The One Where Bulma Goes Looking For Goku's Dragon Balls

a kayvee note
hi and hello im kv i worked real hard on this piece of shit pls mama my pucci's wet -KidVegeta (talk)

Story


Parsnips and jam. Knickers and tarts. An old, rusty spoon, I’d wager.

Tights is a puse, was a puse, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

She would love to put a nice savory truffle in bulma’s throat, or even a strawberry up the shitter. To night, this night, on this yonder night, where the day becomes night, when the sun sinks behind the horizon, like a lover’s fading passion, pumping with our lips, getting so carried away, but don’t think that makes me afraid on this night where tonight on this night we make everything okay with one wee kiss.

She was at the zoo and it was several years ago at least. Bulma is sixteen nowadays, smokin’, with a shaved puse and a face to cum on, except if your printer only prints out black and white photos, and then what’s the point?

Tights scream “oh mama mami papa papi its so grand i love the monkey and big gorilla ho-ho!”

Bulma couldnt agree less. She saw that gorilla’s lil red johnson (bein’ polite, pardon) and got a thrill up her leg. It was super hot. Monkeys made her quite so happy too because they were small and furry and didnt know exactly what was going on, it was better that way for bulma.

Bulma was a traveler in the great mountains lookit her go wow what a show, what a

Blimey im lost for words bulma is just too stunning her puse is clean like mr. q’s teeth

It’s hard feeling tired everytime. It’s worse being an alien from a distant planet everytime. They were the sexiest of all primates, well and true, blood for blood, you get it. Bulma likes little monkey boys. She has naughty anime pictures on a flashdrive in her room. She masturbates to them nightly, once, in a ritualistic way. Usually in the shower so no mess remains and it’s quite natural to be fond of yourself when you’re naked, especially when you’re bulma and you don’t got a dumb hairdo no more in the shower.

Evertim, know intergalactically as ‘Space Weasel the Goat Fetish Boy’, lauded the recent developments in advertisanal pioneering. “Evertim!” the round squeal in the crowd. “Ya evertim. Evertim longtim.”

This one beetle guy attacked this other beetle guy with a shotgun in the snow. He beat him down in the pavement, nigga the loser reduced to several juicy chunks. This gave Zarbon one erection that just had to be dealt with, haha you know the guy.

Anyways this is all to say two things: namely, that bulma is attracted to monkey-like animals; and finally, that the bloomers are on their way to a mysterious Dragon Ball in the woods! Bulma wants the balls to wish for her very own pet monkey whom she will groom daily and mate with at her leisure.

this is all to say, and good heavens me, that goku was bout to meet bulma. This is the start of a beautiful relationship. Little did he know that the teen hottie would one day marry the prince of goku’s monkey race (she has a fetish problem, dear me) and took his cum in her vagina at least two times to create two pseudo-alien offspring. It’s mesmerizing. How the fuck did those two mate, I just don’t get it.

People are ugly and stupid and even the best actors aren’t completely dedicated to their roles. Monkeys aren’t people, and they have nothing to hide. One monkey ate a banana and threw the peel at Bulma’s car. It didn’t do anything. This isn’t a fantasyland.

There once was a man who lived with the monkeys, and he grew a long grey-white beard. oh the monkeys hit him in the head with a rock and as he bled out in the grass, one of his longtime buddies licked his wound and ate his brain until he died. It was marginally sad, the stuff of low budget parodies, but the monkeys promised never to get upset with themselves again.

His name was Tarry McFortier. Tarry was a man’s man, sort of like men named Guy. Tarry bleached his eyebrows blond. He was an exquisite hominid. He would rustle through the bush and bamboo and declare (and I do declare) that monkeys are the scourge of the world. There were monkeys on the mountain and they all had to die.

Tarry was a serial killer, but he was beautiful, don’t forget. He had a manly chin, beautiful eyes and hair and ears and nose and mouth and other parts of face. who knows what women find attractive in guys its a great mystery. Tarry hated monkeys. This is the circle of life. One time evolution happened and we didn’t become monkeys again and then monkeys are eating an old man Whilikers’ brains. Tarry will return the balance of power.

Tarry Green, it’s a mystery machine!!

So like, Bulma stopped on the road. She took out her camera on the mountain road taking pictures of the view. There were other spike-like mountains in the distance, awash in fog. Pure euphoria, utter ecstasy. Is there any other reason to live? I am in pure bliss. I live and breathe and I am a hominid like all the rest.

she was moved by the beauty. i’s moved by the booty bulma’s pants dropped. she put two fingers in like real slick now like a legendary cat walking into a cat furniture story on clearance day. You gotta understand the beauty. The simple sheer pineapple pie beauty she saw in that view. It looked like 1000 places in non-urbanized china trust me, akira was lazy with G. Gohan’s hermit lair, jafeel me.

niggas hoppin down the street, sexy sadie what have u done u made a fool of evertim.

There are petulent ppl who say ull get urs yet m8, im drinkin in the pub 2 watch u fall down inna street m8. Now thats just rude.

Bulma’s the kinda girl who will rub her clit (counter-clockwise, mind u, she’s a weird-un) while simultaneously sticking at least two fingers (three on a horny day, four on a ‘I haven’t masturbated in three days’ sorta way) in her cunny tunnel. Get it kapeesh. For a boy that’s like fondling ur balls or pressin’ ur taint while ur hand rides that shaft. I mean in my experience thats just really a lot of work and i dunno how it really adds to the orgasm. Maybe it’s different for a girl since the cunny is for procreation of course.

premature ejaculation is not a medical condition as people would say we are evolved to cum as fast as possible. Sex isn’t about pleasure in that you don’t just have sex all the time cuz it feels good. thats human decadence and arrogance. Sex is 4 procreation ok, u cum good so we dont go extinct, thats it. u gotta cum in a girl, doesnt matter if she cums or if it takes 2 seconds or 20 minutes, it’s the same result in the geologic record. procreation is the meaning of life, u dnt gotta follow it, but it is a biological imperative that your body will seek out naturally.

The monkeys watched. One child ran under her, hoping for a taste of pucci juice. heh lookit all dat juice nigga what now holla at my boi!!!!!

ok so ok so so ok so ok right so there’s this girl, she got hot by a view and shlicked. She’s bulma, she has a beautiful puse. This is breaking news she has some puse hair but not all the hair of the vagina if you will she trims it rather neat and proper like a dainty queen, holla, and so we rest, and so we sit, and so we fap. She has a lil landing strip at the top, it’s quite cute, i wonder if at this point she’s a virgin, she probably is, she’s very tight no doubt, no doubt at all, now back to you walter.

Walter, the new’s host, looks around in shock. “H-he… just commited career sudoku!”

“Now, for the weather, Jim,” his mildly attractive, tanned and bleached co-host, Pepper Peppers P’prishka, smiled.

“Haha, thanks, Pep Pep. It’s gonna be cloudy tomorrow nigga, like shieeeet yo, bring yer umbrella.”

“Bling that ‘brella,” Walter said with much swag and moderate street cred.

“Yo, that’s what I’m talkin’ about, let’s have a look at these ‘brellas.”

thus began a pretaped sequence of Jimersalbury Mohicarin Jupjup goin to his house to show his blinged brellas, yo check it out.

“This ones mistress taylor, yo i got her in cambodia,” he said, his lips going out all like a beak and such, he has a thin, curly mustache, dark as my daddy’s coffee. “She’s got an emerald and several rupees pasted to her sides, see here.”

“Wow that looks expensive Walter agrees

“Ye boi now look at this one nigga, this’s my real gangsta playa, this is what i take out to all dem streets on the cloudy days, yo”

“Preach. Ahem.” Walter adjusted his tie.

“I put a 69 carrot diamond on this one,” he said, “it’s my bitch baby mama’s.”

“Haha, alright, well, settle down.” Walter adjusts his tie nervously and sweats like Newman in a sweatshop.

“Yo i got this one ‘brella, blinged the hell out of it back in ‘08 and-”

“Yeah well shut the fuck up,” Walter same amiably. “That is preposterous and irrelevant, and I don’t know who I am anymore. He quick took out a gun and put it in his mouth like a penis (a well practiced exercise for the venerable walter). Then bang bang shoot shoot that nigga dropped like a fly.

well be right back

So bulma’s on the trail. There’s a guy named Tarry in the bush hunting monkeys. He likes to eat their brains like Ji Sul’s monkey ate his brain after the policeman shot him in the head. It was a really beautiful showcase.

Bulma went going along. There was a nearly naked boy flying down the road on a bicycle it was a hideous show and Bulma wished vengeance upon that ugly human. On her way up the mountain to the Dragon Ball, Bulma fell asleep, it was a terrible trip.

one must wonder how she even made a dragon radar. How do u build a radar to track something like that, it makes no sense, it’s very contrived. Big blue fish jumped around in the river coursing down the mountain to the right.

That night she dreamt of two princes. One was a handsome lad with a widow’s peak and a nice crimson cape. He looked to be about 17 years old and his penis was uncut, per Saiyan regulations. Oh she sighed into her breast when she thought of him. her puss puss grew wet and she had to put at least a few fingers in its like a fat man needing a lemon cheese cake at a quarter after two! he was tethered to her somehow she did not know

This is where the Fast Lukan interjected. Bulma dreamed of a place, a magical place, where she could live with her beauty bae, her saucy dave, her Raticate, and how so forth this goes on yonder days, when Bulma and Tights read fairy tales to themselves. And oh, the handsome prince charmings they found ok.

Nigga lets get real. the next ones an island paradise. yo dawg theres a balla theres a prince look at him, got sommadat blue skin (whoop), got sommadat pointy ears (whoop whoop (damn nigga shit oh nigga my goodness nigga pardon my nigga my fellow nigga on this day my nigga)), gimme sommadat youth (swag fresh, a whipser from ss11 in the Ohioan), gimme sommadat swag royalty (lookit his satin robes of periwinkle and cobalt blue, and his majestic magenta cloak). He sat on the edge of the pool near midnight. His guards were not around. His bleached white hair shone in the moonlight, underneath eaves of golden, tropical-flared flowers.

In his arms was another, pale, ethereral as as a moon-drenched pond. The other’s hair was bushy. A brown furry tail curled around the being’s back and around the prince’s too. They were embraced in a kiss. And ol grunter supreme, bulma in the jeep car lookin’ for balls, she saw that monkey tail and wanted to be the prince, not the monkey. she wanted the monkey not the prince, see, haha, what a goddamn furry.

In the morning, she roused, she pissed, she shat, she made her way down the Lethe, large as a crater where yonder builder ants dig.

Wallabies and Barnarlbys, all of ‘em save Abercrombie are Christmas Curds.

She was horny. She likes balls. Balls are to girls what boobs are to men I’ve heard. I wonder if that’s true, or if it’s an old wive’s tale. Why are old wive’s talking about young men’s scrotums? I do declare that is a most passionate subject of many quilt-knitters and rocking-chair-rockers.

Da na na na na

SHE CAME TO GOKU’S HOUSE

Da na na na na

SHE STEP OUTTA HER JEEP

Da na na na na

Ain’t no one around

Da na na na na

She creepin up to the house

Yo WA LA LA LA

She aint go no time for trouble

YA LA LA LA LA

She go right in the house

OH SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

And now she’s in the house

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

Lookin for a Dragon Ball!!!!

OH LA LA LA LA

And there it is on the pillow!!

DA NA NA NA NA

But old Goku with the fishy smell

DA NA NA NA NA

Yo nigga hold up. Stop it down, slow easy rider, brah.

There he was he was goku he was gonna rule the world one day monkey king monkey do. He had a big fish and was gonna roast it over the fire. the smell of fish was in the air, rousing Bulma’s puse juice to moisten said puse.

“Hi kid im lookin for ur ball”

“Hi im goku”

Then she see the tail and all the good pleasantries go out the window. Now she wanna fucc him.

“Hi goku dragon balls r worthless jk i dont want 1 wat a beautiful tail u got”

“Ty fancy man”

“I’m no man!! Im girl!”

“What girl”

“Girl have puse”

“What puse”

“C’mere u!!”

This is like an rpg where u play for many days and when the sex scene finally happens, it just cuts to a dark screen with words on the screen. That’s not good enough even though I fapped to it at least 5 times and I love it anyways.

The mountains were tall and there was fog and bamboo everywhere. tricksters ran through the mists nigga poppin the orange juice whys there no orange juice in my fridge.

“Wheres ur balls” goku said aghast. Thety were in the bedroom, and bulma had taken off her panties. She was leaning against a dresser and holding one leg in her hand as she presented her vagina to the monkey boy. She was shaved of course bc this is my fantasy ok.

“Goku ur 12 ur sexually woke bitch.” she put the panties (pink with a hello kitty face on the puse side) on Goku’s face.

He liekd that a lot got real excited see. He pat her on the bare puse and she nearly cum from it she love monkey tail so much. “Where are balls though what the shit ur a freak of nature!!”

“No goku there are boys and girls this is a pussy get it kapeesh?”

“No” goku scream

“U put ur lil human dildo inside my vagine then u cum then we all happy nigga”

“Oh”

He pull down his pants but theres no rerection shown. “Goku what the fuck”

“What”

“Why ur peepee small”

“Haha im 12” (he didnt know what this was)

“Goku kun boy i need a breeding!!!!! A monkey for me i wanna get ridden by a filthy ape!”

Bulma was out of control swinging from the chandeliers and whatnot she want the puse.

Now theres 2 ways this could go icould write a sex scene which is hot and everyone wants or i could not do that.

a wise man once said if time cant wait then i cant wait

I don’t really find sex between goku and bulma to be funny. It’s hot and i came to it yesterday writing the scene but lets be real where’s the humor it’s been done a thousand times before.

Bulma awoke the next morning, wearing nothing but a towel because she had to take a shower after goku came in here ok do i have to spell it out 4 u camera guy

It was a nice mauve-and-rose sunrise, and she had a glass of champagne in her hand. Her hair was undone and it was time to leave. She had been impregnanted by a little monkey boy. Contrary to unpopular belief of one hyper ZZZZZZ-DAWG (represent) saiyan at age of 12 is sexually mature. Just ask Ledas haha he got chaiva pregnant with fuckin twins for titty’ bitch’s sake!!!!

I wish it were true that we were the sexiest of all primates. The purposeless euphoria of mankind, destroying the planet, must feel good. There’s really nothing else we can do. We were born to party, I know that as well as anyone. I like to party it’s all I do.

Bulma had the seed of a goku-kun in her cunny that tasted like honey.

However she was a darlin of Suzaku’s court. She maintained her dignity, and that meant running away from her lover in the night as quick as the morn risin of the sun. so she did. She ran to the jeep, where she had a gun but she would never use that for anything cept blowin her own brains out oneday.

She fled that bitch blue-haired harlot. She gone like the wind, down the mountain. But this is where things get crazy son for shit real.

On the way down from son gohan mountain of extraordinary pointiness bulma did a dirty thing. Now i know what ur sayin bitch why’s she in horny she just fuccd. Shut the fuck up you asexual little microbe. Not everyone has the same sex drive sheesh kapeesh.

“Rest a case!!” that was her look at her arm go she’s wearing a grey suit.

There was this woman. She was a right cunt.

“does anybody love anybody as mch as i love u bb” she took out her banana from her lunch sack (she had Goku’s scrotum in her mouth the night before) and patted it on the back it was a good boy a stalwart, worked a lot of these kinds of operations before. “O wait i need that dragon ball

She look up just when she slide the tip of the naner against her cunny gate. The road curved down and to the left, and it was a sudden and sharp turn. Bulma moaned as the banana’s tip pressed against her it was a nice feeling like when you’re really warm after coming out of a sauna and u drink a whole glass of cold water shit nigga thats what the universe’s about right there.

Shit bitch she go flyin off the edge of the mountain. She scream yea, and the banana go all the way inside her haha nigga u shoulda seen it, she was a monkey’s delicacy.

Below the smoldering wreck of Bulma’s jeep, the trickster, black as smoke, huddled and collected falling sparks. He jumped up into the car, smoke covering him. He jumped out again, standing on the hood of the car, which was pushed halfway up a tree.

In this nigga’s hand was a banana. He peeled it back and ate the whole thing. That’s when the trickster, slippery as cum, flew deeper into the jungle. There was an old man with a chicken bone. The trickster knocked that bitch over into a puddle, good heavens men, he got mud all over his wonderful light pink shirt. One of those shirts so light its almost white dawg that shits the tightest.

The next man the trickster men was a balloon of a man. Neanderthal was thick in his blood. He was eating porridge from a porridge bowl and walking about texting people eagerly. I wish the best for him, I really do. People are just people, but they are selfish and blind and petty. I hope it happens soon, but it probably won’t. He’s a Sisyphus in that way, I suppose.

chemical reactions and emotions and the only reason I haven’t done it yet is because things that should not matter to me do.

There was this woman who found the trickster third. They were back below the burning jeep. He had been since time began. His teeth shone with silver, his eyes with molten rubies. Diamonds coated his claws, and his tail was forked, where a dark blueish-green stone was locked into place inside the tail points.

He offered her things. Wealth and power were offered first, for they are the greatest temptations. The woman laughed and looked away. He tore away at his banana and asked her if she wanted eternal love or life. She raised her chin in impudence. The trickster gave the woman an offer that pulled at her vanity, but still she remained resolute. He offered her endless happiness next, and the woman looked him long in the eye before shaking her head.

“I know all there is to know. I have seen everything there is to see. I have tasted every food, sipped every drink, felt every season. I have known love and hate and greed and pride and every vice imaginable. I have more children than fingers and toes, and I care not for any of them. I have mated a thousand women, and none have satisfied me as much as a good night’s rest. What could you possibly want that I have not offered thus far? I am a fountain of knowledge and experience that you could use to conquer the world, if only… if only…

From above, something rustled, then fell. Bulma was charred and bloody and some of her organs weren’t in their right places. “Goddamn monkeys!” she was shocked and shit. “I was taken for a ride right there!”

A bird screeched and flew overhead, rustling the treeline. Suddenly, something orange and glass-like and small hit Bulma in the forehead. Her eyeballs exploded, it was gross. I mean, I can’t masturbate to this anymore, it was hard enough before.

“Monkey, monkey, here’s a goddamn monkey!” The trickster lunged at Bulma’s neck, slashing it open. Bright blood flowed out; he lapped it up like milk. That skank ass bitch fell down and didnt move no more not even once more i seen it myself brah it was in the paper. “Now, what do you-”

He never heard the shot. It took him in the neck. It was instant. Lethal. He fell over dead. The pistol smoking in her hand, the woman crept forward to inspect the beast. It looked like if hitler had bred a chupacabra. She grunted a mean grunt and rolled up her sleeves. It was a bloody affair pulling the rubies from the creature’s eyes; it was worse for the finger and tail jewels. But they were worth it.

The woman was a woman. She wanted pretty shiny oooh I can tell my GFs about this and show ‘em and make ‘em jealous but they have to pretend to like it, and this is how we all act like a bunch of goddamn babies.

Knowledge is a transitory thing, like the wind. If you aren’t there to experience it, it’ll blow on by. Bulma’s vaginal juices were still on that banana skin that the eye-less, finger-less, tail-less trickster corpse yet clutched. All of this is to say that as the trickster’s blood seeped into the dirt, the Earth absorbed it and its energy. It’s a pity he hadn’t died closer to where Buu was buried.

But that was just the moment that Su Tal (that might be his name, it might be fuckers), the Caretaker, was born, and that is a really big lie that I just told you all guys haha none of it happened bitches.

Tights holstered her pistol. She stared at the corpse of her sister and yawned. A monkey sat on a rock watching her. It was eating a mango, a filthy, tasty mango, because it was a dumb fucking animal. Its symbolism was deep and all, right. That shit’s fucking stupid. She unholstered her pistol in a sudden tantrum and shot the monkey. It was white-furred and old as the forest itself. Why she did it, no one knew, not even her. She picked up the half-eaten banana peel and ate the rest of it, finding the taste to be rather rich and flavorful in her estimation.

Tights was a good girl. The five star dragon ball had somehow dropped from the sky as a part of its secret and crazy trip to where it ends up actually in the real db timeline in the first saga. Anyways, it’s not gonna get there cuz this is some AU and some WHAT IF y’all. Nigga, I ain’t playin’ no more. Tights picked that ball up and realized it was of appropriate size. She took out a long string, woven for her by her grandpapa the mule dog Terrence. There were other dragon balls on it - the three star, the seven star, the six star, the two star. These were balls impossible for Tights to have what the shit.

She put the new ball on, completing the string with balls on it. Then once upon a time tights squatted in the mud and unclenched her sphincter. It was huge. She put a fist in immediately to warm herself up. Then she eased the first ball - the five star dragon ball 2 b precise homelies - into her stretched anus. There was a lot of lube, and even more love. Tights loved the feeling of being filled with the Dragon Balls. One day, she’d have all seven, and if she could fit them all inside her when she made her wish, why that would make her cum harder than ever.

As it was, she came in a few seconds now, but it wasn’t very good. Just like a 8/10 cum, like when ur bae gives u a birthday special. Tights is a petulant bitch. She needs those balls nd this was the tale of ‘What if Tights wanted to go searching for the Dragon Balls to create a huge anal bead chain that she would then insert into her gaping asshole when she made her wish to have the sickest, hardest cum ever’ thanks for reading like comment subscribe :) ;) :3

Also hahahaha her name is fuckin Tights.