User blog:Versus Zero/My new Reviews

I'm going to make all the reviews of my previous account, again from scratch, for many reasons. One I disabled my first account, second my reviews got a bad review, third since back when I joined, while I knew good English, I didn't really have proper spelling in my blog, mostly because I used to write too casually.

Also forth, the only reason I made my first review blog in the first place, was because everyone else was making one.

Now why am I making a review blog again? Because I want to correct the mistakes I did in the first and make better reviews.

I'll be keeping my old rating system: Those are my ratings:
 * 20: Legendary
 * 19: Great
 * 18: Awesome
 * 17: Well done
 * 16: Pretty good
 * 15: Good Enough
 * 14: Good
 * 13: Could be better
 * 12: Mediocre
 * 11: Not good
 * 10: Almost bad
 * 9: Bad
 * 8: Horribly written
 * 7: Lame
 * 6: You're close to reach a new low
 * 5: At least you tried.
 * 4: A little(lot) more effort would be nice.
 * 3: Well things aren't looking good from now on.
 * 2: At least you can use the edit button
 * 1: Take a point, so you won't feel bad
 * 0: Good for you, not many fan fictions will reach this level.

Now you'll have to wait a bit for the reviews, but I'll try to post them soon.

Dragonball Unlimated : Weak Saga
Now I'm not going to re-read the fan fiction again, it's too large and I can't really tell what the writer tries to say most of the time, but I'll try to give a more fair review and my new review will be based on the things I said in my original review.

Also I'm only reviewing the weak saga here.

Lets get started:

Pros:

 * 1) Well I couldn't find many actual pros, although a big gathering of past villains sounds good in theory.
 * 2) The title sounds good, it kinda reminds me of Spider Man Unlimated.
 * 3) I don't know why would anyone name a saga weak, I'm sure it's based on the weak villains. Now I find this as a pro, for only one reason, it sounds like a parody of the actual DB sagas from the series. You know, in which theres always a stronger villain.

Cons:

 * 1) Well the obvious one, is the bad writing, too many spelling and grammar mistakes, lack of paragraphs and commas.
 * 2) The story is hard to follow, because it's not organized properly.
 * 3) The writing seems to be rushed, as in some parts Gohan is misspelled Rohan and in others Gohan's name is almost properly spelled(No capitals).(I'm not sure whether Rohan is another character or not).
 * 4) Lack of capitals.
 * 5) Too unoriginal to work. We had old villains(both strong and weak) getting out of hell and back on earth attacking and rampaging, two times already, in the movie Fusion Reborn and in Dragon Ball GT(Super 17 Saga).  Plus the Ginyu force coming back, has happened two times already, in filler and both arcs were very uninteresting and not to mention they were parody characters to begin with. Theres another unoriginal thing about the story, but I've already mentioned it in my first review.
 * 6) Not really a con, but it's confusing of how the full story is on a different page and the unlimated page is only one saga.

Final Thoughts: While the story is badly written, is hard to follow what's going on and the villains are not interesting, I think the writer of the story was actually trying to make something new and interesting, though he/she fails in execution. You can't really make a story be interesting, when you're copying from the existing material(almost identical copy), unless you create something new and different, people will not want to read it.

Also even if the plot(the little bit I can understand from the fan fic) was good, with bad writing, not proper grammar, lack of organization and all in all a rushed effort, people won't even bother to read through the end.

Score: 3.5/20 "- With weak villains/writing/Saga, comes an even weaker plot."

Dragonball Unlimated on one page
From what I understand, my second review had too many points, that were the same as the ones from my first review(they were both of unlimated, though the second was of the full story).

So lets get started:

Chapter 1:
See the above review.

Chapter 2:
Boy this already seems like a rushed story.

Pros:

 * 1) I guess Piccolo taking a rock and turning it, into some kind of metal.
 * 2) The super Nameks sound interesting, only sounds interesting(kinda reminds me of 900.500)

Cons(mostly WTF section):
"KAKARTO HOW DID U ACENSEND" Ascend to what? "Vegeta : shut it Kakarot" Seriously WTF? What did Goku say? This is just random
 * 1) Legendary Super Namek Gohan. Since when Gohan is namek? Isn't Super Namek just a term for Piccolo?
 * 1) LSS10. - When did Vegeta reach that level? When were the other 9 forms introduced? Is that a Broly reference?
 * 2) Can't tell whether the story is talking about a training or a fight.
 * 1) Is the story about Gohan and Piccolo? About Vegeta and Goku? About the time chamber? The gravity room? I don't understand.

Final Thoughts: Not only the writing didn't improve from the first chapter, it actually got worse(which could be a warning of things to read later), it talks a lot about random things, changes characters too quickly, in other words the story has bad pacing. It was never explained why they're training(it didn't actually explain anything).

The whole combination of characters, forms and training, is a big clusterfuck, the writing got even lazier and all an all this chapter is a pefect example of something lost in translation(because I'm not sure if this fan fiction is in English).

Score: 1/20 "- If you can't get better, at least don't get worse."

Pros:

 * 1) if my spelling is bad ill improve on it - thank you.
 * 2) Some other LSS forms are mentioned.
 * 3) I can understand it a bit more than the other chapters.

Cons:
"Then it happened i started my power started to rise just as a near super saiyan and just with one kamehaha wave it blow him up" sorry what? Is the writer a character inside the fan fiction? Is this a dialogue of what a character said? If it is, the writing is just messed up. "ss5 but broly had the upper hand cause he was a lss3" so is Broly a SS5 or lss3, this line is just messed up.
 * 1) For the writing I have already given my opinion, although it seems just a tiny bit improved.
 * 2) Broly survining: Broly again, his only good movie was the first one, we don't need to see him again
 * 1) No explanation was given, as to when the fighters reached LSS forms 1-3.
 * 1) Was the fight on Namek? Who made the wish to Shenron, or the other Dragon(what's his name, oh yeah Porunga)?
 * 2) No explanation was given for any of these: What exactly happened in the story? Where did the story take place? Why did Goku and Vegeta turn lss1 and lss2, if Goku was mentioned to be a LSS10 in the previous arc? When did the fight took place?
 * 3) I can hardly understand what the writer is saying, after the first part of the chapter.

Final Thoughts: Yet another nonsense, was made into an arc, at least it wasn't as bad as the previous one. All an all the writing doesn't really improve and it still seems rushed and a complete disappointment. Although to be fair, I don't think any reader would bother reading past chapter one.

Score: 2/20 "- If you want to kill some brain cells, well, look no further."

Chapter 4:
Will if I went this far, why not.

Pros:

 * 1) Well I guess the chapter is a bit more understandable, I mean I can almost understand what the author writes, for one part of the chapter at least.

Cons:
"ill finish the story later today"
 * 1) For the writing, I stand about what I said before, it's messed up and rushed.
 * 2) Gohan crying when Vegeta and Goku arrived, with no explanation given. Also if he was expecting them to get on the planet, why was he crying?
 * 3) Planet Gohan(was in some of the other chapters, forgot to mention it)


 * 1) The rest of the story: something about Supreme Kai, Nail, training, Piccolo, suddenly talking about Yamcha and Tien training the earthlings, when earth was almost not mentioned through out the other chapters.

Final Thoughts:  Well mostly what I said in my cons and the other chapters, so far. Just to give my overall thoughts, this fan fiction is beyond saving.

Score:1.5/20 "- Wasting people's time, is bad."

Chapter 5:
Oh boy.

Pros:

 * 1) Nothing at all.

Cons:
"buma were already fighting in 100 gravity gohan decide to train chi chi ,videl and bulma" WTF Bulma is not even a fighter, why are they training? Final Thoughts: It's just the worst chapter yet, but I'm sure there are worst chapters later.
 * 1) The entire chapter doesn't make sense.
 * 2) It's too short to be called a chapter.
 * 3) Random characters never seen before on any chapter, are mentioned.
 * 4) It's not explained in what year this story takes place, or how old are the characters, or when did Pan have a son.
 * 1) Overal awful writing and a rushed nonsensical plot.

Score:0/20 "The chapter truly earns the score."

Chapter 6:
At least the next chapter is small.

Pros:

 * 1) Can't find any, I tried.

Cons:
Final Thoughts: You know what they say, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything.
 * 1) Pretty much the whole chapter is a huge con(I'll get to why, in the next con), you just can't write such crap, even if you try.
 * 2) Well the random things that I can remember are: Gohan restoring some planet(random), the time chamber is mentioned for some reason(random), something about Bulma helping Vegeta and Goku become Super Saiyans(random), Rohan reaching SSJ2 and USSJ2, like Gohan did against Cell(which form does he mean, ssj2 which is correct or ussj2?) Who the fuck is Rohan?
 * 3) Blasts being fired at a random point of the story, without any mention of a fight, or any mention that I can spot.
 * 4) Pretty much all non canon, never befored mentioned, Super Saiyan forms. Seriously what the hell is Ultimate Super Saiyan 2?

Score:0/20 - "This is just a parody of human intelligence, I want my minutes back"

Chapter 7:
Fortunately the athor seems to be getting lazier, so the chapters are smaller from now on, especially this one, if something like this can actually be called a chapter.

Pros:
Cons:
 * 1) I dare you to find one.
 * 1) This is not a chapter, this is a stub page.
 * 2) I can not understand anything anymore, so I'll just comment on the text:After rohans hidden powers awakteing rohan began to wake up and see he was on a other planet then he saw gohan

Final Thoughts: You can't write this kind of garbage, if you try.
 * 1) see? Do you mean she? Does this mean Rohan(whoever that is) is a girl?
 * 2) Or what do you mean by see he was? see what?
 * 3) awakteing? I don't know what awakteing is, but I'm pretty sure this is poor spelling of awakening.
 * 4) roxan began to wake up? So was Rohan sleeping?
 * 5) He began to ask gohan what happened gohan decide not to tell him then he said it time for him and rohan to train and to become sms so it began.
 * 6) I must admit I wonder what is happening as well, mainly in the story.
 * 7) Say to him what?
 * 8) What time for him?
 * 9) and he become sms so it began? Well I guess this pleases.. the twitter and IPhone fans, talking about texting your way into a battle.
 * 10) back on the planet were goku and the others were train it began right after gochan grabed the wave something just hit him it began he began to become a ssj 2 but not as powerful as rohans then he began to become a lssj
 * 11) Random forms again.
 * 12) Awful writing.
 * 13) The whole text is a con.

Score: -1/20 "-An Unlimated garbage, an unlimated punishment."

Chapter 8:
Words are futile for this story.

Pros:

 * 1) The usual, theres not any.

Cons:
Final Thoughts: F**** Trunks rocks, on a side note the story couldn't suck more.
 * 1) Everything pretty much, but I'll mention some specific things.
 * 2) We got another Gohan pun named character in this chapter, Gochan, or rather he was mentioned in an earlier chapter.. I don't know, the story is really hard to follow.
 * 3) Future Trunks was mentioned, or appeared for some bogus reason.
 * 4) After some point Future Trunks was simply referred to as F Trunks(lazy writing, on an already crappy story, I'm amazed), or the brilliant creator of unlimated introduced us to Fucker Trunks(I can censor it if it bothers anyone)
 * 5) but he thought how useless he be if he cant become lssj so he transformed to a lssj vegta -The text speaks for itself.
 * 6) others enter gochan and buma were so excited that when they went on the floor they fell then broly went far away with future trunks then F trunks - This is nonsense.
 * 7) Broly appeared again, though I'm not even sure what role Broly plays in the stor... whatever that fan fic is called.
 * 8) F Trunks transforming through forms, SSJ5? So we get the popular AF form.

Score: 1/20 "-At least we have Fucker Trunks."

Pros:

 * 1) Mostly the things I mentioned in the weak saga, but I'm sure I'm going to find more.
 * 2) Chapter 12: To be released. thank you.
 * 3) The title warns you.

to be edited...