User blog comment:Nexus-Ank'hu/Stories/@comment-3122168-20110819232322

I think that one thing you really need to work on is character development and general character introduction. Many of your characters in your stories have boring or uninteresting backgrounds and are brought into the story for little to no reason. I think that if you worked on making your characters more unique it would make your stories much more interesting.

Another thing you should consider doing is using less vocabulary that is uncomfortable to you. I think that you use words in your stories that you don't know the meaning of and are using just because it makes you sound smarter. If you didn't do that quite so much, it would make your stories much easier to read.

I haven't read much of your fan-fiction so far, but that's how it seems at a quick glance. Hope this helps!