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Negative Utilitarianism League

Age 726


Age 747




Pink-haired NUL-ite (†)
Blonde-haired NUL-ite (†)
Cyprus (†)

Main Members:

Pink-haired NUL-ite (†)
Blonde-haired NUL-ite (†)
Cyprus (†)
The Mayor (†) (until defection in Age 752)
NUL members (†)


Children of Chaos


The Negative Utilitarianism League was a group of like-minded philosophers who subscribed to the tenants of negative utilitarianism. They believed that reducing the pain and suffering in the world was the most important thing and stopped at nothing to achieve that goal. However, as the leaders of this group were extremely lazy, all they ever did was talk about how they were pained by various events/people/circumstances in their lives in group therapy settings, and thus never actively tried to achieve the goals of their philosophy.


In Age 747, during the events of Chasing Oblivion, the mayor of South City, after suffering a nervous breakdown, went on a philosophical retreat with members of NUL to a military research facility in Yunzabit Heights. The station was owned and operated by the Children of Chaos, who allowed the Negative Utilitarianism League to conduct retreats there (and outside in the cold, icy wilderness) once a year for a fee. Their retreats lasted for four months.

The NUL-ites spent the majority of their four month stay babbling on pretentiously about their problems, about things that made them suffer, trying to elicit pity from those around them. Their group was a permanent safe space, and no triggering was allowed (for it pained them mentally, and quite severely, if their words were to be taken seriously). The mayor did everything in his power to constantly troll them. While he did not seem to overtly latch onto their philosophy, he slowly became taken by its ultimate goal of reducing all pain through the actions of a benevolent world-destroyer (in his narcissism, he declared himself fit for that role). The main way he reduced his own pain was through the use of cocaine, which was a temporary solution at best.

Because the NUL-ites did nothing but sit around and talk about their feelings (a few did try to get the leaders to take action, but they always refused to do so), the mayor eventually decided to kill them. During one meeting inside the research facility, he had the Children of Chaos use smoke to coax the Yalung monster out of a vent and into the room, with the soldiers locking the only door inside, trapping the NUL-ites. Every last one of them was ripped to pieces by the yeti-like creature, save for the pink-haired NUL-ite, who almost escaped until the mayor shot her with a soldier's pistol.

Thereafter, NUL ceased to exist, although perhaps some people of low intelligence continued to practice or believe in this philosophy for years to come. The mayor ended up becoming a bit of a true NUL-ite himself when he later attempted to detonate an infinite energy device created by Doctor Gero and kill a large group of people. He was unsuccessful with his plan.

Known members[]

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