User blog comment:Nobody700/DRAGON BALL HSN Q/A/@comment-3203286-20130913000605

Let's see... grammar wise, a lot to work on. Sometimes your sentances don't have the important words in them - as in "Maybe this when the training starts."

As for story, I've read worse. I don't remember much about DB, given that I read the manga a few years ago and I never watched the anime, but there doesn't seem to be as much screaming, so that's a good thing.

Story pacing and character development seem balanced. Perhaps a few more perspectives (for example, the commentator at the fights view) would make it a bit more interesting.

That's all I got. Don't read much fanfic, but comparing this to the best and worst of what I've seen, I'd give this maybe a 7/10. On a logarythmic scale.