User blog:Destructivedisk/D-Disk Reviews

As many of you may remember, I long ago did a humorous review column called Destructivedisk Reviews. However, I got bored with that and am now going to do a genuine review blog in celebration of my edit count reaching 12^3. So, request your fics or just general fics and I'll try to review them!

If there is ever a story, be it good or bad, that I feel I need more than pros and cons to review it, I will review it in pargraph form rather than list form. However, such a review will be rare, as I am usually able to articulate my opinion sufficiently in just pros and cons.

My review scale goes by letters and such. It's like this:

X+ = Perfect

X = Incredible

X- = Fantastic

A+ = Great

A = Pretty Good

A- = Good

B+ = Above Average

B = Average

B- = Below Average

Q+ = Bad

Q = Pretty Bad

Q- = Very Bad

D+ = Terrible

D = Very Terrible

D- = Horrid

F+ = Very Horrid

F = Horrible

F- = Very Horrible

F-- and below = The culmination of all that is horrible in the universe; this is the epitome of horrible

Pros

 * Tien is a major character

Cons
Closing Comments: This fic is attrocious.
 * Terrible writing
 * Unbelievably unoriginal story. Half the plot is a rip-off of Dragon Ball Z.
 * Goku/Shenron training is horribly executed
 * Dragon Goku

Five-word summary: A horrible, trash heap fanon.

Rating = F-

Pros

 * Story is original
 * Characters are pretty consistent with canon personality
 * Cool title

Cons
Closing Comments: Interesting premise, but needs quite a bit of clarification.
 * Writing style is just strange
 * Swearing seems superflous
 * I really have no idea what's going on.

Five-word summary: Hard to understand yet interesting.

Rating = F-

Pros

 * Solid writing
 * Nice prose
 * Interesting

Cons
Closing Comments: Short, but sweet thus far.
 * Alternate Universe
 * Not very developed, so I don't know where the story is going

Five-word summary: Too short to really review.

Rating = I can't honestly give it a rating with this little revealed

Pros

 * Solid writing


 * All the Z Fighters do fight, although most are ineffective


 * No characters are glorified


 * Solid action scenes


 * All around enjoyable
 * Character Development for existing characters is good
 * Tien plays a nice role near the end
 * Villains are great

Cons

 * Lots of overpowering


 * Super Saiyan 5 and 6


 * (Relatively) Unoriginal


 * Krillin's the only one who actually gets injured badly


 * Gohan's a SSJ3


 * Far too much indirect dialog earlier on


 * Logical Fallacies
 * The story can be inconsistent at time, such as Krillin getting injured but later fighting
 * If you count Yajirobe as a Z Fighter, then he is quite OOC. I dislike that he is the only one to not fight.
 * Inconcclusive ending
 * The appearance of Bardock and King Vegeta makes little to no sense.

Closing comments: Although entertaining, this fic is greatly overrated and has quite a few large flaws.

Five-word summary: Strong diversity of pros/cons.

Rating = Q+

Pros

 * Writing is decent


 * Works with canon

Cons

 * Fight scenes are terrible


 * Goray is a terrible, terrible Gary-Stu.


 * Using Broly as a villain is unoriginal


 * Sagas are too short


 * Too much reliance upon Super Saiyan and RoSaT

Closing comments: Largely flawed.

Five-word summary: Needs work, but shows promise.

Rating == D+

Pros

 * Grammar, spelling, and grammar are above par


 * Theme songs are good, 'specially Weezer


 * The addition of pictures makes it look better


 * The humor does help to dull out zsome of the boredom


 * Kudos to you for taking my advice and shortening the paragraph size

Cons

 * Humor is excessive and overly silly


 * How did the army get their hands on Brly's DNA?


 * Broly jr. is a somewhat unoriginal character


 * Broly jr. is a Gary-Stu


 * Overuse of parentheses in dialog


 * Brolia, all about her


 * Story quickly strays away from the rest of the Z Fighters and focuses only on Broly Jr., which made me lose interest


 * Captions are random


 * The whole "secret agent " thing is just strange and does not work in Dragon Ball.

Closing comments: Decent, but with a great many flaws.

Five-word summary: Interesting premise without solid execution.

Rating: D+

Pros

 * Nonexistent

Cons

 * The entire plot is ridiculous


 * How is Cell weaker than Frieza?


 * The conept of all the Namekians fusing is ridiculous, and even if they did do such a thing it wouldn't result in someone so powerful. you have to remember that there were only 100 Namekians and that the strongest one had a power level of only 42,000.


 * All the characters are super OOC.


 * Gomeko


 * All the crap with Janemba at the end.


 * It's the biggest abomination I've ever read.


 * Super Nameko looking like the freaking Hulk.


 * There are random and meaningless pictures.


 * The fight scenes are boring and super unoriginal.


 * Everything about it.

Closing comments: It's terrible. It makes me want to stab myself in the eyes over and over again.

Five-word summary: Nothing much good to say.

Rating: F-

Pros

 * In comparison to many SS11 stories, this story has decent grammar in the beginning. With that said, the grammar is still subpar.

Cons

 * No clear explanation for Goku/Piccolo fusion


 * No clear explanation for the Omega Shenron/King Piccolo/Other random guy fusion


 * Logically, King Piccolo would be useless in a fusion between two people that much stronger than him


 * A 7-way fusion? WTF?


 * Hero is the worst character ever devised. Ever.


 * Scratch that. Hero Kai is far worse.


 * "Krillan" defusing and then getting blown up. That made little to no sense.


 * Krillin would not have a large impact on the Hero Kai fusion, simply because he is far weaker than all the other fusees.


 * Story ends too abruptly.

Closing comments: Terrible. Terrible. One of the worst stories ever made.

Five-word summary: Badly thought out and unreadable.

Ranking: F-

Pros

 * I really like the premise of the story.


 * The mechanics are, in general, very good.


 * The similarities to early Dragon Ball is a great choice. I like that.


 * The different parts of the story, which are told from different characters, is an interesting choice.

Cons

 * Even if the mechanics are good, the writing is not good. The description is very plain and the vocabuary is rudimentary.


 * Tombstone Blue is simply not good for the first antagonist.


 * The fanon characters are very poorly developed and plain.


 * Nash is turning into something of a Gary-Stu.


 * The fight with Tombstone Blue is underwhelming.


 * Godom knocking Buu down is unrealistic.

Closing comments: Meh.

Five-word summary: Stunningly average at its best.

Rating: D+

Pros

 * The mechanics are fairly good.


 * Great diction.


 * Fairly original plot.


 * Battles are detailed.


 * The linking to the attacks is a great touch, although the occasional red link is irritating.

Cons

 * The sentence flow is very akward. The overuse of large words makes for some highly akward sentences. For example, "Chaiva was stunned. She had never seen Cuber’s true power before and now cursed at her comparable frailty." just reads terribly.


 * The formatting is strange. You have a bunch of short, choppy sentences of dialog, and then a block of text dedicated to a fight.


 * Many of the early fights and events are entirely inconsequential.


 * The story can be hard to follow.


 * There is little to no emotion in the writing. It's very plain.


 * Too rarely updated. I mean, you've had it for a while now, and you still haven't finished the first saga.

Closing comments: One of the top fanons on the site, but still with some glaring flaws.

Five-word summary: Somewhat boring, but well-done story.

Final ranking: B+

Pros

 * Utterly spectacular writing


 * Incredible character development


 * One of the most original stories, well, ever


 * The author developed a point in the timeline previously unseen


 * Some excellent impressionism of Tolkien


 * Nice Star Trek reference near the end


 * The scene where Buu owns the candy guy is one of the finest scenes on the wiki


 * The concluding poem is a masterpiece.

Cons

 * Although intentional, the verbosity can get tiresome and unclear


 * It seemed a bit inconclusive near the end, what with everything going back to the way it was before


 * You don't explain what happens to Baba, Babidi, and Goku

Closing comments: No significant flaws. Truly a magnum opus. I tip my hat to KidVegeta.

Five-word summary: An utterly unbeatable, grande story.

Rating: X+

Pros

 * It is about Krillin


 * Develops an unexpanded place in the timeline


 * Fantastic writing, spelling, grammar, etc.


 * The story is actually interesting


 * I like the idea of Krillin having better technique but lesser ability; somewhat reminds me of an old IP page


 * The psychological aspect is impressive

Cons

 * To me, and maybe this is a bit contradictory of canon, but it seems unlikely that a temple would be completely focused upon fighitng

Closing comments: Perhaps this is in part due to my fanboyisms, but I prefer this to other acclaimed works like TF, ST, and TMT. Nice job for a first story, Brady Patrick!

Five-word summary: Well-written, engaging, and genuinely entertaining.

Overall rating == A+

question: is Sixth a reference to the dots on Krillin's head?

Pros

 * Excellent writing


 * Interesting concept


 * I like the way that at one moment, Chi-Chi is super sad emo person, but the next she portrays herself as happy-go-lucky mom. That abrupt shift in personality reminds me of Mr. Jaggers, in Great Expectations, and I very much do like it.

Cons

 * While this seems like it should have been a psychological type fanon, it instead came off as a gory blood fest. The blood fest isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I would've like a bit more introspect into her character rather than her cutting.


 * The dialog, to me, seems a bit strange, as though the author felt uncomfortable writing it.


 * Even for a one-shot, it is definitely on the short side; the actual story is only 550 words. Just my opinion here.


 * Her actions seem mildly out of universe. As one fanfic author has said, "Even though you and your friends cut your wrists, doesn't mean that Harry Potter does." This definitely rings true here, where it doesn't seem like something a character in Dragon Ball would do.

Closing Comments: I don't quite understand what people are gushing about with this story. It certainly has positive values, but it isn't really a standout story. With that said, it does certainly show signs of talent.

Five-word summary: Unbelievable, but shows great promise.

Rating: B

Pros

 * Typically solid grammar and spelling, although there are problems.


 * Okay writing i.e. good writing and whatnot.


 * Well detailed.


 * I like the small bits of humour sprinkled throughout, but most of the time it falls flat.

Cons

 * It's very hard to understand. Nigh incoherent.


 * Fanon characters are introduced without any backstory or explanation; they just exist


 * Story moves too quickly.


 * Super Buu shouldn't want peace, nor should he exist


 * 600,000 is actually high for a normal super Saiyan, as beforehand the strongest saiyan was around 12,000.


 * There's no plot, just fighting.


 * The plot progresses very jerkily.


 * Axurion is not my favorite fighter.


 * Huge, and I mean huge, blocks of text.


 * Why are these random fanon characters so strong?


 * Oh random fusion wonderful


 * Super Saiyan 5... great.


 * Super Buu eating emotions... wtf.


 * Auxurillon being more powerful than everbody is ridiculous.


 * Randomly going to Namek.


 * Bad power levels.


 * Chapter 4 makes little to no sense.


 * Terrible, terrible formatting.


 * Neo Super Saiyan is silly altogether.


 * Horrible overuse of commas


 * End of chapter 4 is just incomprehensible.

Closing comments: This is absolutely horrible. I don't know what's going on. It's just a random string of unexplained events. It shows little promise.

Five-word summary: Incomprehensible, boring, and generally unreadable.

Rating: F-

Pros

 * Great detail, great writing, great mechanics, etc.
 * Nice subtle reference to Guldo
 * I liked the way you revealed PV's name; it had a lead-up to it. That was nice.
 * The story is certainly refreshingly subtle as a whole.
 * Yeah, it gives great insight into his character, it's reflective in an innovative way, all that stuff.
 * The amount of emotion given, and in such a vivid way, is incredible.

Cons

 * Because the entire fanon is set in a fanonical place, in an unknown point in the timeline, under an unknown scenario etc. it makes it a little hard to tell what is going on in the fanon. It's harde to care for a character whose notable character traits seldom come up and when there is little allusion to who his character is.
 * It's extremely hard to tell why PV is writhing about to begin with. It would have worked better had you given more clear reasons and given them earlier on, as it would help with sympathizing.

Closing Comments: While certainly a great fic with great introspect, it would have benefited from better organization to some extent and for some more explanation. It didn't need to be blatant, it just needed to be clear enough for one to read it and at least gain a rudimentary understanding of the motivations and situation of PV.

Five-word summary: Incredible story, but lacks organization.

Rating: A

Pros

 * The writing is really quite good


 * I like the idea of the watchkeepers being powerless and Piccolo being the one to truly enforce hell


 * The idea of Frieza and Piccolo being far apart but still kinda having a verbal war is really wuite interesting, and I genuinely do like it


 * The middle of chapter 2, with the light growing from the book and whatnot, actually struck me as being quite epic


 * I like how ambiguous you keep the events of the story; it makes the tale seem far more epic


 * The story is very interesting, to say the least


 * Mace is a cool villain, although I hope to see him expanded on


 * The story as a whole is really quite suspenseful. I like the dramatic speech from Mace at the end of chapter 3.

Cons

 * Occasional misspellings, such as bowels as boughs or unbeknownst and unbenounced, but these are small enough to not impact reading too much


 * Strange usages of commas in some places makes for choppy reading


 * King Cold and Frieza are somewhat OOC, as their dialog is a bit too sophisticated, even for the elegant characters


 * The use of synonyms at times seems very akward


 * Writing can be vague and akward at times


 * They really should be calling him Piccolo, not the Green Man


 * Piccolo shouldn't have been able to so much as fight the likes of Cell and Dabura.


 * Dr. Gero's speech, although epic, was horribly OOC


 * The paragraphs can get to be a little bit long


 * King Kai is OOC, as his speech is too elegant


 * The story really could've used more buildup.


 * The dialog formatting is off; you should make a new paragraph for each line of dialog

Closing commets: This is a great story which shows definite signs of promise. The writing is great, the story interesting, the premise unique... I must say, this is really a refreshingly decent story. With that said, some aspects of the tale are still in need of expansion. I wish you the best of luck in continuing this fanon.
 * The story can be somewhat cliche.

Five-word summary: Flawed in places, yet engaging.

Rating: B+

Pros

 * The writing is, to some degree, halfway decent.

Cons

 * Very cheesy writing


 * Terrible dialog


 * Random capitalizaion


 * The explanation for "Android 19" is one of the most laughable things I have ever read.


 * No, the bigger the number, the weaker they are. Hence why 18 is stronger than 19.


 * Everything, yes everything, about the scene with Colonol Gold and Major Gray.


 * None of the crap between Gero and Goku ever happened in the manga or anime.


 * Improper dialog formatting.


 * Even more bad dialog! I kid you not, that is among the worst dialog I have ever read.


 * All the stupid crap with Dr. Briefs.


 * Wow, the DNA collecting scene was horrid. The humour, the description, everything, it was all really bad.


 * The entire last chapter. Yes all of it. It was genuinely that bad.

Closing comments: The author clearly put very little effort into the fanon. The story was uninspired, to say the least, and altogether unsatisfying. I don't honestly think there was any point in writing or reading the fanon, and it is precisely why I never liked the idea of a fic like this to begin with. It had no purpose in being written, so far as I am concerned.

Five-word summary: Uninspired, pointless, and wholly bad.

Rating: D-

Pros

 * I mean, to some extent the story is believable, as in the events could potentially happen, at least in the beginning.


 * Fight scenes weren't terrible

Cons

 * Pod should not be capitalized


 * Very cheesy dialog


 * A Saiyan's powerful should not be 36,500. That is utterly nonsensical.


 * Very cheesy names, such as Zucini


 * King Vegeta OOC


 * Improper formatting


 * Oh dear, the first half of chapter 2 is just an incoherent mess of bad dialog and people trying to talk to eachother

That simply makes no sense, at all.
 * "When 3 Assexians attacked Toma at the same time, even the elite of elites could not win. "Hh..h.. Just a little more!" Toma muttered. "Darn those clouds. I'll have to do this myself! *Turns on the comunicator on scouter* King Vegeta! I'm very shamed to talk to you in the middle of fight, but we seriously need some back-up here! Anyone, low-class or an elite, we need more men! Asssexians are strong, but if we conquer them we'll get their technology and weapons which could make us even stronger than lord Frieza!" said Toma."


 * Last part of chapter 3 is just bad. It's just horrible.


 * There's some very bad blocks of text in the story. Learn to use the enter key.


 * Oh my god, this writing is bad.


 * Great Apes. Now that's a Deus Ex Machina.


 * Seriously, wtf am I reading


 * I like the fact that they were shown to have a lower power level and then they were automatically defeated. Or something like that. I stopped being able to follow this fanon a while ago.

Closing comments: This is a very bad, nigh incomprehensible fic. To be frank, there isn't very much that's good about it, as it's virtually unreadable. I'm glad to see that the writer has improved since writing it.

Five-word summary: Monotonous, stupid, ridiculous, and pointless.

Rating: F

Pros

 * Ha! That's a good one!

Cons

 * His meeting of Tang has no elaboration whatsoever, which makes the entire event implausible.


 * Question: who is Dimino the son of? I'm assuming Goku, but that doesn't really make sense because Chi-Chi would be infertile by the time of Z. If he is Tang's son, WHY IS HE ABLE TO GO SUPER SAIYAN?


 * Broly is dead. Why/how is he returning?


 * Oh, mecha Broly. That's an automatic con right there.


 * TANG. SHOULD. NOT. BE. A. SUPER. SAIYAN. (4.), especially not without explanation.


 * They would not waste their energy fighting prior to Broly's arrival.


 * Horrible dialog.


 * No buildup whatsoever.


 * Vegeta's death is completely meaningless.


 * Everyone is OOC.


 * Tang just punched Broly in the face. Yes, really, that's how the conflict is resolved. What type of story is this?


 * Ultra Super Saiyan 4. GTFO.


 * Tang and Dimino are both horrid Gary-Stus.


 * More random death, this time of Gohan and Trunks. You really don't understand how to include drama in a story.


 * There is an apostrophe before every s. This is highly infuriating.


 * Learn to put spaces after each comma and period.


 * You need a full moon to go Great Ape. You provide no such thing. Nor has it even been explained why they are saiyans to begin with. Furthermore, it is altogether implausible to think that they would not remove Dimino's tail.


 * Of course Dimino has a random, previously non-aforementioned girlfried who calms him down and makes him a Super Saiyan 4.


 * Broly becoming a gray Super Saiyan 4 is utterly preposterous.


 * Dimino becomes a Super Saiyan 5 simply because his daddy was almost killed. That's bloody bull right there.


 * Completely inexplicable Ultra Dragon for no goddamned reason whatsoever who randomly revives everyone who has died after standing around for 10 minutes, doing nothing. "All the sudden the sky turned dark and a new dragon came,his name is ultra dragon.10 min's later the dragon went away,and in a instant Goku,Trunk's,Vegeta,and Gohan came back." Seriously, what is that?


 * The fic, like all too many others, ended the exact same way that it began, with nothing being accomplished.

Closing comments: You might as well rename this fanon "Tang and Dimino: The New Gods". The fanon was meaningless, stupid, and had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. This was a horrible fanon in all ways imaginable.

Five-word summary: A fic best gone unread.

Rating: F-

Pros

 * The spelling and grammar is actually quite good.


 * The writing is generally clear and easy to read, which makes the page much mor readable in my opinion. It's also somewhat conversational, which I very much.


 * I like that you actually explain certain events, such as why there are always attacked. That, at least in my opinion, makes the whole thing far more believable.


 * The page is well detailed and well organized, two qualities which many pages lack.


 * The Kitrans losing their power due to technology is something which really helps to make them realistic, at least in my opinion.


 * Events generally take reasonable amounts of time.


 * Their culture reminded me of communism, which, in all honesty, isn't really a bad thing. I found your take upon that political system interesting.


 * The interesting thing about them is that they rely not upon strength but instead upon skill, which is super cool.


 * The Cyborg Kitrans are a pretty cool idea, imo. I like that they have both pros and cons, much like this page. :)

Cons

 * The writing is very juvenile, at least in my opinion, but this isn't too major a problem.


 * I'd like something of an explanation for their existance; did they evolve from protoplasmic organisms or were they created by the Kais?


 * A bit more elaboration on their evolution would be nice, since there are varying theories as to how humans evolved.


 * It seems implausible that their enemies would teach them to use ki.


 * The whole thing about their weakening blood flow doesn't make much sense, to me.


 * I think that the attacks upon their planet could use some elaboration, at least in future renditions.


 * The whole thing about rollercoasters seemed random.


 * The whole part about circulation didn't make very much sense at all.


 * The page has a very limited connection to the actual DB universe, which kind of makes it meaningless.

Closing comments: This page really did kind of spark my interest. The race is unique, detailed, and interesting. However, its lack of connection made it seem pointless, which was truly the great flaw of the page. All in all, though, this is certainly not a bad page. I hope to see the species in some type of actual fanfiction eventually, as I think that would really be quite cool.

Five-word summary: Interesting premise, yet lacks connectivity.

Rating: B-

Pros

 * Honestly, none.

Cons

 * It wasn't funny, at all.


 * Completely pointless.

Closing Comments: A humour story that was simply not funny.

Five Word Summary: I really, really hated it.

Rating: F-

User Blog:Supersaiyian11/Ss11 Reviews
(note: this is written in typical SS11 style, for comedic effect)

pros

none

cons

lieks yugioh

yugiohs lame

not good points

sS11 made it

Ss11 is lame

boring

its lame

GRade: pokemon

Pros

 * Decent spelling and grammar

Cons

 * Goku is very OOC


 * Gohan is OOC


 * Very immature subject matter


 * Far too short, even for a one-shot ((even though it would've been worse if it had gone on longer))


 * It's just not funny

Closing comments: It's simply not funny, at all.

Five Word Summary: Much worse after I came.

Rating: F-

Pros

 * The premise of the story is, quite frankly, brilliant.
 * The fact that you went to great lengths to explain all potential plot holes shows how much you wanted the story to be good.
 * It's very unique as a whole.
 * I think that, from an allegorical standpoint, the character of Timmy Gerscher works very well. He's someone we can both relate to and sympathize with, as many people on the wiki are very similar to him - most notably, mr. SS11.
 * You weave the allegory into a normal conversation brilliantly, in a way that's almost nostalgic of Goldin himself.

Cons

 * Great as the story was, it didn't hold as much interest to me as, say, The Forgotten.

Closing comments: This is not a bad story, as many have tried to say, nor is it even an average one. Allegorically, no story comes near to this fanon, which delivers a clearer message than any other story and does it with such succinctness, too. The format was also a refreshing change, one which almost carries the fanon. However, I also have to say that I don't think it was quite as interesting as some of the other more "adventure"-oriented fanons (not that it is boring either). I had a difficult time coming to a rating for this one, but I feel the grade is the most just one I can give.

Five Word Summary: Brilliantly allegorical but also unintriguing.

Rating: X-

Pros

 * It has a picture.

Cons

 * Nappa should not come back to life.


 * Vegeta should not attack Goku.


 * There should not be blue balls of a dragon-like nature.


 * You should elaborate on Vegeta's search for the blue balls.


 * Nappa should not come back to life, certainly not with a power level that high, with absolutely no explanation.


 * Vegeta OOC.

Closing Comments: This sucked.

Five word summary: Horrible, and, more importantly, incoherent.

Grade: F-

Pros

 * Including Tarble was actually interesting and somewhat unanticipated.


 * There were some unexpected twists, such as Yamcha beating Goten (but even they seem to just play to your fanboyisms)

Cons

 * The story shows a clear lack of ability, right from the beginning, to communicate anything to the reader. It's all very vague, confusing, and genuinely impenetrable.


 * Piccolo performing more fusion to become more powerful is just silly. Tien and Chiaotzu shouldn't have had any contact with Guru.


 * Very poor spelling and grammar.


 * Oh good. Another story about a tournament. That's original.


 * The characters are very over the top, until most of them are OOC.


 * Poor attempts at both humour and storytelling.


 * Goku should not be drinking beer. OOC for him.


 * Boring and hard to follow fight scenes.


 * WTF is up with Krillin and 18 having sex.


 * You're godmodding Vegeta; he shouldn't have beaten Pikkon with a single kick in base form


 * Piccolo OOC


 * Kai-O-Ken Yamcha is stupid.


 * No amount of training could ever make Yamcha beat Goten.


 * Hell Fighter 18 needs elaboration, and 18 would never fuse with a hell fighter regardless


 * Tien OOC


 * 18 OOC


 * Sometimes, a twist is nice, but when you have the underdog win every match it's no longer interesting. The only exception to this seems to be if Vegeta is fighting. I mean, seriously, you've had Chiaotzu beat Krillin, Yamcha beat Goten, and Tien beat 18. What's next? Mr. Satan will beat Buu?


 * Great, more Krillin/18 sex


 * The masked man is pointless and uninteresting


 * Tapion OOC


 * There was no winner or loser to the Piccolo/Gohan fight


 * Stupid fight between Tarble and Videl


 * The foreshadowing to the masked stranger being 17 was among the worst foreshadowing I have ever seen.


 * Why even mention a fight if you aren't going to decribe it?


 * 17 OOC


 * 17's new backstory was really bad


 * More Vegeta godmodding

Closing comments: There were very few positive aspects to this sotry, other than a few unexpected quirks. It was just a plotless story filled with battles; sadly, not even these battles were good in the slightest. I have nothing good to say about this story, really.

Five Word Summary: A plotless trainwreck of badness.

Rating: F-

Pros

 * None. Genuinely none. This fanon is absolutely awful. There's not a single redeeming quality about it.

Cons

 * Poor grammar and spelling


 * It has Yu-Gi-Oh. Yu-Gi-Oh is "lame".


 * No buildup.


 * No plot.


 * Horrible writing.


 * Goku OOC.


 * Nothing makes sense.


 * Yu-Gi-Oh should not be in DBZ.


 * Still doesn't make sense.


 * You ripped off KV's lion like a bitch.


 * Stupid time lapses, like Vegeta reaching Goku in one minute.


 * Stupidly rushed story


 * No character development.


 * If Vegeta went to Super SAiyan 2, Goku would do the same.


 * A new super saiyan form. REAL FUCKING ORIGINAL


 * Stupid explanation of Bakura being alive.


 * Stupid dialog


 * Yama OOC


 * Horrible fight between Yami and Bakura


 * Vegeta OOC


 * Long training is still lame


 * Kai-O-Ken with Super Saiyan is also lame


 * Impenetrable wording like "Bakura realises how powerful the beam is and afraid the the beam may kill Vegeta take over Vegeta like before.


 * There is no conclusion to Goku firing the "Ultra Kamehameha"


 * Bakura kills everyone too easily.


 * Have I mentioned how stupid everything is?


 * I hate this story.


 * Everything happens according to SS11's fanboyisms, rather than any logic or sense.


 * It's very cliched.


 * A Spirit Bomb. REAL FUCKING ORIGINAL


 * The part where everybody fired their signature attacks sucked.


 * Zorc is overpowered.


 * Vegeta breaks free of Bakura for no reason.


 * Oh the God Monsters fuse. WHAT A GREAT RESOLUTION*


 * The end sucks.


 * Pointless story.

Closing comments: It sucked more than a hooker with no gag reflex. I couldn't tolerate it. It's very clear to see that SS11 has not improved at all, and that he is still stay the same self-righteous trash-producer he was when he was banned. He honestly shouldn't be criticizing other stories, because, well, he has no fucking talent whatsoever.

Five word summary: Among the worst of time.

Grade: F--

Pros

 * His pros and cons are sometimes interesting to see. For example, "Prince Vegeta Saga gets a bit tedious after awhile, especially after his first mission" is something which I definitely agree with and that definitely needs to be brought to the author's attention.


 * I've always liked your T:O review. You genuinely did give your honest thoughts. I think your cons on it were very valid, and they have helped to improve as a writer, I think.


 * Unlike fellow user KidVegeta, I've always liked the number system to be used as grading. It makes it easier to quantify, for me, and it does give the blog a tint of originality.


 * Many of your perspectives on stories are interesting, such as your opinion of TMT. You've given it one of the most positive reviews on the site.


 * With stories like Unlimated, you tried to limit the review from being too long, even if it was downright plagued with problems. While it's always funny to see a huge review, it sometimes is a bit more effective at delivering a clear opinion to keep it as succinct as possible.


 * A nice review of Sixth. You very clearly articulated your thoughts on the fanon.


 * Your review of Piccolo: The Guardian of Hell was excellent. You went into both pros and cons and gave suggestions for improvement.


 * I'm glad someone told me what I had done right in YYHZ. XD


 * Another good humour review, this time for KC.


 * I think that you reviewed your own story better than most people could. You looked at it from an unbiased perspective and realized what you needed to fix. I think that your review of ST alone is enough to garner you some respect.

Cons

 * I have always felt your review of The Forgotten to be a bit off. It's a very good fanon, albeit one with flaws, and I would put it above an 8.0 myself. Your pros and cons were valid (well, for the most part), but the final rating seemed biased.


 * There are very stupid cons in the reviews sometimes, such as "Mrs. Fanshi taking Ledas in straight away; a bit creepy, if you ask me"


 * I think you overrated T:O by calling it the best DBZ fanon on all of the interwebz.


 * With the review of IR, I think that you once again underrated it. It's definitely on par with (if not better than), T:O, which you rated as better.


 * Some cons don't really make sense, like "I finished it" on the TMT review.


 * TMT was overrated somewhat, in my mind, as it is in no way better than TF.


 * With Special, I think you may have exaggerated the importance of its shortness.


 * Based on the review of DIR, I think it was rated a bit too lowly.


 * I've never liked your review of Why Bother? much. It's almost as though you didn't l;ike it, but still wanted to rate it high, which kinda makes it seem falsified.


 * Your final rating for YYHZ was silly.


 * Your review of Slaved seemed lacking, to me. You just kinda criticized the story, rather than explaining how he could improve.


 * You overrated Screwed. There's no other way to put it, it wasn't good, but you said it was above average.

Closing comments: Truth be told, I think this is one of the better review blogs out there. You generally do say something worth meaning, but some of your reviews are also very lackluster, in my opinion. I think you also produced them fairly quickly, which is another pro. In general, I do think this was a decent review blog, and certainly not a horrible one, as others have said.

Five Word Summary: Usually good; at times lackluster.

Rating: Q+

Pros

 * Decent spelling and grammar


 * I think the only moderately funny part was how Goku went out to play twice, simply because it shows him acting like a child

Cons

 * Goku OOC


 * The writing is really very boring. I know you were going for a certain type of style, but it basically sucks all the humour out of the story.


 * Horrible Gohan OOC


 * Very immature subject matter, once again


 * With The Size of IT, I could at least understand what you were trying to make seem funny. This time around, however, it just seemed like you were talking about Goku and Chi-Chi having sex while Gohan watched on a computer screen. I don't see what's funny about that.


 * I think you talked about the condoms for a bit too long. Once more, I don't see what's funny about a guy putting on a condom. I also don't see why Chi-Chi would need a condom, 'cause she's a girl and whatnot.


 * Why in bloody hell would Gohan want to watch his parents have sex? That's just weird, man.

Closing comments: I think this was slightly worse than The Size of IT, simply because The Size of IT has parts in it that could be considered funny. This has nothing. It doesn't make sense and once again has very few redeeming values.

Five Word Summary: Mundane, immature, unfunny, and unenjoyable.

Rating: F-

User blog:KidVegeta/KidVegeta's reviews
Reviews. They are of much importance on this fine wiki, given that there is no other way that we would be able how to improve our stories, or how we did in the first place. Both experienced users and complete |\|008s have made review blogs. Some have failed, and some have triumphed. However, where do the prestigious KidVegeta's reviews fall on this spectrum?

Let me say, first and foremost, that these are without a doubt the most detailed reviews on the entirety of the wiki. No other review blog on the wiki even so much as comes close to listing the same amount of cons as this blog does, and for that alone I must applaud it. All the reviews are done with obvious care in mind (save for a few earlier reviews), and they are articulated well enough to show exactly his thoughts on the fanon. Granted, on perhaps a few of his reviews, he may go into a bit too much detail or hate on aspects of the fanon without clear reason, but he generally manages to be an exceptional reviewer.

This is not meant to be taken the wrong way, but his reviews can come to be so long that the exact reason of his hatred lists can become muddied amidst the masses of cons. In his review of Unlimated, for example, he lists well over 400 cons. It is important to list each of the cons, granted, given that the writer should understand that he or she did wrong, but at the same time it does make it unclear what he hated the most. In Unlimated, the worst part was of course the grammar and spelling, but he bashes the plot so much that this could be lost to the writer. For writers such as SS11, they may come off of a review thinking their primary problem is OOC, while their real problem is actually just their shit plots.

I am not advocating that you minimize the number of cons you list; no, each con should be listed. I would, instead, suggest that you perhaps place more emphasis on the super important cons; or even, perhaps, have an entire section devoted to just listing the most importantest cons. This could help to deliver to the author what you hated the most about the story, so that nothing can get lost in the mass of cons you provide. Once again, though, all the cons are important to list. Do not misinterpret this and start placing down fewer cons just to satisfy this paragraph.

The blog also has unparalleled variety in it. No other reviews blog manages to review stories, user pages, user blogs, the creator's own stories, and even talk archives in such a seamless fashion. He also delivers the reviews at a rapid fire pace, never going and not posting for weeks on end. No matter what the content is, he always manages to find a way to review it.

Many of his reviews are among the finest on all the wiki; his reviews of "A Sprint to the Top", "HZ's Reviews", and even "Dragon Ball Z: In Requiem" are nearly perfect, and that is just scraping the bottom of the barrel. I would see very few of his reviews as bad reviews, which is damn impressive when you have almost 70 reviews to date.

At much the same time, some of his reviews are, quite frankly, not up to par. The worst review I think he has ever put out is "The Swetty Reviews". Here, I think, he was overcome by bias, going to the point where he basically just said he didn't like the reviews of his stories and therefore the blog was an E-. I know this was your first review of another review blog, but I still think you focussed a bit too much on how a few of his reviews weren't the best on the site, while for the most part his reviews were just fine. I think some of his other "bad" reviews include his review of Jello and his review of Majin Magic. I do feel you overrated both of them, as both were horrible, yet they did receive the lowest possible grade, in spite of the rest of your review.

Speaking of rankings, I do feel that the rankings are the Achilles' Heel of the review blog. The reviews are typically insightful, helpful, detailed... and then comes the rating. KidVegeta effectively just defaults to an E- whenever he has nothing else to say about a story. This makes the ratings of the fics absolutely pointless. If a fic is average, it receives an E-. If a fic is bad, it receives an E-. If a fic is very bad, it receives an E-. If a fic is downright horrible, it receives, suprise suprise, an E-. Once the alarming frequency of the E-s is considered, it becomes apparent that if a fanon is not an A or a B, it will just receive an E-. I think that occasionally using Cs and Ds might help to give the ratings a little bit more depth.

I know that much of this review has been negative; for this, I apologize. This has been my first attempt at detailed reviews, so it is no doubt unsatisfactory. However, I feel that the blog has numerous good aspects and numerous bad aspects. For the most part, though, the pros do outweigh the cons here, and, when all is said and done, I do think that this is the single best review blog on the entirety of the site. It gives valid, well articulated opinions, clear reasons, and is very well detailed. For this, I give this blog my highest commendations.

Rating: A+

Dragonball KC
Please do note that this is indeed a humour story and therefore I will be reviewing it as such.

Pros

 * Random Super Saiyan 5.


 * No spelling or grammar content whatsoever.


 * Random King Kai


 * Goku rode upon Shenron like a horse but Shenron cared naught


 * Terrible terrible Out of Character.


 * LSS5 Broly lol


 * Random Super Saiyan 6


 * Vegeta can't argue with science


 * "I AM A DEVil"


 * Broly smached him in the face


 * Gohan just got off his sunglasses


 * Random Super Gogogeta


 * All the spontaneously achieved Super Saiyan levels


 * Raditz was too weak to fuse, but King Piccolo wasn't. Haha.


 * gogogetalotanks is epic man


 * "But i have mor too right nwo".


 * Random Naruto.


 * Dende randomly goes back to Namek. That's my favorite part.


 * Goku saves the day!!! as a whole makes little to no sense.


 * Mocking Cuber's quote was hilarious


 * Oolong appearing, but not being named.


 * " then vegito went bac in the ball and no more com. " what does that even mean? hahaha


 * Random Dalas


 * Krillin's appearance was incredible.


 * "Dalas got even madder and trew his cowboy hat and broked his scooter with anger."


 * Not explaining what happened to Dalas


 * Mr. Chokon has teh ons


 * Chokon sings Pretty Boy Swag. Hahaha.


 * The song breaks their ears and then kills them. Hahaha.


 * Dende sings Magic Carpet Ride.


 * "dendy grunted. Even bulma shake then chokon ti sig sparkyrie eye goes dry he tried but it no good. one time chokon jump but then he fefll. oops he say and die." What just happened?


 * F. Trunks and Korin, aptly named the cat, randomly appear.


 * Mr. Stan somehow beats Gohan


 * Korin beating F. Trunks. Hahaha.


 * Random Frieza fight.


 * " she amd necklice for super wish 3 times mega sherron sherron is too dtridag oh and he is sparkle blue" What could that possibly mean?


 * Sorry for spelling some is a hilarious mockery of Unlimated.


 * The story is simply hilarious as a whole.


 * The last chapter is my favorite work of humour on the entirety of the wiki. The combination of incredible writing with horrible plot-work is something very pertinent to me, as I commonly write a story with a lacking plot yet exemplary writing.

Cons

 * Even if the nonsense parts are funny, it'd be nice to at least understand what was happening.


 * Chapter 9 was really very lackluster. This was the epitome of the first con, in that I couldn't really understand what was happening. Part of the fun of the story is just thinking about how horrible the plot is, and, in the last chapter, you can't really do that, because you can't understand the plot. Chapter 9 was the only chapter that I didn't laugh at, at all.


 * The story, when read as a whole, can get really tedious. It's basically just repeated nonsense. I know this is intentional, but it does make it hard to gulp the entire thing down in one sitting, despite its hilarity and short length.


 * It sort of takes away from the realism of the story when you realize that the grammar of the story recedes as the story continues. Kind of makes it an obvious trollfic.

Closing comments: This is perhaps the funniest story on the entirety of the wiki. It's so poorly written, so poorly executed... it's downright incredible.

Five-word summary: The epitome of humourous mockery.

Rating == X

Pros

 * SF manages to take a generally unbiased approach to the stories. This is, needless to say, a good thing.


 * His opinions are generally well explained. This was most apparent in his IR review, which is, IMO, one of the best reviews on the site.


 * Another excellent review was your review of Screwed. Very accurate review.


 * SS11's reviews were reviewed perfectly.


 * Your review of Goku Chronicles was perfect.


 * Your review of "The Size of IT" was spot-on. Flawless review there.


 * I think your Slaved review was excellent. It pointed out a con which I think the author needed to hear.

Cons

 * Your T:O review was not very well-explained. I would have liked some examples as to what you meant about the "redundancy" thing.


 * The blog could be updated with more frequency.


 * I would have liked a con for WB?. I do need to see how I can improve. Not trying to say you're holding back cons from me, but I think that it's always good to have a con or two, even if they are kind of shallow cons.

Closing Comments: I think that this review blog is definitely one of the best out there. He consistently manages to provide an accurate and insightful opinion. Without regard to the occasional blemish, the reviews are nearly perfect. I think that, excluding KV's reviews, this review blog is the single best one out there. And yes, I do think it is better than my own.

Five Word Summary: Valid opinions and insightful reviews.

Rating: A

Pros

 * The story is very unique, right from the beginning.


 * I think that a lot of the description is great. I really like the part where Akuno is hanging in the air and then comes down into a brave new world.


 * Great grammar, spelling, all that jazz.


 * I actually really liked the inclusion of the Radraat (or Yardrat) people. It’s something original that I’ve never really seen before.


 * Akuno and Serroli are both interesting characters. I think they can be a bit bland, but in general they’re somewhat interesting.


 * You may be going for some type of allegory with the Saiyans in regards to the wiki; if you are, then that’s awesome.


 * The Aratame parts are interesting. However, I think the connection to the normal fanon could be a bit clearer.


 * Akuno killing the servant out of anger made me laugh.


 * I think that Akuno’s creation of a second Serroli was among the high points of the fanon. I really liked that part. The detail in thought was really amazing.

Cons

 * Much of the dialog seems off, such as the professor telling the boy he is about to kill him and then asking for his name.


 * The writing is consistently awkward


 * I strongly dislike that Akuno made the new world, but has no remembrance of it.


 * The plot seems to lack coherency early on.


 * I hated the paragraph about how fancy the palace was, and despised the part about how even the highest people on the social ladder would be mere servants in the hall. It seemed so forced.


 * I think Serroli and Akuno may be a bit too formal, for Saiyans.


 * There’s the occasional typo, but nothing that really interferes with the story.


 * I think Serroli resorted to violence far too quickly, especially after telling Akuno he would do no such thing.


 * Including Horenso and Kabu in the fanon, only for them to leave so soon after, and so abruptly too, seemed unnecessary


 * Akuno having two names is just silly. Silly silly.


 * I think you couldn’t have made it any less clear why Serroli was so mad. I assumed it was because he was woken early, but he seemed to calm when he was first woken for this to be the case.


 * I think that the battery upon Namek was really lackluster. You don’t show the deaths at all, just talk about them.


 * The dramatic difference between the power lovels of modern saiyans and the saiyans way back then needs an explanation.


 * I think some of the background characters, like Kohl and Rabi, could’ve used much more introduction. They’re also completely pointless characters.


 * I know this is kinda a silly con, but I think you should be more consistent with your chapter sizes. The last 4 chapters makes up for like ½ of the story.


 * I think your execution of the OSS was among the poorest interpretations of the OSS on all the interwebz. I know I didn’t pull him off too masterfully myself, but his appearance here was downright horrible.


 * Akuno is a bit too much of a screamer. It’s like I’m listening to Nirvana.


 * There is some word repetition in the story, like repeated use of rectify.


 * I do believe that Akuno’s character is really much too far out there at times. He’s not really believable for much of the story.


 * Some of the dialog later on is horrible. I just can’t imagine anyone saying what they say, ever.


 * The New Serroli became a SSJ for no reason at all. I think that was a very weak point of the fanon.


 * Serroli’s defeat was very underwhelming and abrupt, almost as if the author never really thought it out beforehand and simply needed a way for Serroli to lose in the end. Really struck me as an asspull.


 * The story is simply filled with loose ends. I think the weakest part of the story was the over-abundant plot-holes present. I needed far more elaboration on how Aratame became Akuno, how he created the universe, how he became so powerful, how he survived the professor trying to kill him. You also never followed through on many of the storylines you started, such as the whole of the Saiyan revolt.

Closing comments: I think that this is, in general, a wholly average fanon. It has an ambitious plot, although not a fully well-thought out plot. The writing is at times very choppy, but I think it’s not so bad you can’t get through the fanon. The fanon is fairly enjoyable, but I think the numerous flaws present really bring the entire fic down. This is of a higher quality than the original ST, but it also has just as many holes present. I really have mixed feelings about it.

Five word summary: Flawed greatly, but still enjoyable.

Rating: B

Pros

 * Given that this is a KV story, I really shouldn't have to say this, but I will anyways. The spelling, grammar, all that jazz is great.


 * It's written in first person, which is surely an interesting change.


 * It covers a nuance in the DB universe, rather than a major concept, which I personally find to be pretty cool


 * Subtle in places, which I found to be refreshing

Cons

 * I think that the most significant con in the entirety of the story is simply that Cui's voice doesn't really remain consistent throughout it. At some points he talks like a complete child, while at other times he speaks very elegantly. Due to this lack of consistency, lots of character was detracted from the story and it kind of made the whole first person experiment a failed one. At times it felt like I was reading Cui write, at other times it felt like I was reading KV write.


 * Kid Vegeta should not have done that much damage to Recoome, who was far stronger than him.

Closing comments: I find this fanon to be an original one that has some interesting aspects to it, but the alternating writing styles in a first person fanon really kept me from getting into it as much I would like to. In general, though, I thought this was a great fanon.

Rating: A

Pros

 * It has lots of pictures. Weee.

Cons

 * Tang needs a much better introduction


 * If there were no more saiyans, then a Saiyan could not give birth to a Saiyan, therefore meaning that the story does not make sense.


 * If there were no more Saiyans on Earth, Tang would not know what a Super Saiyan was, and therefore would not train to achieve it.


 * So the TV announces that a new evil is to come. Huh. How 'bout that.


 * Saying that only Tang can stop him makes it clear, right from the beginning, that Tang is a huge gary-stu.


 * No build-up whatsoever.


 * Ultra. That's a good name. Did you have to use your pocket thesaurus for that one?


 * Immediately crosses out any option for defeating Ultra other than to become a Super Saiyan 4. And the fact that you tell us the battle will happen in a year automatically removes any suspense.


 * Stupid shit about becoming a Great Ape, being calmed by his girlfriend Letta, and then going straight to Ultra Super Saiyan 4 without achieving SS4 first.


 * You never wrote anything past him becoming an USS4, but that might actually be a good thing, considering how terrible this was.

Closing comments: It sucked.

Five word summary: Stupid, impossible, unoriginal, and pointless.

Rating: F-

Pros

 * The spelling, grammar, sentence structure, all that jazz is nearly perfect.


 * Writing is the best on the site. No questions.


 * The opening poem is, quite frankly, brilliant. Easily among my favorite poems.


 * Buu's feelings of disbelief at first were very realistic and really added to his character. I liked it lots.


 * The take on Buu's character minus the power is, simply put, brilliant.


 * Buu's character development is perhaps the best on the site.


 * The candy shop scene is downright legendary.


 * The concluding poem is the singlebest work of art on the entirety of the wiki.

Cons

 * There is the occasional typo, but it doesn't really get in the way unless your critiquing the story, heh.
 * Sometimes, particularly earlier on, the description can be a bit too blunt, like in the sentence, "Buu screamed again, in his insanity."
 * KV may have spent a few too many paragraphs at the beginning. I know that establishing a timeframe is important, but I think you could've started the story at maybe when Buu reflected the Spirit Ball or somewhere around there.
 * Almost no plot development at all in the first chapter. You basically recount the events of episode 286 and then have Buu walk up to Babidi. Definitely could've put a bit more into the first chapter.
 * I think that, in chapter 2, you could've been a bit more clear on how much time passed. You just said "As time wore on...", which kind of leaves it ambiguous. The statement kind of implies that a long time passes, but based on how Buu acts afterwards, it seems to only be a few hours.*I think it's realistic for Buu to understand that his power was shipped to another vessel, but I do not think it is realistic for him to be able to immediately recognize the vessel his old power now belonged to. That part could use a bit more elaboration, I think.
 * This is a very minor con, but I think a lot of Baba's early dialog was a bit off.
 * Goku really hasn't heard Baba scream before, so I have no idea how he would recognize her scream, nor jump to the immediate conclusion that it was her scream. There are, you know, other dragon ball characters with shrill voices.
 * Yemma was OOC, especially in his dialog. I think he was a bit too elegant.
 * "And no greater wrath had Uub ever witnessed." What other wrath is he going to have faced? It's not like he's actually fought anyone of genuine might. Is this showing that Buu was more wrathful than Goku when he was taking training too seriously?
 * The whole scene between Yemma and Babidi was kind of silly, simply because Yemma is blackmailed for the information and then seemingly never does anything with the information he got from Babidi
 * I don't see the reasoning behind Babidi taking Buu away, given that Buu will never cooperate under her. I know that any other resolution would be cliched, but I still would have liked some more light on her motivations throughout the story.

Closing comments: Many a vast users have tried to claim this story perfect. They have framed this story as being without a blemish, without a singly kink in its creation. Now, with all due respect to the author of this story, this is most certainly not the case. The story has flaws, in much the same sense that it has perks. For no story would be complete without full role of both pros and cons.

Never has KidVegeta produced a story which is inherently bad. Some are worse than others, granted, but none are bad. From KC, with its satirical brilliance, to A Mother's Love, with its allegorical sauvity; Slaved and Sixth, with their anecdotal but emotional styles, and even So Lonely At The Top, with its unique experimentation. Never has he released the same story twice, and consistently has he produced only the finest quality of stories.

However, among this vast mass of stories, no other story contains such raw genius. It uses no tricks to conceal its originality, instead using abiding by the rules of a normal story. With this, it creates the most well-written, meaningful work this wiki has yet to have to grace its fair bandwidth. And as such, I can give this story only my highest commendations.

Five word summary: Genius in its purest form.

Rating: X

Pros

 * Typically well articulated opinions


 * Interesting insight into some stories, like Why Bother?


 * Well organized review blog.


 * There is a fairly sizable amount of reviews, at 22.

Cons

 * Reviews typically only have a few pros and cons. There is very little thought or care put into these reviews whatsoever. This doesn't apply quite so much to his reviews of bad stories, but his reviews of good-decent stories are usually very minimalistic.


 * The ratings system is subpar, given that plenty of stories with no relation in quality are given the same rank. The terms of all the ratings are subpar.

Closing comments: I think that the lack of any thought in these reviews drags the blog down quite a bit. When there is a review with one pro and one con, it really tells the author nothing. I think that, if he tried a good bit harder to give a fair amount of pros and cons, the reviews would have a lot more meaning to them

Five Word Summary: Shallow reviews with little thought.

Rating: Q+

Pros

 * Strange as this may seem, I've always thought that the idea of Bardock going Super Saiyan was somewhat interesting. I've had the idea myself, so I'd say the premise is okay.


 * Grammar and spelling is okay.


 * Surprisingly, most of the characters are in character. The dialog isn't actually that bad, for the characters besides Bardock.


 * Fight scenes are fairly good.

Cons

 * I think that the fact that the events of the original story are the same up to Bardock going super saiyan is somewhat illogical. I think it would have been much better if there was some change of events before Bardock went super saiyan which actually caused him to go Super Saiyan.


 * Writing is very plain. You basically just say, "Bardock was mad." It would have been much better if you gave some type of imagery to describe his anger or had him do some action to represent his anger.


 * Going LSSJ makes almost no sense at all. That's not a transformation triggered by rage, it's triggered by genetics. It'd be way better if he just went normal super saiyan.


 * It doesn't make any sense at all for Bardock to conceal his Super Saiyan power. I also don't see why he would need the help of other saiyans, 'cause he's so powerful now.


 * Very little buildup.


 * Dialog formatting is bad. You really should make a new paragraph each time someone talks. That's just basic formatting.


 * Bardock is OOC in his dialog. I could never imagine him saying "Oh well. Whatever it is, it shouldn't cause me any trouble."


 * You never say that Bardock powers up to his LSSJ, so there is no reason at all that he should be defeating a powered up Zarbon. That's just a complete lack of any understanding of power differences.


 * Very bad end to the story. It's super anti-climactic for Bardock to win a beam struggle and to just kill Frieza like that. It was almost like you couldn't find a decent way to end the story so you just had Bardock use an energy attack to kill him. That was a very low point for the story.


 * Bardock becoming the king of planet Vegeta is just a fanboy ploy. I think you could've written a better epilogue for sure. Perhaps something about Bardock meeting up with his son later or being a general in the Saiyan army. The way the epilogue currently goes is very subpar.


 * Goku's life going exactly the same as it would in the normal universe, except with Cooler instead of Frieza, doesn't make much sense, simply because Bardock kills Vegeta in this alternate timeline. Therefore, Goku would never meet Vegeta, so he would never meet Cooler either. That was just a lazy conclusion.

Closing Comments: This story is mildly interesting. It is entertaining, but definitely needed expansion. It seemed rush and without much thought to it. However, the story does have it's saving graces, so I would never say that it is terrible - at much the same time, though, it is not exactly good. In short, I look forward to future installments of Dragon Ball:Adventures, as it does show moderate promise.

Five Word Summary: Moderately entertaining yet poorly made.

Rating: D

Pros

 * The only pro here is that the reviews typically aren't that bad as the reviews by others that are notoriously bad, such as SS11's reviews, but some of the reviews are about as bad.

Cons

 * Akurna refuses to review anything that's any more than just a chapter long. That's absolutely ridiculous, in all ways imaginable.


 * The review blog is almost never updated.


 * The reviews are very short and nearly useless. This is even more prominent than HZ's reviews, because she doesn't even give out a decent amount of cons for bad stories.


 * Useless review of IR. She basically said it had good grammar and that Buu was stronger than Babidi. Following this, she claimed it was the greatest fanon to ever grace the face of the internet.


 * The review of KC was vague, uninformative and completely useless. The author can get nothing out of it; it offers no help at all other than that she didn't think it was funny.


 * Saying that you didn't like the format of AML is ridiculous. You also offered no reasoning as to why it was good or bad otherwise, so that basically just makes the review pure bias.


 * Her rating system is very inspecific, so it is hard to use it to gauge the actual quality of the fanon.

Closing comments: I think that is definitely one of the weakest review blogs out there, probably in the bottom ten. The reviews do nothing to help the author and almost no thought is put into them. She also almost never updates it and never reads longer fanons, so it's pretty much just gathering dust.

Five word summary: Pointless, with no redeeming values.

Rating: E-

Dragon Ball T
Many a night ago, I was speaking to my dearest friend, Mr. KidVegeta. We spoke of the general low quality of the fanons on the wiki; how a satire of them could help to point out their flaws better than any review could. And so, the brainchild known as Dragonball KC was formed. It amassed a huge following of fans, many of whom loved it so much that they claimed it the greatest humour story of all time, before it came to a conclusion with a whimper, and not a bang.

In spirit, it has continued onwards as a story. The horrible Goku Chronicles and the pathetic Yu Yu Hakusho Z have tried to use the same type of humour to create a story, yet neither of the two really accomplished much of anything. Every user without an ounce of talent, from NomadMusik to KorintheKat, has tried to make their own funny story, in lieu of thinking out a coherent plot and creating a genuine story. And then there was the ultimate culmination of all of this: SS11 tried his hand at a humour fanon.

We don't need another story of this sort on the wiki. It's tried and tested at this point and we're all sick of it. This story is filling no niche, nor is it creating any laughs. It's just trying to rip off a much better fanon because he can't write a decent fanon himself. It's on the same note as "The Remembered Coldians", and, unsurprisingly, it's just as bad.

We start out the story with Trunks coming back in time and killing people. It's not parodying anything, it's just trying to evoke laughs with complete incoherency. Trunks then kills the Z Fighters. Brilliant. Shenron eats Trunks. Shenron turns into Godzilla. The Hell villains kill Shenron. It's supposed to be funny because it makes no sense, but, quite frankly, it's not. The execution is just to poor to bring forth even a grin.

Part of the problem is that the spelling and grammar is around where SS11 usually writes. If he made it worse or, even, better, the story could be a whole lot funnier. However, as it stands, it is just as ridiculous and poorly written as any other story he has ever made.

After this, we see all the Saiyans go "legendary super sayian123456789123456789123456789987654321987654321987654321192837465". This might be funny if the same exact joke hadn't been made a million and half times before. It's simply no longer funny, at all. It's also extremely cliched, as it seems that nigh every humour story nowadays. It just goes to show that everything that SS11 writes is just a cliched piece of filth.

The story just drones on from there. A bunch of random crossovers which attempt to be funny happen and nobody laughs. Everyone dies again and, surprisingly, it's still not funny. The story concludes in a way that replicates Chapter 8 of KC with near perfection, but is still a helluva lot less funny. Luckily, the story is only 4 paragraphs, so we don't have to deal with the shit for too long,

In short, I think that this is one of the poorest comedies on the site. It's basically KC without any of the appeal. With that said, I think that this story may be the very epitome of everything that is currently wrong with the wiki. Nobody can be bothered enough to come up with a decent plot, so they just write a stupid comedy instead. I'm not saying that comedies are necessarily a bad thing; Cell and Frieza go camping certainly shows promise, but in general the comedies we create are pathetic lumps of non-humour. Everything about this story sucks; for that, I despise it. I genuinely wish that SS11 would either stop writing the shit he makes or at least try to improve his technique. But, as it stands, he is the most awful writer currently on the wiki. And this is no exception.

Rating: E-

Pros

 * Grammar and spelling is generally good.


 * The story is well detailed, in that you can tell what is going on and visualize it to some extent.


 * There definitely isn't any overpowering. That's a very good thing, especially when the time that this story was made is considered.


 * Fight scenes are, at best, passable. They're good enough to keep me interested, but nothing really special.


 * I think that the big scene of chaos in the town square was really quite entertaining and engaging.


 * The last battle was rather well done, I think.


 * The fact that the last battle gives a better explanation as to why Frieza destroyed Planet Vegeta is really interesting and helps to make the story a lot more purposeful, I think.

Cons

 * Dialog formatting is off; please start a new paragraph whenever a new character speaks.


 * Some of the names are laughable, such as General Pinaple.


 * Dialog ranges from decent to just bad. I think that some of it is just horrible, such as Vegeta saying, "Fine. I guess I can't hope for more." while most of it is okay.


 * Charon revealing that he was the one who killed Cafa so quickly seems unrealistic.


 * The idea of the Dsioch gaining power after every triumph basically just serves as a plot device for the characters in the fanon to continue growing in power. Without that, the Dsioch would just fall behind and never return. Of course, in some regard, it is more interesting than just having them train or whatnot, so this isn't the biggest problem ever.


 * Description is very simplistic. It's as if a robot is recounting the events of the story to me.


 * The characters are very undeveloped fanon characters. From Choke, who's just cliched, to Charon, who's just bland, none of the characters themselves hold much interest to me.


 * The Elder is far too similar to Elder Kai, right down to unlocking Charon's potential. He's basically just a carbon copy.


 * The elder saving Charon at the last minute was a bit of an asspull. I would have rather seen Charon just die there.

Closing comments: This is definitely one of the more entertaining stories that I have read. It doesn't take itself too seriously and has decent writing, so I can appreciate it in that regard alone. I think that I actually preffered this to the original ST, but didn't think it was quite as good as OoS, so my rating was chosen accordingly. I'd say that this story does nothing out of the ordinary to separate itself from the rest of the pack, but at much the same time isn't so bad that it comes off as being below average. Nice job, POAS!

Rating: B-

Pros

 * I think that the fact that this is a humour story with a coherent plot warrants a pro.


 * Great writing, in the sense that mechanics, spelling, and word choice is quite good


 * I found myself consistently smiling at the story.


 * The first part of Chapter 3, with the human extra, was actually really funny and clever. I liked it a lot.

Cons

 * Uh, Kid Buu shouldn't be in Hell.


 * Dabura sending the two to Earth makes little sense. They could easily kill the entire population of Earth while up there.


 * Writing can definitely get fairly awkward.


 * Far as I can tell, everybody is OOC. For a nonsense humour story, this would be okay. However, for a genuine humour story, like what you are writing, it doesn't really work.


 * Cell was a bit too calm in the story. He should have reacted more strongly to having to share a tent with Frieza.


 * Dialog is badly done. I would suggest speaking your lines aloud to see if they sound right, because many of the lines of dialog in the story right now are very unrealistic.


 * No part of the story is very funny. While it is, earlier on, amusing enough to evoke a few smiles, the mass of the story simply isn't very funny. I think that you need to be a bit wittier or more bombastic if you want people to laugh harder. As it stands, the story is funny enough to bring forth a few smiles, but not funny enough to actually laugh very hard at.

Closing comments: I think the only redeeming aspect of the story is that it has a coherent plot and is a comedy. This is basically unheard of on the wiki and is a refreshing change. However, the plot isn't particularly strong or interesting and I rarely laughed at the story, so I think that it lacks any sort of "wow" factor to it. I think that you may need to rework the plot of the story or make funnier scenes, because it is dearly underwhelming as it stands.

Rating: Q-

To Be Reviewed
To Be Re-Reviewed
 * Dragonball Z: Revenge of The Saiyans
 * Dragon Ball Z : NS
 * User blog:NomadMusik/Reviews... as they fall, I rise.
 * Mr. Annoyance
 * Cell and Frieza Go Camping
 * The Training of Echo
 * The Ultimate Battle in All of The Universe


 * Dragon Ball:Adventures (I'm going to wait until it's finished and then review the entire thing)