Beerus' Night Before Christmas l A DragonBall Christmas Story

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through my house, no Saiyan was stirring, all drunk and passed out. They'd hang their stockings by my chimney with care, but I'd switch them out, with Zarbon's underwear. Goku and his family were asleep in their beds, but Yamcha kept on bragging, I'm sad he's not dead. I hate this whole season, all the presents to wrap, how fun is this for me? Like a bad spinal tap! But out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I bounced off Majin Buu, because he'd gotten much fatter. I tried to get past him, tripped over the trash, oh great, Bulma looks mad now, here comes Vegeta's Final Flash!

A tune started playing outside in the snow, out the window, I saw him, he called out, "Hey bro!" And what to my wondering eyes was quite clear, a big happy Namekian, and his case of light beer! He was driving a sleigh but that can't be St. Nick, is that really him now, or just his sidekick? "I'm the real Kris Kringle!" The green guy up and sang, "and these are my reindeer, it ain't no big thang!" An actor? A rapper? Please tell me it's fiction, confound it, it's stupid, who gave him permission?! Not the top of my porch, now to whom I must call? Hurry up Trump, you must build that big wall! A bit peeved and before I could ascertain why, they zoomed quite unstoppable right through the sky.

Right up to my housetop the hooligans flew, with a sleigh full of toys, and Namekian Nicholas too. Krillin was tinkling, the dog that went 'woof!', cause up in the ceiling, we heard some big hoofs! I spit out my turkey and said, "Hit the ground!", out the chimney St. Nicholas came... He was muscle bound! Green man dressed all in fur, really was a good look, besides being tarnished in ashes and soot. He has all the toys in his oversized sack, this dude was so huge, I thought he was Shaq! Dark eyes, wait! They twinkled! His dimples were merry, I felt kind of bad, this wasn't so scary. His face looked quite happy, with kind of a glow, I felt I should give him my best old Bordeaux.

He hadn't, not a pipe, stuck between his sharp teeth, just a big smile, Goku saw and said "Sweet!" Of course he was strong, with a set of tough pecks, and his boots were well used, I'm sure it wreaks. I know he wasn't chubby and plump, I said to myself, "In the dark, he's the same as any old elf!" A wink and we knew there's nothing to dread, we'd rather have him than any white cracker head. He spoke not a word but then started to smirk, he saw all the panties, yeah, that's my work. He then spread his presents, and gave three 'ho ho ho's', last giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, it was now very clear, what does it matter, he could be from Zaire! Then I heard him explain, "Dude thought I was white! Merry Christmas to yall, yo, don't be so uptight!"