User blog:KidVegeta/KidVegeta's reviews

(click the archive 1 link above to see all my previous reviews, up to this point)

These reviews are just my opinions. I do not claim to be better or worse than anyone else here. But that's not to say I won't be critical. That I won't be unforgiving. That I won't go out of my way to list 100 cons for your story in a heartbeat. I will, and gladly. Remember gents; I didn't give you an E-. You gave yourself an E- when you decided to sit down and post your atrocity for all of us to see. I'm simply here to call you out on it. So grab ahold of your mommies gents, this is gonna be one long ride.

RATINGS:

S (highest)

A

B

C

D

E (lowest)

Comedy Story Ratings:

O + (highest)

O

R +

R

R - (lowest)

Auxiliary Pages (Blogs/User Pages/etc)

Rated from: 0.1 - 10.0

Explanation of ratings:

E rated stories are terrible. D rated stories are quite bad, but a little more tolerable than Es. C rated stories are ones that I consider below average. Average stories will be given B ratings. Good, decent stories will be given an A-, A, or A+. Amazing stories will be given an S- or S. Perchance that there is ever a fan fic that I review that is, quite simply the cat's pajamas that will get an S+.

Comedies are reviewed in the same manner as other stories, but will have a different rating system. This is because I feel that it's not fair to compare them to normal stories, given their intent. O+ is not inherently equivalent to S+; if my favorite story is a comedy, it will receive an S+ instead. There is no O- rating; that is on purpose.

For now, I'm going to start with the featured fan fictions, as well as I few others I have read. But, I will review any and all stories that are requested. I'll list pros and cons right now, because otherwise it would be too long.

DRAGON BALL FS
pros

He dun parodied mah story.

Honestly, the only part I found funny was the bit about some of the Uub chocolate getting on Goku, and him loving it.

cons

NCF

The author shows a clear lack of any grammatical abilities.

Poor Uub.

Copying my candy shop scene. Tsk tsk.

Meh, Goku’s new power was lame. The leap from chocolate to “fat” was predictable, too.

Your bit, thereafter, ‘bout all the stretch marks and botox and imploding, and other shit… none of it was funny.

Closing Thoughts: A troll tried to parody a masterpiece in comedic form, as obviously it would not able to compare in his regular ability. That said, this story still sucked. It’s one of the worst comedies on the site.

Final Rating: R-

HATERS GONNA HATE
pros

Can't honestly give this story any pros.

cons

Right off the get-go, I hated that you censored all swear words. The first time I read this, I didn't realize you were censoring "bitch", leading me to be quite confused. I'd rather you didn't censor them, and just put a warning template.

The rhyming in this story is simple, basic, lackluster. It has a wholly unappealing feel to it.

I don't like that this story is in the format of a rap song.

Far too much swearing. Let's face, this isn't anything Krillin would ever say, so that means this story is also very much OOC for him.

Besides its OOC aspects, it's wholly OOU as well.

There is a total lack of any signifigant plot/resolution/purpose at all in this fic.

Closing Thoughts: HGH is directionless. It is humorless. Annoying as hell. But most of all, this story is, without a doubt, the epitome of a waste of time.

Final Rating: R-

NOT REALLY SURE
pros

Some of the made up wiki usernames are clever.

Holds a sincere purpose.

cons

Although I said above that this story holds a sincere purpose, that purpose is ultimately irrelevant, as this wiki does not delete stories simply because they are bad. And don't be going into logical fallacy land with saying "it could happen!" or "it will happen... eventually!"

Totally unfunny. I don't know why this is classified as a comedy.

Too short and forced at the end. You had much more potential to work on, in that area of the story. Particularly the admins banning one another.

The formatting is poor, and makes the story hard to understand and read, especially on the first run through.

Closing Thoughts: I would have thought this story to be clever, brilliant even, had I not already done basically the same thing in A Mother's Love. And seeing as this story really doesn't have any comedic aspects to it, and it is still considered a comedy story, I have to give it the lowest comedy rating possible.

Rating: R-

JELLO
pros

Jello is delicious.

This is a silly story written with good technique.

The fact that this story isn't about sex (and is written by Aku) warrants a pro.

cons

Vegeta is out of character... again. This seems to be a staple of all Aku fics, unfortunately.

I think some of your sentences could be written better. For the most part, there is good writing, but it can get bad fast. For example, I felt there was something "off" about how you described the Jello at first.

“It’s worse than Bunny’s thighs!” - is a terrible bit of dialogue.

I think you wasted opportunity to make it funny on how you ended the story.

Overall, while some parts are humorous, this story just isn't that funny at all.

Closing Thoughts: An admirable first attempt by AkurnaSkullblaka at comedy. It's better than most others can do. But that's not saying much. It's still a shoddy attempt at comedy, that is only slightly funny; whereas most others have no comedic elements at all. Basically it had one or two vaguely humorous moments, and that is why it is given a rating above most of these other failed attempts.

Rating: R

GROKU
pros

Surprisingly average grammar.

cons

Completely asinine name, with simply adding an R to Goku. Good one!

Groku has a very simplistic, clichéd personality. We've seen this a million times before. He's mean, he's cruel. He's a king, he has lots of money. It would be loads better if you added in specialized personality aspects to him, things that only he has. For example (and I'm not suggesting you use any of these), he could be afraid of something (like water), he could collect things (like swords), he could have lupus. Just give him more depth. Something that will make us be able to love/hate him based on who he is.

Please make his profile picture smaller. It's obnoxiously large right now.

Knock 'em down is a very juvenile move name. Try to come up with something a little more interesting and creative. It will make your character look more acceptable.

20 ton weights is insanely high. It makes everything suddenly lose any credibility it had. Use gradual weight increases, starting with around 5-10 lb each, and work your way up.

This character has no weaknesses that I can see. You should make some. Because, of course, godmodding isn't fun to read, and from experience, I can say it's not fun (in the long run) to write.

You don't explain why he took over cities. That detail could use expanding.

The thing with Nail Jr. is a near perfect mimick of many of the escapades that Goku had in DB, when he was a kid. I would much prefer it if you created an original story.

There is no good explanation for why Groku knows the Kamehameha.

I don't like that he is a king, either.

Closing Thoughts: This character is devoid of many things. He is very simplistic and has a very simplistic backstory, which is just a ripoff of DB. And we don't like ripoffs. That said, this character could become average, decent even, if you were to fix those cons. Otherwise, he will remain a terribly uninspired bit of rubbish.

Final Rating: E-

SEMI-CHARMED
pros

That this is about Tarble is something that instantly makes me like it.

A decently well-written poem. I'd give it a 7/10 in terms of rhyming and word usage. It could be better, but it could also be much worse.

The incorporation of Gure was decent. Although, it's a bit weird (at least without some more explaining) why'd she give herself up to him so readily...

I very much like the point of view this is told from. The best parts of this poem were him constantly second guessing himself about Tarble.

cons

I think a bit too much time was spent on the pod crashing onto the planet. Probably could do with one less stanza about that.

I find the whole thing about the aliens treating Tarble as a God the demon, then letting him live was done too quickly, especially with all the "fluff" stanzas beforehand.

I don't much like that Tarble calls himself a Saiyan prince. Seems a bit OOC to me.

There is no logical reason for why they would let Tarble live in the end. Even if he was no longer considered a demon, I think it would make much more sense for them to just kill him anyway. It just feels like how they would act.

Closing Comments: I have little to add to this section that has not already been said. The poem itself is good; the plot is something I very much enjoyed and the writing is okay. It is certainly an admirable and unique one shot, and I would most definitely recommend it to anyone.

Final Rating: B

THE SIZE OF IT
pros

None.

cons

Goku is completely OOC.

The dialogue is ruddy terrible.

The scene of Goku and Chi Chi is completely unfunny and pointless.

Trying to get cheap laughs out of Goku having a boner, and Chi Chi's boobies just shows that you lack any comedic abilities.

Gohan is OOC.

I positively hate the stupid porn scene. It's so unnecessary and out of character for everyone.

'"'Woof, woof!! Look at the size of it''!!" '''- is pure trash.

Closing Thoughts: Simply put, this story was unfunny and lame. It's no more than a failed attempt at comedy, and I do not recommend anyone waste their time in reading it.

Final Rating: R-

DRAGON BALL: YAMI
pros

Not a one.

cons

You stole my lions. Not only are they annoying as hell, but they still also link to my blog. Good copy, bro.

Spelling, grammar, mechanics, usage... everything is done poorly.

Goku shooting a kamehameha at Uub like that is out of character.

The crossover aspect of this story is completely half-assed. Uub being shot into a pyramid then immediately coming out with 6 millenium items on is just nonsensical.

There is no buildup in this story. An example of this would be when "Suddenly the sky turns dark and monsters appear out of nowhere" To be blunt, that's really poor wriitng technique.

The Goku then Yami bit. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Same thing when after the shadow creatures come in randomly and then leave randomly nigh but a sentence later.

Vegeta turning into Bakura is very lame. Pretty darn lazy, too.

Bakura's speech to himself is stupid.

Don't you fucking dare use the word "ain't" in this POS again.

Disliked quite a bit that Vegeta so easily broke free of Bakura's control and went to find Goku. This is all so pointless.

Vegeta reaching Goku in 1 minute.

If Vegeta is no longer under Bakura's control, there is no reason why he would challenge Goku to fight.

Thus, Vegeta is OOC.

Goku wouldn't go only SS1 if Vegeta went SS2. That's just stupid bullshit.

The Goku and Vegeta fight was extremely lacking.

Dat orange Super Saiyan 3 hair. You draw it yourself, bro?

'''"Now the time for talk is over. The time for your demise has just begun." '''- is so incredibly lame, I cannot aptly put words to describe it.

The Bakura/Yami fight scene was poorly done. It was also written very plainly.

I hate that there is a huge lack of proper transitions. Especially considering that you go back and forth between different characters constantly.

Vegeta training with King Kai is ridiculous.

Him learning Kaioken is ridiculous.

And yet, this POS Supreme Super Saiyan 3 takes the cake.

I severely dislike how nearly all the dialogue is just one person explaining why he's so powerful to another.

All of your fight scenes are just people shooting beams of energy at each other. More importantly, they suck bigtime.

Poorly done change from third to second person around the end of the second chapter.

The explanation for how Bakura survived Goku's Kamehameha is asinine at best. At worst, it's a poorly conceived plot point with no redeemable qualities about it. And I really detest asspulls like that.

Goku wouldn't pass out from a simple Kamehameha. Ultra or not.

Uub is now wearing five of those pieces. For no reason, of course. This is such a great part.

Killing Uub was done quite lazily.

Bakura prolly should waste time flying to Egypt while he's already in Egypt.

"Zorc begins to burn everything" - Oh, that's a good twist!

The only thing you ever have Goku do is fire a Kamehameha. As if you're expecting us to believe that it will ever succeed.

Goku rehashing exactly what he did in the Buu saga, with asking everyone for energy for his spirit bomb is so completely trite I cannot stand it.

Moreover, the people wouldn't listen to him. If you remember, Hercule had to trick them to give Goku the energy. So once again, this is just another lazy asspull to get yourself out of an impossible situation, which YOU put yourself in.

The rest of the Z fighters would have already sensed Goku and Vegeta fighting.

Goku forms the Spirit Bomb far too quickly. If you remember in Z, it took him like 12 episodes to do it. Anything less, here, is just a lie.

Yamcha can't fire a wolf fang fist. It's a physical attack.

Everyone using their ultimate attacks together was spectacularly lame. I expected much more out of it, quite honestly.

Lame way to end that fight. "Zorc just kills them all, cept Goku of course".

But wait, Vegeta breaking free from Bakura's control again saves the day. I like how you say that he beats them forever no matter what. That was quite possibly the most anti-climactic ending to a fight I ever did read.

Lol, then you kill Vegeta too. That was quite poorly done. Also, you haven't explained why Goku was kept alive, and why Zorc went out of his way to basically kill every single person besides him.

It's far too coincidental to have Goku turn back into Yami again.

Defeating Zorc with the Yugioh monsters was pointless.

Indeed, I'd say including this story in the dragon ball universe served no point at all. It was basically just a duel between two yugioh guys with random DB characters being killed along the way. Totally pointless.

Of course, after all this, Goku would destroy everything with a Kamehameha.

But of course everyone is revived. I knew it. Why bother killing them if you're just gonna bring them back?

If Yami is the good guy in heaven, his name shouldn't mean "darkness". That's stupid.

Closing Thoughts: ss11 has returned to the wiki in grand form, to post for us perhaps his worst story ever. This one is about as bad as V, if not worse. The characters suck, there is no plot, there is no point, there is no connection between the crossover elements. This is absolute trash. A hideous story with no redeeming qualities in it at all. I hated it thoroughly from start to finish; every second of it.

Final Rating: E-

LIKE A BITCH
pros

I very much enjoy how out of character everyone is; TB included.

The TB dialogue, where you constantly mocked my writing was really funny to me.

Breaking The Benefactor's knife and having him hide his tears over it was my favorite part of this story.

Roshi's introduction was incredibly well done. I laughed quite a bit at it.

The entire concept of this story was really funny. Inherently funny, as it were - which is unlike many other comedies that start out with a terrible concept and try to make that funny.

TB's death. 'Nuff said.

Overall, this is a great work of humor. One of, if not the best on the site.

cons

Some of the jokes, particularly the Roshi or Vegeta dialogues seemed somwhat strained or forced. Like you were trying too hard to make them funny. And they kind of ended up being not funny because of that.

I found TB's speeches after Roshi appeared to be rather mediocre. Considering that his dialogue was spot on brilliant before, this was really a noticeable contrast in quality.

Something about the wild sensing was a bit off. I think it has to do a bit with TB being super confident at this point, which I didn't much find funny at all.

Closing Thoughts: As a whole, I feel the story started out very strong but it degraded a bit in quality as it went on. I think the best jokes were in the beginning, when you were making fun of how I write and such, but it got less and less funny as you went on. That said, the ending redeemed it a bit, what with TB blowing up how he did. Overall,I enjoyed this story, and it's one of the few that have ever made me laugh outloud. I would recommend it to anyone as one of the better comedies on the site.

Final Rating: R+

DRAGON BALL TEMPORAKAI: TRUNKS IN HELL
pros

Even if you didn't make them yourself, I enjoy the pictures.

The concept of the Ultra Super Saiyan 3 is okay; it would be slightly better if it was Ascended Super Saiyan 3, but I could see why you wouldn't want to use that word.

I think the concept of using old unnamed Saiyans is kind of cool.

I actually like that Trunks was overwhelmed by King Vegeta in the end, even if I don't like any of the aspects of that fight.

cons

This story has very poor spelling/grammar/set up. All that jazz.

Writing this in present tense just doesn't work.

In addition, the writing is very childish. It seems like every time a big, or uncommon word is used, it's awkward, as if the writer does not know how to properly include such words.

The lack of a starting point for this story is troublesome. For one, I have no reference point as to where this story begins. Is it after Z? After GT? Part of some other timeline? The story just begins, without any buildup or any type of jumping off point, which is really confusing. I'd recommend at least putting a cursory summary in the beginning as to what this story actually is.

I assume that this story is part of a bigger story. And therefore, in that, it is explained why Trunks is dead in the first place. That's fine, but I was only asked to review this story, so I have no knowledge of anything else that has happened in this series. As I've mentioned before, it would be infinitely helpful for you to post reasons for all of this, or at least link back to the other story this one is branching off of.

Having Trunks to go hell to fight with Piccolo (now I am assuming this is after GT, by the way) is a very forced and fanboy-ish plot point. Remove it, please.

Every time someone speaks, make a new paragraph. Please.

Also, having Trunks be refused access to hell was almost an okay idea. Almost. Until you went and had him ki blast the road to get himself in trouble. That kind of a plan is very lame and lazy. Why bother even having him be denied access, if he will get in one sentence later? Basically what I'm trying ot say is that you lack buildup; you need to write about these things in a more gradual way. But it is just not good enough to create a potential plot point like that, and resolve it in a only a few words later.

Trunks being so pissy and agitated is out of character for him.

In the second chapter, again, you are using words that you either do not know, or are not comfortable using, and it just comes off as unreadable and awkward. I'd rather you write continuously simple if that's all you can manage. I understand that not everybody has a huge vocabulary, and it is perfectly fine to not have one, but it is not necessary to try and convince us that you do.

I think it would be a great place for character/relationship development between Piccolo and Trunks if you were to put some effort into having Trunks tell Piccolo why he died. Your sentence about cowardice thereafter is unhelpful to us. We don't know how he died, and you are assuming we do. So talking about his death in such a way is just a recipe for pure confusion.

Again, it's quite fanboyish to have Trunks be accepted to help Piccolo so quickly. Trunks isn't stronger than Piccolo, and I doubt many of the hell residents are stronger than Piccolo either, so logically, there isn't much reason for Trunks being needed here.

It would greatly improve your writing if you stopped using cliches, like "Goten is just like his father a born fighter, and a born hero."

There is no explanation for how Trunks reached Super Saiyan 2. This needs to be fixed.

Using indirect dialogue is something that doesn't particularly work here, and it gets muddied even more considering that your chapters are all (usually) one or two big paragraphs. So it makes it very hard to read. I also think using a little less indirect dialogue on a whole would be good. I much prefer direct dialogue, as it shows the story in the here and now; it's much more... crisp.

"When Vegeta finally devised a plan to unlock the power it was considered cruel and devilish, but most agreed it was the only way to stop the power block and help him gain control of himself." - Once more, stuff like that is nigh incomprehensible. You need to be very clear and specific when talking about the past. And, quite frankly, if writing out such a thing is only going to detract from the story, you may as well not include it.

The transformation "Ultra Super Saiyan 3" was, unfortunately, not given a very good introduction. Trunks' method for reaching it is also pretty illogical, considering the fact that he is much weaker than Goku/Gohan/Vegeta. It doesn't make sense to me that he could reach a level of power beyond theirs, when they could not, themselves.

In the same token of me liking the Saiyan plot point in hell, I severely detest that they are all Super Saiyans. It really cheapens the "specialness" of the form; moreover, it just shows a lazy excuse for as to why they would beat Trunks, given that they should not be able to any other way.

Even more terrible is the fact that these Saiyans were holding off SS Trunks while in their base forms. As well, by no means should SS1 Unnamed Saiyan guy be able to beat SS2 Trunks. That is really, really bad. Please remove or fix that.

It's not a good plot point that King Vegeta knows Trunks to be his grandson. Granted, it is possible that he would know, but really, it's just laziness and wasted space for character development. I've noticed a pattern in this fic of the author taking the easy way out, almost always, which is not something that should have been done.

And no, the stuff about the oracle in hell is not a satisfactory explanation. Such a thing does not exist in the Dragon Ball universe, so briefly mentioning it as a way out of this mess is just an asspull.

King Vegeta talks inconsistently. He's out of character almost constantly.

Needing a new Saiyan Prince is a terrible plot point. Why do they need a prince? What does a prince do? Simply saying they need one for the sake of nothingness is a pointless waste of time.

Sharrotto being the most beautiful Saiyan woman, as well as falling in love with Trunks (before either of them had every met) is pure fanboyism. I would strongly suggest you change this part.

Your use of the word "decline" is really out of place.

Okay, several things about this "love" thing. I'm assuming the whole reason why King Vegeta wanted Trunks to come to him was to marry this girl. Given how brutal and militaristic the Saiyan culture is, this is really out of character - well, really, it's out of race. These "Saiyans" do not act anything like Saiyans should.

I dislike that King Vegeta can go Super Saiyan 2.

I dislike, even more, how King Vegeta is even with Trunks, even though Trunks is at a higher level of Super Saiyan.

The fights are too short. You also use the same "attacks" a lot, which leads it to being boring to read.

Killing Piccolo was lame at best. The Saiyans are far too overpowered that it's terrible to read. You know, Piccolo wouldn't have gone to hell, knowing that everyone was so much stronger than him and would, obviously, kill him. He went there knowing he could keep the order. Knowing that he was the strongest. So having him not even be able to take on low-level Saiyan warriors just seems very hackneyed to me in the sense that they are your characters, and you want them to win.

I also felt like your cliffhanger of "more Dragon Balls" was the epitome of terribleness, of what was wrong with the Dragon Ball universe.

Final Thoughts: This story was not very good. It had poor grammar, a very bad plot, and stale, one-dimensional characters. For the most part, it was terribly cliched and boring; for the rest it was unreadable from all the confusion it induced. However, that said, if I were to say this story was the worst on the site, that would be simply untrue. There are many that are far worse than this (even if there are quite a few that are better), so in that sense it is somewhat of an admirable attempt at a story. I still must give it a low mark, however.

Final Rating: E+

USER TALK:SONIKFAN112/ARCHIVE2
pros Hyper Zergling is so right about that template stuff. Also he called sonik arrogant which I found mega lulzy.

I like the part when that one user asks how to make a template then doesn't sign his name.

Bardock was very polite.

Good job, Werty, on getting PTSN demoted!

KamehamehaSaiyan said thankies. He is also the new person.

HZ a rollback? Yes yes yes.

That picture of Chaiva is so very good.

"This is no good....."

HalerN had this great idea of a Dragon Ball club. It's good to see users with ideas.

Ah, the great beginning to all the PTSN sockpuppets began here. As HalerN put, so aptly, "That is not the grammar PTSN does".

I like that sonik is the go-to guy for blocking vandals. I do mean this with all seriousness.

120.28.64.72 begging for his user rights is among the funniest things on this page. Of course it was someone else using his IP!

DT looks promising.

KamehamehaSaiyan's legitimate request to delete his two pages is very good.

VTLSS is absolutely correct about the admin election. It's about the only thing he has been correct about, but that's okay.

Also, The Dark Prince requesting to be a rollback was a rib-tickler.

I like the idea of Sonikfan writing a Dragon Ball story. Especially as a collaboration.

I like master chief.

I very much liked that sonik and werty came up with the idea to start up the polls again.

Aw, that was sweet of Werty to go and say KidVegeta would be a good admin.

The main page discussion is very good. I think this is one of the few administrative things that werty and sonik have both been a part of.

Article of the month; good idea, I like it.

Superfusion's sig looks lovely.

Same for Destructivedisk's.

HZ showing Supersaiyian11's bullshit for what it really is is the funniest thing on this page.

SuperFusion had good deduction about sonikfan not knowing is IP address.

"Dear SonikFan112,

Thanks for looking out. You can help me by telling other users about Minza or Leon.

From, Vegetajr4 "

cons

"My talk page was getting to big to properly browse through, so I have archived it. The page is un-editable to normal users, and is only there for reference. SonikFan112 20:55, October 14, 2010 (UTC)"

Gawd, HZ, stop saying stuff is no problem.

Oh Raging Blast, and his "official" pictures.

Superfusion's sig is ruddy terrible.

Well, getting banned is not so good.

KamehamehaSaiyan is asking about content boxes.

PTSN making the main page editable is downright despicable.

Werty, that was a terrible fail with all your main page protecting. As NomadMusik correctly pointed out, it was a secret.

120.28.64.72 was a mean vandal for calling ZZ bullshit.

Too bad DT didn't turn out well.

Oh, VTLSS, stop with your template whining.

The Dark Prince using overly formal language to request a vandal block, then failing at it is is a dark spot on this page.

Meh, I dislike TDP wasting sonik's talk page space with his "oh every picture is blank for me I swear".

That Prince of Persia pic is obnoxiously large.

Too bad that wiki contest never went anywhere.

Sonikfan's bubble text sig is downright hideous.

Supersaiyian11 calling VT the best story on the site besides IP and TF is, well, just not true.

That, and ss11 using dd's sig to hide his own agenda was just slimey. He was super slimey.

Sonikfan, don't go "huh" like that. It just makes you look, well, you know...

I very much dislike ss11's sockpuppet, TGODB. Shame on him for undoing that edit.

NM's fearmongering blog was a waste o' space.

Closing Thoughts: Well, certainly this page is a good way to see a slice of the history of the Dragon Ball Fanon wiki. It has quite a few users (if only it had that cool kid on it too) commenting on it, as well as mentioning several of our most key events that have taken place. It's pretty cool to re-read all this stuff. Although, my biggest complaints are how stupid most of the user acted, including sonik, himself, as well as most of the other nublets. It's nice to see that at least sonik has matured from that time, way back when.

Final Rating: 6.5/10

SS11 REVIEWS
pros

I can appreciate that Supersaiyian11 realized his stories have bad spelling and grammar.

cons

GT part 2, a fic which ss11 wrote himself, is the most detailed review that ss11 has given to date. This should come as no surprise, because (though it is filled with constant spelling mistakes) his ulterior motives can be seen, clear as day. There is one reason, and one reason only as to why this review is so much more detailed than any of ss11’s other reviews; quite simply, he planned it. It’s a fake review. He was trying to convince us that this was not his sock puppet by criticizing the story. But that was just a pathetic attempt at duplicity. He wrote the story, so he could easily know all that stuff about using other names for “eyes” constantly. He made up the name Irisian and then called it lame. He had the ability to add pictures but didn’t; all clear signs of his treachery.

In ss11’s review of IP, I must say that he is surprisingly tame. His usual bullshit is kept to a minimum here, with only a few terribly inane cons, like “0 fusions”, or “Yajorobe saved the day even through Krillin was the main character.” Such things simply show off his childish delusions that clichés are necessary for a good story. Actually, he went farther than that. In one fell swoop, he called IP original, then bashed its original aspects in his cons section. ... Clearly ss11 has no idea what he is talking about.

For The Forgotten, let’s look at each of his cons:
 * -good story but way too long
 * -the name doesn't sound exciting.
 * - no pictures
 * Goten aint Gohan's son.

Clearly, things like “the name doesn’t sound exciting” and “no pictures to help my hopelessly unimaginative thoughts” show a clear lack of any ability to criticize a story. Ss11 is whining, basically. This is not a review, but a piss-poor attempt at a rant. And it goes nowhere at all to help me, as a writer, to figure out how to fix my story. So in that sense, this review is a complete and utter failure.

At best, I would call Supersaiyan11’s stories 'horribly clichéd pieces of filth'. So, in his self reviews of his own stories, something which is a bad thing in and of itself (since no one asked him to review his own stories), he goes out of his way to call his stories “creative”, “original”, and “action packed”. Exciting words, aren’t they? Suffice to say, that is no more than a lie. A waste of bytes. But over that, the most interesting thing garnered from his self reviews is that he knows he has terrible spelling and grammar and yet he continues to write with that terrible technique.

With ss11’s review of AP, it’s as if he is trying his hardest to make it better than it is. Specifically, he pointed out the good grammar, something which he most assuredly forgot in his IR and IP reviews. Bias notwithstanding, his cons make little sense. The “no pictures” thing is a reoccurring theme of his bitching; just because he has no imagination himself, he feels it necessary to offer insightful posts like “include pictures so I don’t have to think at all!” Yeah. As well, I would say that there is no clear reason as to why he liked this story so much. There was no articulation in that aspect of it being so good. All of his pros in cons were pretty generic.

At last, I am finally glad to see a helpful review of IR. Owait, this isn’t sonik’s blog. No, this is shit. Ranging from insightful comments about Buu’s lameness, to Buu being too weak, ss11’s review takes us absolutely nowhere in the journey of bias through his mind. Of course he hates Buu. We all know that. Pink is a girly color. Right on. But as a review, this is pure trash. There’s not a single redeeming quality to his bitching at this point; quite frankly, he needs to grow up.

When I first read the review of KC, I laughed; and quite a bit. The thing is, ss11 knows it was a comedy. That’s about all he can comprehend, as far as its subtleties go, but still he definitely knew that. Template or not. The reason why he did go and review it, knowing that, in a “serious” manner, is because this is basically the only opportunity for him to try to make a story look worse than his own. As if that is possible. In the end, this review just solidified ss11’s position as the wiki’s asshat.

Closing Thoughts: This is, surprisingly not so clearly cut, the worst reviews blog on the site. Aside from giving the wiki members something worse than their own writing to criticize, the blog holds no purpose. Don’t waste time reading it.

Final Rating: 0.2/10

DRAGON BALL: THE NEW GENERATION
pros

I like the Gotenks hitch hiker picture.

The story is written somewhat decently, in the sense that it is structured very episodically. I do not mean to say that it has good spelling or grammar though, because it has neither.

Cons

I have to say that this is not a good attempt at writing in script form. There is minimal stage direction and action/detail. Almost all of it is pure dialogue. The dialogue is also formatted weakly with the actions, so that it is very hard to read and understand. The format is trying to copy TF, and well it just can’t. Sorry to say, but it’s a really poor attempt.

I dislike that this story is based on Trunks/Goten/Pan.

It is a little thing, but you do it about 1000 times. Please put a space after the character + colon part. Please.

Grammar could use some cleanup. You frequently capitalize (what seems to be) random words. You also sometimes forget to make proper contractions, such as when you say “Im” instead of “I’m”.

Holding a party every year to honor Omega Shenron’s defeat is just forced. The Z fighters never did that with anyone else, and I highly doubt they would do that here.

What the heck is a regular citizen doing at the Z fighter’s secret party?

Goten and Trunks are having a pizza competition. Whoop dee fucking doo. Really, it is rather boring.

Trunks’ and Pan’s match is far too random and sudden.

Dislike that Trunks would ever need to go SS1 against Pan.

I’m not going to waste a line for every person, but as far as I can tell every single person is out of character; by a lot. Uub is the worst offender, in my opinion.

Cell was not defeated when Goten was alive. He was barely even conceived at that time.

Panthera’s introduction by Uub was such a let down. “Oh there’s this android more perfect than Cell. We never knew about him or nothing, but (promise) he’s stronger than any of us unless you magically unlock super Saiyan 2 and save the day in the most original way possible.”

Uub’s and Goten’s conversation was a waste of time.

Uub giving Goten power makes no sense.

No offense, but I honestly hate how much you butchered Korin’s character. Second worst showing of him I’ve ever seen.

I dislike you use the narrator so much. I don’t much like that you open and close with him at all, but using him in the middle of chapters is bad. Simple descriptive actions would be a much better approach.

Panthera’s real intro is so sudden and confusing that it left me unable to appreciate his actual character.

All of Panthera’s dialogue is either clichéd, awkward, or both.

I wish you would use a wider variety of techniques for the Z fighters. Pan and Trunks in particular just use the same move over and over and over again.

Half of the dialogue is everyone just grunting or screaming out their favorite technique + ha! It gets old very quickly.

“So this is the... Ultimate Android? Im just going to Kamehameha him into oblivion.”

Panthera hits Goten with a kamehameha, and yet you completely ignore it after that. Goten doesn’t dodge, he doesn’t get hit… I have no idea, really. It’s as if you lost track of what was occurring.

The stuff about the hell portal is completely incoherent.

Korin brings up a good point. Aqan is a really bad name for the fusion of Baby and Buu. As well, Buu wasn’t in hell. At this point, he only exists in Uub. I hate that you disregarded that.

At this point, though, Korin is only in this story because you like him. He’s not normally on the lookout. I see no reason why he’s suddenly such a big part of the lookout’s discussion, other than you like him as a character.

Panthera saying “Oh God…” is out of universe.

Goten should not know Kaioken.

You use far too many energy attacks in battles.

The beam struggle between Goten and Panthera is was very disappointing from its lack of epicness.

'''“Panthera is being bashed around by Goten's limitless power! However, Panthera seems to be supressing against Goten, Well that's what Uub thinks!” - ''' Up to this point, there has been no indication that Panthera was holding back. Uub has also yet to comment on this fight, as it is happening, at all. The narrator is not here to introduce to us new things, but merely recap or explain.

Goten is far stronger than Panthera. It makes no sense that he would let Panthera mess around with Trunks and Pan.

Goten’s super Saiyan 2 transformation was poorly done.

Again, the narrator saying that Panthera will surely be destroyed and looking ahead to the next saga is a poor use of this tool. There’s no need to even mention Aqan right now if he has no impact on this fight.

Logically, Vegeta should be at this party. As to why he’s not attacking… that’s not explained. The others, like Uub, if they were in character, would also not sit back and let Goten fight this guy alone.

Kaioken is overused, in the Panthera fight alone.

Kaioken x150 is just obnoxious.

Perhaps the worst scene I have ever read:

“(Back on the Lookout.)

'''Korin:It's offical, Panthera is doomed. '''

'''Dende:Don't get too hopeful.. Aqan might come early..'''

'''Korin:Hah! Ill just use my awesome cat skillz to kill him!'''

Dende and Uub: (FACEPALM)

Korin:Well, i have 700 senzu beans in my staff..

'''Uub:Just shut up Korin.. You can't even defeat Hercu--'''

Korin:MASENKOOO

Uub:When did you learn to do tha---

(The blast hits Uub)

Uub:Ow!

Korin:I've gotten stronger, you know..”

I cannot get over how bad that dialogue is.

That part where Goten is explaining to Pan what his attack is, as he is using it.

They would have killed Panthera. No way he’d be allowed to just leave. He’s far too dangerous for that.

Korin can’t just use telepathy to contact Trunks. He doesn’t have that power.

All this Aqan suspense makes no sense. Once again, where is Vegeta?

Saying that Goten is about as strong as Goku now is either a lie, or an egregious attempt at overpowering.

You would think Uub would have a plan to deal with Aqan if no one else could get there in time.

Still don’t see why Gohan or Vegeta or any other capable Z fighter is helping out here…

Stop trying to make facepalm jokes over Korin’s sudden ineptitude.

I don’t see how weather could effect Korin’s telepathy abilities.

The ketchup/mustard/insane power levels analogy is the worst analogy I have ever seen.

Panthera’s inclusion at this point (the opening battle against Aqan) is totally unnecessary. It’s like when Frieza came to Earth, except if he were to have tripped over a pebble and killed himself.

Korin should not have to contact Goten. Obviously, he should be able to feel Aqan’s power level.

Tien is overzealous. He would never act like this.

Aqan and Tien talking at each other should not have been included. It’s a total waste of time.

You keep talking about how stupid the name Aqan is. Tien, Korin, everyone else is right. It don’t make sense. And it sucks.

Tien should be no match for Aqan. You show his power about at least Omega Shenron’s level. Do I honestly need to explain why that’s a con?

Overall, Tien and Aqan’s fight may have been one of the poorest attempts at combat I’ve ever seen. The sudden jerks in domination should be impossible; more importantly, they dash away any sense of credibility this fight could have had.

Pan is going Super Saiyan 1. Everyone else can do that. It’s not that big of the deal. Adding lava and huge earth cracks won’t disguise that.

You’ve used that “other unneeded screams” joke before. Don’t use it again.

I’d say a good 99% of your dialogue that you write is unnecessary and pointless.

GTFO 9001 joke.

GTFO drugs joke.

GTFO Pan thinking about Venus.

The Pan vs. Aqan fight is tedious at best. It goes on far too long with them merely punching each other. You can only say the same thing so many times….

I fail to see any significance for all the aura color changes.

Trunks coming in next was predictable. Just as it was with Pan losing, hence why I could not take her fight seriously at all.

Of course it will be the same with Trunks. At the very least, there is no way he will beat Aqan alone. It will probably be Gotenks to beat him anyway.

Your chapter titles offer too many spoilers.

I dislike that Aqan gets hit so much. It just gives him the appearance of someone who has no skill, but tons of power, AKA Gohan. And trust me, we don’t need another Gohan in this story.

Lazy explanations, like when you constantly say something like X punched Y a million times.

I dislike your fight progression style. First you have whoever is the newcomer beat up on the bad guy, then eventually this reverses until the bad guy reads. It’s very predictable, and even more boring.

I’m tired of the world going batshit crazy every time someone powers up.

Trunks has used the big bang attack at least a dozen times so far in his attack against Aqan. I think 2 times would be pushing it. But six is just insane.

That part about Aqan and Trunks discussing the terms of their beam struggle - yeah, that was horrible.

Using horrible attempts at humor to cover bad dialogue will not work for you in the short run, nor the long run. Stop doing it, please.

Meh, Giga Trunks.

This idea of 1 Z fighter vs. Aqan is not that bad. But you do it 1 per an episode, and your episodes lack any other substance. This is just a showcase.

I dislike Aqan suppressing his power level.

Vegeta’s “death” as it were, being blown up by a star, is about the stupidest thing I’ve ever read anywhere.

One recurring theme I’ve seen is you questioning your own ridiculous concepts. Be them Aqans name, the myriad instances of terrible dialogue, or even Vegeta’s death, you always ask yourself why. And, almost every time the answer is simply “Because!”. I think it would be better if you just ignored these problems. Because addressing them only shows that you have no explanation. Please, from now on, just keep your problems a secret, okay?

Teleport. Kamehameha. Teleport. Kaioken. Teleport. Kamehameha. Etc…

Trunks’ swearing was very out of place.

By this point, there is honestly no point as to why Uub isn’t helping the three kids.

Pan’s “bomb” attack was destined to fail.

Goku’s random appearance in front of old Kai is wholly unneeded.

This Aqan fight is far too long.

They didn’t need to send Tien to tell Goten and Trunks to fuse. Korin could just as easily used telepathy, like he always does.

Meh, flaming neo tri beam. I don’t like any of these made up names.

Aqan has yet to kill anyone. He can’t kill “anyone anymore”.

I hate it that Gotenks is still using the same 3 attacks that everyone else has used for this fic’s entire duration.

The word “treachery” was used quite improperly in the “Gotenks Returns!” chapter.

I don’t get it. You already said Aqan was at full power… and now retconning him back to 50% power? This makes no sense.

Stop it with all the useless comedy. Pan breaking the fourth wall is neither funny nor relevant. The plot is not moving forward at all.

Kid Aqan makes no sense.

The entire chapter, “Aqan Overwhelmed” is useless. It seems like you found out the story was bad and tried to make it funny to cover that up, but it failed miserably. As with before, stop it with all the comedy, please.

I also want to mention at this point that aside from random bad guys fighting Trunks and Goten, this story lacks any sort of plot at all.

Closing Thoughts: For a moment, I considered this story to be one of the few non E- ones. Then I read it. Sad to say, but it was all downhill from there.

Final Rating: E-

RAGING BLAST'S USERPAGE (VERSION 2)
pros

Love that it's about Raging Blast.

Love the Death Note reference.

Love your avatar.

Love your 2455 edits.

Love that you were a member since June 22, 2010.

Love that there is a button for me to edit your page.

cons

This is still a pointless userpage that offers us no relevant information about the user. For that reason, and that reason alone this userpage is still about as bad as the last one; however, it is a bit less preachy. That makes it a bit better.

Closing Thoughts: I like this version more than the first one. I know, that was very insightful.

Final Rating: 1.5/10

THE ULTIMATE BATTLE IN ALL OF THE UNIVERSE
pros

One moment made me smile - “Oh my gawd, such muscles..." the pharaon said.”

cons

Goten’s boyfriend was a swing and a miss.

I very much became bored Goku and the Gang spent endless sentences just talking about the huge power.

You often confuse “flied” for “flew”

Piccolo is unfunny and OOC. A very striking combination, when you think about it.

Goten being a nerd and all is pretty meh.

“As he said that, he was punched by "Doomsday" in the face.” - Could be a whole lot clearer who “he” is.

… SS4 is a new transformation?

Vegeta constantly screaming out “Neeeeeerd” is just downright annoying.

SS25 was not funny.

I think it could have had the potential to be funny if you could have written the death of Doomsday a bit better.

Vegito eating tons of senzus. I could have seen this being slightly funny if, say, Yajirobe or Korin had brought a huge bag of them. But as is, it is just bad.

The hulk. Not a very funny choice for inclusion.

Seeing as you went out of your way to tell us about Doomsday and The Hulk, I think giving an explanation as to who the heck Yugi Moto is would be greatly appreciated. At this point, I’m struck with confusion, not

Didn’t like that part where the guy started crying because the Hulk was not gay.

SS345234523452345.

I dislike the frequency of the gay jokes. Would like to have some more variety of humor in this story.

WTF Moses quote.

The random Moses scene battling pharons or whatever is completely pointless.

Hitler… really?

God is such a douche bag.

Again, Moses making the Hulk gay is just using the same joke over and over again.

Too much time acceleration. Unfunny, it is.

Uh, yeah. The batman stuff was a pretty big let down.

Closing Thoughts: Yay, another comedy. I had hoped to laugh, but I just couldn’t. It was not funny. There was one scene that made me smile and that was it. The rest of the story was pretty much a big waste of space. Sorry to say, but this was a failed attempt at comedy.

Final Rating: R-

USER TALK:CHOCOLATEADDICTJR
Pros

Good welcome message.

KidVegeta really has a gorgeous sig.

I like the kitty.

“Aight.”

KidVegeta was completely, and I do mean completely right about how to properly color text. He is a really great communicator.

I like the kitty on the second CAJ chat bubble too.

CAJ’s “…” response to SSJ3Ascension.

Cons

I like chocolate as much as the next guy, but srsly… this is too much.

Snake is a truly horrible character.

I dislike that little - 100px that hovers over every one of CAJ’s chat bubbles.

Oh HZ and his Linkin Park.

RB was completely, and I do mean completely wrong about how I colored my text.

Join the DBWI. Ha.

I dislike that “haters gonna hate cocoa” sig.

SSJ3Ascension is poignant as ever.

Android Queen sounds like a very bad idea.

Joseph Morgan going crazy over people calling him out on his poor attempt at a photoshop. As well, CAJ should not have called it a joke, because we really did mean it when we said that was a bad one.

Closing Thoughts: A very weird page with many references and posts by undesirables. I think the only saving grace was the continued presence of myself.

Final Rating: 3.7/10

DRAGON BALL DA: WAR ON EARTH
pros

Generally good spelling and okay grammar.

Full Powered Super Saiyan 2 is a decent idea.

I liked Mr. Satan’s random comment on the fakeness of beam struggles.

I liked that Vegeta defeated Goku in the tourney.

The actual fights in the tourney, although not being written that well, are all decent. None are too far out there.

I have to say, I like what you did with Vegeta vs. Yamu and Spopovich. It’s better than what’s in the anime/manga.

It’s cool that Metamorrans are included in this story.

I appreciate Janemba vs. Super Buu; as it is far more original than much of the rest of this story.

The three way free for all fight with Gohan/Buu/Janemba was actually pretty cool.

It’s a small thing, but I really appreciate that you mention the Potara earrings to be stronger than the fusion dance.

I like the Kid Buu and Bibidi scene.

I like the touch of Gohkan’s fusion having black hair, even in Super Saiyan.

Trying to make Slug canon by placing him after Buu is an all right move.

Broly vs. Goku and Vegeta was mildly interesting. I think Great Ape Broly was a bit of originality, and I like it.

I like that your Super Saiyan 4 is a continuation of what Super Saiyan 3 looks like, and is not GT red-haired version.

cons

It’s been 5 years since I read DA. The least you could do is tell me when this story starts. I know it’s alternate timeline, but still. We need some guidance here.

The writing style is very plain. As with Bloodlines, it’s just sentence after sentence with very little emotion or excitement. It’s almost like you are listing everything. As well, the sentence transitions, themselves, are not very good which makes this a choppy read.

Build up in this story is non-existent. You basically say “Gohan heard screams” then in the next sentence he find the androids. The same thing occurs throughout the entire story, especially at the end of the Buu saga, where it took Goku no more than a few paragraphs to make an entire spirit bomb big enough to destroy Kid Buu.

Often times, dialogue is very bad. I would say a good 80% of it makes me feel embarrassed for you.

Gohan defeats androids 21 and 22 far too quickly. I also think it’s fairly ridiculous that 22 would tell Gohan exactly where the lab is.

Every time someone new talks, it’s imperative that you make a new paragraph. Please.

There is no explanation for if Gohan destroyed the lab or what, the next chapter just takes place in school. That is some mighty poor transitioning.

I’ve never thought it logical that in a simple sparring match Vegeta and Trunks would hurl finishers (like the Final Flash) around so easily. Personally, I think they shouldn’t use stuff like that at all in training.

Vegeta is way way way OOC.

Trunks too.

Goku too.

The Goku vs. Janemba fight is so sudden and confusing that I have no idea what is going on.

There should be an explanation for how Goku is “seeing” back into Earth. This part is otherwise very unclear and confusing.

I don’t like that the tourney is so similar to the canon one, in the Buu saga.

Goku becoming an angry Super Saiyan in his fight against Vegeta is strange… and very much a showcasing of OOC-ness.

Shin lost his match vs. Videl. Krillin should have fought her, not him.

Vegeta vs. Dabura was too short.

I dislike how easily Vegeta went Majin and killed Dabura. It really seems out of place how fast all of this is occurring.

“[Vegeta] fired a blast down on him, which came out the other side of the Earth.” - stuff like that is just an example of poor writing choices.

I really don’t see the need for Goku and Vegeta to fight again now, after they just did so in the tourney a few chapters back. It comes off as clichéd and very unoriginal.

I dislike that Vegeta knows instant transmission now.

It would be mighty helpful if you explained who Senryaku and Ganko were, again.

Vegeta’s sacrifice could have had more impact had it been written in a more emotional way.

The Super Buu/Gotenks battle follows to closely to the actual story.

I find Super Buu’s dialogue to be very stale and predictable. You could use some of this time to develop his character.

Super Buu uses his Gack attack constantly. Try to use a wider variety of attacks, please.

I think your version of Ultimate Gohan is too vague and spontaneous.

I think most of the hell villians’ dialogue is off.

The potara earings and Buu absorbing Gotenks are basically ripoffs from the canon story. At this point, aside from the minor inclusion of janemba, this story is playing out exactly like the anime - and that is not a good thing.

I don’t like that you made Kibito Kai over again.

I don’t like that you did the same exact thing with Tien that the canon story did.

No to Gohan absorbed Buu.

I don’t like anything about the Vegito scene.

Demon Buu is a very bad concept. It also was done far too quickly. Kid Buu himself only lasted about 3 or so paragraphs before transforming. That was not a good idea at all.

I don’t understand why you have Goku so much weaker than Vegeta.

I’ve noticed on several occasions that the word “crater” is misspelled as “greater”.

Kid Buu’s end, death by spirit bomb was heavily rushed and forced. It was just a watered down version of the same attack in the show.

How is the Namekian blood tainted?

Lord Slug was tolerable, but adding Broly into this is just bad.

It was seems very random that Konch would heal Broly at this time. It would make sense if Slug was going to use the Saiyan… but, well, he didn’t…

By the third saga, you are saying that Piccolo was amazed that Trunks and Goten could go SS2. Yet, clearly, both of them went Super Saiyan 2 before. Even if Piccolo wasn’t with them at the time, remember, he was watching the Kid Buu battle, so he would have already seen this.

Yamcha should not have a power level of 2 million. That’s far too high.

The rice cooker trick with Mr. Satan was very poorly done.

No, it’s not logical that the Namekians would know about the evil containment wave.

Uh, that thing about the Namekian getting sucked into a black hole and thereafter getting tons of Dark Energy mutations from it is horrible.

The part where Goten and Trunks went Super Saiyan 3 was very unclear. I think that could use some more explaining… especially the part where the two kids acquired the power to go SS3.

Shear is an okay character but he has no personality. Like everyone else in this story, he has no development of his own self; this leads us, the readers, to not be able to connect or feel for these characters at all. Any of them.

I think all of these fights drag on too long. It would be nice for you to make some time for some non-fighting plot expansion.

Come on now. Having Konch create a black hole and then have him punch through it is very infantile.

Overall, I think adding in Broly, if only to get Goku and Vegeta to run away onto a different planet for a while is a very forced plot point.

I think in his final stand Konch is way too powerful. Ultimate Gohan, Piccolo, Janemba, SS3 Trunks, SS3 Goten, Majin Buu… all of them combined is an insane level of power. I highly doubt that merely fusing with that black hole freak would raise his power from not being able to fight any of them, to beating them all together. It just does not make sense.

Vegeta’s ascendancy to SS4 is a huge wtf moment. I still don’t see why he reached that level so spontaneously.

It also is a useless waste of time, as Vegeta simply died a few sentences later; with this form to never be used or seen again in the fanon.

When you list like just paragraph after paragraph of constant attacks, it gets really tedious to read.

Goku giving Piccolo the spirit bomb is a recolor of the same scene (except with Krillin) that took place in the Saiyan Saga.

Using a Spirit Bomb to kill Broly was extremely hackneyed.

Closing Thoughts: DA: WoE is, in the nicest of terms, a below average fan fiction. The majority of its story (the first two sagas) were near parallels of the actual manga DB story. Sure, a bit of Janemba action was added in, and some pro-Vegeta plot points replaced some of the normal story, but overall, it was just a slightly AU retelling of the Buu saga. Personally, I think such a thing, if it is going to so closely mimic the actual story is a waste of time. The writing and fight scenes were okay, nothing great, but nothing too bad. If it were not for the badly thought out plot, I would consider this story average. I think the third saga best represents this story as to what its greatest potential could be. It was filled with fanon characters, fanon concepts (like the black hole power thing), and of course a whole made up plot. And it was a perfectly average attempt at fan fiction. Due to the first two sagas being slightly below average, and the third being merely neutral, this story is a C-grade fic. That means that, yes, I do think this is better than Werty’s original ST.

Final Rating: C

SONIKFAN112'S USERPAGE
pros

Let's face it. 1341 is an amazing number of edits.

4, count them, 4 tabs of pure awesomesauce... ranging from blogs, to contributions, to even a talk page, this userpage has it all.

It's also rather cool that the buttons are orange.

SonikFan ain't afraid of nobody.

I wish my tongue was that long.

"Fuck off, achievement whores." - Let's look at that phrase for a second. It's clear, simple, short. It conveys its most urgent message with the duest of clarity. It goes out of its way to call out the spammers with an unapologetic slap to the face. Everyone hates this bullshit. Only SonikFan had the unwavering courage to take a stand against the whores. Necroing and spamming and spamming and necroing, all for the little gain of a few achievement points (which we will be turning off anyway). They most certainly need to stop. It's unhealthy and we hatez it long time. SonikFan has spoken for us all.

cons

Too short.

Closing Thoughts: I love this userpage so much it hurts.

As I was so nicely reminded, this page has nothing to do with SonikFan as a user.

Final Rating: 9.3/10

Mr. Annoyance
Pros

None.

Cons

First up, e'eryone is OOC.

If this is comedy, I'm not feeling it. I don't think any bit of this story was funny in the least.

Chat doesn't censor bad words. We could easily say shit. And we do.

Why does everyone randomly leave? The conversation was lackluster to begin with, and it could have helped it to be expanded.

NomadMusik initiating his own talk page discussion is just pointless.

Pretty obnoxious sigs if you ask me.

The whole DD/NM bit is rather... terrible, really. Neither of you would talk like that, and even if you did, DD would not ban you for such a little thing.

NomadMusik's ban until his birthday is so very lame.

Now, I don't know this KidVegeta character very well, but I would hazard to guess that no, he would not give Mr. Annoyance Bureaucrat status for no reason. I get that it's trying to be funny, but it just comes off as a cheap attempt to get a laugh. I didn't laugh.

"After a long series of KV-like events, he bans every one. " - the "he" is unclear here. It's either KV or MA, but your writing is too vague for us readers to know who.

The ending to this story is where it really fell apart. I think the randomness and shoddy asspulling doesn't make this story any funnier. Sannse's part in this story is just, well, illogical.

The notable errors section is pretty pointless. If you know it has all these things wrong with it, I would suggest fixing them, in an attempt to give this story a little humor.

Closing Thoughts: Like most of NM's fics, 'Mr. Annoyance' lacks any sort of execution. The plot choices are subpar and unfunny, while the characters are unrelatable. The thing is, this story makes no sense. Not in the good, unlimated kind of way. More like in the ss11 pure torture bullshit kind of way. To make this story better, I would suggest a multitude of things; first off, get rid of the humor template. It's simply not funny. Secondly, I would recommend at least trying to make the character IC. Also, the MA/Chat scene should be longer and have more impact. Have it show how a PTSN sockpuppet would really act. What one would really say, and really do. And, most importantly, don't have me say something like "u shure". Such a thing is far too terribad for me to ever read again.

Final Rating: R-

HZ Reviews
Pros

I think one of the better reviews is HZ’s review of Clash of Two Worlds. This is one of the few times that HZ seems to go out of his way to list and detail a whole assortment of cons, and explain them in decent manner. I think this is a great review for the author to read, to see what needs to be done to fix up the story.

HZ’s best review is, easily, his review of New Age. Unlike the others, even COTW, with this one, you can see that he put effort into it. His cons are vast, his distaste for it is clearly evident; ie we know what he actually thinks about this one (which is basically a first). The thing to note about this review is that it was not requested of him to review. He went out on his own and did it. Now, that in and of itself is commendable to me. He found something he wanted to review, and he went out and reviewed it with effort. If only all of HZ’s reviews could be like this, I would say he has one of the best reviews blogs on the site. Unfortunately, that is not the case overall.

Cons

The review of Bloodlines is really poor. The con of “Use of the US customary system for measurements” is a pretty irrelevant and useless observation. Otherwise, the review is vague, particularly in the pros section. There is only one pro at all that shows what HZ thinks of the story at all, the first one, and yet for that to warrant an “exceptional” just seems forced to me. Giving a story nigh the highest rating possibly, almost solely based on the quality of writing, with no mention of plot, characters, or anything else is purely lazy. I also doubt author will re-review it, so there’s no point in bothering to put up that notice on the end.

I think the ratings overall are pretty poor and give little insight as to how to compare different reviews on this blog. I’ve seen things like NS which HZ appears to hate, based on his cons, and yet still gives it a “mediocre”, or even with his Bloodlines review which he barely said anything and yet it was still “Exceptional”

I think the Tien: Origins review was a very bad one. One of the worst HZ has ever produced. Complaining about the q/a section (which only serves to help the reader understand more), complaining that Tien gets too much airtime (when it’s his story for crying out loud), and complaining about that bit of only the weak Saiyans surviving (when, it was (and rather brilliantly) explained in the actual story) make me not be able to take this review seriously. On top of that, such things as “the overall story is great” is just too generic and vague to be of any use at all.

A specific con from the Sixth review, “Excellent writing (although I do remember spotting one minor grammar mistake, not that it really matters)” is really annoying. The whole point of a review blog is to tell an author what needs to be fixed. Considering HZ didn’t list any real meaningful cons at all, I don’t see why he couldn’t have at least said where this small error was. It’s not like he said much of anything in the review anyway.

When a story gets a rating like “Mediocre – Very Good” I’m assuming it’s in between those two levels, in decency? Still, it’s a very confusing ratings level, and you should clarify what it means to be in between two levels.

I think there are many useless and vague cons. Many of these I’ve listed above, but I do think a good 80% of the pros and cons overall could use expansion as to what HZ means by them. Remember that the author will read the review, and if the writing simply says something like “Janemba” as a con, that’s useless. It will in no way help them to make the story better, making it a failure as a review.

The unlimated review was funny, but it epitomizes exactly what HZ is capable of; or not, rather. He can’t really give any good reasons as to if he likes or dislikes a story, and then we get a rather random story grade tacked on at the end.

Closing Thoughts: Overall, HZ offers many trite and generic pros/cons. His favorite is “GT is disregarded” which is basically a useless waste of bytes, when it is not coupled with any follow ups in the pros section. It doesn’t give off any sort of professionalism. When looking at his reviews, therefore, I cannot help but think he does not want to do this. Half-assing something, solely for the benefit of others, for the benefit of “being part of the group” is really not respectable at all. If HZ does not want to do reviews, or does not want to put any effort into making them at all good, he should not do reviews at all.

Final Rating: 3.5/10

AkurnaSkulblaka’s Reviews
Pros

The Sixth review, when compared to the other reviews was okay. At least there was some discussion about the actual story, and not just 4 cons of how good it was written and 3 cons on how bad it was formatted.

Cons

With Aku’s reviews, right off the bat my worst con is about perception. The most striking thing about these cons is that Aku says things which, on the surface, look somewhat decent, perhaps even deep. But then you get down to actually looking at the reviews, and that’s where they fall apart. At best, I could call these reviews cursory observations. They lack any real insight.

The review of In Requiem is a waste of time. The author basically just said KidVegeta has good writing abilities, over and over again. Yeah, we get it. It’s written well. It doesn’t take 4 pros to say it. I would much rather hear thoughts on the characters, plot, theme, dialogue; you know, the actual story of it all. The one con basically makes no sense either, which leads me to believe that Aku didn’t read very much of this story at all.

The review of KC is incoherent. Like Aku’s other reviews, it tries to be smart and subtle, yet when the reviewer can’t grasp the themes and intentions of any story he/she is reviewing, there’s no chance of a deep insight.

I think Aku’s AML review is her worst; as well, it’s one of the worst, overall, on the site. First up, the pro and the con are the same thing. She said she liked the idea, then said she didn’t like it. Great start. Next up, the closing thoughts paragraph could be one of the biggest pieces of garbage I have ever read ever. The elitist notion that KidVegeta must write how Stephen King or Jack London (regardless of the legitimacy of their own talent) infuriates me. I don’t possibly see how someone who is so open and tolerant on so many levels, herself, can be such a stupid bigot about writing forms. It boggles my mind. This hate for emails and script once again shows a clear lack of ability to comment on anything of substance. Aku can’t understand the themes, so she resorts to bashing the form.

There are by no means enough cons or pros in any of the reviews to accurately describe them in terms of a rating. They could be rated as anything, really, and it wouldn’t make an ounce of difference.

The adventures review was pretty lazy, in my opinon. Aku spent 3 cons saying it had poor formatting and spelling. Stuff like that is a 1 con deal. There needs to be some talking about the actual story, you know. And simply saying “bardock is in it yayayaya” is just annoying.

Closing Thoughts: I find these reviews to be a great example of someone who does not have the ability to review. They offer little insight with almost no mention of any plot-related aspects. I cannot honestly say that there is anything to be gained from, for an author reading a review of his story from this blog.

Final Rating: 1.8/10

TB’s Reviews
Pros

Not a one.

Cons

This blog’s biggest problem is it’s lack of criticism. In TB’s almost 20 reviews, he has a grand total of 3 cons. That’s for all of them. Most, if not all stories have “none” or “meh” as cons. This is as unhelpful as it is false. To me, this does not seem “lazy” (as HZ’s reviews were), so much as it seems like TB is just trying to be nice. Like he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Welp, saying false things, and simply refusing to put down cons for fear of hurting someone’s feelings makes the review useless.

The ratings system is about the worst one I’ve ever seen. Nearly every story is given a Gold, regardless of it’s quality. There is, of course, TF with its PWNmenship, and AML with its silver, but overall the stories are rated the same, even if they are nowhere near each other in quality. No one can honestly say that Life of A Son is as good as Tien: Origins, or that Temporkai is close to the quality of DIR. Couple this with the fairly generic and simple-minded pros, it’s hard to tell what TB thinks of the stories at all.

The joke review of Dragon Ball DP is something I really don’t like. It gives the blog a much less professional feeling when the author completely disregards his own rules and posts a POS review, on purpose.

The LOAS review is horrid. A terrible waste of space and time. All credibility of this blog goes out the window with this single review. Calling it readable, with minimal spelling errors is laughable. Then spending useless pros on “I like broly” “oh it seems canon whatever that means” whilst refusing to actually comment on the specifics degrades it even more. You still go out of your way to acknowledge the horrible spelling and grammar, yet still say “it’s minimal”. That’s just lying to not hurt someone‘s feelings.

The IR review, like Aku’s review of it, is very superficial, and makes me wonder if TB actually read more than the first two chapters. All of his pros and cons have to do with the first two chapters. Considering that’s a very small part of the story, it really annoys me, the author that he has so little to say about it; or, rather, understood so little of it.

Same thing with SLATT. TB didn’t even realize it was about Cui. The pros are also very vague (of course there would be no cons) and unhelpful in any way at all.

Like nearly every other review of AML, TB’s is shit. He is so vague and lazy about the review, then goes ahead and gives it the lowest rating he’s ever given without any explanation. If there aren’t any cons, well then it certainly can’t be the worst, right? And since realistically, there should be cons, he should have put them. Not just been all “story was okay” vague about it.

Honestly, I don’t think TB has the mental capacity to appreciate any thematic qualities of any of the fics he’s read. This goes for AML, IR, T:O, even DIR. He shows no ability to understand any of them intelligently. He has yet to mention anything of substance about any of them, failed to even try to guess at what anything means within the stories, be they symbolic or thematic, and has instead taken the path of “good story” vagueness over putting any real thought into what he thinks of the story.

Closing Thoughts: TitaniumBardock’s reviews, quite simply, are very bad. He tries to be friends with everyone, so he refuses to criticize or offer any meaningful critiques of stories whatsoever. Sure, he can make even the worst writer feel good about their stories, but when you lie to someone, when you sugar coat your feelings in a review, you are only harming the author. You are telling them they don’t need to improve, that the problems of their fics can be ignored. This is terrible advice, and any author who wants to get real help with their story should avoid TB altogether.

Final Rating: 1.4/10

Misc. Thoughts:

 * The single best scene so far that I have read is Frieza/Cooler learning about the birds and the bees in the fan fiction REDACTED. Quite frankly, it's legendary.
 *  My favorite story thusfar is Tien: Origins. My least favorite is Dragonball Unlimated. 
 * The most common rating is E- (or R- for comedic stories), which is the worst.
 * Most people who cannot write a decent story can also not make decent reviews. I would say the only exception to this rule is Hyper Zergling's, who's reviews are simply subpar because he does not put effort into them, not because he could not make them good.

Stories To Be Reviewed
(these will not be reviewed in any particular order) Revamp reviews:
 * Dragon Ball Z AT by Constinet gr
 * Dragonball YTK by TienShinhan88
 * What is this I don't even... why's it so long by I have no idea who
 * Dragon caos by 68.39.179.48
 * Goku Chronicles by KorintheKat
 * Piccolo: The Guardian of Hell by Mongo42089
 * User Talk:Piccolo The Super Namek/Archive 1 by Piccolo The Super Namek
 * Chocolateaddictjr by Chocolateaddictjr
 * Rise of the Villians by SuperSaiyanKrillin
 * NomadMusik by NomadMusik
 * Dragon Ball Z: King Vegeta the Super Saiyan by Gotek
 * Dragon Ball:Adventures by 99.67.112.19
 * Proud Saiyan Prince Vegeta by Maki Jiita
 * Ania.gif by NomadMusik
 * No Spam by Chocolateaddictjr
 * Where'd You Go? by NomadMusik
 * Finish AP
 * All review blogs
 * Dragon Ball EG
 * Gohan Son and the Prisoner of Azkaban