not without paying for their meals first,” said the woman server they had first seen. “Judging by how much they got, it costs well over $160.”
Goku gasped in horror. “But…we don’t have that much. We have never even seen a U.S. dollar before!”
“Pay up or I’ll call the cops.”
“What are cops?” asked Goku.
“The police, you idiot!” answered Vegeta. “Without our powers, we can’t escape them once they come! We have to leave.”
“They have guns, right?” asked Goku. “Bullets don’t have an effect on us.”
“In this world, that may not be the case,” said Whis. “We can’t risk it.” He stuffed a piece of Japanese cheesecake into his mouth.
Beerus stared at his attendant. “I thought you were all about manners, Whis.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Whis replied with his mouth full.
The server was already speaking into her cellphone. “Yes, this is Lilian Lakewood. There’s a group of cosplayers who are refusing to pay for their meal…” She looked and saw Vegeta attacking the man that had taunted him earlier. “…and they are attacking other customers… 3 minutes? Perfect, thank you.”
“The police will be here in three minutes,” warned Beerus.
“How do you know?” asked Goku.
“I heard her conversation. Let’s leave. Now.”
Goku and Vegeta rushed toward the overhead TV.
“I don’t believe it,” said Vegeta. “That’s our world in there!”
“Here, said Goku as he picked Vegeta up.
“Let go of me, Kakarot!” yelled the prince.
‘We can’t fly here, so we’ll have to find a way to reach it.
Vegeta got the message and stood on Goku’s shoulders, taking care to put lots of pressure on them with his boots. On the screen, he saw Bulma’s smiling face and her speaking in Japanese. Subtitles appeared at the bottom of the screen.
Tears swelled in Vegeta’s eyes and he reached forward to tough her face. He let out a gasp when his hand moved though the screen. He could feel nothing except empty air, not even wires. “Whis! Come look, your portal theory was correct.”
Whis noticed Vegeta take his hand out of the screen and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.” He jumped onto Beerus’ shoulders and leaped toward the screen. Goku and Vegeta lost their balance and fell to the floor just before Whis sailed though. From behind the screen, he said, “Come on and hurry along!”
“Uh oh,” breathed Goku as police forces knocked on the glass doors from outside.
“That must be the police, then,” said Whis. “You guys can handle the fight, right?” Then he chuckled. “Of course you can.”
“Hey, wait!” called Vegeta.
Heavy footsteps pounded against the floor. Vegeta and Goku quickly stood up, back to back.
Black guns were trained on them. “Hands behind your heads where we can see them!” called the lead officer.
Goku did as he was told, while Vegeta got into a defensive stance.
“You’re under arrest for bodily harm to customers, eating without paying and attacking the security at the convention.”
“How do they know about that?” whispered Goku.
Vegeta didn’t answer.
Beerus put both arms behind his head as he sat on a booth seat. “Really? I’m a destroyer god. You can’t arrest me.”
“You’re not a real god. You’re just a cosplayer. State you name and date of birth,” said a woman officer with brown hair in a tight bun.
“Beerus-sama. Destroyer of planets. Resident of Universe 7. Born 75 million years ago.”
“You did not answer my question.”
“I don’t have to.”
She fired a blast at the god and the bullet landed on his forehead. Beerus flicked it aside with his finger. The woman stepped back in surprise. She turned to her squad. “Escort the citizens out of here. I have a feeling there’ll be a big battle right about now.
One of the police walked over to a TV and turned it off.
“A portal has closed,” said Whis, through another screen. “Reopen it or find another one.”
“He means turn on the TV,” said Beerus.
“What?” asked Goku.
Chaos interrupted the conversation. Guns fired several rounds of blasts at the Saiyans, who were quick enough to dodge everyone. One bullet grazed Goku on the arm, and another on his back. “Ouch!”
Beerus whacked the bullets away with his long purple tail. “I was hoping for someone more formidable…even without my powers.”
He picked up a nearby serving guy and hurled him into a pile of pots and pans on a table. “That’s for not having any pudding for me.”
Glass windows shattered and people ran outside, screaming. Goku and Vegeta landed punches at the guards, careful not to hit too hard.
“Lord Beerus!” Vegeta called. “We’ll hold them off. Can you turn on the TV so we can get…”
Beerus was sound asleep, his tail and hands still flicking the bullets away.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…”
Goku got the message and ran around the room, kicking away men as he went.
“Stop right there!” one man called, but Goku didn’t listen. He looked up toward the ceiling and found other TVs…all turned off.
He spoke aloud his attacks, as he punched the guards. “Double Sunday! Dragon Fist! Kamehameha! Final Flash!”
“That’s my attack, nimrod!” shouted Vegeta from the other room.
Goku ran to the other room. “Vegeta!” he cried
Vegeta had his hands behind his back and was held tightly by three officers.
Too late to realize his mistake of letting his guard down, he too, found himself pinned down.
From outside, the crowd sadly watched on, whispering to each other.
Two more officers lifted up the sleeping purple god. One of the women, pet him on the head, resulting in him hissing loudly with his eyes still closed. Startled, the woman backed away.
‘Looks like Whis isn’t helping us out of this one,’ though Goku, head lowered. ‘We’ll get arrested and I’ll never get a chance to go back to my world.’
Goku, Vegeta and the guards almost made it to the patrol cars when Goku stared into the eyes of the customers. They sparked with emotions, and unlike Goku’s black eyes, were of many colors: blue, green, brown, and hazel. One of the little kids stared crying.
‘I can’t let these people down,’ thought Goku. ‘They are fans of us, or know us somehow. I’m not gonna let myself get arrested by some arrogant humans.’
He saw Bulma, Chi-Chi, Gohan, and his friends in the eyes of the humans. They were counting on him for his return. ‘I’m coming home, guys. I have to.’
Apparently, Vegeta felt the same way, because moments later in sheer bursts of emotion and rage, the Saiyans broke free of the guard’s grasps. Vegeta and Goku ran back into the bar and jumped onto a table, staring at the black screened TV, so close, and yet so far away.
The police were nearly upon then, when a man said, “Wait.”
It was the same black haired man from earlier who had served them their food. “Let them watch two minutes of Dragon Ball Z.”
“These men are under arrest, sir, they have to come with us…”
“Two minutes. That’s all I ask. They are big fans of the show and got drunk when they were eating earlier. So drunk in fact, that they believed Zeni’s were dollar bills.”
Beerus stretched and stood up, walking toward the crowd of people.
Standing on a chair, the server reached up and turned on the overhead center TV. A scene with Goku becoming Super Saiyan appeared.
“Whis, a little help here would be good right about now!” called Goku.
“What’s the magic question?” asked a voice coming from inside the TV. “Beerus?”
A blank look appeared on Goku’s face.
“Two minutes are up,” said the guard.
“Pretty peas,” Beerus growled.
The lights in the restaurant suddenly flickered uncontrollably on and off, blinding everyone.
Vegeta squinted toward the screen. “Looks like Whis has his powers back, now.”
Veegta found himself being shoved to the floor and a foot stepping hard on his back. He strained under the weight and saw a purple tail swishing from above his head. With a powerful jump, the god of destruction disappeared through the screen.
“I swear, that bastard…” muttered Vegeta. Clenching his fists and standing up.
A rush of wind blew from above and the glass windows magically repaired themselves. The pots and pans flew back into place and even the spilled soy sauce and red hot sauce on the tables vanished.
“Good old Whis,” mentioned Goku.
Goku picked Vegeta up and the Saiyan reached toward the screen, putting his hand through the screen. He felt Whis’ hands pulling his arm and the rest of his body through the screen.
“Thank you so much,” said Goku to Arika.
“No problem, Goku-san,” he replied.
“Listen, about paying for the food…”
“No worries,” he said, brushing the issue aside.
Before going through, Goku saw the crowd of customers walking inside. “We love you, Son Goku!” they cheered. Goku smiled genuinely.
“Where’s Vegeta and the others?” asked a man.
“The crazy people, you mean?” asked an officer.
“Out back,” said Arika. Apparently, the flickering of the lights had blinded everyone enough for Beerus and Vegeta to escape. The lights flickered once again and the police made their way out of the building.
Before leaving, Goku quickly walked over and grabbed a Funko Pop that looked like Bardock.
“Hey, he looks just like me!” said Goku, happily.
He climbed up the chair, getting ready to jump.
“Until we meet again guys!” said Goku with a laugh before disappearing through the screen. The crowd cheered once more and many of them sobbed out loud.
Satisfied, Arika smiled and welcomed the customers back into the newly repaired restaurant. Soon, the day carried on like nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened. Apparently, Whis’s mind numbing magic had done its work, distracting enough people who were staring at the screen a moment too long. With no one left to pursue, the police decided to leave, but not before ordering some dumplings and some soup to go from the restaurant.
The four characters reappeared in a random space in outer space.
“Well, that was quite an adventure, wasn’t it?” Whis asked.
“Indeed,” said Beerus. He snapped his fingers and to his delight and relief, the rocky planet exploded in a flash of dust and light.
“Yes, our power’s back!” exclaimed Goku as he and Vegeta went Super Saiyan. “I seriously didn’t think there would be a world where we wouldn’t be able to do that.”
“Tell me about it,” said Vegeta.
“I’m off to go train back home,” said Goku. “Thanks for allowing me to tag along!”
“You’re quite welcome,” said Whis.
“I need to see Bulma and Bra,” added Vegeta.
“I need a nap after all that madness. Let’s be off, Whis,” Beerus commanded.
Goku and Vegeta flew toward Earth, while Beerus and Whis disappeared in a traveling beam of light.