User blog comment:Fedora Lord Para 348/ParaGoomba348's Reviews/@comment-3122168-20110719063237

Hey there. Thank you very much for the review, it was a solid review. Allow me a moment to respond to your cons, if you don't mind:

■Chiaotzu was a bit brutal during the fight scene, but it wasn't that bad. Very good point. I'd agree that his inclusion was a bit off; if I were to rewrite it, I'd be sure to make him a bit more timid. ■The whole format is inconsistent. It was confusing at times. This was done with intention, heh. I was trying to experiment with this one a little bit, so I thought I'd throw in some poems and screenplays just for the sake of being artsy. I don't quite see how it would be confusing, as I thought the different styles flowed together fairly well, but I'd like for a little more light to be shed on this, maybe. ■Changing the font color was unnecessary. I don't see why you did that. This was to signify the change in format. I was hoping that changing the font would make the format transitions a bit less confusing, because, for example, at the beginning of chapter 2 it may have been a bit confusing to realize that Yamcha, rather the narrator, was talking, so I changed the color to make it clear that someone else was now narrating. I think that changing the colors helped to show that I was changing formats with intent. ■The whole past, future, past thing is a confusing paradox. I wouldn't call it a paradox XD. I know that the timeline is a bit messed up here, as it's nonlinear, but, going into the story, I was aiming to make a slightly confusing, non-linear story. I think that the non-linearity of it was kind of beneficial, in all honesty.

In short, I liked your review a lot. It helped to show me where I was a bit too confusing and all that. Once again, thanks for reviewing!