User blog:KidVegeta/KidVegeta's reviews

"YOU HATE EVRYTHING YOUR LIKE A TROLL"

- An average reaction to reading one of my reviews

These reviews are just my opinions. I do not claim to be better or worse than anyone else here. But that's not to say I won't be critical. That I won't be unforgiving. That I won't go out of my way to list 100 cons for your story in a heartbeat. I will, and gladly. Remember gents; I didn't give you an E-. You gave yourself an E- when you decided to sit down and post your atrocity for all of us to see. I'm simply here to call you out on it. So grab ahold of your mommies gents, this is gonna be one long ride.

RATINGS:

S (highest) - Exceptional/perfect

A - Great/good

B - Average

C - Below average

D - Poor

E (lowest) - Bad/horrible

Comedy Story Ratings:

O + (highest)

O

R +

R

R - (lowest)

Auxiliary Pages (Blogs/User Pages/etc)

Rated from: 0.1 - 10.0

What I Like/Dislike in Fan Fiction

 * I do not like fanon Super Saiyan levels. I'm not saying it can't be done well, but not a single person has ever created a good fanon transformation yet. Many have a hard enough to time writing with the forms that do exist. Which isn't really meant as a blame to anyone, as Goku's SS1 and Gohan's SS2 (and really ss1 too, for him) were poorly written by Toriyama. So it's hard to write something better than what the grand master has created; I get that. So don't attempt it, please, if you aren't good enough. While Super Saiyan 5 in theory could work, you would have to be writing at a near-perfect level, and I don't think many people have that ability.
 * Your story must be well-written. Poor grammar and spelling, no matter how good the rest of it is, is simply unacceptable. We live in a society. You are educated, and you are expected to be able to function and express yourself coherently.
 * Character development is a must. I don't care about Stus and random Saiyans coming to Earth out of nowhere. And that happens in nearly every fic. Don't. Do. It. It's bad writing, and it's unoriginal. And it's a great way to make your story unmemorable.
 * I find Dragon Ball GT, AF, Multiverse, and Episode of Bardock (and many more!) to be utter garbage. If you are 'inspired' by those, there is not going to be much hope for you in my reviews. Being how low-quality all of them are, it would take a masterful writer to create something better... and if you do like those types of things, I highly doubt you could surpass those you are inspired by.
 * I prefer stories about Saiyans, PTO soldiers, or people on my Top 20 list. However, a well-written story can be about anyone. I just prefer those who I like more. My favorite story is Tien: Origins (it's a really, really well-made fanon and you should definitely check it out), and I actually do not like Tien at all. So while I do have bias in terms of who I'd like to read about, if anything is written well enough, it will receive the appropriate grade.
 * I rate and review stories based on a higher level than simply fan-fiction. I expect stories to be of publishable quality. I expect stories to be perfect - and I hope that they are perfect. While this goal is ultimately unrealistic, there is no use in lowering standards, as that simply encourages people to continue being awful.
 * I will rarely re-review. If you want me to review something, make sure the story is finished. Exceptions generally go out to reboots or to stories that have exceptionally long sagas.

Ania.gif
Pros
 * 1) It’s 11 frames long. Honestly, I thought it’d be around 4-5 based on how little is going on.
 * 2) 3 KB. Nice, sleek, minimalistic.
 * 3) I like the little line in the background denoting the place where the wall meets the floor. The artist really didn’t need to do that, and it was a nice touch.

Cons
 * 1) Whatever it is, it’s ugly as hell. It’s like a big purple tub of lard.
 * 2) Why does it close its eyes whilst licking?
 * 3) Why does it have testicles for a forehead?
 * 4) Goddamnit. I spent five minutes just staring at this thing trying to figure out what the hell that yellow mass is behind it. Still don’t have a clue.
 * 5) This thing has no manners. Licking the camera like that is totally unacceptable. I mean, come on. It even left several red lines on the camera lens. That could damage the screen.
 * 6) After it licks, its paws turn red inexplicably.
 * 7) The mouth animation is lazy. When its tongue comes out, it doesn’t even open.

Closing Thoughts I want 1.1 seconds of my life back.

Final Rating: 0.3/10

I Can’t Remember What Happen Last Night?
Pros
 * 1) I find it funny how the author went into untold amounts of effort to add in the Japanese name for this story. As if that matters at all.
 * 2) Uub’s title “dancre of the night” was funny.

Cons
 * Oh, the name. Firstly, it shouldn’t be a question. Secondly, “Happen” should be “Happened”.
 * 1) The introduction of a failed template coupled with an incoherent description is bewildering. It’s the final episode of the Secret Android Saga (page does not exist)?
 * 2) Apart from it being episode 67 in an unpublished story, the introduction makes no mention of what the plot is actually about.
 * 3) Also, it’s an episode. Not a special. Don’t call it both, you rube.
 * 4) Uub strip teasing for his friends. What the fuck, man…
 * 5) Yeah, making fun of Tourette’s and Autism was really well done. You made no attempt whatsoever to make their afflictions funny. It was just “oh, they met this guy and that guy” and they had the illnesses. The was no attempt to make it funny.
 * 6) There is no plot to this.
 * 7) The randomness that happens when they wake up is too stupid to be funny.
 * 8) The backtracking was forced and lame.
 * 9) Overall, the writing ability showcased is basic and bland. Depth eludes this story.
 * 10) Half of this story is just irrelevant.
 * 11) I like how we get no explanation for who any of these characters are or why they are there.
 * 12) Vast portions of this short story are unreadable, in that they are so stupid, random and irrelevant. It’s only 6 paragraphs long, but it feels as long as AP.
 * 13) Dragon world uses Zeni, not dollars.

Closing Thoughts This story attempts humor in the most basic way. It tries to be funny by being random and nonsensical. Yet, the story is so unreadable that no humor can be garnered from it. Suffice to say, I hated it.

Final Rating: R-

User:Chocolateaddictjr
Pros
 * Uh, all that profile stuff is nice. Y’know, the age, likes, place you were born, etc.
 * 1) Wowzers. Two hundred and ninety achievement points. By golly, that’s a lot.
 * 2) Look at those pages you are following! Especially the third one!
 * 3) I like that there is no rambling on. It’s a short userpage that basically gets to the point.
 * 4) I like how your aka name is the same as your regular name.

Cons
 * 1) Thanks for telling us about being a new admin on a random wiki.
 * 2) “Don’t hate, love is the solution!”
 * 3) Reading your motto in a dramatic voice just doesn’t do it for me.
 * 4) Overall, the motto makes me feel embarrassed for you. It’s moderately lame.
 * 5) I don’t get why you would capitalize chocolate.
 * 6) While I think the general information is good, there could be a bit more about why you are on this wiki.
 * 7) On a serious note, everything could be organized better, and there could be a more in depth bio too.

Closing Thoughts: Not a good userpage. If it gets a few things fixed, such as the motto and getting some relevance to our wiki, it would be a goodun. Judging it solely as a userpage, it leaves quite a bit to be desired. And the cons completely outweigh the pros. It’s kind of minimalistic, but not necessarily in a good way. If some genuine effort was put into it, it would be better.

Final Rating: 0.5/10

User:NomadMusik
Pros
 * 1) I like how in your opening sentence, you direct all noob questions to me and the other two. Yeah, thanks.
 * 2) Thank you for making it your mission to expel spammers and whatnot.
 * 3) That video games sounds cool.
 * 4) I like your fourth sig best. It’s nice to see them all in one place!
 * 5) I find it hilarious yet random that there is a Q/A part. More specifically, I find it funny that a lot of the questions are just redirects to the admins.
 * 6) Logo-master indeed.
 * 7) Adobe let me abort the script on your page. +1.

Cons
 * 1) I think you meant “The Only Guy On A Fanon Wiki That Likes Rap Music That Has ‘‘‘Legible’’’ Typing”.
 * 2) Overall terrible aka names.
 * Um, ew. See, that is exactly how your mistress is going to get a yeast infection.
 * 1) The occupation.
 * 2) That banner is going to confuse the shit out of some helpless noobs someday.
 * Oh, dat’s deep.
 * 1) So much nonsense in the user infobox.
 * 2) All these colorful sigs and banners and pictures and crap, and not a single one is even remotely likeable.
 * 3) Whoa whoa whoa. Confliction of occupations. Big no no.
 * 4) I want to strike out everything you strike out.
 * 5) Project Raptorlot. It’s like Spindlerun’s little brother!
 * 6) I tried to watch the Nyan Cat, but when I clicked the link, it froze the page.
 * 7) Oh god, more of those purple things licking me as I scroll.
 * 8) After reading this, I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT A NOMADMUSIK IS.

Closing Thoughts That page was longer than I expected. The bunch of crap in the beginning, and then the Q/A part really was more than I was expecting. But, there was little that was actually relevant to the user! That is totally unacceptable! Seriously, there should be at least some bio section, even if it is sarcastic (see user:KidVegeta for an example). That would totally improve this page!

Final Rating: 0.3/10

Dragon Bomb
Pros


 * 1) The format is unique.

Cons
 * 1) There are quite a few spelling and grammar errors.
 * 2) The dialogue is consistently horrible.
 * 3) The Broly story wasn’t funny at all.
 * 4) The Goku story was just him and his sons eating for one paragraph. Where’s the humor?
 * 5) The Gohan story was very lame. Also, Videl learned he was the Great Saiyaman another way, so that was utterly pointless.
 * 6) The Vegeta story is not a story. Vegeta asks for bacon and Bulma says no. This one had potential to be funny, but nothing about it actually was.
 * 7) The Goku story was just a simplistic, terrible retelling of Goku from Future Trunks’ timeline killing Frieza. The fight is undescribed and boring; the dialogue is trash. Once again, there is no humor in this at all.
 * 8) The Great Ape Goku story is incredibly unfunny. Goku goes great ape and Yajirobe randomly takes off his tail. The lack of ability really shows, when you have to rely on trying to get a laugh by being random and stupid, over producing genuinely good humor.
 * 9) The second Goku vs. Frieza story is pointless. Goku fires a Kamehameha at Frieza. That’s it. No humor, no fighting, no quality.
 * 10) The King Kai story is, once again, pointless and lame. Everything sucks.
 * 11) In the Krillin story, aside from the god-awful dialogue, Krillin wouldn’t just shoot a Kamehameha at the little kid Gohan.
 * 12) Vegeta went to the fridge. There was nothing in it. He got mad and blew it up.
 * 13) Regular humans don’t know about Dende.
 * 14) Oh good one. Vegeta blew up the house again.
 * 15) Goten’s wish was garbage was unfunny and lame.
 * 16) The Frieza story with the statue is incoherent. I honestly have no idea what any of it means.

Closing Thoughts: This story is completely unfunny. Not for one moment does it even begin to have any humor in it. All of the stories are random, unreadable, stupid. In addition, they all are humorless and a waste of time to read.

Final Rating: R-

No spam.jpg
Pros
 * 1) Spam is no good.

Cons
 * 1) A picture won’t solve anything.
 * 2) It doesn’t help that the author is/was one of the biggest spammers on our site.
 * 3) It’s not Dragon Ball related, so it’s basically a waste o’ space.

Closing Thoughts: Reviewing something like this is utterly pointless.

Final Rating: 0.1/10

Dragon Ball T
Pros
 * 1) Nope.avocado

Cons "T is for terrible."

- Supersaiyian11


 * 1) No shit.
 * 2) The usual, horrible spelling and grammar we get from ss11.
 * 3) The level of incoherency in this story is surprisingly not out of the ordinary for a ss11 story. Without the template, I wouldn’t have guessed it to be a comedy.
 * 4) Stupidly huge super saiyan level. It’s such an overdone joke.
 * 5) I can’t tell if he is intentionally making it unreadable so as to give it humor (and copy KC), or if he is actually trying.
 * 6) Godzilla Shenron. Lame!
 * 7) Oh no. Don’t bring in Yugioh again. We all know how well that last crossover went.
 * 8) So paragraph four is a large crossover section. It’s not presented well at all; indeed, I can’t even tell what is going on.
 * 9) The tournament was a copy of mine again. As well, it was so pointless and stupid that there was no chance for humor.
 * 10) Have I mentioned that not a word of this story is funny?
 * Oh, you’re suddenly misspelling Goku. Har har har.
 * 1) The metal planet turns into a unicorn… (not kidding)
 * 2) Random random random random. It’s funny now!
 * 3) I like how you have no idea what Janemba is.

Closing Thoughts: This story is an example of what not to write. Cool. The only problem is that ss11 is in no position to make a story like this. The plot, writing, dialogue, progression… it’s all the same as any of his other stories. And he calls this terrible. I couldn’t agree more.

Final Rating: E- (because, come on, it’s not a comedy)

Dragon Ball: The Nephew of Goku
Pros Cons
 * 1) None.
 * 1) Whoa whoa whoa. Calm down. Give us a date/time/place where this is taking place. A little backstory wouldn’t hurt at all.
 * 2) Goku should have been able to damage the creature in SS1. The little kid, in base, shouldn’t have. Also, since the creature is so strong, he really should have had a better purpose and intro.
 * 3) There is too much mixing of present and past tense. Take one and stick with it (unless you switch formats).
 * 4) You say the kid had Goku’s clothes. First off, you haven’t described what Goku is wearing. Secondly, it makes no sense why this kid would be wearing the same clothes as Goku.
 * 5) The dialogue is borderline unreadable.
 * 6) When writing dialogue, create a new paragraph for each new speaker. It makes it much easier to read that way.
 * 7) Preach isn’t a Saiyan name. Use vegetables, not fruits.
 * 8) I don’t get why Preach is so happy to see the man who killed his father.
 * 9) If Goku knows of Super Saiyan 3, then Preach can’t be 11 years old. That all happened too long ago.
 * 10) Raditz wouldn’t go on early missions to earth. He would conquer it on the first time going there.
 * 11) Also, even if he did, Goku would have sensed him.
 * 12) He also wouldn’t mate with a common human. That’s OOC.
 * 13) You don’t explain why half-saiyans can’t get SS3. There is no reason why they can’t, in canon.
 * 14) The grammar is sub-par. Pro tip: You are = you’re. Not ‘your’.
 * 15) "It's our nephew Preach, his 11 and strangley he's like Gohan and Goten." - That is a horrid line of dialogue.
 * 16) Everyone is so nonchalant about Preach. The progression feels too forced to be real.
 * 17) There needs to be an explanation of where Preach came from. Was he on Earth all this time? How would he know about Super Saiyan?
 * 18) Preach is way overpowered. He should not be able to keep up with SS Gohan and SS Goten while only in base form. This con alone brings the story down below average.
 * 19) Of course, he beats them and he can go Super Saiyan. Lame.
 * 20) Bringing up the Renorians was forced and stupid.

Closing Thoughts: This story combines a terrible plot and characters with unreadable dialogue and general illogic. It was not a good read at all. Nothing about this story stands out, except for the cons, and I cannot recommend it to anyone.

Final Rating: E-

Breaklose From Hell (Story)
Pros
 * 1) Honestly, I’m glad that the author can recognize that Kid Buu existed, yet lost his power. Very few stories do this, but it’s a nice point.

Cons
 * 1) The talk about Buu going to hell doesn’t read as part of the story. It could go in the introduction or description.
 * 2) The grammar is just awful.
 * 3) Dunno if you’ve read IR… but this story is remarkably similar (if a good deal shoddier) to that.
 * 4) I understand why Buu’s powers went to Uub, but not why his techniques went to Janemba. Also, Janemba is a non-canon character, so there should be a better explanation for how you are including him (like how he comes to be and whatnot).
 * 5) Janemba forms with Broly and escapes… and that’s it. This two paragraph story could hardly be called one. It’s barely even an introduction. There is no plot at all.

Closing Thoughts: This story is unfinished. At two paragraphs long, it barely has any time to get into its purpose. The part with Buu was drawn out, and it appears to only be important in that it gave Janemba Buu’s techniques (in a random, forced way). And there’s nothing else. I can’t even call this a story. As it is, it was thoroughly unenjoyable.

Final Rating: E-

Dragon Bomb 2
Pros
 * 1) I’m glad these aren’t trying to be humorous. The last one showed that the author couldn’t make a funny, so at least we don’t have to worry about that.

Cons
 * 1) The first two stories are too short to have any meaning.
 * 2) The third story is very weird. There’s really no place in the timeline this could take place, so I would like more info on that.
 * 3) Kid Buu is horribly out of character.
 * 4) The Broly/Kid Buu fight was dumb. Broly has nowhere near the power of Buu, and at the end, you even said Buu regenerated immediately. So then, why did Broly think he won?
 * 5) “Tien”, not “Tein”.
 * 6) Kid Buu shouldn’t be able to rampage around hell with his powers given to Uub.
 * 7) Great, a Naruto-Dragon Ball crossover. The majority of the story was just about Goku and Naruto getting their clothes mixed up. Now, I know how interesting that sounds, but it’s not good at all. There is no fight, everyone is OOC. It’s just one big pointless chunk of this page.
 * 8) Frieza wouldn’t be allowed on Grand Kai’s planet. He also wouldn’t be so polite to offer a rematch to those he beats.
 * 9) Goku jr. does not have anywhere near the power to beat up Super 17. Also, it wouldn’t take 17 five hours to kill him. It might take him 1 ½ episodes (depending on the amount of powering up and filler).

Closing Thoughts: Like the first one, this is an interesting concept executed poorly. The stories are too short to have any impact or meaning. As well, the grammar and dialogue is just so subpar that each section is unbearable to read. Most of all, I would say these stories lack relevance. It doesn’t make for good reading.

Final Rating: E-

DBXD
Pros
 * 1) A lot of stories do not have Tarble, and this is not one of those. He is such an under-represented, fascinating character that I am glad he was included in this story.
 * 2) Mostly good spelling and grammar. Better than I expected, at least.
 * 3) The attack had caught them off guard and did devastating damage.

Cons
 * 1) For the Kuriza Saga, you should actually make a saga for it instead of briefly talking about it in the description. Y’know, since the story thereafter references it many times.
 * 2) Rushed descriptions. The entire fight with Pan and Cooler’s son was around two sentences. Highly uninteresting and non-engaging that way.
 * 3) Maybe I missed something, but how can Pan just teleport to New Namek?
 * 4) Stop it with the random narrative questions in the middle of the paragraphs.
 * 5) This is after GT. You never explain what happens to Goku. Yet Goku is with King Kai.
 * 6) The rushing of the story leads to much confusion. Why were Pan and Trunks at Namek? Why did Goku return? Why did Cooler’s son know where Earth was?
 * 7) How did Sora come back to the past? Her relationship to Pan is very forced and nonsensical.
 * 8) Do not mangle tenses. Either pick present or past and write the entire story in it. If you have sections that need to be written in a different tense, that is fine. However, within the same paragraph, you have to have consistency.
 * 9) Goku alone should have the power to beat Cooler’s son. Using everybody together is just forced.
 * 10) I don’t see why you can’t explain the fights or the plot at all. A little buildup is what I’m asking for.
 * 11) Sagas don’t count as sagas if they are merely a paragraph long. They need to be longer, otherwise they are just specials/movies.
 * 12) Okay, on the next saga, you need to explain why they need to kill that prince, why there is a dragon ball there (is this the black star set?), and most importantly
 * 13) I don’t see how Krillin Jr. could just happen to be flying around where Goku and his friends attacked the planet, and just so happened to notice they were fighting on it. I also don’t see how he could have any amount of power to be relevant to the battle at all.
 * 14) Explain the power levels of these villains.
 * 15) If Krillin Jr. is so strong, than he should have joined the Z fighters long ago. You know, on earth.
 * 16) You fail to explain the connection of Majin Buu’s corruption and the need to go save all the Kais.
 * 17) Now, see, why are they saving towns? There aren’t towns of Supreme Kais.
 * 18) Don’t use stage directions in the middle of the paragraphs. It disrupts the flow of reading the story.
 * 19) It wouldn’t be that hard to actually have a few more paragraphs per chapter. Every saga/chapter/whatever is a paragraph long only.
 * 20) “Krillin Jr decides to stall Majin Buu so the others can send him and to the remote planet with the others.” – I have no idea what that means.
 * 21) How the hell does Kid Kai have the ability to freeze time, when nobody else can do that? I’d think that if he can do it, the Kais would have done that to the original Majin Buu so many billions of years ago.
 * 22) I like how there was no buildup to the spirit bomb. I also like how Goten used it.
 * 23) Explain what the axel blade is! What is its significance? Fair enough if you don’t want to spoil things, but you need to at least give it backstory.
 * 24) This story is so random.
 * 25) Could do with less exclamation marks.
 * 26) How did the King call them? Did they share cell phone numbers or something?
 * 27) I don’t see why all the Z fighters travel everywhere when nobody fights except Krillin Jr, who is so powerful he can kill the King in one hit.
 * 28) Suffice to say, none of the villains have proved to be even remotely threatening.
 * 29) The story with all the fanon characters, Julia included, makes little sense when you do not explain who they are in the text. You cannot expect us to go to their pages in order to learn who they are. That basic information has to be present in the story.
 * 30) So Julia joined the Z fighters. Could have mentioned that.
 * 31) Maybe I missed it, but I do not see a reason for why the Z fighters are gathering the Dragon Balls. I do also not know why some are on Earth and others are on distant planets.
 * 32) It’s confusing to tell who is where. The actual members of the Z fighters in this story is not explicitly stated, nor do we get updates.
 * 33) No dialogue in this story. A major part of most stories is the discussion of characters to, you know, create character development. That is completely absent from this story.
 * 34) I don’t see how King Cold’s lost brother would just be in a cave on Earth. They’d have sensed him.
 * 35) He is also way too powerful. King Cold was not as strong as Cell, and clearly all of these characters are leagues ahead of Cell, so he could not defeat any of them.
 * 36) No explanation for Julia’s Super Saiyan transformation. It cheapens the specialness of SS by doing it like that.
 * 37) Goten should not have SS3.
 * 38) Where is Goku during all this? Wasn’t he there?
 * 39) Janemba’s fight was boring to read. It was literally over in three sentences. How can I see him as a threat when he is dealt with so quickly?
 * 40) Tarble never had Super Saiyan in the canon story. We could use an explanation for how he went from being so weak to being so strong, especially since his SS1 was superior to Pan’s SS2. In addition, he should get an intro, explaining why he suddenly showed up.
 * 41) I don’t like Tarble being equal to Vegeta. Surely Vegeta, who was born with a higher power level, who showcased a higher power level, who had the power to save his brother from Abo and Kado would be stronger.
 * 42) If Tarble just came to Earth to become a Z fighter, why is he suddenly leaving on a journey?
 * 43) Kane should not be on the Kai’s world. They live In otherworld, you know. The land of the dead. Kais are practically the only living beings.
 * 44) Kane’s story lacks any relevance to the plot.
 * 45) I don’t see why everyone randomly went on vacation while in the midst of looking for the Dragon Balls.
 * 46) Hoshi returns from the dead with no explanation as to why or how.
 * 47) If you blow up a house, the people inside could not possibly be okay.
 * 48) Great, Hoshi is a Saiyan.
 * 49) Fortune Teller Baba’s warning was never mentioned before you referred to it as a past event.
 * 50) With the Shinpaku battle, where the hell is everyone. Gohan/Vegeta/Goku are all stronger than Goten. He should not be relied on. If anyone should be making a spirit bomb, it’s Goku.
 * 51) The spirit bomb attack is overused.
 * 52) After giving Goten all their energy, the other Z fighters would not have power left to shoot their most powerful attacks.
 * 53) The chapter after Shinpaku’s defeat is completely incoherent.
 * 54) You cannot go in the time chamber for more than 2 days. Besides, 1 day = 1 year of training. So they wouldn’t need to be in there for six months (nor could they be).
 * 55) M’kay, Tarble is back without an explanation.
 * 56) Pan should not be SS3.
 * 57) Julia should not be a SS2.
 * 58) Kid Kai cannot physically become a SS3, nor should he be one regardless.
 * 59) Tarble should not be a SS2.
 * 60) All these characters are extremely overpowered.
 * 61) You cannot wish someone back to life more than one year after their death. Broly and Janemba have been dead for decades.
 * 62) Why the hell would it take those three 2 whole years to get to Earth? Major, major plot forcing here.
 * 63) You should probably explain why the time chamber was even in use, as Piccolo had already destroyed the entrance to it in Z. Not to mention, their training could not destroy it.
 * 64) How is Cell back?
 * 65) More importantly, how is Krillin Jr so strong? This is unbelievable overpowering. His father was not even power enough to take on 3rd form Frieza. How could his son, who has barely any training, just turn around and beat someone at least 100x stronger than that?
 * 66) Okay, if Pan could teleport to new Namek, she should have taken Krillin Jr there. No need to get a space ship for it all.
 * 67) I don’t like how more effort and writing is put into this one chapter about Krillin Jr trying to get a space ship than any fight before or after this part.
 * 68) I don’t think Krillin Jr merely wishing one wish is worthy of an entire chapter.
 * 69) Final chapter needs paragraph separation. It’s hell reading it as is.
 * 70) I like how Shinpaku has all the dragon balls apparently, even after the Z fighters spent half of the chapters up to this point finding several of them.
 * 71) Broly is a SS3. What a surprise. At least give a cursory explanation if you can’t be bothered to tell us exactly how it happened.
 * 72) The fights in the last chapter are so muddied that it’s hard to tell what is going on. For three fights, at least have three separate paragraphs.
 * 73) Repeating devastating damage.
 * 74) The wound was fatal enough to half kill Broly. – Fatal means fatal. They die. There is no half death. Fatal means death.
 * 75) Spirit kamehameha – the idea that Pan could even use the spirit bomb, let alone create it in an instant is nonsensical. There is no reason to finish off a third villain in a single story with the same attack.
 * 76) What a terrible ending. What was the point in using the Dragon Balls to wish for peace, when they had just created it themselves? And how did the three enemies even get the Dragon Balls?
 * 77) The three fights were bad. Not only were they hard to follow, but there was no suspense. It was a methodical mess that had every fight end with the bad guy dying, do no harm to anything. It really made no sense.
 * 78) The chapters read as summaries and not actual chapters. There is no dialogue. There is no flow between sentences. It all just reads as a basic description. This leads to fights being very quick and boring as a result.

Closing Comments: I did not like this fanon. It had numerous problems, but the worst was the rushing. Every chapter was rushed in a way that made it hard to read and understand. The characters were not able to be developed because no time was given to put in dialogue or actual character moments. Goku/Vegeta/Gohan and the other power characters just disappeared half-way through the story and never came back, for no reason. There were canon problems, such as with Tarble being a Super Saiyan or using the time chamber for six months. The fights themselves were problematic not only in that they were barely elaborated upon, but they always had the predictable outcome. Only one person died, or was even hurt and that was Krillin to the randomly reincarnated Cell (who was then immediately killed by his son). Without any characters ever being in harms way, without any type of actual climax to the story, the reading just falls flat. It was not interesting; indeed, it was painful to get through in its totality.

Final Rating: E-

Supersaiyian11
Pros
 * 1) He joined the wiki the day after my birthday.
 * 2) So many edits!
 * 3) Impressive badge collection! Ranked 35th! Wooo hooo!
 * 4) Vegeta is awesome.
 * 5) Like wow, you like DBZ abridged too?! WE ARE SO ALIKE.

Cons
 * 1) Misspelled your username. Of all the things to misspell, this is the best. I mean, who wouldn't want to have their error etched in coding for all the wiki to see forever?
 * 2) Horrible photoshop/other type of image editer used for your avatar picture. Goku is blue. With neon green pants. With sickly gray fur. Oh you good at dis.
 * 3) That personal gift from SV22. First off, it wasn't SV22's pic. Second off, it's no one's pic regardless. It's just a screen from the actual show. I fail to see how this could be interpretted as a gift. It's like me showing someone the google logo and saying I gave it to them.
 * 4) Doesn't know how to space after a sentence ends. I don't know why you would even do that, honestly. Any teacher of yours must've told you it was wrong.
 * 5) Ruining a perfectly funny DBA scene with poor grammar, poor spacing, misspellings. Generally, I don't see the point in posting it to begin with.
 * 6) Holy fuck you have a lot of pictures of Vegeta.
 * 7) Who in their right mind would want to be a goblin? There are literaly hundreds of nobler species. Goblins are like the lowest species everywhere.
 * 8) I don't even know, nor want to guess what that piece of shit red thing is for your profile picture.
 * 9) Occupation - writer. The most funny thing I have ever seen.
 * 10) OMG UR HARDCORE U HAVE NO ALLEGIANCE TO ANYONE
 * 11) The userpage lacks any sort of coherency. It's like just a random assortment of ss11's thoughts in his head, just written out on a wiki.
 * 12) Fire hammer is so lame. First off, you stole the idea from HZ and his fetish for banhammers. Next, you colored over it in the most idiotic and childish way to make it not even look remotely badass. It's like taking a genuine picture, let's say the Mona Lisa, and scribbling over it with a bunch of crayons. And then you expect us to compliment your artistic genius. No chance.
 * 13) Misspelled Vegito several times.
 * 14) Assuming anyone would want to use your fire hammer.
 * 15) The fire hammer is just what your stories need. A new, unique twist in the lameness department. I swear, your next story is going to be like Vegeta (not Goku cause he sux) vs Tim the toolman Taylor. Of course Tim would wield the fire hammer and kill everyone except Vegeta. Then Vegeta would unlock Super Saiyan infinity like he does on your talk bubble and with the help of the Dragon Balls, would blow Tim right into the sun. I love it.

Final Thoughts: I considered reviewing this page satirically, but I just couldn't.

Final Grade: 0.1/10

Dragon caos
Pros
 * 1) I understand why you would want to combine DBZ and Sonic, even if it was done poorly.

Cons
 * 1) Chaos is spelled incorrectly in the title.
 * 2) Very poor spelling and grammar. Perhaps this is the very worst on this site. Even in KC, when I made intentional errors, it did not get this bad.
 * 3) The writer says they know the spelling and grammar is bad, and they will fix it later. It's been months and that has not been fixed. They shouldn't even have been posted before the author corrected his errors.
 * 4) All the formatting is really confusing.
 * 5) No periods means I can't tell what the hell you are talking about ever.
 * 6) Let's face it, combining Mario and DBZ just cannot work out.
 * 7) Actually naming a character Twink...
 * 8) Using the garbage villain from AF, Xicor is an incredibly poor and unoriginal choice.
 * 9) Just looking over the character list, I can see this is written by a four year old. Most Z fighters are missing. I understand not having all the Mario and Sonic characters, but when you are in the DBZ universe, there is no reason why the able bodied fighters would not be present. The fusions, of course have really high Super Saiyan levels, which almost never works out. But I'll get more into that later.
 * 10) The plot of the first saga is atrocious. If Xicor destroyed the earth, why did Goku and Vegeta survive, and how did they suddenly get a time machine?
 * 11) After getting the time machine, Goku and Vegeta do not go back in time. Nope, they instead go to the mushroom kingdom. As if Mario has anything that could help Goku. As if Goku would even know of the Mushroom kingdom or how to get there.
 * 12) Mario is Goku's greatest hero? That's as stupid as it is OOC.
 * 13) Magically, Xicor can follow them through time, and blows up Mario's world. So instead of killing Xicor, or using the Dragon Balls, what do our heroes do? The most illogical thing ever; go to Sonic's world. Now that is just the synopsis above the actual story, but judging by the writing quality thus far witnessed, I do not expect any of this to be explained in a well enough manner.
 * 14) Each time someone speaks, it is imperative that you create a new paragraph for their speech. Keeping all dialogue in a single paragraph creates confusion.
 * 15) Goku is very OOC. If Vegeta was giving his son concussions (which even for Vegeta sounds OOC and like it's going too far), he would actually do something about it.
 * 16) Is there a reason why you don't ever use a period? Do you not know what one is? Surely if you have even taken first grade you would have been taught this basic grammatical principle THAT EVERY SENTENCE ENDS WITH PUNCTUATION.
 * 17) Chi Chi is OOC.
 * 18) Goku says he let him go to Bulla's house. Yet Goku did not say he let Goten there. He just said "he". Which doesn't make sense because they weren't even talking about Goten. You can't just introduce somebody with a pronoun.
 * 19) Goku is far too lazy in this story.
 * 20) Chi Chi would have either forced Goku to get Goten or come to the party with her. She wouldn't have let him sleep.
 * 21) The narrator should never introduce plot. Recap plot, yes. Introduce, no. Save that for the story.
 * 22) How can Goku have a random third son?
 * 23) Goku would have sensed Xicor coming.
 * 24) Xicor's conversation with Goku is completely unreadable.
 * 25) I'm sure Xicor wasn't made with blood. That is the stupidest explanation for making Goku's son.
 * 26) East Kai is neither alive, nor would do that. This story is now NCF.
 * 27) I don't see how Xicor is so powerful, or how he knows about the Dragon Balls.
 * 28) Stop randomly capitalizing words.
 * 29) Start capitalizing people's names.
 * 30) The fight was lame. I understand Xicor was supposed to win, but the way in which he did was just plain boring to read. You have no sense of how to create or manage a fight, and it just comes out as a bunch of randomness. If Xicor just punches a big bloody hole into Goku, Goku cannot stand up and then go Super Saiyan.
 * 31) The other Z fighters would have felt Xicor killing Goku.
 * 32) Stop talking about two unlikely allies. The narrator cannot be introducing such things.
 * 33) There is nothing unique to critique about chapter three, but that is not to say that it isn't horrible. The lack of paragraph separation and use of punctuation, not to mention the use of a spell checker makes me unable to understand it.
 * 34) Xicor shouldn't know the names of everyone.
 * 35) "my cousin wrote trhe first half of the epesoide and i forgot to check it over if it was good so if there was someting stuyped is in there dont blame me" You forgot to check over it? If you have time to write that, you have time to check over it before posting it. So don't give me that bullshit notice like you are some kind of quality control master. Judging by your other chapters, which you did check, you don't have a high sense of quality. In fact, I've never seen someone with such low standards.
 * 36) Vegeta is so OOC. I realize you can't actually make personality shine with your writing abilities, but the way you portray Vegeta is as a Broly wannabe. All he does is say he must get stronger than Goku. Granted, he did want that, but this is after Buu. Vegeta is far more docile now, and he no longer hates Goku or really wants to surpass him.
 * 37) Using McDonalds in this story is lame.
 * 38) Vegeta would not eat at McDonalds.
 * 39) The Goten and Bulla scene is painful to read. It is just so unbelievably poorly written. It's like one of those porn plots. And what do we do when porn has a plot? We skip to the action. And there is no action in this story.
 * 40) Bulla doesn't know the cure to flu. GENIUS.
 * 41) Stop injecting commentary from your writing self into the actual story.
 * 42) "notice : okay my cousin i guess is in to the lovey dovey stuff so im not going to erase this cause it might hurt her fellings im just going to pick up when xicor came okay " Nobody gives a fuck about your notice.
 * 43) Improper tense usage in chapter 4 paragraph 2.
 * 44) So stupid. Goten would not tell Bulla to get Vegeta and run. He'd just tell her to run. Vegeta is much stronger than Goten, so he would be needed to help.
 * 45) I don't get why you are sometimes using quotes now, but only sometimes when people talk. Why bother at this point?
 * 46) Goku having a senzu is such an asspull.
 * 47) Xicor kicked Goten's leg so hard that it fell off. I seriously could not make this shit up if I tried.
 * 48) Goten's leg falls off, therefore he must choke up a waterfall of blood. Understood.
 * 49) McDonalds being a humor device does not work.
 * 50) Xicor sure likes to explain a lot of things.
 * 51) Xicor has no personality. He has infinite power. He is evil, with no weaknesses. I mean, you aren't even trying with making him interesting.
 * 52) Xicor explained what he did to the audience of Goku and Vegeta. Then Goku comes out of nowhere and blasts him away. How can he do that when Goku was already there?
 * 53) Goku and Vegeta would not have retreated so cowardly like that.
 * 54) Vegeta says damn too much.
 * 55) How Goku got the ship to work was stupid.
 * 56) The space ship has missiles now? I don't think Xicor would follow one when he can sense energy supposedly.
 * 57) King Kai bringing in the Mario bros as a potential saver is terrible.
 * 58) The author is not even vaguely aware of how coordinates are written out.
 * 59) As if Goku knew where the autopilot button was.
 * 60) Peach didn't even ask Mario how he was and he responded like she did.
 * 61) Goku didn't kill Frieza.
 * 62) There is no point in giving us a history lesson about DBZ. Just say Goku told Mario their history. I don't want to read it.
 * 63) Regardless though, I don't see how Goku would have the time to tell Mario all the history. Or why he would even want to.
 * 64) Vegeta doesn't know what a plumber is. Don't assume he does.
 * 65) Mario and Luigi's power levels are 100,000, which is way too high. I wouldn't even give them levels above 20.
 * 66) I don't like how fusion is being used as such a crutch.
 * 67) I wasn't aware Mario and Luigi could sense power levels.
 * 68) So now you start using paragraph separation for dialogue, yet only use quotes at the start of the lines, not at the end? Why?
 * 69) Xicor's attack would have killed Mario.
 * 70) Luigi should not be able to damage Xicor at all.
 * 71) Goku's kamehameha would have killed Luigi.
 * 72) It's "what", not "wat".
 * 73) Once again, Mario and Luigi's attacks are not powerful enough to do anything to Xicor.
 * 74) Okay, listen. Once a person is damaged, that's it. Xicor doesn't have senzus. If he goes Super Saiyan, he still has that damage. He doesn't just go Super Saiyan and get magically healed.
 * 75) Why wouldn't Goku and Vegeta fuse against Xicor? I know it's a terrible plot device, but explain why you can or can't use it. Otherwise, just use it like you did with Mario and Luigi.
 * 76) Chapter nine is one big fight, and frankly I cannot understand most of it.
 * 77) Lurio's beam cannot be as strong as Xicor SS2. Realistically, Lurio is about 1/10 as strong as Base Gotenks. That is judging by your 100k power level for Mario and Luigi. So if Lurio was Gotenks instead, would he be doing this well. No chance.
 * 78) I keep wanting to call Lurio Lucario.

Final Thoughts: I cannot continuously say that this story has bad grammar and spelling in con after con, but it is true. Nowhere in this story does that let up. The spelling is absolutely atrocious, the likes of which are not seen anywhere else on this fine wiki. The characters are stupid, lackluster, and boring. The villain is predictably pedantic. The inclusion of Mario is forced, illogical, and downright silly. All that said, I found this fic to be entertaining in how bad it was. If I was not reviewing it, I would have found it to be the same quality of humor as any good TV show today. That is not necessarily a good thing - as I was laughing at its garbage quality. It was not intended as a humor fic. But regardless, this story is among the worst on our site, and if I were not so convinced it was a trollfic, I could called it the worst written.

Final Rating: E-

Dragon Ball Z: SH
Pros
 * 1) Clearly the author has the potential to format the story properly, and obviously cares a lot about their story.
 * 2) I appreciate the use of Japanese honorifics.

Cons
 * 1) I would recommend not capitalizing words after a bit of dialogue, like this: ""Oh god..Gyoza-chan! Is that..Freeza? But Dad killed him on Namek!" A shocked Gohan trembled." 'A' should not be capitalized.
 * 2) Personal preference, but I don't like the name Gyoza for a girl at all. I get why you did it, but with what food gyoza is, it's pretty unflattering.
 * 3) Gyoza is seemlessly introduced into the story without any sort of explanation of who she is or how strong she is. This is supposedly after Frieza, so her inclusion is just so random.
 * 4) The dialogue is quite shoddy. Reading it aloud, it falls apart quickly, and it's so awkward. Generally, try to test dialogue by saying it, because if it doesn't sound right when saying it, it isn't right.
 * 5) If the power level was so hopelessly overpowering, I don't see why everyone flew right to it.
 * 6) Chaozu, not Chaouz.
 * 7) Bulma's inclusion is irrelevant, pointless, and annoying.
 * 8) There is a complete lack of actual writing here. A few bits of dialogue do not constitute a story, and this is not even written in drama format. The least you could do is actually write a little bit.
 * 9) Gyoza as an OC is unenjoyable because nothing is written about her. There is not gradual induction of personality or mannerisms. We are simply given her as she is - which is a (forced Goku related) personality-less shell.
 * 10) It just comes off as lazy that you can't describe anything in this story.

Overall Thoughts: So, SH was quite a short story. It consisted of a 200 word or so prologue, and that is it. In it, we are introduced to Gohan, his sister Gyoza, the menace of king Cold, and the all important Bulma. However, this story has numerous flaws within it. The main problem is that it feels rushed. There is no actual writing. We get a few lines of dialogue and a bit of stage direction and that's it. No effort to create a setting or establish a character is present. In fact, I fail to see the point of writing a story like this if you aren't going to actually write about anything at all. If you write more, and put a little bit of time and effort into making the story flow, not to mention have actual descriptions and plot expansions, I am sure I would have rated it higher. But as it is, I simply cannot give it a good grade. It is poor.

Final Grade: E-

The Invincible Frieza
Pros
 * 1) I enjoy you giving Appule prominence.
 * 2) I enjoy the choice in time. Frieza Saga was by far the best DBZ saga, so this story interests me.
 * 3) Having Cargo live instead of Dende was a nice twist.
 * 4) Most characters are in character, which is nice for reading.
 * 5) Dialogue is at about a 7/10, which is not bad.
 * 6) I liked Guru's "Naaaaiiiiiiil!!!".
 * 7) I liked the change of having Vegeta fight Burter.
 * 8) It was certainly radical to kill Goku like that.
 * 9) More so, I was surprised at Vegeta becoming the Super Saiyan, but not in a bad way. As far as the history between Frieza and Vegeta went, this is certainly how it should have been, and I like this aspect of your story more than I like the actual way it happened in the manga/anime.

Cons
 * 1) It is hard to differentiate between description and dialogue. You should do something to make them different, such as how I did so in TF.
 * 2) In the first chapter, I think there could easily be a better description of Frieza getting the dragon ball. It says he just got it, which is not very nice to read.
 * 3) Minor con, but I do think Krillin and Gohan would have lowered their power levels before traveling.
 * 4) " " You forgot some words in there.
 * 5) I think overall, your chapters could be a little longer. For example, chapters 2 and 3 should have been combined.
 * 6) Fight scenes should be written with a bit more descriptions.
 * 7) Occassionally the author forgets words, such as in dialogue or in descriptions. I have mentioned a big one above.
 * 8) Guru wouldn't just give Krillin the dragon ball like that.
 * 9) Zarbon's treachery was pretty forced.
 * 10) Too many team four star jokes.
 * 11) All of these scenes could use buildup. I realize it's drama format, but still a little description couldn't hurt.
 * 12) I don't see why Zarbon would attack Frieza like he did. I mean, he would have known that Frieza had a much higher level, and that he had no chance.
 * 13) No buildup into using the Dragon Balls.
 * 14) Everyone would have noticed the Dragon was being summoned.
 * 15) The Ginyu force got there way too quickly.
 * 16) Nail wouldn't know what a human is.
 * 17) Logically, Tien and Piccolo would have been together.
 * 18) The Ginyu force battles all happene way too quickly.
 * 19) Same deal with the fight against Frieza.
 * 20) I don't see why Nail would randomly fuse with Piccolo.
 * 21) I don't see why you used the Earth Dragon Balls to wish everyone back at once, but used the Namekian ones to wish back individual people, which ended up wasting a wish.

Final Thoughts: I did not hate this story as much as I expected. Certainly, it had its faults - the lack of buildup, the lack of decriptions, the poorly described fights, the overall rushed feeling, not to mention the lack of changes from the actual story. But the characters were mostly in character. Things progressed in a mostly logical fashion, and having Vegeta go Super Saiyan instead of Goku is a very good thing. I think with a few revisions, or a bit more practice, you can definitely write a story that could be one of our better ones on the site. This one, however, is slightly below average in my view, because of how rushed it felt.

Final Rating: C+

Dragonball YTK
Pros

None.

Cons


 * 1) The forced nature of having Tien learn so many techniques while having everyone else learn nothing was wholly troublesome.
 * 2) Incorrect sentence management. Sometimes a new sentence will start as a continuation of a previous sentence in a way that should not have had punctuation as a separator. Other times, it will be the opposite, with runon sentences.
 * 3) Poor grammar and spelling.
 * 4) I do not like the bit about Tien being so much stronger and having so much more potential than is already shown. It just seems out of character for him to suddenly get so strong.
 * 5) The story gives no idea of what time period it takes place in.
 * 6) This story randomly capitalizes words that should not be.
 * 7) Vegeta would not ask Tien to fight him.
 * 8) Tien would not accept Vegeta's offer.
 * 9) You are =/= your. (Hint: The answer is you're).
 * 10) When people talk, split conversation into different paragraphs. Each time a person speaks, they get a new paragraph.
 * 11) Logically, Vegeta would be training at Capsule Corp., not Kami's lookout. CC has his gravity chamber, which is overall more effective at training. Not to mention the lack of other people around. Vegeta is rather anti-social, so he would not have gone to Kami's lookout.
 * 12) Tien realizes he must become stronger. I am sure he knew that Vegeta was, at the very least, 10x as strong as him (in base). So this shouldn't be some new revelation.
 * 13) Tien can't just go to the Kai planet.
 * 14) Goku was training in other world, and suddenly he's there on the lookout? Explain this.
 * 15) I don't see any threat that could warrant the use of Potara earrings at this stage. Especially with how calm Elder Kai was.
 * 16) After commas, put a space. Thanks.
 * 17) Improper tense of lay used in section 5.
 * 18) Yamcha's death was far too similar to his previous encounter with Androids 19 and 20.
 * 19) Everyone would have sensed Yamcha's death.
 * 20) Wish there could have been better buildup to Goku's ultimate form.
 * 21) Goku wouldn't  call Namekians "things".
 * 22) I don't see how Vegeta could know the enemy was Kuriza.
 * 23) Kuriza has no personality.
 * 24) Vegeta couldn't find Goku? Why not? He would easily be able to sense Goku's power level at this point.
 * 25) Don't be lazy and use things like "ASAP".
 * 26) Goku barely survived the Death Ball, yet he was still even with Kuriza? If he was that strong, the death ball would not have damaged him.
 * 27) Tien would have reserved the earrings for Vegeta.
 * 28) Trillin was a very serious and quiet warrior. Yeah, way to be cliched there.
 * 29) At this point in the story, you aren't even putting quotes around dialogue. I cannot tell what is dialogue and what is exposition.
 * 30) Fight scenes need to be broken up into several paragraphs. This long winded block of text is confusing to read.
 * 31) I don't get why Vegeta and Goku had different Super Saiyan levels after getting the same training.
 * 32) Dialogue is all pretty cliched and uninterseting "Rah come out so I can kill you" "Rah I'm the strongest fighter ever!" "Rah you're dead!", etc.
 * 33) Constantly switches between tenses of present and past.
 * 34) Barely alive in this story means barely hurt.
 * 35) Kuriza would have been damaged enough that a new transformation would not have made him stronger than Vegeta.
 * 36) Most fights are written in a simpleton, straight forward way that leaves much to be desired. In terms of getting enjoyment, these passages offer none. And that is fully on the effect of how they are written. One paragraph of disjointed, unconnected sentences does not work.
 * 37) Goku wouldn't heal with time (especially not 10 or so minutes). He would need a senzu.
 * 38) Trillin's death was unemotional as it was irrelevant and forced.
 * 39) Kuriza being stronger than Omega Shenron is quite a bit of a stretch. Frieza himself was not this powerful, nor anywhere close to it. His son having this power needed to be explained prior.
 * 40) Dragon Balls once again were used as the infinite crutch to make everything go back together. Honestly, it makes none of this have any meaning at all.
 * 41) Tien and Krillin defusing is NCF.
 * 42) Gohan joining Tien is OOC.
 * 43) Tien and Gohan can't just go to otherworld if they aren't dead.
 * 44) Gohan should be faster than Tien, even in base.
 * 45) This is after Majin Buu, so Gohan cannot be 11 years old.
 * 46) Tien should not learn the Spirit bomb.
 * 47) There is no secret to getting out of hell.
 * 48) I am hesitant to believe that Gohan could beat Cell and Frieza together. Cell was at least Gohan's maximum strength, if not stronger, when he was killed, and Frieza is no push over either. Combined, they could have killed Gohan.
 * 49) Cell is rather OOC. He owuldn't shout out that he is a god like that.
 * 50) Gohan's SS3 ascension was forced and unrealistic.
 * 51) Bardock is OOC.

Final Thoughts: Another story which the average reader may deem average. Another story which I find scraping at the bottom of the barrel in terms of quality. This story is DBZ, with shoddy writing, a less expansive and innovative plot, worse dialogue, stagnant, repetitive fighting, and a clear confusion over the Dragon Ball timeline. I can easily see how this could appeal to a casual reader, or some younger DBZ fan. I get that it has everything those kinds of people want, but that is not what I like. There is no character development. There is no legitimate plot. Let's face it, having another random villain pop in for no reason only to eventually be beaten by a new Super Saiyan form and/or fusion has been done in nearly every saga of DBZ already. It's old, it's cliched, it's boring to read. The dialogue and quality of writing is no better. The dialogue usually consists of war grunts or taunts or simple commands. In truth, all the dialogue could be eliminated and have no effect on this story. As for the actual writing, it's unfortunately not up to par. There are numerous spelling errors. Even moreso, there are perplexing grammar errors that I have never seen before. Sentences will just end, midsentence with punctuation, and then start up with a new sentence like nothing happened. Sometimes sentences will just be large runons, with clear areas of needed (but ignored) punctuation. It makes for a sloppy presentation and a bad read for me. I do not like this story, and I cannot honestly say that it ever had a good moment.

Final Grade: E-

'''Goku Vs. Uub
Pros


 * 1) This is a somewhat original concept in that its scope is so small, and that it chiefly relies on character development instead of a grandiose plot.
 * 2) I appreciate the the dialogue based movement of the story.
 * 3) The fight scenes are aptly described.
 * 4) Character emotion being in the forefront of this story is something I like. I realize that you have written both characters out of character, but I appreciate the effort.
 * 5) "Last Time on Goku Vs...ah forget it! Read it yourself, you slackers! " - Absolutely hilarious.
 * 6) The ending was unexpected.
 * 7) Realizing this is not a serious story makes it all make more sense.

Cons


 * 1) No basis for when this story takes place. You say this is alternate universe, but do not specify anything. Also note that the time chamber was destroyed, anyway.
 * 2) I'm pretty sure Goku has already used up all his available time in the time chamber before this point.
 * 3) Goku is very bizzare. I want to say OOC, but that seems a bit too light. Him wanting to kill Uub to prove a point isn't something his character would do.
 * 4) Uub wouldn't have turned Goku into chocolate like that and been ready to kill him.
 * 5) I doubt a simple chocolate beam would have hurt Goku so much. He was a SS4 for crying out loud.
 * 6) I don't see a point in recapping the parts. They are so short that the recaps take up half of the episode space.
 * 7) Dialogue is not necessarily bad or awkward, it is just not how these characters talk. Goku especially seems wrong for the reasons I've mentioned before.
 * 8) Be careful to not capitalize words after a piece of dialogue, such as with: "HEY! I WASN"T READY YET!" He shouts.
 * 9) Uub wouldn't be happy that he killed Goku.
 * 10) Maybe I am missing something... but Uub wasn't injured? How did he die?

Final Comments: I don't see the need to split this really short story into four parts. All in all, it was less than 1000 words total, and was mostly dialogue. It was quite bizzare in its approach - the entire plot was based off Uub being ordered to kill Goku and Goku acting like he was on meth. That said, the writing was not terrible, the idea was not bad, and considering it was not a serious story, well I can't take it too seriously. For the technical fan like myself, it had several errors, but as a simple read through, one which is done simply for enjoyment, this story does just that. Substance-lacking aside, I think most people will like this more than I did.

Final Grade: C

Goku Chronicles
Pros


 * 1) Chapters 1, 2, 6 have funny names.
 * 2) "Garlic Jr was weak and stuff so he called his lackeys Salt, Pepper, and Pepsi (he hired a new one)." Last part was somewhat funny.
 * 3) "Hey, go away." Piccolo said with anger. Zorn said he had a coupon for In and Out but he left anyway.

Cons


 * 1) Using phrases like "and stuff", "and something", etc, to explain loads of stuff gets old when you do it every other sentence.
 * 2) Found the puar bit to be unfunny.
 * 3) The characters in this story laugh more than I do at these jokes.
 * 4) First section is hard to understand. I am not sure if this is a type of incoherent story on purpose, both in plot and in writing. If so, it's rather subtle, and could definitely be more overt in order to be funny.
 * 5) Using memes. At all.
 * 6) Chapter 2 isn't funny aside from the pro I mentioned earlier. At this point, all these failed jokes are quite awkward to read.
 * 7) Oh you're so edgy, you did a cancer joke.
 * 8) You ruin the Harry Potter joke (not that it was good to begin with) by explaining it.
 * 9) Oh a crap joke. It really was.
 * 10) Green blood part 2 was just so awkward.
 * 11) Too many writer thoughts in chapter 4.
 * 12) Master Roshi's joke was horrible.
 * 13) Too many random deaths. Gets old fast.
 * 14) Are there any jokes in chapter 6?
 * 15) It's a sad thing when the most funny part of a chapter is the chapter title.
 * 16) Chapter 7 seems like you were trying quite hard to make a funny. It didn't happen. What did happen, is a long-winded incoherent rant about future Krillin, which in theory sounds like it could have humor. However, the execution was poor enough that every try at humor was a complete miss.
 * 17) Have I mentioned how you say "stuff" and "something" way too much. God fucking damnit, man.
 * 18) Using the disappoint joke twice.
 * 19) Jeibon is not funny.

Final Thoughts: This story had all of three semi-funny moments in my view. It was riddled with stagnant repetitiveness. Jokes were often reused/overused/not funny to begin with. Every other sentence had "stuff" or "something" in it as a sort of joke. I hated that so much. Most of this relied on forced randomness, as in characters just dying from stupid things, like seeing another character. It happened so much, I don't see why it was written out ten different ways. The jokes did nothing for me, and I cannot recommend this story as being funny, or worth the read.

Final Grade: R-

Alone in the Cold and Dark
Pros


 * 1) Well written. I'd give it a 8.5/10
 * 2) Completely character driven.
 * 3) Assuming this is about an OC Saiyan, I find it very well explained. I like his unconventional emotions.
 * 4) I like how this fic doesn't try to be grandiose with its approach. The subtleness and gradual buildup of his emotions is incredibly well-written.
 * 5) This fic does good in that its ending is not some dramatic cliffhanger or clichéd event. It simply draws interest from its own accord. I would quite like to know who this Saiyan is. I do hope it's an OC, because if not, I would probably lower my grade significantly.
 * 6) Overall dark tone works surprisingly well.

Cons


 * 1) "He wraps the tattered remains of his cloak around him, struggling to drive the bitter cold of this arctic planet away and failing. " - The last part, 'and failing' should be separated into a second sentence. It is awkward as it stands.
 * 2) The second paragraph's comparison is nonsensical.
 * 3) instrament - Is misspelled.
 * 4) "As the latest sleetstorm ends, he opens his eyes, then pulls from his cloak a crude instrament of rock and rope, a makeshift knife." - Fix the part about ' a makeshift knife'. That needs to be connected to the sentence better, or separate it with a semicolon or period.
 * 5) I am not a fan of the use of heavens and angels in DBZ, when none of those really exist.
 * 6) I think you could easily put forth more effort on the transformation. Use some of that figurative language to describe it more.
 * 7) When the blood stops flowing, I think you could add a bit about how time passes, because the wound wouldn't just stop bleeding on its own.
 * 8) I don't see the point of the picture of Goku.

Final Thoughts: A rare thing on this wiki is a well-written story. This is a well-written story. There is no denying that. It reminds me of the likes of Depiction in Red, or Slaved, in that it draws its power not from plot but from character. It is short, like them, but does not feel rushed. And it has the subtlety to make it all worthwhile. Sure, it has a few problems. Most of them are minor, and have to do with sentence structure, and with the general inexperience of the writer. The character explained is left unnamed, something which I like, yet we learn so much about him in the span of a few paragraphs. His emotions are quite interesting to read too. Quite simply, I would like to know more about this character. Take notice, because this is exactly what I like in a fan fiction - a genuine piece of character development and expansion, written well, and without any tricks.

Final Grade: A-

The Saiyans
Pros


 * 1) The part about Frieza day was slightly funny.
 * 2) At that moment, Frieza staggered in. "Do you know what time it is the morning when it's actually nine at night?" he slurred.' - Genuinely funny.
 * 3) On the whole, I liked chapter 7. The dialogue when Nappa woke up, when he said darn it because Vegeta heard him talking in his sleep was amusing.

Cons


 * 1) "Raditz, bored, looked over at his comrade. Then, after thinking for a moment, yelled out, "Your mom!" Vegeta looked up at them. " - Can't even understand who is saying that.
 * 2) See, the dialogue after this doesn't make sense. Raditz says 'what?' implying he doesn't know what the 'your mom' means. Then Vegeta says 'oh... okay' like he doesn't know either. Surely Nappa wouldn't be talking about himself in third person.
 * 3) The 'your mom' joke thing is not funny. Did not find chapter 1 funny at all.
 * 4) There is little to critique on chapter two, other than it lacking any humor whatsoever.
 * 5) '"Because you are? Or you don't get enough sleep?" "One's right, one's wrong. Pick which one."' - Simply horrid. Chapter trhe could have been funny, but it's lame things like that that just ruin it completely.
 * 6) 'As Vegeta walked away, Raditz joined him. "What went on in their?"' Should be there, not their.
 * 7) Chapter 5 had no humor in it.
 * 8) I admit, I almost found Chapter 6 funny because I don't even see any humor in it. But that's not a good thing, really.
 * 9) I didn't like the ending to chapter 7, as it was just weird and random and puzzling and unfunny.

Final Thoughts: It's hard to critique something like this. I read each chapter, and it's just not funny. There is little more to it than that. I like part of chapter 7, and maybe a few other places, but even then, they were only slightly bemusing. I guess I just didn't see how this was all that funny, and I didn't really laugh at all. My second pro was the only part I laughed at.

Final Grade: R-

The Super Saiyan among us
Pros


 * 1) I don't mind the idea of having an alternative timeline where Planet Vegeta is still around, where Tarble is still around, and where he and his brother are still barely teenagers.

Cons
 * 1) The basis for this story makes no sense. Frieza was killed by Trunks, yet this takes place well before that? Even after reading this story all the way through, I still don't know where Frieza is when the story takes place, or why it's relevant to say he was killed by Vegeta's son (when that would take place decades later).
 * 2) I don't get why Cooler has Jeice on his team.
 * 3) Very plain, non-descriptive writing. Especially for fights.
 * 4) Cooler would neither want to trigger Vegeta's Super Saiyan state (as you just said he was not as arrogant as Frieza), nor would he know how to trigger it anyway.
 * 5) The scouter system you made is illogical. Why text when you can just talk commands. I don't see how, in the midst of combat, anyone has time to text their wingman.
 * 6) Vegeta would not have known Cooler killed his father.
 * 7) I don't get how Cooler knew where Vegeta was.
 * 8) Cooler's obsession with Vegeta is forced.
 * 9) The dialogue is often awkward to read.
 * 10) You add a lot of fluff to the end of speech, that often times it is unreadable.
 * 11) Author couldn't even be bothered to capitalize the title of his story.
 * 12) Cooler's opening dialogue sounds nothing like him. He is quite out of character.
 * 13) Words are often misspelled.
 * 14) Bardock becoming the king so randomly would have affected Vegeta.
 * 15) Often times, commas are just completely ignored. For example: "Interesting," said Cooler intrigued.
 * 16) Tarble's death was a wasted opportunity.
 * 17) All in all, this story makes very little sense.
 * 18) Much of the story feels rushed, like when Vegeta assaulted Cooler's ship. The lack of description makes it hard to follow, too.

Final Thoughts: This story lacks many critical aspects. The main problems are the plot and the writing. The plot is heavily forced and does not make much sense. Cooler having this obsession with Vegeta was completely out of left field. It was not established or built upon, it was just there. The writing, too, suffers numerous problems. The spelling is poor. It is a simple thing to either use spell check, or know how to spell basic words like "isn't". If you can't do those, ask for a beta reader or editor. The grammar is no better. Honestly, I did like the idea of this story - which is very rare for me - but it was not executed in a remotely good way.

Final Grade: E-

ParaGoomba's Reviews
Pros


 * 1) Well organized. I like the bullet points in the beginning, showing how professional this reviews blog is.
 * 2) Ratings system is well explained.
 * 3) Most reviews are well explained. Exceptions will be con'd below. I mean, they are your thoughts. I generally don't have a problem with them.
 * 4) I enjoyed the review of matrixpretty's reviews.
 * 5) The misc thoughts were interesting.

Cons


 * 1) "I am not biased, so I don't make it a con because of who the story is about (but I might make it a pro), the chapter titles, the character names, etc. " - This is rather contradictory. On the one hand, none of those things make you negatively biased. Then you say you would consider them as pros only. Which is positively biased. So this part is hypocritical.
 * 2) I think the Where'd You Go? review was slightly overexaggerated. I mean, fair enough if you think it's a good story, but some of the pros you listed (such as characters in charcter, proing it just for being a one-shot, proing it (in stark contrast to your previous biased point) simply because it's Nomad's best work doesn't seem like very legitimate to me.
 * 3) I don't see how your cons for DIR are legitimate. "I'd hope blood doesn't actually taste that good." - How is that really a con?
 * 4) As mentioned above, you sometimes con things or pro things that are insignificant and/or not even relevant to the author's work.

Final Thoughts: As you can probably tell, I don't really have much to say about other peoples' reviews. Basically, it's one user's thoughts, and to debate that is pretty pointless. However, my cons were mostly about the actual process of the reviews. My only real con with his reviews are that he often will use insignificant or irrelevant information to pro or con the story, and that's not really fair to the author. This is especially evident in DIR. Other than that, PG has among the best reviews on this site. He adequately explains his reasonings for pros and cons and gives a solid reasoning for his final thoughts. I think his organization is almost unparalleled on this site, and he actually puts some effort into his reviews so the authors can get help. I think that is quite good.

Final Grade: 7.0/10

Dragon Ball: Raging Blast 3
Pros


 * 1) Universal game mode is a very good idea.
 * 2) I like that this game has every saga of every DB saga. It's about time one of these did that.
 * 3) Has a legitimate and detailed character creator.
 * 4) Co-op modes all look good and interesting and fun.
 * 5) Dub mode is one of the most unique things I have ever seen.
 * 6) The complete customization, be it in character, transformation, or attack is so cool.
 * 7) I like the achievements that are listed.
 * 8) Complete Roster. Every character. And I am not exaggerating. This one has every single character. That is one of the things I have always wanted in a video game. Honestly, this alone would make me buy any DB game.
 * 9) Really large amount of stages.

Cons


 * 1) There aren't enough achievements, and I think that whole section could be expanded upon greatly.
 * 2) Wish the stages could have descriptions so we could understand where they are.
 * 3) I would like some explanation of the the fighting style. Is it going to be like RB1, RB2? Different altogether?
 * 4) Some additional features should be added, such as the music list, and a theater function (for screenshots).
 * 5) I would like to have the ability to make my own maps.

Final Thoughts: Far and away the best video game on this site. It has almost everything you could ask for in a DBZ game. The amount of characters, customization, and maps is quite phenomenal. I think this game, if it were to be made, would be better than any existing DBZ game, bar none. It still hasn't shown us what type of fighting style it would use, and looks unfinished in some other areas (such as achievements), but generally, this is a very solid article. I would really like to see this made.

Final Grade: A

User talk:Piccolo The Super Namek/Archive 1
Pros


 * 1) Werty was nice to leave a welcome message.
 * 2) Werty was nice to offer help.
 * 3) Daw, Sonikku, you were so nice with showing him how to make a sig.
 * 4) Sonikfan doesn't think 900.500 is something to shit yourself over.
 * 5) PTSN is such a pedo for seducing Sonikfan on an offwiki chat service.
 * 6) The great rollback frenzy of September 15, 2010 was so funny.
 * 7) POAS loved PTSN like a redneck loves a goat.
 * 8) PTSN is such a copy cat!
 * 9) Raging Blast, stop linking to pages that go off the wiki screen with how long their html code is.
 * 10) Congrats on surpassing 1000 edits PTSN!
 * 11) This was back when SonikFan actually had a Dragon Ball story and was a cool guy.
 * 12) Superfusion is a proper div.
 * 13) When in doubt, blame the cousins, PTSN. Blame the cousins.
 * 14) POAS doesn't know how to make a poll.
 * 15) Bardock_505 voted for PTSN as a featured user. Hahaha. It reminds me of all the votes Herman Cain gets in the current primaries.
 * 16) I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Now PTSN is asking Sonik's age.
 * 17) Superfusion can't tell how old Gohan is in pictures.
 * 18) LSS4 is such a whiner.
 * 19) What kind of sick person puts a period in their username? Bardock. sure does.
 * 20) Thanks men!
 * 21) Absolutely hilarious how so many users were part of the PTSN rebellion until he actually did something.
 * 22) Even more funny is that everyone was so resourceful in this. Usually users are so useless and never talk about anything, which made this rather odd.
 * 23) LSSJ4 is pleading with PTSN. It reminds me of a girlfriend pleading her boyfriend not to do something bad. LSSJ4 plays the part of a whiney little girl well. (but I've already mentioned that)
 * 24) Hyper Zergling seemed to be the only one involved with the PTSN drama who questioned his ability to be an admin.
 * 25) I like it when the little nublets ask about how to delete a page. They're so cute when they're stupid.
 * 26) POAS be so glad PTSN is staying (I don't know why he said that, because PTSN did not stay).
 * 27) Random words of "Sounds convenient".

Cons


 * 1) Some idiot (PTSN) left a message on his own talk page saying he joined the wiki. What a maroon!
 * 2) PTSN is the only person I know who does not know that you don't leave messages on your own talk pages as a way to start a conversation with someone else.
 * 3) He's just joined the wiki, yet his fetish for vandalism is already evident.
 * 4) Who names anyone Rahul?
 * 5) The sonikfan from these before times is using "Lol" and other strange words.
 * 6) Again, PTSN just asks on his own page (completely unprovoked) to get protection for his pages.
 * 7) Someone spelled grammar as gramer.
 * 8) This was back when SV was a big thing and everyone thought it was cool to join in and write some of it. (KV reminder: SV is the second worst fan fiction on this site)
 * 9) PTSN creates a new section every time he responds to someone on his own talk page.
 * 10) Whoever said "Your welcome." misspelled "you're" and also didn't leave their own sig, which is ironic since this whole debacle was about a sig in the first place.
 * 11) Dem blue balls was a good idea.
 * 12) Telling PTSN where Montenegro is. That would have been a pro, Raging Blast, had you actually not been such a noob and forgotten your sig.
 * 13) The stupid forced drama of the 900.500 stuff. OMG GUYS HE IS SO PWRFL AND SCURRY.
 * 14) Hindsight bias with the admin promotion.
 * 15) Nevah gonna promote no one based on actual skills.
 * 16) Superfusion tells us he created ZZ. As if that was an accomplishment.
 * 17) Ha. VN getting featured. Hahahaha.
 * 18) RB's application for adminship seemed far more desperate than he usually would be.
 * 19) What is this nonsense about being like Broly or Piccolo. You are all little kids. None of you are even remotely as cool as some anime warriors.
 * 20) Dat restarting XT was a bad idea.
 * 21) 900.500 was some pretty heavy stuff. POAS should know better than to be so lame/stupid.
 * 22) I can't imagine PTSN being an editor for anything.
 * 23) I have never seen someone so oblivious to what is going on, and so incoherent at the same time as UNLIMATED (except perhaps Nikon). Superfusion leaves a question and then UNLIMATED randomly comes in, calls him Sonikfan and begs him to make him a sig as pretty as SF's. Then he realizes it's Superfusion and instead of editing his message, just makes a new message under it.
 * 24) Oh lawdy. UNLIMATED, in his vast intellect, suggested that everyone create five articles a day (their content doesn't matter because this is an UNLIMATED plan and therefore irrational). It's just about getting there so he can promote another admin.
 * 25) Damnit PTSN, why haven't you still answered what time period Vegeta comes from? Come on man.
 * 26) Why don't you respond to Sonikfan on MSN? Not cool.
 * 27) I like how they actually discussed these horrible plot ideas for their stories. Like, they were sober when coming up with them.
 * 28) That rollback didn't sign his post. Demote him. (I already have)
 * 29) Supersaiyian11, you lazy person, don't ask other people to put pictures on your own stories. Do that yourself.
 * 30) Now Sonikfan is seducing PTSN with trying to get him to download AIM. When they're off the wiki, they could be doing anything.
 * 31) Random user says PTSN is the top bureaucrat without signing his name. Could be UNLIMATED, but that dolt usually signs his posts.
 * 32) Making more DBF wikis. Good idea bro.
 * 33) XT reborn. WHY WON'T THESE TERRIBLE FANONS JUST GO AWAY?!
 * 34) You'd think by this point, PTSN would have learned that his talk page isn't some place to just post things for no reason.
 * 35) I'd argue against that stupid wiki senate with a reference to Star Wars, but I'm too tired. Nonetheless, bad idea.
 * 36) Striking update, Superfusion. You changed his color.
 * 37) I can't believe NomadMusik had the idea to make a bunch of sockpuppet admins. There are literally no benefits for such a thing.
 * 38) Y u delete the Super Saiyan 6 information ?!?!?!!?!?
 * 39) Plotting with LSSJ4 about how to vandalize and not get demoted. Makes LSSJ4 look like more of a dolt than he ever did, quite honestly.
 * 40) PTSN was felt threatened by Hyper Zergling's remarks.
 * 41) Oh god, there's the HZ bubble.
 * 42) Hyper Zergling pestered PTSN far too much about archiving his talk page. To Hyper Zergling, there is no rule that anyone needs to archive it, and they have no reason to be compelled to do so. Forcing them to archive it is a very selfish demand. And archiving it has no real difference. If you just press leave new message, or take like 30 seconds to look  through it to actually see where you need to respond (and asking him to archive it implies you are too lazy to take a mere 30 seconds to look) is being quite imposing. This is an absolutely ridiculous demand, and I hope you feel both ashamed and sorry for being such a dick to him.

Final Thoughts: Where have you gone, PTSN? Our wiki turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo woo woo. What's that you say KidVegeta? PTSN has left and gone away? Hey hey hey… hey hey hey!That's right. He's gone. I'm not going to pretend I ever cared about him, or ever respected him, or ever saw him as anything other than a childish, ineffective scumbag, and a piss-poor writer. He brought unneeded drama to this wiki with his unprofessionalism. Of course, that goes back to Werty promoting him in the first place, but I don't have the space to make this an anti-werty review (see my review of his terrible reviews for that). Looking back through PTSN's archive, I see very little that is worth remembering. Back then, there was almost no sanity in it. Hyper Zergling had the only maturity on the entire site, and that was quite pathetic. Seeing everyone act like they did makes me glad that I was not part of it (even though I had joined a few days prior to all this taking place), and glad that the wiki has moved on from such a embarrassing way of running.

Final Rating: 0.1115/10 

Dragon Ball:Adventures
Pros


 * 1) Frieza is in character until he starts transforming.
 * 2) It would have been cool if Vegeta really did transform into a SS3 against Kid Buu.

Cons


 * 1) Why is there no space in the title before Adventures?
 * 2) Could use better organization and navigation between stories.
 * 3) Usually I don't do cons like this, but the Bardock theme really doesn't fit his story at all.
 * 4) Why would Dodoria just leave? The least he'd do is kill Toma. It doesn't make sense that he would sit back and let his squad die.
 * 5) Please use dialogue paragraph separation.
 * 6) Dialogue grammar is absimal.
 * 7) Wasn't impressed by Bardock's Super Saiyan transformation. Really, it made the whole idea of it seem less grand. Since he achieved it so easily, it wasn't a very special moment.
 * 8) I'm putting this as a con instead of a pro, but it is not a major con. The writing style is an overal 5/10. The problems have to do with the dialogue separation being nonexistant, the overuse of fragment sentences, and the sheer awkwardness of a lot of the way in which it is written. There aren't many typos, but I do think the descriptions are lackluster at best.
 * 9) Frieza's ship is not big enough to hold hundreds of thousands of soldiers.
 * 10) Super Saiyan does not heal a person. Bardock was seriously wounded, so he would need to get healed before fighting Frieza.
 * 11) I think it was rushed with how fast Bardock got to Frieza's ship.
 * 12) The part with Zarbon vs Bardock was very disjointed and hard to read.
 * 13) Frieza's dialogue with Bardock is painfully embarrassing.
 * 14) Frieza wouldn't power up to every transformation. He'd skip to his last one.
 * 15) Frieza's mannerisms are far to calm and forced when he is powering up.
 * 16) Bardock vs Frieza was rushed and uninteresting. Very predictable too.
 * 17) Fair enough if you have a song every now and then, but you have dozens in short succession. I'm not going to listen to them all.
 * 18) All in all, I did not enjoy the Bardock story. If it was less rushed and better described, maybe it could have been better.
 * 19) Almost all of the dialogue in this second story is pointless and could be removed.
 * 20) I don't think it was right with how easily Vegeta destroyed Kid Buu.
 * 21) All in all, the Buu episode was rather pointless because of how short it was.
 * 22) Burter is mondo OOC.
 * 23) You made Jeice so stereotypical. Lame.
 * 24) The random OCs you made shouldn't just randomly spout off their ages like that.
 * 25) Dante and the other two were just so random. You should have explained who they were and why the Ginyu force were there, and when this was taking place, and where the Z fighters were, etc. Didn't like that episode.
 * 26) Domon's flashback is so lame. I wish you would just go back to writing the what if stories instead of this crap.
 * 27) Frieza and Zarbon's dialogue is not good in the final chapter you have posted.
 * 28) Overall, didn't like the new OC story.

Final Thoughts: These stories have lots of problems, but they are readable. I think fixing those problems would make them have more potential in the future. Whereas some stories just have no hope, this one is not like that. It surely does. That said, I only think the what if stories should be pursued. The Dante/Domon story was too random and too unexplained and too poorly thought out and too poorly written to have any good come out of it. I would highly recommend that be abandoned. Otherwise, fix up the other stories, and you could get better as time goes on.

Final Grade: D-

User:KidVegeta
Pros


 * 1) Holy crap, you have a lot of edits.
 * 2) And you got them all only since September 2010. Holy cow!
 * 3) You are an admin (please don't ban me)!
 * 4) OMG you're a dinosaur. Rawr.
 * 5) Amazing avatar.
 * 6) Ranked #1 on the wiki for badges. 45 of them! Nice job!
 * 7) Wow, you have a cool real life name. KidVegeta! huh.
 * 8) The Hyper Zergling quote you have is hilarious.
 * 9) You have an awesome birth name.
 * 10) That picture of your kitty is very cool.
 * 11) Your height is simply orgasmic.
 * 12) Legendary alt names/users.
 * 13) No allegiance. Now aren't you a hardcore little fuck.
 * 14) Wow, he's a male.
 * 15) Fantastic birthday. That explains the username!
 * 16) You live on Earth too? WE ARE SO ALIKE.
 * 17) Holy frijoles, you're a kitty. Is it really hard to type? Guess not, with all those edits you have.
 * 18) A pianist. Cool!
 * 19) Whoa, you wrote a lot of stories.
 * 20) The Forgotten is just a masterpiece, plain and simple.
 * 21) In Requiem is beautiful.
 * 22) Spindlerun is suberbly refined.
 * 23) I loves CV.
 * 24) KC is my favorite story ever.
 * 25) OMG you made Legacies. <3
 * 26) A Mother's Love! Yeah!
 * 27) Oh cool, you wrote a story for a contest and won with it.
 * 28) Those Brady Patrick stories were so good. Hot damn, write some more of those.
 * 29) I simply love your reviews. You are so informative and helpful.
 * 30) It was very nice of you to write a fan fiction guide for all the noobles.
 * Oh, heck. You're a scholar of canonicity too. What can't you do, KidVegeta?!
 * 1) Your first sig is straight up badass.
 * 2) Your second sig is cool as fuck.
 * 3) Your third sig has probably teh coolest quote on it.
 * 4) Your fourth sig is so funny. I laugh every time I see it, and I've seen it dozens of times.
 * 5) Awesome reference with your quote on sig4.
 * 6) Sig4b is so funny too because of the way you make fun of HZ with it.
 * 7) I like that the last two sigs have funny text on them when you put your cursor over the gif image.
 * 8) Great idea with all the "For when..." stuff on each sig. Works out amazingly well.
 * 9) I like that you have a top 10 favorite character list and a top 10 least favorite character list.
 * 10) Like that you give long-winded eloquent explanations as to why you like or dislike a character. You have fascinating insight that leaves me wanting more and more.
 * 11) Damn right Chiaotzu is the worst character.
 * 12) Holy mother of Sam you have your own category. Mad props, man.
 * 13) I cannot get enough of this userpage. I could be here all day.

Cons


 * 1) None.

Final Thoughts: My most serious review yet.

Final Rating: 10/10

Tamera
Pros


 * 1) Tamera to tomato is a stretch, but at least you tried, and explained it.
 * 2) Fear of bugs was a nice personality touch.
 * 3) Solid TOTA section.
 * 4) The pictures aren't spectacular, but at least you've given us a picture of what she looks like.
 * 5) Whole page is well set up. Although, I'm surprised you didn't write down her Japanese name.

Cons


 * 1) Kun is a male honorific. I do not like that you use it for Tamera, no matter how tomboyish she may be.
 * 2) Bitch-kun is quite an unecessary name.
 * 3) Bear in mind I have not read the terror of the androids yet, but just by reading this, I don't exactly see a good side to Tamera. Sure, she may care about Gohan, and also use respectful honorifics with Goku, but the constant swearing and mocking and everything, I just don't see how anyone could like her. Maybe that's the intention, though. I certainly don't see any way to connect with her.
 * 4) The history section should definitely be expanded and made clearer. I know this is AU, and you basically changed the entire DB plot, but who were Tamera's parents? How did they find Namek, and when exactly did Frieza kill them?
 * 5) I think this character has some stu problems with Goku and Gohan. I mean, she likes them, but is so nasty to everyone else. Not something that is good in a character.
 * 6) I don't like how strong she is, with being able to easily fight Gero like that. A history of her power levels would probably be needed, because I don't really see a way she could be that strong, considering all the history up that point (with her not even fighting anybody before Gero).
 * 7) Her living with Goku is forced.

Final Thoughts: My main problems with this OC are that she is a stu, plain and simple. Stus are boring. Tamera is some rude little girl with little to counterbalance her caustic personality, and nothing to help the reader connect with her. Her relationships with Gohan and Goku are forced and I can just imagine the writer specifically putting her on good terms with these two (and pretty much only these two) because the author likes those characters. She is a Saiyan, yes, but she doesn't actually ever fight anyone until Gero (at least, the page mentions no one before Gero), so her being on par with him, after a Zenkai, is overpowering. I am not fond of overpowering. To fix Tamera, I recommend three things: 1. Give her more positive/original/outstanding personality traits so she is a three dimensional character. 2. Give her more fights, and showcase her power more. She's a Saiyan; it's pretty much necessary. 3. Stop making her only like Goku and Gohan. It's pretty forced, at least from the explanations. So as she stands right now, Tamera does not appeal to me very much. I'm sure other users may like her more, but those cons listed above are the problems I have with her, and none of them are small cons.

Final Grade: D

Dragon Ball: For Answer
Pros


 * 1) Apt description of Frieza.
 * 2) Proper spelling and grammar for the most part.
 * 3) The author clearly has the ability to write (although, perhaps not in this medium, effectively).

Cons


 * 1) I will not hide from this fact; free verse is not for me. I detest it wholly, and completely.
 * 2) Words are occasionally misspelled, such as "reckage" (should be wreckage).
 * 3) "There he lies./Among the reckage of all he has loved." This seems highly uncharacteristic of a Saiyan to me. They are not hopeless romantics or petty emos. They are warriors. And if he is experiencing some emotional upheaval, I reckon it should be more in character with their species. Take Zeon's story for example, and you can see how a Saiyan can experience fear and pain and suffering, and not be regulated to an OOC human personality.
 * 4) Show, do not tell. Telling us he is a Saiyan, and explaining who they are doesn’t fit properly in a poem, in my opinion. Context clues, such as mentioning his tail, his war scars, his warrior body, etc would be much better than the simple and plain text written there now.
 * 5) It comes off as pretentious and arrogant, in my view, to use "oh" like you do. I realize it's a more old world type of expression, but this is my review, and I don't like it when such things are used so frequently. At most, you could use it once or twice, but even then "oh, sad graces" is quite an awkward and lame phrase, that I wouldn't become attached to it if I were you.
 * 6) You seem to be half-heartedly attempting to inject punctuation into this. I'd say, either abandon it altogether (as poetry needs none to read correctly) or actually be correct about everything.
 * 7) Honestly, it doesn't read as a poem. Too much backstory is put into this, and too much straightforward writing is too. Use the type of writing you used to describe Frieza, and write the entire story like that.
 * 8) Planet Vegeta was destroyed, not simply laid barren. That is a rather critical error.
 * 9) I don't even understand what "oh, sad graces" even is supposed to mean.
 * 10) Again, in part 2, the way you describe the Saiyan's thoughts is not like a poem should be. It's a simple explanation. I would recommend abandoning the poetry medium, and simply writing this as a story.
 * 11) In part 2, things get embarrassing to read. Calling Scouters "fabled" and him a "warrior supreme" (sounds like a flavor of ice cream to me) does not work. Descriptions need to be confident without being irrelevant.
 * 12) I don't think you quite understand the meaning of the word blessing. Calling the Saiyan's lack of a Super Saiyan transformation a lost blessing is a clear misuse of the word.
 * 13) Part 3 reminds me of a narrator speaking out the plot for the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!
 * 14) I don't want simple explanations for the poem (for that destroys the purpose of it), but it would be nice to have had some buildup to Hail, and shown (not told!) how The Saiyan learned of him and began to hate him, and then went out to kill him. Stuff like that is quite important for us, the readers, to enjoy the story.

Final Thoughts: Simple thoughts on this: Try a different medium, and the grade will surely rise. It does not work, and will not work as a poem. I can honestly say that currently, the story is really, really bad. It has good grammar and spelling for the most part, but it is all wasted on the medium in which it is presented. I'd like to think I know a thing or two about poems (having taken some college level classes in how to write them), so I hope this doesn't come off as a useless review. But, I do hope you can garner some insight and perspective from what I've written above.

Final Grade: D

Nimbus's Writtings
Pros


 * 1) Mostly good spelling and grammar.
 * 2) Usually good descriptions of things. I, however, do not think they are exceptional or perfect by any means. That is okay, though.
 * 3) Chapter 3 was not bad.
 * 4) Chapter four was interesting, but I think it could have been longer and more encompassing in order to garner more interest from the reader. Certainly, you could have talked a bit more about Trunks remembering his time with Gohan from before this point.
 * 5) Part 6 had some good death scenes in it. I liked Cell killing Trunks with the sword fragment.
 * 6) Good self-critique at the end of part 7.
 * 7) Usually good tone settings.
 * 8) Decent buildup for each story, considering they are so short.
 * 9) I like the variety of the stories, and I think the ones you chose about the Future Gohan/Trunks era were good choices.

Cons


 * 1) I'm not going to doc you on saying Nimbus's, because really you can have the s or not. But misspelling the word "writings" in the title is something that I have to bring up.
 * 2) Dislike the "Uuu" stuff in the actual story.
 * 3) First story switches between past and present tense. Cannot do that.
 * 4) Saying all humanity in him has vanished is nonsensical. Goku isn't human. He is a pureblood Saiyan.
 * 5) "Around the age of four exactly" is contradictive.
 * 6) First story doesn't end in a way that I think fits the fic. It should end on the note of him realizing that he has transformed. The actual transformation itself is barely mentioned, and it should be mentioned more.
 * 7) I have seen you do this at least three times. It is spelled "remember", not "remeber".
 * 8) The second story is started in the middle of an action scene. Which can be done if written correctly. But when you start it out as "then, suddenly," it does not showcase good writing.
 * 9) Ocassional mixup of homophones.
 * 10) Near the end of the second part, we get this sentence "He couldn’t it back." which has no meaning to it.
 * 11) I am disappointed that in the second scene, it was not ever said who Trunks was, or who any of these people are. It hindered the story greatly.
 * 12) "He finally died after the horrid, painful, and Hellish death he endured." - doesn't even make sense.
 * 13) Did not like the narrator part of story 3.
 * 14) The first part of the fourth story is missing words in the sentences.
 * 15) "Not even HELL would! " was pretty lame.
 * 16) Absolutely hated part 5. Vegeta is very much out of character, that all of it should be scrapped. None of it sounds like him, none of it reminds me of him.
 * 17) You use phrases like "the hero" and "the warrior" so much, and never actually use his Name. I think it hinders the stories. It makes them awkward, for one, and embarrassing for another. Even with Trunks and Bulma, you can't just say their names! Come on, say their names. Stop overly describing them and muddying up the text because of it.
 * 18) one problem with these nine stories is that they are all written quite similar. They all have the same dramatized, sad tone about them, and I think this would be better if you mixed up the emotions. Have some happy ones, some sad ones, some determined ones, some hateful ones, etc.
 * 19) Threw is the past form of throw. Through is to go through something. I only mention this one specifically, because I've seen it done twice on this blog alone.
 * 20) I think Future Gohan's death could have been written with more detail. It's like you gave up in the fourth paragraph and just wanted it to be over.

Final Thoughts: I think these writeups show two things. 1. That clearly, Nimbus is not a perfect writer, and 2. Clearly, Nimbus is not a bad writer. These stories are short, and they seem to me like they are mere practice. They work well as that. The author is experimenting and refining her technique, and though it can get pretty ugly in some parts, I'm sure that in her actual writings, she will have fixed the problems she sees. There is potential here.

Final Grade: C

Dragon Ball Z: Super Tenkaichi
Pros


 * 1) I like that hitting the ground removes health.
 * 2) The modes are well described.
 * 3) Good amount of fighting zones.

Cons


 * 1) No Xbox, PS3, Computer. Lame.
 * 2) Don't like the idea of nostalgia graphics. Especially for DBZ. Maybe if it was a Sonic or Megaman game, I could understand, but not for DBZ.
 * 3) 2d game.
 * 4) Health system and ki system is not intuitive at all.
 * 5) Starting a good deal of the way into the DBZ story. No. You either start from the beginning, or you don't start at all.
 * 6) You give no incentive to buy the iPhone version. Basically, it's just a crappier version of the regular game.
 * 7) No incentive to win a match. Even if you lose, a quicktime will come up. That is amongst the most shoddy gameplay mechanics I have ever seen.
 * 8) If you don't win the tournament, you shouldn't receive any zeni.
 * 9) Needs to have a distinction between what if characters and normal characters.
 * 10) No kid Vegeta.
 * 11) No SS3 Vegeta.
 * 12) No Future Gohan.
 * 13) No SS3 Broly.
 * 14) Overall, missing characters is not good.
 * Oh, please. Xicor in this. Immediate con.
 * 1) Having a Super Saiyan Hercule, especially without having other staple characters.
 * 2) Lack of player customization, character customization or any sort of other super attack customization.
 * 3) No intuitive gametypes, such as the various arcade modes in RB1.
 * 4) The pictures aren't even in nostalgia graphics, so I don't see the point in including them.

Final Thoughts: If I saw this game for real, I would not buy it. It has little that it offers in terms of gameplay, and only being available on the lesser consoles is just useless. The lack of graphics, the lack of customization, the lack of being 3d makes this a game I would never want to see made, never play, and never even consider. I cannot say there is much good about this game. What there is, is well explained, I will give you that, but for the actual content, it is lacking in almost all areas.

Final Grade: E-

Dragon Ball Z: The survivor
Pros


 * 1) Inclusion of kid Vegeta. Yeah!
 * 2) Good spelling and grammar. Some iffy spots, but generally good. I'd give it a 8/10.
 * 3) Great background to set the story up to. I like this era of DB better than any other time.
 * 4) Very good fight scenes, especially with the crab.
 * 5) Decent fight with Potaro vs. Vegeta.

Cons


 * 1) I don't see any legitimate reason for King Vegeta to care about this Terrax's son being born. Pretty OOC, but also it's a really blatant and badly forced plot mechanic.
 * 2) The Saiyan was born with a power level 10 sizes too big.
 * 3) King Vegeta would be more irate/surprised/fearful/mad at a Saiyan being born with a power level of 8000. Just yawning and saying "Oh, he's no Broly" is badly done. He would kill Potaro, plain and simple. He tried to kill Broly, he would try to kill Potaro.
 * 4) King Vegeta wouldn't know about Kakarot or Raditz personally.
 * 5) King Vegeta never had a calm moment after learning about Broly. Basically, he learned who Broly was the day he died, so you can't have him just casually mention Broly like that.
 * 6) I don't see how Potaro's name is a political move.
 * 7) This story is noncanon. Kakarot and Broly didn't exist days/years before their planet was annihilated. It was the day of. And considering some time has passed since then, even years, you have really screwed up the timeline. I know this is labeled as AU, but nowhere so far has there been any inclination of what exactly is AU, so this con stays.
 * 8) I think Raditz's age is off.
 * 9) Okay, now listen. Nappa was not a kid with Vegeta. Even when Vegeta was five in the Bardock special, Nappa was fully grown, and he was the top general.
 * 10) Raditz's dialogue is consistently horrible.
 * 11) Saiyan Eagle. Come on, really?
 * 12) Vegeta is out of character completely.
 * 13) Everyone being so nonchalant and praising Potaro just comes off as forced thoughts of the author being told to us. Don't like that.
 * 14) Big bang attack wasn't around at this time.
 * 15) This King Vegeta in the fifth chapter is nothing like the one in the opening. They are two completely different characters in their mannerisms and temper. This inconsistency bothers me a lot.
 * 16) Potaro's punishment was lame.
 * 17) Frieza was with the Saiyans ever since King Vegeta was the king. If this is where the story differs into AU, then state it. But not doing so is making me assume this is oversight, and therefore leads to a con.

Final Thoughts: Perhaps this story had the most potential of any I have reviewed. Certainly, it should. It's featured in my favorite time period, with my favorite character as a major contributor, and it is well written. Unfortunately, that is where almost all of my pros end. The plot itself is forced. The Saiyan boy is born with a power level astronomically high. Characters are inconsistent, such as the docile, pensive turned rage filled irrational King Vegeta. Nappa is too young, Raditz is too old, and kid Vegeta is strikingly out of character when he speaks. All of these problems hampered my enjoyment of the story. My biggest con is Potaro himself. This thing of destiny and being so powerful from birth makes me not appreciate him as much, because rarely did I read of him accomplishing things that were not forced accomplishments through the author's writing. Let's face it, he lost against Vegeta and was praised for it. Wouldn't happen in Saiyan society, really. My first and most urgent recommendation to fix this fan fiction would be to remove Potaro's power crutch. Make him gain power on his own. That will give him a little personality, a little reality, and would help me, the reader, to not have such distaste at his existence.

Final Grade: C

DBGVB- Final Tenkaichi
Pros


 * 1) Character list looks good. I doubt all of them are there, but you'll eventually add anyone so, yeah.
 * 2) Decent amount of stages. Could have more, though.
 * 3) Love the hero mode.
 * 4) Good achievements. Could have more, though.
 * 5) Good picks for Bosses, at least for the canon characters. Could have more, though.
 * 6) Good gameplay improvements. Could have more, though.

Cons


 * 1) Inclusion of fanon characters.
 * 2) Inclusion of fanon Super Saiyan levels.
 * 3) Preorder bonuses are ridiculous and I hate them. If I don't have this game for xbox, I can't get Super Saiyan Nappa? Bullshit.
 * 4) Missions area is not explained at all.
 * 5) I think all races in the hero mode should have equal customization.
 * 6) All of the hero modes need more expanding.
 * 7) I think you should give full customization for super attacks and whatnot.
 * 8) Needs better explanation for the exact fighting techniques available.
 * 9) Almost no modes are in this game.

Final Thoughts: Good start, but as it currently is, this game doesn't have enough content for me to really like it at all, or consider buying it. Needs more expansion on the modes offered, and needs more modes, such as arcade or versus. All characters should be in. I don't like how there are a bunch of your own fanon characters, which puts off us fans which aren't fans of your story. Basically, as the game is right now, there is no reason why anybody would buy it.

Final Grade: E-

DragonBall Z: Alternate Universe
Pros


 * 1) Glad you didn't change the Saiyan Saga. However, the Lord Slug/Turles movies never happened in the canon timeline period, so yeah, it's not like that part was changed.

Cons


 * 1) Please separate your paragraphs in a more readable way. It's unbearable as is.
 * 2) Overpowering Piccolo as much as you did is bad. I mean, he was overpowered enough with his fusions with Nail and Kami, so this is just taking it to a ridiculous extreme.
 * 3) Writing is boring, simplistic. Does not tell a story, but readsd as a cursory explanation.
 * 4) Childish dialogue, such as "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" is constantly used for all characters. Dialogue is all around poor.
 * 5) Vegeta is out of character.
 * 6) Poor spelling and grammar.
 * 7) Piccolo was as strong as Android 17, you said. Cooler and Frieza would be no match for him. He would not be able to be hurt by either.
 * 8) You need to create new paragraphs when different people speak, etc.
 * 9) Goku's SS transformation was probably the lamest I've ever read.
 * 10) Krillin dying was forced, and unnecessary, at least in the way you did it.
 * 11) And then Vegeta transforms too. Way to kill the importancy of Super Saiyan.
 * 12) The part with Salza was "wtf". None of it makes sense.
 * 13) Everyone is randomly coming to Namek with no time delay or anything.
 * 14) Remove all dialogue. It sucks.
 * 15) The part with the sword makes no sense.
 * 16) Too much relience on senzu beans.
 * 17) All of Frieza's family are killed with little to no impact.
 * 18) There was no point in bringing King Cold and Kuriza to Namek.
 * 19) This has to be a troll story. Now Gohan randomly turns Super Saiyan. Holy hell, this is bad.
 * 20) If Gohan's neck was broken, he couldn't crawl to the ship and pilot it away.
 * 21) Vegeta vs Goku was horrible. Author doesn't even describe, and just uses the lazyman's way out of "oh it went on for 30 minutes and Vegeta won". Pathetic.
 * 22) Bah, Vegeta wouldn't give Goku a senzu. More to the point, but where does everyone get these senzus from? They've eaten hundreds by this point.
 * 23) Vegeta softening up and living on Earth after what he did is forced.
 * 24) Salza suddenly living with Vegeta is forced and illogical. Vegeta wouldn't even want that guy as his training partner.
 * 25) Vegeta's dialogue in the Android saga is just the Author using his canon quotes, and writing them out poorly.
 * 26) What the hell? Vegeta kills Gero, randomly, then punches 17 and flies away? Without finishing the battle? What is going on?
 * 27) It's confusing in the 17/18 and Trunks/Piccolo scene, because there is no basis of POV. The lack of descriptions really hampers this part.
 * 28) Trunks' vocabulary is nonsensical.
 * 29) Everything is written in a very rushed way.

Final Thoughts: This fic is bad. Really bad. I don't have anything else to say about it.

Final Grade: E-

Dragon Ball EG
Pros


 * 1) None.

Cons


 * 1) Stupid little templates floating around.
 * 2) Horrid formatting.
 * 3) So Goku comes back... and he's an eternal dragon.
 * 4) Really poor spelling and grammar.
 * 5) 9 wishes every 32 years is nonsensical.
 * 6) I like how Goku will become evil and he knows it for some reason.
 * 7) Ooh 7 times stronger!
 * 8) Goku makes Chi-chi a baby.
 * 9) Gohan has to waste a wish because Goku made Chi-chi too young (seriously, why even do something like that?).
 * 10) vegeta's wishes are terrible. That you even include SS5 says a lot for this fanon.
 * 11) Vegeta's third wish is so stupid. And his wish isn't fulfilled, as he starts fighting a bunch of random enemies.
 * 12) omega Buu.
 * 13) Omega Buu's lame attack of poisoning some boiling water and throwing it at Vegeta. I'm not kidding, that actually happens.
 * 14) "What has you done with Vegeta?"
 * 15) Vegeta's fight in hell is pointless and badly written.
 * 16) All these random wishes wouldn't really happen. They would be more careful about their wishes.
 * 17) Gohan wouldn't wish for Piccolo to be back.
 * 18) Also, I don't see how that one wish uses up three wishes. This fic is very inconsistent.
 * 19) Goku so OOC.
 * 20) Use paragraph separation when different people talk. Con con con.
 * 21) Gohan has SS3 without any reason.
 * 22) Using ain't.
 * 23) Darkness bomb is so lame. Be original, stop using canon things and lamely modifying them.
 * 24) Solar flare wouldn't allow everyone to escape. Goku can sense if he can't see.
 * 25) All the power ups are really overpowering people.
 * 26) Super Namek 2 is a bad idea.
 * 27) Going giant should not have defeated Goku.
 * 28) And Goku is suddenly Palpatine.
 * 29) All these random energy attacks and new Super Saiyan levels are unexplained.
 * 30) The namekians would not agree to fuse with Goku.
 * 31) Multiple people have died, been revived, and died again within a matter of moments. This not only cheapens the use of Dragon Balls, but makes it clear that death means absolutely nothing because everyone will come back.
 * 32) Piccolo wouldn't have beat Goku, since he is nowhere near as strong.
 * 33) Why didn't they just wish Goku wasn't a dragon in the first place?
 * 34) They have used the namekian dragon balls way too much.
 * 35) No proper ending.
 * 36) The namekians unfusing with Piccolo makes no sense.

Final Thoughts: I don't like giving a story the nonsense template, as it is generally mean, but this story is so off the wall ridiculous and stupid, that it really does deserve the template.

Final Grade: E-

Rauleli: A Tuffle's Tale
Pros


 * 1) Unique basis for the story.
 * 2) I like how you put the date at the beginning of each chapter.
 * 3) Part 2 has much better writing/buildup than part 1 does.
 * 4) Rauleli is a well developed character.

Cons


 * 1) The description of the actual moment of birth is confusing.
 * 2) The writing generally lacks buildup, causing much of it to read as rushed.
 * 3) Please create a new paragraph every time a new person speaks. It is incorrect to do otherwise.
 * 4) Occassional homophone mixups, such as saying "no" instead of "know".
 * 5) Rauleli's dialogue can be painful to read, such as when she describes Rosalee taking her place. It's awkward, and doesn't exactly work in the sense of being realistic or readable.
 * 6) The flaw in this plan is that if Rosalee takes over Rauleli's place, Rosalee will go missing herself, and I think Rauleli (of whom is purported vast intellect) would have thought about this and realized her plan doesn't make any sense.
 * 7) My main problem with this story is that it is written in earth-style. Earth times are used (when planet vegeta has a different rotational day), and you use bedsheets as a way for her to get out. Which is pretty cliched to archaic fairy tales. So I think you should spend some time coming up with an actual universe that has unique features to it, seeing as the Tuffles themselves were a technologically advanced society. I don't see them as living in old castles.

Final Thoughts: This story is mostly written well, though it lacks in some areas. It's process and approach is unique, and the characters are refreshingly well-developed. However, some parts can get awkward, and the plot often times does not make sense. Rauleli's intelligence is not as believable once we can see her plan is illogical. And the Tuffle kingdom appears out of universe here, because normally they are described as a hyper-advanced species with almost incomparable technological capabilities, none of which are showcased here. But, I can safely say this story is above average.

Final Grade: B

D-Disk Reviews
Pros


 * 1) Good organization.
 * 2) Good reviews ratings.
 * 3) The piccolo guardian of hell review is well-detailed.
 * 4) Starting from that review on, the detail definitely picks up, and all reviews are explained better.
 * 5) The IR review was not bad, although much more focus was put on the cons section.

Cons


 * 1) Can be very unspecific in the reviews.
 * 2) Can lack relevant thoughts in the reviews.
 * 3) The early reviews are pretty short and don't exactly give detailed enough reviews to be considered good help to the author.
 * 4) In the ST, review, for example, the pros and cons don't exactly match up with the grade. Not to mention, but that review has the pros highly exaggerated.\
 * 5) The lack of effort put into giving the cons, such as on the PGT review make it hard to understand why the story gets a D+.
 * 6) Same deal with the bloodlines review, only this time there aren't even closing comments, so the author has little to understand from this review.
 * 7) A Mother's Love was quite overrated, compared to other stories.
 * 8) The swetty reviews review comes off as trying to both please Werty, and please me, and thus its inconsistency in rating/closing thoughts and the actual pros and cons make it not a legitimate review.
 * 9) My biggest con with this reviews blog is of TF, unfortunately. Despite it taking up the largest amount of space, it is easily the worst review DD has thus far produced. The lack of detail in the reviews, and the cons (and pros) that are often times simply factually incorrect makes me only think that DD never read TF, or simply did not give any effort into making these reviews. His reviews of the first two sagas were the only ones which gave me any help in terms of fixing up some parts, because after that, the review devolves into pure nonsense which often times praises things which simply did not happen, and complains about things which simply did not happen. For taking up such a large part of the review, I think this hampers the overall blog greatly, in that they are so poor in comparison to the rest. I realize some may think I am biased because this is a review of my story, but the truth is the truth.

Final Thoughts: Reviews that're better than some.

Final Grade: 7.0/10

Proud Saiyan Prince Vegeta
Pros


 * 1) Love the detail put into every aspect of the story.
 * 2) Great introspective look into Vegeta's past and emotions.
 * 3) Great writing abilities.
 * 4) I like the continued adherence to japanese terminology.
 * 5) Overall, though it's hard to specify specific points that I really enjoyed, the story kept me entertained, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Cons


 * 1) I don't like how some things are changed, such as Goku going SS against Vegeta on earth.
 * 2) I also don't like how everyone has an ability like being able to control water or fire. That is out of universe, and has no place in DBZ.
 * 3) Not a fan of every chapter being hindered by the fact that it has to start with "Vegeta" on every single one.
 * 4) The prologue is written poorly.
 * 5) Also, assuming that is Vegeta, he is very out of character.
 * 6) I want a detailed fight of Broco vs Goku.
 * 7) Occassional awkward dialogue/grammar or misspelled words, but there aren't too many.
 * 8) You should definitely state how old Vegeta is.
 * 9) You keep talking about how human heart = compassionate, but that doesn't make sense.

Final Thoughts: Although only one chapter and a prologue are posted, what is shown of this story is pretty darn good. The writing is nice, the themes are good, the first person introspection works. It has a few faults, listed above, but nothing that is really all that bad. I recommend this story as one of the better ones I have yet read.

Final Grade: B+

Atonement
Pros
 * 1) Writing style is 6/10. The cons below expand on the problems, but I do think the vocabulary and grammar is mostly adequate.

Cons
 * 1) Beyond the first sentence of the explanation, you do not need to put anything. What is there, the part about his soul going through stuff is rather lame. You should never tell people exactly what is going on like that.
 * 2) The sentences are disjointed. They do not flow.
 * 3) The resolution of the Saiyan's death was immediate, which is not good. He starts to die, and bam - he is sorry about everything. That is hard to believe, as all of the text before was devoted to the opposite. Either, you should foreshadow his regrets, or not make him boldly single-minded. Then it would be believable.
 * 4) His death, I assume, was on Planet Vegeta. If not, it should be specified. So, since he died on Planet Vegeta, Frieza would not be in Hell, and Cell would not be created yet (thus being completely unknown to the character, and irrelevant).
 * 5) I don't see where the atonement takes place, really. He and Frieza will both be in hell, yes. But that alone doesn't suffice. There needs to be more, like some sort of interaction between the Saiyan and Frieza.
 * 6) The phrase "The realization was pointless" doesn't make sense.
 * 7) I don't like that the Saiyan's name is revealed in the trivia, and not the story itself.

Final Thoughts: Significant story problems coupled with adequate writing makes for a lacking (if readable) read. While I understood what the author was trying to present here, it was rushed. The coherence aside, Atonement's shortness leaves me wanting more - not only because it is only one hundred or so words, but because it has so many cons above which hinder the enjoyment from reading it.

Final Grade: E

User:Gotek
Pros
 * 1) Ranked 23rd. Nice!

Cons
 * 1) I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of lame that Gotek puts being a wikia admin in his occupation.
 * 2) Quotes section is irrelevant, overly long, and rarely filled with anything even remotely good.
 * 3) The colors on the userpage are rather bad. The blue background makes much of the text unreadable. Also, the army of yellow school buses that border it are an eyesore.
 * 4) Gotek has all these pictures with his name. Really, that's just pathetic. Nobody cares about your self aggrandizing, egotistical, show offy pictures. None of them are amazing, anyway.
 * 5) Nicknames are lame as fuck.
 * 6) Okay, all of the fields on that character infobox of Gotek are really, really unfunny and stupid.
 * 7) Favorite characters section makes my eyes bleed.
 * 8) After all of these sections like "Gotek Favorite Characters" or "Gotek More" or "Gotek Sigs" I could only think of "Gotek Smash".
 * 9) Taste in instruments is cursory, poorly explained, and bad in general.
 * 10) Taste in music is not something I agree with. Several "likes" and "dislikes" are hypocritical and oxymoronic. Bam, I'm reviewing, so I get say that.
 * 11) Band list is excessive. If anyone's read it, they must suck.
 * 12) Yeah, I could see putting a top ten list of songs, maybe top five, but top 30 is excessive. People don't care enough to read all this garbage, and the least you can do is make it short enough to be courteous.
 * 13) I don't like how Gotek says he is so good at making banners. Have some humility, and let others be the judges. I, for one, see them as very simple mismashings, akin to the level of quality that cooltext produces. Which isn't all that impressive.
 * 14) After what seems like an eternity to get to, the bottom of the page has a short list of his stories. That should be at the top. Nobody will read through all the bullshit of what Gotek's favorite bands are and his favorite letters just to find his stories. Nope, we'll give up. If I wasn't reviewing, I wouldn't have gotten this far, bottom line.
 * 15) The guestbook idea incredibly inane.

Final Thoughts: I would never make a user page like this. The only thing I see here is a blowhard.

Final Grade: 0.1/10

User:TeamUnitedNerds
Pros
 * 1) Ranked 9th. Nice!
 * 2) The favorite characters section is nice. Giving explanations and reasonings helps me understand better why they are there, as opposed to when other users simply throw together a hackneyed, unsupported list.
 * 3) Most of the quotes are pretty darn good.
 * 4) Dat sig 1.

Cons
 * 1) "I killed a Plantian. With ONE HAND! "
 * 2) The character section does need to be finished, however. Most characters do not have rightful explanations yet.
 * 3) Way too much child.
 * Eh, ghost Buu? What?
 * 1) The part about editting this myself.
 * 2) I don't see any place with a list of TUN's fan fictions other than a section solely dedicated to his ERB special.
 * 3) Wanting to punch those people in the face is not cool.
 * 4) Some of the pictures are okay, but they are all random and have no explanation for why they are there (like the picture of Link).
 * 5) Most of the other sigs, however, are not for me.
 * 6) The userpage doesn't actually have a spot that says who TUN is.

Final Thoughts: Not as bad as Gotek's or SS11's page, and it clearly has sophistication about it. I do think it lacks in the area of organization, as there is no section for the user's stories. As well, we don't get anything about TUN directly... which is kind of the point of the user page.

Final Grade: 3.1/10

User:Hyper Zergling
Pros
 * 1) Ranked 4th. Nice!
 * 2) The things I cannot stand section is the greatest thing I have ever seen.
 * 3) Super old user. 2009! Wow!
 * 4) <3 sig 1.
 * 5) Sig 4 is hawt.

Cons
 * 1) "I am through with standin' in line to clubs I'll never get in; I'm at the bottom of the ninth and I'm never gonna win..." what is this i dont even
 * 2) Occupation - wikia admin. Srsly?
 * 3) I wouldn't put a picture of myself like the type that was put for sig 2 and the infobox.
 * 4) Sig 2 has a youtube video on it that makes it look messy and bad. I also don't get the blue/yellow combo.
 * 5) Sig 3's quote.
 * 6) I don't see why there needs to be two sigs for banning. It's like Hyper's obsessed with all that.
 * 7) I think the second ban sig should be extended a few miliseconds. It's so fast that it makes my eyes hurt.
 * 8) No space alloted for Hyper Zergling's fanons.

Final Thoughts: 99% of this page is sigs.

Final Grade: 5.0/10

Bardock the King
Pros


 * 1) I like Bardock's internal struggle with trying to be a good person while at the same time wanting to kill Frieza, even if it lacks some subtleties.
 * 2) Bardock is very much in character.
 * 3) "There was no light in his mind" is my favorite piece of writing in this fic so far.
 * 4) I like how the relevance of Bardock's crew is kept.
 * 5) I very much like that Bardock didn't go Super Saiyan at the end. A lesser writer would have done so, and it takes great care to hold restraint at that point.
 * 6) Bardock's rage at the end of the chapter is well written.

Cons


 * 1) Some hasty grammar mistakes are present, such as "Bardocks". Also, Saiyans should be capitalized, and occassionally words are misspelled (such as "mercyless" instead of "merciless").
 * 2) Many of the sentences sound awkward, such as "It was a fire, which consummed him and seared his flesh, but was followed by vision of a future he wished he could live until." I understand exactly what it is saying, but the structure is cumbersome and unnecessary. I think the writing is wordier than it needs to be.
 * 3) Also, Bardock knowing that Goku would kill Frieza is fine, but I do think he would be frustrated, not happy that he was dead. A bit of anger here would be good for his character.
 * 4) There is a lack of buildup in Bardock's questioning his own morality.
 * 5) I don't think there would ever be an instance where Bardock had killed a father and let the son live, you know, because Bardock's almost exclusively cleared planets, as in killing everyone. So, I would offer up that that sentence about sons crying over their fathers be changed to something that says how Bardock would then kill the sons too, because he did. The current wording implies that he did not.
 * 6) "He was confused and lost and on the near verge of losing his mind right there." - Very awkward sentence, in my opinion.
 * 7) In the final paragraph, there is very little flow between sentences. Also, I do not recommend starting two sentences with "But" very close to each other (only a sentence apart). Such a thing is hard to read.

Closing Thoughts: Bardock the King ebbs and flows in quality. Sometimes, the writing is great, sometimes it's not even remotely good, sometimes it's average. Between the high and low notes of the writing itself, the plot intrigues me. The story is, first and foremost, character driven. That is sorely needed on this site, where mindless fights and illogical transformations plague almost every story. What TeamUnitedNerds is doing here is creating something that is real, based off real emotions, to lead to a real, impacting story. There is plenty of room for the writer to get better, and my main two cons are that it needs to be proofread more (spelling and grammar errors should never be present in a story) and there needs to be more less of trying to impress the writer with big words and eloquent sentences, because often those sentences are not eloquent. Once those are fixed, I do think the rest of the story could be great.

Final Grade: C

Dragon Ball: The Lost Episodes
Note: I am individually reviewing each story below

A Day In Pilaf's Eyes
Pros
 * 1) None.

Cons
 * 1) No paragraph separation for dialogue.
 * 2) Several grammar errors.
 * 3) 47 dishes cost ~$5? Yeah, no.
 * 4) The writing style is rushed and borderline unreadable.
 * 5) I don't like how hard it is to understand what is happening.
 * 6) Some of the dialogue doesn't match up, particularly Goku's.
 * 7) The defeat of Pilaf was too quick to be entertaining.

Final Thoughts: A rushed fic that barely gained any momentum before it was over. The confusing writing style hindered it greatly as well.

Final Grade: E-

GOKU!!!
Pros
 * 1) None.

Cons
 * 1) Fuck. Upa.
 * 2) Goku is completely out of character.
 * 3) The writing style is confusing and hard to follow.
 * 4) There needs to be paragraph separation when you do new dialogue.
 * 5) Goku choking Bulma was not cool.
 * 6) Overall, like the last one, this is so random and so rushed I can't even focus on what is going on.

Final Thoughts: Like the last, there was nothing any good about this story.

Final Grade: E-

Tien's Wish
Pros
 * 1) None.

Cons
 * 1) Tien wouldn't use a tri-beam on Chiaotzu.
 * 2) Roshi randomly battling someone...
 * 3) Doesn't say when this takes place.
 * 4) Roshi is OOC.
 * 5) Roshi dying breaks canon.
 * 6) The search for the dragon balls is lackluster and rushed.
 * 7) General Blue shouldn't be alive...
 * 8) And of course you kill him which breaks canon again.

Final Thoughts: Poorly written and inconceivably done. I don't know how something can be so random.

Final Grade: E-

Misc. Thoughts:

 * The single best scene so far that I have read is Frieza/Cooler learning about the birds and the bees in the fan fiction REDACTED. Quite frankly, it's legendary.
 *  My favorite story thus far is Tien: Origins. My least favorite is Dragonball Unlimated. 
 * I have not yet found a story worthy of any of the three S ranks. My favorite story currently, Tien Origins, is merely an A+.
 * The most common rating is E- (or R- for comedic stories), which is the worst.
 * Most people who cannot write a decent story can also not make decent reviews.
 * The most pros I have ever given in a single review is 44, on my review of the User:KidVegeta page.
 * A story with good writing and a poor plot is no better than a story with poor writing and a good plot.


 * My Top 5 favorite stories are, as follows:
 * Tien: Origins
 * Depiction in Red
 * A Front
 * Why Bother?
 * Dragon Ball ST: Origins of Serroli

Stories To Be Reviewed
(These are sorted in priority from highest to lowest, but I may review any fic on this list in any order I wish)
 * Some good CP by NomadMusik
 * Dragon Ball Z AT by Constinet gr
 * Dragon Ball: Saiyan Reunion by Matrixpretty
 * Dragon Ball Z: Rising Moon by Tsukune sendo
 * Dragon Ball: Legacy of Frieza by Zeon1
 * Dragon Ball Z: Masters of Battle by Zeon1
 * If Only You Knew by Destructivedisk
 * The Terror Of the Androids by Nimbus.69
 * Future Panisa by Nimbus.69
 * Xiros by TeamUnitedNerds
 * King Blank by TeamUnitedNerds
 * One by Destructivedisk
 * Dragonball xxvvzzz by 90.194.58.110
 * Dragon ball battle for justcice update by 108.84.241.129
 * Dragon Ball Z: The Lost Book by Lau the G
 * WaffleMinifigure by WaffleMinifigure
 * Dragonball V by Supersaiyian11
 * What is this I don't even... why's it so long by I have no idea who
 * Dragon Ball: GT

Revamp reviews:
 * Finish AP