User blog comment:Destructivedisk/D-Disk Reviews/@comment-3000576-20110110021350/@comment-3122168-20110110021857

My biggest problem was that there was no clear set-up or explanation. It was just like, "He's in hell, he's sucking people up, now he's near Trunks, now Babidi and Dabura are here". It didn't seem to be very...coherent. I simply feel that you need to explain your story better, if that helps.

As for the swearing, by having the one swear at the beginning it makes it seem as though the entire story was just full of swearing, thus giving the reader a false impression.