Cell and Frieza Go Camping

This is a humorous fanfiction about Cell and Frieza going camping. They have numerous misadventures, there is much drama, and no one gets away unscathed.

Chapter 1: Outdoor Punishment
"Get up! Get up!  GEEEEEEET UUUUUUUUUP!" Goz screamed at the people in Hell. Everyone woke up, no one dared keep sleeping. Everyone woke up-- King Cold, Cooler, Kid Buu, Raditz, Nappa, The Ginyu Force... but Cell and Frieza were the last two awake. They always were. Every night would be spent with them arguing about who is the more perfect being. No matter how many points were made, neither agreed with each other. They were mortal enemies, and would never, ever be friends. Or so was thought.

Everyone was dragged out of their prison cells and sat down to eat breakfast. It was the same as always: Chili. It seemed that was all they ever served. Crappy chili with cold and hard beans, cold sauce that wasn't even spicy, and it tasted horrible. Though in Hell conditions, no one missed a meal. That is, everyone except Cell and Frieza. They would almost never eat because of their arguments, and because they never ate, their arguments heated up more and they became grumpier. This time, the argument was the worst in months.

"Say, Frieza, I have a higher power level than you. It's a proven fact!" Cell bragged triumphantly to Frieza.

Frieza wasn't convinced. "Yes, but I don't need to absorb people to advance in forms! That's the way I'd be able to beat you-- I get stronger faster!"

Cell was not about to say Frieza was the more perfect being. "But who's stronger in the end, me or you?"

Frieza snapped. He couldn't take Cell's bragging any more. "That's it, you little-" Rather than cursing loudly at him in front of the other prisoners, he grabbed his chair and threw it at Cell. Cell punched through it, breaking it into pieces.

Everyone was shocked, as penalty for violence between prisoners had a high price to pay here.

"What do you think will happen to them?" Raditz asked.

"I'm ashamed of my son!" King Cold said.

"The perfect being doesn't listen to anything anyone else says." said Cooler.

Goz quickly came to break up the fight, but he was too late. The two were already throwing their most dangerous attacks at each other.

"Guys! Stop it!  Both of you report to Dabura immediately!" Goz said.

The two didn't listen to him. Cell and Frieza kept fighting despite Goz's yelling.

Goz, helpless, called for Mez to help him out.

"What do you need?" Mez asked Goz. Goz pointed at Cell and Frieza.

"Them?!" Mez asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes." said Goz.

Cell and Frieza ignored them. "Spirit Bomb!" Cell said, charging a blue ball of energy. "Death Ball!" screamed Frieza, charging a red ball of energy. They threw the energy balls at each other, causing a massive explosion of ki energy.

After the dust cleared, Frieza and Cell were exhausted from their attacks. They were exhaling heavily, trying to recharge, and were in no shape to fight.

"Now!" Goz exclaimed. Goz and Mez grabbed the two from behind. Cell and Frieza tried to resist, but they couldn't. They were immediately taken to Dabura.

"What is it?" Dabura asked Goz and Mez.

"These two got in a heated fight. Not like the little scuffles they usually have, they had a fight to the death.  That is, until we broke it up." Goz explained.

Dabura thought for a while. "I have just the punishment for them."

"What is it?!" Goz and Mez both asked.

Dabura smirked. "They will go on a camping trip together, on Earth. For a week.  They are free to do whatever they want there, EXCEPT get separated or kill each other.  They do any one of those, they come back here and are burned, never to come back."

Cell and Frieza looked at each other and then Dabura, horrified. Their hearts were pounding harder than the tolling of the iron bell, their eyes were wider than the grand canyon, and they were sweating more than a fat guy running a marathon.

Dabura smirked again. "But, there is a small reward if you two don't do that. If you two come back together alive, then you two will get separate cells and groups, so you two never have to see each other again."

Cell and Frieza nodded, thinking that was a good reward.

"So now, I will send you guys to Earth with camping materials. Tent, food, water, sleeping bags, everything you need.  Now, you will be leaving in one hour." Dabura threw them their backpacks, fully loaded, and then they just sat down away from each other until they were transported to camp.