User blog comment:KidVegeta/KidVegeta's reviews/@comment-3122168-20110412043727

There’s something wrong with the sentences. They are worded very awkwardly. I'm not exactly sure, but some of your previous works (IMO) were filled with this such as Origins. I don't exactly know how to fix it either, sorry.

That's okay. I wasn't expecting anything else. But, for reference, I tried to write it in more of a runic style to fit the mythological context of the story, which is, in part, why it may have failed in clarity of sentences.

I think Korin’s first person is a little to elegant for his personality. That said, it’s not consistently super elegant, which makes this an inconsistent con.

Korin's personality is neverreally shown in full; all we ever do see by him is him walking around wisecracking and whatnot. However, I doubt that this is his genuine personality, given that he's not going to be guardian of the world for no reason. Kami probably chose him due to this wisdom; more on that later.

I personally did not see the reasoning behind Scraggly charging the Makyan.

I don't explicitly state this, I guess. The main reason he does it is that you must remember he is a highly religious person, as is his tribe. Because of this, when he sees a mean guy attacking god, he attacks the mean guy, hence why he was shouting loyalties to his religion when he attacked the Makyan. Maybe that could've been more clear, Iono, I intended for that to be somewhat subtle from the beginning.

I thought it wasn’t aptly explained how Kami knew about Korin; nor did I think it was explained well enough why Korin would accept to do what this random person told him. Well, the tale is inspired by King Arthur and whatnot, so inferences were to be expected to be made here. In essence, though, Korin, when he was born, was chosen to take this staff, but had to travel around and do stuff first too. That's why I shed so little light on his early life; he didn't have one, really. He was more or less poofed into existance by Kami, who wanted him to take the cane and all that. As this was, in and of itself, the reason for his existance, he naturally felt comfortable when taking the position, which is why he chose to follow orders.