Fin

Kumbaya makes me get violent. He knew he had to keep very still while he waited;

Time and time again, Salza found himself eating space snails. He loved space snails. Space snails were gooey and salty and he loved athem.It made him feel like a man from Space France, because people from Space France absolutely loved eating Space Nails - or, as they called it, l’escargo de l’espace. He liked sucking them out of their snails because they were delicious that way. He also loved sucking penises out of their shells, because he was literally in fifth grade and found that type of stuff funny.

Salza let the grease run down his chin into his beaty laitle. He liked to be a trickster and steal some snails from Cooler’s imperial lunch service. He liked cans of brick jdtu worms. Salza liked the squish squish of the squishers in his pocket. It made his leotard get real tight. One time he stuffed 20 snails in there and ate them at night and his stomach got so big a space gopher began to sleep on it like it was a hill at night. Saza liked his warmth and it was great beceause the gopher had these small little round shits that were nice and sweet to eat. Just then Jeice entered the room and he was as orange as a sunday afternoon beach.

The two knew each other from police academy. Jeice had been the no-nonsense, rugged, rough cop who hated everything except for those few people that he could trust. Salsa had been the cop who was open to all - too open, pehaps. How could they have gotten exposed to that much cadmium, after all? They were the two strongest beings of their species, thanks to the many years they had spent serving the force. They had captured so many criminals that it wasn’t even that funny, but they had done it separately. And nothing was going to bring them back together now. But even as Salza ate a bunch of space snails, he knew it wasn’t over. When it came to Jeice, it was never over. It was always there - Jeice was like Salza’s shadow, there even if he didn’t want him to be. There was no escaping him. Even when Salza tried to staple his shadow to the ground, there was no way to get him to leave. Once Salza even tries to glue his shadow to the ground, but it didn’t work. He didn’t even really understand how shadows worked if he was going to be honest, they were just always there, like the fucking mexicans. There was no way to get rid of them, no matter what he did. No amount of adhesive tape could change that.

“Cap’n Ginyu? Cap’n Ginyu, Cap’n Ginyu, Cap’n Ginyu. Cap’n Ginyu. Cap’n Ginyu, Cap’n Ginyu… Cap’n Ginyu? Cap’n Ginyu.” Jeice spoke with a nice space Australian accent that tickled Salza in his three pancreases.

“What are you talking about now homeboy?” Salza asked. He sipped on snails and was getting lightheaded.

“Cap’n Ginyu. Cap’n Ginyu, Cap’n Ginyu!”

“So you’re here about that. Of course you are.” Salza stood up. “Well if you want the pictures, you have to beat me… Salza, leader of the Armored Squadron first!” He whipped his hair back and forth, did a cartwheel and landed right on his face. At that moment, a small balding Chinese man came running over, yelling ‘Cartwheel, Cartwheel… table four!’. Salza felt his face and stood up, frowning. “Damn… I am a pretty French Space Alien!” he yelled angrily.

“Cap’n Ginyu’s got a hot body!!” Jeice yelled, crikeyly. He clearly had it hard for Captain Ginyu, regardless of the form that the purple space alien took on. And with good reason, too. Captain Ginyu was the sexiest purple space alien this side of space, regardless of the form he took on. Jeice hoped that, one day, he would take on the form of Space Megan Fox, so that Jeice could jerk off to the thought like three times a day or something. Honestly, if I had the powers that Captain Ginyu had, I would do the same thing. And I would just stand in front of the mirror and masturbatore all day long while in my super hot movie star body. After all, I’ve alyways wanyed to know what the female orgasm was like. When I cum, it’s just like a normal part of my day and it’s not really unusal at all. But when a girl cums, it likes she goes all the way from the moon and back and experiences something completely out of this world. It seems completely unlike anything a man could experience. And if I was a super hot movie star experiencing that for the first time while looking in the mirror, it would be so hot that I would probably want to masturbate too. But I wouldn’t be able to masturbate, really, because I would be a girl, and girls can’t really masturbate. Even though the clitoris is basically just an underdeveloped baby penis, it apparently hurts too much if you rub it too much, according to my girlfriend. And that’s gay as fuck. If I were Captain Ginyu I would switch bodies with Jeice and make love while using his ejaculator fluids as my lubricant, because that’s all we really want, when you get down to it. We all need that in our lives.

“Cap’n Ginyu,” said jeice.

“You’re a nice slab of met” expilnad salza i love ur bod.

“Hot bod, hot bod,” agreed Mr. Dan Hanzus

But you haven’t seen that sweet ginyu real bod

“No real gunyu what i want”

“Ok ihave pics he was in the shower”

“Hot did he use shampoo as lube”

“No space australian cretin he that would burn his beautiful purple urethra”

“Whats his real bod look like i have to know. Burter said he heard mrudls that if houls plike at it it will make you cum like a blue hurrican!!!”

“My hurrians are purple thank you very much and i like ‘em salty like a nice escargo french word with the l’something”

“I want the cap’n ginyulovely body ok, says jeice.”

“Fat cnace and no pln, etc.”

“But you have pics show pics”

“I promised i would never share these”

“Ok upload them to the thread “pics u swore ud never shre”

“That sounds reasonable says Salza. He licks his lips and eats more snails. They areso good all slimy. He loves the sliey salty feeling slidingd own his toat.

“But we have to go on a quest. Remember the old cop days,” asked jeice. Back when we got dirty”

“I do not want tobed irty im notcie french alien,” snapped salza

“Mate, I’m clankin’ for some action.”

“Up your arsenal amirite.”

“Nah brah, get in my foreskin.”

So salza shrunk down into jeices foreskin and got aquakineted with his jeice juce. Juecie jucie nice and hot and sticky. It reminds salza of nice slugs he licks inside jeices foreskin but oh no! Suddenly the orange pitchfork began to grow longer and the foreskin pulls back! How will they complete the journey to the nude photos on 4chan now?!

There was nothing left inside. He was a member of the Ginyu Force. He’d trained all his life to be something, he thought. He’d almost become a legend. They bitched and whined that Pablo Honey was the worst. They wasted their oxygen like suckling synthenoids.

His name was not worth remembering. He huddled over his cards, cold as a rapacious space piriate. There were thousands - millions - like him, and there was nothing to be done. Jeice threw himself from Salza’s erect penis. This was a rocky world, a desolation of grey and brown and black. None of it mattered. The words fell from Jeice like sweat. He was ready.

Jeice had once thought this worth remembering.

“This is killing me!” said the alien in despair.

Jeice blasted him away without a second thought.

Cold were the winds of that world, as suffocating as winter. Once he’d been special; once he’d been worth it. Jeice shivered. The cold embrace coated him like platinum armor. “Salza, you were special,” he muttered, fondling himself. “I enjoyed being wrapped in your warm foreskin.”

It was no matter. The winds howled in response, as feral as Grendel in peak desire. There was nothing to be done. His arm was torn asunder, a veritable battle-paw like those of the days of yore. I wish I was special. Dreams are dust. And humans are petty, vile creatures. Jeice blew them away. He destroyed that rock, casting stones asunder, molten iron and cadmium. There had been a time he had felt something.

Decay is inevitable; everything goes away. In the distance, the Ginyu Force member beheld a white light, emanating with vain energy. It was not yet time. He dared not get closer. He was too tired. This is nonsense, they cried, pounding in his head like a worn drum. It wasn’t supposed to end this way.

“We are the same species,” he cried, “I wanted to knowyou. I wanted you to think I was worth knowing.”

Salza dissolved into dust. That’s all he was worth.

You are nothing. You mean nothing.

Jeice felt a burning sensation at the back of his throat, like when he ate licorice. But he hadn’t been hungry for a while. Salza disappeared into the void, as sudden as a breath of air. One moment he was there; the next, Jeice had never known him.

Next to Jeice, the Asian with a sparkling earring muttered, “Bullshit. This fucking sucks. I feel nothing.”

It was a sudden realization, cold as sleet. “They are born, and they die,” murmured Jeice’s old teacher, the words echoing through his mind. “Conscious as a king.” That made the blow all the more difficult to withstand.

“I thought-” Jeice began.

“No…” came the whisper, across the barren darkness, “He’s eager to please.”

Salza was thirty feet tall if he was a foot. He was a giant amongst men. No one knows why he was so tall, why he was naked, why he was aroused. Acid it was to Jeice’s mind, like bleach to a ruin. He shot a ki blast, then two, then fifty. His desperation was pathetic. He tried, failed, and fell to the dust, which greeted him like family.

“I have no one! I’m alone!” Jeice pleaded, wishing to climb back upon Salza’s throbbing cock. That was far too lewd a gesture. Jeice burned; he dissipated like fractured light.

There was the entire world - barren and rocky, a skirling wind calling lonesomely through the mountains and canyons. No answer came in response. Jeice wanted to climb back on, to feel the warmth of that foreskin of his species-brother. He wanted that so bad.

It blocked out the sun. He tasted blood. That was right. Salza recoiled as he cringed, and turned his eyes from that forsaken world. Bright and warm, it greeted him, and he could not look away, for all he was worth.